The Sour Sweet First Date

by Nico-Stone Rupan

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, Second Person, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Starlight Glimmer, Romance, Self Insert, Equestria Girls, Sour Sweet
Length: 1618

Sour Sweet tells the Crusaders the tale of her first date with you.

After Sweetie Belle agrees to go out with Button Mash, Sour Sweet is asked by the Crusaders to tell them the story of how her romance with you all started... and they won't be satisfied with just, "I was a b*tch and ruined the whole thing. The End.”

(My second featured story! - 4/8/16)

Published 2016-04-08 04:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-08 04:10:01 UTC

Chapter 1: Hot for Mash

Author's Note

This is a flashback story recounting the date Sour Sweet ordered “You” on at the end of Sour ‘n Sweet ‘n Pretty, the events of which also had a passing mention in Sour Sweet, the Christmas Parade Critic. Just thought maybe I should fill in the gap.

As always, when Sour Sweet’s dialogue is presented in italics she’s sweet, in bold she’s sour, and in plain type she’s normal.

Chapter 1: Hot for Mash

Sour Sweet struggled to balance herself as the cumbersome Ahuizotl mask covered her head and weighed down on her shoulders. She would have very much preferred to star as Daring Do in the Crusaders’ fan film, but Scootaloo insisted on being the lead. Naturally, the motivation was to impress Rainbow Dash by portraying her favorite character. Someday, Sour Sweet felt, Scootaloo would have to come to terms with some certain feelings of hers.

“Just where is Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo complained, trying for the umpteenth time to adjust her black and grey wig and explorer’s hat. “We could have been finished filming the epic climax by now!”

“Ah wouldn’t really call it an ‘epic climax’, Scoots,” Apple Bloom said as she flipped through the script. “Daring Do just shows up, kicks Ahuizotl into a lake of lava, and that’s it? No extended, suspenseful show down? No stakes? Couldn’t ya have come up with anything more?”

“I like how the movie ends,” Sour Sweet chimed in, raising her voice so it could be heard under the way-too-dense rubber. “It makes it so I don’t have to wear this stupid thing for very long!”

“Need I remind you guys that we are on a limited budget?” Scootaloo defended.

“We got no budget,” Apple Bloom reminded back. “We’re filmin’ in yer garage fer cryin’ out loud.”

“We did have enough for the lake of lava,” Sour Sweet pointed out, lightly kicking the kiddie pool full of cherry Jell-O to make it jiggle.

At that moment, Sweetie Belle finally walked up to the garage. Her head was down, but not in any visible distress. It was more like she was deep in thought.

“Sweetie, where have you been all morning?!” Scootaloo barked.

“Sorry, guys,” Sweetie Belle said, rubbing the back of her neck while still gazing down. “I got a little distracted on the way here.”

“Aw, that’s alright,” Apple Bloom said, turning on the camera. “Let’s get ta work, y'all.”

“Uh, actually, can we talk for a moment?” Sweetie Belle asked, looking up at them with a faint blush across her cheeks. “I need some advice.”

Sour Sweet heaved the mask off. “Haven’t we had enough delays on this shoot? If I had one, I’d storm off to my trailer.”

“What is it, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo asked, impatiently.

“I, um, sort of agreed to go out on a date with Button Mash,” Sweetie Belle admitted.

“Excuse me?” Scootaloo asked in disbelief.

“On my way here, I spotted Button Mash at Sugarcube Corner so I went in to say hi. Well, one thing led to another and he asked if we could go get lunch together tomorrow.”

“Well, Ah’ll be!” Apple Bloom cheered as she went over to give a friendly slap on Sweetie Belle’s back. “It’s about time y'all two finally noticed the sparks flyin’.”

“Did Button Mash really ask you on a date, Sweetie?” Scootaloo asked, skeptically. “I doubt ol’ goofball gamer even knows what one is.”

Sweetie Belle stomped her foot in a huff. “Well, okay, maybe he does think of it as just hanging out with a friend, but darn it, I’m sure going to treat it as going out!”

Scootaloo shook her head. “I honestly don’t know what you see in that dork.”

Sweetie Belle shrugged. “I just think he’s cute in his own immature way.”

Sour Sweet went over and put her arm around Sweetie Belle’s shoulder. “The heart wants what the heart wants. My boyfriend certainly wasn’t going by his brain when he wanted to date me.”

“I actually wanted to ask you about that, Sour Sweet,” Sweetie Belle said. “I’ve never went out with anyone before. I’m not sure what to expect or do or anything. Can I ask what your first date was like?”

“Yeah, just how did yer epic romance begin?” Apple Bloom asked.

“You know, I’m kind of curious myself,” Scootaloo joined in.

Sour Sweet waved her hand dismissively. “You really wouldn't learn much from that disaster of a night, Sweetie.”

