The Equestrian Adventure(s) of Dumplin

by Dawn Flower

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Starlight Glimmer, Original Character, Spike, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3670

When Starlight Glimmer tries messing with time, she comes face to face with the Demon God Dumplin.

Welcome back to the Adventures of Dumplin.

When we last left our hero, he had defeated Demigra, become the new Demon God, and restored order to the timeline.

Choosing to stay on with the Time Patrol after noticing that he was the only one who could actually get things done, Dumplin completed many more missions, trained under new masters and learned their techniques, seduced Towa and made her his new Top Bitch, and established the Church of the Fuck Box. All in all, Dumplin has certainly come a long way since Trunks first summoned him.

Then one day, when someone new starts messing with time, Dumplin must travel to a completely new world in order to stop them.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright of Hasbro
Dragon Ball Z is copyright of Akira Toriyama
Dumplin is an OC created by Team Four Star

Published 2016-04-13 16:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-08 12:22:25 UTC

Into the Xenoverse

Dumplin didn’t have any missions to do at the moment, and he had already learned everything that any ‘Masters’ – and he used the term lightly (except for Mr. Satan (Hail Satan!)) – could teach him. He had also recently sent his Daddies to the Fuck Box, so he had some time to himself before their friends wished them back. Right now he was simply doing the Dumplin Strut around the Time Nest. Unfortunately, no matter how many times he said it, no one else would do it. It was okay, though. He would send them all to the Fuck Box eventually.

“Dumplin Strut. Dumplin Strut. Everybody do the Dumplin Strut. Dumplin Strut. Dumplin Strut. Everybody do the Dumplin Strut.” As he was Dumplin Strutting around the place, he saw the hot Majin girl, Layla. “Hey, girl, we should bang later.”

However, before he could continue this conversation further, he suddenly felt a powerful feeling deep inside. “I’m gonna dump!” He yelled out. He then quickly turned around and started booking it towards the bathroom, but then suddenly, his scouter started beeping. He simply stopped where he was and pressed the button on the side to respond. “You got Dumplin.”

“Dumplin, it’s Trunks,” the response came. “I need you to come to the Time Vault. We’ve detected another time distortion and we need your help to fix it.”

“Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh.”

“Dumplin, I’ve stopped talking…”

“Alright, calm down. I’m on my way.” He then clicked his scouter again to end the conversation and raced off towards the Time Vault, where Trunks would be. It was alright that he couldn’t dump, though. He could dump all over his soon to be opponent.

When he arrived at the Time Vault, Trunks was already there, waiting for him.

“Hey!” Trunks shouted, greeting him.

“Hey!” Dumplin responded in kind.

“Now then,” Trunks continued in his normal tone of voice. “Like I said, we’ve detected another distortion in the flow of time. However, unlike all the other times, this wasn’t caused by Demigra’s powers. It seems that there’s someone else out there messing with time.” He then passed Dumplin the Scroll of Eternity, which was currently emanating wisps of dark energy.

Taking it, Dumplin unrolled the scroll. As he started reading it, a vision appeared in the scroll.

The vision showed a small, blue pegasus filly, with a rainbow coloured mane flying through the sky. She moved very fast, passing through several cloud rings, with two pegasus colts trailing behind her. It was obvious that they were having a race.

As she turned to pass through another cloud ring, she smiled when she saw that one of the colts wasn’t able to make the sharp turn and crashed into a cloud. However, while she was distracted by this, the other colt slammed into her, knocking her out of the way. “Heh. Later, Rainbow Crash!” He called out to her as he passed her.

“Hey!” The rainbow maned filly called out in annoyance. Getting back into the race, she suddenly banked hard and flew straight down, quickly picking up speed, with a mach cone building up around her.

As she passed by a small cloud, however, the vision focused on that, as a purple unicorn, with a pink mane with aquamarine highlights held up in a ponytail, rose up out of the clouds, with a light turquoise aura surrounding her body, and a devilish smirk on her face. “Aww, sorry about this,” she said in a faux apologetic tone.

When she turned to face the pegasus filly, the scroll suddenly focused back on her, as she became surrounded in the same colour aura as the unicorn, forcing her to slow down and come to a complete stop.

“Hey! What gives?!” The filly wondered. She tried hard to break out of the magical grasp, but she couldn’t budge an inch. A moment later, the brown pegasus colt from before flew passed her and crossed the finish line, where he was met with a huge round of applause from the gathered foals.

Once the race was over, the scroll then started showing a variety of different visions.

There was a yellow pegasus filly in a meadow, surrounded by all sorts of woodland critters, like bunnies, butterflies, ducks and beavers. However, while it looked like they were all happy to be with her, they then all just suddenly lost interest in her and walked away, leaving the pegasus filly alone and upset.

