Fluttershy the Trophy Wife

by Malozi

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Original Character, Comedy, Fluttershy, Random
Length: 7917

Fluttershy has been having trouble with two new recent humans.... Why do they keep following her around? What's their deal? And why do they keep looking at her so funny?

_____ Fluttershy notices something while on her way to meet up at Victoria's house, her human friend. She's being followed. Again. Of course, it is by one or both of the two humans that she helped not too long ago. They think she never knows they're there but she does. And it's not just the following, it's how they've been acting recently, as well. Which is why she's heading to Victoria's to enlist her help to find out what their deal is.

_____ Set in season three.
_____ Done as a gift for TGM. Blessed be he. I'm also unsure of who the artist is, so if you're wondering about who did it, ask TGM. Oh. And Preread by TGM as well, I guess.
_____ Rated teen for some colorful language and some implications.
_____ Probably the only story that has anything to do with anonymous that you'll see from me.

Published 2016-09-02 02:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-02 02:30:01 UTC

Okay, that's enough. Stop.

_____They were watching her again. Well, at least one of them was, at the moment. Fluttershy wasn’t stupid.

It was only since three days ago that they’d both gotten out of the hospital in Ponyville. They both acted completely normal, at least as normal as one could act when you’re dying of starvation, when she’d brought them in. But ever since then, they were just plain creepy. In fact, here came one of them now.

Femanon. Still wearing those professional-looking clothes, as usual. It was like she never changed out of them. Ever. Either that or she somehow had endless copies of the same clothing stashed away somewhere. Fluttershy was absolutely sure that Rarity wasn’t making the clothes, or she’d probably be throwing a fit every time they went to the spa. There was also no possible way for them to have been made before she arrived in Ponyville, her original clothing had been tattered, and repaired by Rarity, but that was all that she had on her. So Fluttershy wanted to believe that Femanon had multiple pairs of same outfit. Please, for the love of Celestia, please let that be true.

“Hey, Fluttershy!” Femanon said with a wave. There was a smile on her… face. If it could be called that.

“Hey, Femanon,” Fluttershy replied back.

The smile on the human’s face did not disappear. In fact, it only seemed to grow wider. “Oh I have so many things planned that we can do together! Come on! Let’s go!” She made a move to grab Fluttershy’s hoof but Fluttershy pulled away.

“Excuse me, what?”

“I said we’ve got a bunch of fun stuff planned!”

“Oh, sorry… I um… kind of have something else I need to do and this is really sudden. I barely even know you. If you make plans and run it by me in the future, maybe I’ll set some time aside for you. I’m sure it might even be fun, but right now I have some place to be.”

“Oh… maybe some other time, then?”

“Maybe.”

“See you around, then.”

“Yeah. See you around, I guess.” Fluttershy took to the sky, hoping to avoid the other human hiding in one of the alleys. Adrian, was his name. Thankfully she was able to do so, and her destination wasn’t very far. It only took her about a minute of casual flight to reach the house of the person she was hoping could help her.

Fluttershy knocked on the door. “I’ll be right there!” a voice called from inside. After a few short seconds Fluttershy stared up at the third resident human of Equestria. The human had brown skin, black hair, and brown eyes. “Oh, hey Fluttershy! What’s up?”

“Hi, Victoria. Um, do you mind if I come in?”

“Sure! No problem.” She shifted to the side to allow Fluttershy to go through but suddenly started blocking the door again. “Oh, wait, before you do, I’d advise flying in here. Just for a few seconds.”

“Why?”

“Just trust me.”

“Um. Okay.” Fluttershy hovered off the ground and entered the house, Victoria closing the door behind her.

“I’m going to go ahead and say this now. I apologize for the mess.”

What mess? Fluttershy thought. The place was impeccably clean. Even Twilight couldn’t try to organize everything better.

“Now I know what you’re thinking. ‘What’s she talking about? There’s no mess here!’ And you’d be right. Except it’s an illusion.” Victoria snapped her fingers. The room suddenly transformed. Everything was a complete mess. It was like someone unleashed a tornado inside. A few chairs were overturned, a lamp was on its side with a large gash in the wall. Things looked as though they were smashed indiscriminately, like someone was struggling with somebody else in a fight to the death. “Again, I apologize for the mess. It isn’t usually like this but I keep an illusion spell on just in case.”

“Just in case for what?”

“Just in case someone tries breaking in. Look, you guys have locks on your doors but most of you hardly ever use them anyway because there’s practically no crime here in Ponyville at all. Just monster attacks. Like, once a week. Seriously, that’s a little absurd. Being in construction, I make some good money because of it. Still though, it makes me look paranoid but my paranoia did pay off. Someone broke into my house yesterday and activated my traps.”

Fluttershy gasped. “Oh my! Do you know who it was?”

