The Sun Also Surprises

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 7

Chapter 1

“Cadance, I’m lonely.”

Cadance looked at her aunt and watched as Princess Celestia became Celestia, her mask breaking and a torrent of emotions became visible upon her face. Cadance’s wings fluttered at her sides and she sucked in a deep breath as she tried to withhold her own reaction, which she feared would overwhelm her.

“Cadance, I am so very lonely but I don’t know if I can endure going through love again. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be hurt and I don’t want to hurt somepony else, but my heart doesn’t wish to listen to my own reason or logic. I cannot make this ache go away.”

Cadance, who was a very practical pony, took a very practical approach to dealing with this. She was, after all, the Princess of Love. “So, uh, Auntie, do you have somepony in mind? Anypony that catches your eye?”

“No.” Celestia shook her head and Cadance’s ears perked at the lone syllable uttered by her aunt.

“Cadance, this is very difficult for me. I don’t know that I should go through with this. Every time I have fallen in love, it has ended in heartbreak or disaster.” Celestia heaved a worn out sigh and her ears drooped down. “So much is expected of me. Many are the burdens I am expected to carry. And I do it alone. Cadance, dear, sometimes I wonder how much longer I can keep going. I have grown weary.”

“I see.” Cadance’s lips pursed into a thoughtful pucker. “So you need something serious, not a fling—”

“Cadance!”

“—and it needs to be with somepony that understands both duty and sacrifice. This one is going to be a tough one, but I think I can handle this new case.” Cadance gave her aunt a winning smile.

“So I am a case now?” Celestia asked, her ears standing back up.

“Well…” Cadance considered her words carefully; she was the Princess of Love. This is what she did. She helped ponies find the love of their lives. She helped ponies with difficult or complicated needs find love. Cadance made love happen. Cadance searched high and low until she found the pony that she knew was a good potential match to be somepony’s most special somepony. She looked at her aunt and was unable to stop a smile from spreading over her muzzle. Her aunt was going to be her most difficult case ever, no doubt about that.

“Cadance?”

“I was thinking,” Cadance replied, “and trying to figure out a gentle answer. Of course you are a case. Auntie, this is what I do. I find love where there seems to be no love to be found. The matches I make are very nearly perfect.”

“That worries me,” Celestia admitted in a low, husky voice that was now thick with emotion. “Cadance, darling, if you find me the love of my life and I have to watch them grow old, I do not think I could bear it. This is a bad idea and I wish I hadn’t said anything. I should be going—”

“Sit down,” Cadance commanded as Celestia rose from the table where the two had been sitting. When Celestia did not sit, Cadance’s brows furrowed. “Sit… down…” This time there was an unmistakable hardness in her voice and she rapped upon the edge of the table with her hoof.

Like a scolded filly, Celestia sat down, biting and chewing upon her lower lip.

“Auntie, I hate to be the one who says this, but it is better to have loved and lost—”

“Cadance… you have loved but never lost. Do not lecture me.” Celestia’s eyes narrowed and for a moment, anger burned in her eyes like two live coals. “You have no idea what loss is like, but one day, you will. Come to me then and share your cheerful, optimistic platitudes.”

“Fair enough,” Cadance replied. Still seeing some traces of anger in her aunt, Cadance changed the subject a bit. “Are you willing to trust in my processes? I do things in a different way. I bring ponies together in such a way that it allows them to get to know the pony on the inside without the outside distractions getting in the way. My methods are peculiar, but they work. I have a very high success rating and you would need to subject yourself to how I do things.”

“I have long wondered how you do what you do,” Celestia said as her anger melted away and her ruffled feathers smoothed out. She took a deep breath, her barrel expanded, and she slumped down in a very uncharacteristic slouch. “Cadance, I’m scared.”

“Love is scary.” Cadance’s head bobbed in agreement. “Shining Armor says he would rather go to war than try to understand love and its many pitfalls. Thankfully, I made it easy on him.” Cadance laughed and let out an unprincesslike snort. “Flurry Heart has made things difficult though. Funny how something so simple can become so complicated.”

The leftover dishes on the table clattered and clanked as Celestia leaned over and propped herself up on the edge of the table, resting her forelegs upon the sheer, silken tablecloth. She looked at Cadance, her eyes wide with worry, and for just a brief moment, it was easy to forget that Celestia was thousands of years old because she looked like a very confused filly that feared the oncoming status of adulthood.

“I get rid of the distractions that keep us from our love,” Cadance began, becoming serious. “I have a very methodical approach and every time I do this, I refine the process. Twilight has been a big help. The toughest part is finding the object of affection, but it gets easier. The first meeting, I use blindfolds and voice changing magic. I want the two prospects to get to know the ponies on the inside. I don’t want them to see a pegasus, or a unicorn, or an earth pony… or in this case, an alicorn. I don’t want them distracted by things like pelt colour or the curliness of somepony’s mane. By having them blinded and making them unrecognisable, I can get them to talk and be open. A pony can be quite chatty when they feel anonymous. I watch this meeting and my love-sense tells me everything I need to know. Afterwards, I set up more encounters, more meetings, all of them blind and disguised. Each encounter, or date if you wish to call them that, introduces new elements. I have found that ponies can actually fall in love during this very early phase. Eventually, the big reveal comes along.”

“Ever had it go spectacularly wrong?” Celestia asked.

“Of course,” Cadance responded without skipping a beat or having a moment’s hesitation. “But I’ve also had it go horribly wrong and then go wonderfully right with some couples counseling. The very worst cases of it going wrong happened because somepony wasn’t completely honest with me during the early stages when I ask a bunch of questions. They brought it upon themselves.” Cadance’s eyes narrowed and she fell silent to give her words time to sink in.

“Understood,” Celestia replied, cottoning on to Cadance’s words. “I shall strive to be open and honest.”

“Failure to do so means I get to go to your sister to find out what I need to know.” There was no trace of mirth or laughter in Cadance’s voice; her eyes were hard and flinty. She stared into her aunt’s eyes and did not turn away. “I warn you, Auntie, I am the Alicorn of Love. I take what I do very seriously. I know how you can be. I know your moods. I know how you love to mislead and tease. I demand that you treat this with the seriousness it deserves.”

“Of course, Cadance.” Celestia let out a tiny sigh and give her niece a nod. “I give you my word as your aunt, I will behave myself.” Celestia extended one golden shod hoof, folded her foreleg, and tapped herself over her own heart.

“Thank you,” Cadance replied. One eyebrow arched. “I will conduct my interview with you this evening. Prepare yourself… I mean that, prepare yourself. I shall return after the sun sets and Flurry has been put to bed. I have enjoyed our tea time together. I am positive that poor Shining is now a frazzled mess having been left alone with both Twilight and Flurry for the past few hours.”

Unable to help herself, Celestia laughed and nodded her head in agreement. She chuckled for several long moments, never once taking her eyes off of her niece. Cadance had grown up. Cadance was now matronly and had such a gentle, but regal bearing. Cadance was The Empress and she very much acted the part. She was trusting Cadance with her fragile heart. She felt a gushing rush of gratitude.

“Cadance, thank you,” Celestia said in a husky, raspy voice made thick with emotion.

“Don’t mention it,” Cadance replied, “you deserve to be happy and have love just like anypony else.” Cadance smiled. “Be ready. Tonight. After sundown. After Flurry Heart is tucked into bed… or tied into bed, whichever needs to happen, I shall return.”

Celestia, who felt a small, fragile spark of hope, nodded. “I shall be waiting…”

Princess Celestia felt as though she was in her hundreds once more. She paced through her chambers, nervous, her heart thudding and her frogs sweating. She could not help but feel that she had made a mistake, a terrible mistake, and that all of this would end in tears. When Cadance arrived, Celestia was tempted to call the whole thing off.

She refused to admit it, but Celestia was terrified. Her last love had been disastrous and had ended in horrendous heartache. Annoyed by the sounds they made, Celestia flung off her golden shoes; one of them she kicked off a little too hard and it clattered against the wall. Frustrated, angry, scared, she tore the regalia from her neck and hurled it at a pile of cushions while puffing out her cheeks in a flustered huff.

The crown was also chucked unceremoniously into the pile of cushions. Sometimes, she hated the damnable thing. It was tacky, it was gaudy, and in moments of temper, she had a tendency to cause gold to melt. Of course, in moments of severe temper, even the rocks melted, which was why it was so important to be patient and serene.

Little ponies could melt too.

Celestia was distracted by a knock at her door. She froze, wide eyed, and stared at the door. Her mouth opened and she wanted to invite Cadance inside, but no words would come out, only a squeak. Several times did Celestia try to speak and no words came forth. Finally, the door opened and Celestia was spared from having to say anything.

Cadance stood in the doorway, looking very professional. She was holding a thick notebook, a clipboard, and an ornate ink pen that was shockingly pink. Celestia stared as Cadance looked around the room and she knew that Cadance could see the kicked off shoes, regalia, and crown. One of Cadance’s eyebrows arched and Celestia suddenly felt very guilty without being able to say why.

“Oh my… you look frazzled.” Cadance spoke with the voice of a foal sitter or a school marm. She blinked a few times, clucked her tongue, and then in a voice of gentle command, Cadance said, “Now sit down, make yourself comfortable, and prepare to be honest.”

Blinking, Celestia tried to make herself comfortable on the pile of cushions and something stabbed her in her perfect, plush white backside. She grunted, a most unprincesslike sound, and after a moment of fidgeting, she pulled her crown out from beneath her and hurled it across the room again. It clanged when it hit the wall and clattered down to the marble floor. Turning her head, she saw that Cadance had one eye squinted at her in disapproval.

Was this what it was like for the little ponies when she scolded them or let them know she disapproved of their actions? This was awful. Celestia bore the full brunt of the alicorn gaze of shame and she felt like melting into the floor, never to be seen again. Cadance was good at it too, a little too good. Celestia’s lessons had paid off a little too well.

“Poor Shining Armor… he succumbed during bath time. Twilight fell not too long after. I thought I was doomed but Twilight Velvet came to the rescue. She got Flurry Heart into bed and Spike sang her to sleep. Night Light did that thing he does with the lights that makes little foals sleepy.” Cadance sighed, a weary sound, and then laughed. “Twilight Velvet got to tuck both of her grown up foals into bed and we had a good laugh about it. She has an amazing amount of endurance for a mare her age.” Cadance blinked a few times, pulled out her pen, and opened her notebook.

The pink alicorn cleared her throat, let out a polite cough, and pulled out a petite pair of reading glasses. She settled them on her muzzle, peered through them to focus her eyes, and then turned her attention upon Celestia.

“So, let’s get started. Sexual preferences. Male or female?” Cadance gave Celestia a patient smile and waited.

“Cadance, you know me. Male, of course.”

There was an annoyed wicker from Cadance. “Honesty… you are required to be honest—”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Celestia said in a low, stern voice that held a hint of anger.

“Look, let’s get this over with… I know all about the feelings you had for Twilight and still sometimes have.” Cadance’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve had feelings for other females as well.”

“Cadance… I… that…”

“HONESTY!” Cadance barked in a voice forceful enough to make the knick knacks on a nearby shelf rattle. “This will not work if you are not honest! Don’t you lie to me… that’s insulting, Auntie.”

“Yes, there were times when I had certain fantasies about Twilight.” Celestia hung her head. “But I would never act upon them. She was my student… my pupil… while I did think about it, I would never act upon it. Doing so would be immoral and unethical.” Celestia paused and closed her eyes for a moment. “Though sometimes I do wonder what might have been.”

“Now, I will ask again. Male or female?” Cadance’s lips contorted into a frustrated moue and she waited for an honest reply from her aunt.

“A stallion,” Celestia replied in a low voice that was almost a squeak. “I want somepony masculine and maybe just a little bit commanding, but not in a bad way. Somepony brave enough to be my equal. Somepony I can relax my guard around and know that they will protect me. Somepony that will look after my needs.”

“Mmm hmm.” Cadance nodded as her pen scratched over the notebook page she was writing in.

“Somepony who will bring out the best in me,” Celestia continued, “somepony that will inspire all of my best qualities.”

“Somepony you can have a teacher student relationship with,” Cadance said.

“No… no, Cadance… not that…” Celestia shook her head.

“Why not?” Cadance asked as both of her ears perked to attention. “You are at your best when you are a teacher. You just admitted that you had feelings for Twilight. You will be at your most comfortable and your most open when you are doing what you do best. And you, Auntie, you are a teacher. So you need a student that it is safe to be a little naughty with—”

“Cadance!” Celestia’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“I’m not saying that you need to make them stay after class so you can paddle them for being a bad pony… not unless you want to… and you should want to… it’s fun.” Cadance gave her aunt a wink and then continued to write stuff down in her notebook.

Celestia knew that her niece enjoyed a healthy love life, but Celestia had never given it much thought. Flurry Heart existed because Cadance and Shining Armor spent a great deal of time expressing physical love. But Celestia had never really thought about it. She had tried to avoid thinking about it. But now, now she found herself wondering who had paddled who; who had been the teacher and who had been the student. Could Cadance still squeeze into her school filly outfit? Was Shining Armor capable of actually paddling the love of his life, or was it just gentle love taps done in play?

“We take turns,” Cadance said with a chuckle and she grinned when she saw her aunt’s face contort in discomfort. “How am I to understand the complex needs and loves of others if I do not experiment in those things myself?”

Flabbergasted, Celestia let out a shocked whinny in response to Cadance’s words.

“Okay, Auntie… deep breaths… and start telling me things you like,” Cadance said to Celestia as she kicked out her legs and got comfortable upon the sofa. “Don’t be shy. Be open, be honest… help me so I can help you.”

“I like rain and rainclouds,” Celestia blurted out and she was surprised by the ease at which the words had sprang from her lips. “I’ve always felt that a good thunderstorm makes one appreciate the sunshine even more. I’ve always liked stormclouds… I like the colours. I like when the sun shines through stormclouds… it somehow always looks brighter when shining through a fluffy grey cloud. Those moments when rays of light go piercing through the dark clouds like spears of sunshine…” Celestia’s words trailed off.

“This is good. This helps me to understand you.” Cadance’s pen continued to scratch over the page she wrote upon in her notebook. “My aunt is a hopeless romantic,” Cadance muttered in a low voice.

“I like jumping in mud puddles—”

“I know.” Cadance’s pen stopped for a moment while she looked at her aunt. “You were very surprised when I found you and joined you. That was one of the happiest moments of my foalhood. We jumped in puddles together and we were both so happy. I treasure that memory.”

“So do I, Cadance… so do I. So few ponies get to see me as I really am. I once tried jumping into a mud puddle around Twilight but she just lectured me about the mess.” A relaxed smile spread over Celestia’s muzzle. “Twilight is not a mud puddle jumper.”

“Neither is Shining Armor,” Cadance said, sharing a secret with her aunt.

“Twilight Velvet raised them right,” both mares said in unison.

Blinking, Cadance laughed and Celestia found herself relaxing a little bit more. She felt some of the tension in her muscles easing away and her frogs didn’t feel so sweaty. She felt her mood improving. Everything was going well.

“How do you feel about foals?” Cadance asked.

Right away, Celestia felt her frogs start sweating again. She gulped, not expecting this question. She felt the muscles in her neck clench up and it was suddenly difficult to breathe. She let out a little snort and then said, “Cadance, that is very complicated.”

“Honesty,” Cadance said in a gentle voice.

Celestia sighed, knowing that there was no way of getting out of this. “Cadance, I am a teacher for a reason. I satisfy my innermost maternal needs vicariously by looking after the foals of others.” Celestia took a deep breath. “I like foals. I like rain clouds, I like stomping in puddles, and I like foals. They’re filled with so much hope and potential.”

Cadance peered at Celestia over the top edge of her glasses. “Auntie, it is no longer the dark old days. Things are different now. You don’t have to worry so much about nobles squabbling for power and trying to poison their rivals. Things are safer now. If you really wanted foals of your own, you should have some. I know it’s complicated, and I know that it will end in an aching heart someday, but you should at least try.”

“Cadance… I don’t know… Cadance, I lived through some very dark times. The things I have seen—”

“Are like storm clouds. Sure, it got dark for a while, but the sun shone through and now, the sun feels so much brighter after it punched through all those dark clouds. Doesn’t it feel good? Isn’t it pretty?” Cadance gave her aunt a reassuring smile.

Celestia sat there with a blank look upon her face, wondering when Cadance had become so wise. It wasn’t very long ago it seemed that Celestia had asked Cadance if she wanted to foal sit a very troubled little filly that asked far too many difficult questions.

“I would like to have foals… if I found the right stallion who was willing to settle down.” Celestia felt her face grow warm and she had no idea how pink she was turning. From the neck up, she was starting to look a bit like Cadance.

“So much trust involved,” Cadance said in a low, serious voice. “You have to trust in your mate. You have to trust in your little ponies. You have to trust in their goodness and hope that they do no harm.” Cadance cleared her throat. “I thought I trusted Shining… I mean, I really thought I trusted him. I mean, we went through a lot of sexual experimentation together and I just sort of assumed that I trusted him. But then I got pregnant and I discovered just how much I trusted Shining Armor. I trust him with Flurry Heart, the thing most precious and dear to my heart. He’s so patient, gentle, and kind.”