There was an orange earth pony filly sitting by the window sill, looking out at a large city. After a long moment of just staring out the window, she then closed the curtain and walked back inside, looking sad.

There was a pink earth pony filly rolling some small stones into a pile, looking depressed. After wiping the sweat from her brow, she briefly looked up, hoping that something interesting might happen. When nothing did, she just rolled her eyes and went back to work.

There was a white unicorn filly being dragged along by her horn until she crashed right into a giant rock. After flipping out and calling the rock dumb, she knocked the rock over the edge of the cliff and walked home.

A purple unicorn filly was in the middle of a classroom, pointing her horn at a purple and purple spotted egg, looking like she was concentrating really hard. After she only managed to squeeze out a tiny spark from her horn, she gave up and slumped in defeat.

When the scroll’s vision ended, Dumplin looked back to Trunks, who explained. “I know this doesn’t look like much, but this one change has the potential to completely destroy this timeline. We need you to go there and fix it.”

Dumplin simply nodded in response, understanding what he needed to do. He then held the Scroll of Eternity tightly and became enveloped in its glow as it transported him through time.

Twilight and Spike flew down from the time portal, having returned to the past yet again, narrowly avoiding Starlight Glimmer’s attack.

“Up for another race-ending fight, Twilight?” Starlight asked, standing on a cloud.

“No, you were right. I can’t stop you.” Twilight said, landing on a cloud across from her, looking down. However, she immediately looked strong again and quickly blocked another one of Starlight’s magic attacks. “But you can’t stop me from trying, and we could be stuck doing this for all eternity.”

“If that’s what it takes to keep you and your friends from getting your cutie mark connection, then I’m game!”

Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light to her right, and they both turned to see what it was. After the light faded, they saw a strange grey creature floating in the air. It had a swirl-like pompadour on its head, and dressed in clothes of green, yellow and pink, with a heart pattern in the centre of the chest.

Looking as confused as anypony would be after seeing such a creature, the only thought that came to Starlight’s mind was, “What the heck is that?” which she verbalised.

“I’m the Demon God Dumplin,” the mysterious creature announced, bearing down, “and I’m gonna Dump.”

Starlight blinked. After hearing that, she was now even more confused, and this time, the only thing she could say was, “What?”

Dumplin then quickly launched himself forward, towards Starlight, catching her by surprise and punched her right in her face, which sent her flying backwards.

What? was again all Starlight Glimmer could think, angling her head so that she could see him, as she was sent hurdling back.

Quickly wrapping her body with her magic in order to steady herself in the air, Starlight then shot a beam of turquoise coloured magic energy out of her horn, towards him. Seeing the attack coming, Dumplin dodged to the side in time. “Magic, huh?” Dumplin said, noticing that that last attack wasn’t Ki. He then cracked a smile. “Well luckily, I use magic too.” He then held both hands out in front of him. “Dumplin’s Last Blast!” He shouted out as he shot a powerful beam of yellow coloured magic energy at her.

Oh, how cute, he named i- Oh shit! Her eyes went wide as the attack hit her, catching her in the blast. Fortunately, her own magic protected her from being completely obliterated by it, and she was instead knocked back after sustaining a bit of damage.

Before she could completely recover from the attack, however, Dumplin then put his hands together in a triangle shape. “Geometry!” He called out, shooting a triangle shaped blast of energy at Starlight, which hit her, and continued on passed her, somehow leaving a square shaped hole in the cloud behind her.

With her magical aura still surrounding her entire body, she steadied herself in the air again. With a grunt, Starlight then turned to face Twilight, with an eyebrow raised. “So, is this your backup, Twilight?” She asked the purple alicorn.

“Not exactly,” Twilight replied, flying up next to Dumplin, with a strong look of determination on her face. “But right now, I need all the help I can get if I’m going to beat you, so I’ll gladly accept his help.”

“Just don’t steal my kill,” Dumplin said, turning his head to face her.

“What?” Twilight asked, turning her head to face him, but instead of responding, he quickly sped towards Starlight again, catching her off guard, and catching her in a combo of rapid fire punches. After the combo ended, he then grabbed her by the tail before was sent flying away. “Yak Yak Yak.” He chanted as he grappled her from side to side, before rearing back and throwing her away.

Using her magic, Starlight was able to steady herself again quickly and fired a beam of magic from her horn, towards Dumplin. However, the Demon God simply dodged to the side in time to avoid it. He then launched into another punch combo, but this time, Starlight dodged in time and then quickly flew up to get away from him. Dumplin furrowed his brow in annoyance as she dodged, and quickly sped off after her. “Get in the combo, bitch,” he said as he chased after her. He managed to catch up to her quickly and caught her in another punch combo. “Get dumped!” He said, hitting Starlight from below, and knocking her even higher up into the sky.

