Alicornitus

by billymorph

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 22786

After Twilight and her friends rediscover Starswirl’s last spell in the ruins of Golden Oaks Library Rainbow Dash asks, ‘why can’t we all become alicorns?’

After Twilight and her friends rediscover Starswirl’s last spell in the ruins of Golden Oaks Library Rainbow Dash asks, ‘why can’t we all become alicorns?’ Now Ponyville is host to five brand new alicorns and the girls have everything they could ever want; magic, flight, power, influence and all of Equestria wide-open before them... but being a Princess is far more than just having wings and a horn.

With thanks to Luna-tic Scientist, Lord of Dorkness, docontra, and JCatt for their help pre-reading. Cover image by Pixel-Prism.

Published 2016-04-14 18:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-29 10:47:04 UTC

Princess Twilight's Bad Day

It was a grey and miserable day as Princess Twilight Sparkle trudged through Ponyville’s marketplace, picking her way around the muddy puddles. She wore her golden hoof-covers and the rest of her regalia poked out of her saddlebags. Twilight walked as if it weighed more than the heavens.

“Oh cheer up, Twilight. At least the Mayor finished on time,” Spike said, patting her on the back. He sat perched between Twilight’s wings, juggling a scroll, quill and inkpot as he finished scribbling down notes.

Twilight sighed. “Yeah, funny how much faster things seem to go when I’m wearing a crown.”

“Hey, don’t knock the crown, I’ll wear it if you don’t want to.”

She shot a look over her shoulder that could have cut glass.

“Okay, fine. I won’t wear your crown without permission.” Twilight arched her eyebrow at him. Spike crossed his arms across his chest. “Or tell ponies you ordered them to do something. Geeze, will you give that a rest already?”

“I’ll tell you what, Spike,” Twilight said, smiling. “The next time I usurp royal authority and flood part of a palace, you can hold it over my head for months on end.”

“I’m making a note of that,” Spike muttered, scrawling it down. “Knowing our lives it’s bound to happen again at some point.”

“What, you pretending you’re a Princess, or somepony flooding a castle?”

Spike paused, tapping the quill against his lips. “Probably both. I wouldn’t mind a little bit of authority around here. Ponies keep treating me like your secretary for some reason.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “‘Heavy is the head that bears the crown, Spike.’ It seems I spend just as much time being a Princess these days as being Twilight Sparkle.” She frowned. “And the Mayor’s eleven point six recurring meetings a week are not helping.”

“Oh come on, there’s not that many.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “We’ve had five meetings this week, and it’s Wednesday, do the math.” A bitter sigh escaped her. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but a pony can only talk so long about libraries.”

Spike let out an incredulous snort. “I’m writing that one down as well.”

A shadow fell upon the pair as they approached the Castle of Friendship. Twilight gazed up at the palace, sighed, shook her head, and continued to plod through the mud.

“It’s still not home, is it?”

“No.” Twilight forced herself to smile. “But with good friends it’ll get there soon enough.” Her magic wreathed the door and, with a grunt, she heaved it open. “Besides, the girls will be over soon and that’ll make a nice–”

“Surprise!” The world vanished in an explosion of noise and confetti. Twilight went head over hooves, landing in a deep puddle just beyond her front step.

“Hey Twilight!” Pinkie exclaimed, bounding over. “Guess what?”

Twilight groaned. “You found another party cannon?”

“No I– Hey, that’s right! Who told you?”

Dragging herself to her hooves, Twilight shook her head and beat the mud out of her wings. “Just a lucky guess.” She glanced around. “Hey, what happened to Spike?”

There was a muffled shout from under the mud. Twilight whirled, lighting her horn; there was a pop of displaced air and a dishevelled Spike appeared. He shook himself clean, the rain of mud soaking Twilight from horn to hoof. Again.

"Must you do that every time?" Twilight snarled through clenched teeth. There was a second flash of teleportation and a squelch as Twilight's saddle bags fell back into the mud. Twilight reappeared on the steps of the castle a moment later, mud and regalia free, and breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"I blame the mirror world," Spike said hurriedly.

Pinkie bounded over, putting a foreleg over Twilight's withers. "Aww, what's got you so grumpy today? It's a perfect day."

"Really?" Twilight cocked an eyebrow. "It's wet, I'm cold and just got hit in the face with confetti. Something that somepony promised wouldn't happen anymore."

A nervous chuckle escaped Pinkie Pie. "Sorry, Twilight. I don't think Gummy got the message yet. I'm pretty sure I cleared out all the cannons from your bedroom, though."

Twilight ground a hoof against her aching head. "And why would I want a party in my bedroom?"

"Duh, some of the best parties happen in bedrooms," Pinkie Pie said with a broad, guileless smile.

Electing to ignore that, Twilight shrugged Pinkie off and pushed her way into her castle. “Look, Pinkie, I know you’re trying to help but there are some days that require a little more than ballistic party decorations to fix.”

Pinkie’s face fell. “But you looked so miserable that I had to do something!” She grabbed Twilight and hauled her across the reception hall, planting her down on one of the many chaise lounges that Rarity had dotted around the castle. “Here,” she said, pulling a notepad and pencil out of her mane. “Tell Dr Pinkie all about it.”

“Urgh.” Twilight pressed a cushion over her eyes. “I’ve told you before, Pinkie, it's against the law to claim you’re a doctor.” Pinkie began to protest but—without opening her eyes—Twilight cut in. “And partyology is still not an actual degree, stop asking.”

“Ooo, you’re extra grouchy today,” Pinkie chirped, sweeping Twilight back onto her hooves. “I know just the cure for that.”

“I’ll bet a sapphire that it's a party,” Spike said, dragging Twilight’s saddlebags into the castle.

“Please, I’m not a one party pony.” Pinkie waved her fore hoof dismissively then paused, frowning. “One trick pony, I said trick. I know what a Friendship Princess really needs and that’s friends. And books! Come with me!”

Pinkie grabbed Twilight by her hock and dragged her through the castle. Faster than the alicorn would have believed possible she found herself hustled through a blur of corridors—a few that she didn’t recognise—and before she could catch her breath they burst into the library.

“Tadda! Friends and books.”

Twilight shot her a flat look, pointing a hoof at the empty shelves and distinct lack of other ponies.

“Huh.” Pinkie rubbed her chin with her hoof. “I was sure I left a pegasus, a unicorn and a huge pile of books here.” Her eyes widened suddenly. “Gasp! Were they stolen by a rampaging bookworm?”

“That’s bookwyrm, and they hibernate this time of year,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes. She set off at a trot between the empty shelves, heading deeper into the empty library.

“Oh phooey. I should return that harpoon then.” Pinkie paused. “So, what happened to the rest of the books?”

Twilight sighed, casting a forlorn look at the bare shelves. “The castle formed without any. That, and I’m having a hard time convincing the Equestrian Library Service to send me enough to fill more than a fraction. It turns out ‘act of centaur’ wasn’t on any of their insurance policies and they’re a little reluctant to give me any more.” She let out a bitter chuckle. “That and it took a royal order from Celestia to get me a new library card. Lousy wings.”

Shaking her head she continued. “Oh well, the first shipment should have arrived today and I can finally go back to being a librarian for a little while.” Twilight smiled, already imagining the smell of paper and binding, the thrill of discovery while poring through old tomes and the satisfaction of a reshelving well done. She couldn’t wait to start unpacking.

“Oh darlings, there you are.” Rarity’s crystal clear voice cut through Twilight’s thoughts and Twilight stopped dead. “I was wondering where you’d got to; Rainbow Dash was no help at all sorting all these books.”

Twilight wasn’t listening, she was too busy staring in open-mouthed horror at the ghastly sight behind Rarity.

Rarity flushed, bushing a minuscule speck of grime from her perfect coat. “Yes, I do suppose I’ve gotten a little bit dusty, but we all have to make some sacrifices in the name of a job well done.” She turned and regarded the shelves with a broad smile. “And it is so good to see this set of shelves properly stocked.”

“You... you sorted my books,” Twilight murmured.

“Ah, well yes, darling. When I heard how much trouble you were having with your new library, I couldn’t do anything less. We must do all we can to support our newest Princess, after all.” She paused, tilting her head at Twilight. “Are you quite alright?”

“You sorted my books, by colour!” Twilight jammed a hoof at the rainbow spread of books on the shelf, her eye twitching.

“Ah, I can see how you would think that,” Rarity said, hurriedly. “But, I think you’ll find that they are in fact sorted by colour and size.”

The sound of Twilight’s hoof hitting her skull echoed through the empty library. “Rarity,” she growled. “You can’t have a library organised by colour or size.”

“Oh? But it looks so chic.” Rarity beamed as she regarded her work. “Look at the way the rainbow harmonises with the crystal shelves to attract the eye towards the books. Look how the light plays gracefully across the covers, as if drawn to the knowledge itself. Look, if you dare, at the bold lines traced by the alignment of the covers. It inspires a sense of wonder, a lust for the boundless knowledge contained within those well ordered tomes. Don’t you agree?”

“Not particularly.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Rarity, do you know how a library actually works?”

Rarity wrinkled her nose. “Oh you wound me, darling. Of course I know your proclivity towards your Dancer’s Decimal system but think of the opportunity we have here. A blank canvas, ready to be shaped by our imaginations to shape the finest Royal Library known to Equestria.” She swept Twilight into a side-on hug. “Just imagine the thousands of ponies that will flock to the castle of the Princess of Friendship and be entranced by the bold new design. Instilled with a lust for learning ”

“I like it!” Pinkie cut in, investigating the ‘pink’ section of the shelving and doing a fair job of impersonating a chameleon. “I’ve never even seen half of these books before.”

“But girls, what about actually finding the book you’re looking for,” Twilight pressed. “I appreciate the effort you’ve put in here but if I said I wanted ‘Growing Great Minds by Green Grass’ what would you do?”

Rarity frowned, staring at the shelves. “Hmm... Is it a green book?”

“I don’t know!” Twilight snapped, struggling somewhat to believe she was having such a conversation. “Nopony knows what colour the book they’re looking for is because that would be, quite literally, judging a book by its cover!”

“Oh darling, I do wish you’d meet me halfway,” Rarity said with a sigh. “Pinkie Pie why don’t you try; what book would you like?”

Pinkie bounced in place. “Ooo! Ooo! A big pink one, please.”

“See, Twilight.” Rarity smiled, kindling her horn. “It can take just a moment of daring to discover something truly wonderful.” A heavy pink tome dropped down to hover before her nose, suspended in her magic. “Why, without my new system how would Pinkie have ever found ‘Euclid's Elementary Guide To Eldritch Abominations: Do Not Give To Pinkie Pie’...” She paused, looked back at the cover and then up at Twilight.

“Huh, that’s actually the title. Well, perhaps there are a few teething problems,” she said, the book accelerating up and away, despite Pinkie’s attempt to grab it before it escaped. “How about you just try it for a few days? You may grow to like it.”

Twilight took a deep, calming breath. “Look, Rarity. I’m trying to run a library—despite the best efforts of half of the Equestrian government—and that means I have to give ponies books, books that they want. Not books that are roughly the same size and colour. When Sweetie comes in for her elementary magic primer on Friday, what am I going to do?”

“Oh, that’s easy. It’s a delightful little slim fuchsia number.”

Twilight’s hoof hit her head again.

“Hey, eggheads,” Rainbow Dash cut in, swooping down from the rafters with a bundle of books in her forelegs. She paused a moment, taking in the rainbow spread of books and Pinkie Pie attempting to climb the shelves. “Awesome! See? I told you rainbows improve everything.” Twilight muttered something incoherent. “Anyway, I picked up all the Daring Do books I’d ‘borrowed’ from the library. Where do you want them?”

“With the rest of the off-beige books, darling.”

“Off-wh...” She glanced down her books. “Oh, I see. Hey, this is a pretty cool system. Why have you never tried this before, Twilight?”

In an attempt to get the world to start making sense again, Twilight slammed her head against the bookcase. High above her, just inches from getting her hooves on ‘Euclid's Elementary Guide’, she knocked Pinkie Pie off of her perch. Pinkie hung in the air for just a moment before plummeting back to earth; fortunately, she landed on something soft.

“Curse you, Euclid!” Pinkie exclaimed, lying in a heap on top of Twilight. “You see if I use your geometry again.”

“Pinkie Pie,” Twilight growled.

Pinkie Pie blinked, looking down owlishly. “Oh, hey Twilight. Ooo, did you know how soft your wings are?”

There was a sudden crack of teleportation and Twilight appeared on her hooves a few feet away, shaking out her ruffled wings. “Look, girls,” she said through clenched teeth. “I understand you’re trying to help but this is a library, not some kind of art installation.”

“Oh, but it is a Royal Library,” Rarity interjected, almost purring the word. “Surely we can–”

“No, Rarity. This isn’t a Royal anything. This is my library and my home and I want to keep it that way. When I come here I want to escape being royalty, not to be reminded of it everytime I try to find a book.”

Rarity pouted. “I suppose I can see your–”

“Wait, hold up!” Rainbow cut in, landing hard next to them. “What’s this about wanting to escape being royalty? Getting those wings is the most awesome thing that’s ever happened to you.”

Twilight let out a deep sigh, folding her wings. “Well, I do appreciate them, but being a Princess hasn’t just changed everything for the better. There’s a terrifying amount of responsibility involved with being a Princess, not to mention that it seems like everypony and their mother seems to want my help with something.” She glared into space for a moment before shaking herself and continuing. “I just want a Royal free zone, girls. Somewhere where I can be Twilight for a little while without ponies fawning over me... is that so much to ask?”

“Howdy folks! Royal delivery for all ya'll.”

Twilight’s ears folded flat as Applejack sauntered out from between the bookshelves, a small safe balanced on her back. Fluttershy followed in her wake, staying well back as the safe wobbled back and forth with every step. Applejack let out a whistle as she saw the rainbow spread. “Woo-wee, looks like you girls have been busy. Looks mighty pretty, but how are you supposed to find your book?”

“Finally, somepony understands!” Twilight exclaimed. Her horn kindled and she lifted the safe from Applejack’s back. “I’ve been trying to—” she paused, turning the safe over in her magic. “—hold on, is this...”

“Yeup, got it from Library Square just a few minutes ago. Turned up while they were digging out a new foundation. Thought you might recognise it.”

“My Memories Safe!” Twilight wrapped her forelegs around the metal cube, beaming with happiness. “Oh Applejack, this is wonderful. I thought Tirek had destroyed it along with the library.”

“Heh, well you're more than welcome, sugarcube.”

Rainbow Dash lept into the air, hovering next to the alicorn. “Okay, so why are you gushing over a safe?”

“Because I kept all my most important memories in here,” Twilight said, setting it down and spinning the dial before tugging at the handle. “I figured living in a tree with a dragon was a good reason to invest in a fireproof safe. I–urgh–just need to–argh–get it–eeeh–open!”

She gave one final yank before her grip slipped and she fell over backwards.