“No. That’s why I said, ‘someone’ instead of… their… name. I forgot where I going with that sentence. Either way, I kept that—you can land now, by the way—spell on and put a bunch of my makeshift caltrops near the door. Whoever came in obviously had this planned because it happened that morning, right after I got back from the market. And yes, I tried asking around to see if anyone saw anything suspicious. No, I did not get any useful answers. But that’s the reason that the house is a mess right now. As soon as they stepped on the caltrops they panicked. They couldn’t see where they were going and so they kept crashing into shit. So I guess that was the only downside to my tactic. Gonna have to remember that.” She shrugged. “Eh, can’t be helped. So, did you need something? Our spa time with Rarity isn’t until this afternoon which is like… two hours away.”

“Well. Um, if it’s not too much trouble I was hoping I could get your advice on the other two humans, particularly Femanon.” Fluttershy sat down on the couch in the room, it was also one of the only unharmed things, designed for Victoria’s size.

“Oh, Adrian and the weird bitchy green chick?”

“Well I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly….”

“Of course you wouldn’t. But yeah, what about ‘em?”

“Do they seem… strange… to you?”

“Considering that the green bitch stormed up to me about six minutes ago, demanding that I, and I quote, ‘Cease all contact with my waifu at once!’ I’d say strange, to say the least.”

“Why would she do that? And what’s a… why… why fu?”

“Fuck if I know. I met the Adrian guy only once. He seemed a little… off. Not sure what to make of him. All I know is that he can use magic, like I can, but I don’t know the extent of his abilities.”

“Did Twilight ever find out how you can use magic without a horn?”

“I told her that I could always use magic, even before I came to magical pony land. But when she tested me she didn’t really listen to what I had to say. She… did… things to me.”

“…. What kind of things?”

Victoria shivered. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Fluttershy was immediately concerned for her friend. “But… I think that’s something that should be known!”

“Okay fine. I can’t tell you because I signed a nondisclosure agreement. I just like saying that she did things to me in an ominus way to make it sound cool.”

Fluttershy narrowed her eyes at Victoria. “You’re not lying to me, are you?”

“No, I swear!”

She was staring at Victoria now. Her eyes widened and they narrowed in even more on their target, staring with a burning intensity that demanded attention.

Victoria froze for a brief second. “What are you doing?” she asked, tilting her head. It appeared as though she was unaffected.

Fluttershy looked away sheepishly. “I uh… was trying to see if you were telling the truth so I used The Stare.”

“I heard about that ability of yours. Trust me. I was just messing around with you. Just… don’t use it again, if you can help it. It was… weird.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“But yeah, no harm done, I guess. Now, what are we going to do about your little problem? I know you said you wanted my advice on those two. And they’ve been bothering me, so I’m going to assume you’ve had some kind of problem with them. So spill. Start at the beginning of when this happened.”

Fluttershy sighed. “It started a few days ago. Right after they were both released from Ponyville Hospital….”

_____Fluttershy was on her way back home, her bags filled with groceries. The streets were mostly empty so she was humming a tune as she trotted along happily.

Which turned into a scream when Femanon jumped at her out of nowhere, shouting, “Hello!” Fluttershy fell to the ground, curled up and hyperventilating. Femanon poked her in the stomach. “Hey… hey, get up! I didn’t mean to scare you. Just want to talk to you, is all!”

The shivering pegasus, who had her wings over herself protectively, gradually folded her wings to reveal Femanon along with the other human, Adrian. And they were both staring and smiling at her creepily. “I, uh… um… o-okay?”

“So….” Femanon leaned in close, her voice sultry. “Can you guess what I’m into?” she finished with a smile.

“Um… n-noooo?”

Femanon’s face became a neutral state. “Really? You’re not even going to try?”

“Try what? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Femanon’s face contorted into a feature that made it appear as if she had just mentally snapped, then into a grimace for a moment, then back to a neutral state, until finally settling on a smile. She stood up straight but not before patting Fluttershy on the head. “That’s okay!” she exclaimed cheerfully. “We’ll see if you can guess next time! I’ll be over to your house to ask you again, soon!”

“Wait, come to my house? You know where I live?”

“Of course we do!” And with that, the two bounded off.

Fluttershy looked at the ground and muttered under her breath. “But I never told them where I lived….”

_____“Sure enough, they showed up at my house.” Fluttershy’s fur bristled with the memory as she shook. “Again, I didn’t have an answer for them. Oh, she seemed so disappointed.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound so bad. So they knew where you live. Not necessarily a huge deal.”

“Perhaps. But they kept showing up again. And again. And again. Almost every other hour.” Fluttershy’s wings twitched and she gestured with her hooves as if she held something. “Plus, they always seemed to find me, no matter where I am or what time.”

“Oh my god,” Victoria stated.

“I know. I also must’ve told them where I live, but I don’t remember ever doing so! I wish I knew what the answer was to their question. Both so they’d stop bothering me and to help them out. If only I actually knew what they were talking about.”

“Really,” Victoria deadpanned.

Fluttershy looked up. “Hmm?”

“That’s what you’re taking away from this situation?” Victoria frowned and crossed her arms. “Seriously, did you even know that you had two stalkers?”

“They’re stalkers?” Fluttershy cocked her head to the side.

