Because She Can

by Erisn

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Sad, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 9386

"I believe she fell shortly before my two thousandth birthday."

Season 5 Spoilers

In a place beyond time itself Celestia, Chrysalis, and Discord play games with the fates of mortals. But why? And what could have caused such games to come about?

Only one being knows the full answer. Luna, witness to her sister's fall. She alone has lived countless lives as her sister remakes the world time and time again.

Her tale is tragedy, her suffering endless. But she must remember, for is both arbiter and victim of her sister's crime. So she tells her tale again.

Published 2016-04-14 20:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-14 20:00:01 UTC

As You Gaze Upwards...

I believe she fell shortly before my two thousandth birthday. In truth, she may have fallen long before that, but I like to believe she was pure and true right up until the end.

Make no mistake; I do not condone her actions nor her reasoning. But though she has wronged me countless times and in countless ways, she will always remain my sister. And sisters forgive each other even the gravest of sins.

Ah, and who art my sister I suppose you ask? Better to answer that later. It is a foalish thing, but I wish not to sully the memory of the sister I knew by naming the monster she has become. Rather, let me name myself.

I am Luna, Bearer of the Moon and Princess of Equestria. Once I was simply Luna, and in time I would be given many names, Nightmare Moon among them. Regardless of the titles others give me though, I have always been Luna, one of the two royal sister that brought ponies out of the time of Chaos and into the modern age.

But betimes I forget myself. I spoke of my sister’s fall. It was so quick a thing, and it caught me unawares. Still, the seeds must have been planted centuries ago as my sister and I struggled to bring order to Equestria.

We are a duality, she and I. Some in the past have called us a mirror of each other but that is an incomplete truth. We are opposites in many respects, but it would be a lie to say that we completely reflect each other. Many values we share in kind, my sister and I. But in other respects we do differ. Alas, we do.

This split I find most easy to explain by the Elements of Harmony. These magical qualities are so named for the power they represent – six different facets of harmony, a force that transcends conventional magic. I understand it little even after so long, yet I know bits.

Such as the Elements. They are Honesty, Laughter, Loyalty, Generosity, Kindness, and Magic respectively. Once, long ago I utilized them with my sister. We two were the bearers of the six Elements.

I carried Loyalty with me, walked with Honesty by my side, and danced with Laughter as the days and night whiled by. To my sister then were the heavier burdens of Kindness, Generosity, and Magic assigned. I fear that more than anything was the cause of her fall.

For while we both occupied our spheres of day and night, and while it is true that I of the two of us was more lonely as my subjects slumbered, I was free to laugh and play among the dreaming world as I chose. Honesty was a blessing for me; I could rage when I was upset, cry when I tired, and express myself freely and without fear. But my sister was the elder, and the burdens of ruling weighed far heaver on her.

Kindness and Generosity are no easy mantles to carry, and they are made doubly heavy by the power my sister wields. As the stronger of the two of us both in age and spellcraft, I have no doubt her power alienated her from her subjects. Thus, while I could only talk to a few of my subjects with each night, I made true and close friends, but my sister’s station and power kept her aloof from our people even though she occupied their days. Doubtless if we had traded places over the centuries, this might never have come to pass.

Yet it was a slow decline, and one I was blissfully ignorant of. Concerned as I was with the governing of Equestria and formation of things such as government and the foundations of civilization, I ignored my sister’s situation. For her part I suspect she kept it all bottled within. Lacking honesty, the pain in her heart festered until it burst forth.

So it was that in the year 1576 A.D., or After Discord as ponies record such things, my sister approached me on my birthday to tell me of her plan. In my private room in Canterlot Castle she approached me and offered me the power to control all things.

I refused.

In truth, our conversation escapes my memory at times. It was been so long that the details have faded, but I remember the important bits.

She approaches me as the noonlight fades. She congratulates me on my birthday. I make a joke about growing old. Then she asks me about our purpose.

I tell her that we are here to bring order to Equestria, to lead our peoples and raise and lower the sun. She disagrees. She tells me that our existence, our purpose – even our Cutie Marks is a lie. We have no greater purpose, and our existence is a cruel joke played upon us by the world. She tells me that we have the power to obtain all we wish, and offers me it.

I refuse. I call her mad, and tell her that ours is not to rule, only to lead. She laughs, and tell me that I am blind.

We argue. Words become threats. Threats become promises. One last time she offers me true immortality and all I desire. I tell her the cost is too high. She bows her head.

Then she smiles.

As the dawn broke upon Equestria, my subjects rose to the sounds of battle. My sister and I rose from the Canterlot Palace casting spells that blasted pieces out of the city and sundered both ground and sky.

In fear they watched us duel, uncertain of the cause of who was victim and attacker. But though we fought with equal ferocity I refused to let my spells touch other ponies. My sister’s spells on the other hand tore through both masonry and ponyfolk alike. Many ponies died in the wake of our battle, I helpless to stop them, my sister indifferent.

And at the last I fell before my sister. She approaches me as I ask her to reconsider. For mercy. She laughs again and tells me this is all a game. Her horn glows with a final spell.

Ponies attack her. Our loyal subjects charge my sister. She curses them and burns them to ash. But she retreats. She is too weak from our battle.

