Sail me to the Moon

by The Seer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Princess Luna
Length: 2146

I am lonely up here, not feeling alone, but remote. I am physically, and situationally lonely.

Luna ponders her life, before and after she was banished to the moon.

Published 2012-06-15 11:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-15 11:14:01 UTC

Sail me to the Moon

MLP:FIM Fanfiction

Sail me to the Moon

I am lonely up here, not feeling alone but remote; I am in a physical sense the loneliest pony there has ever been. I am an Alicorn, it doesn't matter if I never eat again, never sleep, I will live forever, and I will live here. Startling white and purple vistas surround me, I am in a way the freest pony to have ever lived. This is literally my own world, I can shape it and influence it without the constraints of any others.

The fact that I have my own world is little comfort in my remoteness though, in another way I am the least free pony ever. The blank vast fields of the moon have become an open prison. The sweeping open plains of dusty rock that are pale white when contrasted against the body my sister raises, and inky black when without the sun's intrusive gleam.

My night is…was beautiful, one cannot appreciate beauty until someone sees something in the clear white moonlight. Sunlight has a yellow tint to it, it blurs and distorts in its precocious strength, but moonlight is a pale white. Not too strong and not too weak... perfect. When one sees a meadow, the flowers giving it a multitude of colour and subsequent beauty, in the moonlight. Then one knows the true essence of Equestria's natural grace.

Each bead of due reflects and refracts the light to every different part of the meadow, these pinpoints of twinkling white light move and sway in the cool night breeze. Contrasting with the colour of the flowers, the whole meadow may as well be a sea of stars. A single mass made up of so many different components, all working together to give what I can only describe as natural perfection. A blanket of hazy, and yet crystal clear light and colour all illuminated and made corporeal by my beautiful moon's light. I am still unclear as to why our…rather my sister's subjects decide to laugh and play in the daylight, it makes no sense to me. They had the opportunity to go out when the sun glared, burnt and obnoxiously cast it's vibrant hand everywhere, or when my beloved moon illuminates the land, casting a gentle glow. Why would anypony not favour my beautiful moon's silver embrace?

Embrace, that word, I used to embrace my sister. We'd embrace every time we switched shifts, we would hold the contact before letting go and smiling at each other, such a tender but sacred ritual. I sweep my wings around my body, and feel some comfort in my loneliness…no, I refuse to accept that. I am remote not lonely, I refuse to admit I need others. And yet, as I look upon the beautiful sea of tranquillity I feel a pang, maybe I don't need others, just…want them. There would be no point, they hate me anyway. I am the younger, the smaller, the lesser of the two sisters. After all, it took my sister two weeks to stop me and send me here, all because I wanted appreciatio., I just wanted our subjects to know the true beauty and superiority of my gorgeous nigh. I wanted to help them, I just thought that if they basked in m night forevermore, they may come to thank me. Maybe even love me like they love Celestia. But it was for nought, they hated it, they hated me, my sister was the one to send me to these chalky plains of crater and shadow.

She used the same things we used to overcome the God of Chaos, Discord, the elements of harmony. When we used them I embodied Magic, Generosity and Loyalty, my sister was Laughter, Kindness and Honesty, and yet she managed to use them all against me. She embodied all of those things, it is no wonder our subjects thought me inferior. It's because I was, I paled in comparison to her. When she entered the room she glowed, literally. She possessed an aura of pure radiance unlike myself. I had the opposite effect, I was a princess of the night, and as such I literally was dark; I sucked light from the room, and ponies hated that. They looked to my sister and averted their eyes from myself the effect of my aura because it was unappealing, and when contrasted against my sister it was downright ugly.

I wonder if she misses me? Every night I have been here I have seen a twinkle on the blue-green orb below, always a golden twinkle at the same time like clockwork. I used to wonder what it was, but then it hit me. it was her, my sister, she was moving the moon now. After learning this I went through three stages, first was indignation, how dare she? My sister sends me to the moon, where I cannot see the effect of the moonlight on Equestria's rolling hills and sweeping panoramas, and then she moves me with it, like a child with a toy. However soon I became concerned, my sister was moving the moon and the sun. She was getting no rest, and even an immortal Alicorn like her cannot sustain that amount of work. However, as most of my thoughts they eventually subsided into apathy, I no longer cared, in my crushing loni…remoteness, and boredom. I simply couldn't summon the energy to be bothered.

When I had been here a few months I had used my magic to carve a pony out of rock; not because I was lonely but…because I… I… I wanted a challenge. I wanted to get my rage out, anything was feasible, but not out of loneliness.rous. I left the stone idol alone after completing it, but it was a presence. It was constant and always there, many ponies would have found it comforting to have a constant and unshakable presence, many need something reliable. However I needed something sporadic and radical.