“Fluttershy. They knew where you lived without you telling them. That’s not so bad, if just a little creepy. But if they keep finding you no matter what you do…. It pretty much doesn’t matter how they found out, that kind of makes those two stalkers. Did they even tell you how they found out where you live?”

“Well, I did ask them…. They said they already knew but wouldn’t tell me how.”

“Yeah, stalkers.”

“Oh….” Fluttershy glanced at the floor, dangling her hooves in the air as she sat on the couch. “So, what do we do?”

“You ponies have a royal guard. Shouldn’t we contact them in a situation like this?”

Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “Pfft. Like you said, we get monster attacks pretty much weekly. But there’s not even a single battalion — if I’m using that word right — of guards stationed here. At all. We pretty much fend for ourselves.”

“We should at least mention this to Twilight, or the mayor. Maybe they can send word to the Princess and she can at least order some guards to help us out.”

“I’ll let Twilight know about it. Much good it’ll do us.”

Victoria raised an eyebrow. “You sound like you don’t have much faith in these guys. Is there a reason for that?” Fluttershy merely huffed and crossed her forelegs. “Alright then. So… do you have any ideas as to what we do in the meantime? ‘Cause I do.”

“Not really. Let’s hear it.”

“For now, we wait it out and see what they do.”

“…Really?”

“Listen. All we’ve got on them so far is that they’re both creepy as hell, Femanon more so than the other, and they’re stalking you. What would you do?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m here.”

“That reminds me. Why did you come to me for advice?”

“Well, you’re a human… and they’re humans…. I assumed you would know more about how to deal with this”

Victoria sighed and scratched her chin. “I suppose that’s flattering, in a way. Still, though, why didn’t you go to your other friends first? Why not ask them?”

Fluttershy extended a wing and used it to count down as if she had fingers to number off what she was about to say. “Rainbow Dash is busy with some family business elsewhere. Pinkie got called for some secret super party in Manehatten and Applejack went with her. And Twilight is in her library completely absorbed in working on something right now. It must be really important because Spike told me that she’s only come out to eat and then goes right back down into her basement.” She tapped a hoof to her chin. “Although I did talk to Rarity about this first and while she said she wasn’t sure how to help immediately she told me she would figure out something.”

“Wow, what… timing,” Victoria said, disbelief in her voice. She stared at the ceiling as she searched for a response. “Well…” she finally said, “I guess the plan hasn’t really changed that much. We’ll just go about our normal lives and see what they do. But we aren’t going after them, in any way shape or form, either on our own or together, for now. We’ll tempt them to make the first move by visibly hanging out more. See if that gets them riled up. Sound good?” Fluttershy nodded hesitantly. “Alright. We’ll just go to the spa soon and wait for Rarity there.”

“Okay.” They both got up and left the house, Victoria making sure that it was locked and casting a few other spells to alert her of when someone who wasn’t herself, Fluttershy, or Rarity, tried entering.

“And don’t forget to tell Twilight or the Mayor about this.”

“Okay, I got it,” Fluttershy replied abruptly.

“You sure you’ll do it?”

“Yeah. I got it,” she stressed,

Victoria laughed and ruffled Fluttershy’s mane, which she flattened out immediately as soon as Victoria’s hand left her head. “You are just too easy sometimes.”

Fluttershy stared up with a look of indignation. Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed in, possibly, mock anger. Victoria laughed again. She picked up Fluttershy and opted to carry her. And so they went to the spa, with Fluttershy having a look of anger on her face all the while.

_____Three days later there was a knock on Fluttershy’s door. Though, in honesty, it was a bit closer to a banging. So help me if it’s those two again… Fluttershy thought. “Fluttershy, it’s me Victoria. Can I come in?”

This was a pleasant and welcome surprise compared to the alternative. “It’s unlocked!” she called. She would have gotten up to let Victoria in herself, but she was busy bandaging up a squirrel that had a nasty encounter with a hungry everfree hawk.

Victoria stormed in and slammed the door shut, riling up some of the other animals. “That’s it! I’m killing them!”

“What?” Fluttershy asked in disbelief, just as she finished up with the squirrel. She assumed that Victoria was just exaggerating. She looked at her friend and saw that she was sporting a black eye. “Oh my! What happened to you?!”

“Femanon and Adrian happened! Ohhhh they are so in for it!” Victoria gritted her teeth and clenched her fists.

“Why? What happened?”

“Oh nothing. I was just sleeping in my bed last night. Obviously it was my bed, I mean, where else would I sleep?” Fluttershy coughed into her hoof. “Right, sorry. Anyway, so I was just trying to catch some sleep when….”

_____Victoria awoke with a start. She forgot to disable her spell from a couple of days ago and it had activated. She looked at the time. Not even past four in the fucking morning. Better see who it is, I guess. She considered otherwise when she realized that the spell was warning her that the intruders were at her bedroom window. Not the front door or anywhere near the first floor.

She rolled to the floor and cast an illusion, making a perfect copy of herself appear in the bed. The only way to tell it wasn’t real was to touch it because your hand would pass through. She snuck into the closet as quickly as she could and waited. It was time to see who it was, though she had a sneaking suspicion she already knew who it could be.

