Ponyville Pawn Stars

by TimidWolf

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Derpy Hooves, Crossover
Length: 65701

You never know what's going to trot through the door of the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop...

For years, Cash Money and his sire Old Money have owned and operated the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop, the only pawn and loan shop in Ponyville. Together with Cash's colt Big Hoss and new hire Derpy Hooves, they buy and sell things of every variety from all over Equestria as well as issue pawn loans to ponies in need. UPDATE: Episode 7: The Silver Saddle crew is back! Business is booming at the shop and the pawnbrokers have become household names, but they still have stiff competition in town. Filthy Rich drops by to ruffle Old Money's mane over an upcoming benefit auction that could make or break their annual profit. Big Hoss has been working his hooves to the bone with repeatedly working the night shift and promoting the family business. Can Cash keep the affairs of his father and son in check while buying a piece of royal history? Also, Hoss digs his hooves in the dirt when a contractor brings in some construction equipment that has seen better days. It shapes up to be a busy day - and night - for the profiteers of Ponyville.

Published 2012-06-16 16:24:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-30 22:27:17 UTC

Episode 1: Pilot

As the tired earth pony trotted down the hall of the television studio toward the executive's office, his knees began to feel weak again. He brokered a lot of deals and sold lots of merchandise in his time, but this was the first time he ever tried to sell himself.

The stallion stopped at the office door to catch his breath and wipe the sweat off his brow. With his slightly heavyset build, pale yellow hide and almost no mane to speak of, he didn't look like a slick television producer. He was a pawnbroker, but he was a bucking good one. If there were anything he wanted to buy or sell bad enough, he could do it and end up with sacks and sacks of bits at the end of the day.

Now he was about to make the biggest pitch of his career, nay, his life. He took in a deep breath, knocked on the front door and hoped the editors did a good job on the video in his saddlebag.

"Come in," a voice sounded on the other side of the door.

The stallion pushed the door open with one hoof and greeted the waiting executives. "Mornin', gentlecolts."

"Good morning, Cash," said the executive unicorn behind the oak desk in the office. Two other unicorns flanked either side of the desk and seemed to make the sitting stallion all the more imposing, and the wall of television monitors behind them made the sight even more magnanimous. "Please, take a seat, rest your hooves." He motioned to a plush chair in front of the desk.

Cash shut the door behind him, walked up and sat before the unicorns, who all wore black suit jackets with slim neckties. He realized he was still wearing his black shirt from the shop and felt a little self-conscious. Normally he wouldn't have showed up for this appointment dressed down, but he had met with these ponies so often he didn't give his attire a second thought.

"Ready?" the exec at the desk asked.

"I've been ready," Cash said before put his nose into his saddlebag. He gingerly pulled out a videotape between his teeth and set it down upon the desk. "There it is: all my hopes and dreams on one tape."

"You know, Cash," the exec said as he leaned forward and gave the tape a couple soft taps with a hoof. "If your pilot here is half as good as your pitches have been, then I think you may have a future with this network."

Cash flashed a confident grin. "That's good to hear, sir. And I think from here on in we'll just let the footage speak for itself. Shall we?" he said as he motioned to one of the monitors behind the desk.

"Certainly." The unicorn levitated the tape and guided it into a player in the wall behind him. As the video began to play, one of the monitors displayed some brief static, then a black screen.

I hope you guys kept Derpy out of the editing room like I asked, Cash thought to himself as a set of color bars came onscreen.

The bars flashed into a picture of a line rotating around a circle, with numbers that counted back from 5...4...3...2...

Here goes nothin'...

The television came to life as a guitar started playing a hard-rock lick over shots of Cash putting pieces of jewelry on display in his shop. A voice-over by Cash narrated the introduction:

**********

I'm Cash Money, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my sire, Old Money; and my colt, Big Hoss.

Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned in all my years in Ponyville, is that you never know what is going to trot through that door.

This is Ponyville Pawn Stars.

The next scene was a wide shot of Ponyville, which soon zoomed in on a large thatch-roofed building. A sign hung off of the building that displayed three circles, each attached with lines that connected to one line which dangled the shapes. The camera then went inside the shop, where ponies of all sorts milled about and admired the collection of merchandise on display: wall art, statues, jewelry, books, and even farming equipment. Everything seemed to be in a state of organized clutter with wall shelves, display cases and floor spaces packed with curiosities.

As the visual tour continued Cash's voice picked up the narration again:

This is Ponyville's own Silver Saddle Pawn Shop. My dad set this place up way back before anypony can remember, back when this town was little more than apple orchards and a few shacks. He built this place from the ground up, gave out the first loans in the town's history and even sold some of the first settlers the equipment they needed to keep the apple business booming. Some ponies say Granny Smith of the Apple family and Filthy of the Rich family were the parents of Ponyville commerce. But I don't think Ponyville commerce would've lasted long if Old Money hadn't been there with the loans and the equipment when the ponies needed it.

Cash Money then appears for an onscreen interview, standing outside of the shop and wearing his black uniform shirt. His cutie mark is visible, the same as the symbol on the shop sign. Cash continues his narration before the camera:

The big cities like Manehatten and Fillydelphia have a lot of pawn shops, but we've always been the only game in Ponyville. You might think this makes our business dull and uneventful, but it doesn't. Ponyville is and has always been a hub for business and tourism, and we get plenty of big city ponies coming in ready to spend their bits on the stuff we bought from the other big city ponies. It's a big cycle of buying and selling, and we're making all the money.

Cash sat at his desk with quill in his mouth and worked on a stack of paperwork from the day's transactions. As he worked an old, gray and wrinkly stallion with a snow-white mane shuffled into the office nook area. He walked up to a chair behind a desk next to Cash's and sat down. After he eased his weary bones into the chair with a groan, the old stallion opened one of his desk drawers, looked inside then pulled out a deck of playing cards. He looked at Cash and asked, "How we doing, son?"

"Could be better," Cash answered with the quill still in his mouth. "You know, Dad, all of the other pawn shops these days are using mechanical printers. When are we going to stop doing business with quills?"

"When I damn well feel like it," Old Money muttered as he started laying cards down on his desktop.

Cash, who was wearing his simple black uniform shirt, looked at his father. He saw that Old Money was still wearing the same vest, collared shirt and tie he always wore to work. "Pops," he said, "you know I got us these new shirts over a month ago. When are you going to start wearing them with the rest of us?

"When I damn well feel like it," Old Money said again.

Cash shook his head. "Dad, stop being a jackass," he said. "I know you're older than the dirt Ponyville sits on, but come on already. This is my shop now and I say your crusty old self is out of uniform."

"Son, shut up and listen," Old Money said as he put down his cards for a moment and looked at Cash. "First off, it ain't your damn shop 'cause it's my name that's on the deed. Second, this crusty pony's been the chief executive officer 'round here since before you were born. That means I do as I bucking please an' nopony gives me hay for it, 'specially not my own kin. An' lastly, it was your grandpappy who was older than Ponyville's dirt. The dirt and I are about the same age."

The shop has always been a family business, The old country stallion said in an on-camera interview. I do the things the way I do them because it's how my pa taught me. My pa and I worked our hooves to the bone getting this shop going way back when. The only reason why I let Cash do most of the business nowadays is 'cause I'm old and I've already paid my dues. I don't like this dressed-down look he's tryin' to go for with these new shirts of his. I wear my shirt and vest to work because it looks a whole lot more professional and respectable than that. The truth about the pawn business is that ponies don't expect much from it. But when I do business, I do it with class. That's what I try and teach Cash and his colt every chance I get. I come to work early every day looking good and ready to treat everypony who walks into my shop with courtesy and respect. Long as I know I can make some money after dealing with them, anyhow...

Back inside the shop, a large blond earth colt about the size of Big McIntosh walked into the office area and joined Cash and Old Money. He also wore a plain black shirt and sported the same cutie mark as them. The pony was carrying some papers in his mouth, which he put down on another desk as he took a seat behind it.

Cash looked at him and asked, "You got that jewelry audit done, Big Hoss?"

"Yeah, Dad," he answered. "It's only the third bucking one I did in the last two weeks. When are you going to stop giving me pointless busy work?"

"It's not pointless," Cash said. "It's gotta be done."

"Yeah, by one of our associates, not the day shift leader," Big Hoss said. "Why did you give me this responsibility if I'm not even being treated like I have any?"

"You want to know why, Big Hoss?" Cash asked sternly. "Because you need to earn it."

"Earn it?!" Cash retorted, "The buck does that mean? I already have it!"

"You two cut it out," Old Money cut in. "You're breakin' my concentration." He grumbled under his breath and moved his cards around.

Cash ignored him and said, "Look, all I'm saying is that you've got the title, but you still have to show that I can trust you. One day it might be just you running this business."

"Yeah, that whole trust issue has been clear as day," Big Hoss said coldly. "You were a lot younger than me when Gramps gave you this job."

"Well, Hoss," Cash said, "that's because when I started working here, I wasn't an off-the-reins delinquent whose ideas of fun included setting off firecrackers in the middle of the cafe during the lunch hour."

"That was like, a million years ago, Dad!"

"And let's not forget all that ding-dong dashing you did with those flaming paper bags!"

"Oh come on, dad," Big Hoss said, amused with himself, "that was just plain funny."

"It wasn't funny when the mayor told me how she caught you!" Cash shot back.

"Hey, you have to admit, she had it coming!"

Yeah, I've given my dad a lot of hay growing up, Cash said in an on-camera interview, and I know I still test his patience. But he taught me everything I know about this business and the integrity that comes with it. Before my dad showed me the ropes here, you couldn't trust me with a bushel of apples. Now I'm second-in-command - well, third if you count my Gramps - of one of the most successful businesses this side of Equestria. I give my dad a lot of credit for putting up with me until now. I'm probably the reason his mane's fallen out.

"You know, Hoss, you can be a real pain in the flank sometimes," Cash said.

"Oh, you want to talk about a pain in the flank!" Hoss retorted. "Try working for a nearly bald pony who can't get it through his thick bucking skull that his colt might actually know a thing or two about running this shop! I can run this place without your or Gramps if I had to right now!"

"Please, Hoss, you don't know a damn thing about running the shop solo," Cash said dismissively.

"Bullspit I don't!" Hoss yelled. "I could do it in my sleep! With two hooves tied behind my..."

"Hey!" Old Money barked, and both younger ponies stopped to look at him. "The both of y'all need to cut it out or I'll really give y'all something to holler about! Save it for when you're off the clock, 'cause I won't pay y'all to bitch and moan at each other. I'm paying y'all to make me some money, and at this rate your bellyachin' is gonna drive out all my customers." He stopped and leaned to one side to see a pony outside approaching the front door. "Lucky for you, Cash, here comes one now. Now get to work, both of you, an' stop actin' like damn schoolcolts or I'll fire ya!"

Old Money settled back in his chair and picked up his cards again. Big Hoss sighed and turned to walk toward the back room. Cash also sighed and started toward the customer. He called over his shoulder, "All right then, Dad. Enjoy your nap."

"I don't sleep on the job, you know that," Old Money mumbled back.

The pony, a grayish earth mare sporting a pink bowtie and a purple treble clef on her flank, approached the counter as Cash greeted her. "Welcome to the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop. What can I do for you today?"

"Well, sir," she said in a lovely lilted accent, "I have a book that I think you would be interested in seeing." She stuck her nose into the saddlebag she wore, pulled out a worn black tome in her teeth and placed it upon the counter.

"A book, huh?" Cash asked before he opened the book with one hoof and inspected the title page. "Ah! Tchaicoltsky! And this looks like...a textbook, maybe? Is this a textbook written by him? Because, you know, I thought he was a composer."

"Not exactly a textbook," the mare clarified. "This is his 'Treatise on Symphonic Composition,' which is his postulations on musical theory and the methods of composing ensemble scores. It's the only book he ever had published in his lifetime. My father gave this to me as a gift after I performed my first solo with the Manehatten Fillyharmonic."

I'm amazed that this book is in my shop right now, Cash said in an on-camera interview. Tchaicoltsky wrote this longform essay back before he received critical acclaim for his first symphonies. In fact, historians believe that if his composing career hadn't taken off, he might be known today only as a musical theorist. Or maybe he wouldn't be remembered today for anything. In any case, this book is a unique collectable that any classical musician would love to get their hooves on. Now that's music to my ears.

"Wow, this looks like a really nice collector's item you have here," Cash said. "Did you want to pawn it or sell it?"

"Unfortunately, I have to sell it," the mare said, her voice noticeably dejected. "My roommate broke - no, destroyed - my double bass while horsing around during one of her wild parties. Seriously, who would drop a double bass on purpose..."

"Ouch, that's not cool. I hope she learned her lesson and you guys were able to work things out." Cash tried to impart a little sympathy before moving on with the deal. "Do you know what you're hoping to get out of this book?"

"Well, my father had it appraised awhile back," the mare said. "At the time it was worth about six hundred, so I would like to get that much at least."

Cash looked over the book again, carefully leafed through the yellowed pages with one hoof and pondered aloud, "You know, this would be great for my shop and your number is in the ballpark. I'd just like to know a little more about it before we agree on something." He closed the book and looked at the customer. "Tell you what, I know somepony who is a real expert when it comes to rare books like this. Let me see if I can get her down here to take a look at your book and we'll go from there. Sound good?"

"Certainly," the mare replied.

"Great!" Cash said and smiled. "Just sit tight and I'll go get her."

Whenever something this nice comes into my shop or if I just don't know enough about an item to even make an offer, I get a second opinion from an expert in the field, Cash explained in an on-camera interview. Not many pawnbrokers will even bother to do that, but that's what separates my continued success from their mediocre sales. All my experts really know their stuff, but I doubt there's anypony in Ponyville who knows half of what my book expert knows...

A short time later a purple unicorn arrives, eager to offer her expert perspective in this situation.

"There's my book expert!" Cash greeted the purple mare. "How're we doing today, Twilight?

"Doing great today, Cash!" Twilight Sparkle answered enthusiastically.

My name is Twilight Sparkle and I operate the library here in Ponyville, she said in an on-camera interview outside of the shop. I'm an expert in a variety of books and other types of literature. I'm also quite familiar with many types of magical artifacts. When Cash needs to know a little more about a rare book or a magical oddity a customer brings in, I'm the one he one he calls for help!

"Hello, Octavia!" Twilight said to the customer. "Did you bring in something for Cash today?"

"That I did, Twilight, right here." Octavia motioned to the book on the counter.

Twilight's horn and the book both took on a purple glow as she lifted the book and opened it for her to inspect. "Oh, wow!" Twilight's eyes went wide as she looked at the title page. "This is Tchaicoltsky's 'Treatise on Symphonic Composition!' I have this in my library, it's an absolutely fascinating read. This copy is in relatively good condition, too." She inspected the facing page, then she gasped and her eyes went even wider. "Oh my gosh! This one is a first edition! Octavia, this book of yours is one of the best I've seen in quite some time!"

Cash nodded and said, "Well, that definitely sounds like good news to us. Is the anything else about the book you can tell us, Twilight?"

"Well," Twilight said while flipping through the pages back and forth, "the cover's fairly worn, but the pages are unmarked and the binding is still pretty solid considering its age, so I'd label this book as being in 'very good' condition."

"Excellent," Cash said. "So how much do you think it's worth?"

"Hmm," Twilight thought aloud. "I do recall a similar volume that sold at an auction last year for about fifteen hundred bits." Now Octavia's eyes went wide at the news. Twilight continued, "But that's at an auction, not retail. So the quote I would give for a retail price would be about eight, maybe nine hundred bits."

Octavia smiled and nodded. "That's definitely more than what I had expected," she said.

"All right then," Cash said as he extended his hoof to Twilight. "Thanks for coming down to check this out for us, you've been a great help as always."

Twilight smiled and shook his hoof. "No problem, Cash, it was my pleasure!" she said, then turned to leave the store.

"Hey, Twi!" Cash called after her. "Tell Spike I just got some beautiful sapphires in, he should get his bits and stop by!"

"I will!" she called back as she trotted out the door.

Cash turned back to Octavia and asked, "So, how much do you want for the book?"

"Well," Octavia said, "I do believe the price was just quoted at nine hundred bits, so I'm asking nine hundred."

Cash shook his head and said, "Sorry, but I'm willing to give you five hundred for it." As he read the stunned look on her face, Cash explained, "What Twilight gave you was a retail price, but I'm not in the retail business. If I buy this book then it's probably going to sit for awhile before I find somepony willing to buy it. That will probably be another classical musician-type like yourself. Until then, I've got overhead, bills and my employees' salaries to pay."

Octavia considered this for a moment, then countered, "Could you perhaps be willing to accept seven hundred?"

Cash thought about the offer. "Six hundred," he said, "and that's it."

A few tense moments passed until Octavia conceded. "All right then. It was about what I expected walking in, so I'll accept that."

Cash smiled and nodded. "All right," he said as they shook hooves, "let's go do some paperwork."

I was rather disappointed at his first offer, but I did understand his obligations as a businesspony, Octavia said in an on-camera interview outside of the store. In the end we came to a mutual agreement. Now he has something to sell and I have the money to buy a new double bass...and a hardshell case...which it will stay in...locked up...far away from Vinyl...

This was a great deal, Cash said later on-camera. Once I find the right pony to sell this book to I'll easily make a profit. I might even sell it to Twilight Sparkle for the price she gave me!

**********

At this point, the video faded to black for what the editors intended to be a commercial break. In the exec's office, Cash studied the looks on the unicorns' faces. They looked interested in what they were seeing, but beyond that he couldn't tell if their interest was genuine or if they were just patiently waiting for Cash's boring tape to end.

No way, they're not bored, Cash thought. They're probably just keeping their poker face like I am. Right?

Cash considered outright asking them what they thought, but the show came back on and he decided not to interrupt. Let it speak for itself, Cash, he thought to himself. That was your plan, stick to the plan...