“I'd still like to know what happened,” Sweetie Belle insisted, looking up at Sour Sweet with puppy dog eyes. “Please?”

“Alright, alright…” Sour Sweet sighed in defeat. “Gather around, girls. Sour’s got a stupid tale of first love, salad forks, and communism for ya…”

****************

SEVERAL MONTHS AGO…

Sour Sweet brushed her long hair while self-consciously staring at herself in the mirror. He said that he wanted to see it all let down. Well, he was getting it. Would he actually like it this way, though?

She abruptly gritted her teeth. “Why am I caring so much about what some BOY thinks about my hair for?!” She sighed. “Because he has real feelings for me, that’s why…”

She had never heard anyone say such heartfelt things to her before. Pretty? She looked herself up and down. How? She couldn’t see it. She did think her outfit was nice, at least. It was something Sunny Flare helped her pick out for a concert the girls all went to earlier that year. It was the nicest thing she had, so it would have had to do for tonight.

She slammed the brush down. “NO! He MUST be after something! That’s the only explanation! He’s got to have some AIM here!”

“Sour?”

Sour Sweet jumped and turned to see her mother standing at her door.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Mrs. Sweet chuckled, coming in. “What are you dressed so fine for? You and the girls got plans tonight?”

“Uh, no. Just going out to dinner…”

“By yourself?”

Sour Sweet cringed. “N-no. With a guy from school…”

Mrs. Sweet’s eyes lit up. “You’re going on a date?”

Sour Sweet blushed. She had hoped that she could somehow just slip past her parents. She really didn’t want anyone to know that she was going out on a date. Her friends weren't even aware. She was too embarrassed to show that she had a soft side. She had a reputation to maintain as a one-note personality with only two moods after all!

“Yeah, but it’s no big deal.”

Mrs. Sweet put her hands on her hips. “No big deal? I would say a first date is a pretty big deal.”

“I wouldn’t. I don’t even like the loser.”

“Well, he must like you to ask you out,” Mrs. Sweet persisted.

Sour Sweet frowned with unease. “Uh, actually… I asked him out… well, okay, more like ordered him out…”

Mrs. Sweet smirked. “Thought you said that you didn’t like this ‘loser’?”

Sour Sweet titled her nose up in a snooty fashion. “I assure you that I don’t.”

The doorbell rang.

“IT’S HIM!” Sour Sweet gasped as she snatched her brush back up to frantically finish straightening out her hair. “CRAP! I’M NOT READY!”

Mrs. Sweet chuckled and gave her daughter a comforting pat on the shoulder. “Calm down, honey. You look gorgeous. I’ll go let him in.”

Chapter 2: Fine Cuisine and Poser Commies (2ND Person)

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 3: Private Treasures

Sweetie Belle wiped a tear as Sour Sweet finished her story. “Wow, Sour Sweet. That was beautiful. I hope I can experience what you have someday.”

“Yeah, Ah wouldn’t mind havin’ a relationship, mahself,” Apple Bloom admitted. She then grew a sly smirk. “And then we would just need ta get Scootaloo ta admit her romantic feelin’s fer Rainbow Dash and all three Crusaders would have special somebodies!”

Scootaloo threw her arms up. “HEY! I do NOT have romantic feelings for Rainbow Dash! It’s purely idol worship and nothing else!”

Sweetie Belle went over and placed a sympathetic hand upon Scootaloo’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Scoots. We’ll love you no matter what your sexual orientation turns out to be.”

Scootaloo blushed and rolled her eyes. “Aw shut up, you guys! Now, come on! Do we or don’t we have a fan film to make here?”

Sour Sweet chuckled and lugged the Ahuizotl mask back over her head.

****************

After a long day of amateurish filmmaking that would make Ed Wood proud, Sour Sweet returned home. She had had a smile plastered on her face ever since she told her story to the Crusaders. Verbally reliving that night only made her want more. She wanted to relive it visually and tangibly as well.

She entered her room and went straight over to the dresser next to her bed. Inside the top drawer, she stored her most personal possessions. She opened it. Right next to her container of birth control pills and a framed crayon drawing of a little girl who she hoped to see again one day, was a red, pocket-sized booklet containing The Communist Manifesto.

She picked up and opened it to reveal the photos nestled within the pages: the photo booth strip and a copy of her mother's snapshot of the first kiss she had with the love of her life. Sour Sweet sighed contently, closed it back up, and held it out to bask in the memories.

“Does that say ‘The Communist Manifesto’?”

Sour Sweet jumped and turned to see her mother standing at her door.

“Mom, i-it’s not what it looks like!”

Mrs. Sweet went over and placed a sympathetic hand upon her daughter’s shoulder. “It’s okay, honey. I’ll love you no matter what your political orientation turns out to be.”

THE END