A bipedal figured stumbled through her window, so definitely Adrian or Femanon. It got up and stalked over to the bed, and there was a faint gleaming from a knife reflecting what little light there was. Victoria rushed forward. “Surprise, motherfucker!” It was only then that she realized… she didn’t have a weapon. The intruder let out a feminine yelp as Victoria tackled her, sending them both tumbling to the ground. Victoria made sure to knock the knife out of Femanon’s hand first.

They both wrestled. Femanon was surprisingly strong and managed to position herself on top. She punched Victoria in the side of the head, stunning her for a second and bolted for the window. Victoria was having none of that and managed to wrap her arms around Femanon’s legs, sending her to the floor once more. Femanon wriggled and managed to get a leg free and she used that opportunity to kick her opponent in the nose.

Victoria let go and clutched her nose. She was pretty sure it would be bleeding in a few seconds but she could worry about that later. Unfortunately, that small window of opportunity was all Femanon needed to get back up and jump out the window. Victoria rushed over and saw that both Femanon and Adrian were running like bats out of hell, with Adrian carrying a ladder. “Yeah you better run!” Victoria shouted after them. They moved so fast that they were quickly out of sight, leaving Victoria as the only eyewitness. “When I get my hands on you two you are so fucking dead! You hear me you little shits?!”

The lights in other houses turned on. “Keep it down out there!”

Another neighbor called out, “Go to bed!”

“You go to bed!" Victoria responded. "This doesn’t involve you! You don’t know what’s going on so mind your own damn business!”

“Some of us are trying to sleep!”

“So was I! Shut your whore mouth!” Victoria shouted back.

“What’d you just say?”

“I said shut your whore mouth! Wanna fight about it?”

“Yeah I wanna fight about it!”

“Oh you wanna go?!”

“Go where!?”

“Outside! We fight outside, shithead!”

“Okay!”

“Yeah I’ll meet you out there!”

_____“And so the two of us resolved our little conflict peacefully and without incident,” Victoria deadpanned. “Oh, and, for the record,” she pointed to her black eye, “I got this in the fight with Femanon. Totally not because I got punched in the face by a very large earth pony because I got into a fight with him. Who also just happens to be living right next to me. I have no problem with him. Nope.”

Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “Well, obviously your plan worked. We hung out more and they got angry enough at you. This is serious now. What do we do now? Any ideas?”

“You know the way in and out of the Everfree. I bet if you invited them to explore with you and you just so happen to run across a pack of timberwolves or a manticore or two—”

“No.” Fluttershy’s ears folded back as she frowned, unamused.

“There’s some poisonous plants—”

“No.”

“If I could just borrow your bear—”

“No! What do you even need Harry for anyway?”

“Uh, duh. He’s a bear. I bet if I somehow managed to slather some honey on the two of them he’d totally go for it. The real trick is getting them to stay still….”

“We are not killing anypony!”

“Good, that makes this easier because they aren’t ponies.”

“Victoria! We aren’t killing anybody!”

“They tried to kill me too! Besides, it would solve so many problems!” she wailed.

“No! No killing!”

“Fffffiiineee.”

“You promise?”

“Yes.”

“Pinkie promise.”

“Fi-wait. You don’t have pinkies, how you supposed to do that?”

Fluttershy’s eyebrow slowly cocked upwards. “…What?”

“You know. A pinkie promise? A human locks their littlest finger, called the pinkie finger, with another human’s pinkie finger and they say ‘pinkie promise’ and that’s it. I don’t even know how you knew about that anyway.”

“That’s not what a pinkie promise is.”

“Yes it is.”

“No, this is a pinkie promise.” She went through the necessary motions to demonstrate to Victoria the holy ritual of a pinkie promise. “Now you do it.” There was silence. “Well?”

“I’m not doing that.”

“Victoria.”

“No.”

“You promised!”

“Yes, I did promise. That should be good enough.”

“Well pinkie promise.”

“It’s unnecessary. I shouldn’t have to do that.”

“Victoria.”

“No.”

“Do it.”

“No!”

“Just do the pinkie promise!”

“No, I will not do the pinkie promise!”

“Victoria,” Fluttershy said through gritted teeth.

“Fine! Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. There, you happy?”

She nodded. Victoria crossed her arms and pouted. “Well,” Fluttershy began, “any ideas on what to do now?” Victoria opened her mouth to say something but was beaten to it. “That doesn’t involve violence as the core aspect?”

“Fine. But you’re really tying my hands here. I do have one idea though….”

_____I can’t believe we’re doing this. Fluttershy wore a large sun hat, sunglasses, a scarf, and a hastily selected dress from Rarity to disguise herself. She was sitting at a table, inconspicuously. Totally inconspicuous.

In the meantime, Victoria had seen fit to cast a spell to make herself invisible.

“So you remember the plan?” The human whispered in Fluttershy’s ears, thankfully. It would be strange indeed for anyone to notice that the air itself was speaking.

