Size Doesn't Matter

by Skylas

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Sex, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 1198

The four Princesses of Equestria come together to discuss a very important matter. Who's horn is bigger?

A Short Story about the four Princesses coming together to enjoy a conversation, that is until Celestia decided to mention how big her horn was. Sexually referential hilarity ensues.

A quick little short story~

Tagged Sex for many sexual references. Duh.

Edit: Wow! This is the second story I've ever written and it's doing so well! Thanks to everyone who read and shared their thoughts on it!

Edit 2: Holy Halibut! This reached so much more than I had ever expected it to get to haha! I'd like to thank CaptainBron3y for reading this aloud on his channel! You should go check him out! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_N6l1TzmmDNiFsp9CyK-5A

Published 2016-04-03 03:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-03 03:10:02 UTC

It's How You Use It.

Size Doesn’t Matter

It was a regular day in Equestria, the various Princesses were normally separated, save for Celestia and Luna, who mostly did not see each other due to their spread sleep patterns. However, today was different. The Princesses had planned this for weeks, finally finding a hole in all their schedules, Twilight was finally able to arrange a meeting at Canterlot for all four of them to have a nice relaxing conversation, or so she thought.

It was an incredibly nice day, Celestia had ordered the pegasi to clear the skies for their meeting, as well as brought her finest tea, awaiting the others to arrive she sat and began thinking to herself, tapping her chin, then her horn curiously with her hoof. Of course, this was exactly when Twilight had entered, tilting her head as she watched Celestia tapping her own horn.

“Princess Celestia? Are you…?” Twilight had spoken suddenly, making Celestia give a tiny yelp, and a bit of nervous laughter as her former student entered the balcony.

“Sorry for being in an, odd position when you entered, I was just thinking... “ said Celestia as she looked towards the sky, muttering to herself, “Huh, I never really thought about that.” Twilight gave a confused look as she sat across from Celestia and tilted her head.

“Thought about what?” Twilight said, with her head still tilted off to the side.

“Nothing Twilight. It’s very good to see you, I am glad you managed to find time for everypony to be here.” said Celestia, with a very dainty smile.

“Of course! I wouldn’t have it any other way, I always wanted to have a nice casual meeting with all of you. The last time we were all together, the Crystal Empire was almost turned into an ice cube.” said Twilight, with a blush and nervous smile.

Before Celestia could respond, Luna had flown in and landed aside Celestia, giving her sister a soft embrace, “It is good to see you my sister, it has been too long since we have had some time to relax together.” Luna said, with an almost uncharacteristically big smile, “And Twilight, it is good to see you when the fate of Equestria does not hang in the balance.”

“It’s good to see you as well Princess Luna.” said Twilight, with a slight bow, prompting Luna to give a slight laugh.

“Twilight, there is no need for such formalities right now, we are here to have a good time, are we not?” said Luna with a smile, “In fact, continuing to do so would be like stroking each other’s horns!”

Cadence had seemed to enter at the perfect moment, walking through the door to the balcony to only hear, “Stroking each other’s horns!”

“What?” Cadence said in confusion, prompting the other three Princesses to look over, Twilight face-hoofed. Celestia tried not to laugh as Luna blushed and stuttered to fix her phrase.

“You didn’t hear the whole thing! I swear I did not recommend such a thing!” Luna was blushing as Cadence gave a giggle.

“Talk about entering at the right time!” Cadence trotted over to Twilight’s side, giving her a quick embrace, “So, judging by what I heard, the get-together is already in full swing?”

Luna’s face was buried into the table in embarrassment, prompting a giggle from Celestia, “Well, while we are on the subject of horns, there was something I had thought about before all of you came.” said Celestia, which made Twilight tilt her head once again.

“As much as I would like to get off the subject of horns, I thought you said you weren’t thinking of anything.” Twilight said, a bit of an indignant look on her face.

“I didn’t expect the conversation to go this way, but, like I said, while we are on the topic.” said Celestia, who proceeded to tap her horn with her forehoof once more, “I never really thought about it, but I noticed my horn is a might bigger than everypony elses.”

“You can’t possibly have JUST thought of that.” said Luna, who seemed to have recovered from her earlier embarrassment, “I mean, of course they’re bigger, we are Alicorns, power is synonymous with size.”

Twilight grumbled annoyedly, looking about and noticing, her horn was the only one that was normal unicorn sized, “Okay, seriously, that’s where this conversation is going? Even if it is big, it’s what you can do with it that matters.” said Twilight annoyedly.

Cadence looked between the sisters and Twilight, “Well Twilight. Celestia and Luna move the sun and moon, I would think they are powerful.” said Cadence. Twilight let out a frustrated grumble.

“They’ve been alive for thousands of years, even if their horns grew bigger with their power, they still have had thousands of years to perfect their magic!” shouted Twilight, who had become angry at this point.

“Calm down Twilight, it’s simple, bigger horn is better, right dear sister?~” Luna said with a grin.

“I agree Luna, that must be what it is!~” Celestia giggled out. Twilight clenched her teeth, trying to resist shouting.

"Oh come on, that doesn't... Okay really?! You two have been alive for thousands of years! Neither me or Cadence can really compare!” shouted Twilight, her wings giving a flap as she grew even more frustrated with the situation.

"Actually Twilight, now that I am looking at it, My horn isn't that much smaller." Cadence said, giving her own horn a tap.

“That’s true Cadence, you must hold a great amount of power, mayhaps we should look into this?” said Luna with genuine curiosity.

"OH COME ON! Cadence! You are supposed to back me up on this!” roared Twilight, who had taken flight, “That’s it! We can have the meeting another day! I’m going home!”

Twilight had taken off and flew off towards Ponyville, leaving the other three in slight stunned silence, “Do you think she is jealous because our horns are bigger?” Cadence said with her hoof to her chin.

“I AM NOT JEALOUS!!!!” boomed Twilight from a distance.

“Probably. I’m sure she will be fine. Who wants tea?” said Celestia, the others nodding in approval of the proposal.

Back in Ponyville, Twilight had gone back to the castle, storming through the front entrance. Twilight had completely regretted her decision, feeling her own horn with a hoof, “Stupid tiny horn.” whispered Twilight, laying on her bed and sighing. Spike entered, as he had seen her enter the castle.

“Hey Twilight! How did the meeting go?” said Spike, walking over, listening closely.

“Terribly.” grumbled Twilight.

“What? What happened?!” shouted Spike, putting his claws to either side of his head.

“Nothing. Nothing happened Spike, I don’t want to talk about it.” mumbled Twilight, who had stuffed her head into a pillow.

“Alright.” Spike mumbled back, playing with his claws as a very slow, and awkward silence had come over them. Spike put a claw to his chin, “Hey, Twilight.”

“Yes Spike?” said Twilight as she lifted her head up slowly, hoping it was something to get her mind away from her frustration.

“Have you ever noticed how big Celestia’s horn is?”

“GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”