I am left alone with the dead and destruction around me. Canterlot is in ruins. I am in tears.

We rebuild what can be rebuilt, and bury the bodies. I raise both sun and moon to mark the passing of the hours. But though the grieving come to me, I have no words to explain to them. All I know is that my sister is gone, and so too is my heart.

Harmony is broken. And so too am I. Laughter is gone from my heart, and though I am Honesty and Loyal as I can to my subjects, they miss their princess of the sun, and bear the scars of her departure. But we endure and continue onwards somehow.

The years pass. I rule as best I am able, raising both sun and moon upon my subjects while they go about their daily lives. I am bitterly alone though, and weep for my sister’s betrayal and absence. Yet the day comes when she returns.

It first comes as the sun rises high into the sky and shines brighter than ever before. Harsh light spills down upon my bewildered subjects and I, and we see a shining figure descend from above. My sister appears in radiance and terror, burning those around her as she laughs for the joy of slaughter.

She named herself Solar Flare and brought legions of ponies against Equestria. Where they had come from I know not, but these pale, twisted creatures were mockeries of true ponies. I greatly fear that they were the twisted citizens of the Crystal Empire and indeed, I witnessed Sombra himself upon the field, a raging monster corrupted by dark magic. With them my sister cut a burning swathe across the unprepared lands of Equestria.

My people and I were forced to abandon Canterlot, the shimmering towers burning as my sister’s armies drove across the land. From there we retreated to the fledgling Manehatten, and then back, back further, past Fillydelphia, past Appleloosa, until we were forced up against the Everfree, in a small village named Ponyville. It is there we made our last stand.

I led the Royal Guard and remnants of our army against Celestia’s forces, fighting against Sombra and her host. We were outnumbered four to one, as for every pony that fell my sister’s magics would twist them into a new enemy to fight. They forced us back into the village, fighting, falling. Dying.

Yet on that day Ponyville did not fall. Despite our casualties we forced the armies back. I slew Sombra in a single combat and promised him vengeance as he fell. Leaderless, the enemy withdrew and allowed us a moment’s reprieve. Not for long. My sister had not taken part in that battle, but she would arrive soon enough, with an even greater host to lay waste to us all. So my ponies and I waited for the end.

But all was not lost.

Even as my sister marched upon us once more, our beleaguered forces found allies appear at our backs. The Diamond Dogs tunneled out of the earth, led by the seven Dog Lords, armed for war. With them we forced my sister back! Though the price was high and the death countless, hope had not yet died.

One by one, the free lands rose. From the burning east the dragons flew in the Last Migration, led by the three Dragon Kings. In their wisdom and might they opposed my sister, burning her forces from the skies.

And nine, nine other nations came to our aid. From beyond the seas the mighty Minotaur and wise Zebra came to our call. The mules and horse peoples rode at our side, and both Reindeer and Centaur put aside their century-long feud to fight with us. The proud Griffons, the beautiful Sirens, and even the courageous and tiny Breezies pledged their aid. With them we fought for the freedom of Equestria.

Yet my sister’s power was vast. Her magic was superior to every other race’s, and her armies grew with the fallen. Though Sombra had fallen, her corruption of the Crystal Empire had also yielded her an artifact of great power.

The Crystal Heart.

Once a shining beacon of hope and peace, my sister broke it and reforged it into a device of cruelty and tyranny to control all others. Into it she poured all her malice, all her hatred and rage. One alicorn to rule them all.

But we resisted! Even as her armies poured across the free lands, a last alliance marched on The Crystal Empire and there we fought my sister for the freedom of Equestria.

Never before or since have I witnessed a battle of such magnitude. Dragons fell from the sky battling their twisted brethren, Diamond Dogs split the earth as Minotaurs rampaged across the enemy lines their flanks guarded by ponies as the skies were won back by Griffons. We forced the enemy back despite their numbers. Victory was near.

But the power of my sister could not be undone.

Even as her armies fell around her my sister destroyed those around her with dark magics, slaying all who would approach her. Even the might of the Dragon Kings failed against her, and they fell from the skies never to fly again. All seemed lost.

And so it was that I challenged my sister to single combat, though I knew my fate could end in naught but death. She taunted me as we rose in the scorched sky and fought with spell and hoof. She told me my victory would be meaningless, but I ignored her and struck a killing blow by luck.

She fell, laughing and the ground itself burned where she died. My sister was defeated.

Hope had prevailed.

The rebuilding of the world is a process that takes decades to even begin. Each nation is torn by war and their peoples are weary. Yet the bonds forged between races is not so easily broken, and all give what they may to help each nation rebuild. It is a wonderful time, as friendship and hope beat back the prejudices of species. I rejoice as Equestria rises anew, and my people flourish.

A millennia passes in the blink of an eye. I rule Equestria more as a mentor than actual queen, guiding my subjects away from petty conflicts and urging peace instead of war. That is not to say there is not conflict, but they are short wars and always mended by time and talk. But as each species advances in age and maturity, my role diminishes with every year to my growing delight.

I begin to take walks among my people as a ruling body is established to take some of the burdens of leadership off my wings. I get to know many ponies across Equestria and in time…find one who I may spend my days with. We marry after several years of courtship, and the ceremony is attended by every nation in the world. If I may say it, not a party has been thrown before or since.