“Stay out here and watch to make sure the coast is clear for you go to into Femanon’s house. Then I squish this blue crystal to let you know the coast is clear. If Femanon comes back then I crush this red crystal you gave me. If you manage to get out without anyone noticing, you’ll head back to your house so that no one will find it odd if you randomly come out of a bathroom when they never saw you go in.”

“Good. Good. I’ll be waiting by her house. Watch my back.” There was a faint shuffling of feet and Victoria was off.

They waited patiently for ten minutes until Femanon finally left her house. She was checking her surroundings constantly, obviously on the lookout for something. Once Fluttershy knew it was safe, she smashed the blue crystal. The door to Femanon’s house opened for a split second then closed, and no one else was the wiser.

Now all she had to do was wait and watch.

_____Victoria picked through the house, looking for something that might help them, but also careful not to disturb anything. She didn’t know how aware Femanon would be if things were out of place. So Victoria decided to play it safe and just assume that she’d notice if a chair was shifted slightly.

Along with some of the other rooms, she’d already checked the basement, which didn’t have a lock, oddly but thankfully enough. The only things down there were just barrels. All of which were sealed or at least locked in some way. Can’t open those or Femanon would immediately suspect me. She has enough reason to hate me in her mind. So she went upstairs, to the master bedroom. Unlike the others, this door did have a lock but it was simple to pick, thankfully allowing her to conserve precious energy. She would just have to remember to lock it again before she left.

Victoria was using an alternate version of the traditional invisibility spell she had learned long ago that allowed her to use it for extremely long periods of time. But this had the downside of using up a lot of energy to cast it initially. Only after this was all said and done would she know if it was the good call to use this specific spell for this situation.

Hindsight is twenty—holy shit. Victoria immediately regretted entering the room. There were pictures of Fluttershy EVERYWHERE, and pictures of Victoria with red X’s all drawn on them. That was creepy enough in and of itself. No, the worst was the random objects strewn about that had obviously been… used in various ways.

That’s just nasty, she thought as she stepped over everything, being careful to absolutely not touch anything. Not because she didn’t want Femanon to notice but because she didn’t want to have to burn any articles of clothing that came into contact with… those things. She already felt like a shower was justified as soon as she had the chance.

After looking around some more, she found a potential prize. There was a book on a vanity with a quill next to it. Hopefully it was a journal. She opened the book and found to her satisfaction that it was indeed what she had hoped for. Since it hadn’t been very long that both of the new humans had been in Equestria there weren’t many entries. The ponies are a bit too trusting and nice to just give Femanon and Adrian their own houses. Though I don’t know if I can or should complain. They did the same for me. She mused idly as she took out a quill and ink then read through the journal.

Except, in actuality, she only skimmed through it. But what she did see was enough to be unnerving. She told herself it wasn’t that important to read any of it now. This bitch has problems. Just need to use the transcription spell and copy everything that I can. Then I am out of here. The spell didn’t take that long and she had made sure to copy everything. That done, she got out of the house after being meticulous about putting everything back exactly as she had found it.

For the first time ever since this whole ordeal had come about, things were finally starting to go their way.

_____When Victoria finally came back she plopped into the chair next to Fluttershy, who was still watching the house. She jumped and squeaked at the sudden intrusion. When she saw her friend she was immediately concerned. She was visibly unharmed but the woman was just looking ahead with a thousand yard stare.

“V-Vict… Victoria?” Fluttershy muttered.

“Yes.” There was no emotion in the response.

“Are you… oka—”

“I’ve seen some shit, man.”

“Um… should we go back to your place or… um….”

“Yeah… yeah.”

She looked at her friend for a moment more. “Maybe I should have gone in there with you.”

That definitely livened Victoria up more. “No. No no no no nooooo. There was… it’s just…. Let’s head back to my place.”

“Okay.”

And so they both met up at Victoria’s home.

_____The two sat on the couch, silently staring at the wall.

It was Fluttershy who spoke first. “I have…” she said shakily, “seen… things…. And….” She buried her head in her hooves.

Her companion nodded. “And?”

“And I don’t know how to feel about it, quite yet.”

Victoria threw her hands in the air. “Can we try revulsion? That seems like a good start.”

“That is a word I’d use, yes.” She pointed a hoof at the replicated journal. “So… what do we do now? I mean… if you’re willing to help, that is.”

“Fluttershy….” Victoria sighed. “I’m involved in this as much as you are. So I’m not leaving you to deal with this on your own.”

“Thank you.” She hugged Victoria, who returned the affection.

They broke their embrace after a few moments. Victoria picked up the notes and flipped to a specific section. “Aside from everything else being disturbing, I believe the only thing we actually have to worry about is this.” It was Femanon’s latest entry. She had detailed plans for getting Fluttershy into a bar then drugging her and… neither of them wanted to think about the rest. And she had planned to do it tomorrow. “I think if we gave this to the royal guard, they’d have to do something about it. Then again….”

“We did acquire the evidence by breaking into someone else’s house. And I’m not sure if they’d accept this as valid anyway.”

“Wait a minute. You did at least try to let Twilight know about this, right?”