Applejack rolled her eyes. With a swift, one-hoofed buck she slammed the twisted frame back into place and the door swung open.

“Heh, thanks again, Applejack.” Twilight scrambled back to her hooves.

“Always happy to help out royalty,” Applejack said with a laconic nod.

Twilight elected to ignore that, focusing instead on her recovered treasures. Pink magic flooded the safe, drawing the objects out one by one. “Yes! Everything’s okay. My diploma’s... a little rumpled but that’s fine. Oh, here’s Spike’s blanky, and Smarty Pants.”

“Hold up, Ah thought my brother still had that,” Applejack cut in, frowning at the doll.

“He thinks he has it,” Twilight said with a smirk. “Anyway, here are some rare tomes from the Canterlot Archive—which as I already filled out the insurance form means that maybe I can...” She noticed the harsh glares from her friends. “Right, right, I’ll send a message about them tomorrow. Oh, and here’s Starswirl’s completed last spell and then there are my photo albums. Have I ever shown you Spike’s baby photos?”

“Hold up, hold up,” Rainbow Dash cut in, swooping down and plucking Starswirl’s journal off the pile. “You still have Starswirl’s last spell? Like, the one that made you an alicorn?”

Twilight paused. “Well yes. I know there were some explosions alongside my casting it, but the book didn’t just go away. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason,” Rainbow said, smirking. “I was just thinking that if you were so sick of being a Princess maybe I could give it a shot. How does Princess of Awesomeness sound to you girls?”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Princess of Ego more like.”

“Yeah, yeah. What would you be then, Princess of Apples?” Rainbow chuckled at her own joke. “I don’t think Celestia gives out titles for fruit.”

“How about Honesty?” Applejack said, cocking an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, but that would make me the Princess of Loyalty and whoa, is that something ponies will try and take advantage of.” Rainbow flipped open the book. “Nope, Awesomeness it is for me, or maybe Radicalness. No, Awesomeness. Radicalness wears off too fast. I’d be Princess of Blah within a year. So, how do I make this thing work?”

“Rainbow, it’s not going to make you a Princess,” Twilight said, testily. She plucked the book out of Rainbow’s hooves and cradled it in her forelegs. “Starswirl’s spell is a masterpiece of thaumatic construction, requiring a lifetime of study to learn and construct. It took me literally my whole life to reach a point where I could even hope to cast it. Even then it went horribly wrong the first time. You can’t just wave it around and make somepony an alicorn.”

Rainbow shrugged. “It’s worth a shot; why can’t we all become alicorns? I mean it's what, a six line poem? It can’t be that complicated.”

“It can’t be–!” Twilight cut herself off with a choked squeak. For a moment she spluttered, trying to find the words to express just how much damage such a spell could do in the wrong hooves.

“Rainbow dear, I do believe you’re being a little blasè about this whole thing,” Rarity said, stepping between the pair before Twilight exploded. “I may be a novice when it comes to true spellcasting, but even I know it's more than just reading the words. It's the delicate dance of potentials, the fulfilment of destiny, the triumph of friendship and magic above all else. That’s not mere poetry to be read in class.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I hear you. But hey, we’ve been through all the same adventures as Twilight. It was us that actually had all our butts swapped around. Why can’t we get in on the Princess gig? Heck, if there’s anypony here that wanted to be a Princess it was you, Rarity.”

“Moi?” Rarity held a hoof to her chest. Her shocked expression was met by flat looks from everypony. “Well, I suppose I have been searching for my Prince to sweep me into high society for quite some time now. And it would be so much easier to catch the ear of the important ponies of Canterlot with a pair of wings to show off. Oh, and then there’s the effect it would have on my business. And while I think of it there’s the impact I could have on the art world. In fact, I would dare say that I–”

She paused and then turned to face Twilight, a sly smile spreading across her face. “Actually... Twilight.” She began to trace tiny circles with her forehoof. “What would one have to do to say, make that spell work for her?”

Twilight groaned, pressing her hoof against her head. “Et tu, Rarity?”

“Oh, lighten up Twi,” Applejack said, putting a foreleg over her shoulder. “It’s just daydreaming. Heck, Ah can think of a hundred things Ah’d do around the farm if given the chance to be an alicorn. Don’t mean Ah’m foolish to start reading off spells willy-nilly. Last time any of us tried that we almost got flooded with Pinkie Pies.”

“Well, of course we would be careful,” Rarity continued, waving her off. “But you have to admit there is potential to the idea.”

“I’m for it!” Pinkie Pie cut in, bouncing in place. “The Royal Caterers said I could plan the next coronation. I know just how it’s going to go. First, I’m going to need a hundred barrels of gelatin mix, then—”

Twilight turned her attention back to Rarity. Pinkie would be happy to talk to empty air for at least another five minutes. “Look, girls, I know that the whole alicorn thing sounds appealing to you all, but I promise it's not as glamorous as you think. Being a Princess is a lot of work and requires a lot of sacrifice. It’s not just high society garden parties, or looking awesome, or whatever it is Pinkie’s thinking.”

“—but of course, I thought, where would I get a minister? Then I realised, I could just ordain myself! Oh wait, then I’d need somepony else to coronate me. Well Maud could do that, she was a High Priestess in a Nightmare cult you know, so—”

“Right, so the power, the fanclub and the palace are all just window dressing?” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Face it Twilight, being a Princess is sweet.”

Twilight folded her ears flat. “I could’ve done without the palace,” she murmured. Rainbow didn’t seem to notice.

“Look, I’ll prove it. Even Fluttershy wants to be a Princess. Isn’t that right ‘Shy?”

Fluttershy, who up until that moment had been hiding behind Spike’s baby photo album, let out a startled 'eep!' "I mean, sorry. Um, what was the question?”

Rainbow facehoofed. “Do you want to be an alicorn?” she said, slowly.

“Oh. Um... maybe? I mean... if everypony else wanted to be I guess that would be fine.” Fluttershy retreated further behind the album her voice dropping to a mere whisper. “And I’ve always wanted to feel the seasons change beneath my hooves.”

“Figures you’d go with an earth pony thing.” Rainbow puffed out her chest. “Me, I’m going for magic all the way. You may think the Rainbow Dash you see before you is the most awesome thing ever in Equestria, but you just wait until I’m shooting lasers out of my head.” She pressed her hooves together above her head. “Pew pew, pew pew pew pew. Pew pew. Pew?” Her laser noises petered out as she realised everypony was staring at her.

Twilight scowled. “Rainbow Dash, please be serious,” she hissed. “Being a Princess is not a joke or a game and this spell—” she hefted Starswirl’s journal and stamped her hoof“—will not give you superpowers. It is not some kind of wish granting machine to turn ponies into alicorns nor a book of limericks to skim through. This is my destiny, don’t you understand? This is everything that I am!”

Rainbow Dash just scowled back at her, though Rarity let out a long sigh.

“I suppose we have been getting a little ahead of ourselves, darlings,” she said, shaking her head. “Still, ‘Princess Rarity’...” She stared into space for a moment. “It has a nice ring to it.”

Rainbow Dash let out a frustrated grumble. “Urgh, you know what? I think you’re scared that it’ll work.” She jabbed a hoof at Twilight. “Why not let me read that spell? I’m a pegasus, if I’m wrong then nothing’s going to happen.”

Twilight felt her eye twitch. “Fine. If that’s what you think, then fine!” she snapped. The book leapt between the pair and Rainbow clumsily caught the tome. “If reading this is what it's going to take to prove things to you, go ahead and read the darn spell. I’ll just be over here making sure you don’t explode.”

Rainbow Dash stared at the book for a long moment, then a wicked grin spread across her face. “Oh yeah. This is going to be awesome,” she declared, as everypony else took a few hurried steps back.

“Umm, she won’t actually explode, right Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, half hidden behind Applejack.

“Nopony is going to explode, nothing is going to happen.” Twilight stomped over to the others. “Trust me.”

“Yeah, right. Keep watching girls, you’ll want to tell your grandfoals about this.” Dropping onto her haunches, Rainbow flipped through Starswirl’s journal until she reached the final page. “Okay!” She frowned as she read through the spell. “Okay... Alrighty then.” She paused, chewing her lip. “Hey Twilight, did ascending hurt?” she called out, suddenly. “Because it didn’t look too comfortable when you did it.”

“Just read the spell, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight shot back, rolling her eyes. “I’ve got a lot of books to reshelve today.”

“Alright, alright, I’m reading.” Her eyes flicked back down to the page. “Any second now...” Rainbow stood, took a deep breath and began to read.

“From all of us together,
together we are friends.
With the marks of our destinies made one,
there is magic without end.”

For a moment there was only silence. Fluttershy let out a startled squeak as a distant door slammed, but Rainbow Dash remained motionless in the centre of the room.

After a few more seconds of awkward silence Rainbow Dash slumped. “Eh, it was worth a–”

Her eyes went white with power. A blast of magic and wind swept through the room, lightning and spellfire blazing random paths across the library as Rainbow Dash was lifted into the air. For just a moment she hung there, mane tousled by ethereal winds. Then, in a flash of light and a defining peal of thunder she vanished, leaving only a lighting bolt-shaped burn on the ground.

Starswirl’s journal dropped to the ground with a thud.

Twilight stared open mouthed. Part of her was convinced that panic was the best response and was screaming at her to move, to act, to do anything to try and fix things. That voice, however, was smothered beneath a flood of utter disbelief.

“Did she–” Applejack began, but Rarity cut her off.

“MINE!” she screamed, hurling herself towards the book. Pinkie Pie was only a few seconds behind, half dragging Fluttershy along with her. Applejack took up the rear, with only a sheepish glance towards Twilight as she passed.

Thirty seconds, and four radiant bursts of light, later Twilight was alone in the library.

“I– I– I...”

“Oh, hey Twilight!” Spike exclaimed, stepping out from between the shelves. “I finished putting your regalia away, thanks for the help with that by the way. Do you and the girls want anything from the kitch– hey, where did they go?”

He glanced around, seeing nothing but a catatonic Twilight, and waddled over to her side. “Uh, Equestria to Twilight, are you in there?”

Waving a claw in front of her face got no response, nor did pulling on her foreleg. Spike tried to bring himself up with Twilight’s eyeline and finally saw the safe, Starswirl’s journal and, at last, the five overlaid cutie marks burned into the floor.

“Ooo... Okay. I should go send a message to Princess Celestia then.”

Author's Note

And we're off! Welcome everyone to Alicornitus, this story has been on my 'to write' list for a while and I'm very happy to finally start it with a bang, or perhaps that was just the sound of Twilight's sanity crumbling. Either way Ponyville is certaintly going to be an interesting place for a while :raritywink:

Princess Celestia’s Improv Session

Twilight’s friends found the alicornication spell, can you check the Astral Plane?

-Spike

Celestia blinked and read the scroll again. Well, that explained the mystery of the magic flare she’d felt. With a slight chuckle she set it aside and stood to address the Court.

“The Solar Court is closed for the day.” A ripple of surprise ran through the gathered crowd of nobles and petitioners. “Please see the stewards for alternative arrangements.” Before anypony could raise a word of protest, she vanished in a flare of white light.

A moment later she reappeared within the Astral Plane, trying and failing to avoid stumbling on her numb hooves. For reasons unknown, the spell always left Celestia feeling like she’d just lost a day-long pillow fight, complete with the inexplicable tickle of a phantom feather beneath her tongue. Shaking her head to try to clear the malaise she kindled her horn, probing the mists for Equestria’s newest alicorn. An answering swell of magic pointed her in the right direction and she set off at a swift trot.

For a moment Celestia mused on just who might have ascended. Twilight was proving a wonderful diplomat, but she wasn’t the only Bearer to have potential. Rarity, with just the faintest whiff of royal approval, had managed to wrap half of the Canterlot nobility around her hoof in under two weeks and Celestia was itching to see what she’d achieve with a true title. That said, there was a certain guilty appeal to pointing Applejack at land reform and just sitting back and listening to the ‘special interests’ wailing.

“Okay, so this is cool and all, but now what?” Rainbow Dash’s voice cut through the mists.

Celestia winced. Well, it seemed she owed Luna a hundred bits. Affecting serene smile number three [encouraging and genuinely pleased], she stepped through the bubbles of memory that surrounded Rainbow Dash.

“Welcome, my little– ponies?”

For a moment Celestia’s serene look wavered and she shifted to smile number thirty seven [I don’t know if this is a crisis yet but it will be if I show any sign of panic]. Five ponies stood before her and she became suddenly aware that Spike’s letter neglected to mention just how many of Twilight’s friends had used the spell.

“Princess!” they chorused, dropping to bow respectfully.

Celestia swallowed the lump in her throat as she fought to recover from her surprise. “R–rise, my little ponies. You do not need to bow to me any more,” she continued, scrambling to get back onto script.

Rarity's head shot up. “Do you mean it?” Her eyes sparkled. “We’re going to be–” She cut herself off with an excited squeal.

“Yeah! Alicorn party time!” Pinkie exclaimed, throwing streamers into the air much to Celestia’s bewilderment.

“Told’ya,” Rainbow Dash cut in, buffing her hoof on her chest. “Oh, this is gonna be sweet! Oh hey, can we select our own titles?”

Celestia’s smile shifted to number five [that’s nice dear]. “Perhaps we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves. First, I must congratulate you, my little ponies. You have come a very long way to be here today. Many have tried to reach this place but I always hoped you would be among those who have succeeded.”

“Heh, what can I say?” Rainbow Dash continued, her smug grin widening. “It was just a poem.”

“No, Rainbow Dash.” Celestia shook her head. “Starswirl’s spell was merely the final step on a long road. My little ponies, all of you—” She craned her neck to meet Fluttershy’s eyes despite the pegasus’ best efforts to hide at the back of the group. “—yes even you, Fluttershy, have come so much further and achieved so much more than I could have ever hoped. Your loyalty, honesty, kindness, generosity and laughter have stayed strong throughout the worst that the world could set against you and have saved Equestria more times than I like to consider.”

“Oh, it ain't’ nothin’.”

“Think nothing of it, darling.”

“Yeah, we’re awesome like that.”

Everypony shot Rainbow Dash an incredulous look, but she remained unfazed.

“What?” she demanded. “We’re about to become Princesses, girls. You know a better time to brag?”

Celestia resisted the urge to roll her eyes and switched to smile one [reserved amusement]. “Perhaps a touch of modesty would serve you well, Rainbow Dash, but I won’t deny this is a day to celebrate. Still, we mustn't linger. I’m sure Twilight Sparkle is worried for you. Unless you have anything to ask before–”

“Ooo! Ooo!” Pinkie Pie leapt up and down, holding a forehoof in the air.

Celestia cocked her head. “Yes, Pinkie Pie?”

“Do we get a song?” she asked, beaming.

“I... You want me to sing?” A slight frown crossed Celestia’s brow. “I’m afraid that I don’t have anything prepared.”