**********

The camera wandered around the store and captured quick shots of the customers and employees. A gruff earth pony looked over a plow in the middle of the showroom. A few unicorns gazed at the bright jewelry on display in the glass counter. A counting machine counted coins and dropped them into a sack for a customer. Old Money sat at his desk with his eyes closed and loudly snored.

A snow-white unicorn with a purple mane confidently trotted into the store and approached the counter. Cash straightened up and smiled as he greeted the customer. "Well how do you do, Miss Rarity? What brings you into my store today?"

"It's my store, remember?" Old Money cut in defiantly.

"Aw, go back to sleep, Pops!" Cash yelled over his shoulder and looked at Rarity again. "Sorry about that."

"Oh, that's quite alright, Cash," Rarity said. "I can certainly understand the abrasive family dynamic."

"Hear that, Dad?" Cash called back to Old Money. "She's calling you abrasive."

"Watch it, son," the grumpy stallion said.

"Anyhow," Cash said. "What brings the lovely Rarity here? Looking for some more vintage threads?"

"Sorry, Cash, no shopping today," Rarity said. "I'm here because I need a loan and I need it quickly. One of my clients is picking up her order in three days and I've run out of the unique materials I need to finish it. All I have to do is have the supplies overnighted from Manehatten, but I've come up a little short..."

Rarity's horn glowed as something rustled in her saddlebag. She continued, "I was wondering if perhaps you could accept this..."

A bright glimmer emerged from the bag, then Rarity lowered the object onto the counter. The glow softened to reveal a golden necklace with a bright lavender jewel in the shape of one of her cutie mark diamonds inlaid in the middle.

"as collateral."

Cash's eyes widened a little and he let out a small whistle. He called over his shoulder, "Hey, son! Come here and take a look at this."

Big Hoss trotted up to the two ponies. "What've we got here, pops?" he asked.

Cash scooped up Rarity's necklace in one hoof and brought it closer to the stallion's face. "Big Hoss, do you know what this is?"

"Um, a very shiny necklace?"

Cash looked back at Rarity and asked, "Do you see what I have to deal with on a regular basis here?" He turned back to his son. "Son, stop being a wiseacre. I know you know that this is the Element of Generosity necklace. I also know you know that she's Rarity, one of the six ponies who saved our hides and all of Equestria on multiple occasions."

"Yeah, so?" Big Hoss asked.

"So if she's coming to us for a loan, don't you think we should honor her patronage?" Cash asked back.

Big Hoss shrugged and said, "Whatever, Dad. I'm just here to make money, you know?"

Cash groaned, looked at Rarity again and said, "Again I apologize, Rarity. It seems like my whole family has come down with a case of the jackass today."

"Again, Cash, that's quite alright," she repeated.

About half of our business here in Ponyville is pawn and loan, Cash explained on-camera. Basically, if a pony's hard up for cash and needs a few extra bits, they can come to us for a loan. All they gotta do is put up an item for collateral. I give them some bits, then they have up to thirty days to pay back the loan plus interest. When they pay me back, I give them their item back. But if they can't pay up in thirty days, the item becomes my property and it goes on the shelf to be sold. I've had all kinds of stuff come in here to be pawned: antiques, farm equipment, even animals. I'll take anything if I think I can make some money off of it.

"So uh, Rarity?" Cash asked.

"Yes, Cash?"

"I have to ask so I can try and process what's going on here," Cash said. "Why is this here? I mean, of all the things that you could have brought in to pawn, this is what you bring me? A priceless magical artifact vital to the security of our land and our lives? That's what you brought to me today?"

"Does this not qualify as sufficient collateral?" Rarity asked back.

"Well, how do I put this?" Cash paused for a moment and said, "It's priceless."

"So you agree that it has value?"

"No. Well, yes," Cash stumbled over his words for a moment. "What I mean to say is, it's price-less. As in, I have no clue what it's actually worth. It's not like I have a catalog that I can look this up in and tell you."

"I don't understand what the problem is here," Rarity said. "Are you telling me I can't get a loan here with this?"

"I'm telling you that I can't even begin to quote a price for you."

"Then just throw a number out there! Name your price!"

"It's not that simple..." Cash tried to explain.

"Look, I don't have time to argue over this!" Rarity became exasperated. "Either you do this for me or I will find some other way to get the money I need. I will tell you that my client will be paying me handsomely for my work, so I can settle my loan the day after the order is completed."

"Rarity, I don't know..."

"I'll pay you double interest!" She offered excitedly.

Cash paused for a moment, then asked, "You're serious, aren't you?"

"As a parasprite attack," she replied.

The pawnbroker sighed as he looked at the gold necklace with its stunning gem. Then he looked at Rarity and said, "I can't believe I'm doing this. How much do you want for it?"

"How does two thousand bits sound for this exchange?" Rarity asked.

"Honestly? Since you generously offered to pay double interest?" Cash asked and continued, "I'd feel better about loaning you seven hundred."

"I assure you, Cash, paying you back will not be a problem in the least," Rarity said. "I can settle for fourteen hundred."

"One thousand," Cash said firmly, "and not one bit more."

Rarity stood and pondered the offer.

"It's cash-money, bright and shiny coins," Big Hoss offered. "Got bags of 'em in the back with your name on 'em."

The regal pony straightened up, took in a breath and responded, "Well, I do think I can finish my work with that amount. All right, Cash, we have a deal." Rarity smiled and extended a hoof.

Cash extended his own and they shook on it. "Excellent, Miss Rarity." He turned to his protege and said, "Big Hoss, write her up and get this inventoried, before Derpy sees it. Please, don't let her see this, because you know she'll start playing around with it and probably break it. Like she did with the vase, remember?"

"Uh-huh," Hoss answered.

"And the mirror," Cash continued.

"Yeah."

"And the..."

"Okay, okay, I got it!" Hoss exclaimed. "Don't let her anywhere near the thing!"

"Right. If anything happens to it, we'll be out..." Cash tried for a moment to think of a number, but couldn't. "Well, who knows what we'll be out! Just don't let her near it. Got me?"

"Gotcha, pops," Hoss said. He looked at Rarity and continued, "I'll meet you over there. Hey, maybe after the loan's paid, could you take a crack at a redesign of these ugly-looking shirts my dad's having us wear to work?"

"I heard that, Hoss!" Cash yelled.

"I could certainly try, Big Hoss," Rarity whispered.

**********

The camera faded out for a planned commercial break, then the exec paused the tape.

"Wait, wait a second. Who's Derpy?" the exec asked Cash. "Is she part of the family or something? I thought you guys said this was a family business."

"Well, it is," Cash explained, "but Derpy is this pegasus we hired just before the shooting started. She's a friend of Big Hoss's, and she got laid off from her job at the post office. I really hired her just to help out with stuff at the store. But..." All of a sudden, Cash lost his train of thought.

"But?" the exec asked inquisitively. "But what, Cash?"

Come on, Cash Money, think about the show. His mind raced to get its bearings. They don't have to know the whole haystack, just what's on camera...which hopefully isn't too much...

"But Derpy has a certain...unique appeal in the show," Cash said, confident now that the Derpy issue was back in his hooves. "And like I said earlier, I think we should just let the tape speak for itself so you all can see that appeal for yourselves."

The exec seemed to buy his defense of Derpy. "Alright, Cash, that sounds reasonable to me. I'm trusting you on this." The exec pressed the play button and the show resumed.

**********

As the camera faded back into the store it focused on one of the employees: a gray, wall-eyed pegasus mare. With a broom clenched in her mouth she swept the floor around the one of the display cases. She swept her way around to the back of the case, then put down the broom and flexed out one of her wings. Stretching it up to reach a wall shelf of knickknacks, she carefully dusted around them with her long feathers. As she did, Big Hoss came toward her behind the counter with Rarity's necklace, tagged for inventory, balanced on his tail.

"Hey Derpy," Big Hoss said, "let me get by you here..."

"Heya, Big Hoss!" Derpy turned to him and exclaimed. She forgot what she was doing for a second and bumped a gaudy green glass tree. It tipped from one side to the other, then began to fall off the shelf. In a second Big Hoss had carefully nudged her aside and caught the tree on his head.

"Whoops, my bad," Derpy said sheepishly. "Nice catch, Hoss."

Derpy is our newest addition to the shop, Big Hoss said in an on-camera interview. We've been friends for awhile and when she got laid off from the post office I decided to help her out and get her a job here. She's never been in the pawn and loan business before. But from what I understand she's not all that good at working the weather and other pegasi jobs either. So chances were good that she'd have a lot of trouble finding a decent job anywhere. And she needed work for her and her filly's sake. I mean, how couldn't I help out a friend, you know? If only she weren't so clumsy around the merchandise...

Big Hoss nudged the tree back in its place with his nose and said, "No prob, Derpy, just be more careful around these breakables, okay?"

"Okay," she said before peering over him to see what was on his tail. "Hey, what's that?"

Big Hoss looked behind him and moved his tail out of Derpy's view. "Oh, just a pawn I'm taking to the back room," he said.

"It looks really shiny and sparkly," Derpy said. "Hey, was that Rarity in here earlier? Is that hers? It must be really, really nice if it was hers!"

"Um, Derpy, we don't really pry too much into the stuff ponies bring in to pawn, you know?" Big Hoss said. "It's kind of like an invasion of privacy."

"Oh, okay, sorry," Derpy said with an embarrassed look on her face.

"Don't worry about it. Just for future reference, you know?" Big Hoss said as he slid past her and continued on toward the back room. "Hey, good job on the cleanup, everything back here looks a lot nicer without the dirt and stuff."

"Really?" Derpy asked as her spirit picked back up. "Thanks, Big Hoss!"

"Just watch those wings of yours." Big Hoss said. "They're, um, too nice to be used as feather dusters."

Derpy gave him a quick salute and replied, "You got it, boss Hoss!"

The camera cut to another montage of curious ponies admiring the store merchandise. Old Money, now fully awake from his nap, had left his desk and was making rounds behind the counters when he saw another potential customer coming through the door.

A pink earth pony with a greenish mane and two daisies on her flank trotted into the store while pulling a small wagon behind her. She brought her wagon up to the front counter where Old Money and Derpy stood.

"What can we do for you today, young lady?" Old Money greeted the customer.

The pony was carefully removing the sole item in her wagon with her front hooves when she replied, "Well, I was wondering if you would be interested in buying my cuckoo clock." She set down the ornate chestnut clock in front of the pawnbrokers.

"Ooh, a cuckoo clock!" Derpy exclaimed. "I love these things! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!"

Old Money looked at his employee and said, "Derpy, you really are a cuckoo bird."

"Nuh-uh, silly Old Money!" she said. "I'm a pegasus! See?" She flapped her wings and hovered in the air.

"Close enough."

I'm glad this clock came into my shop today, Old Money said in an on-camera interview. Most of these pieces are made in Canterlot by expert craftsponies, completely hoof-crafted and assembled down to the tiniest spring. They usually come into Ponyville when a Canterlot family decides to relocate here or some rich tourist picks one up as a souvenir. Clocks are great sellers here, especially among the more well-off ponies in these parts. That's because if they have one of these they don't have to depend on looking at the town square clock tower every couple hours just to know what time it is. Believe it or not, I'm just as excited as Derpy is about getting my hooves on this clock. I just have the good sense to keep my enthusiasm on the inside.

"What can you tell me about your clock here?" Old Money asked.

"This clock has been in my family since my grandfather bought it many years ago," the pink pony said. "He bought it in Canterlot and put it in his house once he settled here in Ponyville. Since then our family and this clock have remained in the same house, so it's been a part of our lives since even before I can remember."

"Why are you selling it?" Derpy inquired. "If you don't mind me asking, that is?"

"Oh, for the house," the customer explained. "It needs a lot of repairs this year. Thatch roofs don't last forever, you know."

"And how much are you wanting for it?" Old Money asked.

"I was thinking, somewhere around three hundred bits?" she offered.

"Hmm," the old gray stallion thought aloud. "I might be a buyer at that. If it works, that is. Does it still work?"

"It hasn't been wound in awhile, but as far as I know it should work," the pink pony said.

"Okay," Old Money said. "I know a pony in town who's good with these clocks. He should be able to tell right away if this clock is serviceable. Would you mind waiting a few minutes while I get him down here?"

"Not at all," the customer replied.

This could pay off big if the clock works, Old Money said on-camera. But if it doesn't then I'm afraid we're just wasting each other's time.

Soon afterward, a brown earth stallion with an hourglass cutie mark wearing a white collar and red tie trotted into the shop and greeted Old Money. "Good day, old chap!"

"Afternoon, Clockwork," Old Money said. "Glad you could make it down here."

"It's my pleasure, I..." Clockwork stopped as his eyes met Derpy's. Derpy noticed that he was staring and stared back. The two were locked in a silent gaze into each other's eyes for a moment before Clockwork spoke again. "Um...have we met before?"

"Uhh..." Derpy said, her eyes shifting about incongruently as she tried to remember. "I dunno."

"Well, I thought and, well, saw your eyes and," Clockwork stammered, "because, well...oh, nevermind."

Yes, well, I am the Doc-er, Clockwork! The clock expert introduced himself in an on-camera interview just outside the store. Yes, I'm Clockwork and I specialize in temporal, or rather chronomatic instruments of all sorts. Usually I'm called in to the Silver Saddle to evaluate clocks and their various states of functionality and relative monetary value. Yes...that...is what I do...

"Young miss," Clockwork said to the pink pony as he looked over the clock. "What you have here is a very fine example of Canterlot timepiece craftsmanship! As we can see here, a likeness of Princess Celestia herself has been carved into a miniature statuette form. And this," he said as he pointed with one hoof to a small semicircular painting of a village in late afternoon, "I believe will rotate as the clock runs to show this landscape at different times of day, symbolizing the Princess's domain over both the sun and moon. This, of course, is typical for a clock constructed before Princess Luna was liberated from her terrifying Night Mare Moon state."

"Fascinating," Old Money said. "But does the thing work?"

"Well, let's get right to it, then!" Clockwork said. He turned the clock with his hooves to look at the back, then carefully opened the back panel and inspected its inner workings. "Hmm...everything looks fairly clean, considering its age. Yes, I think I see the cuckoo bird there. Right then, let's wind 'er up and see what happens."

"Um, are you sure?" the pink pony asked Clockwork as he fished something out of his vest pocket with his teeth. "I haven't seen this clock run for years and I wouldn't want something to get...say, what's that?"

Clockwork had a strange cylindric device in his mouth that emitted a blue light into the clock. "My sonic-er, timepiece diagnostics tool," he answered through clenched teeth. "Now let's just...yes, right there...here we go!"

The ponies watched with fascination as the clock's gears began clicking and winding around by themselves. Its hands rotated counterclockwise until they came to a stop at three o'clock. Two tiny doors opened to reveal a tiny brown cuckoo, which opened its mouth and sounded the hour.

"Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!"

"Cuckoo!" Derpy excitedly imitated as she flapped her wings with glee.

"It works!" the pink pony exclaimed.

"Splendid, it works!" Clockwork said proudly.

"Fantastic," Old Money said in his deadpan tone. "Now that it works, what's it worth?"

"Ah, right then," Clockwork said while closing the back on the ticking mechanism. "Seeing as how it's all in good working order now, you could probably resell this for five hundred pou-I mean, bits, quite easily."

"Very good," Old Money said as he extended his hoof to the brown stallion. "Thank you for your help today."

"You're quite welcome," Clockwork said as they shook hooves. Before he turned to leave he looked at Derpy again and said, "Hmm...you know, I'm sure we've met before...oh, I'll probably remember again later. Good day, then."

Old Money looked at the pink pony again and asked, "So how much do you want for it?"

She looked at the clock, seemingly lost in the sound of its ticking. "Oh, I don't know...what did your expert say, five hundred?"

Old Money shook his head. "I can give you two-fifty," he said. "Five hundred is what I'll sell it for."

The pink pony sighed and said, "That sounds pretty low. I mean, this is something my grandfather had in our family for years. I practically grew up with this clock." She looked at him and asked, "Are you sure you can't offer just a little more for it?"

Old Money sighed, as if her softened him a little. "Miss, you're a sweet little pony, but business is still business. I still have to make some money at the end of the day. I can offer you three hundred, but that's the top of the mark."

A tense moment passed as she looked at the clock again and considered his offer. "If I walk out of here with this clock, I can look at it and think of my grandfather and the house he built," she reasoned. "But if I do that, the house he built will keep falling apart, and I don't think he would have wanted that to happen." She looked at Old Money and nodded. "Okay," she said, "I'll take the offer."

"All right then!" Derpy cut in, eager to help close the deal. "I'll meet you over there!"

"No, Derpy," Old Money said. "I'll wrap this up. You just go on back and sweep up the store some more."

"But I already did that, boss," she protested. "Everything's clean now."

"Well, go straighten up the pawn inventory, then," Old Money countered.

"Aww," Derpy said, "all right." She walked toward the back of the store while Old Money finished up business with the customer.

Selling the clock was a pretty hard thing to do, especially after seeing it all fixed up, the pink pony later said in an on-camera interview outside the shop. But at least now I have the money I need to repair the house, which would have made my grandfather happy. Now that the clock works again they can sell it to somepony else who will enjoy having it as much as I did.

A wide evening shot of the shop captured its shadowy appearance, which then transitioned into the pawnbrokers inside as they started to close up shop:

"All right, everypony, time to close up the floor!" Cash called to the patrons milling about in the showroom, who started moving out the door. "Anypony who still has business here can take it to the night window, but for the rest of you the showroom is closed. Thanks for coming by!" Cash turned and saw Big Hoss straightening up the counter. He trotted over to him and said, "Alright, son, I'm taking the night shift tonight and then you've got it starting tomorrow, right?"

"Eeyup," Big Hoss answered.

"Good deal, then," Cash said as he saw his father shuffling about behind the counter. "Hey, pop," he called to him, "why don't you get out of here already?"