Fluttershy hesitated for a second and thought back to two days ago. “Uh….”

_____Fluttershy pushed open the door to the Golden Oak Library and peeked her head through. “Um… Twilight? Are you in here?” She remembered that this was a public library so she let herself in. “Twilight?” she called again, this time a little louder. Which, because it’s Fluttershy, means she only raised her voice by two decibels.

“I’m down here!” Twilight’s voice sounded off from the basement.

She walked closer but did not enter the basement. “Um… can I talk to you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure.” If Twilight was busy….

“Um… now, if that’s okay with you.”

“I’m a little busy right now but I’ll be there in a minute.”

Yep, just as she’d figured. Twilight was still in her ‘I’m busy with something amazing’ state. Good thing she’d planned ahead. “Well, I see you’re busy. I’m just going to leave this note on this table, here. Near the door. To the library, that is.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll get the eggs later….” Yep, definitely busy.

After leaving the note, Fluttershy left the library and nearly bumped into Rarity.

“Hello darling!” she greeted cheerfully.

“Oh, hello, Rarity. Do you need to speak to Twilight?”

“Oh no. I just need a book. Why? Is she still in another one of her, ah… moods?” Fluttershy nodded. “Well, good thing I didn’t need to talk to her right away! I’ll see you later, darling.”

“You too, Rarity.”

_____“Yes. I left her a message two days ago.”

Victoria sighed. “Two days, and she’s done nothing about this as of yet. So we’re basically on our own. Again.” Fluttershy nodded. “Well. I know one way to do this.”

“I have a feeling I’m probably not going to like this…” she muttered.

_____This may be the stupidest thing I’ll ever do… but it’ll be so worth it, Victoria thought. It was the next day and the duo’s plan had been set into motion.

Victoria, through the study of some spells from one of Twilight’s personal spellbooks that she had… appropriated from the librarian, was monitoring Fluttershy’s every move via a mental link. She would guide Fluttershy throughout the situation and make sure she stayed safe. Meanwhile, Victoria herself would remain camouflaged outside the window of the bar, since it was unnecessary to go completely invisible during the night. That way, Fluttershy could act normally without making Femanon aware that the duo were onto her and Victoria could react to things that her partner would miss.

So far, Femanon had not made her move to drug Fluttershy and seemed perfectly content with just making idle, if uncomfortable, conversation. “Oh our lives will be so wonderful together!” the psychopath exclaimed happily.

“I… um….”

‘Go on! You have to play along just a little longer!’ Victoria shouted in the scared mare’s head.

“Yes… yes of course…” Fluttershy stumbled with her words, “that… is a… thing.”

The dumb bitch squeed. “I’m going to go get us some drinks! Wait right here!” Then Femanon bounded off happily.

‘Fluttershy, this is our chance!’

‘I don’t feel comfortable with this.’

‘I know. I’m looking at her right now, I can see which drink she just spiked. Alright, when she comes back, make up some kind of excuse to get the both of you to the bathroom or something, anything. Once you do that, I’ll use my telekinesis to switch around the drinks. It won’t take me more than ten seconds. Can you do that?’

‘I… I’ll try.’

‘Good! Because she’s coming back.’

Fluttershy screamed internally. She wasn’t ready for this! “I brought the driiinks!~” She looked at Fluttershy, who appeared very nervous. “Is something wrong?”

“I… um….” What does she do? What does she do?! It needs to be clever, but not draw too much attention. She just needed to do—“I NEED YOUR HELP IN THE BATHROOM BECAUSE I HAVE A TUMMY ACHE!”—the exact opposite of what she just did. As soon as she noticed that she shouted that out loud she went very red in the face, even more so when the other patrons stared at her. If it weren’t for the fact that it’d probably blow her cover, Victoria would be banging her head on the window right now. She instead settled for burying her face in her hands. Fluttershy no….

“Of course! Let’s go right now you poor thing!” Femanon whispered with as much urgency as she could and whisked the poor whimpering pegasus away.

That worked…? That worked!? No! Don’t question it, you’ve got a job to do. She reached out with her powers towards the drinks, imagining beads of sweat dripping down her face in intense concentration…. And switched the two glasses. Truly a titanic feat of effort.

‘Fluttershy you’re good to go!’

‘I don’t want to go out….’

‘Come on, all you need to do now is drink the drinks!’ She didn’t know that it was possible to whimper through a mental connection but somehow Fluttershy managed it. ‘Listen, it wasn’t that bad and everyone else is minding their own business now. It’s done and over with and they’ve forgotten about it. Just say it was a false alarm.’

‘Okay….’

Victoria watched as Fluttershy made her excuses to Femanon and they both went to their original spots. After that it was time for the moment of truth. Femanon drank the spiked drink she had intended for Fluttershy. The effects were noticeable quickly. She became slightly sluggish at first, taking her time to react to anything and everything. After a minute of conversation she was outright lethargic. Another thirty seconds and she collapsed.