“Twilight got a song,” Pinkie Pie pressed, with the impenetrable logic of a five year old.

Celestia rolled her eyes. “I had a little more warning for Twilight. But still...” She glanced at the bubbles of memory and matter surrounding them. “Perhaps something can be arranged.” Summoning one of the pinker orbs she forced the memory to the fore and its music began to echo around the plane.

“I think you know this one, Pinkie,” Celestia began, as the beat began to play.

“Now listen Pinkie Pie,
I think it's fair to say,
I’ve never seen a po~ny so skilled at smiling come what may.
Sometimes it has been hard,
And days may have been blue,
But making ponies laugh and sing is what you were born to do.”

“Well I just want to see them smile, smile, smile!” Pinkie chorused.

Celestia smiled.

“Yes that’s true.
And making ponies truly happy is why,
they love you.”

Pinkie bounced in place.“But all I really need’s grin, grin, grin!”

“And with that you’ll be just fine.”

Celestia cut the music before Pinkie launched herself into the next verse, leaving the mare hanging mid bounce. Unsure if that was possible even by the loose laws of the astral planes, Celestia grabbed the nearest bubble and a banjo began to echo through the mists.

“Ah reckon this one is mine,” Applejack said, stepping forward.

Celestia reapplied smile number three and began to bounce on her hooves to the beat. “Indeed Applejack.”

“A mare like you comes once a generation,
Reliable, brave and strong.
Your roots are spread across the pony nation,
And the world joins you in song.”

Applejack blushed, pulling her hat down over her face.

“With your friends stood beside you, your light now shines through,
And now you are so much more.
Still no matter what comes the storm you’ll weather,
You’re an Apple to the core.”

“Ah shucks, Ah was just doing what anypony would do,” Applejack said, shaking her head.

Celestia reapplied smile five. “Perhaps, but I find that who could have done something is far less important than who then did.”

“Heh, like anypony out there could top us,” Rainbow Dash cut in, leaping into the air and buffing a forehoof on her chest. “Come on, let's get to my song already. It’s gonna’ be something awesome!”

“Oh?” Celestia kept her face studiously neutral as her magic flared, pulling one of the more distant bubbles towards her. An electric guitar began to wail and a five pairs of ears perked up.

“An awesome song you want from me?

Of daring stunts and loyalty?”

“Yeah!” Dash cheered, headbanging along to the music.

Celestia smirked. “Well then...

I first saw you in the middle of a sonic boom.
I was sure then I’d see you here so very soon.
No one can match you, the skies you’re their ruler.
It’s safe to say nopony could be cooler.

Yeah, you’re awesome, no question.
For all to see, you’re as awesome as a pony can be.
But though awesome, take caution.
You’ll never be as awesome as you want to be.”

“Awesome as I– wait, what was that last bit?”

Celestia shook her head, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. It was remarkable just how much Rainbow Dash reminded her of her younger self. At least there wouldn’t be nearly as many harsh lessons in Rainbow’s future if Celestia had anything to say about it.

Still, that was for later. With a smirk, Celestia drew another bubble towards her and a far more delicate tune began to play. Turning to face Rarity, who was trembling with excitement, she began to sing.

“The rise of Rarity, I think we all agree,
Is long overdue.
Through generosity,
And sheer ferocity,
You’ve come so far shining through.”

“Eeee,” Rarity let out a little squeak. Fanning herself with a hoof she fought to regain her composure. “I mean. You flatter me... do go on.”

“Well then.” Celestia spread her wings wide as the song built to a crescendo.

“This is your moment now will you seize it?
The world before you is an open door!
The struggle was all worthwhile.
You’ll make those ponies smile.
And through it all to your heart,
Your heart, stay true.”

“Can I trust you with that?” Celestia said, with a broad version of smile seventeen [I hope you’ll do this for me].

Rarity dropped into a deep formal bow. “Princess, I–”

“Uh uh uh.” Celestia held up a hoof to silence her. “No titles, not here. But before anything else I believe we’re forgetting somepony.”

She turned to look for the final pony. Fluttershy was stood at the back of the group and shied back, ducking her head to shield herself with her mane as she caught Celestia’s gaze.

Celestia pursed her lips and took a hesitant step forwards. “Fluttershy? Are you okay?”

“Sure, never better,” she said in a breathless rush. Celestia arched an eyebrow at her. “Umm, well actually... I was wondering that maybe, just maybe, we’re all rushing things just a teensy weensy little bit.” Fluttershy seemed to shrink in place as she folded her wings tight against her sides, her voice dropping to a mere whisper. “Not much. Just, you know, we might say try again another day? I think I left the oven on and I really should make sure that Angel isn’t worried about–”

Celestia stepped forwards, took her chin in her hoof and gently closed her mouth, stilling her nervous babble. “Fluttershy. You don’t need to be afraid.”

Fluttershy ducked her head. “I just... don’t know if I want to be an alicorn.”

There was wisdom there, but it was also far too late. Celestia let out a deep sigh. “Of all the ponies who have stood here, I think perhaps you are the most deserving.”

Celestia stood and drew another bubble of memory towards them. Both Fluttershy’s and Rarity’s ears perked up as a familiar beat began to play

“There’s music in your heart, dear.
A song that's full of joy.
A burning love for every mare and foal.”

Fluttershy looked ready to bolt and Celestia swept a wing around her barrel.

“Sometimes you have been scared, dear.
But know this to be true.
That never have I met a stronger soul.”

“When you find you’ve got the music,” Rarity chorused, stepping up alongside Fluttershy.

Celestia reared as she belted out, “you will look inside and find.”

“Find you’ve got the music.” Rainbow filled the void on Fluttershy’s right, putting a wing across her shoulders.

“The strength to see your dreams come true.”

“Find you’ve got the music.” Pinkie leapt into the growing group hug with a squeal of delight.

“Though the path you walk will not be easy.”

“Find you've got the music.” Rolling her eyes, Applejack squeezed into the final gap.

“Beside your friends you’ll see it through.”

“You’ve got the music.
Got the music, got the music.
Got the music in you.”

All five ponies burst into laughter as the music ended and Celestia smiled.

“Well then, Fluttershy. I hope that keeps your fears at bay for now.” With a final wave of her horn the Astral Plane trembled and around them windows into the past began to open. “Still, we must get moving; Twilight will be growing worried for you all. It is time.”

A final song began to play, one with which Celestia was very familiar. With an unexpectedly large herd of ponies in tow she set off through the memories.

“You’ve come such a long, long way.
Through hard times, and through those shining days.
And I have been watching.
The heights you have flown to.
The times that you won through.
And all the days that we owe to you.”

She paused, and turned to face her little ponies. They, perhaps, were not quite as reverent as Twilight had been. Pinkie seemed unable to keep from bouncing on her hooves and Celestia caught Rarity and Rainbow sharing a broad grin.

“It’s time now, for a new day to start.
The light blazes deep in your hearts.
The world waits before you.
To see as you will see.
To be as you will be.
For it’s time now to join your destiny.”

The plane reverberated around the final note. Celestia threw her forelegs and wings open wide, letting the magic of the world fill her and, for a moment, she blazed from horn to tail with radiant light. Five more lights answered her, bursting from the hearts of the assembled ponies, wreathing their hosts in colour so bright it hurt to look at.

One by one they were lifted into the air, Rainbow Dash flapping her wings as if trying to hurry the magic along. Celestia had to bite down on a laugh as she saw Applejack’s faintly bemused frown before the farm-mare vanished in a bolt of light and colour. Rarity followed a moment later, then Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash leaving just Fluttershy trembling, her eyes screwed tightly shut.

“Fluttershy,” Celestia began, as perhaps the first genuine smile since Twilight’s ascension graced her muzzle. “Don’t worry. They’ll be right there with you. Always.”

The mare swallowed, took a deep, steadying breath and vanished, leaving Celestia alone on the Astral Plane. She dropped back onto her hoofs with a sigh and, after a brief moment, brought up a hoof to her face.

“Oh good grief; all six of them. Luna is going to kill me.”

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay to this one, I was advised that for those of you who aren't keen on songs in text it was a little on the lite side so I bundled it and chapter 3 together.

So, did you recognise all the songs? For those struggling:

Pinkie Pie's song: Smile Song

Because really, how could it be anything else?

Applejack's song: Apples To The Core

Not that there was a huge amount to chose from, it was this or Raise This Barn. Applejack needs more songs.

Rainbow Dash's song: Awesome As I Wanna Be

Yeah, it was an EQG song, *Ducks pitchfork*. Also, Twilight's going to be tearing out her hair trying to figure out how Celestia heard this one.

Rarity's song: Rules Of Rarity

Technically this does cause a minor time paradox.

Fluttershy's song: Music in the Treetops & Find the Music in You

Probably the best Fluttershy song there is. No arguments, or else :flutterrage:

And finally, Celestia's song: Celestia's Ballad

Though if you didn't get this one you're probably wondering when Twilight grew wings.

Princess Twilight’s Told You So

Distant music from the Pinkie party to end all Pinkie parties echoed through the empty shop floor of the Carousel Boutique. The sounds were muffled by scores of buildings until only the thundering bass line and occasional whoop of joy broke through the stifling stillness. Luna’s moon hung large and heavy in the sky beyond the windows, well past its zenith. It spilled silver light across discarded bolts of fabric and the occasional ponyquin. The cheery jangle of the shop bell broke the silence, quickly silenced by a surge of azure magic.

“Huh?” Sweetie Belle raised her head from Rarity’s mane, blinking owlishly. “What happened to the party?”

Rarity smiled, closing the door as softly as she could. “Some ponies are still a little too little to party all night, Sweetie Belle.”

“I’m not—” She interrupted herself with a huge yawn. “—too little.” Sweetie nestled herself back down on Rarity’s withers. “The Crusaders can party and party and party and...” Sweetie trailed away into a sleepy sigh and Rarity rolled her eyes. The Crusaders had, in fact, turned up in a pile of discarded cupcake wrappers underneath the snack table, fast asleep. Rarity intended to save the pictures for Sweetie’s inevitable teenage ‘I’m not cute!’ phase. Although it would be a nightmare to get all the crumbs out of her coat come the morning.

Rarity picked her way across the boutique floor with the ease of long practice. A trickle of magic pulled open the curtain that hid the more domestic areas of her home and she stepped through. An alien pull of muscles rippled across her barrel as she pulled Sweetie’s sleepy form closer to her back with her wings.

A trickle raced down her spine as Sweetie ran a hoof along her feathers. “I really like your wings,” Sweetie Belle murmured. “They’re so soft.”

Rarity stifled a giggle. And ticklish, but she wasn't going to give her sister that kind of ammunition. “Thank you, Sweetie Belle. I rather like them too.”

She made up way up the backstairs, her hornlight the barest glimmer needed to see by.

“Rarity?” Sweetie interjected, her eyes still closed. “You’re going to be a Princess now, right?”

“Well, Princess Celestia hasn’t exactly set a date for a coronation... but I’d say it's only a matter of time.” Rarity tried and failed to keep the grin from her face.

“And that means I get to be a Princess too?”

Rarity pursed her lips. “Umm, of course it does, Sweetie Belle,” she said, hurriedly. She was going to have to check with Twilight just how titles flowed when it came to alicorns.

“And Applebloom? And Scootaloo?” She let out another yawn. “And Applebloom?”

Rolling her eyes Rarity stepped into Sweetie Belle’s room. “Don’t worry about that, Sweetie Belle.”

“But we wanted to be Royal Crusader Princess!” Sweetie squeaked.

A wave of magic lifted the half-asleep filly from Rarity’s back and gently placed her under the sheets. “Don’t fret, Sweetie, it’ll give you wrinkles,” Rarity chided. “Just sleep. You still have school in the morning.”

“Murh, Princesses don’t go to school,” Sweetie murmured, frowning, although she didn’t open her eyes.

“Somehow I think Twilight would disagree.” Strenuously. Using both a chalkboard and overhead projector. “Now, goodnight, Sweetie Belle.” She bent down and kissed her sister on the forehead.

“G’night... Hey, Rarity. Mom and Dad missed your party.” Sweetie scrunched up her nose. “That’s sad.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “It won’t be the first thing they have missed,” she replied, with perhaps a touch more venom in her voice than was really due. “Still, maybe I’ll send them a postcard about it.”

Sweetie cracked open her eyes. “Oh. I could make them a postcard!” she exclaimed, sleepily.

“In the morning. Goodnight, Sweetie Belle.” Rarity kissed her sister more forcefully, pushing her head back down onto the pillow.

“Oh, okay.” Sweetie Belle yawned and buried herself deeper into the blankets.

Seizing her chance, Rarity backed away hurriedly and almost made it to the door.

“Will we have to move?” Sweetie Belle cut in again, in a sleepy mumble.

Rarity froze. “I’m sorry?” she exclaimed, whirling to face her sister. “Why would we have to move?”

“Princesses live in castles, but you don’t live in a castle with all the other pumpernickels.” Sweetie rolled onto her side and began to snore.

For a moment Rarity groped in vain for a reply, but Sweetie Belle had long since fallen deep into Princess Luna’s realm. Shaking her head, Rarity beat a hasty retreat. It wasn’t wise to put too much credence on Sweetie’s musings at the best of times, let alone while half asleep. Still, even as she settled into her own bed she couldn’t banish the niggling doubt.

Applejack was a mare that rose with the sun. She used to say she rose with Celestia but after hearing Twilight’s disturbing stories about the solar monarch carrying out her astronomical duties from under a heavy comforter Applejack avoided the phrase. Regardless, the morning light saw no change to her routine save one crucial factor.

She sat perched on her windowsill, watching the dawn's light creep across the orchard. It was a proper perch, all four hooves lined up in a row on the windowsill in such a precarious manner that she should have broken her foolish neck a good five minutes ago. In a way she expected to, but the minutes ticked by without the penny, or pony, dropping.

Grown earth pony mares weren’t found in trees as a rule. Applejack was a good climber for a pony, it came from growing up in an orchard. Still, the days of being able to scramble up to the highest branches and spend a day nestled between the leaves were long since behind her. She’d lost the balance for it years ago, boasting far too much muscle and far too little time to practice. It wasn’t a skill she’d ever lamented losing to be fair. Sure, watching Rainbow Dash perch on frankly impossible objects—branches, clothes lines, Big Mac’s head—was galling. Not to mention put serious question to just how much pigeon lay in the pegasus’ ancestry. Still, beyond the odd childish twinge of jealousy Applejack never cared. It was just one of those ways that earth ponies and pegasi were different.

And how alicorns and earth ponies were different, now that she came to think about it.

Her ear flicked as Big Mac let himself into the room. The stallion, with surprising silence, made his way to Applejack’s perch and gazed out of the window alongside her.

“Mornin’, Mac. Found your way home in the end then?”

Mac furrowed his brow at her.

“Hey, if you’re going to go to town on the hard cider then Ah get some sisterly teasing in.” She nudged him in the shoulder. “Now Ah just need to figure out who you’ve got your eye on. Unless it just so happens to be Cherilee again.”

