Vegeta was flying through one of earths many canyons with the dragon radar scanning over the endless mountain tops.
BEEP!
"I swear to god daming fuck if this stupid dragon radar doesn't start working, its been through a planet exploding and the god of destruction himself and it can't even handle a little rainstorm!" He yelled as loud as the wind and rain battered down from the heavens.
BLEEEEEP!
"If this god dam thing is wrong again!" He said looking down and saw a orange ball with seven starts in it.
"Yesss! Now I finally have all seven dragon balls! Screw everyone else! When I get immortality they can all go choke on a dick!" Vegeta said as ghost Nappa appeared next to him.
"Yea, like anyone will be scared of an angry vegetable." He said mockingly.
"GODDAMIT NAPPA!" Vegeta yelled.
'Now to go somewhere no one will find me.' He said flying toward the site of the old red ribbon army base.
Vegeta arrived at the base, set up the dragon balls and thought to himself.
'Wow, look at those juicy delicious balls." Nappa appeared.
"Gay!" Nappa yelled.
"DAMMIT NAPPA!"
Vegeta started to summon shenron.
"Oh Shenron. I summon the Shenron!" He said as the sky got dark and the balls started to glow.
The dragon started to shoot up out of the ground where the balls sat and coiled into the sky.
"You have summoned me state you-." He said sighing. "Oh god fucking damit, it's you fucks again. Doesn't anyone else ever find these god dam things! *Hugh* What do you want?" He said annoyed.
"What do you mean you fucks?" Vegeta said turning around and saw Goku.
"GREAT VEGETA! You find the dragon balls! That saves us a lot of trouble!" Goku told him.
"Kakarot what are you doing here, aren't you supposed to be training or not raising Gohan?" Vegeta asked.
"Well I was, but then I realized, hey there's something I need the dragon balls for. And my good friend Vegeta can helo me find them. So I used instant transmission to find you and here we are." Goku said
"Can you guys just make your fucking wish so I can leave?" Shenron asked.
"Ok! I wish to be brought somewhere where everyone is happy, somewhere new! Oh, and I want Vegeta there too!" He said.
"Wait! What!" Vegeta said.
"Your wish has been granted." Shenron said as they started to disappear.
"KAKAROT YOU MOTHER FUUUUUU!" He said teleporting.
-----------Equestria-----------
"UUUUUUCKER!" He said smashing into what looked like a throne room. Vegeta started to look around and see if he could tell where he was.
He flew over to Goku, who landed just next to him, and grabbed him by the collar.
"KAKAROT YOU SHRIMP DICK FUCK NUGGET! What have you done!" Vegeta yelled as the sound echoed off the walls. "ILL GIVE YOU FIVE SECONDS TO BRING US BACK!" He said picking up his fist.
"FIVE!"
"Vegeta I think you should calm down."
"FOUR!"
"No I mean really like take an asprin or something."
"THREE!"
"Maybe take a nap."
"TWO!"
"Or get some food."
"ONE!"
"Cause that always helps m-" Goku said as a fist rammed through his face and sent him flying into the wall.
Just then princess Celestia ran in and yelled. "WHAT WAS THAT!"
"That was that dickbiscuit over there." Vegeta told the equine.
"What are you?" Celestia asked.
"What the fuck does it look like I am!" Vegeta yelled.
"Acctually, you look like a shaved circus monkey." Celestia told him.
"Dafuq did you say!" Vegeta yelled. "I am Vegeta, prince of all sayins!"
"Oh, sorry I'm princess Cele-." Was all she was able to say before Vegeta cut her off.
"Did I asked who the fuck you were! Thats it isn't it. I died and this is my version of hell. FUCK YOU YEMMA!" He said flying out the window.
'It could be worse.' Vegeta though to himself.
"Heeey Vegeta." Ghost Nappa said.
"Kill me now." Vegeta mumbled under his breath.
Celestia walked over to Goku, who was still smashed into the wall.
"Whats his problem?" She asked.
"Oh, thats just Vegeta being Vegeta." He said spitting out a tooth. "He gets like this sometimes. But don't worry, he's one of my best friends."
"Well I hope he doesn't hurt anyone." Celestia said helping Goku up.
"I wouldn't get your hopes up." He said dusting himself off.
"What was that!" Twilight yelled running up the stairs with her friends, Luna, Shining Armor, Cadance, and the baby.
-------------Vegeta------------
"WHY IS IT SO GODDAM COLD OUT HERE!" Vegeta yelled flying back into the window.
"There must be a spell that can restore the Crystal Heart." Twilight said ignoring the two creatures.
"Maybe, but the library here is as extensive as the one in Canterlot." Celestia chimed in.
"Hello!" Vegeta yelled.
