Author's Note

Though I'm not using all of his world, the idea of the Asinian Republic from Carabas, specifically http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/540334/part-2-of-the-palaververse-asinia and as it crops up in his stories was inspirational. Mine may not necessarily follow his, but credit where credit's due.

Chapter 20 - Snark, Hunting

Hopper yawned and stretched out. It wasn't his bed he woke up in, though the comfortable immensity that supported him at his full stretch fooled him for a moment, and it took him a moment to make it through his … morning rise? No, his internal clock said, it was late afternoon! Oh dear. Through my late afternoon rise. His last two years had been spent half on the train, or flying for distance and stamina, or otherwise visiting a variety of various other species. If this was hunting season, and oh, how wrong he'd been about that being bad, that had been display season. The trophy before the hunt? Morbid concept, in some ways, Hopper thought, then blinked himself the rest of the way awake.

"The Lady is so lucky," someone said in a sarcastic Neigh Orleans accent, and he yelped, wrapping his-- no, the starfield blankets, belonging to someone else, around himself. He looked over, seeing a relatively normally sized, if extremely curvy, blue unicorn wearing a star-covered hat, and the robes of a Night Mage-- Night Archmage, he realized, and blinked.

"Trixie Lulamoon? Why are…"

Trixie chuckled. "Why is the Gr-r-r-eat and Power-r-r-ful T-r-r-r-rixie staring at her Lady's apprentice, starkers in her Lady's bed?"

He had thought she had gotten past the pronoun thing in Luna's service. Still a bit sleep-bleary, he asked, "Er…"

She grinned. "Sh- the Lady told Trixie you needed to work on broadening your tongue's education," snarked the mare.

Hopper yelped. "Hey, I didn't sign up for…"

Trixie sauntered over to the bed, hips swinging. "Didn't sign up to be taught sexual pleasure with all sorts of mares? What if you need to make sweet love to a unicorn for magic under the moonlit sky? Or with a little earth pony to bring fertility back to her village?"

He shifted further back on Luna's bed, and further away from Trixie. "That… um… this is outside of lesson hours?" he hazarded.

The Archmage of Illusions carefully smoothed the folds of her robes as she sat, then burst out laughing. "Good Luna's Lambency, you are Twilight Sparkle's student, aren't you? I thought my Lady was just joking when she said you'd shy off." She pouted a bit, and it was actually fairly cute, her muzzle screwing up distastefully. "You made me lose twenty-five bits to her, and she's a Princess!"

"... huh?" More of Hopper woke up just as she was about to snark again, and he sighed, "Prank wars. I should be honored they're letting me into the prank wars, I guess."

Gales of laughter, if kindly winds of joy, erupted from Trixie, who took her hat off to fan herself. "Sorry. And, yes, you should be. Though I understand that's not everything," she said, wriggling her eyebrows. As he gave her a flat glare, she chuckled heartily again. "I prefer mares, big guy," she said with a snort. "And I owe Twilight Sparkle and the Elements too much, let alone my Lady, to interfere." She smiled sadly. "Even if my Lady won't tell me what our status will be other than 'still her friend' after the marriage. I don't suppose…?"

He gave her another of what might be called an old-fashioned look. "If Princess Luna isn't saying anything," he said, and then reached over, carefully keeping the blanket around his waist, to pat her on the arm. "I, er, don't know how much you know, so, I can't really," he babbled, coughing a bit.

Trixie patted his huge arm again. "You're getting trained by her in sex magic, that I know. You need to work on your jumpiness, too, boy. Sex magic is powerful, and you might not always have much of a choice among your available willing partners." She paused for a moment, and then added, "Also, you should know that gullibility is not the same thing as being innocently charming. Trixie does not want you embarrassing her Lady and end up having to listen to her whine about you creating some sort of … addictive sex-demon changeling hybrid, or whatever, because you fell for a pretty pair of boobs."

Hopper's face darkened again with his embarrassment. "I'd like to think that something as beautiful as sex magic should only be used with the most willing of willing…"

He stopped speaking abruptly as she slugged his arm. The mare let out a huge yelp and wriggled her hand at the wrist. "It's like punching the Lady!" she said in surprise. He gave a sigh, a shrug, and concentrated on an anesthetic spell.