“That was love poison,” Mac said, his frown deepening.

“Yeah, that only excuses you the first date,” Applejack shot back, grinning.

Big Mac just rolled his eyes and turned back to the field.

“Ah come on, Mac, you usually put up at least some fight.” Applejack nudged him again but Mac continued his lonely vigil. “Come on, what’s eating you?”

“Just...” He paused and let out a long sigh. “Just wondering when you’ll be the one raising the sun.”

Applejack blinked, then let out a bark of laughter. “Whoowee, that’s a hoot, Mac!” she exclaimed, slapping him on the shoulder. “Little ol’ me raising the sun. Ah wouldn’t worry about that anytime soon.”

Big Mac just shrugged. “Seems a mite more likely today than yesterday,” he said, with a pointed look at Applejack’s horn.

“Oh come on don’t be like that, Mac.” Applejack shook her head, fighting the urge to touch the new protrusion. She’d heard unicorns could go blind from rubbing their horns too much. “So Ah’ve picked up a few extras. Don’t mean I’m going to go live in a palace and raise the sun. Don’t mean Ah’m any different where it matters.”

“Nope... Don’t mean things ain’t gonna’ change, though.” Mac shook his head. “Are you okay with that?”

Applejack glared at him for a moment, but couldn’t hold it. “Not really.” She shrugged and shook head. “Still, it ain’t always a bad thing, though.”

“Ain’t always good.”

Both of the siblings glanced towards a little copse of trees near the back of the orchard. Few visited that part of the orchard, but all Apples ended their journeys there. Applejack looked away first as tears began to sting her eyes.

“Why’d you do it, AJ?” Mac asked at last.

Applejack frowned and then let out a long sigh. “Remember the year after Ah got my cutie-mark, there was that big drought because the weather service lost a couple typhoons. The crops weren’t growing right because of how dry the ground was and there wasn’t a single thing we could do about it. Old Water Wings wouldn’t give us a spare drop either, ‘cause the Harvests were slipping him bits under the table and a little more beside. Ah remember staring up at the clouds and promising I’d give a hind leg just for the chance to fly up there and a shake a few drops loose.”

With a little chuckle Applejack flexed her orange wings, splaying out her primary feathers. “Heh, looks like I got a better bargain than Ah ever hoped.” She caught Big Mac’s sceptical look. “Oh come on. This is a good thing.”

“Maybe.” Big Mac turned from the window and walked away. “Come on, we’ve plowing to do.”

Applejack rolled her eyes but followed, pausing only to pick up her hat. Big Mac would come around. He always did in the end.

There was no way to hide a horn. Fluttershy stood before her bathroom mirror, brush in hoof and fought back the tears as she tried yet another style. Her usual cascade of pink mane, so useful for hiding behind in an emergency, had failed. Pushing it all forward to cover the horn worked, but also left her blind. Pushing it all back just highlighted the new appendage and made her look like a punk-rocker. A parting didn’t work. A braid only drew more attention. A ponytail likewise. She wasn’t quite sure what she’d been thinking with dreadlocks but—while they certainly distracted from the horn—they only drew more attention.

A hammering from the bathroom door interrupted her third, frantic attempt to shape a quiff that didn’t make her look like a crazed animal maniac.

“Eeep!” Fluttershy dropped the brush with a startled squeak. “I mean... Um, who is it?”

There was no answer and the hammering redoubled. Hesitantly Fluttershy unlatched the bathroom door.

“Oh it’s only you Angel.”

The rabbit stormed in, shooting a glare at Fluttershy that asked whether she was quite done with the bathroom. He had a tiny towel under one arm and a bath cap over his ears.

“Umm, actually I was–”

That was good, because the little rabbit was long overdue his morning shower. He hopped over to the sink and gave her another pointed look. Didn’t Fluttershy have breakfast with the girls to get to?

“Oh... Well I’m was thinking of maybe staying home after all.” Fluttershy nervously ran a hoof through her mane. “I mean, I’m sure after the party last night the girls will understand that I need to– Um, need to– Oh, look after a sick chipmunk.”

Angel rolled his eyes as he climbed into the bowl. It sounded to him like somepony was avoiding going out.

“No, no, no, not at all,” Fluttershy protested. “I know Dale said he was feeling fine now but–”

And it wouldn’t have anything to do with trying to hide her horn behind that ridiculous manestyle?

“I wouldn’t call it ridiculous.” Angel tapped his foot and Fluttershy wilted under his gaze. “Oh you’re right! What am I going to do? Everypony will see the horn and then they’ll realise I’m a Princess and then they’ll all be looking at me.” She shuddered. “I can’t go through that again. I just can’t.”

Shaking his head Angel kicked the tap open. He figured it was too late to worry about being recognised after descending from the heavens in a blaze of light and magic visible to half of Equestria. But what did he know, he was just a rabbit.

Fluttershy’s pupils shrank to pinpricks.

Still, nothing to do but go out there and face the world. After all– The rabbit paused and put his paw against the tap, spraying water over Fluttershy and startling her out of her fear induced catatonia. After all, it wasn’t like she was just going to stop being an alicorn and if she never left the cottage again there would be a lot of hungry mouths to feed.

“Umm, maybe Harry could...” Fluttershy wilted under Angel’s glare. “Oh you're right. What have I done?”

Angel stepped under the tap and began to wash his ears. Other than ascend to a higher state and become a future immortal ruler of Equestria? Angel couldn’t imagine.

“But I didn’t want any of that,” Fluttershy protested. “I just... I just didn’t want to be left on my own.” Her gaze fell to her hooves, which she shuffled, nervously. “What am I going to do?” she asked in a murmur.

Same thing she always did, pluck up the courage and get out there.

“I’m not sure I’m brave enough.”

Angel rolled his eyes. She was brave enough to face down a dragon. Brave enough to fly in a tornado. Brave enough to befriend Discord. Even brave enough to read the spell. He figured she could handle it.

Fluttershy hung her head. “I wasn’t being brave when I read the spell. I was scared. Rainbow and Rarity had already gone. What would have happened if I'd been the only pony left? They would have abandoned me.”

Yeah right, like that was going to happen.

“I... suppose you’re right.”

Of course he was, that was the natural state of rabbits after all. Now, unless she wanted to see a bunny floss he recommended that she get moving. Get down to Ponyville and get them all used to the horn. There was no other way forwards.

Fluttershy grimaced. “Yeah, no other way.”

Sugarcube Corner had hosted more Princesses of Equestria than most bakeries, but even for Ponyville three alicorns sat around a table was unusual. They went more or less unnoticed, however, thanks to the blur of hyperactive energy chasing around after the dregs of the breakfast rush. Pinkie Pie raced across the floor, a plate balanced on each wing, serving at lightning speed with a smile and a wave for everypony that crossed her path.

“I don't know how she does it,” Rarity observed, frowning as she picked at a croissant. “I swear she must be running on three hours sleep.”

“Earth Pony stamina?” Applejack suggested, sipping from a deep mug of tea.

Rarity shot her a flat look. “Yes, well I'm waiting for that to kick in.”

Applejack smirked. “You’ll be waiting a mighty long time if that’s your attitude.”

A bell jangled as Twilight stumbled into the bakery, stifling a yawn. She cast a bleary eye across the room and spotted the trio at their table. With a groan she dropped onto one of the stools.

“Morning girls,” she said, yawning again. She paused, frowning at Fluttershy. “Umm, Fluttershy. What’s with the hat?”

With a nervous tug Fluttershy pulled the oversized floppy hat further down over her eyes. Twilight thought she recognised the disguise from Fluttershy’s brief time as a model. “Oh, no reason,” she said, hurriedly. “It was just such a sunny day I thought I would... Um, do something special.”

Twilight opened her mouth, but Rarity pointly shook her head behind Fluttershy. “Oh~kay. Well it looks nice.” She paused and pursed her lips. “Very... um, obscuring.”

Rarity facehooved.

“I know,” Fluttershy said, with a sad sigh. “But at least they’re looking at the hat, not the—” She swallowed a lump “—horn.”

“Oh come now, Fluttershy,” Rarity interjected, putting a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “You don’t need to be afraid. This is something to be proud of, something that a pony can stand up and shout about.”

“I don’t like shouting.” Fluttershy retreated further beneath the brim of her hat.

“I know, dear, but you don’t need to worry.” Rarity beamed, sweeping her free hoof across the room. “Look, all of Equestria lies open before us! While I’m sure there will be some adjustments to be made this can only be a good thing.” She paused, her smile wavering. “Right, girls?”

Twilight shrugged. “Somedays at least. There’s been days I’ll admit I’ve woken up and had to reassure myself it wasn’t all just a wonderful dream, but most days aren’t so simple.”

“Oh shoot, now you’re sounding like my brother,” Applejack cut in, banging a hoof on the table. “A couple of extra feather dusters ain’t gonna’ end the world no matter how you cut it. Sure, sure we’re gonna’ get a few funny looks, but ponies got over Twilight’s wings soon enough. No reason it’ll be any different for the rest of us.”

Twilight just shrugged, that was what she was afraid of.

“Hi girls!” Pinkie Pie chirped, sliding into a seat and dropped off a pair of drinks in front of herself and Twilight. Twilight’s was a coffee, a special blend she’d acquired through Princess Luna and so dark that it only emitted light via blackbody radiation. Pinkie’s might have been a hot chocolate but beneath the whipped cream, marshmallows, two flavours of ice cream, sprinkles and the lit sparkler it was hard to tell.

“Wowwee, what a morning. It’s like everypony in town wanted breakfast here for some reason.” Pinkie let out an anxious chuckle and her wings fluttered, lifting her from her seat for a moment. “It hasn’t been this busy since Princess Celestia visited. Everypony wanted to congratulate us, and thank me for the party, and ask me to bless their crops... Hey, Twilight. Is that something we can actually do?”

Twilight shrugged. “Maybe there’s a spell for it, but I would have asked Applejack before Celestia even a week ago.”

“Yeah that sounds like a better idea. All I know how to do is make rocks grow and nopony seems to like my pebble flan.” Pinkie sighed, as she cast a wary look over her shoulders. “Girls, has anypony else got an icky knot in their stomach?”

“How so, darling?” Rarity enquired.

“Oh, you know, that feeling when you have big important news to tell somepony, but you don’t want to tell somepony.” Pinkie sighed and rested her head on the table between her forehooves. “It’s just nerves, I guess. I’m trying to stay super excited but... well, there’s a load of little things. The Cake twins don’t seem to recognise me with the wings, and three ponies called me ma’am this morning, and Bon Bon is staking me out as a possible threat to Equestria. Again.”

There was a sudden clatter as, two tables over, Bon Bon dropped her fork.

“Hold up,” Applejack interjected. “What was that last one again?”

Pinkie pointed with a wingtip to two tables over where the cream coloured mare was suddenly engrossed in a newspaper. “Bon Bon’s on a stake out,” she said, with the calm assurance of stating simple fact. “You can tell because she’s ordered a rhubarb flan. She hates rhubarb, it takes her a long time to eat it and that gives her an excuse to hang around.”

The rest of the girls exchanged worried glances.

“Oh come now, Pinkie Pie,” Rarity scoffed. “Bon Bon sells candies, she’s not some kind of superspy. Look, she’s leaving now.”

Pinkie sighed, as Bon Bon made a hasty exit behind her. “I suppose you’re right. I guess I’m just a little jumpy. And worried. And a tiny bit hungry” She took a hasty bite out of the ice cream strata of her drink. “I want to keep feeling super excited but it’s just that... just that...”

“That despite the fact that this can only be considered to be a good thing, it’s still going to change every single plan you had for the future in ways you have no way of yet imagining?” Twilight completed. She took a sip of her coffee. “Yeah, I know what you’re feeling.”

The girls shared worried glances, after a long moment Rarity let out a deep sigh. “I suppose I should also admit that I’m a little concerned by the whole Princess situation. Sweetie Belle pointed out that Princesses aren’t known for their fashion design.”

“Or their farmin’,” Applejack muttered.

“Quite so. I know it's a silly thing to worry about at its heart but... I still am.” Rarity pursed her lips. “Does it get easier, Twilight?”

Twilight stared into her coffee for a moment. “I’d really like to say yes, but I still wake up in sweats afraid that Celestia and Luna are going to come down from Canterlot, announce they’re going to Mareami for six months and tell me to keep an eye on Equestria while they’re away.” She shuddered. “I know it's ridiculous, but I checked through six volumes on succession law and there’s absolutely nothing stopping them beyond a requirement that I demonstrate ‘appropriate martial ability’.”

“What, saving the world a half dozen times doesn’t count?” Applejack interjected.

Twilight opened her mouth to protest, paused, then let out a groan. “Okay, then there’s absolutely nothing stopping them.” She dropped her head to the table.

“Aww, don’t worry,” Pinkie said, patting her on the shoulder. She drew a bendy straw out from her mane and inserted one end in Twilight’s mouth and the other in her coffee. “Princess Celestia isn’t going to do that. And even if she did, we’ll be ruling right there alongside you so things will be just fine. Right, girls?”

Applejack and Rarity exchanged worried looks, Fluttershy ducked under the table.

“Right, girls?” Pinkie repeated, her eyes narrowing.

“Oh, of course.”

“Shucks, ‘course we will.”

“Umm. Well, as long as I don’t have to make any speeches...”

“Thanks girls.” Twilight lifted her head and smiled. “And sorry for being so down on you all. Let’s just say you aren’t the only ponies who’ve had their world upended in the last day.”

“Think nothing of it,” Rarity said, with a flick of her mane. “And thank you for not saying ‘I told you so’.”

Twilight smirked. “Oh no, I’m saving that for Rainbow Dash when she finally realises the downsides to being a Princess.” She paused, glancing over her shoulder. “Where is she anyway?”

“Oh, um, she left a note on her door this morning,” Fluttershy said, poking her head over the lip of the table. “She said she had to go to Cloudsdale for some unfinished business.”

“Heh.” Applejack leaned back on her stool. “Ten bits says she’s rubbing her new horn in somepony’s face.”

“Oh no, no, no,” Fluttershy protested. “Rainbow would never do anything like that. I’m sure, whatever she’s doing, she’s just as worried about having a horn as we are.”

Rainbow Dash strode, unannounced into the dining room just as her family were sitting down to breakfast. She paused a moment on the threshold, angling her head so the shiny new horn was clearly visible as a streak of sky blue in her mane.

“Hey Mom! You remember when you said I’d never amount to anything after dropping out of Flight School?”

Author's Note

Oh Rainbow, didn't you listen to Celestia in the last chapter? Eh, that was probably expecting a little to much from her.

So, I hope people enjoyed a slower chapter this time around. I definitely want to keep the comedy tag for this story, but I also want to carve out a niche for some actual drama. There's been a couple of everypony is an alicorn stories around the site but they either become power fantasies or farces pretty quickly. While they both can be fun, I'm aiming for the illusive middle ground between the two.