The other patrons looked at the downed human with alarm. The bartender was particularly concerned. Victoria guided Fluttershy on what to say and had her offer to make sure that Femanon arrived home safely. When they got to her house Fluttershy suggested bringing her inside but Victoria reminded her what Femanon had planned. They left her outside the front door.

The plan went swimmingly, all things considered.

_____Fluttershy was currently tending to her animals. It had been only two days since the night at the bar and the day after neither Fluttershy nor Victoria had any trouble with the other two humans. But she still wasn’t surprised to see the both of them walking up to her cottage. They were both very annoying at this point. Not to mention persistent.

Victoria had actually met up with Fluttershy today. But she was still inside the cottage for the moment, making lunch. Fluttershy took a deep breath as they got closer, smiles on their faces. She could do this on her own. No, not only that, she had to stand up for herself. After all, no means no. Right? She just had to explain that she was busy. That wasn’t a lie. It was a legitimate reason as of this moment.

“Hello, Fluttershy!” Adrian said. Femanon parroted him.

“Yes, hello you two,” Fluttershy responded, then went back to her work.

“Hey, we were both wondering if you’d come over to Adrian’s place for some fun!” Femanon exclaimed happily.

“I’m sorry but I can’t. I have these cute critters to take care of right now.” She tickled a squirrell under its chin with a smile on her face.

“Oh they can wait!” Femanon waved a hand in dismissal. The animals just stared at her in open hostility which she either ignored or was oblivious to.

“No, it can’t.”

“Sure it can!”

“But—”

“Come on!”

“I—”

“You’ll—”

“Stop!” Fluttershy shouted. Femanon looked confused for a second. Fluttershy sighed. “You’re both being very intrusive right now and I have some animals to take care of. Could you please let me get to work?”

That didn’t seem to please Adrian one bit. “What is the matter with you?! We’ve both been so patient and understanding!”

“No, you haven’t!” Fluttershy flew at eye level with the man. “You’ve both been hounding me day after day almost nonstop. Always asking me strange questions, some of which I think are probably not the kind you’d ask somepony unless you’ve been dating them for a while!”

“Well… we’re supposed to be together!”

Fluttershy facehooved. “And… why… would you think that? I barely know either of you.”

Femanon’s eyes narrowed while Adrian’s brain attempted to process what it could not compute. He could only come up with one logical (in his mind that is) outcome. “You… you’re not the Element of Kindness!” As if that was meant to be some great ultimatum.

Fluttershy just sighed. “I’m… not… I’m not going to get into this right now. Later today I have plans with Rarity and Victoria for—”

That definitely set off Adrian. “Our competition?” What in the world…. “We’ve been doing everything that we can to steal you away from her! What’s she got that we don’t? Why do you love her more?”

“She’s just a—” Fluttershy caught herself. This could be the perfect opportunity! If the two thought that Fluttershy would only hang out with Victoria and consider her as a… potential significant other, then maybe they’d leave her alone! It’s foolproof! “I meaaan… yes! I, um… value her more… because… she… um… gave me a… wonderful gift! Yes!”

Of course, the problem with Fluttershy’s plan is that this is Equestria. And thus, everything runs on cartoon logic and physics whenever it likes.

“…. Really?” they both responded in disbelief.

“Yep!” Fluttershy turned them both around started shooing them away. “That means you don’t need to waste your time bothering—I mean—courting me anymore! I’m so sorry if I gave you the wrong ideas! We should just put this behind us….”

“Show us the gift,” Femanon stated flatly.

“What?”

“You heard her,” Adrian piped in. “We want to see it. I can guarantee you that we can make a gift that is infinitely more deserving of your attention. And why wouldn’t we see you around with it, then?”

“Oh, I, um, you see… the thing is…. I don’t want to get it dirty, or ruined!”

“Then just show it to us just this once.” Fluttershy had stopped ushering them away at this point, allowing Adrian and Femanon to turn around and face her. “Unless you’re lying.”

This was true. She was lying. Now all she had to do was just tell the truth, and tell them to get lost. Instead she said, “I’ll go get it right away then!” Yes, Fluttershy, that’s the perfect solution.

She went back inside her cottage. “Hey, Fluttershy!” Victoria greeted from in the kitchen.

“Hi, Victoria,” Fluttershy said back. She fidgeted in place in a panic. What could she use? There was nothing Victoria had actually given her as a gift that would be significant, ever. She looked around the house for something, anything. Her frantic search finally resulted in her eyes landing on one thing that could be perfect. Sitting on the couch was Victoria’s jacket.

That jacket was Victoria’s favorite. Not to the extent that she was obsessed with protecting it. In fact, if one were to ask her, she would gladly allow someone to borrow it as long as it was returned intact… or returned at all. She certainly wasn’t going to throw a fit if there was a stain or two. However, it was her favorite, nonetheless.“Hey, Victoria,” Fluttershy called.

“Yeah?”

“Can I borrow your jacket for a few minutes?”

“Sure! No problem. Just give it back after a while, ya know?”

“Thank you!” She flew to the couch then picked it up and put it on. She was about to go outside when she realized something. The jacket had no holes for her wings. That would be nonsensical and useless to give to a pegasus if they couldn’t use their wings. Not to mention in this case it would be a little suspicious.