Celestia felt her eyes moisten as she listened to Cadance baring her heart. She felt a tightness in her throat. She was learning things about Cadance, shocking things, good things, she was getting to know Cadance as a mare, and not just as a student or as the Empress of the Crystal Empire. Even if this whole experience came to naught, Celestia took comfort in the idea that this foolish idea of hers had brought her and Cadance closer together.

“A family might be nice.” Celestia sighed. “The truth is, I’m not needed as much as I once was. Twilight has streamlined the government. Luna deals with her share of the political workload. I’ve had more free time than I’ve had in centuries. I have ponies I can trust looking after my interests. The truth is, I could take more time for myself and I just don’t. I don’t know why.”

Celestia blinked, surprised by her own honesty. She really didn’t know why. Habit? Routine? Was she really old, stubborn, and set in her ways? She didn’t know. Perhaps it was time for a change. She eyed Cadance and channeled her anxious energy by gnawing upon her lip.

“Yes?” Cadance asked, anticipating some question from her aunt.

“I want somepony brave enough to lure me out of my comfort zone,” Celestia said.

Cadance smiled. “That can be arranged, I’m sure.”

“He needs to be romantic,” Celestia added.

“That goes without saying,” Cadance replied.

Celestia gnawed upon her lip once more and agonised over what she wanted to say next. She reminded herself that Cadance was a grown mare and the Alicorn of Love. What Celestia wanted was delightfully dirty, but she had her reasons.

“Cadance?”

“Yes?”

“I know how this might sound, but this goes back to me being a teacher.”

“Yes?” Cadance’s eyebrow arched in curiousity.

“I want a virgin—”

“Auntie!”

“No, hear me out, Cadance.” Celestia paused and waited for Cadance’s giggles to subside and she felt her own throat go dry. When Cadance’s giggles eased into a few snorty chortles, Celestia continued. “I’m old and I’m set in my ways. I don’t want a lover with a lot of bad sexual habits. I don’t want somepony that I’m going to have to explain to how to do the job right and have to tell them why everything they are currently doing is wrong. I want somepony young, eager, but also willing to learn. I want that youthful enthusiasm of a student who wants to be in school. Cadance, I—”

“I understand,” Cadance said in a serious, solemn voice. “I understand completely. You want to give one lucky pony the most magical and most wonderful educational experience of a lifetime.”

“Yes, I suppose I do,” Celestia admitted. “Am I being unreasonable or asking for too much?”

“No,” Cadance replied, shaking her head. “I don’t think so. Now, tell me more about yourself so that I might be able to help you. We’ve broken the ice and you’re starting to become a little more comfortable with the process. Prepare yourself Auntie, for now we talk about the really embarrassing and awkward stuff.”

Swallowing a huge lump that just appeared in her throat, Princess Celestia felt very afraid, but she also felt ready for the challenge. So took a deep breath and prepared to tell Cadance everything she could so Cadance would be able to help.

Plus, it would be nice to talk to somepony other than Luna about these things.

Luna was a tease.

Author's Note

Short story. Should be about ten chapters or so. Maybe. I don't know?

I don't know if I should be sorry yet.

Chapter 2

Pins and needles. Everything was pins and needles. The past three days had been almost agonising. Celestia had seen Cadance during the past three days, but Cadance was on her vacation and Celestia hadn’t said anything so that Cadance could enjoy her time and relax. But today… today, Cadance was coming by for a talk. She had sent word to be ready.

Celestia did not understand Cadance’s mysterious ways. She knew Cadance had clients; ponies that she helped. She had a network of helpers who had a variety of talents that included everything from matchmaking to psychoanalysis. And then there was Cadance herself and her ever so mysterious love-sense. Cadance knew when there was attraction present, Cadance knew when there was a crush, and she knew when the conditions were just right for love to blossom. No feeling of love could be hidden from Cadance, and Celestia had borne witness to this. Cadance had known about her teensy weensy fantasy about Twilight, a harmless, never once acted upon fantasy of being Twilight’s teacher in the ways of love.

Twilight was just so adorably awkward.

Now, Cadance was working, whatever that meant, even on her vacation. That was the thing; alicorns really didn’t take vacations. The sun and moon had to keep moving. Twilight shepherded the ebb and flow of magic, even if she didn’t realise it. What a day that would be, the day when Twilight truly understood the extent of her talent. It would be a momentous day of discovery and Celestia couldn’t wait. Ponies continued to fall in love and have troubles in love. Because of this, Cadance and her network were needed.

Love was a funny, fickle thing in a species dependent upon destiny. Sometimes, destiny got confused and needed help. There was just the right pony for everypony, but with the population explosion, massive cities, and sheer number of ponies that now existed, sometimes love needed help to bring two ponies together. Destiny was a funny thing indeed. Destiny guided your direction, it helped you along. Destiny, like a cutie mark, could give you a nudge in the right direction, but ultimately, one had a responsibility to make the journey happen and then seek out help if they floundered.

Princess Celestia had once lobstered, but she had never floundered. Nope.

Thankfully, destiny had helpers like the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Ponies who worked hard to help the magic happen. These facilitators made the world a better place by the virtue of their very existence. Now, all that was needed was a pony to help manage the names—they had become a bit unwieldy. Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer; there were only so many ways one could describe the evening followed by a descriptive verb. Whatever cosmic force responsible for names was clearly getting tired, worn out, and needed a helper or three.

The news that Cadance was coming caused Celestia to pace like a flustered school filly.

Seeing Cadance, Celestia could not help but feel a little disappointed. Flurry Heart was not with her mother. Sure, Flurry Heart had just been here in Canterlot yesterday when Cadance was visiting and they had all had fun together, but now Cadance was working and little Flurry was in Ponyville. Probably destroying Twilight’s castle, making her father and her aunt beg for mercy and no doubt being spoiled by her grandparents.

Celestia let out a wistful sigh. Canterlot was still relatively intact after Flurry’s visit.

“Hello again, Cadance,” Celestia said, wanting oh so very much to get the pleasantries out of the way and begin talking about the real reason why Cadance was here. But Celestia had to be patient, gracious, she had to slow down and act her age. She was still quite young, all things considered, but the common little pony would not understand that.

“I’ve found somepony,” Cadance replied as she tossed herself down upon a sofa and let heave a weary, worn out sigh, the sigh of overworked mothers everywhere. The pink alicorn made herself comfortable and began eating some of the flowers out of a nearby vase, chewing them with an almost orgasmic look of pleasure upon her face.

So soon? Shocked, Celestia shook her head. She knew that she should sit down, but she couldn’t. She wanted to dance in place, unable to stand still, and she was in such a flustered, worked up state that her own feathers felt itchy and hot against her sides. She almost couldn’t bear the anticipation.

“I don’t want to say too much as I want to protect the process, but I can tell you a little,” Cadance said around a mouthful of daisies.

Celestia fidgeted in place, restraining herself from singing or diving onto the sofa beside Cadance, so she could hug her, squeeze her, and then do whatever was necessary to make Cadance talk and make Cadance tell her everything… everything. Everypony had a weakness and could be made to talk.

“He’s a current client. Has been for a while now. He’s a little old fashioned, he’s a traditionalist as you will soon discover, and he has romantic, courtly ideals. He wants to find a mare that can appreciate him for how he is and not laugh at him because he’s different. His last adventure in love has left him wounded and he has a tender heart. He’s scared of being hurt again, which is why he was getting counseling.”

“Cadance, darling…”

“Yes, Auntie?”

“Forgive me for being so direct, but it sounds as though his last encounter left him a little more than wounded… if it hurt bad enough for him to seek out help, it had to be pretty bad.” Celestia’s eyes narrowed and her keen, logical mind was already picking apart every word that Cadance had said, trying to glean as much information as could be had.

“He… well… hmph.” Cadance eyed the now empty flower vase and looked disappointed. “I don’t want to go into too much detail, but as stated, he has certain notions about courtly love. He’s saving himself for marriage, you see. You know, that funny old outdated notion—”

“Cadance, that is an important tradition for many,” Celestia said in a low voice.

“I know,” Cadance agreed, shaking her head, “but I find it fraught with hazards. A couple should try things out before committing. Sometimes, things don’t always fit like they should.” Cadance’s ears drooped and she gave her aunt a stern look. “It means I have to do a lot of work to repair the relationship sometimes… I’m just saying, it’s practical to experiment before saying ‘I do’ and committing yourself to what should be a lifetime partnership.”

“I think I understand,” Celestia said, trying to be gracious.

“Anyhow…” Cadance continued, “he was put under a lot of pressure to perform and he said no. I found what he did rather brave. The filly he was dating, well, she took the rejection badly. She ridiculed him, shamed him, and then started some truly awful rumours about him and spread them around school. It caused him no end of grief.”

“That’s awful.” Celestia lifted her head higher. “How could one pony do that to another?”

“I don’t know,” Cadance replied, “but they do. And she did. He was brave and did the right thing though. He sought out counseling. And that’s all I’m going to say on the subject.” Cadance grinned, a wide satisfied smile spread over her muzzle.

“Cadance, you have to tell me more,” Celestia said in commanding tones.

“Nope.” Cadance shook her head. “That’s all you get.”

“But I need to know more.” Celestia took a step forwards and her ears perked at the sounds of her own feathers ruffling. She realised how devious Cadance was. Cadance had just told her enough to engage her emotions and make her care. She cursed Cadance’s competence and stolid nature. Celestia had done a little too well with this particular student. Cadance was a fiend. A little pink nightmare. Celestia had never been more proud. A princess had to have just the right amount of ruthlessness and Cadance was sugar and spice with a side of naughtiness.

“You will be learning more tonight,” Cadance said to her aunt in teasing tones, “‘cause tonight, you’ll be going on your first date.”

Celestia, who held up the sun and sometimes even the moon in a pinch, now had trouble holding up her own body. Her knees wobbled and she felt her breath catch in her throat. Her barrel hitched and she let out a most embarrassing hiccup sound.

“We need to discuss some ground rules. Think you can handle a serious discussion?” Cadance peered at her aunt, her eyebrows knitted together and a few faint wrinkles adorned her muzzle.

“Yes.” Celestia wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor. Her noble, regal, majestic voice now sounded like a rusty hinge. She hoped that Cadance was enjoying this. Celestia refrained from saying anything else, not wanting to hear the sound of her own voice.

“No names,” Cadance began. “You will call him Mister and he will call you Miss. You are not to reveal who you are to one another. I will be watching and waiting in the wings with silence spells to deal with any failures in the process. No revealing tribe… you would not believe how damaging this can be. Ponies find out a tribe and immediately began with the harmful, hurtful preconceived notions about how different tribes are supposed to act.”

Celestia nodded to show that she was paying attention.

“You are not to reveal that you are a princess… that would be bad. He would figure out who you are through process of deduction alone. The big reveal will have to come later. Be gentle. No interrogation. I’m trusting you to obey my rules and follow my processes. I know how clever you are and how well versed you are in statecraft. If I find you using your skills to undermine my efforts and circumvent my processes, I will be very, very hurt and I will be disappointed in you. I might even back out of this whole venture. I need for you to understand how damaging this could be to our relationship if you try to find someway around the safeguards I have put in place. I pride myself on my job and I don’t hurt ponies, I help them. I don’t want you hurt, and I don’t want him hurt. Respect my processes and do not mess with my safeguards.”

“I understand,” Celestia said in the squeaky voice of a filly. “I’ll be on my best behaviour, I promise.”

“He’s a little shy and he’s scared out of his mind. I know for certain that you are as well. Keep that in mind: the two of you already have something in common. Common ground, and all of that.” Cadance pursed her lips together and studied her aunt. “The date will be simple. I have a cafe here in Canterlot already selected and I’ve set up a safe room. You will be going in blind and so will he. There will be magic used to change both of your voices. The table will have a selection of goodies and treats that you’ll have to work to find and your drinks will have straws in them. No magic… I mean that, no magic. Magic can give things away and reveal things before they are ready. So you might end up with some chocolate on your snoot. Deal with it. I will be in the room with both of you, keeping track of everything and gauging both of your reactions. I’ll be testing everything with my love-sense and trying to determine what I’m working with. I’ve already promised him the first report after the fact, but at some point tomorrow, I’ll be by and I’ll let you know how things went from my perspective, and you and I will talk about how things were. I might also give you a list of things you need to improve upon if you want this to work.”

“Okay,” Celestia replied, now realising the gravity of this situation. It was almost startling to see Cadance in command, with so much control, so much poise, so much professionalism. Celestia realised that she had never really seen Cadance work—she had never given Cadance and her job the attention it deserved. There was a twinge of guilt; Celestia was now getting to see everything only because she had been desperate and had come to Cadance seeking help.

When this was done and over, Celestia planned to sit down and have a sincere heart to heart with Cadance so that she could tell her what a magnificent and wonderful pony she was. Celestia wanted Cadance to know how proud she was of her.

“Tonight. Nine o’clock. Be ready. Again, I must say, do not disappoint me."

Celestia nodded, more to cement her own resolve than to let Cadance know she wouldn't let her down. There was simply too much at stake.

Author's Note

Thanks, Rocinante :yay:

And a big thank you to everyone reading so far.

Next chapter: A blind (quite literally) date.

Chapter 3

Celestia thought about getting sick just to get it over with. She had dealt with wars, angry yaks, stubborn bureaucrats, an escaped draconequus, the random thousand year old evil rearing its ugly head, and even parent-teacher nights in the school, but not much in the past seven hundred and fifty years or so had left her this nervous or flustered. She felt her stomach lurch and for a brief moment, she thought about calling the whole thing off.

A part of her understood that Cadance would not let her call it off. Not without dire consequences. And truth be told, Celestia did not want to call it off. The loneliness had become downright painful. She wanted it to end, but for it to end, she had to endure some discomfort. Celestia sighed and accepted the fact that she had to take her medicine like a big filly.

She felt hot and itchy all over. She was sweaty and as she thought about being sweaty, she began to worry about if her wingpits might stink. She had big, heavy wings and underwing odour was a real concern. The problem was, as Celestia saw it, one could never quite smell oneself as another pony might. Celestia had nightmares of spreading her wings and a whole crowd of little ponies just tipping right over, stiff legged, stuck on their backs with their tongues hanging out, eyes bulging, little legs twitching as they succumbed to the malodorous funk. It was a constant, nagging fear that always lurked in the back of her mind.

Luna of course, had no such fears, she was still stuck in the past, way back in ye olden days when bathing was optional and even seen by some as being hazardous to one's own health. Ye olden days when ponies still used urine to clean their teeth. Ye olden days had not ended soon enough. Luna, loud, brash Luna, could spread her wings and give the guard a real test of their endurance. Luna’s downdrafts could only be described as flower wilting at best and an act of war at worst. With a single pomf of her wings, Luna could stun a yak and Prince Rutherford had returned home with quite a story to tell, a sordid tale indeed.

Eight thirty. It was time to go. Celestia felt her stomach clench yet again, it contorted into painful, bunched up knots and she gritted her teeth as she waited for the painful spasms to pass. It was like she was in her hundreds once more, those painful awkward years that had lingered for far too long.

Mouth dry, Celestia opened the doors to her chambers and stepped outside into the hall, ready to go.

“Auntie… er, Majesty.” Shining Armor bowed his head as Celestia stepped out of the carriage.

“Shining, I am surprised to see you here,” Celestia said to her nephew. “How is it that you have managed to escape? Where is little Flurry?”

“Oh, I tricked Twily into looking after Flurry all by herself.” Shining Armor grinned as he looked up at Celestia. “Mom is there to help and Spike is there should things take a turn for the worse.”

“Spike is good with foals, isn’t he?” Celestia lowered her head down and gave Shining Armor an affectionate nuzzle. “It helps that Flurry adores him of course. Spike’s natural armor keeps him safe from Flurry’s little… surges.”

Clearing his throat, Shining Armor pulled his head away from Celestia. “You must forgive me, but I have instructions from Cadance. I am to blindfold you and prepare you for non detection. We don’t want the rustle of your wings giving you away. When I’m done, you will only be a voice and nothing else, but it will not be your own voice. We must protect the process.”

Celestia nodded. “I understand and I willingly submit.”

“Your date has a bad case of the jitters. Cadance is busy trying to calm him. He was very nearly sick just before you arrived, so please, be patient with him. He’s not feeling well.” Shining Armor pulled out a broad black velvet blindfold as he spoke and held it aloft in his magic.

Shining Armor’s words gave Celestia pause. She still felt sick, she was still nauseous with worry and could feel her stomach lurching. For some reason, she took comfort in knowing that her blind date was just as nervous as she was. Somehow, it made everything better. It put them on even hoofing. It might give them something to talk about.

Perhaps something to bond over.

