Turmoil in my mind

by midnight sorrow

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy
Length: 1566

Rainbow Dash is loyal and protective of her friends but even loyalty can prevent mistakes.

Mistakes happen, no matter how small or tall you are. No matter how young or old or how experienced you are or claim to be, mistakes happen. Something Rainbow Dash can't wrap her head around. she is the best the fastest and yet it wasn't enough and now, she's face to face with her biggest regret, her biggest failure her mind is in turmoil.

Published 2024-02-23 20:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-23 20:00:00 UTC

in the darkness I stood

"Shoulder to shoulder hip to hip show them that we'll never split, cross our hooves and soar up high, show them that our friendship will never die!"~

Pain, that's what Rainbow dash was feeling, an unholy undying pain. Swelling and swerling around in her head like thunderous waves crashing into all corners of her mind. Dash hissed at the pain, as she brought her forhoove to her head trying to rub the pain away.

"Ow, m-my head." Dash said groggily as she slowly opened her eyes. Darkness, that what greated her, no trees, no cloudy sky, not even the grass itself. Slowly on shakey hooves Rainbow Dash stood up and gazed out into the darkness. "Were am I,"why is it so dark." she said as she scand the area for something familiar to recognize.

"So your finally awake," came a voice from behind Rainbow Dash.

"W-what!?" Rainbow said Startled by the voice as she quickly spun around only to see a shadowy figure staring back at her. No, not staring glaring at her."Who are you, what do you want?" Dash asked with a hint of fear in her voice.

"You look a little beat up Rainbow Dash," said the figure as it slowly stepped out of the shadows towards Dash, her delicate form emerging like a wisp of moonlight in the dim expanse.Her pastel yellow coat seems to glow softly, accentuated by the gentle sway of her mane, a cascade of pale pink and buttery hues. Each step she takes is a study in grace, her movements as light and airy as a butterfly's dance. Her eyes, usually pools of tranquility, now hold a quiet intensity that made Rainbow wince back in guilt and shame. Though her gaze is tender, it burdened and brought turmoil to Dashes mind.As she approaches, the soft timbre of her voice carries on the air, a once soothing melody that brought calmness and joy to all that heard it, now monotone and dull. Her every words once laced with empathy and understanding, now emotionless and cruel.

"F-Fluttershy I --" Rainbow Dash voice faded mid sentence with trembling lips and shifting eyes, unable to look at her she shift her eyes to stare at Fluttershys hooves.

"What's the matter Dash can't look at me?" Rainbow fell silent unable to lift her gaze to meet Fluttershy eye's, instead Rainbow Dash stood still and kept staring at the hooves of her beloved friend.

"LOOK - AT - ME!"Fluttershy practically shouted under her clenched teeth, which made Rainbow Dash recoil in fear under Fluttershy unwavering gaze. Slowly but hesitantly Dash lifted her gaze up only to stop as she saw the cause of all her turmoil, all her guilt and shame. There at the start of her neck all the way up little past the left side of her mouth was a scar far to big to hide. Rainbow Dash stood face to face with the scarred figure of Fluttershy, her mind reeled with guilt and self-doubt.

"you - are - not - real."Rainbow said in a trembling voice as she shook her head unable to take her eyes of of her best friend's scarred face.The spectral form before her bore the visage of her gentle friend, yet its eyes held a haunting accusation that cut through Rainbow Dash's soul like a razor-sharp wind.

"I may not be real Rainbow Dash, but that doesn't take away from the fact that you failed her and because of you she is forever changed, you let me down, Rainbow," the ethereal Fluttershy whispered, her voice a chilling echo of the real Fluttershy's gentle tones. "You were too busy chasing your own dreams to care about what really mattered." Rainbow Dash winced at the words, they tore through her mind with each syllable like a knife carving deep wounds into her conscience. The memories of moments overlooked and promises unfulfilled surged forth like a relentless tide, threatening to drown her in a sea of remorse.