I have children. Though in time my husband passes from the earth, my mourning is mitigated by the numerous offspring that is his and my legacy. Under my care as a mother – a task far more terrifying and rewarding than my rule as princess – they grow and multiply.

More centuries pass, but I count them by years, relishing each one. Despite my age I continue my duties, until nearly two thousand years after my sister’s demise I find myself unable to even get out of bed. I realize then that my time is over, that even my immortal blood has run thin. I am not ashamed though, but happy for the life I have led.

As I lay in my bed surrounded by my grieving children and subjects, I could still smile. Young Celestia, my great great grand-daughter wept to see her beloved “Granny Moon” lying there. She was the spitting image of my sister, and her existence was part redemption for my soul.

My great grandson Crescent Wing took my crown and throne and swore to uphold the laws I had set. I left my kingdom in his hooves, and in the knowledge that my people would suffer no tyrant in the future. And though my sister stood ever in my mind, I could smile as my last breath came among those I loved and was a beloved by.

I closed my eyes.

And awoke in my bed four thousand years hence, staring at my sister. She laughed, and the nightmare resumed as if it had never stopped.

I get to my hooves, head spinning. I want to shout, to attack her or say I’m dreaming. But that is only part of me. The other part wishes to sing and dance and cry for my sister is alive.

But my joy fades as she tells me how she is still alive. She tells me she was never dead, and that my defeat of her those thousands of years ago was no more than an illusion. For what she offered me that day was to transcend death, to transcend fate itself. For she has achieved a magic that I could not dream of.

Time travel. The ability to reshape the world through her magic. The very definition of unlimited power not mere dirt magic or Starswirl’s flawed spells. The power that only a being as powerful as an alicorn could wield.

Immortality, she tells me, is a blessing and a curse.

I want to disbelieve her. I want to say she’s lying. But I cannot. The truth is in front of me.

Trembling, I ask what she will do. She laughs and tells me that she will destroy and pillage, uplift and educate, burn and murder. Whatever strikes her fancy is within her hooves, and for her enjoyment, the world is her plaything.

And then she tells me that she witnessed the world I built in her absence. As I enjoyed my golden years she watched from beyond time itself, idly taking amusement in my dreams and the kingdom I build. But now it is gone, forevermore and only my memory of that time shall remain.

It is then I snap. I demand she bring my people back to me. Laughing, she tells me they are here. Then she blasts me from the castle and summons the guard.

As the dawn broke upon Equestria, my subjects rose to the sounds of battle. My sister falls from the sky wounded as I emerge, the treasonous sister attempting to remove her from the throne. The royal guard rallies and protects my sister. I am forced to flee as my subjects turn upon me.

Exiled. Condemned. My Lunar Guard hounded me as I flew east, forced to strike them down even as I fled. I had no idea what had happened, nor how my sister had caused any of it. I simply flew onwards, in fear and terror.

I made my home among the Zebra, far across the seas. They welcomed me without question, offering sanctuary to the wounded, haunted traveler. My battered form had scarce landed among their village when they came to me, offering balms for my wounds and solace for my broken heart. Once they learned my identity they threw countless celebrations in my honor and welcomed me as an honored guest into their herd. Truly, I had never been made so welcome even among my own kind.

The wise leaders of the Zebra visited me even as I recuperated, and I told them all I knew. Though they were dismayed to hear of my sister’s fall, they believed my words and offered me sanctuary and assistance without reservation.

Long did the wisest of the Zebra debate my dire news, but they could offer me only their counsel. The magic of Zebras runs deep, but it is not as purely powerful as those of unicorns or alicorns. Their magic comes from the world like that of Earth Ponies, although if I may say it, Zebras understand far more of that power than their smaller pony cousins.

But it would be wrong to say that they were unsure of what to do in the face of such dangers as my sister presented. On the contrary, the Zebra elders and wise folk counseled me to let my sister’s madness run her course. They spoke of her neglect, both my hoof and other’s. They cautioned me to wait and return once time had passed for the both of us. I found this advice good, and made my home among the Zebra and learned their customs and ways.

They gave me a new name: Kalburhandar, Dancer of Stars. Through ritual and time I became a full member of their tribe; a pony no longer, but rather a zebra with wings and horn. I dare to say that I even found love among their tribes. It was a romance that captured my unwilling heart, but I have always loved as thou wilt. And so once more I was happy. I believe that my sister had forgotten about me, and that I could live this far away from her as she continued her madness in Equestria.

What a fool I was.

My sister left me in peace for six years. Then, at the dawning on the Summer Solstice she brought her armies across the ocean. Legions of earth ponies disembarked from black ships while flights of pegasi blotted out the skies. The magic of unicorns burned fiery condemnations across the sky, labelling me as traitor as my sister’s army came for me.

I would have gone with them. Twisted as they were by hate, I could not bring myself to fight my people. But I was not alone.

My herd rallied around me even as the foreigners invaded their lands. Though they knew that handing me over might well have ended the conflict they would never dream of abandoning their friend. The Zebra gathered, and began to repel my sister’s armies. Faced with such nobility, I could not simply roll over and accept my fate. I led them in battle.