Trixie nodded. "Thanks, but when she gets here, Trixie is going to ask the Magnificent and Forgiving Twilight to punch you instead, or the Lady if she's here first," she grumbled, then seized control of her pronouns. "Erhem. The Lady wants you trained, bucko," she told him, pointing an accusing finger from the unhurt hand. "That training includes the understanding that your power may be necessary to use. The Great Ladies have. The Elemental Ladies do. Whatever your relation to and for them, you may be called upon for the same 'sacrifice'." She sighed, looking at his face. "You really are such a colt, aren't you? No, don't pull out any of what you consider 'proof', it will not impress."

"Explain to me, please?" he asked quietly.

"Simple. Fertility isn't just a potent output of the rites. Even if contraception or pulling out, or whatever you stallions do is used," Trixie replied, waving a hand dismissively, "Which will decrease ritual effect of the spell, the fact that you are a fertile alicorn stallion, period, means that you can create some truly Great Works. If a trained sex mage-- fuck, even a trained sex worker who needs you to regulate both your energies-- is present, and the power, or the type of power is needed… You've been given much, Shadow Hopper!" She glared at him, and suddenly, he realized that she might have valid suspicions about the endgame of the training-- and valid reasons to dislike him as a result. After a moment, she sighed, and smoothed out her robes. "You've been given much," she repeated softly, and asked, "Will you refuse if Equestria-- if any on Epona need such a solution?"

Hopper shook his head vigorously. "No, no," he said, "Nothing like that, of course! I just… I don't like the idea."

She smirked and stood, putting her hat back on. "Tough tits. Or testes, or whatever you need to toughen up," she said, and shook her head as she watched him turn away. She glared again, and stamped a foot impatiently. "Trixie is trying to teach you! Listen! You've a duty now that you've chosen to try for what's been offered you, Shadow Hopper," she said sternly. "That you want none unwilling and would prefer emotional involvement-- yay, hurrah for the former, basic ethics. For the latter? Stop whining! If whoever is foal enough to marry you doesn't mind, will you truly be unwilling to help? I'm so glad I'm not going to be the one taking you home, cleaning you up, and trying to get you to act like a grown-up. Nothing personal; like I said, I prefer mares."

He grumbled and protested this cavalier dismissal. "My rooms are pristine!"

"With Twilight Sparkle being the main Element responsible for you? I'd be shocked if they weren't in careful grids," Trixie said with a chuff, and laughed when she saw him duck his head away. "My Lady's room is a mess," she said, gesturing at the opulent room, with clothing thrown everywhere, the latest gaming consoles, and so forth. Only books, certain treasured mementos, and of course, weapons, were carefully set away, and one might need the legs of a giantess to step over discarded clothing piles to get to them. "Much as I might try to convince her to let the cleaning boys or at least her thestral clanmaidens in here once a decade…" She grumbled, then continued, "It's a different sort of clean up. Ask Princess Rarity when you're older. No, eighteen doesn't count," she said as he tried to protest again.

Hopper folded his arms over his chest and grumbled some as well, before saying, "I'd think my willingness matters, too."

She frowned. "It does, I suppose," she said, then sighed, running her fingers through her bangs and tucking them behind her long ears. "No, it certainly does. I've had an earful from the Lady about her sister's masculinist policies, both complaints and the truth, and you're right, your willingness does matter. Tartarus and Rainbow Dark, it would matter to the rites, if nothing else, but…" The archmage clenched her fists. "Trixie so prefers just telling people things and having them go ooh and ahh and traveling on to do them." She tilted her head to the side and looked over the sitting male. "Ok. Absolute principles aside for the moment, can you truly tell me that if it was a tool you could use to save someone, to fulfill your vital duties, Shadow Hopper, you would not perform a rite with a willing partner?"

Hopper was about snap back a retort concerning absolute principles and absolute necessities, but he sighed. No, he didn't need to worry about consent. A luxury others sometimes didn't have, even in Equestria, and it was a form of power. He ran his fingers back through his mane, and then said quietly, "I can't, I suppose. But I suppose it would depend on the duty. Which has been somewhat vague, I'll admit. Do you know any more, by chance?"