As she was knocked back, Twilight flew up towards her and shot a purple coloured beam of magic of her own from her horn, hitting her square on. Dumplin then flew up to hit her again; however, opening her eyes, Starlight was able to see him coming and teleported out of the way in time.

Appearing just behind Dumplin, she quickly shot a beam of magic at him, striking him in the back. Knocking him off guard, she then quickly flew after him and unleashed her own combo of punches into the Demon God’s face as he was turned around. As she was about to throw her final punch, however, he managed to block, and then quickly launched a punch of his own at her, catching her in another combo. Charging up a bit of energy after knocking her away, he then released another ‘Last Blast’ right in her face.

However, Starlight managed to raise a shield fast enough in order to avoid all damage from the attack. When the blast ended, she then quickly flew towards him before he could react and rammed into him head first with her horn, knocking him back. She then tried to do the same thing again, but Dumplin saw her coming this time and dodged to the side. He then released another ‘Last Blast’, hitting her before she could raise her shield.

After the last ‘Last Blast’ knocked her into a cloud, the cloud walking spell that she set up earlier made it so that she collided with it instead of smashing through it. The soft surface allowing her to open her eyes again immediately, she was able to see Dumplin coming towards her, and she was able to teleport out of the way just in time, while Dumplin ended up smashing through the cloud.

Twilight then flew up beside Starlight, shooting her with a magic blast, with Spike on her back, who blew a small wisp of fire at her when he was within range. Being knocked back a bit from that attack, Starlight then raised her shield again, to block another follow up attack, and started focusing her attention on the two of them.

Seeing that his enemy was currently distracted, Dumplin flew up higher into the sky and began charging up energy. After about five seconds of this, he had charged up enough energy for his final attack. “The Saviour has Come!!!” He announced. He then quickly sped off towards Starlight again.

Starlight had managed to avoid or block all of Twilight’s follow up attacks, just like all the other times they had fought previously, but the Princess did serve as enough of a distraction to keep her from avoiding Dumplin’s next combo attack. After punching her repeatedly and sending her flying back, he then put his hands together again. “Dumplin’s Last Blaaaaast!” He screamed, putting all of his energy into the attack. The attack hit her dead on, catching her in the yellow stream of magic energy.

After the attack ended and she was sent hurdling backwards, Starlight tried to steady herself in the air again, however, she suddenly felt herself take a dip in altitude, and her horn sparked as she felt her magic start to fade. She tried as hard as she could to keep her magic going, however, after being hit by that last attack, she simply didn’t have any magic power left. The turquoise aura surrounding her body started to flicker and then it completed disappeared, causing her to start falling out of the sky.

As she fell, Dumplin then flew up so that he was directly above her. “Now, bitch,” he started, forming a ball of magic energy in his hands and raising it up above his head. “Get in the Fuck Box!” He shouted. He then released his final blast straight down, towards Starlight, hitting her dead on.

While before, attacks like this just hit against her, causing damage, this time, after the long battle, she didn’t have any energy left to resist and was completely engulfed in the attack. “Aaaaaaaaaaggghhhhh!” She screamed as the attack hit her. This… can’t… be… She thought as she was consumed by the blast.

Her vision became consumed by white, and she felt a pain so intense that she felt nothing at all. She also heard a voice, which was soon joined by another and then another. She couldn’t place where she had heard these voices before, but she knew them deep down in her core being. With a final deluge of emotions, she wept without a sound. Now and forever.

A moment later, the attack finally faded away, along with all traces of Starlight Glimmer. When it was all over, Dumplin just smiled in victory. “K.O.”

Just off to the side, Twilight simply stared at the outcome of the battle. After having witnessed Starlight’s defeat, Twilight didn’t know how to feel exactly. While she knew that Starlight was a serious threat and needed to be stopped, she didn’t think that she needed to die. She turned to the side to look at Dumplin, but before she could say anything, there was suddenly a bright flash of light and a popping noise which caught her attention.

Looking over to see what it was, she saw a giant explosion of rainbow colours that shattered the light spectrum, and was rapidly moving outwards, reaching all over Equestria. The Sonic Rainboom had happened just like it was supposed to. This fact alone brought a smile to her face.

Looking back over to where Dumplin was again, she noticed that he wasn’t there anymore. She looked from side to side and all over the sky trying to spot him, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Uh, Twilight,” Spike said, poking her neck to get her attention. When she turned back to look at him, he continued. “So… what do we do now?” He asked.