The ponies were endless. At the time I knew not how my sister had raised such an incredible host in a mere few years. Now, knowing more of the power she wields I can well understand how she might have manipulated time to create enough soldiers and such a temperament in our people. But regardless, her army was numerous and deadly. They spared no mercy against the Zebra and burned the earth where they marched.

So vicious was our enemy it would have been natural to roll over. But the Zebra make up for their fewer numbers with the wisdom ponies often lack. Through their connection with other species they had make peace with the other creatures of the savanna plains and even further afield, the empires of Minos. Both animal and Minotaur came to the Zebra’s aid and that was enough to push back the ponies.

For a time.

But the sheer weight of numbers made outright battle impossible. I was forced to lead ambushes, night attacks, guerrilla raids upon my sister’s forces, chipping down their numbers with the few warriors I had. And meanwhile her armies sallied forth and laid waste to any settlements they encountered.

In the end the outcome was inevitable. Though her soldiers paid dearly for each step they took, they razed the grasslands of life, destroying the Zebra’s homes and burning the Empire of Minos to the ground. Deprived of their allies and starving without the fauna of their homeland to feed on, my adopted people and I were forced to surrender.

I was brought in chains to Canterlot as thousands of ponies turned out at every crossing to shout and hurl stones at my passing. The hatred in their eyes and hearts was unknown to me, and I looked upon these ponies as strangers, corrupted by my sister’s evil.

And it was my sister I was delivered to in the end, bound in chains and humbled. She laughed as I begged her to spare those who had sheltered me, and ordered me locked away while the Zebra were declared enemies of the state. They to be hounded by ponies so long as they lived, treated as less than insects. So did I realize the depths of my sister’s darkness.

She kept me as a warning and as amusement. My horn locked with sealing magic, my every action watched by her newly-formed Solar Guard. I was her pet, her slave to be paraded around the Sun Court or tormented at her leisure. To the ponies of Equestria, I was a leashed monster and afforded no respect or pity on their parts either.

Time passed. Decades went by as my humiliations continued, until the day I was brought to the Sun Court. My sister had me watch as an elderly Zebra was led in, old, frail. The last of her kind.

My sister brought her forth and had her dance in a ring of spears. I, held captive was helpless, forced to watch the frail, noble creature shuffle among pointed metal. When she stumbled the ponies pressed her, drawing blood. In the end I believe she stopped dancing of her own will, not exhaustion.

She stands noble and bloodstained before my sister and defies her. I see my sister’s mouth curl upwards, her gleeful smile. She orders her guards and they stab forwards. From such things does my heart ever break.

I took my own life as the last of the Zebra fell. I hurled myself against the spears of the Solar Guard and struck at my sister with magic even as I died. When I awoke again, it was despair I saw before me.

My sister sat in the center of Canterlot, yet it was not ponies who attended her court, but Zebras. They were the only species in Equestria, and while they adored my sister and worshiped her as their goddess I was despised and hated.

I finally understand the terrible cruelty of my sister’s power. She may remake thought or flesh at her whim, and whatever is built by mortal hooves is just as easily erased or remade in her image. Faced with such madness, I weep.

She offered me a choice. Either struggle against her and suffer, or bow to her and make what small changes I could in her worlds. Though it pained me to do so, I chose the latter.

The world filled with Zebras lasts only a short few years. My sister manipulates them, spreading lies and rumors throughout the capital of my evil nature. The day quickly comes when they come for my head, and I die ripped apart by a mob.

She brings me back, of course. The next lifetime sees me as an impoverished pony, a useless alicorn in a world where every pony is alicorn. That lasts until my sister orchestrates a civil war. I survive it, but am unmade for the next world.

In my next life, my sister recreates the battles fought against her, but instead of the unified races banding together to oppose her, we are splintered by suspicion and traitors on every side. Her armies overwhelm us, and I die at Sombra’s hooves.

I die, and am reborn. I play my role, attempting to counter my sister’s manipulations and bring as much joy and happiness to those around me as possible. Sometimes I succeed. More than often I fail and hear my sister’s laughter as I die.

I tried to resist. I fought against her control, refusing to play my part or telling other ponies about her power. They either ignore me or believe and suffer for it. My sister punishes me for breaking my roles.

I go numb to it all. I try to simply give up and become lifeless, hoping my sister will abandon me if I no longer respond. But she requires an audience for her play, and besides which, I am her greatest toy. Though my mind is shattered, she brings me back. It is a…unpleasant experience. I try no such tricks again, and humbly act the parts she sets me.

So passed my torment, until the day I glimpsed a pony attending the Sun Court. What life I was leading I forget. I merely remember seeing her face as she approaches my sister’s throne. I catch a glimpse of yellowish fur, purple-red-amaranth mane, and dark purple eyes, the color of the night sky.

Moondancer.

I stare, but my daughter walks past me without recognition in her eyes. I stop her, and beg to know how she is come here. She stares at me, a little afraid, and I realize the truth.

My sister’s laughter rings in my ears. She cavorts on her throne as I gape at my daughter. Too slowly I dawn upon the truth. She, like myself is simply another pawn, easily plucked from time for my sister to use as she pleases.

The knowledge breaks me. But it also fans the embers in my heart, and pure rage eclipses my beaten soul and sends me to strike against my sister. Contemptuously she cuts me down with a single spell even as my daughter watches.