Celestia’s hoof made a nervous stomp against the cobblestones as Shining Armor slipped the blindfold over her eyes and cinched it tight against her face. It was snug, thick, the velvet was both smooth and fuzzy against her pristine silken pelt. The world went dark and Celestia could sense magic. There would be no cheating it seemed, no peeking through the blindfold using illicit means. Celestia sensed Twilight’s magic and knew that Twilight had to be helping Cadance. Celestia found it comforting that the two mares worked so well together. It boded well for Equestria’s future.

The rustle of her own feathers ceased; she could hear nothing even if she flapped her wings against her sides. She heard Shining Armor chuckle and she realised that when she had given a test flap, she had inadvertently tickled him. She folded her wings against her sides and did her best to behave, but she was tempted to keep tickling him just as she had done when he was a tiny, adorable little foal. She had loved him then, and she loved him now. He completed Cadance, he was her soul mate. Celestia tried not to think about how distressingly mortal Shining Armor was.

Shining Armor had always made the most adorable little snortles when he was being tickled. The memory made for a pleasant distraction and kept Celestia from darker thoughts, improving her mood. She felt a gentle tug and knew that she was being led along. She followed, worried about stumbling, but then came to the conclusion that Shining would never let her stumble and fall. Knowing this, she strode forwards with newfound confidence, following Shining’s lead.

Princess Celestia’s ears strained for the sounds of breathing in the room and realised that even that had been silenced. A clever pony could tell tribes apart by the sound of breathing; Celestia couldn’t quite do it, but Luna could and so could her Wardens. Something soft touched her hind legs and she felt herself being eased down to the floor. A large soft cushion almost swallowed her backside and she felt a low table in front of her.

Ears still straining, Celestia waited, hoping for some instruction. She suspected that Shining Armor was still near, but he had been muffled. She knew Cadance had to be in the room somewhere. Celestia sniffed and smelled something sweet. The scent of roses filled the air, along with chocolate and other tasty treats.

“Hello?”

Celestia almost swallowed her own tongue and she felt her mouth go dry. She coughed, but no sound came out. She knew that her date was expecting a reply, but Celestia had trouble with the simple task of uttering a single word of greeting.

After a few tries, she squeaked out a “Hi.”

“I almost didn’t make it… but I’m glad I did.”

There was simple honesty in the spoken words and Celestia reminded herself that the voice she heard wasn’t the real voice of her date. After a moment of thoughtful consideration, she decided to be honest as well.

“I almost didn’t make it either. I felt quite ill. I am so nervous.”

Waiting, ears straining, Celestia sat on the soft, voluminous cushion and wondered what would be said next. Each muscle in her body was far too tense. Her wings fidgeted against her sides and her frogs were both itchy and sweaty.

“That kind of makes me feel better.” There was a pause. “So, um, what do you do for a living?”

“I deal in futures,” Celestia replied without hesitation, her mind coming up with an instant clever reply. “I deal in futures and securities. Also, energy management.” Celestia prided herself on her witty reply. Every word spoken had a grain of honesty.

“I’m in the guard.”

“Oh really…” Celestia was intrigued. She treasured her guards. “What made you join the guard?”

“Oh… that.” There was another long pause. “Well, you see… uh, well, this is difficult to talk about. I was in secondary school and something happened… something awful.”

Celestia’s muscles tensed. She already knew what had happened.

“Something happened and it caused me no end of trouble. It was so bad that I had to leave school, I had to leave home, I had to leave the town where I was born and raised. I came to Canterlot and joined the guard because I couldn’t figure out what else to do or what I wanted to do with myself and my future.”

“Did you ever figure what you want to do?” Celestia asked.

“When I qualify for the scholarship that guards can get, I want to go back to school. University. I don’t know what I’ll do there, but I have time to figure it out.”

Questions. Celestia had questions. He had fled home and joined the guard. How old was he? He had to be young, but how young? What had Cadance done? There was young and then there was too young. She tried to remember the minimum age to join the guard but drew a blank. She couldn’t remember. She bit down on her own lip and began to chew and worried the tip of her tongue against the tickly-prickly hairs on the edge of her lip.

“I think I’d like to study history, but I don’t know how to turn that into a job.”

“Oh, there is always a need for historians,” Celestia said, the words just spilling out of her mouth with an ease that surprised her. “If you know the right ponies, it is easy to get a job as an archivist or a historian. You might be surprised to learn this, but the palace is always short staffed when it comes to these prized individuals.”

“Really?”

“Really.” A tiny, fragile spark of hope ignited in Celestia’s breast. She had stories to tell. She was history. She was the living vessel of history that held a thousand years of stories to tell about Equestria. Would she have a willing ear? Somepony to talk to? Somepony that shared her love of history? It was almost too much to hope for and Celestia felt her throat tighten.

“So, besides history, what else do you like? Tell me more about yourself.” Celestia found herself curious; she wanted to know more. She was already curious about her date, Cadance had told her just enough to make her care, and Celestia wanted to learn all that she could.

“I like music, art, and theatre. I like show tunes…”

There was a pause and Celestia sensed something was wrong. She could feel the tension in the air. Her ears quivered as she waited for more words. She felt a sense of worry that was almost maternal kicking in. She wanted to toss the table aside and find out what was wrong with her little pony. Her little guard pony.

“It’s funny… it’s because I like history, music, art, theatre, and show tunes that I had to leave home. Because I’m different. Because I like cultural stuff and because of how I was, somepony said something about me… something awful, and everypony else believed it was true because of stereotypes.”

“Somepony said you were gay, didn’t they?” Celestia asked in a voice that sounded like a stranger’s voice.

“How did you know?”

“Just a hunch,” Celestia replied in what she hoped sounded like a gentle voice. The voice coming out of her mouth was so strange that she hadn’t yet determined how the different tones of her voice sounded.

“It’s hard to be different… it’s even harder when the entire secondary school is laughing at you, teasing you, and bullying you… the entire hoofball team had it in for me. Almost every day a fight broke out. I couldn’t learn anything. I couldn’t pay attention in my classes. I was so tense all the time and paranoid about somepony jumping me. When I realised that the problem wasn’t going to sort itself out or get better on its own, I left.”

“I’m very sorry that all of that happened to you.” Celestia shook her head and felt a heaviness in her heart. For some reason, the conversation felt much heavier than Celestia thought it should feel. She took a moment to think about why and after some thoughtful consideration, she understood that there were no distractions, nothing to see, nothing to stare at, nothing to steal or rob her focus away. She was listening because there was nothing else to do. She lowered her head and began to try and feel her way around. She felt a straw brush up against her lips and she pushed her head forwards.

The straw went up her nose.

Well, that was ghastly and Celestia was thankful that her date hadn’t seen that. No doubt that Cadance had just watched it happen though. No doubt, Cadance would have a good laugh about it later.

“Leaving was a good thing,” Celestia’s date said in a voice that gained a little volume. “I found myself in the guard. At home, I was a nobody. I was the queer colt that everypony laughed at and made fun of. In the guard, I’m the competent pony in the signal corps and one of the few privates that the sergeant tolerates. He says I’m too smart to be in the guard but he’s damn glad to have me. I don’t think I’m that smart, I just keep my mouth shut, only speak when I’m spoken to, and I’ve learned to stand very, very still.”

A smile spread over Celestia’s muzzle, an unseen smile.

“So what about you?”

Oooh, where to start? Celestia had no idea how to even begin. How could she talk about herself? How could she say anything about herself? She had to be careful about what she said, about what she revealed.

“I’m really no different than any other pony,” Celestia began, “I want the same things that everypony else wants. I have hopes and dreams. I too, have to deal with stereotypes, it is very difficult to be treated as an equal. Ponies make assumptions about me. Because of all of these stereotypes, I am very lonesome and I’ve withdrawn.”

“I could treat you as an equal.”

Celestia felt her eyebrow arching beneath the velvet blindfold.

“I know what it is like… wanting to be accepted for who and what you are, but then ponies treat you badly or differently because of preconceived notions. It’s hard enough to fit in when you’re different, but then ponies have to make it even more difficult… they have to make it impossible. It’s hard to be accepted when you’re not quite like everypony else.”

Celestia felt her heart fluttering like a caged bird inside of her barrel. “I would tell you to be true to yourself and not be afraid of who you are, but the simple truth of the matter is, I would be a hypocrite if I did so. I’ve retreated and hidden myself away. I’ve had to hide my true self from the world and live behind a disguise so I could have acceptance.”

“Why can’t the world just accept us for who and what we are?”

Shaking her head, letting out a silent, unheard sigh, Celestia found herself shrugging, but then remembered that her date couldn’t see that. She cleared her throat and said, “I don’t know.” She wanted to say more, but no wise words seemed forthcoming. She began nosing around the table, careful not to knock over her glass, and found a small saucer full of little round chocolate balls. She picked up one in her lips, pulled it into her mouth, and bit down. It was a chocolate covered cherry. Sweet syrup dribbled down her chin and she wondered if there was a napkin.

She wondered what her date was doing. Try as she might, all she could hear was the sound of his voice, it wasn’t even his real voice. There was nothing to distract her except for the chocolate covered cherries she had found and whatever other treats that were on the table.

“It’s so unfair when ponies just assume that you have to be a certain way because of whatever reason. It just makes me so angry. Mostly because I couldn’t do anything about it. I hated getting into fights. It makes me feel ashamed of myself. I’m better than that, but I had to defend myself.”

Hearing her date’s words caused Celestia’s ears to stand up straight. “Sometimes, because of circumstances, violence cannot be avoided.” Celestia thought of her sister Luna and felt a pang of guilt and shame.

“It’s so easy to talk to you… Cadance promised that it would be easy and that you were a good listener.”

Flattered, Celestia lifted her head high. “It is a pleasure talking to you. This is very nice and I’m enjoying myself. It’s nice just being able to talk and not have to worry about somepony making assumptions about me. It’s nice just being able to connect to somepony else and have a good time.” She lowered her head once more and went searching for another chocolate covered cherry.

“I’ve kept to myself and none of the other guards know about my hobbies or what I do. I just don’t talk about it. I don’t want them getting the wrong idea. I’m so scared about being myself around other ponies. I don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t want to have to run away.”

Behind the blindfold, Celestia felt her eyes watering a bit as she chewed on her confection.

“So tell me, why do you have to hide yourself away? Is it because of how you are? Something you like? Is it something that ponies see when they look at you?”

“When ponies see me, they tend to overreact,” Celestia blurted out and she was shocked by her own honesty.

“Well… I promise I’ll be a gentlepony when I see you. No matter what is wrong with you, I won’t turn away. Did something happen to you? Do you have a disability? Are you maimed? If you are, you can tell me, I promise that I’ll be very understanding. I know how it feels to be hurt and I would never want to do that to you or anypony else.”

With a heavy heart, Celestia had a realisation; she did have a physical deformity that set her apart. She had both wings and a horn. She didn’t know what to say and she wondered what Cadance must be thinking right now. “I have some very visible differences. It sets me apart. I will admit, I’ve done things to hide them so I can appear normal. I’ve lived a lie so I can have companionship. I have some friends that have never seen me as I truly am and every day the shame I feel grows a little heavier as I continue to deceive them. I am so afraid though that if they saw me for how I really am, they would treat me differently. I am so scared of losing them. I don’t want to be treated differently. I’m not a very good friend because I can’t work up enough courage to be honest with them.”

“It’s hard when you just want to be accepted for how you are. I’m sorry that you’ve had to hide yourself. Whatever is wrong with you must be pretty bad if you have to hide it from other ponies, but I promise, you won’t have to hide it from me.”

Hearing her date’s words, Celestia felt torn between crying and laughing. She wondered if he thought she was hideous or had grotesque deformations. A small hopeful part of her was curious if he would follow through with his promise if she was in fact, deformed or ugly beyond reason. She wanted to believe that he would. She wanted to believe in the goodness of her little ponies.

“Cadance has been teaching me to love myself. It’s very difficult. She says that if I want somepony to love me, I have to love myself first. I have to be comfortable in my own skin. She has me seeing a few counselors. Just getting help is causing me problems. I hide it from my fellow guards ‘cause I’m scared that they’ll find out that I’m seeing a few shrinks and they’ll think I’m a headcase.”

Do I need some counselling? Celestia asked herself. Maybe she did. Maybe she needed to talk to Cadance about getting some help. Celestia, as much as she hated to admit it, knew she had some issues with herself, her self image, and she wondered if she loved herself enough. She was always striving to care for the needs of others and seldom had time to even consider her own needs. Who took care of her? It was a good question and Celestia admitted to herself that she didn’t have an answer.

“It’s funny, I inspire so much confidence in others, but as of this moment I am starting to realise that I lack confidence in myself,” Celestia admitted to her date. She felt her barrel go tight with tension, but her confession was cathartic. It was nice to be able to bare her soul. There was something about the anonymous nature of the date and being blind.

“I think talking to you is boosting my confidence.”

“Really?” Celestia gobbled up another chocolate covered cherry, the last one on the saucer and she waited for her date to continue.

“Cadance told me that you were one of the most special ponies she knows. She said you were amazing… that you were wonderful, but you were also shy and that you had been hurt. And as I was sitting here thinking about all of this, I realised, Cadance must think I’m pretty special too if she trusts me enough to introduce me to a fragile pony that she says she loves a great deal. She treasures you. She said so.”

Celestia almost choked on her cherry. She swallowed it, most of it still unchewed, and it was a hard, painful lump in her throat as it went down.

“Cadance is trusting me not to you hurt you and I must be doing something right if she trusts me. I feel so much better about myself right now.” There was a brief pause. “Wow, heh, that’s like a total relief. Maybe I can relax now.”

Celestia heard a faint nervous laugh. She gulped, still feeling a lump in her throat even though her candy had been swallowed. She could feel sweat running off of her frogs and down her neck. She began to worry about sweaty wingpits. Beneath her blindfold, she could feel the corner of one eye twitching. She was feeling far too warm, almost overwhelmed, but she was determined to hold it together.

She wanted to know this pony. Something had happened. Hearing him have a moment of self realisation had ignited something deep inside of her. This was a pony she could teach and he would be receptive. She wanted to know more about him. He was sincere, gentle, sensitive, and she wanted to know him in the most desperate way imaginable.

Taking a deep breath, Celestia summoned her courage and screwed it to the sticking place. “So, tell me more about your hobbies and what you like to do in your spare time…”

Author's Note

Curious about the 'verse this takes place in? There are a wealth of characters to discover and plenty of stories to be told.

http://www.fimfiction.net/group/210355/weed-world

Thank you, gentle readers for continuing with me this far. It is appreciated. Your comments, your likes, and your readership is dear to me, so thank you for allowing me to entertain you.

Chapter 4

It would be shameful to admit it, but Cadance was almost enjoying her aunt’s discomfort. Celestia was a creature of routine and it could be said that she was set in her ways. There were, of course, well disguised efforts to have a little fun, but it could be said that Celestia truly wasn’t herself during those moments.

Last night, her aunt had been herself. She had bared her soul. Last night, Celestia had made a connection with another pony, as another pony. Not as a monarch, not as the Solar Empress, not as the Princess of the Sun, not as the ruler of Equestria, not as a teacher explaining the mystery of life to a student—last night, she had simply been Celestia.

In Cadance’s opinion, the date had gone well, far better than expected. It had gone well enough that Cadance now had her hopes up. She was starting to allow herself to dream just a little bit for her aunt and she worried about her aunt having dreams for herself. Celestia’s dreams had always been for the benefit of others.

“Cadance…”

Lifting her head, Cadance saw a scowl of concentration upon her aunt’s face. She had at least stopped pacing back and forth. Cadance would say nothing of course, but her aunt was nervous enough that she was leaving damp hoofprints on the floor because of her sweaty frogs. This was a private moment, a treasured thing for Cadance, this was the Celestia that nopony saw, even Twilight for all of her knowledge of Celestia never saw Celestia at her worst.

“Cadance, darling, how old is he if you don’t mind me asking… I feel I am entitled to know.”

“Auntie, in time—”

“No, Cadance, I really must insist upon knowing right now so I can make a decision.” Celestia’s voice was firm, stern, hard and flinty. “I have done everything to respect your process, but now you need to respect mine.”

“Auntie, he’s old enough to die for you in your service… old enough to be shipped overseas and do battle on another continent. He’s old enough—”

“How old?” Celestia turned a commanding eye upon Cadance.

Ears drooping, Cadance knew when she was defeated. She bent her neck to appease her aunt. She had brought up a good point and Cadance needed to respect her aunt’s way of dealing with things. Cadance coughed, cleared her throat, and then replied, “He’s fifteen.”

“Cadance, really? Fifteen?” Celestia looked stunned as she stood there, blinking at her niece.

It was time to salvage this mess. Cadance’s brows knitted and her expression became almost as stern as her aunt’s. She forced her ears to rise, almost as if she was raising her flag, her battle standard in preparation for a pitched, protracted fight. Celestia of course would dash her against the rocks in mere seconds if she wanted to do so, but Cadance was a captain who would go down with her ship in every way that mattered.

“As I have stated, he is old enough to die for you in your service. He’s a very mature and responsible fifteen year old. He sends most of his paycheck home to his mother so she can live comfortably. He joined the guard when he was fourteen, the minimum age, and he had his mother’s permission. Plus, all of this is your fault.”