"That's what I'm doing. What makes ya think I wanna hang around you thunderheads a minute longer than I have to?" Old Money pulled a black hat with a canted brim off his desk with his teeth, and with a quick flip had it on his head as he walked toward the door. "I'll see y'all in the mornin'."

As Old Money left, Cash turned his attention to his son again and said, "Okay, looks like everypony's left the building, so...wait a second, have you seen Derpy?"

"Last I saw her, I think Gramps told her to go straighten up the pawn inventory," Big Hoss answered.

"Better go get her so the two of you can get out of here," Cash said.

Big Hoss went to the back of the store, then down the hall lined with the pawn inventory shelves. He saw the gray mare several feet down the hall with her head in one of the shelves as of she were looking for something. He called to her, "Hey Derpy!"

She jumped a little and scurried back from the shelf. Big Hoss walked closer and called to her again, "Hey, what're you doing still back here? Everypony's going..." He stopped in his tracks when he was able to see the shiny object affixed around Derpy's neck. It was Rarity's necklace.

"Oh, h-hey b-boss Hoss," she stammered, eyes wide as saucers. She looked down at the necklace and her pupils went as tiny as pinpricks. "Ohmigosh! I'm sorry, Hoss, I was about to take it off! I wasn't stealing it, honest! Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry, please don't fire me!" She trembled and cowered in fear before her supervisor.

"Whoa, whoa there Derpy!" he said as he put up a front hoof toward her. "Calm down, now, I'm not going to fire you. I know you're not a thief." His kind words soothed her rattled emotions, and she stopped trembling and slowly stood up.

"Whew, oh, thank you, Big Hoss," she said with relief. "I hoped you would understand."

Big Hoss nodded. "I understand you weren't trying to steal Rarity's necklace," he said, "but what are you doing wearing it when you were supposed to be cleaning up the inventory?"

"Well," she explained, now fully composed, "I was cleaning up back here with a rag in my mouth, but everything was so dirty and the rag was too small, so I used my wings again to do some more dusting, but then it got so dusty in here that it tickled my nose and I sneezed, and when I sneezed my wing bumped something and, clunk! Rarity's necklace fell off the shelf, so I picked it up and saw it was Rarity's necklace, which is sooo cool because it's the Element of Generosity, and I just got a little curious, you know, about how it would maybe look on a plain old mare like me, so I put it on and I wanted to see how I looked in a mirror, so I went looking in the shelves for a mirror maybe somepony decided to pawn, and then you were all like, 'hey Derpy!' (she tried to make her voice sound deep like Big Hoss's) and I got scared and stuff, and, well, here we are."

"Ah," Big Hoss said, rolling his eyes. "Makes perfect sense."

"Well, hey!" Derpy said, "As long as you're here would you mind telling me, you know, how awesome I look?" She went up on her hind legs, put her font hooves on her sides, spread her wings and gave the biggest hero grin she could muster. Her eyes remained the same.

"The pinnacle of awesomeness," Big Hoss said dryly. "Look out, Rainbow Dash."

"Check me out!" she boasted while trying out various hero poses. "It's Derpy, champion of Equestria! The element of...um, bubbles! And, uh, muffins too!"

"Alright, that's enough," Big Hoss said. "I came back here to let you know we can go..."

"Peow! Peow!" Derpy puffed her chest out and imitated energy bolts. "Take that, Night Mare Moon! Peow!"

"Derpy, seriously, cut that out," Big Hoss said. "You don't know what that thing can do, it might be loaded with magical energy and stuff."

"Aw naw, boss Hoss!" she said with self-assurance. "This thing is Rarity's, it can't do anything for anypony but her." She resumed her make-believe battle. "Peow! Oh, what's up now, Discord? That's right, it's the one and only Derpy coming at ya! Peow! Kablam!"

"Oh...crabapples. Derpy?" Big Hoss asked tensely as he started at the necklace. He pointed with one hoof at it and said, "That can't be good."

Derpy stopped horsing around and asked, "What do you mean?" She looked down and her eyes went wide again. The jewel in the necklace was starting to glow brighter and brighter. Not only that, but the two ponies noticed that there was a humming noise in the hallway that seemed to come from the necklace as well. The confused gray mare looked back at Big Hoss and asked, "Um, boss...what did I do?"

"Hey!" Cash's voice called down the highway over the growing humming. "What's taking you ponies so long?"

Suddenly, the glowing and the humming got brighter and louder very quickly. Big Hoss had a brief moment to react, and he did so by dropping to the floor and yelling behind him, "Dad, hit the deck!"

A large, diamond-shaped energy bolt erupted from the jewel, thundering over Big Hoss and down the hall. A second later there was a loud crash, then nothing.

Big Hoss picked up his head and saw Derpy, paralyzed with fear and her mouth agape. For once, both of her eyes stared straight ahead. The jewel in the necklace glowed softer and softer, then went dark. Hoss got up, swiped the necklace off from Derpy's neck and gently tossed it onto the shelf he had put it on earlier.

"And that's why we don't play around with the inventory, especially with the magical items," he told her as he tugged her mane between his teeth to follow him back into the showroom. "Now let's get out of here before my dad...oh no, Dad!" He let go of Derpy and galloped into the showroom. He froze in his tracks when he saw the damage the energy blast had done.

The counter and display case opposite from the back room was completely demolished, and all the shelves on the back wall had come down from their fixtures. Splintered wood and broken glass and merchandise lay everywhere, and in the middle of the ruins was Cash, dazed and confused from the impact, laying flat upon the floor.

He began to stir, opened his eyes and groggily lifted his head. "Uhh...what...in Celestia's name...happened here?" He asked as he looked around and tried to make sense of the destruction surrounding him. Cash brought his hooves in toward his torso, tried to push himself up and winced in pain. Big Hoss moved in to help his father get up off the floor.

"I just don't know what went wrong," Derpy tried to explain to Cash. "I don't think Rarity's necklace was supposed to do that..."

"What?" Cash asked and froze. He pushed Big Hoss away from him and straightened himself up. "So it was Rarity's necklace that did this," he said before turning to Big Hoss. "I told you, didn't I? I told you not to let her see it, right?"

"Dad, are you okay? Do we need to go to the hospital?" Big Hoss asked partly out of concern and partly to try and take the heat off of him at the moment. It didn't work.

"Get a broom. Start cleaning. Now," Cash said as he looked at the two ponies and pointed with one hoof at the wide area of the mess. "The two of you, make this place safe for customers to come in tomorrow. If somepony gets a single shard of glass in their hoof tomorrow, then the both of you are out of a job. And you," he continued, looking squarely at Big Hoss, "until further notice, you are working the night shift. Every night."

"What?!" Big Hoss exclaimed. "I'm the day shift leader! You can't expect me the burn the candle at both..."

"Until. Further. Notice," Cash said. He groaned, shook the dust off of himself, then started shuffling toward the door. "Now, if the two of you will excuse me, I'm going to go home, take a bath, eat some dinner and sleep off my injuries."

Cash limped out of the shop and slammed the door behind him. Big Hoss sighed as the camera cut to a shot of the shop in the evening slowly zooming out. "Come on, Derpy, let's get this cleaned up," he said as the camera faded out for the last time.

**********

The exec stopped the tape in the middle of the credit roll and shut off the monitor. He turned to look at Cash, who managed to get out a small chuckle.

"Heh, that stuff at the end was really something, huh?" he said to the suits. "You know, I was pretty amazed at how well your camera crew captured all of that. It's definitely not something you see every day at your run-of-the-mill pawn shop."

The suits said nothing. Oh no, this can't be good. Cash's thoughts raced again. How did that footage get into the final cut? My fritters are cooked now...

"Uh, I had asked the editors to leave out all of that stuff at the end from the final product," Cash said. "Looks like they went against a lot of my advice."

Still nothing.

Beads of sweat began to run down Cash's head as he thought, Come on now, keep it together. They're trying to call your bluff. They want you to back down, but you're not gonna give this up. You've bet too much and come far to fold now. Just ask them, already!

"So, fellas, really," Cash said as confidently as he could. "I've gotta know what you think of the pilot. Please, just lay it on me. I've got thick hide."

Finally, the exec at the desk took in a breath, exhaled, leaned forward, looked right at Cash and said, "You want to know what I think?"

"Absolutely," Cash answered without hesitation.

"I think," the exec said before he leaned back and laughed. "I think that was one of the best shows I've ever seen!" He pounded his hoof on his desk in approval, and the flanking ponies in suits smiled and stomped their hooves in agreement.

Cash smiled about a mile wide. "Really?" he asked them sincerely. "You're not pulling my hoof here?"

"Absolutely not!" the exec continued, "This is the kind of stuff I wish we had on television already. I mean, what you showed us here, it's the total package. You've got ponies bringing their stuff in, and you and your experts talk about what it is and where it came from and whatnot. Everypony learns a little something from that, which is good. But then you've got the guessing game of what you guys will pay, or if the pony will even sell you their stuff. That's exciting, too. And as if that's not enough, look at the personalities you brought into the show! The Twilight Sparkle and the Rarity?! I had no idea you knew the champions of Equestria! I tell ya, those ponies deserve a show of their own! But I digress. The point is, I love it, which means the network will love it and they'll want more!"

Cash began to feel dizzy from all the praise and did his best to stay focused. "That's excellent, sir!" he said. "How much more do you think they'll want?"

"Well, here's what I can do," the exec said as he put both front hooves on his desk. "I can have a contract drafted up for you to sign tomorrow guaranteeing one season of your, what is it, Pawnbrokers of Ponyville Show?"

"Ponyville Pawn Stars," Cash corrected.

"Yes. That's shorter than what I said, I like it," the exec said as he resumed telling Cash his plans. "Anyhow, we will sign you up for one season, plus options and whatever fringe benefits you can think of. We're talking beaucoup bits here, Cash, probably more bits being thrown at you tomorrow than a year's profit at your shop. Sign up tomorrow and we can have our camera crew back at your place ready to film in three days."

Cash's mind was reeling. He was finally getting everything he had hoped for with this television thing. He couldn't wait to rub it all in Old Money's face once he was done here and show the old stallion how foalish he had been putting down Cash's ideas. The first things he would do would probably include a night on the town in Las Pegasus. Whether or not he would bring Old Money or Big Hoss along would remain to be seen.

His attention refocused on the suited exec at the desk in front of him, who had his hoof extended to him for an agreement. "So...do we have a deal?"

Wow, he thought, this is what it feels like to be on this end of the bargain. Weird, but kinda cool.

Cash stuck out his hoof and shook the exec's. "We've got a deal," he said.

"Excellent!" the exec exclaimed. "I'm gonna hold you to that hoofshake until the contract is drawn up, by the way. Why don't you get on back to your shop and tell them the good news?"

"You bet," Cash said as he got up on four hooves again, "and thanks again for listening to my pitches and everything. You've really made my day."

"You're quite welcome, Cash," the exec said. But before the pawnbroker could leave the exec had to stop him for a moment. "Hey Cash, wait! I've got just one more thing about the show."

"Oh?" Cash said. "What's that?"

"It's about Derpy," the exec said.

Uh oh, he thought, What about Derpy?

"What about Derpy?" Cash asked.

"She's hilarious!" the exec said as he stretched out the syllables of that last word. "That silly pegasus is the perfect comic relief for this sort of thing. She's going to make this show!"

"Oh!" Cash exclaimed in relief. "Well, if you say so, sir."

"I'm serious, Cash," the exec said in a more serious tone. "Don't fire her, don't sideline her. She needs to be part of the show like your sire and colt are. You got me?"

Cash nodded and said, "Understood. Derpy stays. Sign contracts tomorrow. Beaucoup bits coming."

"Yes, yes and yes," the exec said. "I think this is going to be the start of a great thing, Cash. Now get outta here and gloat, you! See you tomorrow!"

"You bet, see you then!" Cash said as he left the office and closed the door behind him. He walked down the hall several steps until he was out of earshot from the executive, then stopped and let out a long exhale.

That went quite well, he thought. So, Derpy makes the show, huh? It looks like I might be bringing three to Las Pegasus after all.

Beaucoup bits. Derpy stays.

Filming again in three days. Derpy stays.

Signing contracts tomorrow. Derpy stays.

Derpy stays.

What in Equestria did I get myself into?

Episode 2: Pinkie Pawn

I'm Cash Money, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my sire, Old Money; and my colt, Big Hoss.

Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned in all my years in Ponyville, is that you never know what is going to trot through that door.

This is Ponyville Pawn Stars.

It was the start of another beautiful day in Ponyville. As the birds in the trees and the animals in the ground began to wake up, so did the ponies in town. When the birds started to sing and the animals emerged from their subterranean homes, the businessponies started opening their doors and putting their wares out for sale. Ponies swept and tidied up their areas, eager to entice customers with a clean store and fair prices.

Cash and his crew were already ahead of the curve set by the Ponyville business district. Old Money, always an early riser, had come in to the Silver Saddle just before dawn to relieve the night shift worker, check inventory and count out the register tills. Cash and Big Hoss arrived together shortly thereafter to do some accounting and store cleanup. Later, after dropping her filly off at school, Derpy glided in to help with cleanup and make the first pot of coffee. When Cash helped himself to a mug of Derpy's brew, the first few regular customers had already started coming in. He took one look out the front window to see what he saw every morning: all the other ponies only just unlocking their doors and getting their day started.

Cash took a sip of his black coffee. "Mmm," Cash swallowed and called out, "Hey, Big Hoss!"

"Yeah?" Hoss called back from the office.

"Did you help Derpy make this pot?"

"Yeah, I did. I told her to stop using paper towels as filters."

"I thought it tasted better," Cash remarked. "Thanks, Big..."

His conversation was cut short by a pink blur bouncing into the shop. It narrowly avoided colliding with other browsing ponies on its way to the front counter where Cash stood. The blur bounced right up to him, stopped in front of his face, and greeted him excitedly.

"Hiya, Cashie!" she exclaimed. "Beeeautiful morning, huh?"

"Wha?!" Cash was startled and nearly dropped his mug. Then after his brain caught up and recognized the cheery pony in front of his face he returned her greeting. "Oh, hey there, Pinkie Pie! Yeah, it sure is. Did you have your coffee this morning?"

"Coffee? Nah, I don't drink coffee, 'cause it makes ya hyper!" Pinkie said. "I don't like starting my day all bouncing off the walls and stuff!"

"Good point," Cash said as he peered around her to make sure her entrance hadn't knocked over any breakables or ponies. Turning his attention back to her, he asked, "So Pinkie, what brings you here first thing this morning?"

She had her face and front hooves stuffed inside one of the saddlebags she brought in for a few moments until she pulled out a large, bulky contraption. "This," she said as she dropped it on the counter with a loud thud, "is what brings me here first thing this morning!"

Cash looked at the object, clearly bigger than what her saddlebags could carry, then looked at Pinkie and back at the object. "How did you...I mean, to put in your...and to even lift the thing?" Cash tried to ask, but couldn't find the words and gave up trying.

Pinkie Pie is...well, she's Pinkie Pie, Cash said in an on-camera interview. You can't always explain what she's doing or what she'll do next, but she never fails to surprise you. And today, it looked like I was going to receive yet another one of her pleasant surprises.

"I bet you can't tell me what this is!" Pinkie said.

"I bet you I can, and I bet I can figure out how to make it work. Hmm," he thought aloud as he looked over its sturdy porcelain and metal casing, various buttons and switches, and the two metal objects that looked like very thick whisks protruding down from part of the assembly. "Oh, I know what this is!" Cash said. "It's a hoofmatic mixer. For the kitchen, right?"

"And the point goes to Cash!" Pinkie said. "That's exactly what it is!"

"Yeah, let me see how this works," he said as looked over the machine. "Okay, these switches down here control speed and oscillation, this is the button that starts it, but how...aha! This right here is the lever that winds it up. Can I go ahead and test it out, Pinkie?"

"Yah-huh!"

"Great! Before we do anything let's take these mixer attachments off. Safety first, right?" He disconnected the metal pieces and put them aside. "Now all you do is push this a few times..." Cash put his hoof down on a paddle-shaped lever and pumped it down a few times. As he did, the machine made clicking noises. When he couldn't push the lever any further, he stopped and put his hoof over the power button. "Now it should be all wound up, so when I press this button," he said as he pressed the button and the machine whirred to life, "presto! It runs!"

"Two points!" Pinkie exclaimed. "You did it, just like you said. How do you figure these things out?"

Cash shrugged and said, "It's a gift, I guess."

For years, unicorn chefs had the upper hoof in the kitchen by prepping meals with magic-powered appliances, Cash said in an on-camera interview. But recently, machines like this have started coming out that put the non-magically inclined culinary masters on the same playing field. All you have to do is spend a few seconds cranking a handle and you've got several minutes of power to use mixing your cake batter or what have you. This thing might work and even look a little like a wind-up toy, but it provides some serious kitchen aid.

"This must have come in pretty handy for you in the kitchen, huh?" Cash asked. "I mean, being a non-magical pony and all?"

"Oh, you bet!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Don't get me wrong, I love prepping my cakes by hoof as much as the next pony, but this thing opens up all kinds of party prepping possibilities! Look at all the attachments it's got!" She opened a side panel on the machine and revealed attachments of all sizes and shapes. "I've made cakes, puddings, smoothies and even party dip from scratch!"

"And with no hooves required," Cash said. "Well, not beyond pushing this little lever over and over."

"Yeah, it sure beats beating eggs by hoof all day long!" Pinkie said. "Hey, did you hear that? I said beats, then beating! Beats, twice! I should have talked about beating beets, then I would've said, 'beats beating beets!' Except you can't really beat beets, even with this mixer. Somepony should make an attachment for that..."

"Um, Pinkie?" Cash interrupted. "Did you want to sell this, like, today?"

"Oh yeah!" Pinkie said. "Sorry, Cashie, let's get back to business."

"So here's my big question for you, Miss Pinkie," Cash said, looking right at her. "If this little wonder is so great in the kitchen, then why are you selling it to me?"

