Twilight Sparkle mused over her incredibly hilarious prank that she had set up in order to get her friends' geese on April Fools Day, a day of joy and laughter where my innocence certainly wasn't stolen from me by the "prank" the middle-aged lifeguard pulled on me when I was a child, wherein he pulled me into his van, took me to a run down shack in the middle of the woods and raped me day after day until I was finally able to escape thanks to his not feeding me making my wire-thin arms able to slip out of the chains that trapped me within the dank, rotten, semen-soaked hellhole that I managed to slowly crawl away from in the dead of night as I prayed silently to a God I no longer believed in that I would not be ripped apart by the coyotes that prowled the forest, searching hungrily for a sick, weak piece of meat to gnaw on.
She laughed, much like my father did when I begged him to press charges against the man who had scarred me for life, his sick, twisted smile being burned into my mind as the man whom nature had determined I'd trust the most turned his back on me.
"Golly jeepers Spike, this is going to be the best April Foals Day ever!"
In response, Spike pushed his wire-frame glasses further up the bridge of his nose.
"Twilight, April Foals Day implies that all children are nothing but tools for your sick amusement you ageist freak."
"Yes? Well calling someone a freak is ableist," Twilight shot back expertly, having become accustomed to using Spike's Liberal rhetoric against him. Twilight hated Liberals, the whole Liberal season, now please don't ask why, no one cares for the reason. But if your curiosity is at all piqued it's because they're a bunch of hypocritical close-minded pussies. For the record, she also hates Conservatives for pretty much the same reason except they're assholes instead of pussies. Team America be damned.
Spike, having been thoroughly outclassed by his intellectual superior stormed off in a fit of rage like the Regidar-esque Liberal dipshit he is. His hypocrisy oozed from his scales, pooling on the floor until Twilight put it in a jar labeled "Liberal Hypocrisy" and placed it on her hypocrisy shelf. Politics should always be put in My Little Pony fanfics homie, it's definitely not a stupid idea.
Twilight returned to her epic prank, calling up her pals with her brand new telephone, which was invented in Equestria recently by Alexander Grahm-HORSE. Really though I didn't want to write about her walking around inviting her stupid friends over to do stupid shit.
While she waited, Twilight played mental Boggle with herself.
After quite some time, Twilight's friends had all come over and made themselves comfortable, tracking mud into the castle like the filthy, degenerate scum that they are, especially Fluttershy who is second worst pony(Luna is worse). They were all sitting their shitty asses on their respective thrones, creating a foul odor that permeated Twilight's sensitive alicorn nostrils.
"I bet you're all wondering why i-"
"Nope, don't fucking care, adios," said Dashing Rainbow(that's her name, yeah?) who subsequently rainbow dashed ;D out of the room.
"Well okay but-"
"I don't give three-eighths of a fuck either, and I have a lot of farm work to do," said Applejack, her southern drawl obscuring everything except for her outdated Christian ideals. The retarded scumfuck is the reason prop 8 got passed in Equestria.
"Well I'm sure that-"
"Eat my shit, faggot, I'm way too radical for this lame showing," said Rarity, staying perfectly in character.
"Me too, I actually have a prior social engagement, I only appeared because you made this gathering sound important, but seeing that half of our little entourage has vacated the premises it doesn't really matter at this point. I bid thee good day," said Pinkie, staying perfectly in character.
Twilight's heart sunk as she witnessed her hilarious prank unspool before it even got spooled in the first place. Now everyone was gone, everyone, there wasn't a single pony left to prank except... Twilight's eyes lit up as she realized that second worst pony Fluttershy was still in the room. happily, Twilight pulled the lever Kronk, WRONG LEVEEEERRRR. After warding off hungry gharials, Twilight pulled the other lever, dropping a big rock on Fluttershy's stupid head, and knocking her unconscious.
Twilight slapped Fluttershy's bitch face, rousing her from her slumber. Fluttershy was terrified to find that she was strapped to a gynecology table, and Twilight was standing in front of her beside a tray covered in torture devices and power tools.\
Wordlessly Twilight picked up a power drill and plunged it into Fluttershy's virgin pussy, grinding the inside into a meat shake, the pink, chunky mixture of flesh and blood pouring out of her nether region like a faucet.
"Yeah whatever ouch I guess," said Fluttershy.
"Yes, scream for me, fuel my bloodlust with your cries of agony!"
Twilight left the drill inside Fluttershy's vagina, holding it steady with her magic, as she went to the table and procured a scalpel. Silently, she moved over to Fluttershy and made a small incision in her left forelock.
Fluttershy released a bloodcurdling scream as her face scrunched up in pain. Twilight used her magic to hold Fluttershy's eyes open, then took the scalpel to them, slicing her corneas delicately taking care to damage, but not completely blind Fluttershy. More bloodcurdling cries followed.
Twilight then levitated Angel Bunny in front of Fluttershy, before placing him on a spinning grindstone, slowly but surely transforming him into a pile of fur and mushy flesh. Fluttershy cried you fucking idiot, her best pet just got murdered, stop being a dick.
Twilight also fucked Fluttershy's boyfriend and sent mean text messages to her friends using Fluttershy's phone.
Later, as Fluttershy lay, with her organs visible through her open chest cavity, her cunt ground into nothing, her eyes bleeding, her throat raw, Twilight leaned close to her ear.
"It was just a prank bro."
Twilight then left the room raughing like an asian. Fuck this story.
"Well golly," said Fluttershy, "this is worse than the Baltimore riots.
The joke is that the riots happened. Thanks Family Guy, for teaching me to be funny.