Thinking about how to respond, Twilight looked down in contemplation. “Well, while this may not be how I wanted it to happen, Starlight Glimmer’s been defeated and everything is how it should be. There’s nothing more we can do.” She then turned back to look at Spike. “Let’s go home.” She said, with a light smile on her face.

Spike simply nodded back at her, with a comforting smile of his own.

The time portal then opened up above them again and they flew into it, returning to their own time.

Meanwhile, Dumplin returned to the Time Vault. With a flash of light, he was once again standing in front of Trunks, who greeted him upon his return. “Alright, you did it, Dumplin.”

“You doubted me?” Dumplin said, looking up at him.

Trunks immediately sweat dropped. “Wh-what? N-no, of course not,” he stammered, waving his hands out in front of him. “I had complete faith in you as always.” He said, now sounding more relaxed.

Dumplin smiled at that, showing him that he was fine with it, and Trunks returned it in kind. Dumplin then handed Trunks back the Scroll of Eternity, which was once again free from corruption now that the timeline had been restored.

“Well, come on then,” Trunks said, putting the scroll away and walking out of the Time Vault. “The Supreme Kai of Time cooked you something special for a job well done.”

At that, Dumplin’s eyes immediately shrank to pin pricks. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Meanwhile, in a place that no words can describe, which made it easier on the author.

With a small flash, Starlight Glimmer appeared, floating in a void-like area. “Where… Where am I?” She asked. The last thing that she remembered was being blasted by Dumplin’s attack.

Suddenly, she felt something touch her shoulder. Turning around to see what it was, her eyes widened in fear when she saw that it was a disfigured hand. “Aaaaaaahhhhhhh. Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!” She screamed repeatedly, waving her hooves about.

“Whoa, whoa, calm down,” she heard a voice say next to her. Hearing someone else calmed her down a little and she turned to see who it was. “Just relax and let the many hands do their work.”

Many? Starlight thought, looking back again. She then saw that there were actually dozens of hands touching her back, causing her to start freaking out again. “Oh Goddess, this is so creepy,” she winced. However, after a few seconds, she started to calm down a bit. “Although I have to admit, they know all the right spots to hit.” She said, feeling like she was getting a massage.

The guy simply smiled back at her before continuing. “Let me guess,” he said. “You’re someone who tried messing with time and then ended up fighting against the Demon God Dumplin and lost. Am I right?”

Starlight winced a bit in embarrassment before responding. “Y-yeah, kind of.”

He just laughed a bit before responding. “Yeah, don’t worry. So did everybody else here. Don’t feel bad.” When he saw Starlight’s confused expression, he continued with his explanation. “Since you’re probably still confused, allow me to enlighten you. This here is a world inside of the Demon God Dumplin where he sends everyone that he defeats and adds their power to his own.” He then held his hand out towards her for a handshake. “Welcome to the Fuck Box, I’m Geoff.”

“Starlight Glimmer,” she responded, meeting his hand with her hoof, after a moment of hesitation, still trying to take this all in. She then took another look around at where she was; this ‘Fuck Box’. “So… is there any way out of here?”

“Not unless you’ve got friends with Dragon Balls.” Geoff responded. When he saw her slump at that, he just patted her on the back, causing her to look back at him. “Don’t worry; it’s really not that bad here. We’ve got the many hands, a bunch of vintage video games, and at the rate that Dumplin is defeating people, you’ll never be alone. It’s great.” He then beamed as he got an idea. “Hey, I know, why don’t you join us for Golden Axe? Lirran just left and we need one more player,” he said to her, passing her a controller.

Looking at it closely for a moment, she took a hold of it with her magic. She then looked back at Geoff and smiled. “Alright, I’m in.”

“Sensational,” Geoff exclaimed. He then turned back around, and a television and a Sega Mega Drive appeared in front of them, attached to the controller that Starlight, and now Geoff held.

As Starlight continued playing the game, she couldn’t help but smile despite her situation. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

Author's Note

If any of you are wondering why this fight didn’t distract the racers like Twilight and Starlight’s earlier fight, that’s what would have happened if Dumplin didn’t win the match in fifteen minutes.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the story, and it feels great to be writing again. I really hope that I can keep this up and…
*knock knock*
Oh, hold on. I have to go get the door.
*Opens the door*
Dumplin: Get in the Fuck Box, bitch!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sequel

Good news, everyone. Dumplin has agreed to let me out of the Fuck Box if I write a sequel. Good thing, too. As great as the Fuck Box is, there are far too many distractions, which keep me from writing. Anyway, the sequel is up now. Here’s the link.