Pinkie hesitated, as if she didn't really know what to say for a second. Then she said, "Oh, you know, gotta keep everything up to date in the kitchen. Got some bits saved, I'll use that and whatever you'll give me for this to trade on up. Maybe for a pink one! Think I could do that?"

"That depends," Cash said, "on how much you've got saved and what I'll want to pay after I take a closer look at this beast. From what I've seen already I know it's used, but it's not very old and has been very well maintained. It looks quite clean, except for this one sticky spot here. Let me see if...no, it doesn't come off easy. There must have been some kind of sticker here, maybe a property label-"

"Property? Um, nope, don't think so!" Pinkie interjected. "This belongs to me, just me..."

"Um...okay, then," Cash said. "So how much do you want for it?"

"You said it's used, right? How does two hundred bits sound?" Pinkie asked. "These babies are selling retail for at least four hundred."

"You know, Pinkie, I think you're right, so I'd probably buy this at two..."

"One-fifty, then!" she interrupted.

"Huh?" Cash said, bewildered.

"I'm sorry, what?" Pinkie asked.

"It's just that I thought I heard you say you'd sell this to me for one-fifty when I just said I'd buy it for two hundred."

"Oh, well, you know, one-fifty, two hundred, whatever," she said indifferently. "I can meet you in the middle at one seventy-five if you want."

"Um, okay...that sounds...good to me..." Cash said, unsure of exactly what to think about the exceedingly odd pink pony by now.

Something doesn't seem right here, Cash confessed on-camera. Normally I would be talking her prices down, but she appears to be doing that for me. And the first number she threw out wasn't even a bad offer, because I was already willing to pay that. This is the sort of act I've seen before from the shady ponies, but this is Pinkie Pie we're talking about here. Maybe there's a good reason for why she's acting like this. In any case, I'm not one to look a gift pony in the mouth.

"All right then," Cash said, shaking her hoof, "let's go wrote this up."

"Cool!" Pinkie said. "I'll meet you over there!" She happily bounced her way over to the payment counter.

"That's my line, Pinkie," Cash muttered to himself as he walked toward the counter.

After Cash handed the pink pretty party pony her money and she went on her merry way, his morning began to resume its normal pace. All the ponies he expected to see throughout his day came and went: stallions who considered picking up this or that piece of jewelry for the mare on their minds, carpenter ponies who debated if they needed that box of shiny like-new tools or not, and the occasional collectors who searched high and low for that coin, stamp or gem that would complete their hoards.

He did not expect the midnight blue pegasus colt who slipped inside his store without so much raising anypony's attention until he stood before Cash at his counter. One moment Cash was pony-watching and thinking to himself, and the next this shadow of a pegasus seemed to appear out of thin air in front of him. His coat looked to be about the same color as Princess Luna's, and he wore a set of equally dark blue saddlebags emblazoned with a black lightning bolt.

"Hello," he said to Cash in an exotic accent.

"Hello," Cash said back.

"I am Indigo," the colt said. "I have something you may be interested in buying."

"Perhaps," Cash countered, "if you are interested in selling."

Indigo looked at Cash quizzically and asked, "You are not trying to patronize me, are you?"

"Oh no, no," Cash answered. "Just trying to break the ice a little, you know."

"Ah," the colt said. "I see."

"So what've you got for me?" Cash asked.

"I have," Indigo said as he put his nose into the saddlebag and pulled out a length of blue material that flew like a flag in the air before settling down on the counter, "this."

"Okay," Cash said as he got a closer look at the item. It turned out that the material had a hood and sleeves as well as a double gray-line trim that ran along most of the seams. "This looks like a pegasus flight suit. And right here," he said as he pointed with one hoof to a spot on the top of the suit between the wing slits, "it looks like it's been autographed."

"Indeed," Indigo told the pawnbroker. "This is the flight suit worn by Silver Streak when he won the Eighth Wonderbolt Grand Prix. That was the year he set the record race time, so he signed his flight suit for the occasion."

"Really?" Cash asked. "That's pretty awesome. How did you come to get this thing?"

"Silver Streak was my uncle," the pegasus said with pride. "He gave this suit to his brother, my father, who passed it on to me."

"And why are you selling it?" Cash asked.

"Alas, I am in need of money," Indigo said. "I have nopony to pass this treasure on to; otherwise, I would not consider parting with it."

It's unfortunate when a pony brings in a family treasure to my shop because they need the money, Cash said in another on-camera interview. I see it all the time in this business. But this piece isn't like granny's old necklace, and this guy isn't just Joe pony from down the way: this suit and this pegasus who brought it in are part of the Wonderbolts' racing legacy. I'd love to have this on display in my shop. If I can get this guy to part with the suit for the right price, I could get collectors from all over the land and sky beating down my door for it. All I need to do is get some more intel on it from somepony who keeps their head in the clouds more than I do.

"So, you said your uncle was a Wonderbolt, huh?" Cash asked Indigo with a hint of skepticism in his voice. "To be honest, your story is kind of a common theme in here. I get ponies all the time who bring in their stuff saying their grandma or second cousin twice removed was some big shot pony who..."

"What exactly are you saying, pawnbroker?!" Indigo cut him off indignantly as he stomped his hoof on the wood floor. "That I am like those other ponies, willing to weave any story and use any means necessary to put more coins in my satchel? Rest assured, I stand for nopony who would cower behind the great Wonderbolt name for any reason whatsoever!"

"Hey now, ease up!" Cash told the infuriated pony. "You know what? Neither do I. I've go no respect for them. But we've been talking awhile and I can tell that what you have here really is something special. That's why I would love to have an expert come down to tell me a little more about your uncle's suit."

"You need an expert to tell you about my uncle's suit?" Indigo asked.

"Well, I don't need an expert, because I could probably spend a few hours pouring through my encyclopedias learning all kinds of facts and statistics about Silver Streak," Cash reasoned. "Or we could talk for hours about your uncle and not get any closer to making a deal here. But I know a pegasus who can tell me everything I need to know about this suit in, like, ten seconds flat. If you wanna sit tight here for a few minutes I can send for her. Would that be okay with you?"

Indigo stood silent for a moment, then spoke. "I do understand your perspective. I, too, would not be so quick to trust a pony with a similar story." He nodded at Cash and said, "Very well, then. I will wait for your expert. I look forward to her evaluation."

"Excellent," Cash said. "I'll send for her now. This is definitely something she'll want to see. Hey, Derpy!"

Derpy flew over to the two of them and asked, "Yes, Mr. Cash, sir?"

Indigo took one look at the goofy gray pegasus and chuckled a little. "This is your expert?" he asked.

"No, no, she's going to get my expert," Cash said, then looked at Derpy. "This guy here has a Wonderbolts flight suit I need some more information on. I think you know who to find for this."

"I'm on it, boss!" Derpy said before she gave a goofy salute and flew for the door.

"And tell her to ease up on the entrance this time!" Cash called after her.

After ten minutes, she flew back into the shop. "Here she comes!" she said. "Everypony might want to hold on to some..."

Derpy's warning was cut off by a six-colored blur that blasted through the front door and sent her spinning. It circled the showroom and whipped up wind gusts that blew papers off of all the counters. Old Money was working on a particularly large stack of paperwork that was toppled and spread everywhere by the cyclone. He grumbled something to himself as he started picking his papers off the floor with his mouth.

The blur stopped to reveal Equestria's guardian of loyalty floating in midair, wings flapping and mouth flashing a wide grin.

"Somepony call for a Wonderbolts expert?" she asked.

"Nice entrance, Rainbow Dash," Cash complimented her. "You didn't knock over any of my breakables this time."

At the front door, Derpy stopped spinning and fell over.

I'm Rainbow Dash. The one and only, she said in her on-camera interview as she kept flying in and out of the frame. Cash calls me in when he wants to know more about stuff having to do with sports or games, or pretty much anything pegasi-related. But the Wonderbolts are my specialty. Yeah, I'm pretty knowledgable about all that other stuff. But if it flies, it's fast and it's awesome, then I'm the subject-matter expert!

"Aha!" Indigo said. "So this is your great expert, Mr. Cash. I'm honored to make your acquaintance, Miss Rainbow Dash. Your reputation precedes you."

"Thanks!" she said. "And it's Dash, just Dash."

"And I am Indigo," he said. "I've brought in something I wish to sell to Mr. Cash, and he has asked your help in determining its historic and monetary value. If you are half as versed in the Wonderbolts as Mr. Cash says you are, then I shouldn't have to explain anything about this item before you begin your evaluation."

"Ooh, a challenge!" Dash said. "All right then, try me."

They both looked at Cash. He looked at Dash, motioned to the flight suit on the counter and said, "Well, Dash, have at it."

The rainbow-maned pony walked up to Indigo's suit and started to look closely at it. She started at the hood and worked her way back as she scrutinized every patch, rip and tear on the suit. She spent more than a few minutes looking over the autograph alone. Finally, she finished and looked at Indigo.

"How in Cloudsdale did you get Silver Streak's flight suit?" She asked with stunned curiosity.

"My father gave it to me," Indigo explained. "It was given to him by his brother, the Wonderbolt himself."

"Silver Streak was your uncle?!" Dash asked excitedly. Her eyes went wide and she said. "Oh my gosh, that's so cool!"

"Um, Dash?" Cash interrupted her moment of jubilation. "You're here as an expert, not a fan."

"Right," she said as she composed herself. "Got it."

Indigo turned to Cash and said, "You were right. She does seem to know her stuff."

"That's why she's my expert," Cash said. "I figured Dash would know who it belonged to when she saw the autograph. I couldn't make it out, myself."

"Well, I do know pretty much all of their autographs forwards and backwards," Dash said. "Most of them aren't known for signing their names all that clearly. But I didn't need to see the autograph to know this was Silver Streak's flight suit."

"Oh?" Indigo asked. "Why is that?"

"Well," she said as she pointed with one hoof to the striped trim around the suit, "the trim here pretty much gave it away. Both of these two stripes look gray, but that's just because the suit is old and faded. When this suit was new, these stripes were silver and white, which was the trademark pattern worn only by Silver Streak. The style of the suit is also dated, I mean way dated. This wouldn't be connected somehow to the Eighth Wonderbolt Grand Prix, would it?"

"It is," Indigo said. "You are looking at the suit he wore then."

"I knew it!" Dash exclaimed. "I'm on fire today! That was a big year for the Grand Prix, when Silver Streak set the record time that went unbroken for, like, ten years! Cash, you've gotta buy this suit from him! Fans and collectors will go crazy for this thing!"

"Fans maybe, like you, Dash?" he asked. "How much would you pay for this?"

"Weellll," she said as she shifted her attitude from excitement to nonchalance, "I myself wouldn't be too interested, only because I know I'll earn my own suit someday. But if you find the right pony for it, this suit could probably sell for about seven or eight hundred bits."

"Seven or eight hundred?" Indigo asked. "That is a much lower estimate than I expected. Why so low, Dash?"

"Listen, Indigo," Dash said, "as cool as this suit is - and believe me, it's way cool - all of its value is in its history. Pegasi would love to see this thing just to be reminded of the awesomeness of a true Wonderbolt champion. But the fact is it's just an old suit with an autograph on it. Nopony will ever wear it and it's going to take up space just to show off the autograph. If you really, really need the money that bad, then I won't stop you from selling it to my friend Cash here. But if it were me in your position right now, I'd maybe think twice about letting this treasure go someplace where only one pony would enjoy it."

Indigo let Dash's words sink in for a moment, then he said, "I see. Your words have revealed a truth that I failed to acknowledge."

"Sorry if I took the wind out of your wings, Indigo," she said.

"Quite alright," he replied. "You speak with wisdom beyond your years, Dash. Thank you for coming here and sharing your thoughts on my uncle's legacy. I think one day you will become a Wonderbolt as great as he."

"Gee, thanks!" Dash said excitedly as she flapped her wings and lifted off the floor again. "And now, if you ponies will excuse me, I've got some clouds to chase. See ya, Cash!"

"Thanks for coming in, Dash!" He called, but the blur had already rocketed out of the store and left more scattered papers in its wake. He turned to Indigo, who still had a serious look on his face, and asked, "You probably don't even want me to make you an offer, do you?"

"I'm afraid not," he said. "I cannot sell this to you in good conscience. The memory of my uncle is embedded too deep within the stitches of this suit for me to part with it like this." He pulled the flight suit off of the counter and placed it back into his saddlebag. "I am sorry I wasted your time. It was foalish of me to even consider putting a price on this."

"Well hey, for what it's worth, I'm glad you brought it in," Cash said. "Maybe there's a museum or historical society that would love to have this if you ever consider donating it."

"Perhaps," Indigo said. "I will see. Thank you for your time, Mr. Cash."

"No problem," he said as he extended his hoof to shake Indigo's. "You take..."

But Indigo was gone, disappeared as quickly and silently as he arrived.

"...care now."

Dash was absolutely right, Cash admitted on-camera. There are things to be collected and there are things to be shared, and that suit deserves to be out there for ponies to see and be inspired by. I'm just glad she came by to help Indigo realize what his uncle's legacy is really worth.

As the day went on, items big and small were bought and sold. Everything that changed hooves at the shop needed the right forms filled out with it, and during the lunch hour lull in customer traffic was when the staff caught up on their paperwork.

Cash took this opportunity to inventory the big kitchen mixer Pinkie Pie sold him. This meant that he had to carry the monstrosity on his back into the office nook area. He noticed, as his hooves shuffled and his back strained under the weight of the solid porcelain and metal, that Old Money, Big Hoss and Derpy were also in the office. They all appeared to be too preoccupied with either playing cards or doing paperwork to notice his struggle to keep his balance or his spine intact.

"Ahem," Cash grunted, which caught the others' attention. "Oh, it's okay...everypony...don't you all...get up at once."

"Fine, we won't," Old Money grumbled, then went back to playing cards.

Cash rolled his eyes, then looked at the two ponies who were actually working and asked, "Seriously, guys...a hoof here?"

The two got up to help Cash get the mixer off his back. Hoss lifted it from the bottom using his forelegs while Derpy flew above them and helped steady it as they set it down on Cash's desk.

"Whew!" Cash said as he sat down, wiped his brow and arched his back. It made an audible pop and Cash exhaled in relief. He looked at Old Money and said, "At least some ponies are actually working around here!"

"I was here today before any of y'all, so don't even start," the old stallion said without even looking up from his cards.

"So, Pop," Hoss said, motioning to the mixer. "What is this thing?"

"Hoofmatic mixer," Cash said as he pulled an inventory tag out of his desk and began filling it out with a quill in his mouth. "Pinkie Pie sold it to me this morning," he said between clenched teeth as he wrote.

"Oh, that loopy pony was in here again?" Hoss asked.

"Yeah, she can be quite..." Cash said, then he stopped and dropped the quill out of his mouth. He looked at Hoss and asked, "'Again?' What do you mean, 'again?'"

"Well, she was here a few days ago," Hoss said. "Remember that set of jade porcelain bowls we just got?"

"Yeah?"

"She sold me those."

"She sold you those?" Cash asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, positive," Hoss said. "She gave a great price on them."

"Oh, wow, you too?" Derpy cut in unexpectedly.

The two earth ponies turned to the pegasus, who now looked sheepish for saying anything. Defensively, she flapped her wings and floated just above them.

"Derpy," Cash asked as he looked up at her, "you bought something from Pinkie, too? You've only been working here a couple weeks. What were you even doing making purchases by yourself?" He looked at Hoss and asked, "Did you know about this?" Hoss shook his head.

"Well, you know," Derpy reasoned, "it was Pinkie Pie. It's not like anypony ever had a reason not to trust her."

"Derpy," Cash asked, "what did you buy from her and when did you buy it?"

"A silver cake platter and serving set," Derpy answered. "Last week."

This is what I was afraid of, Cash said on-camera as he confessed one of his biggest business fears. Every so often a pony comes into a pawn shop to sell something of his. Then he does it again a few days later. And again a few days after that. It becomes a weird pattern, and most of the time a broker isn't smart enough to catch on to what's happenning until it's too late. That's when he's left with an inventory full of stolen merchandise and the cops kicking down his door. And that absolutely destroys a pawn shop's business. I never would have expected Pinkie to be capable of doing this, but that's what all the signs are pointing to now. And now, I have to do damage control.

"Okay, first things first, the silver and the bowls," Cash said. "Are they still in the shop? Did anypony sell them?"

"Dad, of course they're still here," Hoss said. "Nothing leaves the shop without getting checked out first."

"Right," Cash said. "Okay then, next step, let's talk to the other brokers and get a message to the night guy about Pinkie. She's been coming in every few days now, so if she does come back..."

His orders were interrupted by a hard, grating sound coming from the front of the store. The sound, which was like metal scraping against wood, kept starting and stopping but seemed to get closer to the office nook. Hoss took one look in the direction of the noise, then turned back to Cash.

"Um, Dad," Hoss whispered. "I don't think we'll have to wait that long."

Cash walked to the counter and found the source of the commotion: Pinkie Pie was back, and this time she was pushing a large cubic object bigger than her across the entire length of the store. Cash could see her head pressed against the object and the look of sheer determination on her face every time she pushed the thing closer to his counter. He shook his head, and he knew what had to be done.

"Pinkie!" Cash yelled over the scraping. "Hey, Pinkie Pie!"

The scraping stopped, and Pinkie looked to to see Cash as she caught her breath. "Hey, Cash," she said between breaths. "Long time...no see..."

"Pinkie?"

"Yah-huh?"

"Is that an oven?"

"Yah-huh."

"Are you here to sell that oven?"

"Yah-huh."

"Pinkie," Cash said, his voice becoming more serious, "did you push that oven here all the way from Sugarcube Corner?"

"Uh," Pinkie said, her voice becoming quieter. "Um, yes?"

"Now, Pinkie," Cash said as he slowly walked from behind the counter toward the pink pony. "I need you to tell me the truth. Does this oven - or did the mixer, bowls or silver you sold us - belong to you or not?"

