journey of a thousand seconds
It was a normal day for Mr. potato man fending off attacks, eating civilians and burning the world just like that toaster had taught him to. All was in complete chaos before he took a NASA ship and flew off to his home planet the big empty he needed advice if what he was doing is right. The toaster said there's a rare snow globe he has and he would give it to the potato if he completed his assignment.
Mr. potato man found that unbelievable but if he did have it his snow globe collection would be complete. The somewhat evil potato accepted his mission but when he took the NASA ship back to earth he was wearing a blindfold and accidentally fell into a rift in time and space. Somehow he landed in Equestria and fell unconscious. Days later Mr. potato man started to regain consciousness....
"Are Ya'll alright?" exclaimed by a pony
"ughhh.. I can't see."
"Yeah Ya'll can't you have a blindfold on." said calmly while removing his blindfold
Potato man jumped in the air surprised
"Wh.. wh. what in the glorious name of satan are you?!?!" the potato said while frightened
"What am I? What are you?! Ya'll look like a potato. Anyways i'm a filly"
wow a talking horse I must be high potato man thought
"A talking horse? I must have got bumped real hard last thing I remember is a light.. Could you point me in the direction of the nearest town?"
As the pony Pointed her hoof right she didn't tell him that he had to go through the everfree forest.
Mr potato man was humming a song while walking blindly into the Everfree forest Later he finds himself in a staring competition with a cockatrice.
"Give up yet stupid cock?" said while he chuckled"
"scootaloo noise"
"I'm starting to turn stone but how? Are you medusa's pet cock or something?"
"two scootaloo noises"
"Lucky I can spit acid."
As Mr. potato man killed the cockatrice he broke free from his stone imprisonment with his acid but before he knew it a phoenix attacked him and started gnawing at his potato skin. Mr. potato man started screaming for help but instead a chicken came out of nowhere and started eating his potato skin aswell but the phoenix knew the chicken was stealing its food and started to attack the chicken this gave Mr. potato man time to escape but instead he started a cooking pot and said for them to calm down. while potato man was cooking some of himself in a pot he spit acid in their food like an evil restaurant. Once they fell down like sacks of potatoes. Mr. potato man ate the phoenix then he left the everfree forest.
Moments later Mr. potato man has finally reached ponyville... a pony approaches
Hopping all around is a pink pony saying...
"WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME!!! WELCOME TO PONYVILLE!! Hi i'm pinkie pie what's your name?"
Potato man was shocked by such an unusual greeting but he stayed calm
"Mr. potato man"
"That's a funny name. Where are you from?"
"I'm not quite sure I hit my head pretty hard."
"Oooooohhhh a guessing game let me think... Sweet apple acre's? canterlot? The groun-"
"No No No I forgot where I came from."
Wow she's an idiot potato man thought
"Oh um sorry."
"No it's fine. I forgot a lot of things one thing is for sure the light is mysterious"
"Okie dokie lokie Goodbye mister."
"Before you go is there anywhere that might help my search?" the potato asked loudly
"Twilight might be able to help she's usually in her library near the middle of the town. Bye."
as Mr. potato man walked calmy towards the library he tripped on a rock and cut his knee. Needless to say he was shouting for help. One yellow coated Pegasus came to his aid and asked what's wrong. As soon as potato man shown his knee the Pegasus put a bandage on it. After 10 days in the hospital potato man found it in him to go to twilights library.
"KNOCK KNOCK... I'm saying knock knock because there's no doorbell." said jokingly
"Come in."
"Umm I suppose your twilight?"
"Yes that's me what do you need?"
"I need your help finding the light and regaining my memory.."
"what's the light?"
"I don't know idiot I seem to have lost my... MEMORY!"
"Alright calm down featherbrain I think I might have a book about light lets see... how to use Lights deathnote um... How to reflect light uh... Ah here it is The light"
"WHAT DOES IT SAY!!!!!" said in the toasters voice"
"Could you please be quiet while i read... Ahem. To find the light you must first find the elements of harmony... The rest of it is blank!"
"alright lets set out and find or steal the elements of harmony!!"
"I remember a ponytail that there's one in the everfree forest."
"Lets go"
As Mr. potato man ventures into the everfree forest He found a dead chicken that looks like it was killed by acid after he had eaten it they started searching for the first element Twilight came across an abandoned shack. Twilight had decided to go down it without potato man once she had screamed our hero rushed to her voice only to have been trapped by dogs..
"What do you bitches need?" potato man said angrily as he gave the dogs the stare of a thousand yards
"Hey were not female don't call us bitches and wipe that look of your face."