“My fault?” Celestia blinked in shock and surprise. “My fault? How is this my fault? Do tell!”

Feeling pleased with herself, Cadance felt her courage surge. She had Celestia confused and on the defensive. Now, she had to make a calculated strike and hope for the best. “Yes, your fault. You wanted a virgin! Do you know how hard it is to find a virgin now in modern society that is of a reasonable age? Or among the guard? Your guards screw anything that walks and if it doesn’t walk, they’re polite enough to check for a pulse first.”

Score! Cadance could see that she had made a direct strike upon Celestia’s heavy armor. She watched her aunt take a step backwards and Cadance wondered if a follow up strike would be necessary. Celestia’s ears were raising and lowering as her lips moved, but no words were coming out, at least for now. Cadance chose direct bombardment.

“It isn’t like the age matters. No matter what, no matter who, you are robbing the cradle. As an extra added bonus, if we find you a nice young colt, you’ll get a few extra years that you might not get with a fully matured adult male. You might get a full century out of this relationship. You get to teach him how to do all of the right things and I daresay that you’ll be learning a few things from him. He’s smart, witty, and kind… he’ll make for a fantastic consort and Shining Armor is already vetting him.”

Cadance, feeling immense personal satisfaction, watched Celestia go down in flames. Down her aunt went, her backside making a muffled ‘whump!’ sound as it hit the stone floor. Celestia’s wings went limp against her sides and her mouth hung open.

“Auntie, please… let this happen... this could be the most wonderful thing that might happen to you during this era. Don’t let such a trifling thing such as a few years of age rob you of your happiness. Please?” Cadance, as a last ditch effort, turned the sad foal eyes upon her aunt and allowed her lips to pucker into a well practiced pout.

“Very well, Cadance. I raise the white flag of surrender. I have some real reservations about this, but I shall trust your judgment on this issue. After all, you would not have chosen to commit to this action had you not thought it through and reflected upon the potential consequences.”

“Good.” Cadance’s expression became one of joyful triumph and she leaned forwards. “This is good. Because you have another date tonight—”

“What?”

The shocked look upon her aunt’s face was priceless and Cadance would be savouring it for years to come. “You have another date tonight. A blind date. My client found his courage. I spoke with him earlier this morning. Unlike you, he’s not a big fraidy pony. He’s excited, eager, and champing at the bit to continue forwards. If things go well tonight, we might even do a reveal.”

“Cadance, I feel as though this is being rushed.” Celestia shook her head.

“Auntie, we move when my gut feelings and hunches tell me. That’s how the process works. I bring ponies together. That is what I do. I bring ponies together that are meant to be together and I remove all of the obstacles that keep them from each other. I remove all of the barriers that keep them from being happy. You move the sun and you keep everything as regular as clockwork. Love is not like the sun… it’s more like a whirlwind. Stuff happens on its own schedule. You really can’t control it, you can only guide it and then watch it happen.”

“Love is a fire… you ignite it and run away before you get burned,” Celestia said.

Cadance shrugged. Being burned was part of the job and she had learned to minimise risks long ago. One eyebrow arched and Cadance pushed her advantage. She felt as though she was now able to deal with her aunt as an equal and she was confident that she could make this work.

“If the reveal happens tonight, he’ll know who you are. He will be told to be discreet of course. Shining Armor is already preparing for all of the hard work ahead. He doesn’t strike me as the type that will go bragging and boasting to his fellow guard that he went on a date with some stupid sexy white alicorn—”

“Mi Amore Cadenza!”

“What?” Cadance blinked at her aunt and tried to look as innocent as possible.

“Cadance!”

“What?” Cadance repeated herself and refused to give ground.

“Cadance!” This time, Celestia shook her head to express her disapproval.

“Do you think you are the only one who has fantasies?” Cadance asked, playing a dangerous game of truth. “Let me tell you something… when I was younger, I used to have hot sticky dreams about plunging my muzzle deep into your marshmallowy goodness.”

“Cadance…” Celestia’s voice was a squeak.

“Yeah… think about that. I had the hots for teacher. It is a perfectly natural response. Most students have their first sexual fantasies about somepony that they trust. Somepony close to them, somepony safe and approachable. I indulged myself in a lot of imaginary role play and I enjoyed it for what it is… a fantasy. Having these normal, healthy sexual fantasies aided me in my sexual development. You could be my client’s sexual fantasy… come to life.”

This time, Celestia did not say Cadance’s name, but Cadance could see her aunt chewing on her lip. Celestia was still sitting on the floor, looking very much like an oversized confused filly.

“I used to dream that you would grade me on my performance,” Cadance admitted just so she could watch her aunt squirm.

The room filled with the rustle of feathers as Celestia extended one wing and began to fan herself. Cadance smiled, feeling satisfied, and she felt no need to mention to Celestia that Shining Armor had also had similar fantasies about being teacher’s pet or that Cadance herself had played the role of a very naughty Princess Celestia on more than one occasion and had put Shining into detention.

“I’m very flattered that you thought of me that way,” Celestia said in a low voice that sounded nothing like her usual eloquent manner.

“Do you think you can handle a reveal tonight, should I think the time is right?” Cadance asked. She watched as her aunt’s muzzle wrinkled and Celestia’s ears twitched like tiny semaphore flags trying to send a message of extreme discomfort. “It is going to happen sooner or later. You can’t hide the alicorn in the room for very long. It’s like tearing off a bandage. ‘Tis better to rip it off in one go rather than slow torture.”

“Cadance, try to give me a little more time.”

Cadance, hearing pain in her aunt’s voice, acquiesced. After her earlier victory, she would have to be satisfied. She nodded in agreement and studied Celestia’s face, hoping to understand her aunt.

“If you truly think the time is right for a reveal, then do so, but as a personal preference, I would like more time. I trust you to do the right thing.” As Celestia spoke, her wing folded against her side.

“Continuing with the bandage analogy,” Cadance began, “love is like jumping into chilly water to go for a swim. Wading out into the cold water is torture… it is far better to just dive in and get it over with. That’s the thing with love, Auntie, it is best to give yourself over totally and completely and then see what happens. For too many ponies, they hesitate. They’re slow. They want to be in control.” Cadance paused and considered her words for a moment and she watched Celestia listening.

“That’s why first love is so heady and powerful. We just throw ourselves in and we’re swallowed whole by it. The experience consumes us. For many, this is the only love they will ever know, like Twilight’s parents, Night Light and Twilight Velvet. For ponies like you”—Cadance gestured at her aunt with her hoof and shook her head—“you’ve experienced that magical first love and now it is gone. It’s left you wounded and hurt. You can’t throw yourself in. You can’t give yourself over. It is very difficult to recapture that heady rush of first love the second time around because we become conditioned to be hurt… to be harmed… our tender hearts will not allow us to just give ourselves over so completely.”

Cadance saw Celestia’s gaze drop to the floor and her aunt closed her eyes.

“So we guard our hearts and most of us will never know that rush of all consuming love ever again. Each time we love afterwards, we become more guarded, more bitter, more cynical, more jaded, life continues to wear us down until at last, our hearts become stone and we feel only the barest of emotions. Scar tissue becomes hardened and scars on top of scars prevent us from feeling the most magical of all emotions, it robs us of the very thing that rewards us for making life continue.” Cadance watched as Celestia lifted her head and looked at her.

“Since when did you get so wise?” Celestia asked.

“Oh, I had a great teacher. A wonderful, wise, and witty teacher… who was just a little bit sexy.” Cadance kept a straight face but she saw a faint, sad smile spread over Celestia’s muzzle. “One day, it is my most sincere hope that I can find a way to remove all scars from a pony’s heart and allow them to feel love unfettered and free once more. It is my hope that all love will feel like first love and ponies will be happy.”

“That is a noble goal,” Celestia said to her niece in a husky, raspy voice that bubbled with emotion like a boiling cauldron.

Cadance laughed, hoping that her laughter would make Celestia feel a little bit better. “Hey, a mare has to have hobbies…”

Author's Note

Next chapter: second date.

Chapter 5

Sighing, Princess Celestia looked at her slumbering sibling and smiled. Luna had fallen asleep at the table, her head resting upon a plate of sweet rolls. Luna’s wings twitched against her sides with each exhale and inhale. Poor Luna tried so hard to be awake during the day, but she could be downright narcoleptic while the sun was shining. Luna’s ethereal mane drifted in and out of her water glass and a tiny, twinkling star caused Luna’s drink to glitter like a glassful of diamonds.

Luna was happy. She was happier now in general, ponies had come to enjoy her night, Luna’s loneliness had been eased, and Celestia had discovered that her sister was downright joyous to find out that Celestia was dating. A half drank cup of coffee steamed near Luna’s head, a cup that would never be finished.

While Luna had been awake, she had offered a little helpful advice. Celestia had endured a gentle scolding from Luna on the age issue. If it hadn’t been his age, Celestia had admitted to her sister that she would have found something else to focus upon, some reason to try and back out. Celestia now understood why Cadance chose anonymity; had Celestia found some other detail to focus upon, she might have also used that as an excuse or as a reason to try and escape this. Luna had somehow restored some of Celestia’s confidence; she had a way of doing that. Luna, who had a fragile confidence of her own somehow always knew just what to say or just what to do. Luna knew how to fix things and make them right.

Celestia was feeling far more confident for this date. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen. She did her best to ignore her tense muscles and the fact that the space beneath her wings felt like furnaces. She tried to ignore the hint of a headache that throbbed at the base of her skull, the dull thudding sensation resonating through her head and making her hesitant to blink her own eyelids out of the fear of upsetting the lurking beast.

Alone, with nopony to talk to at the moment, Celestia’s mind slipped into the past. Long ago, she had been the outgoing one. She had friends, friends that she now missed a great deal. She had everything; she went to balls, parties, events of great importance, many of which were held in her honour. It was her popularity and her outgoing nature that had been the source of Luna’s jealousy, but Celestia had not paid attention; she continued to be a social butterfly, flitting from event to event, she was always the belle of the ball. But after Luna’s stumble… Celestia blinked and tried to force the melancholy thoughts from her mind. Those had been dark times indeed. She had retreated, withdrawn, Luna was all alone on the moon and Celestia had been all alone in Canterlot.

She had punished herself for her failure, an issue that Celestia still had trouble with even now, an issue that still needed sorting out but Celestia could not seem to find a way to deal with it. Reaching over the table with a wing, Celestia touched her sister’s cheek, which was sticky and had a raisin clinging to it.

There were only a few hours left to wait.

The night air was cool against her feverish body and a strong breeze tickled her wings. Tonight’s date was held in a garden, but Celestia did not know which one. She had been blindfolded before even going into the carriage. The air was perfumed with flowers and the strong scent tickled her nose. Knowing that she could not be seen or heard, she spread her wings and allowed for a cooling breeze to travel beneath them.

She was lead along a gravel path for a time and then she noticed the cool grass beneath her frogs. She struggled not to giggle as she felt the grass prickling against the tender flesh of her frogs. Celestia wore shoes for practical reasons—she was ticklish and most ponies did not know this. Her hoofwear was practical and protected her from suddenly having the giggles at the most inopportune moments, such as walking over deep pile shag red carpets.

Shining Armor said nothing as they walked and it was almost as if she was being lead along by a ghost. Celestia’s nervousness became a feeling of giddiness, and then, to make matters worse, she thought about the things Cadance had said about both her and Shining Armor. Unable to stop herself, Celestia began to titter as she was led along.

There was a gentle push upon her backside and she eased herself down into the grass while trying not to snort or giggle. The world went silent and she couldn’t even hear the sounds of Shining Armor’s hooves upon the grass as he departed.

“Hello again…”

A warm flush crept up Celestia’s neck. “Well hello there.”

“You sound a bit better tonight.”

Celestia marveled at how much more relaxed she felt. Her ears weren’t straining to hear and she was rather relaxed, all things considered. She thought about the potential reveal and the thought didn’t scare her as much as it did earlier.

“I feel better tonight,” Celestia replied.

“Cadance and I had a long talk earlier today and I sorted a few things out. Last night was really good for me and I made progress in my treatment plan. I’m in a great mood.”

“I’m really glad to hear that.” And Celestia was, in fact, glad to hear that. She wasn’t just making small talk, her words were sincere. She eased herself down into the grass a little more, going from a sitting position to a laying position, and she crossed her forelegs over one another. She drew in a deep breath and tried to figure out what sort of flowers she was smelling. The scent was a distraction, but it was a good distraction. Something about the smell put her in a romantic mood.

Wishing to banish the silence, Celestia took the initiative. “I know you have a treatment plan, and I know that you don’t know what to do as far as school, but do you have any plans or desires for yourself?”

After a moment’s wait, there came a reply. “I want to start a family. Even though I was hurt, it is still something I want. Being hurt hasn’t changed that. I want to be a father… well, in time. After our talk last night, I’ve decided that I am going to go back to school as soon as I can and I’m going to be a history major. After hearing what you said, I guess I kind of found my confidence.”

Celestia found herself smiling as she listened. “And why do you wish to be a father at such a young age?”

“I never knew my father.” There was a long silence and somewhere off in the distance, faint music could be heard. “My mother was a single mother and she was the most amazing mother ever. But things were hard for us even though she tried really hard. She had to drop out of school to have me and take care of me. But she made it work. I want to be a dad… because I think it will make me feel better and I want my mother to be proud of me. I, uh, really care about what my mother thinks about me and I want her to be proud of me. I kind of disappointed her by dropping out of school, but after things have cooled off, she has admitted that it was necessary. I was in a really toxic situation and it was hurting my mental health.”

“You can always get back into school and make your mother proud.” Celestia, still smiling, began to fan herself with her wing, trying to make a little breeze to cool her flustered features. “And I would be as well. With you as my potential suitor, I must confess, I have certain standards.”

“Oh really?”

“Really.” Celestia found herself nodding even though she could not be seen.

“I have standards too.”

“Do you now?” Celestia, grinning, was intrigued.

“I want to marry young and I don’t want to get involved with anypony unless they are willing to entertain the idea of marriage.”

Oh, that was intriguing. “Why is that?”

“Well…” There was a pause and then a chuckle. “I tell my mom and anypony that asks that it is because I want to do the right thing and do right by my traditionalist values, but from a practical standpoint, I have certain needs that I have trouble ignoring and do not wish to stumble. I want to hold true to what I believe in, but it is growing increasingly difficult to do. I’m young and I have all of the vigour of youth.”

“That is very honest of you to admit that,” Celestia said to her date.

“I’m pent up.”

Hearing those words, Celestia’s mouth went dry and she felt her dock clench.

“I’m pent up and I’m so scared of letting myself down. I don’t want to compromise my values. Both my therapist and Cadance both say that I need to be patient, hold on, and wait until I find somepony that shares my values. Cadance says that when I do, she’ll be pent up too from all the waiting and everything will be worth the wait.”

“I have also been waiting.” Celestia agonised over what to say next, how much to reveal, and if Cadance would step in before too much was revealed. While there was some tension, Celestia felt rather relaxed, all things considered.

“I know you’ve been married before, Cadance told me, and she said you were just a little bit older than me. I don’t mind, I know stuff happens. Ponies die and divorces happen. I’m okay with whatever took place.”

Something about the colt’s words endeared him to Celestia, but she could not say why. Her curiousity grew and she began to wonder what he looked like. As she sat there, wondering what to say and listening for more precious words, she realised that she was smelling gardenias and magnolias. The air was heavy with their scent. The grass was cool against her stomach and her most sensitive, ticklish places that had gone far too long without a proper tickle.

“Do you enjoy being in the guard at all?” Celestia asked.

It took a moment, but there was a reply. “I go back and forth. There are times when I don’t like it, but there are times when it is great. I was smart enough to get into the signal corps, so I don’t have to worry about the really rough, hard stuff. I’m a pencil pusher. The signal corps is jokingly referred to as the ‘chair force.’ I’ve learned a lot about communications and I’ve been taking courses in both command and public speaking. My commanding officer says that if I go to university, I could stay in the guard and become an officer. I don’t know if I’ll do that, but I might. I just don’t know yet.”

“I have some experience in command,” Celestia said in a low voice. “I hold rank in the guard, but I have stepped down from active duty.”

“So… you deal in futures, securities, energy management, and you’ve been in the service. I’ll admit, I’m perplexed. I know you are being honest with me, Cadance wouldn’t allow you to lie, but for the life of me, I can’t make out how you’ve done so much. All I know is, I am way out of my league and I can’t wait to get to know you better.”

Celestia giggled and had trouble stopping. “A mare has to have hobbies. I like to try and remain in a constant state of self improvement. I read when I can get the chance. I remain permanently enrolled in Canterlot University. They don’t tell you this, but if you get the lifetime learning plan and have at least one pony who has the lifetime learning plan recommend you, it is quite cheap. You could afford it on your guard scholarship, however, you’d need to come up with a little bit of extra funding. But they don’t advertise it at all.”