I awake in my bed with my sister watching me. By her side is Moondancer, her beloved daughter. This time my spell burns her face off, but she simply reverses time and I am undone.

Revive. Live again. She brought me back as a cripple, lacking horn or wings. I fought her with my hooves. She won of course.

I awoke in chains then next time. I escaped my bonds and assaulted her during her daily audiences.

Another life. This time she took away my limbs. I tried to bite her until she had me imprisoned.

Though I languished in my dark cell for five long years, the instant she released me I sought her life once more. She put me back inside that dark place for ten more years, without light or food. I cared not.

Again she released me, again I attacked. After, she reduced me to…I cannot say. All I know is that I was thought and hearing, but naught else. Sight had been deprived me, as had touch or smell or taste. But I could hear her and speak.

So I cursed her. I cursed her name and all that she was. I cursed her until I died. And though she punished me for it, my rage continued.

Forever.

I confess I went mad during that time. I had thought I knew the depths of insanity in my despair – but that was nothing to the burning fury that consumed my soul. In every lifetime, in every new timeline my sister created I fought her.

With spell, with horn or hoof. With words or deed I strove for my sister’s destruction. At first I believe she enjoyed it, and she made worlds with which to let us do battle. But I ignored the armies she gave me and flew or ran or crawled towards her until I perished.

She grew tired of it passing quick. Within a few lives she had ceased attempting to reason with me or punish me, and instead cast me as the villain in every new timeline. But my refusal to play along with her carefully orchestrated worlds frustrated her.

The time came when she imprisoned me as soon as I awoke. Yet even then I believe the knowledge of my presence tugged at her mind even as she played with the lives of others. Occasionally she would visit me in my various cells, attempting to reason with me, calm my fury. Needless to say, she failed.

But that was not the only issue my enduring rage presented her. For you see, my imprisonment was always a temporary measure, and could not keep me from seeking her death for more than a few years at a time. The magic she used or guards my sister commanded could not hold me. Even metal rusts, and even the most attentive of minds falters. My shackles were mortal, and I was not. Not even the depths of Tartarus could hold me for long, and I overcame even the greatest of jailors she set against me. Every time, in every new world I would escape and come after my sister with a vengeance. It ruined many of her carefully built worlds.

Why she didn’t simply destroy me I know not. I believe even now that she could not – at least not outright. That she could kill me again and again was one thing, but we are still sisters. To destroy my existence however impermanently and then bring me back…perhaps even my sister feared whether my soul would remain after such an act. I am ancient as she is, and at the very least the memories of countless millennia might be lost in a moment.

But I was a nuisance to her great fun, and so my sister found a way to eliminated me yet keep me close by in every lifetime. She imprisoned me in the moon itself.

For eight generations she and the greatest of unicorn sorcerers labored upon the spell. Starswirled, Meadowbrook, Clover…she brought them to life and had them work without cease to create the ultimate of prisons for me. At last they finished it, and Celestia used it to put me in that place I have known for so long.

The moon.

In truth, the spell bound my essence, my very nature into the moon and the heavens themselves. Though they are my domain, the working erased my physical form and made me one with the sky. When I am thus imprisoned, I can sense Equestria beneath me and even some of the events, but my consciousness is far removed from what mortals know as actual thought. Rather, I simply drift through time and space feeling my sister’s work beneath me until she brings me back.

Yes, what made the spell so complex was that last part. At an moment, at any time I may be returned to earth and my physical body resumed. My sister insisted upon it and little wonder lest she lose her greatest toy. But through this spell she regained control of me, for even my rage quieted against the silence of the stars.

I could not remain angry as I was imprisoned in the moon for untold millennia, and when my sister did release me each time, I was too grateful for my freedom to strike against her at once. I loved to feel alive, to touch the ground beneath my hooves and stretch my wings. Such simple wonders made the empty void and half-understandings of my prison all the worse.

So things resumed, or at least, my rage against my sister ceased. From my imprisonment I was named Nightmare Moon, and from then onward often played her role, that of the dark tyrant opposing my sister's light. And though I never could bear to look at my offspring in the eye, I did manage to conceal my fury and nausea and treat them as strangers in my many reincarnations. Though even now, I weep in my heart to see my beloved Moondancer…

Time passed. I changed lives many times. First I am a jester in the Court of Laughs, a witless clown. Then I am a filly, starving and alone, saved by the wondrous Celestia who delivers presents to ponies all across an every wintry Equestria. Next I become a soldier, fighting with my sister in a war against the Minotaurs. We survive and are promoted many times, but I fall in battle after my forces are overwhelmed.

More lives, more scenarios to enact. As time passes my sister becomes crueler, more depraved in her creations. She forays into darker magic’s and creates abominations to battle, encourages her subjects to begin acts of deep depravity. I am included in such things, and the memories scar me. But she relishes all of it, indulging in each twisted fantasy until she bores even of that.

The wheel of rebirth turns, and ages come to pass, leaving only memories upon my soul.

I think she grew bored of her remaking of worlds. The time came when she spent a single lifetime torturing me and every pony in her kingdom, manipulating our minds, forcing us to entertain her by our misery. She kept all of us alive through potion and spells for hundreds of years until she bored of it all again and wiped us out by meteor. Though it was one life among many, I still shudder to remember those days of endless pain.