Fluttershy pranced up to her room. There wasn’t enough time to really make the actual hole professionally so she had to make do… and hope that Victoria didn’t hear the ripping sounds. Once she was inside her room she pushed with her wings. Through the power of cartoon physics she ripped holes in the jacket with ease. It would have to do. She used her wings to zip up the jacket and put up the hoodie. It was actually quite comfortable.

She went outside and Victoria was none the wiser. She walked up to the two humans and showed them her ‘gift.’ They were not pleased and completely bought the story. Unfortunately, they ran off shouting that they’d make Victoria pay dearly for her transgressions. Somehow.

They had shouted so loud that it drew Victoria’s attention and she came outside as soon as they had left. “What was that about?” she asked.

“Um….”

Victoria looked down at her friend and stared at her, noticing the holes in her favorite jacket. “Fluttershy,” she calmed stated.

“Yes?”

“Did you make holes for your wings in my jacket,” she deadpanned.

“Y-yes.”

“Why.” Fluttershy explained the situation. Victoria sighed and rubbed her temples. “Well… that’s probably not the worst way this could have gone down. I’ll go to Rarity and have her fix it up eventually. Lunch is ready, by the way.”

“Oh! Thank you so much!”

“Yep, just how you like it. I’ll be taking my jacket back now, I want to go to Rarity’s and tell her I want it fixed up. You go on ahead and eat up and I’ll be right back, okay?”

She nodded, removed the jacket and went inside. Just then Victoria noticed the other two humans come back. Oh shit, why now?

“You!” they both exclaimed.

“Me!”

“What are you doing here and why do you have Fluttershy’s gift?!”

“Because this jacket… needs to be looked at by Rarity! And I’m here because… uh.” Gotta distract em! “Uh… because… because I was giving her the sex!” Why, Victoria? Why? That was the worst thing she could have done.

She wasn’t even aware that she could move that fast when they chased her. One second she was standing outside, the next she had the door closed and locked and they were pounding on it. Fluttershy was immediately at the scene. “What’s going on?” she asked, worried.

“I may or may have not have said something to piss off Adrian and Femanon!” They both heard the door unlock. How did they—oh… right. Adrian has magic, too. They rushed to the door and pulled on it to keep it closed while the other two humans reciprocated. It was then that the two friends remembered something else. The door swung both outwards and inwards. For some reason.

This was especially noticeable when during the tug of war contest the door was in favor of the defenders, and the opposing side took advantage of this immediately once they saw this. They pushed with all their might, catching the two off their guard and knocking them to the ground. They nearly got to Victoria until Fluttershy covered her with her own body, saying, “Nuuuuuuuuuuu,” in defiance.

They both stopped and clutched their chests as they suffered minor heart attacks from the adorable display. Just then royal guards landed outside the cottage, shouting, “Get down on the ground get down on the ground!”

“What is going on?!” Victoria and Fluttershy shouted to no one in particular.

The guards tackled Femanon and Adrian. There were some things about rights and some resistance which resulted in the two humans getting tazed by unicorns and eventually taken away. Outside there were many royal guards and Rarity ran up and hugged her two friends. “Oh I was so worried about you two!” Rarity said.

“Rarity?” Fluttershy asked. “How did… what?”

“Oh, I called the royal guard after I saw your message in Twilight’s library. When I read it I knew what needed to be done and I of course just had to come and help you, darlings!”

“But… did Twilight ever read the message?” Victoria asked, Rarity finally releasing the two from the embrace.

“Oh, I don’t believe she did. Nopony has seen her come outside of the library for days, actually.”

The guards explained the situation. After being called by Rarity they had launched an investigation by order of Celestia herself since an Element of Harmony was involved. Turns out that they found actual plans in Adrian’s house to murder Victoria and even Fluttershy if he couldn’t have her. They refused to talk about what they found in Femanon’s place, only saying that they had seen some shit. Victoria got her jacket sent to Rarity to get it fixed. When the guards got the story from Fluttershy and Victoria, Femanon and Adrian were sent to jail. In Canterlot. Inside the mountain.

Apparently threatening and harassing an Element of Harmony is a huge deal. Oh, and there was the whole attempted murder on Victoria thing but no one cares about that.

Author's Note

It’s a weird story, I know. Check out my other stories, I guess.

But not To Avert A War. That story is bad.

This story taught me a few things. One is that, while very fun and entertaining for myself, I’m probably not very skilled in writing one-shots. Also, when trying to adhere to something specific... I’m probably not very good at that either. Like, I had planned to make this about 4k words, max. But we ended up with about double that. Man.

If you see any mistakes, let me know. Like… typo-wise.

In the end, I’m glad I finally got around to finishing this story. Now I can work on other things like I planned because I vowed to get this story out first before working on anything else.

Edit: I forgot to include this earlier, oops. But one reason I was inspired to write this fic was because of this little blog right here, and, as I said before, because I wanted to make a gift to make someone happy.