Pinkie's head started to hang low, as if she wanted to disappear. "Well," she struggled to get out the words, "I, um..."

Cash laid one hoof on her shoulder and said, "Come with me, Pinkie. Let's talk about this." Pinkie's lip trembled and she nodded, then the two walked behind the counters and toward the back room.

Just then, Big Hoss looked right at the camera and said, "Hey, you." He gave the camera a "come here" motion, and it came right up to Hoss. For a moment Hoss was out of the frame and mumbling something to an unseen pony, until he clearly said, "follow them, go, go." The camera then left Hoss's view, went toward the back room and floated down the hall. It came upon Cash and Pinkie in the middle of a conversation and stayed to capture the rest of the moment.

"I was going to get it all back!" Pinkie said.

"What do you mean, 'get it all back,' Pinkie?" Cash asked. "When you sell us something, I mark up its price. Then it goes on the floor for anypony to buy. How in the world were you going to get all the money it would have cost to buy back everything you sold me?"

Pinkie didn't look at Cash. Her shimmering eyes were full of tears as she stared down at the floor in front of her. "It wasn't supposed to be like this," she said, her voice trembling. "I only meant to take the little things, just the little things I thought I could get back." She blinked, and two glistening teardrops trickled down her face. "But the little things, they started turning into bigger things," she said in a tiny, broken voice. "I couldn't stop..."

"But you have to stop," Cash said. "Little things or not, you stole them from the Cakes' business. That's their livelihood, it's how they take care of themselves and their foals. And now I have stolen merchandise in my shop, which means my business could get shut down. The Cakes have always trusted you, but you went and betrayed their trust. And you betrayed my trust, too. Trust isn't something you can buy back, Pinkie."

"I know, I know!" She cried, letting all of her tears and remorse pour out of her. "I'm so sorry, Cash, I really am!"

"I know you are, Pinkie," Cash said as he put a hoof on the bawling pony's shoulder again, then brought her closer in for a hug as she kept crying. After a few minutes he said, "You need to tell Cup and Carrot about everything. They have to hear how sorry you are, too. Do they know their stuff has been missing?"

"N-no, I *sniff* d-don't think so," she said.

"Okay then," Cash said. "Look, if you want me to, we'll both go to Sugarcube Corner and I'll help you make peace with them about this. Would that help, maybe?"

"Y-yah-huh," Pinkie said, trying to compose herself. "T-they're catering a lunch t-today, they'll be back this afternoon."

"Good, I'll be there," Cash said. "I Pinkie promise."

Pinkie looked at Cash with damp eyes, smiled a little and said, "C-cross your heart, hope to fly?"

"Stick a cupcake in my eye," Cash said as he put a hoof over his left eye. By now Pinkie smiled a little bigger and she had dried her eyes. Cash looked a little closer into those eyes and said, "You're a good pony, Pinkie. A little hard to comprehend sometimes, but still a good pony. How in Equestria did you even get into this mess?"

"Hmm," Pinkie thought aloud for a moment, then said, "I guess it all started a couple weeks back when I was foalsitting at the Cakes'. I wanted to practice and show the foals my favorite new party game: musical badminton."

"Uh...musical badminton?"

"Yeah, it's super fun," she said as her mood brightened again. "It combines the unpredictability of musical chairs with the outdoor competitive spirit of lawn sports! Only I couldn't use the lawn because it was raining then, so I had the net and the chairs and everything set up in the living room and I practiced playing against myself."

"Why in the world did you do that?"

"Because it was raining, Cashie, I just said that!"

"No, I got that, but you were playing against," Cash started to repeat her, but stopped. He said, "Never mind. So what happened next?"

"So I had the music going and I was zipping from side-to-side," she explained. "I must have been playing for fifteen minutes straight keeping the...the thing...in the air. Oh, what's that thing called?"

"The birdie? The shuttlecock?"

"Yes, that thing! So at one point I hit it a little too hard, so I dove for it and," she abruptly stopped telling her story. Then she asked, "You know those collectable Maretese Falcons?"

"Huh? Maretese Falcons?" Cash asked. "I know about them. I have one for sale in the shop."

"Oh good, you still have it!" Pinkie said, relieved. "I need to buy it to replace the Cakes' falcon!"

Cash's eyes went wide as he asked, "The Cakes had a Maretese Falcon? Did you break it?"

"I didn't mean to! It was an accident!" She said, "See, I hit it too hard, and then I dove for it but it was too late!"

"Dove for what, the shuttlecock?"

"No, the birdie!"

"The badminton birdie?"

"No, the Maretese birdie!" Pinkie exclaimed in exasperation. "Come on, Cashie, try and keep up!"

"I'm trying, but I can't quite put together what happened as you're telling it."

"Okay then," Pinkie said slowly, "let me tell you like I'm telling a kindergartener: I hit the badminton birdie too hard, which hit the Maretese birdie on the shelf. It fell off and I tried to catch it, but it hit the floor and broke into many teeny-tiny-itsy-bitsy pieces. Got it?"

"Huh. Well if you just said it like...wait a minute." Cash paused, then continued, "Those statues are really heavy and a badminton birdie barely weighs anything. How did it manage to knock the falcon over?"

"Regulation musical badminton birdies are heavier than plain badminton birdies," she explained simply.

Cash stood silently for a moment, then said, "Pinkie, one of these days I'm going to have to ask you to plan a party for me, just so I can figure you out a little better."

"You should! That'll be so much fun!" Pinkie exclaimed. Then she remembered why they were talking and said, "After that I looked all over for a falcon to replace it. The one in your shop is the only other falcon in town, but I didn't have enough money for it! Then one thing led to another and...oh, Cash, what am I going to do?"

"Don't worry, Pinkie, I said I'd help you out," Cash said, "In the meantime, we better do something about the giant hole in their kitchen where the oven used to be."

Pinkie gasped. "Omigosh, the oven!" she exclaimed. "And they'll be back really, really soon! Okay, I'll go take care of that and I'll see you later on today. Remember, Cashie, Pinkie promise!"

"Whoa, hold on," Cash said, "that thing must weigh a ton, you sure you don't..."

His question was cut off by a pink blur that left a small dust cloud behind where she stood.

"...need some help?"

Cash walked back out into the shop and expected to see and hear Pinkie pushing the giant oven back the way she came. But both she and the oven were gone.

"Hey guys," Cash called to Hoss, Derpy and Old Money, "did any of you see how she got it out of here?"

"How who got what out of here?" Hoss asked.

"Pinkie and the oven," Cash said. "You guys must have heard her lug the thing out."

Hoss shrugged and said, "Sorry, pops. I saw and heard nothing. Thought she was with you the whole time."

"What the...how could you...she was right..." Cash tried to find the words, but instead he groaned and gave up. "Hoss, get the paperwork for those things together. Derpy, get the bowls and silver out of the inventory. Dad, I need you to take our Maretese Falcon off the shelf and start a layaway on it. I'm going to get our wagon from out back." Cash turned to walk out of the store, then turned around and yelled, "And when I come back in with it, will somepony please help me load up that big buckin' mixer?!"

In about fifteen minutes Cash had the store's wagon loaded with the mixer, bowls and silver, and was on his way to Sugarcube Corner. While he was out, an aquamarine unicorn with a harp cutie mark browsed along the glass counters in the store. Big Hoss walked up to the counter she was looking at and greeted her.

"Hey there," Hoss said, "is there anything I can help you with today?"

The unicorn looked up at Hoss. "Oh, hi!" she said. "Actually, I'm just looking around at all this neat stuff you..." she stopped at one point and her eyes went a little wider. She pointed at the case with one hoof and asked, "Wow, what are those?"

Hoss looked down at what she was pointing at. "What, those?" he asked. "Second shelf?"

"Yes, yes, what are they?"

Hoss smiled a little as he slid the rear glass panel aside and pulled out the item the unicorn asked about. He talked about why he was smiling in an on-camera interview:

How does my dad knows everything about everything in this store? He's an egghead: he's constantly reading so he's up to speed on this stuff. How do I know everything about everything in this store? My dad the egghead is constantly telling me everything he's learned in those books of his. And now, finally, is looks like all that yakity yakking might pay off for this item.

"These beauties here," Hoss said as he laid out two long pieces of chain-mail on the counter, "are griffin gauntlets."

"Griffin...gauntlets?" the unicorn said, now more curious than ever. "You mean, like, gloves?"

"Well, not exactly," Hoss said. "Gauntlets like this were actually part of an armor worn by the griffins hundreds of years ago. This particular pair, I believe, was found in the highlands north of Canterlot, close to the Griffin Kingdoms."

"Oh, wow," the customer said as she admired the gauntlets. "The metal has so many loops in it."

"Yep, that's the chain-mail," Hoss continued. "A griffin smith would have worked himself to the bone shaping, linking and fusing all of that metal together. Look at all the work that must have went into these gauntlets; the smith who made these also probably had to make the rest of the armor for the griffin from head to tail, all tailored to fit the individual warrior."

"Incredible," the unicorn said, captivated by Hoss's story. "These came from a warrior?"

"Well, that's what we're pretty sure of," he said. "We had these authenticated by an expert from Canterlot. They're definitely from the time period, but whether or not they came from an actual warrior we can't say one hundred percent. The biggest reason for that is the condition these gauntlets are in: they're both in one piece. Believe it or not, when archaeologists find griffin armor in the field, the gauntlets are the hardest pieces to locate."

"Really?" the unicorn asked. "Why's that?"

"Simple, really," Hoss said. "They were always the pieces that got tore up the most. Think about it: the griffin's primary weapon is its claws. The talons came out of the gauntlets here," he said, pointing at the holes in the tips of the digits, "and the chain-mail protects the rest of the claw all the way up to its torso. When these guys fought, they were all like this and this with their talons." Hoss sat and leaned back, then waved his forelegs to imitate slashing motions. "Then their enemies would fight back and they'd shield themselves like this." He raised his forelegs up again to cover his face. "So the gauntlets were part of their offense and defense, which made them fall apart quicker than the rest of the armor. When our expert looked at these, the best theories she gave as to why they're in such good condition is that these were either a spare set or they belonged to a griffin who didn't see as much combat, like a sentry or something."

"Wow..." she said, still staring at the gauntlets. She looked up and asked Hoss, "Can I, um, touch them?"

Hoss shrugged and said, "Sure, you can touch them. They won't break or anything."

The unicorn put her hoof over the gauntlets, then stopped and asked, "This might sound a little weird, but, is it okay if I put them on? I promise I won't run off with them."

"I'd tackle you to the floor before you had the chance," Hoss said. She gave him a surprised and slightly scared look. Hoss realized what he said and recovered. "I mean, uh, go ahead, knock yourself out."

The unicorn went ahead and slipped one hoof into the gauntlet sleeves, then slipped on the other. She lifted them up and allowed the sleeves to slip as far back as they would go. They looked like baggy metal socks around her forelegs. Surprised at the weight of the gauntlets, she sat back on her hind legs to keep her balance as she admired them.

"Whoa," she said. "Heavy..."

"They do look good on you," Hoss remarked.

She smiled and waved her forelegs around as she admired how the hundreds of tiny metal links shimmered and made noises like satchels of coins being shook about. Then she took a closer look at the ends of her hooves. The gauntlets' digits, intended to be filled with slender talons, lay empty and folded flat upon her hooves. Her smile faded a little and she lifted one of her eyebrows as if she were contemplating something. Looking on the counter between her and Hoss, she saw a quill and reached for it.

The metal clattered on the countertop as she put the gauntlet on top of the quill and tried to pick it up. She lifted her hoof, but the quill stayed. The unicorn tried scooping it up, but it just slid away from her.

"Um, miss?" Hoss asked as she attempted again and again to maneuver the gauntlets. "Everything okay with those?"

She stopped, then looked again at her flat hooves with the useless metal digits on top of them. Frowning in dejection, she said, "Well, I guess so. They're just...not what I was hoping for." She put her hooves down on the counter and shook them out of the gauntlets, then looked at Hoss and said, "Thanks for showing them to me."

"No problem," Hoss said as he put them back into the display case. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No," the unicorn said as she looked at her bare hooves and sighed. "I don't think so."

"Okay then," Hoss said. "Well, feel free to keep looking around and let us know if you need anything else."

"Mhmm, thanks," she said as she walked off.

Okay, so I didn't make the sale, Big Hoss admitted on-camera. But this just goes to show that if you know what it is you're selling, the more interested they'll be in it. If I didn't tell her about all that warrior history and junk about the gauntlets she probably wouldn't have been interested in them enough to put them on. I still don't know about the thing she was doing with the quill, but I doubt she had a set of centuries-old griffin armor at home that was missing the gauntlets. I mean, why else would a pony want what's basically a metal pair of gloves?

Later that afternoon, the crew was in the office nook again; Old Money with his cards, and Hoss and Derpy doing paperwork. Cash trotted in through the front door and walked behind the counter into the office area. Hoss looked up from his paperwork and saw Cash had a small white box balanced on his back.

"Whoa there, boss," he called to Cash, "that looks mighty heavy. You sure you got that alright?"

"Ha ha, very funny," Cash said with a smirk. "Yeah, sure, why don't you come give me a hoof with these cupcakes?"

"Cupcakes?" Hoss asked.

"Cupcakes!" Derpy exclaimed as she abandoned the paperwork.

"Somepony say cupcakes?" Old Money said, getting up from his cards.

Derpy flew over Cash, grabbed the box, put it on Cash's desk and opened the box. Within seconds the three hungry ponies each had a pink-frosted cupcake in their hooves.

Cash looked at them chowing down on the sweet treats and said to himself, "It figures. Ask them for help and nopony moves, but say cupcakes and the whole swarm descends." He sat down at his desk and helped himself to a cupcake.

"So," Hoss mumbled as he gulped the last of his cupcake down, "I'm guessing these came from Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie didn't sell you these, too, did she?"

"No, no," Cash said as he took his first bite. "Cup and Carrot gave me these after Pinkie and I explained her...issue to them."

"How did that go?" Hoss asked.

"Pretty well, I think, considering Pinkie basically confessed to stealing and selling off their property. They didn't even know anything went missing until we talked to them about it. And yeah, they were pretty upset with her about it at first. But we all agreed that Pinkie had made a mistake and she shouldn't be fired."

"I'd fire any one of you if you stole from me," Old Money grumbled as he finished his cupcake. "And that's all I'd do if you were lucky."

"Good to know, gramps," Hoss said. Then he asked Cash, "So what're they doing with her?"

"They're docking her pay for awhile to cover the balance on everything she sold us, and to make layaway payments on the falcon statue," Cash said. "Pinkie gave me all she could spare and the Cakes took the rest out of her wages. Other than that, I'm not sure what else they'll do, but I know she'll keep her job."

"So what does the statue have to do with Pinkie, son?" Old Money asked.

"Basically, this whole mess happened because she accidentally broke one that belonged to the Cakes and she needed the money to replace it," Cash explained as he finished his cupcake.

"She better make good on those payments," Old Money said. "That's a real high-bit item of ours."

"I'm sure she will, Dad," Cash said as he picked up another cupcake. "They're all good ponies over there, you know, even Pinkie. She works hard and busts her flank for them, and the Cakes know that. If fact, Pinkie was the one who was most upset about the whole thing. At least they didn't lose any productivity over there because of this."

"They would have if we bought that stove she brought here," Hoss said. "Speaking of, is that back over there now?"

"Yep, I saw it where it was supposed to be in the kitchen," Cash said. "Don't even ask how Pinkie took care of that so fast."

"And all the stuff she sold us, it's back over there, too?"

"Yep, I showed the Cakes the invoices and we checked everything off. Everything's accounted for."

"Good. That settles that," Hoss said as he went back to his paperwork. He slid one piece of paper aside with his hoof, then glanced at the paper under it. He furrowed his eyebrows, took a closer look at it, then said, "Whoa, wait a second here." He turned to Derpy and asked, "Hey, what's this?"

"Um, what's what?" she asked.

"Yeah, what's what?" Cash echoed.

"Derpy, was the silver the only thing you bought from Pinkie?"

"Umm," she thought aloud. A moment of realization flashed across her face and she said, "Oh wait! Hold on, guys, be right back!" She flew off toward the back room.

"Hoss, what's going on?" Cash asked. "I thought we had this taken care of."

"Me too, but this must've got lost in the paperwork," Hoss explained as he looked closer at the paper. "It's an invoice from last week. Apparently Pinkie also sold Derpy a baker's hat, apron and whisk."

"What?"

"Ta-da!" Derpy exclaimed as she returned, floating in midair wearing the hat and apron, and holding the whisk aloft like a mighty sword. "Check out my Night Mare Night costume! It's so much better than my costume last year."

Cash shook his head and said, "Derpy, you have to take that back to the Cakes. Bring the invoice."

"Aww," she said as she floated back to the floor and started putting everything together.

Hoss looked at Cash and asked, "You think they'll understand?"

"Understand who, Pinkie or Derpy?" Cash asked back. "Even on good days, I can't figure either one of them out."

"Hey, you know what?" Derpy asked. "This gives me such a good idea! Tomorrow morning, I'm bringing home-baked muffins!"

Cash sighed, then said under his breath, "Well, hopefully they'll be better than her coffee..."

Episode 3: Cash for Cutie Marks

I'm Cash Money, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my sire, Old Money; and my colt, Big Hoss.

Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned in all my years in Ponyville, is that you never know what is going to trot through that door.

This is Ponyville Pawn Stars.

Up until about the middle of his day, there wasn't anything remarkable going on at Cash's pawn shop. Ponies came and went, bought and sold, and browsed around just like any other day. The moment all of that changed came while he was pony-watching in his store again. He heard voices that caught his attention:

"See? Ah told you it was in here!" A filly exclaimed.

"Yeah? So what?" Another filly questioned.

"Yeah, that doesn't mean anything," yet another filly said.