“Could you endorse me?” Celestia’s date asked without a moment’s hesitation.

“Oh, I could see myself doing that,” Celestia replied. “We could go to classes together. I find intellectual pursuits stimulating.”

“Really? You would go to classes with me?”

“Oh, certainly.” Celestia felt a growing excitement. This wasn’t quite planning out a future together, but this was nice and it filled her with a sense of hope. “When we get to know each other better, you will come to understand why any potential mates of mine have to be driven to live up to their full potential. If we were to stay together, I cannot promise it would be an easy life for you. Much will be expected.”

“Oh, I understand. I have expectations too.”

“Do tell,” Celestia said in the most inviting manner she could muster with her artificial voice.

“I want foals. Like I said, I want to be a father. And I want the mare I marry to be a good mother, but not just any mother. She has to be a teacher. She has to instill a sense of values. She has to be a good moral guide because everything good about a pony begins at home and it typically starts with what a mother teaches her foals. Take my mom for example… she knows that she made some mistakes when she was younger, but she owned up to them. She used them to teach me about why I had to be responsible, to be good, and to strive to do the right thing whenever possible. She’s really special and I love her so much.”

“So you really are serious about starting a family, I take it?” Celestia felt a growing sense of annoyance with her blindfold. She wanted to take it off. She wanted to feel a cool breeze upon her face. She wanted to see the pony she was speaking to.

“I once read that colts that grow up with single mothers statistically become bad fathers themselves and have foals out of wedlock. I want to prove that I can beat those odds.”

There were worse goals in life. Celestia considered her date; he was motivated, he was smart, and she found herself liking him.

“I have to prove that I can do things right. I have to prove that all the hard work my mother did was worth it. Everything we went through together, all of the sacrifices she made, how she suffered, I want her to know that everything she did wasn’t in vain.”

Celestia said nothing, but those were some noble goals and aspirations she could get behind. She understood, and could appreciate what the colt was doing.

“That’s why I send my mother most of my pay. I don’t have to do it, but she worked so many jobs and spent so many hours working so hard to care for me. Now, she doesn’t have to work. I send her enough money to pay the rent and be comfortable and she can finally take a well deserved break. Now that I’ve made up my mind about going back to school, I plan to have a career that will allow me to take care of her. She’s very special to me and I owe her so much.”

“I understand what it means to give yourself over completely so that the needs of others can be looked after.” Celestia took a deep breath. “I have… I have a lot of ponies that I look after and take care of. I suppose you could call them family. I’ll confess, I see myself as their mother and I give of myself as much as I can to make sure that their needs are provided for.” Celestia thought of her school, her subjects, and of Equestria. She could say nothing of the scope or the scale of the ponies she mothered.

“Who takes care of you?”

Celestia turned her head in the direction from where she heard her date speaking. She tried to reply, but no words came out. She felt a shudder go through her as her barrel began hitching. She struggled to hold herself together and after several long moments of laboured breathing, she made the shudders subside.

“Nopony takes care of you… that’s awful.”

“That’s not entirely true. There are those who care for me. I suppose I’m stubborn though, and I try to mother them as well. I don’t really let them care for me and I resist if they try. It… it’s hard to stop being the caretaker after you’ve done it for so long.” Celestia began to wonder what sort of consequences there might be if she pulled off her blindfold. Not that she would; she would never disrespect Cadance in such a manner, but she could not help but wonder. While anonymity had its charms, Celestia wanted to see the face of the pony she was speaking with. She wanted to look into his eyes. She wanted to hear his voice.

Celestia found herself a bit infatuated. As strange as it might seem, she couldn’t deny it. No doubt, Cadance already knew all about it and Celestia would get an earful. She was looking forward to that earful because she wanted to praise Cadance for all of her hard work.

As she lay in the grass, the strong, heady scent of magnolia blossoms and gardenias tickling her nose, Celestia began to contemplate what it might be like to be in love. She began to wonder what a life together might be like. She began to be curious and open to the possibility of romance.

“It got quiet,” the colt said.

“I was thinking about getting to know you better,” Celestia replied. “I must confess, I find you intriguing.”

“You have my interest as well,” the colt confessed. “You know, the silences are far more noticeable when you are blindfolded. There’s nothing to look at and nothing else to do and talking keeps away the boredom.”

“I’m so scared,” Celestia blurted out, and she was certain that if she had her real voice it would be cracking. “I want you to know who I am, but I am so frightened that when you see me, any chances of us being together will be dashed upon the rocks.”

“I’m scared too,” the colt replied, “I don’t want to be a disappointment. I’m young and by the sounds of things, you’re a bit more mature than I am. I’m not sure what to make of that, but I’m worried that you’ll see me and you’ll think I’m too young and I really like talking to you and it is so easy to talk to you and I don’t want to ruin what we already have.”

“There is only one way we will know if this will work.” Celestia felt a growing lump in her throat as she spoke and once again, her frogs were becoming sweaty. “I don’t know if it is fair to keep this going… to keep our identities hidden. The more I think about it, the more I realise that it isn’t fair to you to not know who you are dealing with—”

Lips still moving, it took Celestia a moment to realise that she had been silenced. She hadn’t actually said anything and she wondered if Cadance was angry. Her ears drooped and she hoped that she could earn Cadance’s forgiveness.

“Before I say anything else, I am not angry,” Cadance said in a low voice from some distance. “But I do think a good point was made. The two of you seem to be comfortable with one another. Both of you are strong, exceptional individuals. Would you like the blindfolds removed?”

There was silence. The dead silence worried Celestia. Under her blindfold, her face felt hot and flushed. She felt a dreadful fear that matched the terror she had felt when she had heard Luna’s mad laughter over a thousand winters ago. It was ridiculous and absurd, but she could not deny it. When the blindfold came off, there was no way of knowing what would happen next.

“I’ll do it,” the colt said. “I’m sick of being afraid. I want to know and I want to see.”

Unable to speak, but not because of the silence spell, Celestia nodded, knowing that Cadance would see. She waited, not knowing what was about to happen, and she waited to have her blindfold removed.

“I think the two of you are ready to be introduced. Gosling, prepare yourself for a bit of a shock,” Cadance said in a firm voice of command. “I am going to introduce you to my aunt.”

Celestia felt a tug upon her blindfold…

Author's Note

A better edited version might appear in the morning. I don't know. There might be a typo or two lurking.

Have a pleasant night, folks.

Chapter 6

The soft sound of distant music reached Celestia’s ears as she stood looking at her date for the first time and her heart joined in with the music as it began to beat double time. Gosling was a pegasus and ooooh… what a pegasus. He was a little short, but Celestia wasn’t going to complain about that. Everypony was a little bit short compared to her. He was black or almost black down near his hooves, and his pelt became a lighter shade of grey further up, until he was the soft, sooty grey of a stormcloud along his back, his neck, and his head. His mane and tail appeared to be made of real silver in the soft light of the bright, colourful paper lanterns that hung around the garden.

His vivid grey eyes were locked upon her and he stood at attention. He hadn’t bowed, or fallen down and prostrated himself, he just stood there, staring, and Celestia took this as a hopeful sign. Or maybe it was just his guard training.

“Well, certain things now make a lot more sense,” Gosling said in a strained voice, his own natural voice. “Nevertheless, I am undeterred. Now, I am all the more determined to woo you.”

“Woo me?” Celestia blinked in surprise. “Do ponies even woo anymore?”

“This one does,” Gosling replied.

Celestia could hear both Shining Armor and Cadance giggling. She felt a hot flush creeping up her neck. Embarrassment? Desire? Giddiness? She couldn’t tell and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. She just wanted to keep looking at Gosling because he was easy on the eyes. Celestia was almost certain that the bold little colt had an impressive wingspan.

“Gosling… forgive me for asking, but I must know—”

“Yes?” The colt focused upon Celestia and something almost resembling a grin spread over his muzzle.

“I am positive that there is an interesting story involving your name and I have a powerful need to find out what it is,” Celestia said to her date. She stood, waiting, her heart thudding, wondering how this night would end. She saw Gosling take a deep breath and Celestia waited with growing anticipation.

“Funny story actually,” Gosling replied with only the faintest youthful squeak present in his voice. “I come from a long line of white or almost white pegasi. From what I understand, my father was also as white as the freshly fallen snow. My mother was quite surprised when she had me and her sister, my aunt, she jokingly referred to me as the ugly duckling. My mother was quite taken with this”—Gosling fell quiet for a moment and his soft grey cheeks darkened like stormclouds that threatened rain—“she named me Gosling because she loved her ugly little duckling. It was a fitting name too… she couldn’t keep me out of the water or out of the puddles. If it was wet, I had to jump into it. I still do, if I think I can get away with it. My sergeant gets upset and lectures me though.”

“Oh dear.” Celestia, feeling a little impish, had to swallow her smile and she focused her best stern, matronly stare upon the colt. “If you track mud through my castle, I shall have to banish you to the dungeon.”

“That might not be so bad.” Gosling sat back down in the grass and looked up at Celestia with wide, adoring eyes.

“Might not be so bad?” Celestia’s impishness was now accompanied by curiousity.

“Well, it depends, really… are you down in the dungeon with me, and if so, what are we doing?” Gosling arched one eyebrow and there was a mischievous gleam in his eye as he spoke.

A fire spread through Celestia’s belly. Gosling seemed to be a natural shameless flirt, but he had done so without being crass. He had left any implication of kink entirely upon her end. He was clever, he was bold, and he liked jumping in mud puddles. Celestia glanced out of the corner of her eye at Cadance, who stood a short distance away. She returned her gaze to Gosling. He was young, but he stood on the very brink of maturity. He was old enough to wear the armor and big enough to fill it out quite well.

The guards called younger members ‘clankers’ as they grew into their armor, but Celestia suspected that Gosling’s armor did not clank. A part of her wanted to see him in his armor. Another part of her wanted to see him in his armor and help him take it off. She bit her lip—it was far too early to be thinking about that, but she couldn’t help it. She liked ponies in armor. It was the quiet, unspoken reason why so many of the guard around the castle were male. It was nice to have a pleasant looking distraction. She knew Cadance had an armor fetish as well, there was a reason why Cadance had fallen so madly in love with Shining Armor.

“Madam, I am unsure how you would prefer for me to address you,” Gosling said.

Ears perking, Celestia noted that he had not called her ‘Majesty.’ In truth, in secret, she loathed that title. “I do have a name. So few call me by it. I would like it if you and I could address one another by our names.” Celestia saw Gosling bow his head, a low dip, not a real bow, but more of an acknowledgement.

“Shining Armor and I are just going to take a little walk over there.” Cadance let out a low giggle and brushed up against her husband as she spoke. She began her retreat, a wide grin upon her face, and Shining Armor followed at her side, behaving as the dutiful husband that he was.

Celestia watched them go, her ears perking as she heard giggles. She felt a little guilty for taking them away from their vacation, but also felt good about the fact that they were getting a chance to be together. Little Flurry Heart made many demands upon her parents; no doubt, Shining Armor and Cadance could use a little time away so they could spend time with one another.

“I don’t know what happens next,” Gosling said as Cadance and Shining vanished behind a tall hedge.

“What happens next?” Celestia asked.

“The rules… the protocol… whatever happens next. I am smart enough to understand that our dating will be complicated. I understand that things are going to be difficult if we choose to go forward. I know that the press will hound my mother and my fellow guards are going to harangue me and… and I just know that things are going to be tough.”

Looking at Gosling’s face, Celestia saw understanding, a bit of fear, but she also saw a determination that she admired. She was impressed with how canny he was, how smart he was, he had cottoned on quick. “Are you sure you are willing to endure all of this?”

Gosling’s reply was not what Celestia expected when she heard him say, “Are you?”

She bit her lip and began to chew, a nervous habit that she had never been able to break, even with prompting from close friends, like her assistant Raven. She rose, standing up with only the faintest unsteady wobble, and began to pace a little, just a little side to side, aware that Gosling’s eyes were following her every move.

As she paced, she looked at Gosling, and her eyes were snared by a glimpse of yellow. Craning her head, she looked at Gosling, trying to see what the yellow was, but trying to do it in such a way that she did not appear to be staring. She failed. Wide eyed, she focused upon his backside, her ears pitching forwards as she said—

“That’s a rubber ducky.”

“Uh, that’s an embarrassing story.” Gosling’s voice had a bit more of a squeak to it.

“A rubber ducky cutie mark...”

“Yes.”

“A rubber ducky cutie mark… that’s adorable!”

“Oh no, not you too.” Gosling shook his head. “Do you know how impossible it is to be intimidating as a guard with a rubber ducky cutie mark? My cutie mark’s only saving grace is the fact that it is one of those nebulous cutie marks that allows me to do whatever I’d like as an adult.” As Gosling spoke, he chuckled.

Stepping forwards, Celestia had to have a better look. She dropped her head a bit lower and peered at the rubber ducky through somewhat narrowed eyes. For a brief moment, she wondered if Gosling would quack if she squeezed him. She was sorely tempted. She lifted her head high and straightened her long, swanlike neck. It was considered poor behaviour to randomly pick up little ponies and squeeze them, and finding them adorable was no excuse. Upon her return, Luna had to learn about new concepts like personal space and still had trouble dealing with being social. If rumours were to be believed, Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness, was a known squeaker.

Celestia sat down beside Gosling, close enough to touch, but she kept to herself. She sat without worry of grass stains, content and happy to be herself. She was both tense and relaxed at the same time. Gosling was rather handsome, rubber duck cutie mark or no, and she found herself enjoying his company. She wondered if he was as conflicted on the inside as she was.

“I must confess, I find myself attracted to you,” Celestia admitted in a low voice. “I find myself curious about you and I want to get to know you better. Things are going to be very difficult though. I am sure that you realise that certain things will be expected of you if you choose to continue to court me.”

“I understand that getting back into school will be important,” Gosling said, making a smooth interjection when he had his chance, “and that I will have to endure constant self improvement. I shall have to make myself worthy of you. I’m not too worried about that, but there is something that does scare me.”

“And that is?” Celestia asked.

“My mother,” Gosling replied, “and her privacy. Once word of this gets out, she is going to be harassed. I am a very patient pony and I am not a violent sort as I have told you, but I am very, very protective of my mother.”

“That is an admirable quality.” Celestia looked at Gosling and saw his wings fidgeting. She guessed that he was every bit as nervous as she was on the inside. A part of her wanted to comfort him, a deep maternal part, but she ignored it. As a potential suitor, this was one pony that she could not mother. She would have to be careful and guarded, as she did not want to hurt his feelings or diminish him.

“I will confess, I have many questions, such as how do I approach you? Am I allowed to touch you? Am I allowed to be near you in public or do we have to hide our affection? I’m sure there are rules, but I don’t know them.” Gosling shook his head and his ears splayed out sideways as his mane tumbled down into his eyes.

In that moment, seeing his face, his expression, Celestia felt a tugging on her heart. She felt a tangible spark that made her insides jerk. Cadance had done her work a little too well. Seeing Gosling as he was, his mane spilling down, his ears out sideways, there was something attractive about him. As for his maturity, Celestia found her doubts falling away from her. He was approaching all of this with a level headedness and maturity that impressed her.

“I would like for the public to see you wooing me,” Celestia replied in a soft voice. “Well, the occasional peek I suppose. Like anypony else, I like my privacy. We shall have to sort this out. To be honest, I’m not sure how to proceed. I plan to ask Cadance for advice, as she has dealt with this and has experience.” As she spoke, she saw Gosling’s neck muscles twitch and seeing it caused her own body to react. A searing warmth radiated through her stomach and she felt sweat beading up along her navel.

Having such large wings was just as much of a disadvantage as it was an advantage. All of those feathers acted as powerful insulators and it was far too easy to overheat, which is why she walked around with her wings out. It wasn’t so she could look majestic, or intimidating, even though she was aware of how it looked, but just so she could get a cooling breeze along her sides.

She felt a twinge of nervousness—she didn’t want to be a sweaty, stinky pony, but at the same time, she didn’t want to spread her wings and give Gosling the wrong idea. The night air was cool, but it just wasn’t reaching enough of her. She gritted her teeth and thought about the many things a mare must endure.

“I take it that you want to have a family?” Gosling asked. “Like Cadance?”

“I think I would,” Celestia replied, now feeling even sweatier and more nervous. She felt self conscious, but also giddy, light headed, and strange. “I want the same things as anypony else. I might be the immortal alicorn of the sun, but I have the same needs, the same desires… I am still flesh and blood.”

“I know that you’ve been in love before me,” Gosling said in a low, quiet voice, “in fact, I would imagine that there have been quite a few before me. I understand that, but… and forgive me for being so direct, but when were you loved last? I mean loved… I’m not just talking about, well, you know, but everything that comes along with it.”

Celestia closed her eyes and she felt her stomach muscles clenching. A lump grew in her throat. She had the strange, unwelcome feeling of not knowing if she was going to giggle or throw up. She tried to force herself to calm and thought about Gosling’s words. She was startled by a warm, somewhat damp nose pressing into her neck. She jerked backwards, every muscle in her body seizing up in fear and surprise, and when she opened her eyes, she saw Gosling looking up at her with a wide, fearful stare. She hadn’t heard him creep up on her. He was close, so close, so close that she could smell him, and she was paralysed with the most unreasonable fear that she was smelly.