I had been living in an alien field of rock, and everything was consistent, everything too reliable. The twinkle of Celestia raising the pearly white orb that upon I now resided, the noise of the gentle winds, the feeling of the pale chalky dust that built up on my fetlocks. The hollow noise of space a sort of dull and empty roar, and unfulfilled moan of suppressed passion. I loved the moon when I was watching it, seeing it's effects on the land that I loved almost equally, but when I was up here... let's just say opinions can change. I began to resent it's unrelenting reliability…or predictability seemed like a more apt phrase, and this stone pony didn't help. It only cemented knowledge that I was in a forced routine, a monotonous list of events that I had no control in. The first time I talked to it was when I realised I couldn't remember what I looked like properly. Of course I could remember features, it wasn't a blank canvas in my head, but I couldn't remember my own visage with any accuracy. It shocked me so much that I had to do anything to be different, anything at all. I remembered the first conversation well,

"I, I know you can't talk, I know you're not real, but…" I had walked away after that, and the next day I tried again, but it wasn't until the third try that I had a coherent conversation.

"I, I don't know why I am doing this, I…" a fear I had never known before or since gripped me. I looked into its craggy eyes.
"I just… I want it to go back, I want to see my sister again, I just want another chance." The cold rock I once thought so beautiful had never seen any liquid until that first actual conversation, the first time I cried. I realised something then and there as I stared at it…at her. I had made her to look happy, she was smiling warmly at me, why would I do that... why would I care how it looked?

Whatever I wanted didn't matter, I decided to be the outsider looking in. I removed my own feelings from the equation. I was still the princess of the moon, and so I had to make my subject happy. I made a companion for my rock creation, and in turn I made a companion for her. Soon I had given my creations company, and I felt an old spark return because these were my creations, my subjects. I couldn't raise the moon for them but still without me there would be no them. I was talking to them frequently. They had ceased to be simply objects to interrupt the boredom of the moon's schedule, but had become companions. They were no longer just plain obelisks, but something I cared about.

And that was it, I had been on the moon so long by then. Months had turned into years, years to decades, decades to centuries, and the answer had been staring me in the face. I was there because I hadn't considered the feelings of her subjects. So what if they preferred the day? As a ruler I should have done my duty. I found the first stone pony I made, the years would have weathered her if it weren't for my constant upkeep, and I kissed her in gratitude. Then I galloped. I knew where to go instinctively, years of living here had cause the unchanging vistas to become a part of my makeup. I stopped at the place where I had first found myself all those years ago, and I screamed into the inky sky.

"Sister, I understand now, I was cruel to my subjects, I know my wrongs!"

I waited there for months staring at the unchanging sky. Its pinpricks of light stared back, but there was no shining sun. There was no Celestia come to save me, I was still very much remote. When I got back there they were, they had done this, and they were all staring at me. I couldn't remember making them like that, did I make them all looking at the spot I was standing in? I felt myself grow angry under their glare, how dare they look upon me, they who had sown the seeds of hope in my head, only to have me be let down. One by one, my horn glowing with an indigo energy, I destroyed them, each and every one crumbled, until finally I stood in a self-made courtyard of rubble, only one remained, the first one I had made, I didn't care if she was smiling, to me she may as well have been laughing maniacally.

"Why, why did you make me think I had redeemed myself?" She didn't answer me,

"Say something!" I shrieked, she didn't say anything.

"ANSWER ME, I MADE YOU, I AM YOUR PRINCESS, I COMMAND YOU TO SAY SOMETHING…Please," again I felt an unnatural feeling. It was liquid, I was crying again, but as I looked into her stone orbs I felt rage.

"You did this! Just answer me! Just say something! Why won't you answer me? Just say something! Please say something!" I punctuated every phrase with a blow with my hooves. I smashed it apart, and then stood above it breathing heavily. However not a moment after her destruction I realised what I had done. I picked up the crumbled remains of her once beautiful features and cradled them. The moon had never seen so much moisture as I cried myself to sleep.

That was years ago, and I haven't left this cratersince The winds on the moon aren't strong enough to move the chips of debris I made. I don't cry anymore, but I have to come to one realisation. The most important realisation I have ever come to, and I should have realised it years ago. I am lonely up here, not remote, but feeling alone. I am lost without others, I have nothing except my crater of rubble. I used to think I was simply in a remote place, no, I insisted on it. I realised why my first and most beautiful creation had been smiling and looking happy. It was to comfort myself, to have a presence that wan't bland or apathetic, but happy and vibrant... like my sister. But I know now, I am the loneliest pony there has ever been. I would do anything to get back down there, anything at all. I am alone, and I always have been up here. I have always and will always be lonely, because there is no one with me now. I am the freest and most constrained, I am the most remote and alone, because I am the only one who sailed to the moon.