She nodded. "My Lady says the plan is for you to be the Champion of Equestria, not a Prince with your own bailiwick, yes?" As he nodded in reply, she said, "And as I understand it, you're really only going to be good at the classic stallion 'special talent' of being a large target, aka meat shield, and something else my Lady won't tell me, and this time, I don't think I want to know more. Bigger and buffer, but basically, back-up and thug power, yes?"

Hopper coughed and replied, "More or less. Also, can you turn around so I can put some clothes on?"

Trixie looked amused. "You know she walks around naked with even the Night Guards she doesn't fuck, right? And mostly keeps those of us in her close service naked when we're exercising, like the Pegasopolans of old. She likes the primal thing in her thestrals and other converts," Trixie said with a sigh, stroking a moon pendant necklace at her throat. He blinked. Converts? I heard rumors Luna kept a cult despite Celestia's unofficial disapproval… guess so!

He gave what he hoped was a regal a stare. "I am me. Please turn around," he said, holding in the temptation to growl at her.

Trixie suddenly smiled. "Fine, fine. Not like it matters anyway," she said, and turned around to face the wall. "If you're like this with my Lady though…"

Hopper sighed, and got out of bed. He looked around for the clothes he'd left and suddenly realized.. "Oh, fuck, they're all downstairs…"

"I might know where some clothes are that can fit you. But I want you to promise you won't keep my Lady away with body shyness! She wants you, boy. My Lady gets what my Lady wants!"

"I get some say in this too," Hopper said, and put his hands on his hips.

"Promise!"

"... really, if you know I'm being trained in sex magic by her…"

"If you don't care…"

"I promise," Hopper said, with a loud huff.

"On the bed," Trixie said with a chirp. "Probably under the blankets you tossed around," she added, helpfully. He could hear the smirk in her voice.

"Thank you," he responded, figuring that dignified was his best response. To his vast relief, there was a complete set of clothing waiting for him. One of his sleeves, boxers cut to fit over it, a pair of casual pants, a dark navy this time rather than his black velvet of the day before, but still showing Rarity's chosen stylistic subtlety for him, and a matching shirt. He hopped around, pulling things on as fast as he could. He still wasn't certain about the whole uninterested-but-not-unwilling.

"Yeah, yeah, fine, Trixie accepts your gra- I mean, you're welcome," Trixie said. "Five years pronoun stable and she gets me every time, then leaves me with you to look after. Done?"

"Sec, belt," Hopper said, and chuffed as she turned around anyway. He finished strapping the belt on and glared.

"I am not staring at a section of wall my Lady has left … stains… on for more than year while you put on your belt, boy. Get used to it," she said. She folded her arms over her chest. "Where were we? Right, duties. No one's going to make you rut anyone who doesn't want you, or vice versa, established, etc. Doesn't work, and my Lady tells me she didn't stand for 'fixing' colt-cuddlers in her time." She shuddered. "The Lady gets… angry, I think, it's not like her usual anger. Trixie's never had the courage to ask those questions, or the heartlessness to push. Trixie isn't sure."

He took note of that. If it was prying, he wouldn't, but some day, if everything worked out, he would theoretically be Luna's confidant. He'd need to find out whether courage was needed, or empathy forfended. For the moment, he just nodded.

"But building from that, if you have a strong charge, or can take part in a ritual, you can greatly expand all of the Ladies' tools. The simplest example that doesn't involve you and one of the Ladies is what I mentioned before. If a fertility rite needs multiple anchors, or more participation-- sometimes numbers are more important than the power of an individual," Trixie explained, "I would hope that any apprentice of my Lady would be generous with pleasure and tip if he had to be the center for a ring of sex workers or volunteers."

Hopper blushed brightly. "I suppose so. You said the others…"

She smirked. "I'm a fillyfooler, not blind, boy. I've seen the way you look at the Ladies when they take someone away for fun. Be truthful-- that's one of the things you like about them," she snarked at him, and he couldn't deny it. He was about to respond, when there was a sudden poofing noise from her hat, and Trixie smiled fondly, her eyes distant.