A gentle nosing, a common, simple exchange between two ponies, had almost caused her to come undone. Her breath caught in her dry, now parched throat. She looked down, unable to turn away, feeling almost as though she was unable to blink, fearful that if she did, he would take advantage of her moment of blindness and nose her again. She could see the concern in his grey eyes. The ground beneath her tilted and for one alarming moment, Celestia worried that she was going to fall into the two shimming grey pools that were Gosling’s eyes. Real panic gripped her, terrible panic, and Celestia worried that her fear would overcome her.

She struggled to breathe, but could not seem to get air in or out of her throat. She struggled to suck in some much needed air, her lungs burning, and she felt her unblinking eyes beginning to dry out. She could hear her own heart pounding in her ears, and she could feel it thumping in her throat, a large, pulsating lump that blocked her airway. Little squiggles of light swam in her vision. She was too hot, far too hot, and her wings felt far too heavy to lift. She should have done more to cool off, but now, it was too late.

With a gasp, she felt herself pitching over, her vision blurred, and the last thing she was aware of was the sensation of two forelegs gently encircling her neck. She slipped into blackness without a word, going into the velvet depths of the unknown, her last thought was of Gosling and what he must think of her.

Author's Note

Another cliffhanger! Mwahahahahahah! :trollestia:

Chapter 8

The royal gardens were in bloom and held the promise of the perfect evening. The sun lingered near the horizon, almost as if it couldn’t decide to continue along its journey just yet. Princess Celestia held her head high and waited, a soft, warm smile gracing her muzzle as her companion moved to keep up with her.

Her consort, Gosling, struggled with the simple task of walking. He teetered along on creaking knees, his joints popping, and a pained grimace could be seen upon his face. Celestia watched him, an expression of love visible upon her regal features. Cadance had said that she would get a century out of him, and Celestia had been blessed. Prince Consort Gosling had just celebrated his one hundred and twenty fifth birthday just a few days ago.

Where he had once been young and full of vigour, he was now old and full of mischief. He was still a shameless flirt, but with his vision problem, he tended to flirt with the maids, the drapes, or the dessert cart, and once, he had managed to make Cadance turn a very vivid shade of pink indeed. One eye had turned milky, but the other was still a piercing, vivid grey.

Gosling insisted on nosing her, giving her a good goosing, but now, he needed assistance. She had to stand very, very still and be patient so he could get just the right angle. He didn’t seem to be in a goosing mood at the moment, and his ability to swim had fled from him long ago. Right now, more than anything, he just seemed tired.

“Beloved…”

Ears perking, Celestia felt a tugging upon her heart. Even as old as he was, she still fell prey to his charms and she loved the sound of his voice, even if it was the voice of a tired, worn out old stallion.

“Beloved, I’m feeling tired… I think I need a rest. You’ve worn me out… well, you and our great, great… oh bother… I can’t remember how many greats there are… our granddaughter is a scamp… you’ll need to keep an eye upon her. Cadance will teach her to be a troublemaker now that Shining is no longer here to make Cadance behave.”

Celestia’s sad smile widened, but was no less sad. Prince Consort Gosling had lived a full, wonderful life. There was so much they had endured together. Invasions. Changelings. Monster attacks. Minotaur trade wars, three of them. Twilight Sparkle getting the alicorn flu. The birth of enough foals to start their own private army. Celestia’s many pregnancies were so common that the press got squirrelly if she wasn’t pregnant and there would be accusations that the royal family was having a squabble, perhaps even sleeping in different beds. Through everything, good or bad, Gosling had been her constant companion.

“I need to sit down,” Gosling said as one of his hips popped.

Saying nothing, Celestia led him over to a patch of grass, feeling a dull ache. The sun, perhaps sensing Celestia’s feelings, lingered near the horizon but did not go down. She felt Gosling brush up against her and even now, all these years later, his touch caused her to tingle; she still got chills running up and down her spine that made her feathers ruffle.

Celestia wished that some of her many foals were here now, but they were off living their own lives, doing good in the world, and they had all inherited their father’s sense of mother worship. Using her magic, she eased Gosling down onto the grass, making certain that he wasn’t jostled too much.

He bruised so easily now.

“The sunrise is beautiful,” Gosling said in a low voice as he craned his head to look at the distant sun. “You… you did a good job.”

Swallowing, Celestia did not correct him. Instead, she nuzzled him, brushing her muzzle up against his, which caused cool tingles to gallop up and down her spine. Her lips found his and she kissed him. He might be a little old, but he had aged like a fine wine. His kisses were still fiery, but that was about all that he could do. The kiss lasted until Celestia was sure that her heart would burst and then she pulled away, looking into Gosling’s eyes as she did so.

She was still holding him up with her magic and she felt him go limp. She eased him down into the soft, tender grass, cradling him in her magic. She heard his laboured breathing. The kiss had excited him just as much as it had her. He was laughing, just a little, a tired, worn out laugh, but a giddy sounding laugh nonetheless.

There was a soft clank from several guards as they snapped to attention. Celestia did not turn away at the distraction. She nosed Gosling once more, wanting to feel him against her, needing him in a way she could never fully explain. He completed her. Everything she was, all of it was made better by having him near. She had lived up to her full potential with him at her side.

“I’m tired,” Gosling gasped. “I hope you won’t be disappointed, but I need a nap. You’re just too much mare for me to handle. All that constant stud servicing. I was only too happy to oblige, of course.”

“Flatterer,” Celestia said in a voice loud enough for Gosling to hear her as she helped ease his head down to the grass. She lay down beside him, and with a sad, patient smile, she lifted his head and then placed it upon her foreleg so he would have something pleasant to rest upon. She felt him wiggle a little closer, or try to. His efforts were feeble in the extreme.

Beside her, she felt him tense up for a moment. There was one final breath, a deep, untroubled breath, then, Gosling shuddered and went still. Celestia squeezed her eyes shut, leaned her head over, and rested it upon Gosling’s neck, but doing so with the lightest touch possible. It was over, it had ended, Gosling had used up every precious second that he had been given.

As tears began to trickle down her cheeks, Celestia allowed the sun to set.

Almost blind with rage and grief, Celestia charged down the hall with gritted teeth and bloodshot eyes. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she roamed the halls, looking for her sister, Luna. She walked with her wings out and steam rose from her back. In her emotional state, she had trouble holding back and some of her harder hooffalls caused the marble floors to crack.

She felt Luna drawing nearer. Such cheek… such gall… such unmitigated gall. Grinding her teeth together, Celestia prepared herself to give Luna a piece of her mind. When she was done, Luna was going to be living in a different castle, preferably not one in Equestria.

At the end of the hall, the double doors opened and Celestia, almost blind with rage, had trouble even seeing her sister. She could only make a vague, blurry blue outline. A part of Celestia wanted to unleash her fury and let Luna have it.

“HOW COULD YOU!” Celestia’s voice caused the windows to shatter and she stomped her hoof to punctuate her words. A fissure opened up in the marble from the force of the blow.

“I couldn’t stop it from happening! I’m so sorry!”

Celestia, who had almost been driven mad with rage, now had immaculate sanity. Luna’s voice was filled with pain, her little sister was hurt. Celestia’s many emotions reversed as a sense of worry for Luna flooded through her. She could hear the fear, the pain, and the guilt in her sister’s voice.

“We doest apologise!” Luna’s voice was frantic with pain. “We cannot always control the magic… we feel fear, we sense weakness, and we answer!”

Now burning with shame, angry with herself, Celestia stormed forwards towards Luna, who did not move and was frozen with fear. There was a frightened shriek from Luna as Celestia wrapped her wings around her sister. The pair of them collapsed to the floor together, clinging to one another as guards began to file into the long hallway.

“I didn’t want to do it,” Luna sobbed, “I tried to make it stop.” The smaller of the two sisters sniffled and clung to her big sister’s neck. “When I realised what was happening, I did everything I could to make it stop but I was powerless.”

Celestia crushed Luna to her and tried to think of what to say. She was scared. She was terrified, even if she didn’t wish to admit it. A future with Gosling was so uncertain. There were so many unknowns. It was a future that would end in heartache. A sorrowful, mournful cry escaped Celestia’s lips and no matter how hard she squeezed her eyes shut, she could not staunch the flow of hot, burning tears. She felt Luna sobbing against her, she could feel Luna’s own tears against her neck.

“I’m sorry, Luna—”

“I am too!” Luna’s voice was almost a yelp of pain. “I never want to hurt you again!”

Brought together in pain, the two sisters did their best to console one another.

The remains of predawn tea was scattered over the table. Luna, red and bleary eyed, sat chewing upon a slice of raisin toast. Her muzzle was sticky, covered in both butter and jam. She ate with the vigour of one who turned to food for comfort. A thousand years ago, Luna lived during lean times, when food was scarce, and now, during this more modern age, Luna celebrated living in a land where there was plenty to eat.

Sitting across from Luna, Celestia nibbled upon a croissant, looking distracted. She had dribbled grape juice down her chin and it had trickled down her neck, leaving behind a purple stain. She glanced at her sister, felt a pang of guilt, and turned away.

Both seeing and sensing her sister’s guilty look, Luna blinked and swallowed her enormous bite of raisin toast. She smacked her lips, and kept her eyes focused upon her sister. “Thou doest know that thine guilt will only lead to more dreams.” Luna coughed, looked embarrassed for a moment, shook her head, and tried again. “Sister, when the guilt calls, when the fear beckons to me, I must answer.”

“I know, Luna,” Celestia said in a dull, flat voice. “And yes, I feel guilty right now. I assumed the very worst about you. Once again, I beg your forgiveness.”

“I cannot stop the dreams no more than you can stop the sun,” Luna replied and then chomped off a huge bite of raisin toast. She chewed with great vigour and much lip smacking, her table manners at least one thousand years out of date.

Tossing her half eaten croissant down upon a plate, Celestia snorted. “What do I do, Luna?”

“Fash yourf fearsh,” Luna replied around a mouthful of butter, jam, and raisin toast.

“How?” Celestia asked, shaking her head. “I’m not even sure what it is I am afraid of. I felt it, Luna, I felt that spark of love at first sight last night. It was so wonderful.” Celestia lifted up her teacup, poured more tea, and tossed in at least half a dozen sugarcubes. “But I will confess, I am afraid. I don’t want to complicate his life. I don’t want him to have to suffer. I don’t want him to worry about the safety and happiness of his mother. I don’t want—”

“Shush!” Luna gulped down her food and tried to lick the sticky from her lips, her orange tongue darting out for a moment. “Sister, it isn’t your place to make these decisions. It is his decision and you need to respect his ability to choose what is right for him.” Luna pointed her hoof at her sister. “You don’t have the right to take his freedom of choice away. He will make a decision, for good or for ill, and then he will live with the consequences.”

“And what of me and the consequences I face? I face them alone, Luna.” Celestia shook her head and felt more anger bubbling just beneath the surface as she knew that she was feeling sorry for herself. “He’ll be gone and I’ll be alone.”

“Such is the cost of our immortality. So long as there is a sun and a moon to mind, we will continue to do the tasks we are bound to.” Luna jammed the remains of her toast into her mouth, causing her cheeks to bulge, and when she bit down, jam dribbled down her chin, along with some butter.

Sipping her tea, Celestia considered her sister’s words. She thought about backing out. She still could. Gosling would be hurt, but he would recover. He was still young and resilient. It would sting though, Celestia knew that. It was one thing to be burned by a filly, it was a whole different issue to be burned by an alicorn princess. Celestia was confident that Gosling was strong enough to recover.

But he was handsome. He was bold. He was witty. He was a diamond in the rough and Celestia knew it. If there was anything that Celestia knew, it was potential. Gosling had potential. His mother had raised him right, as the expression went.

Potential. If Celestia kept him as a consort, he would live up to his potential. If she rejected him, she could not help but wonder if he would still live up to his full potential. Thinking about this caused her ears to droop down to the sides of her face. She took a sip of tea and scowled as her unsettled mind continued to torment her. Rejection would be robbing him of his potential.

There was also the matter of infatuation. Celestia suffered an inwards cringe. Infatuation? Was she being honest with herself? A part of her knew it was love, but it would soften the blow if she called it infatuation. She didn’t know what to do and she had a tough decision to make. She felt a headache coming on and she cursed the tension in her body. She wanted to go back to sleep. More than anything, she wanted to be back in her warm, comfortable bed.

“We’re going to be having a lot more early teas together,” Luna said in a sad voice.

“What makes you say that?” Celestia asked.

“Because of the nightmares you are soon to invite upon yourself,” Luna replied.

Looking at her sister, Celestia felt her blood run cold.

Author's Note

I regret nothing!

Chapter 9

Disappointment. Celestia was disappointed with herself. She could not help but cringe in shame when she thought about how she had treated Luna. She had behaved like a filly. For all that Celestia had faced, it seemed that love was almost always her undoing. She sat in her chambers, the curtains were closed, and no sun shone into her room.

Her regalia, her crown, and her shoes were scattered about the room. She had adorned herself with the intention of holding court, but when she had stood at the door, she found that she could not face the world. She had instead retreated. She was entitled to a day off. Raven could run the empire for the day without trouble.

What had she become? She thought of her many triumphs as well as her many failures. Her loves were listed among her failures and thinking about this made her heart ache. She struggled with her decision, very much like a dog worrying a bone. She went back and forth, all while experiencing the gamut of the emotional spectrum. Self loathing, self pity, anger, frustration, sadness, sorrow, grief, all of it had bubbled up from deep inside like spring water and poured out in the form of tears.

Celestia came to the conclusion that she was not the pony that she thought she was. She had been far too quick to turn upon her sister. What might have happened had she not stayed her rage? She had not dealt with her past hurts; she had only acknowledged them and moved on. That wasn’t the same as dealing with them.

Now, she was in her room moping after having one of the most magical, most wonderful nights of her life. And it had been wonderful. Gosling had been a perfect gentlepony. He had jumped into the dirty, mucky duck pond to swim with her. He had been open, honest, and sincere.

Celestia winced when she thought about how he deserved better.

He had fallen in love with a sham. He was infatuated with the image she had projected; the perfect, flawless, pristine, white, pure image that she showed off for the world to see. She was the pony that the world wanted her to be. What might the world think if it saw her as she was in her room right now?

Moping alone in her room only amplified her loneliness. She could go to her sister, but Luna was no doubt sleeping. If she went to Twilight, well, poor Twilight would no doubt have a meltdown if she saw her mentor in this state. Cadance was right out; if Cadance was here, Celestia had no doubt that she would be getting lectured. At some point, Cadance had grown up and become the ruler that Celestia had always hoped that she would be, but this came at the cost of having to hide from Cadance during moments of crisis, like now.

Frustrated, emotional, pent up, Celestia decided to go and rub one out in the bathtub.

After a long bath, Celestia felt no better. Nothing could satisfy the itch, the need for companionship. She paced her room, still angry and disappointed with herself. Only now, she felt even more unsettled, more out of sorts, and more ashamed. Looking after her own needs had never caused her to feel ashamed before and she was at a loss to explain why she felt the way she did.

In the tub, she had experienced a revelation; she needed somepony in her life. There was nothing worse than having to scrub your own back (or scratching your own itch) when you felt lonesome and down and in the dumps. This revelation only increased her anxious worry and left her feeling more unsettled. She wasn’t sure if she could go through with this. And it wasn’t like she could ask Cadance or Twilight to help her fix this problem. Well, she could, but things would never be the same afterwards. There would be too many complications. Twilight would rush off to find books while Cadance would no doubt be critiquing her performance. (Jerk smarter, not harder.) No, this was not something they could help her with.

Celestia stood on the fence; not knowing which way to go on the issue. She had heard it said that a good ruler could turn a fence into a podium, but she wasn’t sure how that applied to this situation. She certainly didn’t wish to stand at a podium and explain that she found no satisfaction during a private moment in the tub due to being so very lonesome.

Thus came the second revelation; Celestia desperately needed somebody to fill her generation gap. It wasn’t just emotional loneliness, but also physical. What she needed was at least three months on some nice tropical island, an endless supply of fruity rum drinks with little umbrellas, and somepony young enough as well as durable enough to survive the encounter. Somepony like Gosling. Celestia gnawed her lip as she thought about him. He did have a most impressive wingspan, she had seen it. She had even thought about it in the tub.

The guard had impressive physical fitness regimens and three months in the tropics would give Celestia a chance to grade their performance metric. She chewed on her lip some more and began to pace across her room, all while trying to keep her emotions in check.

If she did go through with it, she wondered how Equestria might feel if she eloped. She didn’t want to deal with the headache, the hassle, or the fuss. She also didn’t feel like waiting. She was thousands of years old. Waiting, while sometimes necessary, was for chumps. She had waited a thousand winters for Luna’s return and she wasn’t about to endure a needless wait to get married.