"I tried to be there for you," Rainbow Dash protested, her voice trembling with remorse her body trembling."I just... I didn't know or realize how much I took our friendship for granted." she said looking up at Fluttershy with teary eyes and a guilty smile.The apparition of Fluttershy remained unmoved, its gaze piercing through Rainbow Dash's defenses. Fluttershy growled through her clenched teeth.

"You were so focused on being the best, on reaching the highest heights, that you forgot about the ponies around you, the ponies who stood beside you!" It spat with venom in its voice. "You forgot about me!" Tears weld up in Rainbow Dash's eyes as the weight of her own neglect bore down upon her like a crushing weight. She had always prided herself on her loyalty and bravery, but now, faced with the specter of her own failings, she felt utterly exposed.

"I never meant for you to get hurt," Rainbow Dash choked out, her voice strained with anguish. "I never meant for any of this to happen." Rainbow started sobbing as she looked down her tears fell to the ground next to her trembling hooves.

The apparition of Fluttershy wavered, its form flickering like a candle in a gusty breeze. "Maybe not," it murmured, as it slowly started to walk around her as Dash was still unable to look her way. "But for somone that prides themselves as the fastest one around, you always seem to be a little to late when it matters doesn't it,Rainbow.

" SHUT UP!" Rainbow Dash yelled finally able to rip her gaze from her hooves and turn to glare at the visage of her long time friend.Rainbow Dash's mind raced, its her fault -- if she was fast enough-- if she had kept a closer eye on her this wouldn't of happened. How can she call herself Fluttershy's friend if she couldn't even protect her. Dash's heart raced her body ached and her stomach felt nauseous she felt like she was going to vomit. she was not good enough, she failed her friends she was a useless piece of--

"Do you, hate yourself that much?"Dash froze, she looked toward the familiar voice where the apparition of Fluttershy once was, now stood a spectral of herself, an exhausted beaten up version of Rainbow Dash.

"w - what, I thought--?" said Rainbow Dash as she stared blankly at the apparition of herself. It looked sickly, like it has been through Tartarus and back so beat up and tired it made Rainbow Dashs heart sink.

"Is it possible that you, are taking this too far,Has it crossed you mind that blaming yourself is causing more harm to your friends and family," it said as it slowly started to limp toward her. "Me-me-me, your still think about yourself, how you fear what they will think about you. what you should be think about is how they feel not you." Dash stood there unable to utter another word as it walked past her just to stop a couple hooves away from her but not turning around to look at Rainbow.

"Celestia damn it, my other self is right, Im only making things worse by blaming and distancing myself from my friends and family. Im only making them more worried about me." Rainbow Dash said digging her forhoove into the ground as her face darkened with a scowl.

"Let it go rainbow Dash, stop punishing yourself over something you couldn't prevent, it was an accident Rainbow, time to move on and forgive yourself. Go talk to fluttershy, she is worried." her apparition slowly started limping further into the darkness.

"O-Ok," Rainbow Dash said as she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.wiping away tears Rainbow smiled and turned around to look at her spectral form. the spectral stopped walking and turned to look at Rainbow its image starting to flicker and fade its tired gaze replaced by a solemn smile.

"I believe in you, Rainbow," it whispered vanishing into the void leaving Rainbow Dash alone in the dim darkness.
Rainbow Dash crumpled to the ground, her sobs echoing through the darkness. In that moment of vulnerability, she found herself grappling with the harsh truths laid bare by the apparitions of her and dear friend. It was a reckoning she couldn't evade, a confrontation with the deepest recess of her own heart. As her tears subsided and a steely resolve took root within her, Rainbow Dash woke from her nightmarish slumber she knew she had to make a mends with her friends and family most of all Fluttershy. She had to show Fluttershy that she valued their bonds more than anything in the world. With a renewed determination, she spread her wings and took to the moonlit sky, guided by a newfound strength and understanding of herfriendship Rainbow began to sing a nursery rhyme that her friends and her sang when they where young.

"Shoulder to shoulder hip to hip show them that we'll never split, cross our hooves and soar up high, show them that our friendship will never die!"~

Author's Note

Took way too long to figure this out, here's hoping I did it right this time. I corrected some sentences and stuff like that but it's still up to big boss to see if it get published fingers crossed I almost gave up on it.