That's for future me to worry about for now, though. Join us next time when Rainbow Dash continues an argument she began the moment she learned to talk. :rainbowhuh:

Oh, and a reminder. I am supported by my beloved Patreons. If you're enjoying this story and would like to support my work, please consider donating.

Princess Rainbow Dash's Family Fun

Rainbow Dash’s childhood home was a sprawling villa perched atop of cumulonimbus, typical for the Cloudsdale suburbs. From the broad central courtyard it was possible to see into, and in a few cases through, almost every room in the house. That left Rainbow Dash very few locations to hide after making her pronouncement.

“Rainbow Dash!”

A pair of blue missiles exploded from the living room and homed in on Rainbow Dash, who had barely spread her wings when the twins slammed into her barrel. The trio went tumbling over backwards, just avoiding the central fountain, and hit the ground with a whumph of displaced cloud.

“Ack! Help, regicide!” Rainbow exclaimed, pinned beneath the foals.

“Regicide?” Blue Bolt frowned at his sister from his perch on her haunch.

“Hey, she’s got a horn!” Blue Arrow rapped his hoof against Rainbow’s horn, making the alicorn wince. “And it's not made of wood this time!”

“Wingus, Dingus,” Rainbow Dash said, blowing her mane out of her eyes. She didn’t bother trying to get their names right; both had sky-blue coats, azure manes and near identical cutie-marks. Telling them apart was something only their mother could do. “Would you mind letting me breathe?”

The twins shared a malicious grin. “I don’t know—” Bolt began.

“—what’s it worth to you?” Arrow finished.

Rainbow glared at them for a moment. “Dad!” she yelled. “They’re doing the creepy twin thing again.”

From his usual seat in the living room Blaze looked over his newspaper. “Play nice, boys!”

As usual, the twins ignored him and their grins widened.

“Urgh, why did I think that would help?” Rainbow muttered to herself. “Okay, this has stopped being funny.”

Rainbow bunched her wings and with a titanic heave flipped back onto her hooves. Bolt and Arrow went tumbling away laughing and Rainbow Dash fluttered back to the ground. She had less than a second to compose herself before the second volley arrived.

“Rainbow!” Spectral Glider exclaimed. He made a flying leap at Rainbow Dash who just managed to get her hooves around the foal in time and turn the tackle into a hug. Luckily for the pair of them Spectral was a few years younger than the twins. Although Rainbow was forced back a step, they didn’t end up in the rainbow fountain.

“Heya, Squirt,” she said, ruffling her little brother’s mane. “Yeash, you’re getting heavy. You must be about ready for a cutie-mark now.”

Spectral pouted as Rainbow lowered him to the floor. The baby of the family, Spectral had the same wiry build as his older sister and rainbow mane, though his colours were far less vivid. “That’s what I’ve been saying.” He shook himself out of his funk in under a second. “But what happened to you? You’re a Princess.”

“Yep, you are looking at the most radical Princess—and future Wonderbolt—in all of Equestria,” Rainbow Dash declared, puffing out her chest. “You might want to get a photo for posterity.”

“Who’s Posterity?”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Eh, I don’t know. Somepony who collects photos I guess.”

“Ahem.” Firefly cleared her throat pointedly as she strode towards Rainbow Dash. Her foals scrambled out of her way. “If I might interrupt. What have you done this time, Rainbow Dash?”

“Geeze, Mom, I thought you’d at least be a little excited.” Rainbow Dash buffed her hoof on her barrel. “I mean, your favourite daughter is now the ‘Princess of Awesome’, after all.” She shot a wide grin at her brothers who beamed back.

Firefly did not share the moment. “Right... And how exactly did this happen?” she pressed, looming over her daughter. Rainbow seemed to have gained half an inch over her but Firefly was never one to let things like that get in the way of parental authority. “Have you usurped Celestia’s mantle?”

Rainbow Dash made a face. “Urgh, no. That’d be evil.”

“Did you read from an ancient and forbidden book,” she continued.

“No.”

“Did you make a deal with Discord?”

“No.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “I’m not stupid enough to do that twice.”

“Find an artifact of unholy and terrible power and try to wear it as a hat?”

“No!” Rainbow spread her wings. “Look I know you don’t trust me to–” She paused, frowning. “Wait... Okay, actually it was that second one. But it wasn’t like the book was forbidden and evil! It was the same dumb book Twilight used to get her wings.”

“Wait, so she’s actually a Princess?” Bolt cut in, leaping into the air and hovering next to Rainbow Dash’s head as he peered at her horn. “Does that make us royalty?”

“I think Rainbow Dash is just an alicorn for now,” Firefly replied, icily. “Unless our invitation to your coronation got lost in the mail?”

“Urgh, one Birthaversary in Ponyville and you never let me hear the end of it.” Rainbow sighed. “But yeah I’m an alicorn now. The most awesome kind of pony there is. With the speed of a pegasus—” She flexed her wings. “—The magic of a unicorn—” She tapped a hoof against her horn. “—And the... um, ability to grow basic fruits and vegetables of an earth pony? Okay, that last one needs work.”

“Awesome!” Bolt rounded on his brother. “We are going to be royalty!”

“Why, I always knew it to be true, dear Arrow,” Arrow said, affecting the poshest accent he could muster. “Nopony could ever match the soapistication of our family.”

“Quite so, my good Bolt,” Bolt replied, turning his nose up high enough to put any Canterlot socialite to shame.

“Did they just switch names again?” Rainbow Dash asked Firefly. Her mother shrugged. “Eh whatever. I’ll make sure that you two go down as Princes Wingus and Dingus.”

“What? No!” the twins exclaimed, whirling.

“Mom, tell her she can’t do that!”

“Summer Belle would never speak to us again!”

“Nopony is changing anypony’s names,” Firefly snapped, pressing a hoof against her head. “Rainbow Dash, please don’t tease them. I’ve got to get them to school in a few minutes.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Fine, though I’m saving the Summer Belle thing to tease them about later. Still...” She tapped her chin with a forehoof. “Maybe now that I’m a Princess I can close school. How does that sound, brats?”

“You can close school?” Spectral exclaimed, lifting off the ground as he buzzed his wings in excitement. “Best Princess ever!”

Firefly stamped her hoof. “No, she can not close school. Boys, go eat your breakfast before it gets cold.”

“Uh, no I could totally close school.” Rainbow Dash flashed a cocky grin, stepping between Firefly and the boys. “Royal prerogative and all that.”

Firefly put a wing over her daughter’s back and dragged her back into line. “No you couldn’t, dear. Cloudsdale is an allied city state ruled by a steering council.” Her eyes narrowed. “As you would have learned if you’d ever paid any attention in school.”

“Urgh again with the school thing.” Rainbow Dash dragged her hooves down her face. “Come on, Mom, I’m freaking royalty now. is that really something you’re going to keep aloft?”

“I’m trying to look out for you, dearest,” Firefly replied, with a cold smile. “One of us has to look out for your well-being after all.”

“Uh oh,” Bolt said, his eyes shifting between the two mares. “Here they go again.”

“I am more than capable of looking after myself, you know,” Rainbow shot back, bristling.

“Oh yes, I forgot. How are you doing as a small town cloudpusher?”

Rainbow Dash jabbed a hoof at her horn. “Pretty well actually! Why is it you always get on my case about friggin’ school no matter what I do? It was six years ago.”

“I don’t know, why do you always bring up how good a decision you made?” Firefly shot back. “Perhaps you’ve noticed at last that a pony needs to know more than how to fly fast and nearly break her neck every other week.”

“I’ll have you know the Wonderbolts think that my flying is the best thing they’ve ever seen.” Dash tossed her head. “And I haven’t broken a bone in three months.”

“Uh, Dad!” Arrow called over his shoulder. “We might need you to step in over here!”

“Oh yes, let's also talk about your remarkable safety record. But first, when were you planning to tell me about the brainwashing incident with Starlight Glimmer?”

“I was–” Rainbow Dash paused, blinking. “Wait, how did you even hear about that?”

“I have tea with Fluttershy’s mother every Wednesday,” Firefly explained, waving the issue off. “It’s the only way I can actually hear what happens to you girls on these little ‘crown adventures’ of yours. Well, save for watching the occasional monster rampaging across the land from the peanut gallery.”

“Well, Fluttershy always oversells these things,” Rainbow muttered, staring at her forehooves. “It was only a little mind magic and– You know what, why am I even defending this? We saved a whole bunch of ponies and everything worked out great, as usual. Maybe, just maybe, I actually have a clue what I’m sticking my nose into.”

“Do you, Rainbow Dash?” Firefly’s eyes narrowed. “So you’ve actually prepared for the fact Celestia may ask you to rule a city like Princess Cadence? You’re ready to fight off kidnappers like Princess Twilight?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Hey, I just said we kicked Starlight’s plot and if she tries anything again I’ll be blasting her with magic lasers. I can handle myself.”

Firefly glowered at her. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Urgh!” Rainbow Dash through up her hooves. “Can’t you just be happy for me for once in my life? I’ve saved the world, like, six times now, I’ve flown with the Wonderbolts and I’m going to be friggin’ coronated in the near future! What do I need to do around here to get a little respect?”

“Come on, Squirt,” Bolt said, grabbing his younger brother who was watching the growing argument with horror. “Back up before they start throwing lightning again.” The trio began to slink away to a safe distance.

“Perhaps if you were capable of showing the slightest amount yourself you’d know,” Firefly snapped.

“Gargh, and you always make it about me!” Rainbow stamped a hoof and an ear-splitting boom of thunder made everypony but her jump. “You know what I think? I think you’re jealous. You can’t stand the idea of me actually having a life! You hate the fact that one of us is out there actually achieving things and you’re stuck on this cloud looking after the brats!”

Utter silence descended between the mares.

“What?” Firefly’s voice was as cold as ice and her glare could cut through steel at ten paces. “What did you say?”

“She’s gonna’ blow!” Bolt and Arrow dived behind a column.

Rainbow Dash paused for half a second or so, as if teetering on the realisation that she had, once again, gone too far. It didn’t stick.

“Yeah, you know what, you are jeal~ous!”

“That’s it!” Firefly roared. “I don’t have to listen to this lip from you young lady, you are grounded!”

“I don’t have to listen to you, I’m royalty!” Rainbow Dash spread her wings wide and crouched for a take-off. “I don’t know why I even came here anymore!” With a wumph of displaced air she pumped her wings and disappeared into the sky, leaving only a shimmering rainbow trail in her wake.

“Hey!” Firefly yelled, spreading her own wings. “Don’t you fly away from me, I wasn’t done yelling at you yet. Get right back here missy and–”

“Honey, she’s gone,” Rainbow Blaze interrupted, pressing up against his wife’s flank.

“Well...” Firefly spluttered for a moment, incoherent with rage. “Well, I’m going right after her and bashing some sense into–”

Blaze put his good wing over her withers and drew her in close. “Firefly, breathe.”

She raised her hoof, and for a moment seemed to seriously consider punching him in the mouth. Then she paused, took a deep breath, and lowered it back onto the cloud. “Urgh...” She hung her head. “Ponyfeathers. I did it again, didn’t I?”

“Well, I’m going to split the blame fifty/fifty on this one.” Blaze said, ignoring Firefly’s scowl. “But really, dear, you’ve got to give Dashie some clear air once in awhile.”

Firefly let out an annoyed huff. “I know, I know. But she’s going to get hurt again.”

Blaze let out a long sigh. “Sometimes to really let them fly, you have to let them crash all on their own. She’ll figure it out.”

There was a sudden rustle of feathers and Rainbow Dash landed hard in front of the couple.

“Yeah! And also, you can’t ground me because I already moved out!” she exclaimed. She was met with baffled silence. “Um... You know, because you said I was grounded... And I’m not going to do it? Okay whatever, bye.”

She spread her wings and leapt back into the air as Firefly facehooved.

Blaze sighed. “I’ll admit, some ponies need a few more knocks to learn than others.”

Author's Note

Oh Rainbow, you already had the last word :facehoof:

Anyway, sorry for this chapter taking me a while. As it turns out that while its easy to write something funny or write an argument, a funny argument is pretty damn difficult. This chapter was necessary though as it sets up Rainbow's key conflict with her newfound status that being an alicorn doesn't move her towards her goals. As I've mentioned before these stories can quickly become wishfulfillment if you're not careful so it's important to lay this groundwork. That and I really enjoyed writing Rainbow's family :raritywink:

Now that everything's all set up I'm going to be breaking into a few longer storylines, but first it's question time! Twilight's going to be fielding questions about alicornhood in the next chapter, anyone got any they'd like to add to the list before I wrap it up?

Princess Twilight’s Alicorns 101

“Ahem,” Twilight began, rapping her stack of notes against the lectern. “If I could have everypony’s attention please.” She looked up from the floor of the lecture theatre at her friends who sat in the front row of the crystal stands in various states of readiness. Fluttershy, Twilight was pleased to note, had brought a quill and notebook. Rainbow Dash had brought a pillow.

“Right then.” Twilight levitated her notes and shuffled through them. “Now, I’d like to welcome you all to Alicorns 101, we’ll be going through a brief overview through your new physiologies, magics and how we’ll be proceeding given we’ve doubled the potential pool of Equestrian Princesses. Now, are there any questions before we begin?”

“Uh, is this going to take long, Sugarcube?” Applejack enquired, casting a worried eye across the half dozen blackboards filled to the brim with complicated equations and anatomical charts. “Only, we left the Crusaders in the library and Ah ain’t sure how long Spike’ll be able to keep ‘em corralled.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Applejack.” Twilight smiled. “I’m sure they’ll be able to find plenty of ways to keep themselves occupied.”

“That’s what Ah’m afraid of,” Applejack muttered to herself.

“Any other questions?” Twilight continued.

“Yeah, I’ve got one,” Rainbow Dash interjected, raising a hoof. “Why does your castle got a lecture theater anyway?”

Twilight’s smile broadened. “Well as it happens there’s a very interesting bit of science behind that.” Her horn blazed with light for a moment and, with a rapid fire crackle of teleportation, a new set of blackboards appeared containing even more complicated equations and diagrams. “Harmonious magic is a rarely studied topic but has demonstrated a very high level of abstract problem solving. This suggests that it can incorporate the wishes of the caster to a far greater degree than—”

Rainbow Dash put her hoof up again.

“—Yes?”

“Nevermind, I think I’ve figured it out.”

Twilight scowled at her. After another string of spells the blackboards returned to their original formation. “So, as you all know, an alicorn combines the features of the three major pony subspecies; pegasus, unicorn and earth pony.”

“Ooo, ooo!” Pinkie exclaimed, bouncing up and down in her seat, foreleg and wing extended high. “Are we also part crystal ponies?”