"Can you hold off the storm clouds?" Twilight asked Celestia.
"If its so fucking cold because of a few clouds! Let me take care of this!" He said flying out the window again.
He charged up his final flash and shot it into the storm clouds. It destroyed a whole line of them, until more filled them in a few seconds later. He flew back into the window.
"Well, your all fucked." He told them.
"I need all of you help looking through the library!" Twilight yelled running up the stairs.
"So what do you want to do before we die Kakarot?" Vegeta asked.
"You'll be with me Vegeta." Nappa said.
"GODDAMIT NAPPA!" Vegeta yelled at him.
"So this thing called the Crystal Heart is broken." Goku said.
"I blame Krillin." Vegeta said.
Back on earth Krillin felt a disturbance in the force at master Roshis house.
"Vegeta make a fre-" "GODDAMIT KAKAROT STOP NAMING THE GOD DAM CHAPTERS!"
"Vegeta!" Goku said in a whiny voice. "You have to help save the Crystal Empire!"
"Look, I didn't even want to fucking be here!" Vegeta yelled.
"Come on Vegeta!" Goku said.
"No!"
"Come on!"
"No!"
"Come on!"
"LOOK YOU FUCKING BASKET CASE! IMA BOUT TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK AND MAKE YOUR VOICE LOWER THAN YAMCHAS POWER LEVEL!" Vegeta yelled angrily.
"You would like that wouldn't you Vegeta." Ghost Nappa said.
"NAPPA YOU FAT FUCK, GO STICK YOUR DICK IN AN ANTHILL!" Vegeta yelled at ghost Nappa.
"You would like that too wouldn't you Vegeta." Nappa said.
"GOD DAMIT!" Vegeta shouted.
"It could be worse Vegeta." Goku said.
"How can it possibly be fucking worse!?" Vegeta asked angrily.
"Well I could've left you at home and you would miss all the fun." Goku said laughing.
"Were you dropped on your head as a baby?" Vegeta asked face palming.
*Insert flashback of Grandpa Gohan dropping Goku*
"Vegeta, you know me so well." Goku said shedding a tear.
"Your an idiot." Vegeta said.
"Your not too far behind." Nappa said.
"I swear I will skull fuck your disembodied head after I rip it off!" He yelled at Nappa.
"Gay." Nappa said.
"GODDAMIT!" Vegeta shouted.
"You did kinda walk into that one." Twilight said.
"Twilight, help me with the spell!" Cadance shouted.
"Can't you guys just glue it back together or something?" Goku asked.
"He is kind of slow isn't he?" Twilight whispered to Vegeta.
"You don't know the half of it." Vegeta said.
"Wait!" Sunburst yelled running into the door. "Your using the wrong spell!"
"But we're using the spell of relic reconstitution." Twilight said.
"Well that just won't work!" Vegeta stopped listening after that and started to listen to ghost Nappa.
"I wonder how your wifes doing with Yamcha?" He said swirling around him.
"Nappa, shut the fuck up." Vegeta said.
"You know she's cheating right." Nappa said.
"GODDAMIT! Nappa I swear I will go rip off that ponies horn and shove it up your ass!" He said pointing to Celestia.
"GAY!" Nappa said.
"Nappa. Your pushing me over the fucking line." Vegeta said exhaling strongly.
By the time Vegeta looked up the heart was already fixed.
"WE DID IT!" Goku yelled.
"Great, can we go home now?" Vegeta asked. Goku sat there and thought for a second then said.
"I actually don't know how." He said putting his hand behind his head.
"YOU WHAT! DO YOU HAVE FUCKING ALZHEIMER'S! YOU RETARTED AUTISTIC LIMP DICK BASTARD! YOU MEAN YOU SENT US HERE WITHOUT KNOWING HOW TO GET BACK!" Vegeta yelled.
"Yes!" Goku said laughing.
"There's nothing funny about this! I have things I need to get back too, LIKE ACTUALLY RAISING MY SON!" He yelled at Goku. "IF YOU DON'T BRING US HOME RIGHT NOW I WILL RIP OFF YOUR ARMS AND SHOVE THEM SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOUR RECTUM WILL BE PLAYING SHADOW PUPPETS WITH YOUR ESOPHAGUS!"
"It's not that bad, we've got new friends." Goku said.
"Look I didn't even want to be friends with you in the first place. Fuck you. I will go find my own way back." Vegeta said flying out the window. "Alone at last."
"heeeeey Vegeta." Nappa said.
"Fuck." Vegeta said.
Vegeta was flying for about half an hour at full speed until he reached another small village with another crystal castle with a train arriving at the station.
He flew over to see what it was and saw those same ponies getting off the train with Kakarot.
"Hey Vegeta!" Goku said in his normal stupid sounding voice.