I get concerned when I think I've got little ones wandering around the store unsupervised, Cash said on-camera. But I know that this is Ponyville and things are pretty safe around here. Well, aside from the occasional monster or demigod that seems to show up every now and then. In any case, when I hear three fillies talking and no adult ponies answering, I ask myself: where are the parents?

Cash walked out from behind the counter and toward the voices to investigate. He turned a corner and came up behind the three fillies: a yellow earth pony with a giant bow in her strawberry mane, a white unicorn with a lavender mane and an orange pegasus with a cropped purple mane and tiny wings. They were all looking at a plow.

"But it's just like ah told you," the yellow one said, "that's Farmer Brown's old plow. Yesterday ah saw him with a big an' shiny new one and ah asked Big Mac what happened to his old plow. He told me that Farmer Brown got rid of it. An' everypony knows that when a big pony says they 'got rid' of somethin' it means they threw it away."

"So if Farmer Brown threw his plow away," the unicorn said, "then why is it in this store and not the dump?"

"Are you saying that whoever runs this store fished this plow out of the dump?" the pegasus asked. "And now he's selling it?"

"Exactly!" The yellow one exclaimed. "He must be a garbage pony! Maybe all of the stuff in here's from the dump!"

"I don't know," the unicorn said as she sniffed the air. "It smells a little weird in here, but not stinky like the dump." She stepped closer to the plow and sniffed it. "And this thing doesn't smell like the dump either."

"Well," Cash spoke up and made the fillies jump, "that's because I picked it up before it got there."

The fillies turned around and looked up at Cash wide-eyed. "Goodness, mister garbage pony, sir," the yellow one said, "you startled us!"

"I'm no garbage pony, I'm a pawnbroker," Cash said. "There's a big difference."

"That's right," Old Money called from the back, "although that one does talk a lot of trash."

"Aw, can it, Pops!" he yelled back.

"So if you're not a garbage pony, then how did you get Farmer Brown's plow?" the yellow filly asked.

"He sold it to me," Cash explained. "That's what I do here, I buy and sell ponies' things. No garbage in my store, just secondhoof merchandise." He stopped talking, studied the fillies faces for a few seconds and spoke again, "Hey, I know you! You're Apple Bloom, right? Big Mac and Applejack's little sister?"

"Yep, that's me!" the country filly said.

"And you," he said, looking at the white unicorn, "are Sweetie Belle, Rarity's sister, am I right?"

"Uh-huh!" she answered.

"And you're," Cash said to the pegasus before he paused. He furrowed his eyebrows and thought for a moment before he continued. "Hmm. Actually, I'm kind of drawing a blank here. I don't know your name, but I've seen you tearing through Ponyville on your scooter before. I think you almost knocked over my dad yesterday."

"Is THAT pony out there with you, son?!" Old Money bellowed from the back.

"Uh oh," she said. "Um, yes, sir. That's me. Name's Scootaloo."

"I'm Cash, by the way. And don't worry about him back there, he's just old and cranky," he said. Cash looked at all three fillies and asked, "Say, shouldn't somepony be watching you all?"

Just then a country mare called from outside, "Apple Bloooom! Did you an' yer friends go in here?" An orange earth pony with a tri-apple cutie mark wearing a brown Stetson trotted into the store. She turned a corner and found Cash and the fillies. "There y'all are! Tarnation, Apple Bloom, my day is busy enough without you an' yer friends wandering off every time we stop. Howdy there, Mr. Cash! Ah hope my sis an' her friends weren't gettin' in the way of yer business none."

"Not at all, Applejack," he said. "We were just talking about how I came to get Farmer Brown's plow here."

"Hey mister!" Apple Bloom piped up, looking at Cash's flank, "Ah just noticed that yer cutie mark's the same symbol as what's on yer sign outside. Why is that?"

"It's because I'm a pawnbroker. I've always known that I wanted to run a pawn shop," Cash explained. He looked at the orange mare and asked, "So, Applejack, what's going on with you today?"

"Well, Ah'll tell ya," Applejack said, "Mah day is just packed with all kinds of errands an' things I have to do here in town an' back on the farm. Ah'd have more than enough time to get it all done, but Ah plumb forgot about the girls' sleepover at the farm tonight."

"Yeah, sis, ya promised!" Apple Bloom said.

"Ah know, sugarcube," Applejack told her, "an' we'll get to that once Ah get these things done."

"But that'll take forever!" Apple Bloom whined.

"You know, AJ," Cash said, "I've got an idea here that might help you out, if you're okay with it."

"I'm all ears, Cash," Applejack said.

"Well," he said with a sort of hypothetical tone, "what if until your errands and stuff are done, the girls hung out here at the shop?"

"Huh?" the fillies said altogether.

"Do what now?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah, they could stick around here until you're done," Cash offered. "It wouldn't be a problem for me, really. And you know you could trust me, right? I mean, our folks have known each other practically forever."

"Indeed they have," Old Money said in his crusty old stallion voice as he walked up to the group. "Why hello, Miss Applejack. To what do we owe the honor of your lovely presence this mornin'?"

"Oh, just chasin' down my sis an' her friends, Old Money," she replied.

"You know," Old Money said, "you're every bit as pretty as yer Granny Smith was back in my day."

"Aw shucks, sir," Applejack said and blushed. "You're always sayin' that."

"An' it's the honest truth," Old Money said.

"Um, Dad?" Cash asked. "Applejack and I were just discussing a little problem she has here. See, she's got her sis and her friends for the day but she's also got a ton of other stuff to do too. So I suggested that they hang out here so AJ can..."

"Whoa, whoa there, son," Old Money said as he raised a hoof. "Do you even know what you're asking?"

"Sure, pop, I'm asking AJ to help her out," he said.

"But this is a place of business, son. We just can't have three fillies runnin' 'round here doin' whatever, even if Miss Applejack lets us take 'em for the day."

"Hey now, Ah ain't even said yes or no yet!" Applejack chimed in.

While the older ponies debated over this, the camera moved to focus in on Apple Bloom whispering to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, "Hey, girls! C'mere, listen up."

They moved in closer to her, and Sweetie Belle asked, "What is it, Apple Bloom?"

"Ah've got the perfect idea," Apple Bloom said. "Let's work here!"

"What?" Scootaloo asked, taken aback. "Are you crazy?"

"Yeah, have you lost your marbles?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"No, no, hear me out!" Apple Bloom reasoned. "We've been tryin' to get our cutie marks doin' stuff all over this town and we've got nothin' to show for it so far. But we didn't even know this place was here until Ah saw Farmer Brown's plow. Don't y'all see, girls? This could be our chance. Today could be the day we get our cutie marks!"

"Hmm," Sweetie Belle thought aloud. "I suppose it's worth a shot. It is how Mr. Cash got his."

"Yeah!" Scootaloo agreed. "We could be pawnbrokers! I mean, how hard could it be, breaking pawns and stuff?"

"Well, girls, that settles it!" Apple Bloom declared. "Let's do this!"

The fillies and the camera all turned their attention back to the older ponies. Apple Bloom walked closer to Cash and asked, "Um, excuse me, Mr. Cash, sir?" He stopped talking to the others and looked down at her before she continued, "Yeah, the girls an' Ah were talkin', an' we think it's great that ya wanna let us hang out here. But see, we don't wanna impose on yer business none by just, you know, doing whatever we want 'round here. So Ah thought we could make it worth yer while to have us here."

"Oh?" Cash asked, raising an eyebrow. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

"It's simple, really," Sweetie Belle said as she continued their pitch. "You could let us work here for the day! Then we would stay out of everypony's way and we would be helping you with the store. And since we would be here, Miss Applejack can get all of that other stuff done without us slowing her down."

"Yeah!" Scootaloo chimed in. "It helps you, it helps us and it helps AJ! So whaddaya say?"

"Girls, I say you might be getting in over your heads here," Cash said. "Working here isn't..."

"Now just one apple-buckin' minute, son," Old Money said. "These girls might be onto somethin' here."

Cash gave his sire an incredulous look and said, "Dad, you can't be serious. They're fillies."

"They're motivated fillies," Old Money said, "and I'd be more than happy to entertain this notion of theirs. That is, if we could agree on proper compensation for their day's work..."

"Oh don't ya worry 'bout that none, Mr. Old Money, sir!" Apple Bloom spoke up. "We're here for the experience! We'd work for free if it meant getting our cutie marks!"

"Gee thanks, Apple Bloom," Scootaloo whispered to her through gritted teeth.

"Eyes on the prize, Scootaloo," she whispered back.

"Aha! I figured all this might have somethin' to do with those blank flanks of yours. Now let me think," the old pony said as he rubbed his chin with one hoof. "Tell you what, girls: y'all work for free whether you get yer cutie marks or not and I'll promise not to work y'all too hard. An' like y'all said, this'll be a favor to you, to us and to Miss Applejack." He looked at Applejack and said, "The final word, of course, is yours. What do you think?"

The orange earth pony looked down at her sister, who smiled and looked up at her with sweet eyes that seemed to plead her to let them stay. She looked back at Cash and said, "If Ah say yes, then you've gotta give me yer word that you'll have somepony with them while they're here. Remember what Ah told ya about their little club, 'cause my sis an' her friends can be a real hoofful when they're together."

"I've already got somepony in mind, AJ," Cash said. He looked at Old Money and continued, "And in light of my father's ridiculous idea, I'll make extra sure they listen to every direction my employees give them."

Applejack sighed and said, "Well, Ah think they'll be in good hooves here. All right then, they can stay."

"Yay!" the fillies cheered in unison.

Applejack looked at them and said, "All right, girls, y'all better listen to an' obey every word Mr. Cash and his employees tell ya. Ah'll be back at closin' time to take y'all back to the farm for the sleepover. Deal?"

"Deal!" They shouted back.

"Well, Ah best be goin'," she said. "Ah really appreciate yer help, Cash. Ah'll be here to pick 'em up the minute y'all start closin' up shop!"

"Not a problem, AJ!" Cash said. "See you then!"

"Say howdy to yer Granny for me, Miss Applejack," Old Money said.

"Why don't ya come on by the farm an' tell her yerself?" Applejack asked on her way out. "Be seein' y'all!"

"This is gonna be great!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "Today we're gonna be..."

"Cutie Mark Crusader pawnbrokers!" They yelled together. "Yeah!"

Their call to duty left Cash's ears ringing.

Okay, let's recap, Cash said on-camera. This is the first time in the history of the store that my father is allowing fillies to work the counters. I mean, young fillies. Nopony has ever started working here that young. Even Big Hoss and I were older than them on our first day on the job. I've got my suspicions about this, but I really have to know: what in the world was my father thinking?

What my son doesn't understand is that this is a unique opportunity to try something new, Old Money explained on-camera. He sees three little fillies, but I see an investment in the future. We won't know what these girls are capable of until we put them in the thick of it. This might seem like a risky venture, but Ponyville and this store wasn't built upon safe and predictable certainties. In my day times were tough, and my pa had me working at their age. Fillies and colts these days don't know how easy they got it, you know.

"Girls," Old Money said, "welcome to my new apprenticeship pilot program. Let me take y'all to our office so we can get started."

Cash and Old Money led the trio up to the office nook area, where Big Hoss and Derpy were doing paperwork. Hoss looked up from his stack, saw the three fillies and gave Cash a quizzical look.

"I know," he said. "I'll explain."

"Now, if y'all are gonna work here, y'all gotta look like y'all work here," Old Money said. He walked up to a box behind one of the desks, opened it and rummaged around inside. He stuck his face in the box, then pulled out three black uniform shirts with his mouth and tossed them to the fillies. "Those are the smallest ones I got," he said. "Try 'em on."

The three slipped into the shirts, which looked more like dresses on them. "These things are huge," Sweetie Belle said. She took a step forward and one of her rear hooves stepped on the low-hanging hem, which made her stumble and fall forward. As she got back up she grumbled, "Dumb fabric..."

Apple Bloom sniffed the sleeve and remarked, "They smell kinda funny, too."

Scootaloo wriggled about in hers. "And they're super uncomfortable!" she complained. "Where are the wing holes in these things?"

"I'm afraid those are the best we've got for you," Cash told them. "Don't worry about the smell, they're clean. And as for the wing holes, we're a three-generation earth pony business. Wings never became an issue with the uniform until Derpy showed up. Sorry, Scootabout."

"It's Scootaloo," she told Cash as she glared at him.

"Gesundheit," he said. He turned to Hoss and Derpy, then spoke again. "All right, listen up. These three girls here will be our apprentices for the day. From now until the store closes they will be part of our regular operations."

"Dad, I know you're always looking for cheap labor, but this is ridiculous," Hoss said. "What are they going to do here, anyway? Sweep floors and bring customers in with their cuteness?"

"Actually, this was your grandpa's idea," Cash told him. "And they're not sweeping floors. They're going to learn how to be pawnbrokers."

"What?" Hoss asked. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious. They're going to learn all about what we do," Cash said as he looked directly at Hoss. "And they're going to learn it from somepony here who knows the business and knows how to teach it. Somepony who..."

"Oh, no!" Hoss exclaimed as he shook his head. "Uh-uh. Not gonna happen, Pops. There's no way I'm foalsitting three fillies while running an actual business here."

"Hey, you!" Apple Bloom said as she marched up to Hoss. "Jus' so ya know, we don't need no foalsittin' here! We're here to work hard and earn our cutie marks!"

"That's right!" Sweetie Belle said. "Besides, I don't think we could learn anything from you, except how to be all big and grumpy."

"Yeah," Scootaloo chimed in, "where did you learn how to do this job, anyway? Mule school?"

"Atta-girls!" Cash cut in. "You all just learned your first lesson of the day, and that's not to learn anything from Big Hoss here. Besides, he's not the one teaching you." He pointed a hoof at Derpy and said, "She is."

"Really?!" she asked with a big smile and wide eyes.

"Really?" Hoss asked with more than a hint of sarcasm.

"Yes, really," Cash told Hoss. "Derpy's worked here for awhile now, and she's good with the little ones. Why not?"

"Whoohoo!" Derpy cheered as she flew into the air above her bosses' heads.

Hoss shrugged and said, "Eh, whatever. I was gonna duck out and get us some lunch anyhow." He looked down at the store's new apprentices and asked, "Can I get you girls anything? Maybe some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or something?"

"No thanks, Mr. Big Hoss," Apple Bloom said politely. "We had lunch before we came."

"PB and J?!" Scootaloo asked Hoss. "What are we, two?"

"Two-year-olds can't eat peanut butter and jelly!" Sweetie Belle told Scootaloo.

"Well, maybe you couldn't when you were two!" She shot back.

"Girls, girls!" Derpy flew over them and said calmly, "Now, this is a place of business. If you all want to have a good day here, then you need to show Mr. Cash some consideration and not raise a ruckus in his store. Can we do that?"

"Yes, Miss Derpy!" The three sang back.

"Great, then!" She said. "All right, boss, should I get them started right now?"

"Have at it, Derpy," Cash told her. "Just take them to one of the counters and tell them what you know. Then when a customer comes in, let them watch you do business with them. Girls, any questions?"

"Is bein' a pawnbroker hard?" Apple Bloom asked.

"You think we'll sell a lot of stuff?" Scootaloo asked.

"What happened to your mane?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Cash looked at each of them and answered, "Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's fun. I sure hope so. He happened." Cash pointed at Hoss, who looked at them and shrugged.

"Hey, there's a reason you aren't learning this stuff from me," Hoss said.

"They're all yours, Derpy," Cash said.

"Awesome!" Derpy said as she floated back down to the floor and told the fillies, "All right, girls, follow me!"

Hoss watched them walk with glee out of the office area before he shook his head. "This won't end well," he said to himself.

I don't think it's any surprise that the guys at the store don't think that I'm very good at my job, Derpy said on-camera. Maybe it's because I don't take things so seriously around here, or because of my eyes or muffins or something. But now I've got a chance to show Cash that I can do more than just buy and sell junk. I can be a real mentor to these girls and show the guys I can handle the responsibility of teaching three fillies. That'll show 'em who's the one trick pony around here. I mean, how hard can it be?

"Okay, girls," Derpy said, "the first thing I'm going to teach you is how to buy the different kinds of things ponies bring into the shop. This is a big part of our job because everything we buy gets sold again. We don't really want to let anything that comes into the store leave because that's how we make our money! After you've learned everything I can teach you about this, you'll know how to make thousands of bits buying and selling this stuff!"

"Wow!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "That's incredible! You've made thousands doin' this, Miss Derpy?"

"Er, well," Derpy admitted, "I'm, uh, not quite in the thousands range yet. I'm getting close, though. Okay, time to practice! Let's start with, um..." She looked around the counter, then ducked down behind it and came up with a muffin, which she put down in front of her. "This!"

The fillies stepped up to the counter around Derpy. They put their forelegs up on the countertop to boost themselves up and get a closer look at her item. "Um, Miss Derpy? Why do you keep muffins behind the counter?" Sweetie Belle asked her.

"Muffin breaks!" Derpy answered with a big smile on her face. "Now if I brought this muffin in to sell to one of you, how much would you offer me to have it?"

"Hmm," Sweetie Belle thought aloud. Then she asked, "How about one bit?"

"How about a thousand bits?" Apple Bloom asked.

"How long has that been there?" Scootaloo asked.

Derpy looked at the three of them, unsure as to how to interpret their answers. "Um, okay then," she said. "Maybe we need a real-world example so you girls can get a better picture of what I'm talking about." She picked up her muffin, tossed the whole pastry into her mouth, then chewed and swallowed it in one gulp. She looked around to her left and right for a potential customer. A few counters away a blue earth stallion stood and carried a lantern by the handle in his mouth. He set the lantern on the countertop in front of him and looked around for assistance. "Aha! Here we go, girls," Derpy said. "Now just watch what I do and..."

"Howdy, sir!" Applebloom was already in front of the unicorn and greeted him before Derpy could finish. She, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were all lined up with their forelegs on the countertop as they were before. "Welcome to our pawn shop! What can we buy offa you today?" she asked.