“I...” Twilight frowned. “I think that they’d count as a subcategory of earth ponies. But, that only makes sense if you ignore the fact we were all briefly transformed after restoring the crystal heart.” Twilight stared at her blackboards for a long moment. “I’ll get back to you on that. Anyway, alicorns are a combination of–”

“Hey, what about bat-ponies?” Rainbow cut in. “I hear they have awesome radar vision. Think of all the pranks we could pull with that, Pinkie Pie.” She and Pinkie shared mutual, evil grins.

Twilight sighed. “First, it’s sonar, not radar,and second, thestrals are pegasi under a generational curse rather than a true subspecies. I don’t think we share any of their more infamous traits. Unless anypony’s found themselves able to do an ultrasonic chirp I think we can discount that.”

She turned to look at her blackboards.

“Chp!” Fluttershy let out a impossibly shrill burst of noise that echoed through the theater and made everypony jump in surprise.

“Oh, um, sorry about that,” she said, ducking her head. “The... uh, acoustics are better here than I thought.

Twilight twiddled a hoof in her ear and shook her head. “Okay, I stand corrected. Alicorns can apparently hear ultrasonics... Also I owe Mrs Reedy an apology about that ‘broken’ dog whistle. How long have you been able to do that?”

Fluttershy toyed with the tip of her mane and disappeared deeper behind the obscuring pink veil. “Well actually, I’ve been able to do that since the ‘Flutterbat’ incident.” She gave a sheepish smile. “I didn’t want to bother you about it.”

“Didn’t want to...” Twilight waved that off. “Okay, I think we have to look into this afterwards. Are you free to drop by my lab afterwards?”

“Oh, I guess so. But, is that the lab with all the big, scary machines that–”

“Excellent.” Twilight cut her off before Fluttershy could talk herself out of it. “Okay, so as I was saying, alicorns are a combination of the three primary tribes–”

“And sea ponies?” Pinkie Pie interjected, bouncing in place. “I hear they have great singing voices. ‘Under da’ sea. Under da’ sea–’”

“Oh hay no!” Applejack snapped, shuddering.

Twilight’s mouth worked in silence for a moment as she struggled to process the question. “I... I have no idea. Don’t stick your head in a bucket to find out.”

She riffled through her notecards for a moment, straining to find her train of thought. “Now, we don’t know much about alicorns, although, as a demographic, we’re growing rapidly. For the most part we share the major features of ponykind, in fact the commonalities are far more frequent than the differences. I can recommend a good few books on wing-care and horn-care which are broadly applicable.”

“However, there are some differences worth noting.” Twilight turned to one of the many blackboards and tapped a hoof on the chalk outline of an alicorn. “First, as I’m sure you’ve noticed you’ve all undergone some major changes, even in the features you had before.”

“You’re telling me,” Rainbow Dash interjected, leaning over the desk. “I’ve gained three inches where it counts.”

Everypony in the room turned to stare at her.

“What?” she demanded, staring back.

Applejack was the first to break the awkward silence. “Umm, Sugarcube. Want to run that by us again?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying there’s going to be some change in performance. Okay, maybe it’ll help with keeping up with the Wonderbolts, but it's going to cramp my style.”

Rarity and Fluttershy went bright red.

“Umm...” Twilight began. “Well, I’m not sure if that was something I noticed.”

“Well of course not,” Rainbow said, rolling her eyes and spreading her wings. “You didn’t have a wingspan to measure before.”

A collective. “Oh!” rolled around the room and a look of sudden relief spread across the alicorns’ features.

“Right, right,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “Sorry, I had completely the wrong idea there.”

“Yeah, I thought I’d been to all the wrong Wonderbolt parties,” Pinkie exclaimed, grinning salaciously. Applejack cuffed her over the head with a wing.

Twilight shook herself, silently wishing for an amnesia charm. “Right. Well, moving swiftly onwards. Yes, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, your wingspan will have increased. Likewise, Rarity, you may find your horn is longer. It’s also safe to say we’ve all gained a little height and, estimating from our small sample size, we’ll continue to grow for many years to come.”

“And here was I, hoping I could salvage at least some of my wardrobe.” Rarity gave a dramatic toss of the head and pressed a foreleg against her head. “Still, one must soldier on in these difficult times. That and learn how to sew subtle wing-slits.”

“Look on the bright side,” Rainbow cut in. “Now that you’ve got wings, you’ll be able to make dresses a pony can really fly in.”

Rarity cocked her head. “I was under the impression you already could fly in my dresses, darling. Or am I misremembering the gala?”

“Oh, sure you can fly. But not fly,” Rainbow Dash explained, with her typical disregard for the Equine language. “You’ll figure it out when I get you girls in the air. Which reminds me, you’ll all be joining Twilight’s flying lessons at dawn tomorrow.” She shot a glare at Twilight. “And I mean dawn, not ‘whenever Spike remembers to wake you up’.”

“It was a very fascinating book on flight dynamics!” Twilight protested.

“That was your excuse three weeks ago. Last week was dragon wings.”

Twilight blushed. “Umm...”

“Wait, we’re going to be flying tomorrow?” Pinkie exclaimed, her wings exploding from her sides and knocking Applejack’s hat off. “Whoopee! Soon there’ll be no pony in Equestria who can avoid a Pinkie Party.”

Rainbow gave a smug smirk. “Was there ever any doubt? With me as your coach you’ll be trying out for the Wonderbolts before you know it. Heck, if I could get Shy into the Equestria games then I can get Rarity doing barrel rolls by Spring.”

A shudder ran down Rarity’s spine. “Urgh, must we aim for such a thing? I honestly don’t have the stomach for it.”

“Eh, you’re half pegasus now,” Rainbow shot back, waving her off. “You’ll pick it up easier than falling off of Cloudsdale.” Rarity glowered at her, but Rainbow Dash didn’t seem to notice. “Isn’t that right, Twilight?”

“Well, more or less,” Twilight admitted, pulling a set of notecards out of her stack. “Alicorns share a number of features that are common to both pegasi and other airborne species. You should find yourselves more resistant to the weather, have an innate cloudwalking ability and a far improved sense of balance.” She paused, frowning at her card. “Also, ninety percent of pegasi can ‘see’ which way is north if they squint. Huh, I was wondering what that was about. Good to know.”

“Umm, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy interjected, hesitantly. “You don’t need me for your flying lessons, do you?”

“New wings, new rules Fluttershy. I know I’ve got half a dozen stunts I’m going to have to relearn.” Rainbow grinned. “And besides, I need somepony who knows their patagium from their pasterns. Don’t worry about it, it’ll be just like flight camp all over again.”

Fluttershy sank deeper into her seat. “That’s what I’m afraid of,” she murmured.

“On a similar note, I will also be starting magic lessons in the next few weeks,” Twilight continued beaming. “After talking with Cadence and Luna I figure you should all start experiencing magic surges over the next few weeks. Once that happens, I can start teaching you all some simple spells so that you can get into practice and avoid any unfortunate accidents.”

“Oh, this is going to be so exciting.” She let out an excited squeal and pranced on the spot. “I’ve already got so many books for us to read. Rainbow Dash, I’ve taken your horn lasers’ idea under consideration so we’ll be starting with light-spells. They are some of the most under researched areas of arcane craft in my opinion.” Her horn kindled and half a dozen blackboards spun around, revealing spell-forms of eye bending complexity.

“Urh, Sugarcube.”

“As you can see,” Twilight continued, already lost in her lecture. “While most unicorns consider light to be a byproduct of casting—the ground state of magic as it were—there are a number of interesting ways of generating light directly. Research in the area was first started by a mare called Vain Hoping. A very colourful character who wanted to find an substitute for sunlight to deal with vamponies. If you can believe such a thing.”

“Twi’.”

“Despite the total failure of anypony to validate the existence of vamponies, Vain did achieve great advances in our understanding of light and the magical properties attached to it. Much of her work was later incorporated into the common lightbulb that we use today by a stallion called–”

“Twilight!” Applejack yelled.

Twilight started. “I– Yes? Did you have a question?”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Ah’m sure this is all very interesting, but perhaps you want to save this for the actual lesson.”

“Oh, right, yes that would be sensible,” Twilight said, blushing. “Sorry about that.”

“Interesting?” Rainbow Dash whispered to Applejack. “I thought you were the element of
Honesty?”

“Give it a rest, miss Laser Head,” Applejack shot back, barely moving her lips.

“Well, I guess there isn’t a huge amount left to say about unicorn magic until you start surging,” Twilight continued, unheeding. “Do be aware that you’re going to have quite a deep well of power, so the effects will be greater than a foal’s. But, there’s very little that unicorn magic can do that unicorn magic can’t undo. Just remain calm and seek assistance if there’s anything you can’t handle.”

“Now, that only leaves earth pony magic.” Twilight glanced down at her notes and made a face. “I... well... Over to you Applejack.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “You know, one of these days you’re going to have to stick with mah lessons for more than three hours.”

“It was not three hours,” Twilight exclaimed, her wings spreading wide. “It was—” She paused, counting on her primaries. “—Okay, actually it was three hours. But we didn’t learn a thing about earth pony magic! It was just doing random farm chores.”

“That is earth pony magic,” Applejack replied, with a lazy smirk painted across her face. “Or it was what my Ma and Pa taught me of it. It ain’t something you pick up in an afternoon.”

“But what about leylines, geomancy, biomancy?” Twilight shot back. “We didn’t touch on anything like that. We just picked apples.”

“Twi’, if you’re wanting somepony to teach you about all those fancy terms you’re best off asking up in Canterlot. Ah know how to farm, that’s what I’ll teach.”

Twilight let out a frustrated grunt. “That’s what you said last time.” She sighed, shaking her head. “Anyway, girls. For now, I don’t have the first clue about earth pony magic. You can probably do it, but I have no idea what it is.”

“Hold on a moment,” Rarity interjected. “What about an earth pony strength? Their stamina? Their skill? What about all those wise old earth pony sages?”

“What about Pinkie Pie?” Rainbow Dash said, pointing at the mare who just smiled and waved.

“Yes, yes, those are all well known examples,” Twilight grumbled. “But are any of those magic, or just skill?” She shrugged. “That’s the biggest problem with the entire science of earth pony magic, actually pointing at something an earth pony has done and calling it magic. All the evidence suggests that there is something that sets earth ponies apart from unicorns and pegasi when it comes to certain abilities. But, look at Big Mac. Are you going to tell me his strength comes entirely from magic when he’s got more muscle than the six of us combined?”

Rarity frowned. “I suppose you have a point.”

“Yeah, but what about Pinkie Pie,” Rainbow repeated. “Are you seriously telling me that isn’t magic?”

Twilight shook her head. “I have no idea what that is but the last time I tried to figure it out, I forgot what a Tuesday was. You’re welcome to try and find out.”

Rainbow turned to face Pinkie Pie, who’d somehow managed to find herself a brown cloak when nopony was looking.

“Ah, young one, you’ve come to learn the power of the Horse, have you?” she intoned, her voice deep and husky. “Well, first you must understand that there is no spoon.”

A beat passed. Rainbow craned her neck to look right around the room. Then up at the ceiling. Then under her wing. “Uh, Pinkie Pie. I don’t there are any spoons in here.”

“Exactly.”

“What?”

“The spoon doesn’t exist,” Pinkie explained, with a sage nod.

Rainbow frowned. “What spoon?”

“No, no. There is no spoon.”

“So why do you keep bringing it up?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

“Bringing what up?”

“The spoon!”

“There isn’t a spoon, silly.”

Rainbow Dash’s head hit the desk. “Urgh... I think I get why you gave up on this now, Twilight.”

“Tell me about it, she managed to convince me to walk into a mirror,” Twilight grumbled.

“It wasn’t my fault, you weren’t curious enough,” Pinkie Pie protested.

Twilight just rolled her eyes. “So, that’s earth pony magic,” she concluded. “I’m sorry I can’t be much more help, Princess duties have prevented me from doing much more than scraping the surface. Still, I’m sure between the six of us we can figure something out for those of you still curious.” She flicked through to the end of the note stack.

“Now, on the subject of Princessly duties. Princess Celestia has warned me that five snap coronations aren’t exactly on the cards.” She smiled. “Sorry about that girls, but it seems something can catch her by surprise after all. Now–”

“Pardon me for interrupting,” Rarity said, raising a hoof. “But I can’t help but notice a glaring omission.”

“Omission?” Twilight flicked back through her cards. “I don’t think so. Three tribes, three magics, outline of lessons moving forwards.”

“A rather pressing concern we all share about our current condition?” Rarity pressed, gesturing with a wing at the gathered alicorns.

Twilight stared, uncomprehending for a long moment “Oh!” she exclaimed at last. “Well I’m afraid I can’t say much about alicorn magic right now. I haven’t had nearly enough time to do much than confirm its existence. However I have a few early conclusions I think you’ll find fascinating.”

Rarity sighed. “I meant the immortality issue, darling.”

“Ah...” Twilight’s ears folded flat and she began to shuffle her forehooves. “That.”

“Ah ain’t liking the sound of this.”

“What’s the problem?” Rainbow Dash demanded, spreading her wings. “We’re alicorns. Alicorns live forever. Or at least thousands of years, right?”

Twilight sighed. “Look girls, all I can tell you about this is what Celestia told me when I asked six months ago. ‘You are no more immortal than I am’.”

“Okay, so we’re immortal, what’s the...” Rainbow Dash trailed off, frowning. “Wait, did she mean we’re immortal or she isn’t?”

Twilight just let out a long sigh.

“Oh come now,” Rarity pressed. “Surely we’re not suggesting Princess Celestia of all ponies is mortal? She’s ruled Equestria for millennia.”

“Three hundred and twenty two years next spring, actually,” Twilight corrected on reflex. “Though her position as a Princess of Equestria dates back to the founders.”

“Urgh.” Applejack slumped over the desk. “Twi’, my granny raised me never to speak ill of my elders—and there ain’t any more elder—but how’d you ever learn anything as Celestia’s student when the mare can’t give a straight answer to save her life?”

“Heh, it’s a challenging teaching style, true,” Twilight admitted. “But I think in this case, she may just not know. How do you even test for immortality without testing to destruction?” She shrugged. “I’m personally trying not to worry about it. It’s not going to affect us in the next ten years, or even twenty. If a century from we’re all still sitting here without a wrinkle between us then we’ll have our answer, but until then I wouldn’t spend too long on it.”

“That’s... unsatisfying,” Rarity said, drumming a forehoof against the desk, a frown marring her features.

“Alas, being an alicorn isn’t a solution to all of life’s problems,” Twilight replied, with a dry chuckle.

“Ooo! What about alicorn magic?” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Because I can do this—” Her horn blazed blue and Rainbow Dash let out a yelp as she lifted into the air. It lasted just a moment before Pinkie’s magic sputtered out and Rainbow fell with a bang. “—But not much else.”

“Can you not do it?” Rainbow Dash snapped, glaring at the alicorn as she rubbed her behind.

