Displaced is stupid and inaccurate, here's how the more famous crossovers would go

by Eyes Over Heaven

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Crossover, Human
Length: 1643

You're welcome, you inattentive twits.

smeg

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-07 21:07:21 UTC

Dante cosplayer

Okay so I got into Equestria thanks to that jew who sold me a Purple Orb that unlocked my Devil Trigger, and that hurt to say.

Now I'm sitting at a vacant house I reclaimed as "Discord May Cry," eating vegan pizza. And yeah, he's fine with the name. The phone then rings.

"Discord May Cry," I greet after kicking the desk to lift the phone.

"Hi, uh, I got a windigo problem..."

I hang up. No password, no sale.

...This pizza's okay. It's not Damaging, it's more than Crappy, but it's nowhere near Appetizing. It's just Borderline.

Saitama cosplayer

I am now in Equestria and am super strong, but there's a bargain sale at the supermarkte!

I punch spacetime, and reality opens. I go home, run to the market, and buy some ground beef, cheese, and taco shells.

Man, dinner's gonna ROCK.

Deadpool cosplayer

Jotaro Kujo cosplayer

The salesman shows me a diary that looks like Dio's from Stone Ocean. "Fifty bucks."

I flip through it and notice quite a few typos. Man, this guy didn't even read Part VI. "I'll pass," I say as I put it down, grab a candy cigarette, and walk off.

The salesman mutters something about dyslexic homoerotic vampires. I tip my hat down. "Yare yare..."

Guy not in a cosplay but just likes buying swords cosplayer...wait, no, not a cosplayer.

"I have fifty-thousand dollars, give me all your swords."

The  merchant looks at me with horror, and shrugs. "Here's your armory," he says as he slides over a mountain of swords.

"Thanks! I like swords, just saying." I grab all the swords and some Squall cosplayer hits me over the head.

"Fuck you, I wanted that Lionheart!"

I feel my brain damaging as my hair turns red, my clothes become red armor, and I think of only one thing...

I like swords.

ACTUAL Warrior cosplayer

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

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"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

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"Welcome to Ponyville!"

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"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

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"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

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"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

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"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

"Welcome to Ponyville!"

"I like swords."

MC Ride cosplayer

The Death Grips fanatic known as me finally made it to Equestria!

Wait, I forgot, this is years after I announced my arrival and instead stayed home and left Zach's spare drum kit on stage.

...Why do these ponies have guns, radiation, a vulgar vocabulary, and edgy plotlines?