The pony gave the fillies a surprised look and asked, "Aren't you girls a little young to be working at a pawn shop?"

"Yes!" Apple Bloom answered. "Yes, we are!"

Sweetie Belle's eyes widened a little, and she turned to ask Scootaloo, "What TV show are we on again?"

"We're on a TV show?" she asked back.

"Of course we are, you dodo!" Sweetie Belle retorted and pointed her hoof straight ahead. "Why else are all these cameras..."

"Oh hello, sir!" Derpy flew up to and greeted the stallion. "I see you've met my apprentices. What can I do for you today?"

"I'd like to get a pawn loan for my lantern, if you don't mind," he told her.

"Why, sure thing!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "Pawn loans are our specialty! We'd be plum delighted to give you one!" She looked at Derpy and asked, "Hey, Miss Derpy, what's a pawn loan?"

"Oh, that's another thing we do here," Derpy said. "See, ponies like this gentlecolt here will bring in something of theirs and use it to borrow money from us. Depending on what their item is, we loan them some money and we hold onto their item for thirty days. They have that long to pay back the loan, plus a little extra money called interest. If they pay us back in thirty days, they get their item back. But if they don't, their item is ours."

"Really?" Apple Bloom asked. "Like, forever?"

"Well no, silly," Derpy said. "Then we get to sell it." She turned her attention back to the stallion. "How big of a loan did you want for this, sir?"

"How does twenty bits sound?" he asked.

Derpy looked over the lantern and nodded. "That sounds good to me," she said. "Let's get you that loan. Follow me!" She picked up the lantern in her mouth and the two of them walked down to the next counter.

The camera view remained trained upon the fillies as Scootaloo looked at her friends and said, "Well, that didn't help us any!"

"Ah know, ah know," Apple Bloom told her, "but that was just our first customer."

"Yeah, and we didn't even do anything!" Sweetie Belle said. "Derpy handled the whole thing."

"She's gotta teach us how to sell stuff," Apple Bloom said, "or else we'll never earn our cutie marks."

Bein' a pawnbroker isn't as fun as Ah first thought, Apple Bloom said in an on-camera interview. She stood with her friends outside the store as they took turns talking to the camera. We've been here for, like, an hour an' nopony else has come to do business with us.

It does seem like a slow day today, Sweetie Belle continued. But Miss Derpy's been really nice and helpful. She seems to know what she's doing at her job.

Yeah, whatever, Scootaloo piped up. I don't know what we're doing here, except twiddling our hooves! I wanna make some deals already!

Back in the store, the girls were starting to become restless. Even Derpy was starting to pace back and forth as she floated through the air.

Apple Bloom sighed. "Miss Derpy, we're bored," she said. "When's a real customer gonna show up?"

"Well, like I said earlier," Derpy told her. "You have to be patient. They're not all going to march up to you at once to buy something. Although," she said as she looked at a couple of the ponies milling about the store, "I think I see somepony who could use a little push in that direction. Just stay right there and watch me."

She walked up to an orange earth mare who stood in front of the jewelry counter and greeted her. "Hello there! Is there something I could help you with today?"

"Hi, um, I'm just browsing, you know," the pony answered.

"Okay then," Derpy said. "But you know, I couldn't help but notice that you've been coming back to this case over and over since you've been in here. If you're interested in our jewelry selection, I'm sure I could help you find something."

"Well," the mare said, "I have been thinking a little about getting some new jewelry. I'm just not sure of what I want..."

"Not to worry!" Derpy told her. "I can open up the case up and let you take a closer look at what we have. And I'm sure my apprentices can help you narrow down your choices!" Right then the three eager and smiling fillies zipped up behind the counter, ready to help.

A short while later the orange mare had bought a golden pendant and was happily wearing it out the door. "Thanks for coming in!" Derpy called after her.

"Well, it's about time we sold something!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "And we didn't even have to wait for her to come to us."

"That's right!" Derpy said. "Sometimes you just have to march right up to them and let them know why you're here. Don't be afraid to give a little push every now and then. That's one of my little secrets."

"Secrets?" Sweetie Belle asked, enamored. "There are, like, secrets to doing this pawnbreaking stuff?"

"Oh, sure!" She continued. "I've picked up on a bunch of them since I started working here. They haven't failed me yet! At least, I don't think so..."

"Could you maybe show us some more of your selling secrets, Miss Derpy?" Apple Bloom asked. "Please?"

"I suppose so," she considered, "but if I tell you all of them then they won't be secrets anymore. Let's see now," she thought aloud as she scanned the customers again. Derpy found a beige earth stallion with a wavy brown mane and beard looking at various pieces of sports equipment on a wall display. "Right there! Get ready to see another one of Derpy's selling secrets in action, girls!" She gleefully trotted over to the browsing pony.

"Hi there!" She greeted him with a cute smile and the best adorable look her walleyes could muster.

"Hey," he said, smiling back.

"Checking out our sports gear, huh?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," he answered. "I'm in the market for a new racket. Gotta keep my tennis game up, you know."

"Oh, I know!" She exclaimed, "I took one look at you and I could tell that you must be a tennis-playing pony. You do have that lean, athletic look about you."

"Well, gee, thanks!" he said as he flashed a big grin.

"I bet you're fast on the court, too, right?" Derpy asked.

"Like lightning!" The tennis pony boasted. "Nopony around here can trip up my game!"

"Well then," Derpy said as she flew up to the top shelf. She picked up an aged tennis racket, brought it down to the customer and passed it to him. "I have to show you this beauty. This is the racket Joe Maneinrow used to win the Canterlot Open about ten years back."

"Oh wow!" He exclaimed as he looked over its worn but sturdy frame. "You can't be serious!"

"I absolutely am!" She affirmed.

"Incredible!" The customer marvled as he gave it a couple of practice swings. "Maneinrow must have thrown this thing on the ground, like, a hundred times during the open. Obviously it paid off for him! How much is it?"

"For you, champ?" Derpy asked. "Four hundred bits. I'll give you the handsome athlete's discount."

"Hmm," he thought aloud. "Four hundred's pretty steep for a racket, even for one this awesome. But if it held together for Maneinrow then it'll work great for me. I think I'll take it!"

"Great! Let's go write this up!" Derpy and the stallion walked over to the register to finish the sale. The girls could only watch wide-eyed as the tennis pony bought the racket from her and walked out the door with it as if he were a pegasus floating on air.

"See, girls?" Derpy asked as she rejoined them.

"Wow," Sweetie Belle said, awestruck.

"I know, right? Sometimes, with the right pony, all you need to do is feed them a few compliments and they'll be eating right out of your hoof!" Derpy explained.

"Wow," Sweetie Belle said again.

Scootaloo shoved her a little and knocked her back into reality. "Quit it, already!"

"Show us another one, Miss Derpy!" Apple Bloom begged, jumping up and down. "Please? Please?"

"Sorry, girls, but that's all I've got right now," she told them.

"Aww..." Apple Bloom said in dejection. "But we're learnin' so much from ya! Can't ya just show us one more?"

"Well," Derpy said pondering, "I suppose I could show you girls one more, but there isn't anypony here for me to do that."

Then, as if on cue, a yellow pegasus with flowing pink hair peeked her head into the shop. She slowly walked in and looked about the store in curiosity. Apple Bloom saw her and got the others' attention.

"Hey, girls, look who it is! Hiya, Miss Fluttershy!" She greeted the mare as they all bounded up to her.

"Hi, Miss Fluttershy!" The other girls echoed.

"Eep! Oh my!" She was startled by the sudden ambush but soon recognized the fillies. "Oh hello, girls! It's nice to see you today. Do you," she said as she looked over the dresslike black shirts they wore, "um, work here?"

"Yep!" Apple Bloom answered. "Today we're pawnbroker apprentices! Miss Derpy's helpin' us earn our cutie marks!"

"Aw, that's so nice of her!" She said. "Say, as long as I have you here, could you maybe help me find something?"

"Sure!" Sweetie Belle said. "What do you need?"

"I need a birdhouse," Fluttershy said. "There's a robin family nesting in my tree, and their eggs just hatched. I thought I would find them a big and cozy place to live so they won't need to work so hard on making their nest bigger."

"We could help you find a birdhouse!" Scootaloo said. "Only...I don't think we know where they are in the store. Could you hold on a minute, Miss Fluttershy?" She trotted over to Derpy and told her what Fluttershy was looking for, then the two of them came back.

"Hey there, Fluttershy!" Derpy greeted her. "Scoot here says you need a birdhouse! I can show you a few we've got right over here."

"Thanks, Derpy, that would be great," she said as they both walked to another part of the store. "I bet these girls are keeping you busy."

"They sure are," Derpy said. "But these fillies are great students! I'm teaching them just about everything I know."

"Oh, that's good," Fluttershy said. "How's Dinky Doo, by the way?"

"She's been great!" Derpy said. "She's been doing really well in school, and I think she's adjusted okay to my new job here. It keeps me from home a couple extra hours more than the post office did, but at least it puts vegetable stew on the table, right? Here we go!" She said as they came upon a few wooden birdhouses hanging from a small potted tree. "Do you think this one will work for the robins?" She asked as she pointed to a large house with two sets of holes and perches in the front.

"Oh yes, this one is perfect!" Fluttershy said with glee. "They'll love it! How much is it?"

"Thirty bits!"

"Okay. Well, I know this is a pawn shop, so I would like to pay only twenty-five for the birdhouse," she said, "if that's okay with you."

"Twenty-five?" Derpy asked. Her ears flopped down, and her voice lost some of its happy tone. "Well, okay, I guess..."

"Is something wrong, Derpy?" Fluttershy asked.

"Oh, I'm just thinking about Dinky again," she said.

"Oh my!" Fluttershy said, suddenly concerned. "Is Dinky okay? I thought you said everything was okay?"

"Oh no, no, Dinky's okay!" Derpy told her. "I just remembered that sweet bread she keeps talking about."

"Huh? What do you mean?" She asked.

"Well, all week she's been asking if I could bring home a loaf of that sweet bread she likes to go with our dinner," Derpy said. "And I tell her, 'of course, honey, I can bring some home from the bakery just as long I get enough in my commission.'"

"Oh?"

"But every day I come up short of having enough," Derpy continued. "It's been a whole week now, and every day I come home without it I have to explain to her why. I think she understands when I tell her."

"Oh?"

"But she gets so sad when I come home without it..." Derpy said, looking down at the floor.

"Oh..." Fluttershy said as she looked down at the floor, too.

"Yeah," Derpy said and sighed. She looked at Fluttershy again and asked, "So, this is the one you wanted to take home, right?"

The fillies watched this exchange intently. "Sweet apple fritters!" Apple Bloom whispered to the other girls, "Derpy's layin' the guilt trip on her!"

"Think it'll work?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Not if Fluttershy uses the Stare on her!" Scootaloo whispered.

"Hmm," Sweetie Belle wondered aloud. "Would that even work on Derpy?"

Fluttershy didn't use the Stare. Instead, she tried to tell Derpy, "Well, no. But I mean, yes, I want to take it home, it's just that, well, I...I..." She looked as if she might start squeaking. Finally, she sighed and said, "Derpy, I can pay you the whole thirty bits."

"Really?" Derpy asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Fluttershy said, nodding. "I'm okay with paying the regular price...especially if it'll help you and Dinky."

"Aww, you're the best, Fluttershy!" Derpy said. "Come on, let's write this up."

Derpy slipped the birdhouse off of the tree and the two pegasi went to complete the sale. Fluttershy left the store with a smile on her face as she carried the birdhouse by the rope it hung from in her mouth. "Thank you, Derpy, tell Dinky I said hello!" She called as she left.

"I sure will!" Derpy called back. "I hope the birdies like the new house!" She turned back to the waiting fillies and said, "And that, girls, is another of Derpy's sale secrets!"

"Guilt?" Apple Bloom asked quizzically.

"No, not exactly," Derpy said as she clarified. "The personal touch! You make yourself part of the deal and it gives you more selling power. The guys here do it all the time." She continued, imitating her bosses' voices, "They're all like, 'I'm Cash Money and I gotta pay overhead and stuff,' or, 'I'm Old Money and I got ponies I need to write paychecks for every two weeks,' or, 'I'm Big Hoss and my dad doesn't let me do nothin' round here cause I'm a big, irresponsible and bossy colt!'" Derpy stopped herself for a second and thought aloud, "Oh wait, I don't think that last one has anything to do with selling..."

"So the other ponies talk about the store to help them sell stuff," Apple Bloom reasoned, "but you talk about your family."

"Exactly!" Derpy said. "In fact, my advice to you girls would be to play up that family card. It's what you all know best, and as you just saw, it works!"

"All right!" Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle yelled together happily. Then they both looked at Scootaloo and immediately their spirits went sour. They looked at each other, then looked down and breathed out a sad, "Oh..."

"What?" Scootaloo asked back.

"Well, girls," Derpy told them, "I think I've taught you everything you need to know to start selling! Think you're ready to fly solo?"

"Are we ever!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Absolutely!" Sweetie Belle confirmed.

"You bet!" Scootaloo echoed.

"Great!" Derpy said. "How about you girls set yourselves up at the toy counter over there? Then if one of you needs me, come and get me. I'll be in the back office. Good luck!"

The three eager little ponies trotted off and went behind the counter. Derpy walked back toward the office and said to herself, "That was awesome! I'm so good with fillies."

This has been a pretty awesome day, Derpy said on-camera. I got to teach three fillies about my job and I proved to my bosses that I can teach others about the business. Now they're working the counter while I get to kick back a bit and enjoy a much-needed break in my schedule. Mentorship? I've got this mentorship thing nailed down!

In the back office, Derpy sat down behind her desk. She stretched her legs, then opened on of the desk drawers. "Ahh," She sighed happily as she admired the rows of brown muffins in the drawer. Derpy picked one up and said, "Muffin break!" She tossed it up in the air and opened her mouth wide to catch it.

"Derrrrpyyy!!!" Cash's voice bellowed into the office.

"Wha?" She said, startled. As she looked at Cash the muffin bounced off of her head.

Cash stomped into the office right up to Derpy and asked, "What in the name of Celestia did you teach those fillies?"

"Well, you know," she said, "I taught them about selling stuff, like you said."

"And how exactly did you teach them that?" Cash asked.

"I, um, taught them all the pawnshop basics," Derpy explained. "And then I added some, uh, personal experience. You know, insider tips?"

"Insider tips? Personal experience?" Cash asked. "Is that what you call what's going on in my store right now? Derpy, come with me."

The two of them walked back into the showroom, where a commotion took place in the area Derpy had left the girls in earlier. Ponies were trying to avoid catching the attention of the new store apprentices as three unlucky victims were caught in the novice salesponies' grips. Derpy saw a gray earth stallion caught in Apple Bloom's grip. She literally had herself wrapped around one of his front legs as she begged:

"But don't ya understand, mister?! I've got an old granny at home, and mah sister an' brother hafta take care of her an' our whole farm! Ya just gotta buy somethin' from me, or how else will I take care of mah family?!"

"Hey, little girl, I don't really know what to tell you!" He protested, "I just came in to look around, so please let go of me!"

"But if ya don't buy somethin' from me, then we could lose the farm!" She pleaded. "We'll be homeless! Bankrupt! Impoverished! Destitute!"

"What are you, a dictionary?! Please, just leave me alone!"

"Um," Derpy muttered before she saw Sweetie Belle tailing unusually close behind a brown earth colt. She appeared to be engaged in a rather one-sided conversation:

"Are you sure you don't need any help finding something, sir?" She asked.

"Uh-huh," he answered.

"Because I could tell that you look like a really strong farmer. So you must be into, um, farming tools?" She continued.

"No, not really."

"Well, still, I can tell you must be a really, really strong pony..."

"Uh, thanks?"

"And you keep your, uh...mane...looking really nice..."

"Okay, then..."

"And you smell nice, too?"

"What?"

"Uh oh," Derpy said to herself as she looked for Scootaloo. Her attention was caught by the yell of a familiar pony:

"Argh!" Scootaloo growled impatiently at a pink unicorn mare. "Come on, lady, make up your mind!"

The mare was shocked to see the filly bossing her around. "I beg your pardon?" She asked.

"Look," she said as she stomped her hoof, "I've been watching you walk around this area for, like, five minutes and it's obvious that you need help deciding on something. So why don't you let me help you buy something already?!"

"Okay, you know what?" The unicorn asked. "I'm going to go and keep looking around...over there." She made a break for another part of the store.

"Yeah, you do that!" The little pegasus yelled. "And then come let me know when you're ready!"

"Oh no," Derpy whispered with wide eyes and tiny pupils. "I'm in trouble."

"Yeah, you're in trouble," Cash said behind her. "Is that how you taught them to sell, Derpy? By accosting my customers?"

"No, of course not!" She protested.

"So you didn't teach them to treat the customers like that?" Cash asked.

"Well, um, kinda sorta, yes and no," Derpy said.

"Well, did you or didn't you?"

"Okay, yes!" Derpy admitted. "I told them about the kind of stuff I do whenever I work with the customers, but I didn't teach them to hang all over them like that!"

"What's goin' on out here?" Old Money asked as he walked up and saw the commotion in the showroom. "Is there a problem here, son?"

Cash looked at Derpy and shook his head before he looked at his sire and said, "Not for long, Dad. I'm fixing this." He walked a few steps toward the fillies' area, stopped and called out, "Apprentices! Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootalong! Stop what you're doing and get over here right now!"

The three fillies froze and stared at Cash silently, except for Scootaloo who looked at Cash and retorted, "Once again, boss, the name is Scootaloo..."

"Your names are gonna be mud if you're all not in front of me in two seconds!" Cash yelled, and the three of them were in front of him in an instant. "That's more like it," he said before he turned his attention to the customers. "Everypony, thanks for bearing with us as our eager young apprentices here learn their trade. Their interactions with you are proving to be an invaluable learning experience."