“Yes, please practice your magic on inanimate objects for now.” Twilight frowned as she pulled out another note card. “Still, it's a good question. There’s something to the theory that there is a form of magic unique to alicorns. Celestia raising the sun is awe inspiring to see up close and Cadence has a level of mastery over emotional magic I can barely comprehend.” A shudder ran down her spine. “That said, I haven’t started setting the stars in the sky, or even stepped out of the bell curve for unicorn power levels. It’s another of those wait and see things I’m afraid. I’ve felt that my magic has a far greater sense of presence, but that’s just gut instinct for now.”

She sighed. “Sorry, that isn’t very helpful. There’s a lot we don’t know about alicorns. Heck, we’ve got more than half of all the confirmed alicorns Equestria has ever seen right here in this room. Up until Cadence’s ascension the prevailing theory was that Celestia was unique, maybe even divine. That’s hearsay, of course, Princess Celestia has never claimed to be a god despite what some ponies have said. And with Starswirl’s last spell in hoof it’s looking more and more like being an alicorn is a fourth state of ponykind, rather than a symbol of godhood. So far nopony else has ascended after reading the–”

Twilight cut herself off, a blush suddenly rising on her cheeks. “I mean, it’s my theory that nopony will– “

“Nopony else?” Rarity cut in, arching an eyebrow at her. “Twilight, I was under the impression you didn’t want anypony reading Star Swirl’s spell.”

“You certainly put up enough of a fight to stop us reading it,” Rainbow Dash muttered, crossing her forelegs. Applejack cuffed her over the head with a weary sigh.

“That was when I thought it wouldn’t work,” Twilight shot back. “But due to, well, all the confusion after you five ascended that I may have left Star Swirl’s Journal unattended for... let's say the entire rest of the day.” She hid behind her notecards for a moment. “During that time it was read by, to my knowledge: Big Macintosh, Spike, Muffins the mailmare, Lyra Heartstrings, Cloudkicker, Thunderlane, Cranky Doodle, Cloudkicker again, Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara.”

Rainbow Dash let out a startled squawk. “Please, please tell me we don’t have Derpy, Princess of Muffins flying around,” she exclaimed, ducking as if at any moment she expected a blond alicorn to burst through the wall.

“None of those ponies ascended, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight assured her. “And don’t worry, the book is now secured.”

“Honestly, Dashie,” Rarity cut in, with a dramatic sigh. “I don’t know why you’re so set against the poor dear. Muffins is a character to be sure, but she means no harm.”

“You say that again next time she demolishes the town hall,” Rainbow Dash muttered.

“Actually I believe that may have been my fault,” Twilight said, with a sheepish smile. “The parasprites had quite an appetite for structural supports it seems. That and barns.” Applejack let out a huff. “Anyway, given the breadth of ponies who’ve used the spell we can say that something more than just reading the words is necessary to become an alicorn. My best guess is that it had to do with our connection to the Elements of Harmony, that or our bonds of friendship.”

Applejack sat bolt upright. “Bonds of friendship? Twilight, where did you say you put this book again?”

“The secure section of my library.” Twilight frowned. “Don’t worry. It’s perfectly safe there, only Spike and I have a key to get past the wards.”

“The same Spike who’s currently looking after the Crusaders?” Applejack pressed, her wings spreading. “The three friends joined at the hip?”

“Oh, Applejack.” Twilight waved the issue off. “I don’t think that Spike will have... Well, I wouldn’t worry that the Crusaders... Even if they did get through the...” Twilight swallowed the lump in her throat. “Umm, can you all excuse me for a moment?”

Twilight set off at a blind gallop for the library.

Her friends shared a look, and then were hot on her heels.

Author's Note

Hey all, sorry again for keeping you waiting on this one. As it turns out making a lecture both funny and informative is quite a task. Not to mention work’s getting in the way of ponies again, which can’t be how the world’s supposed to go...

Anyway, thanks everyone for their questions last time. There’s still a good many unanswered but some will be coming up later in the story, also I needed to call time on this one before I gnawed my leg off. Still, I’m aware that there were a lot of questions about earth pony magic and Twilight left that hanging so I’ll try to give an overview of the magic system I’m using in this story.

So pretty much every species is magical to some degree, but how this expresses itself varies greatly. Unicorns are great at the impossible kind of magic, turing apples into oranges, lead into gold, animating the inanimate and all the weird stuff you find buried deep in the Player’s Handbook that no one really expected to be read. Earth pony magic is the magic of the implausible, lifting objects that should really be too heavy, growing crops in areas that they aren’t native to, or just incredibly fast. Big Mac pulling a house around is a good example of this kind of magic run amok, not physically impossible, but straining believability. And then there's Pinkie Pie :pinkiegasp:

To put another way, say we’re moving from A to B through C, but it's impossible to pass through C. Unicorn magic doesn’t bother with C at all, jumping straight from A to B. Earth pony magic also doesn’t pass through C, but takes a long rambling route through the backstreets (pausing for tea at Great Aunt Cherry Blossom's) and somehow managed to get to B without anyone ever really being clear on why it was supposed to be so difficult in the first place. Pegasus magic also fits in this example, but they just generally agree to travel through C after all and that it's impossible isn’t worth worrying about. Pegasus magic is best defined as a series of internally consistent impossibilities.

Because of the sliding scale, being really good with one type makes it more than a little difficult to wrap your head around the others. Twilight’s slowly figuring out pegasus magic and is one day going to pick up on the earth pony way, but it's a while of yet. The rest of the girls are all going to pick up their little areas of speciality as we move forwards though, so we'll be back to this later.

I hope that’s answered more questions than it raised. Join me next time for Rainbow Dash’s boot camp. Bonus points if you guess who’s getting the boot.

Princess Rainbow Dash’s Flying Circus

“Alright you pigeons, you dodos!” Rainbow Dash hollered, walking down the short line of alicorns. She wore her coach’s whistle, her coach’s hat (reversed so as not to interfere with the horn) and a scowl. “Welcome to Flight Camp, or as I like to call it, your worst nightmare! By the end of this week you will be bruised, you will be begging for mercy, but you will be in the air. Rookies, sound off!”

“Ma’am yes Ma'am!” Twilight and Pinkie Pie yelled, both stood ramrod straight. Pinkie Pie with a broad grin and boundless enthusiasm, Twilight with the slightly manic tension of a mare on too much caffeine. Between the two Applejack shot a skeptical glance at the pair.

“Really?” she said, rolling her eyes.

“What was that recruit?” Rainbow Dash roared, immediately in her face. “Do I hear somepony saying they don’t want to fly?”

Applejack let out a huff. “No... Ma'am. Ya’ don’t need to yell.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Yes I do recruit! Flying isn’t something you can fool around with. To be an awesome flier you have to remember the three D’s at all times. Discipline! Dedication! Daring! And Rainbow Dash!” She paused, rubbing her chin with a hoof. “Though I suppose that last one’s an R... Eh, whatever.”

“My point is, recruits!” she snapped, resuming her pacing. “When you’re up there in the big blue and you get in trouble you’re not gonna’ find a pony behind a cloud waiting to rescue you. Those shiny new wings are the only thing that’ll stop you from an unpleasant meeting with the ground. Until I trust you with your flippy-flappers you will be doing what I say, when I say it! That means, when I tell you to jump I want you all three hooves above my head and asking when to land. Understood?”

“Ma’am yes Ma'am!” Pinkie and Twilight chorused.

“Yes, Ma'am.” Applejack sighed. “Fluttershy, how did you get out of this again?”

Fluttershy, who’d been dozing at the crown of the hill started. “Me? Oh... well I’m not feeling a hundred percent after all the chaos of the Crusaders yesterday.” She shifted her wing in its sling, wincing. “I’m sure I’ll be able to join you for the next one.”

Rainbow Dash shook her head. “She got a doctor's note and everything,” she admitted with a sigh. “Next time though– Oh no, an injured squirrel!” She whirled, pointing.

“Where!” Fluttershy exclaimed, leaping to her hooves and spreading her wings wide. For a moment she scanned the horizon, frantically, then caught sight of Rainbow Dash’s smirk. “I mean... ooo, ow, my wing.” She gave a sheepish smile.

“Get in line, sister.”

Sighing, she slunk back into the line of alicorns.

“Told ya’,” Rainbow said, flashing a cocky grin. “I bet that chemistry stuff that Apple Bloom was playing with wasn’t even that dangerous.”

“It was trinitrotoluene!” Twilight protested. She received blank looks all around.

“See, nothing serious,” Rainbow Dash continued. “And Scootaloo hadn’t even got halfway through all your security traps around Starswirl's book when we caught up to her, so no harm done there either. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, jump!”

Fluttershy let out a startled squeak as Pinkie Pie and Twilight leapt into the air. Twilight hovered, unsteady on her wings but more or less stable. Pinkie Pie just stood there.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about, Twilight.” Rainbow frowned at Pinkie Pie’s unsettling ignorance of gravity. “Pinkie, you know it's customary to flap your wings, right?”

“Okie dokie—” Pinkie Pie spread her wings and immediately dropped like a rock. “—owie...”

Rainbow Dash facehooved. “Of course. Good... hustle, Pinkie. Right, Twilight, come down. Today, girls, we’re going to be starting with the basics. That means we’re going to be doing a lot of landing and a lot of gliding. Once you’ve got those down–”

“Oh darlings!” Rarity’s singsong voice cut through the still morning air. She trotted through the long grass towards the group, her hair tied up in an elaborate braid wearing lurid turquoise ankle socks. “So sorry if I kept you all waiting. Sweetie Belle, the guilty darling that she is, insisted on cooking breakfast today.”

Rainbow glanced over her shoulder at the sun, creeping slowly over the horizon. “Shouldn’t that have made you, you know, earlier?” she snapped.

Rarity tittered. “Oh my, you’ve never had the girls offer to cook, have you?” She shook her head, stepping into line. “I won’t hear a word against my sister, but it was definitely a discrete trip to Sugarcube Corner for me this morning.”

“Whatever.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Alright girls, we’re burning daylight here. First things first, pres~ent wings!”

Twilight and Fluttershy snapped their wings open and held them wide in a parade ground rest. Applejack followed suit a moment later, casting her eyes left and right as she tried to mirror the motion, with Rarity following her lead. Pinkie’s wings flopped open and stayed there, despite her best efforts.

“Okay then...” Rainbow began, walking down the line. “Fluttershy, great. Old Flight Camp instincts never leave you, do they? Twilight, spread those primaries and c'mon girl, stop being so shy about the oil. Applejack–”

Rainbow Dash did a double take, as she saw the sheer width of the cow-pony’s wings. “Whoa, Applejack. I hope you’re planning to grow into those babies.” She shook her head and darted in, pushing Applejack into the proper posture with a few well placed tweaks. “Try and keep the tension for this on your tendons, though. Displaying your wings always feels weird at first, but you get used it.”

“What exactly are we doing this for anyhow?” Applejack cut in, shuffling her hooves.

“Tradition,” Rainbow said with a shrug. “And so I can see if you preened properly.” She leaned in and plucked a long orange feather, eliciting a hiss of pain from Applejack. “That hurt?”

“A little,” Applejack muttered, unclenching her teeth.

“Good. Pluck loose feathers as soon as you can bear. Otherwise, they can fester.”

Rainbow continued down the line. Pinkie Pie was a mess, struggling to even keep her wings level let alone presented. After a minute trying to drag the limbs into position, Rainbow Dash stepped back frowning.

“Being hexapedal is hard,” Pinkie lamented, hanging her head. Her wings dropped, lopsided in an instant.

“Well I don’t know about that, but having wings takes a lot of work.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “I’ll get back to you, Rarity, I–argh.”

Rainbow Dash turned and was nearly blinded by the glare coming off Rarity’s brilliant white wings.

“What was that, darling?” Rarity inquired, in a singsong tone. A smug smile plastered across her face despite her best efforts to appear demure.

Rainbow held up a hoof in front of her eyes. “What have you done?” she demanded.

“Oh, this?” She brushed an invisible speck of dust from her wings. “Why, I dropped by the spa yesterday. I knew I simply had to be in tip top shape for our first lesson so I asked for their very best.”

“Well you certainly got value for money,” Rainbow exclaimed, shuffling around the alicorn so the glare wasn’t quite as blinding. “You’ve got, like, four pegasi’s worth of oil on those things.” She frowned and ran a hoof along one of Rarity's primary feathers. “Rarity, these are softer than foal down!”

“I know,” Rarity cooed. “Doesn’t it just feel wonderful? Aloe and Lotus were hesitant but I think the results speak for themselves.”

Rainbow Dash facehooved. “Urgh. Okay, we’ve got to fix this mess. Everypony! Drop and give me twenty.”

Pinkie Pie flopped, boneless to the floor. “Here you go,” she chirped, pulling a small bag of bits out of her mane.

“Wing-ups!” Rainbow Dash snapped. “Twenty wing-ups, jeeze.”

“Ooh, why didn’t you say so?”

Rainbow Dash didn’t dignify that with an answer. The girls scrambled into position, wingtips flat against the ground and forehooves raised, leaving only Rarity and Rainbow standing.

“Are you quite sure about this, darling?” Rarity began, with a skeptical glance at the dew spotted grass. “The ground here seems a little... dirty.”

“Yeah, that’s the point.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “It’s made of dirt, that’s what it does. Now come on. Wings on the ground and weight through your hips.” She dropped into the pose before Rarity.

Wrinkling her nose Rarity followed suit, trying to hold herself up on only the very tips of her wings.

“One!” Rainbow Dash pushed herself down and up on her wings, mirrored by the rest of the line. Rarity barely moved.

Rolling her eyes, Dash repeated. “One.”

Again, Rarity made only the smallest motion she could muster.

“One.”

“Oh really, darling,” Rarity snapped, after another perfunctory bob. “There are other numbers.”

“And you’ll hear them when you do a proper wing-up,” Rainbow Dash shot back. “Come on, Rarity get your nose in the grass. You need muscle in your wings if you’re going to fly. And trust me, you don’t want your wings failing on you at three thousand hooves.”

Rarity let out annoyed huff. “Very well.” She ducked lower, only to have her wings slip out either side of her and deposit her on the ground with an ‘oof’.

“One half.” Rainbow Dash sighed.

“Urgh, I think that’s quite enough of that,” Rarity said, stumbling to her hooves and bushing the grass out of her coat. “What’s next?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and kicked herself into the air, hovering before Rarity. “Wing-ups, cadet!” she roared. “So get your prissy white plot back on the ground!”

“There’s no need to be rude,” Rarity shot back, turning her nose up. “It clearly wasn’t working. We’ll just have to try something else.”

“Something else?” Rainbow Dash echoed, disbelief creeping into her voice. “Rarity, I am literally on lesson one here. Actually, scratch that, this is freakin’ lesson zero—listen to your instructor! If you don’t do what I say, you’re going to fall out of the sky faster than a unicorn off of Cloudsdale.”

Rarity’s shuddered. “I was under the impression we’d moved on from that.”