He tilted his head a bit, and Trixie made an elaborate stage bow, flipping her hat off her head, gliding down her arm, and ending upside down held in one hand. A glowing blue-white light levitated a scroll out, and over to him. "Taaaa-daaa!"

Hopper actually clapped before taking the scroll; apparently, becoming one of the nine chief court mages hadn't stopped her from keeping up her showmanship. She smiled and bowed. "Still got it," she said, confirming his speculation.

He read through the letter. "Hmm. I'm to take some time to study this while Celestia remains in privy council with Twilight," he said and looked up. "Any active wards I need to worry about?"

Trixie was silent for a moment, concentrating. "Not now," she told him after a minute. Sounding half-guilty, she asked, "Why not study here?"

Hopper wondered why he hadn't felt any magic, but thanked her again before heading out, saying, "I appreciate the assistance-- but I'd like to hit the Afternoon Sitting Room while the light is right." She nodded with understanding and contemplated her orders; as he paused at the door, she waved him on, apparently deciding it was more her duty to stay.

He wished he could shadow hop directly. Not that they could stop me, but until things get settled… Ultimately, he didn't want to have to deal with the consequences of a teleportation in the private grounds; as the increasing series and scale of attacks on Equestria and the world had gotten worse, Celestia had reluctantly commissioned Twilight to aid her in tightening the defenses; while Celestia was willing to risk herself, she was not so cavalier with her staff or visitors. Hope and other words starting with h left Hopper anticipating a permanent key to the defenses, but he only had a secondary key, allowing him walking passage if not cut off by one of the primaries.

Without a key or authorization, the initial response, while probably not lethal to one such as he, would be at the least very embarrassing. At the worst, it might seriously upset the Six… or Celestia or Luna! Does Trixie laughing at me count as a different kind of worse?

It was a crisp walk to make it while the lighting was at its best, but the other, more important reason Hopper wanted the Afternoon Sitting Room was that it was just that-- a tea sitting room with little else. If Celestia wasn't there, it was unlikely to be occupied. The scroll had actually consisted of a short note from Celestia over a longer missive from, apparently, Twilight. Celestia's scroll simply said:

"To my good friend Hopper,

Lulu says you know everything is fine with my rite and your prospects with us. I asked Twilight to write some things down for you that the two of you really didn't get a chance to chat on. From her reactions, you'll want to read in some privacy. Trust me.

Perhaps yours soon enough,
Celestia"

Hopper's poor cocksleeve strained, and Hopper wrestled with his self control. The promises. The potential. It wasn't just what he had hoped for; it was what he had dreamed of hoping for. Though between things like Trixie's appearance at the bed, and Celestia's teasing, he did wonder if he was going to have to ask Rarity for a lot of spare clothes.

Especially below the waist.

Eventually, Hopper reached the Afternoon Sitting Room, in Celestia's wing of the palace. It wasn't in the public, or even "well-liked guests" section of the wing; instead, it was where no one further away than a hoofmaiden or treasured ally might be permitted. The pristine white room was carefully decorated with tiny prisms and mirrors to send rainbow scatters around the room. From about three in the afternoon on-- depending on the season-- the patterns became especially intense. Pegasi had been known to note that it was something like flying through rainbow spray but "less spicy".

The table within was of simple construction, but with well-polished, smooth wood and a breathtakingly beautiful grain pattern. Around the square table were four squares that, otherwise all but indistinguishable from the rest of the floor, could be moved and opened to different depths, with pillows of various consistencies the deeper one went. As a practical measure, it meant that everyone sat at the table at the same height; something Celestia found extremely important. Other simple furniture nearby had all the necessities-- hopefully, Hopper thought, including cleaning supplies? Spills must happened, right?

There hadn't been any when Hopper himself had first been permitted here, two years ago. It had been just before the start of his grand tour, and was both a reward for his study and a sort of final exam. It felt-- not peaceful, but promising. Highly promising, indeed.

Hopper obsessed over his past lessons as he checked through the cabinets for the supplies he was fairly sure he'd need. Scent alone told him that Twilight had decided to make some interesting promises of her own. Eventually, he found what he considered to be sufficient absorbent materials, and sat down to read.

He had to go back for more halfway through.