When I awoke the next time I did not rage against my sister, nor challenge her to combat. Instead I fell to the ground and begged for mercy. She observed my prostrate form with amusement, and heard my pleas to let my soul go free, or at the very least, let me not suffer in another hellish lifetime. I wait for her laughter, but it never comes.

Instead, I feel a warm hoof on my shoulders, and feel her drawing me up. My sister embraces me, and tells me that she agrees to my request. In disbelief, I wait for her to destroy me in agony or reveal her trick, but instead she brings back the Equestria I remember. Down to the smallest detail, every pony is the same, all events are back in their proper place. My sister returns to her rule as though nothing has happened and, disbelieving but hopeful, I do the same.

I await the sudden attack of another nation, or the mysterious plague with baited breath as each day passes. But none such comes, or at least, none not manufactured by the natural order of fate and chance. My sister rules as she has always has done – no, even more wisely and graciously than before. She is the pony she once was, kind, generous, and full of love for all. She rules, and I dare to dream my nightmare is over.

And Equestria enters into an era of peace and prosperity beyond my wildest dreams!

Though many eons have passed, I remain the same pony I once was. I lack the words to describe the world around me and may only use paltry language to describe what I recall. And so I cannot bring to words the difference between Equestria now and what it once was.

Perhaps it is easiest to say that for all its accomplishments, for all I loved the Equestria I knew before my sister’s fall, it is nothing like the Equestria of today. All the paved roads, the advancements of magic and technology to allow for plumbing, controlled weather, even the infrastructure of commerce and business as it exists today…that was all a result of my sister’s years of peace.

Yes, she brought peace to Equestria. In my next lifetime I awoke to find the world as it had been before my sister changed everything. And though I feared a trick, my sister played none. Instead of destroying Equestria she set out to improve it.

Sciences were encouraged, as was education. Every pony was fed, every pony was cared for. Where once we had struggled to feed ourselves, my sister introduced new technologies, taught ponies how to organize themselves, and made peace with every other nation on the planet. Within a generation she had abolished our standing army; within the next no pony would ever die of unnatural causes. And the reign of prosperity only continued from there!

The cities of Manehatten, Appleloosa, Fillydelphia, and of course Canterlot grew to become hubs of Equestria. Ponies spread across the land, and we became friends of all, the trading partners of the world that other races aspired to deal with. Though we had been content and happy before, in this time we prospered.

And though I feared my sister’s enjoyment would lapse, she seemed to regard the prosperity of Equestria as a challenge. No creature could go unhappy, no squabble could occur but that she would fix it. Through her magic and ability to control time she orchestrated the most perfect world imaginable. It was beautiful, unreal. In time even my ability to raise the moon was replaced by technology and magic so that I found myself useless. I minded not, and instead relished the peace and prosperity of this dream so long as it lasted.

Equestria was at peace. I was happy.

It was then that she appeared.

Chrysalis.

How many chance alterations to the timeline had to be made to result in creatures as wretched as the changelings? It seems inconceivable that they could have been born of ponies, but their resemblance to our kind is proof enough. Over the long era of peace they evolved, in swamplands and dark caverns to become the predators of ponykind. And leading them was Queen Chrysalis, most devastating and ruthless of the Swarm.

They attacked Equestria in a single night of carnage. Every major city burned as changeling infiltrators revealed themselves and spread chaos and destruction. Chrysalis herself led the attack on Canterlot, leading a million changelings against the defenseless inhabitants. Too many centuries of peace had reduced our standing army to nothing, and not a single pony with a warrior’s cutie mark existed in the entire city.

Save for me, of course.

I threw back the tides of changeling by myself, giving time for the civilians to flee. But peace had dulled my wits as well, and I was one against countless numbers. I fell, and Chrysalis ate me in the Canterlot throne room.

When I awoke next, Chrysalis was standing in Canterlot, devoid of her changelings facing my sister.

I confess I quite enjoyed the outraged shock on Chrysalis’s face as she struggled to understand the situation. My sister explains to Chrysalis the nature of her power and the endless game she plays. Chrysalis rages against her, and promises my sister’s downfall.

And once again I hear it, my sister’s delighted laughter.

I have seen my sister in many temperaments over the years, but seldom had she been as full of mirth and joy as when next I revived. This time Equestria was as it was, but the changelings had also been reborn, and led by Chrysalis, they engaged in a century-long war against ponies.

I fought with my sister to repel the changelings. In time they were forced back and Chrysalis herself killed by my hoof. Yet no sooner had I struck the killing blow than the world was reset, and changelings and Chrysalis restored to wage war again. My sister had found herself the new toy she desired above all else, and in doing so, her enjoyment had reappeared.

Instead of my unwilling participation now it was Chrysalis who played the role of villain in every new timeline. With unmatched vigor she threw herself at Celestia, using the armies she was given or manipulating those around her to rally forces to destroy Equestria each time.

I am cast as a defender, and I do my part although I secretly wish for Chrysalis to win and destroy my sister. More than once I switch sides and fly against my sister, but win or lose, she always resets time. Death has no meaning for her, and I sense that knowledge beginning to affect Chrysalis as well. She too became lifeless, forcing my sister to rejuvenate her will through pain and…other things.