If she followed through with this. Therein was the rub, or the inability to rub, as the case might be. Failure to achieve climax in the tub was no reason to rush off and get married, but it had given her some focus. She had needs. Physical needs. Emotional needs. These needs could no longer be ignored.

What Celestia did not realise was that she was acting very much like a young filly in the throes of mad, crazy infatuation. As she paced, a powerful wave of nausea overcame her. She felt hot, flustered, and she itched all over even though she had just taken a long bath.

There was so much to consider… what if the changelings came back? What if Gosling was foalnapped and held for ransom? Celestia didn’t want to have to bring back orbital bombardment—the last time she had done it, the maps of the known world had to be rewritten and there was a lot of new coastline that had to be accounted for. Plus, asteroids were so difficult to aim properly. It was more of a crapshoot, really.

To love would mean having vulnerability. It would mean having a weakness. Leverage that could be used against her. The most precious thing in her life would be in constant danger. She had enemies. What if Grogar came back? There were still far too many thousand year old evils unaccounted for. Celestia bit down on her lip hard enough to draw blood. It stained her chin scarlet and dribbled down to the floor in a thin, narrow rivulet.

As for having foals… what was she thinking?

Almost paralysed by fear, she knew that sleep would offer no solace, no safety, she couldn’t even doze off or try to nap just to make this all go away. Luna’s magic would latch on to her scrambled emotions and there would be more nightmares, terrible nightmares, like watching Gosling die or reliving the day that she had that enormous pimple on her nose and nopony had bothered to tell her about it out of the fear of saying something.

She shuddered at the memory of the army of her school foals all calling their headmistress ‘Misses Rhino’ in a singsong voice. The corner of her left eye began twitching and the edge of her mouth joined in so they could dance a funky rumba together.

What would Gosling say if he saw her like this?

Scowling, Cadance approached the double doors to Celestia’s chambers. She had been given a worrisome report, a very troubling report indeed. Her aunt had been locked up in her room for most of the day and did not wish to be disturbed. She strode forward with purpose, determination, and confidence. Celestia would see her, Cadance was certain of that.

If not, she would just rip the doors right off of their hinges. She had just what her aunt needed to feel better, and by jolly, her beloved auntie was going to see it. Cadance took a deep breath, bracing herself, and wondered in what sort of state she would find her aunt. The castle staff said that several baths had been ran and that loud thumps had been heard in Princess Celestia’s private chambers.

Auntie needed therapy, of that, there could be no doubt. Cadance was already making arrangements. Until therapy could happen though, other countermeasures had to be employed, and Cadance knew that Gosling was hard at work on the surprise he had planned.

When she reached the double doors, she did not bother to knock. She gave a shove on the door, felt resistance, and scowled. Her horn glowed with a fierce light and the door was flung open. What she saw inside unnerved her.

Her aunt was in a sorry state. White feathers lay scattered across the floor like snowflakes. She had gone past preening her wings and had been plucking out her own feathers. She had chewed her lip to the point of being raw. Cadance shook her head, feeling disturbed and sad. The last time she had seen her aunt like this was days before Nightmare Moon’s return. Celestia had been preparing, she knew, and she had agonised over sending Twilight to go and deal with the threat. She had ripped the feathers out of her wings until she was a bloody mess.

“Hello Cadance,” Celestia said in a quavering voice.

Her lower lip protruding, Cadance stared at her aunt, noting the twitching, the tics, the chapped, shiny nostrils—she had a nervous habit of licking her snoot as well as chewing on her lips. Cadance could see flecks of blood upon her aunt’s white wings. Cadance decided to have a stern word with somepony about leaving Celestia alone, and the most likely target was Raven. Raven of all ponies should have known better. There would be words. Many, many words.

Celestia shifted from side to side. “I’ve been trying to sort a few things out.”

“I can see that,” Cadance said in a gentle voice, the same voice that she used as a foalsitter when she had to explain why a splinter had to come out or that medicine had to be taken.

“I thought about abdicating the throne again.” As Celestia spoke, Cadance noticed the crown that had been melted in the corner. The gems had been crushed into a fine, glittery powder.

Striding forwards, Cadance shook her head. The toughest mare she knew was also one of the most fragile. Celestia’s hardness came with a brittleness to match. Down deep beneath it all, Celestia had the tenderest of hearts.

“Auntie, I have a surprise for you,” Cadance said as she drew nearer to her aunt.

“Oh?” Celestia’s eyebrow arched and her cracked, chapped lips formed a crooked, pained smile.

“Gosling has been working on a surprise—”

“Oh no, Cadance, no… he can’t see me like this.” Celestia shook her head and began to back away. “I need some time, Cadance. I’ve been thinking… thinking about everything and trying to sort out how I feel.”

“I see that,” Cadance replied in a soft, soothing voice. She took another step forwards. “I’m sorry, Auntie, but I’m not going to let you wiggle out of this—”

“But he can’t see me this way,” Celestia hissed as she took another step backwards.

“Yes, he can. Let’s face it, at some point, he is going to see you like this. I think he’ll surprise you. Give him a chance.” Cadance took another step forwards, blinked her eyes, and focused her commanding stare upon her aunt. “Don’t make this difficult. Don’t make me wake Luna and call Twilight for help—”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Celestia said, snarling as she retreated from her advancing niece.

“Try me.” Cadance’s voice had a flat hardness.

“Cadance, please don’t,” Celestia pleaded, the anger melting from her voice as she began to beg. “Cadance, don’t make me go through with this. I just can’t deal with it.”

“Not by yourself, no.” Cadance softened her voice as Celestia had switched to bargaining rather than outright denial or anger. “You were happy last night. I felt love in you. I will not allow that to be cast aside or thrown away. Auntie, there will be a knock down, drag out, good old fashioned throw down if you do this to yourself. I will not allow this to happen. As the Princess of Love, my authority is greater than yours in this particular instance. And as the pony you call your niece, I have a responsibly to look after the needs of my aunt, especially if she becomes unable to look after her own needs.”

“I suppose you do,” Celestia replied, trying to sound reasonable.

Pointing towards the bathroom with her wing, Cadance took another step forwards. “Now, I am going to help you get sorted out and then get you cleaned up. Afterwards, you will join me on the balcony. We mustn’t waste time, and you shall soon see why…”

As she pulled her aunt towards the balcony doors, Cadance heard her whimper. For a moment, Cadance feared that she was going to have to drag Celestia through the double doors, but then she felt her aunt move once more. Cadance opened up the doors and stood beside them, gesturing for her aunt to step through.

Celestia needed a little reassurance, but with Cadance’s tender touch, she was coming around. She needed just a little reassurance, that was all. A little firm reassurance from somepony that she loved and trusted. Cadance knew all about trust. As one of the cornerstones of love, Cadance had a sense for trust and a powerful intrinsic knowledge of its workings.

“Come on, Auntie,” Cadance said in a gentle, coaxing voice. “Step through these doors and let somepony love you.”

Blinking, Cadance watched as her aunt passed through the doors…

Squinting, Celestia’s eyes burned as she stepped out into the bright sunlight. The sun was setting and shining right into her eyes. She had been indoors all day with the curtains closed, hiding in her darkened room. She blinked a few times, her eyes watering, and then, she noticed a flying figure in the distance, a blurry outline that flitted and darted about.

It took Celestia several long minutes of staring before she understood what she was seeing. Gosling was flying around—there was no doubt that it was Gosling—and he was creating a sunset.

He was using clouds in the same way a painter used watercolours. He was arranging fluffy clouds of various transparencies and thickness, placing them in the line of sight between the balcony and the setting sun. Purples, golds, pinks, vivid shades of orange, bright blues, smears of indigo, and lurid shades of red could be seen. He used thinner clouds as prisms to scatter the light and thicker clouds like projector screens to slow and capture the scattered light from the thinner clouds.

The overall effect was breathtaking. Celestia’s mouth dropped open and she stood there staring, her eyes wide, having never seen anything quite like this. The small spark of love in her breast became a searing inferno and, feeling overheated, Celestia almost knocked Cadance right off of the balcony when her wings snapped out from her sides with a loud ‘POMF!’ Even in her somewhat disheveled, frazzled state, Celestia was still a magnificent creature.

The sun drifted lower into the sky, increasing the light show being created by Gosling. He darted about, moving with great speed, shoving clouds around the sky, trying to capture the glory of the setting sun. He pounded on some, making them denser, and stretched out others like they were cotton candy.

“Don’t throw this away,” Cadance whispered to her stupefied aunt who stood with her mouth agape. “I assure you, you will not find a love this perfect for another eon or two. Please, please do what is right for yourself.”

“I submit,” Celestia replied, “I raise the white flag of surrender.”

Standing side by side, Celestia and Cadance watched the sun settle down on the distant horizon together. Celestia had a lovestruck gleam in her eye and a brilliant, beaming smile graced her muzzle. Cadance, standing beside her aunt, had a triumphant smile of victory.

Once again, she had brought two ponies together and true love had been found.

Author's Note

One more chapter. Celestia's surrender.

Chapter 10

Stepping aside, Celestia made a little bit of room on the balcony for Gosling to land. She watched him drop in with practiced ease, his wings folding in against his sides, and he landed upon the stone floor with a minimal clattering of his hooves. In the daylight, he was an even more impressive specimen. Long black legs, so black that they appeared to be blue down near his hooves, and growing lighter as one went up, until he was charcoal grey along his belly and his sides. His wings were also charcoal grey, but his feathers had silver highlights. His back, all up and down his spine, was the colour of thunderheads, pregnant with the promise of rain. She noticed a detail that she did not see last night; there was a patch of white on his head, just between his ears, and it was almost covered by his mane.

“You do wonderful work,” Celestia said for the lack of anything better to say. She was still unsettled, still out of sorts, and embarrassed to be seen in the state she was in. She understood what she had done; she had sabotaged herself with the hopes that Cadance would take pity and allow her to hide.

Cadance had not been merciful, and for this, Celestia was glad.

“Are you okay?” Gosling asked as he studied Celestia.

She looked at him and Celestia saw his rubber ducky cutie mark. It had an orange beak and it was a vivid, all too bright shade of yellow against his darkened pelt. She saw him blinking at her. All she could do was stand there and drink him in like a thirsty pony led to water that decided stubbornness was a bad idea and drinking was a good idea. He was very, very drinkable.

“My Auntie has had a very rough day,” Cadance said in a low voice to Gosling. Cadance lifted her head and looked over at her aunt. “Private Gosling, the first thing that you must learn about my aunt is that she isn’t perfect. She is strong, she is independent to a fault, she is stubborn, strong willed, and she doesn’t like being helped.”

“And those are my good qualities.” Celestia spoke with a sheepish, wavering voice. She felt a strong breeze blow over her extended wings and her whole body quivered as she experienced the wonderful cooling sensation.

Gosling, unfazed by all he heard, nodded. “That is to be expected.”

“Just to let you both know, I have raised the white flag of surrender. I’ve given up on resistance.” Celestia let out a huff. “I have submitted. The ponies of Fancy have a ceremonial cheese dish that they serve in times of surrender. I wonder if anypony is in the mood for cheese—”

Cadance’s eyebrow raised and she regarded her aunt with a concerned eye.

“—I could go for a little cheese.” Celestia blinked. “I’m so lonely that it hurts.”

Her ears perking, Cadance’s gaze refocused upon Gosling and her brows furrowed as she looked down at him. She saw a worried look upon his face, but he didn’t look like he wanted to run. Nope, he looked like he planned to stay. Something about Gosling’s mannerisms reminded her of Shining Armor.

“I want to love somepony,” Celestia said in a quavering, reedy whine, “and not have it end in disaster. I don’t want the headache, the hassle, or the heartache.” She shook her head and the corner of her mouth jerked downwards. “I don’t want to abuse my authority just so I can be left alone. While I understand that I am one of the ruling monarchs of Equestria, I am more than that. I’d like to be a mother and not have to worry about my foals being mugged by the press or set upon by an irate public who takes their differences with me out on them. I’d like to give them a normal life, but I don’t even know what normal is anymore. I live in a fortified dwelling surrounded by guards. Every move I make is watched. My neck has grown weary from the weight of my crown.”

“So… what you need is a pony to rub your neck?” Gosling asked.

“Yes!” Celestia blurted out in a voice that had a bit too much volume. “Maybe?”

“What you need is some time to sort out, deal with, and heal up from past hurts.” Cadance held up her head as high as possible and tried to look at her aunt eye to eye. Celestia was still a bit taller than her. “A little therapy would do you good. It’s sorted Gosling out and made him a better pony.”

“It sure has,” Gosling admitted. He turned and spoke to Celestia. “When I first asked Cadance for help, I had no confidence to speak of. I still have some confidence issues to be honest, but Cadance taught me to fake it until I can make it. So I act confident even though I don’t feel that way on the inside. Ponies think I’m confident though and that helps me project a better image of myself.”

Tilting her head to one side, Celestia stared down at Gosling with wide, unblinking eyes. “You lack confidence? You are one of the boldest ponies I have ever seen. I don’t understand. You’ve even flirted with me and you tossed yourself into the pond without hesitation.”

“I was so nervous that I was almost positive that I was going to spew. I even tried telling Cadance that I was going to hurl.” Gosling paused for a moment and averted his gaze away from Cadance, staring down at the ground. “Cadance told me to blow chunks if I had to. She said that if I blew chunks and tossed my cookies everywhere and you didn’t run away, then it had to be true love. But if I spewed and you bolted, then you clearly weren't the sort of pony I needed in my life and good riddance.”

Celestia cleared her throat and turned to look at her niece. She saw that Cadance had a serene, wise smile. Celestia blinked, first her right eye, and then her left eye a half second later. After a moment, she turned her manic gaze back to Gosling. Somehow, she knew that if she blew chunks at this moment, the colt wouldn’t bolt. She had to look hideous right now though in her current state, with chapped, raw lips and her mangled, grotesque wings.

“Do you wish to court me?” Celestia asked in a rusty, creaky voice that she did not recognise as her own.

“Yes,” Gosling replied without hesitation. “But I fear I don’t understand what that means exactly. Is this like an engagement?”

“Think of it as an engagement to be engaged,” Cadance said, cutting in with smooth, soft spoken words. “A royal suitor has to be a paragon of virtue, and a paragon of virtue doesn’t date. They commit. They boldly make a promise to commit and forsake the attention of all others. As for the length of courting, it is entirely dependent upon the couple.”

Nodding, Gosling’s ears stood up straight and he looked at Cadance. “I understand.”

“Courting can be called off, but it is a process fraught with danger. The press will have a field day. There will of course be scandal. Celestia will take some of the flack, but you, Gosling, you will draw the ire of the entire nation and they will hate you for dumping their beloved monarch.”

Gosling gulped and his legs shook for a moment, his knees almost knocking together. To his credit, the colt recovered and regained his composure; standing up straight and almost at attention once more. “Well I should hope so… what sort of geldworthy cad dumps his beloved monarch?”

The words spoken by the colt caused Celestia to let out a nervous titter. She felt a growing attraction for Gosling; with a little grooming, with a little direction, he could be the sort of pony that the press would adore. As for Celestia herself, she adored him already.

“So, uh, what comes next?” Gosling asked.

“You do as you are told, follow instructions, and everypony gets through this with a minimal amount of fuss,” Cadance replied. “You have several months left of mandatory guard service. When that is done, we need to get you back into school. It will be good for your public image. I would advise that you stay in the guard—it will be good for your public image and be wonderful for the royal guard’s public image. With university, you could become an officer. That would give the public confidence that you are worthy of their beloved monarch.” Cadance paused, blinked, and then looked at Gosling. “We also begin a positive public relations campaign.”

“Um, that’s all fine and good, but what comes next for Celestia and I?” Gosling’s jaw firmed, the muscles tightening, and he waited for a reply.

An embarrassed grin appeared upon Cadance’s face. “Private Gosling, I have a mission for you.”

Conditioned to respond, Gosling snapped to attention. Doing so caused a delightful tension in Celestia’s wings, but she made no outward indications of her physical attraction. Cadance however, felt it.

“Private Gosling, I do believe I addressed you,” Cadance snapped in a commanding tone.

The colt went rigid, ears up, stiff legged, neck high, his back so flat that one could serve tea upon it and not spill a drop. Cadance smiled and her eyes, glittering with mischievousness, darted over to her aunt for one second. The corner of her mouth turned upwards and her barrel expanded as she held back her laughter.

“Empress.”

“That’s more like it, Private Gosling.” Cadance drew herself up to her full height. “I have a mission for you. Princess Celestia is in need of rest and relaxation. She is going to be taking a week off from her duties. During this time, she will need a private guard. You are going to be this private guard and you will do everything that she commands.”

“Yes, as you command, Empress.” Gosling spoke but did not move.

“There are exceptions though. If she tries to dismiss you, you are to ignore that command. You are to remain with her at all times. Her quarters are your quarters. Sleeping arrangements will be made for you. You are to look after her every need, obey her every command, and see that she is cared for.”

“Of course, Empress.” Gosling remained standing and staring straight ahead.