“You moved on. I’m still a little mad at you.” Rainbow Dash shrugged, holding her forehooves barely a millimeter apart. “Just a touch. And maybe if you think back you’ll remember just how dangerous flying can be if you aren't careful. It isn’t some prissy formal dance or yoga lesson. Everything I’m teaching will be life and death up there.”

Rarity let out a huff. “My yoga classes are a crucial part of my daily calisthenics, I’ll have you know. And I’m quite aware that one has to listen to her teacher, but perhaps there is also some onus on listening to your student? Hmm?”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed. “Really?” she began, hovering face to face with Rarity. “So, what you’re saying is... you wanna’ try something different? Something that means you don’t have to get down in the dirt with the rest of us?”

“Why, yes.” Rarity broke into a broad smile. “I’m thinking maybe some loose rugs to–”

“No, no. I got this. Hold your wings out and wait right here.” With a blast of displaced air Rainbow Dash shot away into the sky, leaving only her trademark contrail.

“Rares,” Applejack interjected, from her position on the floor. “You sure this is a good idea?”

“Oh, don’t worry yourself on my part,” Rarity said with a dismissive wave. With a tiny frown she spread her wings to their full extent. “Every lesson is a negotiation at heart. We must each learn the measure of the other mare before we can progress.”

“Right... You do know our Rainbow ain’t one that learns easy, right?”

Rarity tossed her head. “Well, I have also gained a reputation for being stubborn when the occasion demands. We shall see who blinks first.”

A faint howl of wind was the only warning anypony had of Rainbow Dash’s return. She flew at breakneck speed across the grass, a dust-devil clasped between her hooves and a nasty grin on her face. Rarity had half a second to react and chose poorly in opening her mouth to scream.

“So,” Rainbow continued, dusting a few flecks of dust from her hooves as she landed in front of Rarity. A faint wind whipped around them as Twilight swept the slowly settling dust cloud away with her magic. “How’s that work for you?”

Rarity, covered from head to hoof in dust, let out a hacking cough. “You realise, of course,” she croaked. “You will pay for this?”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Don’t care. Now that you’re as grubby as you’re going to get, I want to see some wing-ups, recruit. Or do I have to come up with something else different?”

Muttering to herself, and sparing a glare for the rainbow-maned alicorn, Rarity lowered herself onto her wings.

“That really necessary, sugarcube?” Applejack interjected as she straightened her hat.

“Of course it was, do I look like some evil drill sergeant?” A smug grin broke through Rainbow Dash’s professional mask for a moment. “Now, girls, on my mark. One! Two!” She paced down the line, keeping an eye on the girls’ technique. “Two and a half. All the way down please, Rarity. Three!”

Rarity merely glared at her.

“Don’t you give me that sass,” she began to walk down the line as the alicorns continued their wing-ups. “Lesson one of flying, look after your wings. Flying ain’t magic, up there it’s all physics and physics takes no prisoners if you feel tired, or get sloppy or even get cocky. That means that your wings have to be in shape before you even think about getting into the air. They should be preened—” She gave Twilight a pointed look. “—And they should be properly oiled. That does not mean soaked in the stuff. If you happen to overdo the oil, though, I can always recommend a good dust bath.”

Rarity’s glare intensified.

“Okay, rookies, back on your hooves!” Rainbow snapped. With only a little grumbling the alicorns scrambled back to their hooves, shaking out their wings. “As I was saying, today we’re doing the basics.” She spread her wings wide and shot into the sky, returning mere moments later with a pony sized wedge of cloud. “What we’ll be focusing on is called a ‘neutral glide’. This is, and I have to stress this, the single simplest maneuver you can do and we will be doing nothing else until you can do it safely. Now, I’ll demonstrate.”

Rainbow Dash plucked a disk of cloudstuff from the nearby cloud and flopped onto it. She spread her wings wide, arching them to maximise the surface area, and extended her hind legs straight out.

“A glide position like this is pretty simple. You fall, the air catches under your wings and that keeps you in the air. We’re all very broad winged now, so you’re looking at a glide-ratio of about eight to one. That’s eight hooves along for every hoof you fall. It's a nice and gentle way to get back to the ground. Landing can be a bit interesting as it's a running halt, but let's get you girls familiar with your wings before doing anything fancy.”

She leapt off of her cloud and began dishing out disks of fluff to the girls. “Gliding is the easiest form of flying and takes very little brain power to get right,” she continued. “All you need to do is keep your wings locked like that and you will reach the ground without any problem. Even if you mess up and end up in a spin or fall, lock your wings in position and you’ll find yourself in a controlled glide without doing anything more complicated than wiggling your tail. Understood?”

The girls shared uneasy looks.

Rarity raised her hoof, struggling to keep hold of her tuft of cloud. “Darling, what was that last little bit you said? I’m afraid to say I got a little lost.”

“Lost?” Rainbow frowned. “Okay, well tell me where I lost you and we can catch up from there.”

“I...” Rarity pursed her lips. “I believe you’d just said ‘neutral glide’.”

Rainbow Dash facehooved. “Whooboy, this is going to take some work.” She spread her wings and cracked her joints. “Okay, let's see if I can make this simple. Girls, take five.”

Half an hour later, with Celestia’s sun well and truly above the horizon, Rainbow Dash finally threw her hooves up in frustration.

“Right, fine, whatever!” she exclaimed, stepping back from Rarity’s outstretched wings with a scowl. “That’s close enough for weather work.”

“Oh thank goodness,” Rarity exclaimed, shaking out her wings. “I thought this would never end.”

Rainbow fought back a wince as Rarity immediately dipped her wings on the left side. “Right... Okay girls, back in line!”

There was a scramble as Pinkie Pie and Applejack hurried over, both breathing heavily from a jog around the hill.

“And you, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash snapped. She lifted into the air and peered over the brow of the hill to where Twilight and Fluttershy were playing chess. “Come on, we’re burning daylight.”

Twilight held up a hoof. “Just a second. I’m about to break a six month losing streak.” She frowned at the board before moving her rook forwards two spaces. “Ah ha!”

With a near imperceptible roll of the eyes Fluttershy slid her princess across the board. “Checkmate.”

Twilight goggled, staring at the board with her mouth hanging open. “Argh!” She dropped her head into her hooves. “Okay, so that’s thirty one to seven. Good game.” Her horn kindled and, with a crack pop of teleportation, the pair were back in line.

“Right then,” Rainbow Dash continued, hovering before them. “Now, we’ve done the very basics. It took a little longer than expected, and I have to be at work in twenty minutes, but you’re almost home free.”

Rarity let out a sigh. “Oh thank goodness,” she said, softly.

Rainbow Dash pretended not to have heard. “That just leaves us with the next, absolutely crucial, step. Actually flying.” She allowed herself a vicious grin. “Now, you see that cloud up there? Twilight, if you can do the honours?”

“Of course.” Twilight's horn blazed with light as she began to draw more and more magic to her horn. Just as the light was becoming unbearable she released the spell and with an ear-splitting bang the herd vanished and reappeared on top of the cloud.

Rarity let out a startled shriek as she found herself a nail’s width from the edge of the cloud and threw herself into Applejack’s waiting forelegs. The cloud was not a particularly large specimen, barely thirty hooves across at its widest point, but it sat high enough that Ponyville was just a series of multicoloured blocks far below.

“Welcome to one thousand hooves, girls,” Rainbow Dash announced, beaming. She landed in front of them, her mane and tail buffeted by the wind. “Isn’t it wonderful? There’s no cleaner air in all of Equestria. Now, are you all ready for the fun bit?”

“Fun?” Rarity exclaimed, a hysterical lilt creeping into her voice. “Fun?!”

“Yeah, fun,” Rainbow continued. “See down there?” She pointed towards a smear of reflected sunlight. “That’s the Ponyville swimming hole. From here it’s a simple, straight shot all the way down to the water’s edge. All you have to do is lock your wings and glide until you reach the ground, or the water, I’m not worried how you land on this one. Understood, recruits?”

“Yes, Ma'am!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, beaming, as the rest of the girls nodded.

“Umm... you know, I’m really not so sure about all this,” Rarity cut in, hastily. The mare began to back further away from the edge of the cloud.

“Awesome.” Rainbow clapped her hooves together. “Alright, Twilight you’re up. Show them how it’s done.”

“Right away, Rainbow Dash.” Twilight took a running leap off the cloud without a moment’s hesitation. Showing off perhaps a little, Twilight waited a good two seconds before unfurling her wings with a wumph of displaced air. Within moments her plummet became a swoop and she shot off into the distance.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. That was definitely not how Twilight’s first glide had gone.

“Umm, we have to do that, sugarcube?” Applejack enquired, peering after Twilight, a hint of trepidation creeping into her voice.

“Don’t worry about the showboating, just spread your wings and jump.”

Applejack swallowed a lump. “Okay.” She spread her wings and stepped up to the edge of the cloud. “But if Ah go splat Ah’m coming back to haunt you.”

“Noted, now jump!”

Applejack didn’t move, she was transfixed by the view of the ground far below.

Rainbow Dash sighed, counted to three and then whacked Applejack on the cutie-mark. With a startled yell she leapt forwards, tipped over the edge of the cloud and fell like a rock for a good dozen hooves before straightening her wings and catching the wind.

“That’s it, Applejack!” Rainbow Dash called after her. “Keep those wings level. Okay, Pinkie–”

“BANZAI!” Pinkie screamed, bull rushing Rainbow who let out a startled squawk.

Despite her best efforts, Rainbow Dash failed to get out of the way in time and caught a bright pink wing full in the face. The pair went tumbling over the edge of the cloud and vanished from sight. There was a moment’s silence as Fluttershy and Rarity stared, then Rainbow Dash shot back into the sky. She landed heavily on the cloud and spat out a feather.

“Sor~ry!” Pinkie Pie’s voice echoed from far below.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “She’s fine. Okay, now Rarity.”

“Ah, oh dear.” A full body tremble shook Rarity as she stared at the edge of the cloud. “Well, I’m afraid that—darling—I’m not wholly sure...”

“Rarity,” Rainbow Dash cut in, her voice low and warning. “Are you chickening out on me?”

Rarity held a hoof to her barrel in mock surprise. “Moi? Oh heavens no, Rainbow Dash. I...” Her gaze once again flicked to the sky and she took a step back, putting her right at the centre of the small cloud. “I...” She forced a plastic grin onto her face. “I simply wish to go over my wing positions a few more times. You know. Make sure that everything is in order before the—” She swallowed a lump. “—jump.”

Cocking her head, Rainbow Dash approached her. “Really? After half an hour you want more practice? Come on, Rarity, I promise you’re ready for this. Just make the jump and we’ll sort things out on the way down.”

“The way down!” Rarity exclaimed, her face turning pale. An impressive trick for an alicorn with a snow white coat. “No no no no no! That’s far too late, I’m not moving from this spot until I am one hundred percent ready!”

“Fluttershy, make sure the girls are doing okay,” Rainbow said, without taking her eyes from Rarity.

Fluttershy glanced between the pair, pursed her lips and then shook her head. “Okay,” she said softly, then leapt over the edge of the cloud.

“Right, Rarity,” Rainbow Dash said, straightening her coaching hat. “Let me lay down how this works. You are here to learn to fly. I am your teacher. I am telling you that you need to jump off this cloud. Is there a problem that I’m not seeing here, recruit?”

“Yes, yes there is,” Rarity shot back, unable to keep the quaver from her voice. “I’m not doing it. I need more practice.”

Rainbow Dash shot her a flat look. “You are fine. Now, jump!” She jabbed a hoof at the open sky.

“No!” Rarity shot back, stamping. The cloud let out a rumble of protest. “I’m not doing it and you can’t make me.”

“Urgh, what’s your problem, Rarity?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, pressing a hoof against her temple. “You came here to fly and I’m trying to teach you, but you’ve done nothing but drag your hooves. Do you want to get airborne or not?”

“Not!” Rarity snapped. “In fact, take me down to the ground, right now—” She shuddered, her eyes flicking towards the endless blue. “—I’ve had more than enough of this.”

Rainbow Dash goggled. “Seriously? You’re going to just quit on the first lesson? After the fuss you made about having wings? You’re an alicorn, girl, and flying is part of package, but you just want to quit because, what, you’re afraid the wind will mess up your hair or something?”

“My hair?” Rarity roared, spreading her wings defensively. “I’m afraid I’ll fall to my death!”

“Your–” Rainbow Dash stifled another angry retort. She cocked her head at Rarity. “Wait, you’re afraid of heights?”

“No, no, not at all,” Rarity said, hastily. Too hastily if Rainbow Dash was any judge. “It is simply that after the third time one finds themselves plummeting to their doom, one gets a little... leery.”

With a sardonic chuckle Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Wow, I never thought the only unicorn to compete in the Young Fliers Competition would be afraid of heights.”

Rarity scowled. “That is one of the reasons.”

“Okay, okay,” Rainbow said, chuckling. “I think I know how to fix your problem. Come with me.” She beckoned with a hoof. Rarity frowned. “Seriously, come stand with me.”

“You’re going to kick me off of the cloud, aren’t you?”

Rainbow held a hoof to her chest. “I Pinkie Promise I won’t kick you off the cloud.”

Still frowning, Rarity stepped up next to Rainbow Dash, who put a wing over her withers and guided her to the edge of the cloud. “Now, we’re not going to do anything scary. I just want you to feel the wind under your wings. Get used to the sky and all that.”

A tremble ran through Rarity’s frame but she stayed in place, staring out across Equestria far below.

“Okay, now spread your wings.” Rainbow Dash stepped smarty back as Rarity’s wings unfurled. “Close your eyes and just picture yourself in the air.”

For a long moment the two alicorns stood there, the wind playing through their hair.

“You know,” Rarity began, letting out a little sigh. “This isn’t so bad.”

“Good, hold that thought.” Rainbow Dash reared up and brought her forehooves down on the cloud with a solid wumph. To its credit, the cloud held up for a full second before the blast of pegasus magic tore half of the small platform to shreds. Rainbow Dash was ready, with her wings out, to catch herself in place. Rarity dropped like a rock.

“Argh! You– I’ll get you for this Rainbow Dash!”

“And... she’s not holding her wings out,” Rainbow muttered to herself, watching Rarity plummet. “Jeeze, this is going to take a while.”

Rolling her eyes she shot after Rarity. Again.

Author's Note

And that's another chapter done! Funnily enough this one was one of the scenes that made me want to write Alicornitus, that didn't make it any easier but what can you do?

This chapter is also the end of what I'd tentatively call the prologue. It's always been my intention to treat Alicornitus more as a series of episodes rather than a single unbroken narrative, so from here out chapters should start becoming closer to self contained stories. Chapter 7 is already underway and its Fluttershy's, give a shout out in the comments for who you'd like to see in Chapter 8 and join me next time when Fluttershy gets groupies. :fluttershyouch:

Also, side note. A couple of my regular editors have been really busy recently, if anyone would like to become a pre-reader on this story, drop me a line and I'll put you on the list.