As I struggled with despair, so did Chrysalis realized the futility of her cause and eventually cease her endless battles against my sister. But where I was a puppet, unwilling to support my sister’s dark games…

I awoke after another of Chrysalis’s defeats to see two beings staring at me this time. Chrysalis and my sister sat together, both smiling. As I struggle to my hooves they begin to speak, and I understand despair once again.

Once, my sister offered me immortality. I refused, and ever since became her puppet. Even now I believe if I asked she might give it to me – were I to prove to her beyond a doubt that I shared her view of the world. But I will not ask, and nor will I ever take the poisonous drop of absolute power that is her curse. But my morality is not Chrysalis’s.

She too learned the secrets of time manipulation and world shaping. A changeling queen is not so far removed from an alicorn princess, and though her control was not as fine as my sister’s, she wielded her newfound powers with an infant’s delight. That in turn reinvigorated my sister’s drive, and the two played together with the world as their toy set with wild glee.

I remember that time most darkly. Chrysalis first took the time to remake all of Equestria in her image, using ponies as cattle, and I as her prime target for abuse. She…enjoyed my suffering for many centuries before tiring of it. My sister took part only to aid Chrysalis’s depravities and spur her on to greater depths of evil.

But even the most heinous of tortures eventually became boring to Chrysalis, though it took nearly a century of my suffering to do so. All too soon she became as bored as Celestia of her endless power, having explored every hedonistic pleasure and diversion available.

Now it was not just one immortal with unlimited power who tired of things, but two. Chrysalis and Celestia would make a new world and cast every pony just so, only to suddenly destroy everything in a moment and remake things anew. I would awaken to hear them arguing, and see Chrysalis or my sister raise their horn only to taste oblivion once more.

They squabbled, two children lashing out at their pieces since they could not battle each other. It got so that I could not but awaken in a new world before I would be unmade and remade again. I would be lying to say I enjoyed it, but the suffering I faced when both were in agreement was enough so that I relished these times of strife.

Eventually one or the other tired of the conflict, and the worlds no longer ceased to be created and dissolved so rapidly. Normality resumed, but I saw that both Chrysalis and my sister were terrible tired of the world they had built. I dared to hope they would cease their manipulations entirely and create another perfect Equestria, but it was not to be. Instead, my sister unleashed the final monster that would seal my torment forever.

Discord.

Even through all the remade timelines, all the new worlds she devised, never had my sister freed Discord from his prison. I believe she feared him, even at the apex of her power. He had ever been beyond even both our mights combined and should he have resisted her will…

But now there were two. And when she freed him, the two became three.

It was when I awoke to see not just my sister and Chrysalis, but Discord sitting together that I realized what she had done. And worse, what she had created for herself. For while her boredom was unmatched when it was only she alone who existed, and when only two supreme beings had existed brought forth only conflict, three such immortals was enough to entertain each other as much as they desired.

It was Discord who suggested the betting and my sister and Chrysalis eagerly accepted the game. Instead of squabbling over remaking the world, the three collaborated to create realities where their chosen creatures reacted to the events and calamities that they designed. In turn, the three would bet souls and nations with each other, each with their own set of objects of beings they were allowed to shape at will.

Gambling. Gambling with fate and destiny. There is a certain irony to it, that such beings resort to the most common of games to entertain themselves for eternity. But it is better than the alternatives.

With their new game, the three no longer casually destroy Equestria on a moment’s whim. Instead they carefully rear their chosen heroes and villains, pitting them against each other or instigating disasters for all to solve. My role in these worlds is also diminished. Often I am merely a supporting character or one of the countless enemies to be defeated. It is better this way, to be used and forgotten than to be the target of all three’s attention.

I am grateful to no longer be in constant suffering as I once was. But I would be lying if I said I was contented with my existence. Even now, my chains weigh heavily on my soul. Yet, day by day, I endure. And when I am in peaceful Equestrias such as the one I live in, I rejoice in the small things.

The air is brisk and clear in Equestria today. I depart the Canterlot Palace and walk through its streets, enjoying the ponies around me. They give me a wide berth. In this lifetime I am the redeemed Luna to them, once the terrifying Nightmare Moon. I wish it were not so and that I could talk to them, but I take whatever peace I may find in this day.

Something catches my eye as I proceed down through one of the plazas. A blue unicorn mare is standing upon a wooden platform, and around her a small crowd of ponies has gathered. I slow as I walk past her and see a familiar face.

Trixie the Great and Powerful. She launches a flurry of fireworks into the air as she entertains the crowd. Her long pointed hat and ridiculous cape are overly flamboyant, as is her constant self-praise and false tales of her own exploits. Yet the crowd of mainly young fillies and colts watches on, enduring Trixie’s arrogance for the spectacle of her stagecraft.

I watch for a different reason. Trixie’s weak magic does not interest me, but the mare buried within this false character does. I remember the past, and see Trixie for who she was, not who she was made to be in this lifetime.

Trixie. Acclaimed by all as the greatest and most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria. The first pony ever to defeat an Ursa Major in solo combat, in any of my lives. Such a feat I have not witnessed again. From her name legends were told. Once a hero, now a trickster and a fraud.