“Be careful, she cheats at cards—”

“Cadance!”

“—and denies it. You will help her pass the time in a leisurely manner so that she can become well rested, relaxed, and fit for rule once more. You can also use this time to get to know one another. At the end of the week, we shall make announcements to the public, should you decide to go through with this.”

“Empress, I am uncomfortable sharing quarters with the princess. It seems untowards and I am worried about what others might think—”

“Already worried about what others will think, Private Gosling?” Cadance leaned her head down until she was nose to nose, snoot to snoot with the colt. “You’re not going to last very long if you are already worried about what other ponies will think. Do you plan to do untoward things with my aunt, or are you just a namby pamby little pegasus colt?”

“Well, no… I would never do such a thing, and yes, I am a namby pamby! I rather prefer musical theatre and tea to wrestling and slogging through a battlefield! There is a reason why I am in the signal corps! We don’t get dirty...”

“Which is why I am trusting you.” Cadance’s eyes gleamed with mirth and her ears pitched forwards, angling over her face. “Use this time wisely. Get to know one another. This might be the last bit of privacy that either of you have for quite some time. After this, it will get rough. This cannot be kept hidden forever and at some point, the press will find out.”

“I understand,” Gosling said. “I need my mother protected… I can’t have the press harassing her… what do we do about—”

“Arrangements will be made for your mother.” Cadance relaxed her militant posture a bit and looked at her aunt. “I will be extending my vacation for a bit, Auntie. I’ll be coming by to check on you. I promise, I will be with you every step of the way to help you get everything sorted out. Let Gosling look after you and just let this happen. There is powerful love here, do not squander it.”

Celestia bowed her head, then nodded. “Thank you, Cadance.” She looked over at Gosling and felt a tingle of attraction. “Gosling, we have a week that we can be together and get to know one another. I am looking forward to it.”

“As am I.” As Gosling spoke, he remained at attention. “I am looking forwards to sorting you out.”

“Ooh… you are going to sort me out?” Celestia’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Yes.” Gosling turned his head and looked Celestia over as the sky overhead darkened. “You’re a mess and somepony needs to help sort you out.” The colt relaxed his posture a bit and something resembling a smile crept over his muzzle as he gazed up at his monarch, his eyes wide with unabashed adoration.

“I’ll be stepping out now,” Cadance said to both her aunt and to Gosling. “Make the most of your time together. I’ll be around.” Cadance drew in a deep breath and gave Gosling one final warning. “Also, Private Gosling, look out for Luna.”

“What? Why?”

Cadance did not respond, but spread her wings and lept from the balcony. She flapped a few times, gaining altitude, her powerful wings giving her great speed. As she flew away, she watched her aunt and Gosling become smaller and smaller. She felt a swelling in her heart, she was buoyed by love, and as she watched the pair below her shrinking, she knew that everything was going to be fine.

↼Epilogue⇁

Giving her husband a sultry stare, Cadance eased into the bed beside him. She cuddled up against him, rubbing his neck with her wing, and she gave him a quick peck upon the cheek. More kisses would come later, but for now, she wanted to talk. She looked into his eyes as she pulled him closer, and asked, “Was little Flurry much trouble?”

“I don’t know,” Shining Armor replied with a smile. “I let Twily, mom, and dad deal with her. I haven’t seen them.” Shining Armor bumped his snoot against Cadance’s and his pulse quickened as he felt her hot breath against his muzzle. “Did you get Auntie sorted out?”

“I think so.” Cadance continued to rub her husband’s neck with her wing, going up and down with gentle, smooth strokes. She needed Shining to be receptive to what she was about to tell him. She wanted him in the best mood that she could coax out of him.

“How do you think this will end, Cadance?” Shining Armor asked, a trace of fear causing his eyes to darken just a bit. “Do you think this will work out? We put a lot of work into this. I’ve been having Gosling watched over for months just as requested. It’s tricky to prepare a pony without them knowing that they are being prepared. Getting special attention can cause a pony to take notice.”

“Everything worked out, Shiny.” Cadance snuggled up a little closer to her husband. “Everything will be okay. Swans, Shining… swans.”

“I don’t follow.” Shining Armor shook his head.

“Shining Armor, swans mate for life. They are devoted, dutiful mates to one another. Cobs live in noble service to their pens. They rear their young together. Swans continue to romance and court one another throughout their entire lives.”

“Huh.” Shining Armor, feeling amorous, kissed his wife on the corner of her mouth.

“Swans fight together Shining, and there are few animals as ferocious as swans. They protect one another and are fierce protectors of their young. You do not disturb their nests.” Cadance let out a content sigh and gave her husband’s muzzle a nuzzle. “Luna can read the stars, Twilight can read books, Celestia can read the solar winds—”

“And what do you read, Cadance?” Shining asked.

“Signs and portents of romance,” Cadance replied as she gazed into her husband’s eyes. “We shall witness the courtship of swans, Shiny. There’s bound to be lots of noise and honking. They can be quite vocal. Swans are not creatures of restraint. Everything they do is boisterous.”

“Mmm, boisterous… I can’t wait until we get home so you and I can be noisy again. It’s rough trying to take care of things with your sister and your parents in the rooms around you.” Shining Armor rubbed his snoot against Cadance’s neck and let out a pleased wicker when he felt his wife shudder.

“I feel a little bad, Shiny,” Cadance admitted.

“Bad?” Shining Armor pulled back his head and looked Cadance in the eye.

“Auntie thinks I went into this blind and just tossed everything together. She doesn’t know about all of the effort that has taken place to make this happen. She doesn’t know I’ve been preparing for this for a long time. I’ve worked very, very hard to get Gosling sorted out. Truth be told though, she came to me before I was ready for her. I thought I’d have more time to work on Gosling, but she surprised me. I feel bad keeping secrets from her. Doubly so after I chided her to be honest.”

“Alicorns are mysterious creatures and have secretive ways.” Shining Armor looped a foreleg around Cadance’s neck, pulled her closer, and began planting little kisses just beneath her jawline. “Mmm, but I know your secrets inside and out, yes I do.”

“Oh, you say that now,” Cadance replied in a teasing voice. She giggled as Shining kissed her. “But I’ve been keeping a secret from you as well.”

“Oh, we’re not supposed to keep secrets… that’s bad…”

“You’ll have to spank me, Shining, but you’ll need to be gentle.”

“Gentle?” Shining Armor pulled his head back and peered into Cadance’s eyes.

“”Yes, gentle.” Cadance gave her husband a smouldering, sultry smile. “Tell me, Shining, how would you feel about being a daddy again?”

↼The end?⇁

Author's Note

The Perilous Romance of Swans.

Gosling will appear in Princess Twilight Sparkle's School for Fantastic Foals

This has been in a story in a much larger universe, the Weed Verse. You should check it out.

Chapter 7

Blinking, bleary eyed, Celestia looked up and saw three worried faces looking down at her. They were blurry, out of focus, and her eyes burned as sweat trickled into them. She was soaked through and through. She was laying on her back, legs all askew, and it began to filter into her mind that this was both an unflattering and unladylike position to be found in. Doubly so on a second date. She lay there, on her back, her legs sprawled out, showing off her undeniably delectable goodies, and could not help but feel a little embarrassed by everything.

“What happened?” Celestia’s voice sounded strange in her own ears. Dry, raspy, as though her throat was full of sand and gravel.

“Auntie, you fainted,” Cadance replied in what could only be described as a worried voice.

“I did not!” Celestia snapped, feeling unreasonably put out by the very idea of such a thing happening. She blinked her eyes, trying to get everything into focus. She shook her head and her wings fluttered against the ground.

“Auntie, you most certainly did.” Cadance gave her aunt an apologetic glance for contradicting her.

Celestia did not care for the matronly tone in Cadance’s voice. It annoyed her and left her feeling irritated. She grunted, kicked her legs around, and her dry tongue clove to the roof of her mouth. She tried to work up some spit, but her mouth stayed dry.

“I most certainly did not!” Celestia shook her head. “I have stared down the legions of Tartarus! I have faced Discord in battle! I have crushed mine enemies, driven them before me, and heard the lamentations of their females! I have smote the ruin of mine enemies upon the rocks! I have introduced mine enemies to the glorious wonders of orbital bombardment! And I most certainly did not faint!”

Shining Armor cleared his throat. “Majesty, you fainted. Of course, overheating might have contributed to that—”

“Yes, I was feeling quite hot,” Celestia admitted in a gritty, dry voice. She kicked her legs again, flapped her wings, and with titanic effort, she rolled herself over, smearing her white pelt with green grass stains. Rising in the most majestic manner she could muster, her wings flared outwards, she sent the two startled little stallions near her scattering to get out of her way.

Cadance, the brave one, stood her ground as her aunt rose up and gave herself a mighty shake. Bits of grass flew from Celestia as she shook and flapped her wings. Droplets of sweat flew like raindrops. Visible steam rose from her back, her neck, and her wings.

Feeling a little less than majestic, Celestia looked around, surveying her surroundings, looking for something, anything that might help her cool off. She saw a pond some distance away, there were benches, a hedge surrounded it on three sides, and the reflection of the colourful paper lanterns were visible upon the calm surface of the water.

Letting out what could only be described as a honk, Celestia stomped off for the water, no longer caring what anypony thought, her brain still feeling scrambled. Steam trailed from her as she strode away from the others and when she reached the water’s edge, she didn’t hesitate for a second—she lept right in with a splash and began wading out to deeper water.

She dunked her wings, soaking them, relishing the cool water against her fevered, sweaty skin. She was so hot, sweaty, and salty that her wingpits had become galded. She settled down in the water, floating, paddling with her legs, looking very much like a swan as she went for a swim.

Her head was down in the water when she heard another splash, which startled her. She tossed her head up with a gasp, the cool water running down her neck and looking like cascading diamonds in the lantern light. Looking over, she saw Gosling swimming in the pond with her, looking cool, calm, and collected.

In that moment, she knew that she loved him. She felt something powerful, something had twanged her string of destiny, and she knew it. It was like lighting a candle and banishing the darkness. She dove beneath the water for a moment, dunking herself completely, and then broke the surface of the pond once more, shaking her body and flapping her wings, trying to cool off her fevered, overheated body. She whipped out a wing and slung water at Gosling, completely soaking him as he paddled around beside her.

Cadance and Shining Armor were standing on the shore. Shining Armor looked worried—he was the perpetual guard, always defensive, always on duty—but Cadance was smiling.

“They look like two swans,” Cadance said, doing nothing to hide the laughter in her voice. “Look at them… tell me they don’t look like swans, Shining.”

Turning away, Celestia paddled around in a circle, enjoying the cool air and cooler water. The water soaked into hot, sweaty, sticky, itchy places and soothed them. Beside her, Gosling, looking like a much smaller swan, swam beside her. She smiled at him, her temper having cooled, and she felt better that she could be herself around him. Not fainting was a surefire way to ruin a date and Celestia was very, very glad that she had not fainted.

She was however, glad that Gosling had been enough of a gentle pony to catch her during her moment of not fainting. He appeared to be quite content to swim beside his monarch in some dirty duck pond in somepony’s private garden, and he did it with both the aplomb and panache that left Celestia adoring him.

“I suppose there are worse things to be called than ‘Swan Princess,’” Celestia said as she went still and floated in the water, her legs dangling limp beneath her. She shook her head around, causing her ears to flop around as she tried to get the water out.

“Gosling…”

“Yes, Celestia?”

“You should know… while I am an alicorn, I am still a pony. While immortal, I am not invulnerable. I have weakness. I am less than perfect. I am flesh and blood, of this there can be no doubt, and I have all of the shortcomings that come along with that.”

“Does this mean that you like having your back rubbed?” Gosling asked.

“Why, yes actually,” Celestia replied as a smile worked its way free and spread across her muzzle. She dunked her wings again and shivered as the cool water sapped the heat trapped in her feathers. She heard a splash behind her, and then a second splash. There was a shrill cry of protest.

Turning around, she saw Cadance wading through the water, tugging on Shining Armor’s tail and pulling him out into deeper water. Shining Armor let out a bleating sound of protest, but was powerless to resist Cadance’s bidding.

“So, uh, is this what the royals do when nopony is looking?” Gosling asked.

“Well, this is what this royal is doing right now,” Celestia replied, “and if I happen to feel like it, if the mood strikes me, I might very well do this again. Oh, this feels wonderful. I allowed myself to get too hot. My apologies, Gosling.”

“No reason to apologise, this is great. I love swimming.” Gosling grinned and watched as both Cadance and Shining Armor drew near. The colt allowed himself to drift closer to Celestia, all while looking very pleased with himself.

“Do you feel better?” Cadance asked as she drew closer, a worried smile upon her muzzle as she drew closer to her aunt. “You gave all of us quite a scare. Shining Armor was beside himself—”

“I was not,” Shining grumbled.

“Just like I didn’t faint,” Celestia said in a low whisper to Shining.

A hesitant smile appeared upon Shining Armor’s face, which became a grin as he bumped into Cadance in the water. Little equines, naturally buoyant, floated quite well in the water. Shining Armor, however, lacked wings and because of this, lacked the swan like appearance in the water that the rest of his companions had.

“The real credit goes to Gosling. He caught you and kept you from getting a bump on your nose. He never once panicked or lost his cool. I tell you, those guys in the signal corps are the most level headed ponies in a crisis that you will ever have the pleasure of meeting.” Shining Armor gave a nod to Gosling and then looked Celestia in the eye while raising his eyebrow. “He handled himself well in a crisis.”

“‘Twasn’t a crisis,” Celestia replied in a dismissive voice. She whipped out a soaking wet wing again—this time she sent a torrent of water at Shining Armor, almost tipping him over and sinking him.

“I offer my most sincere apologies if my handsome features caused you to swoon.” To Gosling’s credit, he said it with a straight face and never lost his composure. One eyebrow arched in a manner so perfect that it became obvious that the colt had been practicing it in a mirror.

There was a low snort as Celestia tried to hold back laughter, but she failed. A flood of giggling spilled from her lips and she could do nothing to make it stop. She felt her heart go pitter patter as she laughed.

“Equestria cannot afford to have its signal corps freezing up in time of a crisis,” Cadance said in conversational tones. “One of the many reasons I knew that Gosling was an almost perfect match.”

“Almost perfect?” Gosling and Princess Celestia both asked together.

“Well…” Cadance’s words trailed off and a curious smile graced her lips. She looked up at her aunt, then at Gosling, and then gave a sidelong glance to Shining Armor. “Gosling did have one request that I knew he would just have to face disappointment over.”

“And what would that be?” Celestia replied as she focused a curious stare upon her niece.

“Um, well, that’s kind of, uh…” Cadance began giggling and was unable to finish.

Raising her head, Celestia gave her niece a commanding, but amused stare. “I need to know. You have to tell me. Otherwise, I shall ask Gosling.”

“Uh…” Gosling’s brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what was going on. “She hates macaroni and cheese?”

“Nope.” Cadance grinned. “Auntie loves macaroni and cheese. She likes to eat it cold, with hot fried pickles.” Cadance gave her aunt a devious glance and then began to titter once more.

“I’m out of ideas,” Gosling admitted as he floated beside Celestia.

“Cadance?” Celestia’s brows wrinkled and laugh lines appeared in the corners of her eyes as she focused her commanding stare upon her niece. She waited, her nostrils flaring, and it was all she could do to hold back laughter. She hadn’t had this much fun for quite a while.

“Gosling, I’m so sorry,” Cadance said, apologising as she glanced at the colt beside Celestia. Cadance coughed and cleared her throat. “Private Gosling made it known that he wanted a mare that could, uh, well… he wanted a mare that could enunciate the alphabet while belching—”

There was a majestic honk from Celestia when she exploded with laughter.

“—and I kind of figured that he would just have to live with disappointment in that department.” Cadance’s grin became sheepish as she listened to the raucous laughter of her aunt. At least Celestia was enjoying herself and Cadance could not complain.

“Not only can I burp the entire Equestrian alphabet, but I can also belt out the entirety of the dragon alphabet.” Celestia’s eyes twinkled with merriment as she spoke and she delighted in seeing the shocked expressions upon both Cadance’s and Shining Armor’s face.

As for Gosling, he looked stunned, not shocked.

“Diplomacy. I had to make the dragons respect me. For my flawless performance, the dragons agreed to an extended peace treaty because they were so impressed.” Celestia allowed herself a self satisfied smile and her eyes narrowed. “I practice in the shower so I don’t get rusty. You never know when the dragons might get into one of their moods again.”

“Could you show me?” Gosling asked in a low, almost worshipful sounding whisper.

“Like right now?” Celestia replied. She understood that by doing this, she could prove that she was perfect for him. She always strove for perfection. She had a nagging suspicion that Gosling would prove perfect for her as well—Cadance was quite good at what she did.

“Auntie, no!” Cadance begged.

Ignoring her niece, Celestia drew in a deep breath and prepared the Royal Canterlot Voice for the impromptu concerto she was about to perform…

Author's Note

This was fun.

:trollestia: - So is orbital bombardment!