"Fine bastards it is. Listen to your new master and let me go"
"We need that unicorn to find us rubys in our mine and we need you for our DINNER!" said the dogs while maniacally laughing"
"i'll find you all a lot of rubys if you eat her and let me live"
"NO! Don't eat me the potato will taste better and i uhh.. Have a disease. Yes i have the uh.. ick yeah the ick" said twilight while making silly faces
After carefully deciding the three dogs have decided to eat the potato but potato man has one trick up his sleeve. He spit all over himself right the second they ate some of him they fell down unconscious but not dead. potato man then spit on twilights chains that were imprisoning her in. they had escaped together but before they left they found one of the dogs wearing an element of harmony twilight took it and escaped.
What happens next? find out on the next DRAGO- i mean chapter.
Mr. potato man looking back at his past he remembers... NOTHING AT ALL HE LOST HIS MEMORY! Putting that aside the team of two set out to find the second element which they both knew none of its whereabouts. Twilight told potato man to go back to the library while she asked around about the second element. Once potato man and twilight made it out of the forest with only 12 casualties. potato man went back to the library and started playing with spike while twilight asked around. 5 hours later she had found out where the second element was thanks to pinkie pie's random knowledge. The second element was in Ursas cave. A cave pinkie described to be filled with monsters. Potato man set off to Ursas cave in search for the second element. Twilight tagged along offering her assistance as she went on about a giant bear eating potato man if he's not careful.
"Twilight do you even know where the cave is" the brave potato exclaimed while scratching his potato head
"It's somewhere around everfree forest and the swamp" the purple pony said with a doubtful look on her face
"Alright lets go to the swamp first" said as he jumped in the air excited
Once they made it to the swamp they found a ball in the middle of the swamp. Potato man had no fear and hit the ball. After he was done hitting it he decided to go look elsewhere but before he could make it back to twilight a monster jumped out and attacked our hero. Twilight then used her magic to teleport potato man to her. She then shouted "RUN!!!" potato man ran straight into a cave along with twilight once in there they found an even bigger monster.
" I told you there was a huge bear in the swamp caves" twilight said while she was exhausted from running
" The two monsters will fight each other" The potato said with a funny look on his face
"I hope your right potato"
The two monsters did fight each other like potato man said but as soon as the bear ate the swamp monster potato man jumped in the bears nose and started Rapin- I mean punching its uvula. The monster had started vomiting
everywhere and passed out potato man felt a thump on his head that was covered in vomit and found the second element. Potato man ran out of the cave dripping in vomit all the way back to the library with twilight.
"Ok now what twilight?" the humble potato asked with a graceful look
"I don't know" the purple pony said full of questions
"Give me the book twilight I will find out what to do" the potato said as he took the book away from twilight and started reading it as soon as he finished reading it he drew on the book with ink and proceeded to call twilight an idiot for not noticing the horribly written words that said the next element was in a nearby farm. The potato set out to the nearby farm twilight decided to stay home with spike and play games.
What happens next? What does he find at the farm? Find out on the next... BOBOBOBOB- I mean chapter
Intersection (short clip)
Before potato man left he asked for directions to a nearby farm
"Twilight do you know any farms near us?"
"Yes I do one is called sweet apple acres it's in our town you will find it" the purple pony said while playing with a dragon
"I'll just show him where it is twilight" said the dragon wearing his pimp coat- I mean scales
As the dragon proceeded to show him where it is potato man found it at last all by himself no thanks to spike. The baby dragon came back home to twilight while potato man stepped on sweet apple acres. As he ran through sweet apple acres an orange pony found him.
"HI I am applejack" the friendly pony said
"Have you seen a little filly with red hair today at all?" the orange pony asked full of worry
"No not today" the potato said
"Alright I guess i'll go"
"Good bye" the brave potato said while running into a random shacks downstairs.
The potato heard noises coming from a room next to the one he was in. The brave potato decided to sneak up and listen in on what they were saying. Our hero heard...
"All y'all are making too much noise first one to scream gets there tongue cut out"
The potato used his warrior screech and got chained up beside three other fillies.
"i'll told you I hate noise all i want is peace and quiet your first to get your tongue cut off potato" the insane pony said slowly
As big mac reached into potato mans mouth his hoof was burnt by our heroes acid saliva. After big mac fell down in pain and unconscious potato man did what he does best and spit on his chains. The cmc were still chained up potato man decided to bargain with them. The deal was apple bloom has to provide him with a lifetime of apples, sweetie belle has to make him a dress that is explosive and scootaloo was to give him a Pegasus feather. The three fillies accepted and as soon as they did potato man spit on their chains. The fillies ran off back home to tell their family what had happened. The second they got out of sight potato man turned big mac over and started eating him after he was finished he ran all back to twilights house and explained everything.
End chapter