Trixie turns, full of her own self-worth and catches sight of me in the crowd. Her face pales, and she nearly misses her next trick. She hesitates, and I realize she fears me. As the crowd turns to see who Trixie is staring at, they too flinch back.

I leave before I can ruin their day. I walk onwards through Canterlot, but my mind is now rooted in the past. Once more I regret, but before I can continue through nostalgia I feel the world changing around me.

One second I am walking in Canterlot on a bright and sunny day, the next I stand in the middle of the Everfree forest, the night sky above me and a heavy helmet upon my head. Instinctively, I feel at my teeth and realize they are pointed. I am also taller than before, and my voice is far deeper.

It is a familiar feeling. I am playing the role of Nightmare Moon, although for what purpose I know not. But my sister and her friends have chosen me for this part and so I play it as best I may. Even if I don’t know the exact nature of my role, it is always soon apparent.

Once Twilight and her baby dragon appear I know in an instant what my role is. My heart hurts to see her – offspring of Night Light who is far descended from Crescent Wing I still call her—but I must maintain my act. I lounge on my throne and hear her speak of time-traveling magic. I understand. Another of my sister’s tests of her latest pupil.

Twilight tells me she must reach a table created by the Tree of Harmony in the Everfree Forest. She warns me about Timberwolves guarding it – doubtless why she was forced to come here to confront me. I play my role, laughing, and guide her to her destination.

The Timberwolves are poor creatures. Once noble guardian spirits of the forest, my sister made them into their pathetic, vengeful selves. I blast them away and clear a path to the table. Such a strange thing it is! I have seen it in precious few of my lives – it is a creation of the Tree of Harmony that appears only when certain conditions are met. I believe my sister knows just as little about it as I, for she is reluctant to let it grow.

But Twilight Sparkle has achieved the understanding of Friendship and so she is worthy of using it. And it is powerful – enough so that it may persist despite effects of time travel. When the three remake this world, they will have to burn the Tree of Harmony to the ground to remove its influence. I have seen it before and the memory will haunt me.

But for now, I play my part. I bring Twilight to the table and gloat of my success and desires to conquer the other timelines. I let her speak – aim carefully. She teleports away from my spell and reclaims her baby dragon. Spike? I forget.

Twilight activates the time travel spell and disappears as the portal sucks her away. I study the runes. It’s Starswirl’s work without a doubt, but somepony has altered it, corrected his errors to create true time change. I do not recognize the craft. Doubtless some new pony my sister has brought into existence. I wonder in which lifetime I shall meet them.

I scream as Twilight disappears. One last bit of theatrics my sister insists upon. The act must be complete, and if I fail my charge and ruin the game the consequences are…painful.

But my heart is with Twilight this time. I recognize the patterns in my sister’s plot. Perhaps it is Chrysalis or Discord who suggested it, but it is my sister’s story at its heart. The evil villain, the reforming hero. Twilight must find out how to defeat her enemy who alters the time stream.

If she fails, this timeline ends and my sister and her friends recreate the world anew. But she will not fail. This Twilight is brash, unskilled in many respects, so young. But she will succeed. And as she grows, perhaps she too will understand the game that is played with the fates of all.

I wonder what she will think of me should she succeed. She will remember my performance as Nightmare Moon, even though she understands that it is Luna she meets in her timeline. But will she still fear me? Part of me hopes she will. For if she is to grow, she must know evil, and if that is the part I play, I must play it well.

Twilight, dear Twilight. Would that I had the ability to speak with you frankly. But my wish will never come true. But for the moment, in this time, in this fragile world, I wish for you to succeed. Though the world will be remade with your passing, let you live long and well. To help you grow and pass my sister’s tests, I will play any villain to teach you the lessons you need to learn.

Go forth. Go forth young child of light and night. Go and learn from me what is evil, and believe you are doing good. And be happy, so long as they permit. I will be your nightmare, and they will be the light. And though it is my fate to suffer, yours is to thrive. For so long as we live our countless lives, so long as they play games and do not watch closely, a chance remains.

She vanishes, and I let my head lower, my wings fall. My loyal guards, the twisted mockeries of my Lunar Guard stare at me, confused. It matters not. We will all be gone soon enough.

Even as I think it, I can feel the magic beginning to unmake my flesh. It is a familiar feeling, a terrible gnawing at my soul. My consciousness vanishes, but for a brief instant I remain intact, my soul or whatever part of me remains throughout my mortal shell’s passing still present in the world. I remember everything.

Who am I you ask? I wonder that myself some nights. My sister still holds my soul, and my fate is to be broken again and again in her countless worlds, for her idle games and enjoyment. But I remain who I am.

I am Luna.

I am Nightmare Moon.

I am a Kalburhandar, Dancer of Stars.

I am a filly, waiting for my big sister to love me once more.

I am ten thousand lives, each one unique.

I am Honesty, Loyalty, and Laughter.

I am the stars in the night sky.

I am the moon.

So as you gaze up into the night sky my children, know that I am still up there. Imprisoned. But so long as you live I will shine down upon you all, playing my part. With kindness and cruelty, with fear and love.

I am there for you.

And one day, I will be free.