“See you, Rumble. It was a lot of fun today!” Button waved his hoof as he watched his friend trot away. The day had been filled with excitement, ranging from a drive out to a nearby village to see their squirrel mayor, to playing an old, classic game between them. Just like any day though, it had to come to an end. Button wasn’t sad though. As much as he loved seeing his friends, after a whole day with Rumble, he needed some rest.
Button stretched an arm over his head, shutting one eye as he walked around the desk in the middle of his apartment. Of course, in classic, new kid out of the house fashion, it was propped right against the back of his couch, where he now slumped down onto. The young stallion glanced over to the t.v. in front of him, but quickly pushed it from his mind. Button would be to bed in an hour or so, so if he started playing something, it might be humemon. Nah, he was just gonna relax for a bit, and then go to bed.
Button flipped on his computer, humming to himself as he waited for it to boot up, and began checking his phone. He hadn’t been able to check skype for most of the day, but it looked like it had been a fairly quiet day. Popping open his feel good, drama free group though, the first message made him remember how skype worked, and he scrolled past the bit of drama. It was too vague to care about anyway, though the person bitching did make him curious. One message to Sweetie, and he expected to hear about it a little more, especially since she had been brought up by the whiner.
He glanced back up, a small thrum from his computer letting him know it was back to life. He popped in his headphones with one hoof, while the other tapped in his password. Once on his desktop, he popped open the internet, and skype, humming to himself as he waited for them to boot up.
Just keep waiting and waiting, even if you have nowhere to go.
He brought up one of the forums he lurked for video games, and noticed a few more people had begun following him, probably to keep up with the progress on his little fan mods. Too bad the real thing isn’t going anywhere fast while I keep staying here. Button smiled, thanking the new ponies for their interest, and promising to keep working hard for them, before popping open ponytube.
While he waited for his subscriptions to open, hoping for some new Stardrop Ravine videos from one of his favorites to be up, as they were perfect to relax with, he got a message back from Sweetie. The situation was as dumb as he thought it might be. His hoofs tapped furiously to point out how stupid the whole things was, before he apologized to Sweetie for going on a tirade. He was probably just tired anyways.
Or you’ve grown to be angry, and mean.
Button smiled as Sweetie told him it was fine, like always, and he switched backover to the forum. The featured mods were still fairly stagnant, though he did notice one. It looked like a sequel to a pretty popular one, so it wasn’t surprised that it was doing well. Of course, it can’t ever happen to my sequels, not like it matters. A glance to the side showed that a lot of those super popular mods had been being updated recently, and for a moment, Button felt his eyes lower as a tightness came into his chest. While the cursor flicked back to youtube, where he had a stream he had started earlier that day running again, his other hoof picked up something beside him, and pulled it up to his head.
The cold steel pressed itself against his forehead, the barrel imprinting a ring where it dug in deeper. He took in a deep breath, smiling as the guys on the stream began talking about voice work. and pressed on the pressure plate. A small click, a hot flash, and then blood. Blood everywhere, but it would be over.
Button opened up skype again, and checked his messages, before letting Apple Bloom know that he was confused. He wasn’t feeling very good, even after such a good day. Unfortunately, even if her icon said she was online, he never knew if that would be the case. “Well, at least it gives me a chance to go take a shower.”
Button shut down the stream, his chest tightening as he moved. He tried thinking about the time he had spent with Rumble today, trying to reach for the fun times, and seek why it may be hurting, but his mind instead drifted to their talk about brothers. He was fine with his of course, but when Button thought about how his brother had relied on him for so many months before just heading out and telling him to go fuck himself, it makes me want to just beat the ever living shit out of him it really made him hope that when they finally got back together, he would have grown up, and their bridge could be mended.
He slowly moved, as if through molasses, slowly making sure everything was shut down, before walking down the hallway to the bathroom. Staring straight down it, he saw the door to his new roommate. She wasn’t a gamer, but she was nice enough, even if you don’t know how to interact with her and are abandoning her and he hoped that she would find someone nice for when he followed his brother back home at the end of the month. He didn’t dwell on it long, and soon turned to the door on the right, and went into the bathroom.
It made his muzzle wrinkle for a moment, as Button still wasn’t used to having her chemicals polluting the air in there, even if it was supposedly making it cleaner. The effect didn’t last long, and soon he had the curtain closed for the shower. A little of time letting the water warm up, and he got to be under the arm kiss of its comforting drizzle. “Though, I still wish I had a bathtub to soak in. Those were the best.”
Button didn’t mind these, his eyes shut as he let the water run down from his head. He wouldn’t think about moving, the forum, his original works, or any of that. He would just focus on the warmth, the nice day he had, and raise his hoof. His chest would swell with one more deep breath as tears came down the side of his face, and his scream would awaken everypony in the house. His hoof would shove its way through the tile, and he would be able to keep crying, and let out what never seemed to want to go away. It even got his chest to loosen up, because it helped to let it out, just like everypony told him.
Button rubbed at an irritation one of his eyes as he turned the shower off. He stepped out of the pristine shower, before shoving his head into the towel he had left on the ground. Some nights, he wished he was a unicorn, as then it wouldn’t take so long trying to make sure he wasn’t just a sopping, wet mess, but such was the curse of a coat he supposed.
When he was about done, he let the towel hang on his head, breathing in deeply as he thought. He could just head back to his computer, but he had finished his stream before coming over here, so he would probably start another video, because you never do the work you’re supposed to because he never really felt motivated to write code when he was this tired.
Will I like what I think of if I go to bed though?
Button pulled the towel off as he yawned, his body shaking as it called for sleep. He thought about how he might dream of how it would be if Sweetie lived in Ponyville still, and how she would have acted on the road trip. “Still a shame I’ll only be closer to where she lives now, instead of going to her.”
Button picked back up the gun in his room. “Would I deserve her even then though?”
He stepped into his room, blinking wearily as he grabbed the blanket from his floor, and threw it onto the bed. Yeah, he was ready for some sleep, and maybe the tightness in his chest would be gone by then. “Celestia knows it would be nice.”
”Celestia knows this would be easier.”
Button shut his eyes, enjoying the blanket firmly wrapped around him, and invited the darkness as he went to bang. Over and over and over again. Bang, in someway. bed.
Author's Note
Written to get something out of my system, specifically, what my night was like last night. I wish i could say this helped as much as I hoped it would.