"Well, if it's all the same to you," the gray pony whom Apple Bloom was wrapped around earlier said, "I think we'll take our business elsewhere while those three keep learning." He walked out of the store, taking a few other ponies out with him.

"Great," Cash muttered to himself. "That's...just...great."

"Um, Mr. Cash?" Apple Bloom asked quietly. "We're really sorry we made yer customers leave..."

"No no, girls," Cash told her, then he looked over at Derpy and Old Money and said, "the fault is not entirely yours."

"Is there something we could do to make up for it?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Cash sighed, glanced at a clock on the wall and said, "Well, Applejack should be here to get you girls in about an hour or so. You could clean up the pawn inventory until then. Derpy will show you where it is and get you set up with cleaning supplies." He looked at her with narrowed eyes and asked, "You should be able to do that without explaining too much, right?"

"Yes, boss," she said quietly. "Come on, girls, I'll show you where everything is."

As Derpy led the fillies away, Old Money looked at Cash. "Well, ya sure hit the nail on the head right then, son," he said, "'cause this really is all your fault, ya know."

Cash's eyes popped wide open. He looked at his sire and yelled, "What?! What do mean it's all my fault? Whose bright idea was it to make these fillies our apprentices?!"

"An' whose idea was it to even hold onto 'em in the first place?" Old Money countered. "Ah gotta agree with what Big Hoss said earlier, we ain't foalsitters."

"Oh, come off it, Pops!" Cash yelled as the two of them walked back toward the office. "Face it, you thought you were getting a bargain for a day's work out of those girls!"

"Ah ain't hearnin' no more of this!" Old Money told him. "We're still workin' and makin' money in here 'til those doors close!"

"Are you deaf and blind, Dad?" Cash asked. "Our customers are gone. Your new business plan showed them the door, remember?"

"Oh, I swear, Cash..." Old Money muttered as they walked back toward the office.

The camera view went back into the pawn inventory, where the girls were hard at work cleaning up the various items on the shelves. Apple Bloom was wiping down the shelves with a rag and Sweetie Belle was dusting everything with a feather duster held between her teeth. The dust she kicked up tickled her nose and she sneezed, sending the duster flying out of her mouth. She wiped her nose with a foreleg and she looked around for the duster.

Sweetie Belle found it next to Scootaloo, who didn't appear to be cleaning anything. Instead, she was pulling all sorts of things off of the shelves and onto the floor. The floor was now littered with tools, decorative art, books, jewelry and other sorts of odds and ends, which made it difficult for anypony to try and step around.

"Scootaloo!" Sweetie Belle chided her friend. "What the hay are you doing? Mr. Cash just wanted us to clean the dust and dirt off this stuff!"

"Trust me, Sweetie Belle, I know what I'm doing," Scootaloo said as she pulled another item off of the shelves.

"Yeah, like you knew to yell at all of the customers?"

"Well, did either of you think for a minute about what you two were doing?" She stopped moving stuff around and looked at both of her friends. "You with your following other ponies around like a little lost puppy, and you begging everypony on your hooves and knees to give you money?"

"Hey now!" Apple Bloom stopped cleaning and said to Scootaloo, "We were only doin' what Miss Derpy told us."

"Yeah, and look where that got us!" Scootaloo shot back. She looked around and continued, "Cleaning dirty junk in the back room of a smelly old store! We're no closer to getting our cutie marks than we've ever been!"

"Well, nopony forced ya into this!" Apple Bloom told her.

"Are you kidding?" Scootaloo asked. "This was all your idea! We wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't opened your big mouth!"

"Oh, Ah'm sorry," Apple Bloom said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "but Ah thought we were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, not the Blank Flanks Forever!"

Sweetie Belle spoke up then. "You know what? Scootaloo's right. In fact, I'd much rather be following Applejack around on her boring old errands right now!"

"Oh ya would, huh?" Apple Bloom asked. "Because that sounds sooo interesting? You're just a boring old stick in the mud!"

"And you're a big-mouthed nosy silly-filly!" Sweetie Belle yelled at her, then at Scootaloo, "And you're a short-fused pouty pegasus!"

"Look who's talking, Little Miss Whines-a-Lot!" Scootaloo yelled back.

"Loud-mouth!"

"Hay-for-brains!"

"Thunderhead!"

"Chicken!"

Scootaloo narrowed her eyes, gritted her teeth in anger and crouched down. The other two girls saw her react and did the same. She scraped a front hoof across the floor a couple of times. They did the same. Then, all at once, they pounced on each other.

It was a scene of kicking, stomping, yelling and pulling at each others' manes. They were fighting so loudly that Cash heard them from the floor and galloped in to see what was going on. "Girls!" He yelled. "Hey, girls! What the hay's going on in here?" When he couldn't get their attention vocally, Cash stepped directly into the cloud of fury the fillies had kicked up.

Soon he had them separated, Apple Bloom behind him and the other two at the ends of his outstretched forelegs. He was lying flat on the floor in the shape of a T, trying to keep the fillies calm. "All right, already! Now will one of you girls please tell me what's going on?"

They all began yelling at once again.

"One of you, please?" He asked again.

"It's all her fault, Mr. Cash!" Sweetie Belle said as she pointed a hoof at Scootaloo. "Apple Bloom and I were cleaning, but she took all of your stuff off the shelves. Look at the giant mess she made back here!"

"I can explain, Mr. Cash!" Scootaloo said.

"What, all of this stuff?" Cash asked as he got up off of the floor and walked to a couple of the things left out. He studied their tags for a moment and asked, "Scootaloo, do you know what you're doing here?"

"Finally!" She said, exasperated. "The bald pony remembers my name!"

"Hey, you! Your name's gonna be mud if you don't give me an answer." Cash asked again, "So what did you think you were doing?"

"Well," she said as she walked up to one of the items and pointed with a hoof to its inventory tag, "Miss Derpy taught us about how you guys do pawn loans and how you hold onto this stuff for about a month. I saw that a lot of the stuff in here has been sitting for at least two months, so I thought maybe they belong in a different part of the store."

"You bet they do," Cash said. "This is the kind of stuff I try and get Derpy to take care of. But you just did me a huge favor."

"I did?" Scootaloo asked.

"She did?" The others echoed.

"Sure!" Cash said. "Since the ponies who gave me these things haven't paid their loans in so long, I've got a whole slew of new merchandise to put out on the floor. Thanks, Scootaloo."

"Uh, you're welcome, I guess," she replied.

"I'll go let Derpy and Big Hoss know they've got some stuff to move before they leave tonight," Cash said as the turned to walk back toward the showroom. He stopped to look back at the girls and said, "Hey, that was quite a scuffle you girls were having. Would any of you mind telling me why you were all duking it out?"

"Well..." Scootaloo began.

"It was kinda..." Sweetie Belle started.

"It was mah fault, Mr. Cash," Apple Bloom said. "Ah said...and did...some things I shouldn't have."

"No, Apple Bloom, I was saying mean things," Sweetie Belle said, "to you and Scootaloo."

Scootaloo added, "I was being really mean, too. I guess we were all really mad at each other."

"Hmm," Cash thought aloud. "Well, it seems like whatever happened is something you're all sorry about. Are we all gonna be okay here?"

"Ah think so, Mr. Cash," Apple Bloom said.

"Good. Well, we're about done for the day, so you can go give those shirts back to my dad and wait for Applejack by the front door. I'll meet you there in awhile."

As the last hour of daylight began to run out, an amber sunset started to paint the sky over Ponyville. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, still without their marks, waited just outside the pawn shop doors for Applejack to come and get them.

"Well, that sure was different than anything else we've done!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Yeah," Apple Bloom said, "who knew Ah would be ropin' us into that craziness! Ah guess we're not cut out to be pawnbrokers, after all."

"Nope, I guess not," Scootaloo concurred. "Hey Apple Bloom, I'm sorry I got mad at you, you know, for getting us to work here today."

"I'm sorry too," Sweetie Belle said. "It was worth a shot, and we did our best."

"Ya know what, girls?" Apple Bloom asked. "We really did. So what if today was a bust? At least we tried!"

"Yeah!" the other girls said together. Then Scootaloo added, "But you know, this was the last place in Ponyville we tried to earn are marks at. Now what are we gonna do?"

"I dunno," Sweetie Belle said, "But I'm sure we'll think of something."

Cash then walked outside to join the fillies. He looked at them and asked, "So girls, what did you think of the pawn business?"

"Ah'm afraid we weren't the best apprentices, Mr. Cash," Apple Bloom said. "Ah don't think we'll be comin' back ta work for ya anytime soon. Sorry."

"That's alright," Cash said. "Looks like my dad's apprenticeship program might need some tweaking before we take on anypony else."

"I just wish we could have earned our cutie marks today," Sweetie Belle said.

"Hey, you all made a good effort in there today," Cash said. He paused, then continued, "Well, you made an effort. You'll just need to have patience. These things take time. I know I didn't get mine when I first started out."

"Huh?" Scootaloo asked, "Started out doing what?"

"Being a pawnbroker."

"What?!" They all yelled.

"But that's how ya said ya got yer mark!" Apple Bloom protested. "I heard ya!"

"Hold up, now!" Cash said. "I said that I always wanted to run a pawn shop. I never said I was any good at it when I started out! It's not like I put this shirt on and bam, there was my cutie mark!"

"Oh," Apple Bloom said. "Ah get it now."

"So you weren't good at this pawnbreaking stuff either?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Nope. In fact, when my dad first put me to work here, I was terrible at this job," Cash said. "Probably as bad as all three of you combined."

"Really?" Scootaloo asked.

"No, not really," Cash said. He laughed and said, "Oh, I wish you all could have seen yourselves today! I mean, I was bad in my day, but you girls must have set some kind of record!"

The girls didn't look very amused at Cash's remark. He saw their faces, composed himself and continued, "Well, see, I was really bad at my job because I didn't know anything about what I was selling! Every time somepony wanted to know more about something in my store I just gave them a dumb look because I didn't know what to tell them. Eventually I had enough of looking like a complete foal at my job, so I told myself I would fix that problem if it was the last thing I did."

"So how did ya do that?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I did the only thing I could do," Cash said. "I started reading. I had to learn about this stuff somehow, and reading up on it was the best way I knew how. I read about everything: farming, science, art, technology, you name it. If it was in my dad's shop then I had read a book cover-to-cover about it.

Then one day a guy came in looking for a plow for his field. We had one, so I took it upon myself to try and sell it to him. It was just an ordinary old plow, like the one Farmer Brown sold me, but I could tell him everything about it: how often it was used, who made it, how to best use it, everything. I must have spent a good twenty minutes just talking about this dusty old plow, but you know what? It got the pony interested enough to buy it from me later on!

When I made that sale, I felt like I was on the top of the world, like I knew everything and could do anything! And well," he paused to look up at the symbol on his store's sign, then at the same symbol on his flank, then back at the girls and finished, "the rest is history."

"Cool," Sweetie Belle said.

"So that's it?" Scootaloo asked. "You sold a plow and got your cutie mark? Booooring."

"Well, sorry if there weren't any sonic rainbooms in my story!" Cash defended. "But it's my story and I'm sticking to it."

"So Mr. Cash," Apple Bloom said, "what you're saying is that ya didn't know enough about what ya were doin' before, so ya read a bunch of books and then got yer cutie mark?"

"Well, in a nutshell, yes," Cash said.

She smiled, looked at her friends and said, "Hey girls, y'all know what Ah think we'll be tomorrow?"

They nodded and yelled in unison, "Cutie Mark Crusader eggheads!"

"Is that the call of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Ah hear?" Applejack asked as she trotted up just then. She looked at Cash and said, "Howdy again, Cash! Thanks again for watchin' the girls, it was a big help! Did they give ya any trouble?"

"Oh, no, nothing I couldn't handle," he remarked. "Did you get all those errands done alright?"

"You betcha! An' now, girls, are ya ready for the best sleepover ever?" She asked.

"Yeah!" They answered together.

"Hey, sis," Apple Bloom asked. "Can we go an' hang out at Twilight's tree tomorrow?"

"We'll hafta see about that in the mornin'," Applejack said. "You girls sure are keepin' busy!"

"You know us, Applejack," Sweetie Belle said. "We'll never stop 'til we get our cutie marks!"

"Hey, Mr. Cash," Apple Bloom turned to him and said, "thanks for lettin' us be apprentices at yer store."

"Yeah, thanks!" the others echoed.

"You bet, girls," Cash said. "Have a good night, good luck at Twilight's tomorrow!"

"Thanks!" Apple Bloom said as she and the others started on their way toward the farm.

Cash heard Scootaloo ask Sweetie Belle, "You think we'll see Rainbow Dash there tomorrow?"

"Probably," she replied.

"Oh, boy," Cash said to himself. "I'd better go give Twilight the heads up."

Episode 4: If the Shoe Fits

I'm Cash Money, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my sire, Old Money; and my colt, Big Hoss.

Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned in all my years in Ponyville, is that you never know what is going to trot through that door.

This is Ponyville Pawn Stars.

As another day at the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop started, Big Hoss trotted into work that morning with an uncharacteristic spring in his step. He smiled and whistled happily as he made his way through the showroom and toward the back office. Cash saw his son coming and knew exactly what was up.

My son is this happy twice a month for one reason and one reason only, he said on-camera. That's because today is payday at the shop. He's almost never in this good of a mood, even on his birthday. Which is exactly why I chose this day to enact my plan...

"Alright Pops, where's the ledger?" Big Hoss asked as he entered the office. "Time to sign for that sack o' bits that makes this job mean something."

"Sure thing, son," Cash said as he pulled a large hardcover book out of his desk drawer with his teeth. He tossed it upon his desk, opened the book and flipped to the current payroll page where everypony would sign for their wages. Big Hoss already had a quill in his mouth, but before he could sign next to his name Cash put down another piece of paper on top of the page.

"What's this?" Big Hoss asked.

"Just some training for the office, nothing major," Cash explained. "Just sign it and you can have your pay."

"Okay, whatever," Hoss said as he signed the paper.

"Great," Cash said as he slid the paper away and closed the book. "Now let's go."

"What the...where are we going?" Hoss asked.

"You and I are going to do some sensitivity training this morning," Cash said.

"What? 'Sensitivity training?'" Hoss asked as he motioned to Old Money and Derpy. "Are they going, too?"

"Nope."

"Is anypony else in the shop going?"

"Just you and me, son," Cash said.

Big Hoss narrowed his eyes at his father. "Alright, pops, what's with the bait-and-switch?" He asked. "How come we're the only ones going to this 'sensitivity training' today?"

"Well son, I'm starting to get concerned about us. Ever since you started working here we've been arguing a lot," Cash said.

"We've always argued, Dad," Hoss said. "Ever since I was little we've argued. In fact, it's kind of our family tradition. Why fix it now?"

"Because I'm afraid it'll start affecting the business, and when it does it'll make things even worse between us," Cash explained. "Last week Derpy suggested..."

"Derpy?!" Hoss exclaimed. He turned to glare at the gray mare as she snacked on her breakfast muffin. She stopped eating and smiled nervously as Hoss asked, "Derpy, what did you tell my dad?"

"Um, well," she said, "I just kinda told him that I've seen you two yell at each other a lot, and that I knew a great counselor you guys could talk to..."

"A counselor?" he asked. He looked at Cash and continued, "You said this was training, not therapy."

"It is training, son," Cash said. "Think of it as training in being better and nicer ponies."

"Well if that's the case, shouldn't Gramps be in on this, too?" Big Hoss asked. "Why isn't he going?"

"Because I'm old," Old Money cut in, "and you can't teach an old pony nothin'."

"Come on, son," Cash said as he started to walk out of the office. "We have an appointment, let's go."

"Fine," Hoss said indignantly. He started to walk with his father before he turned around, went up to Derpy and said, "Listen, you're my friend and I'll probably appreciate this idea of yours later. But if you ever suggest something like this to my dad again, let me just say that you better inspect the next few muffins you plan to eat in this store before you take that first bite."

"Big Hoss! Let's get a move-on!" Cash called.

Hoss joined his father and left Derpy with a wide-eyed, concerned look on her face as she looked at the muffin in her hoof.

About a half-hour later, a yellow earth pony mare trotted into the shop and walked up to the counter where Old Money and Derpy greeted her.

"Hi there!" Derpy said cheerfully.

"Hello," the yellow mare said.

"Good morning, young lady," Old Money said. "What can we do for you today?"

"I have something odd here that I hope you'll be interested in buying," she said before she stuck her nose into the saddlebag she wore, pulled out a shiny brass and glass object and set it on the table. "I'm pretty sure that these are eyeglasses, but they have four sets of lenses on them."

"Hmm," Old Money thought aloud. "Well, they are some kind of glasses and they're definitely odd. Hey Derpy," he said as he looked at her, "I think we've got something to fix those peepers of yours."

"What're you talking about, boss?" She asked. "There's nothing wrong with my eyes. You're the one who can't read those forms lately."

"Well," the yellow mare said as she looked at Derpy's crossed pupils. Then she looked at Old Money's eyes, which were nearly obscured by heavy eyelids and wrinkly bags beneath them. She continued, "maybe once you buy them from me the two of you can share them."

I can see just fine, Old Money said in his on-camera interview. I just hold those forms extra close to my face 'cause I want to make sure my employees are doin' business they way they're supposed to. In any case, these particular glasses aren't for reading or just to see things better. They're a specialized tool and they can be particularly hard to come by.

"How did you happen to get these?" Old Money asked the customer.

"I was cleaning out my mom's attic and I found these at the bottom of a box," she answered. "She said she had them for many years but couldn't recall where she got them. Do you know what they are?"

"I certainly do, miss," the old stallion answered. "These are binocular magnifying glasses. They're the kind of thing used by a watchmaker, jeweler or maybe a toy maker in order to see his work better. Whenever they needed to set tiny gears or put small details onto things, they'd put these on and get real close to whatever they're workin' with." He scooped up the glasses in his hoof, looked at Derpy and said, "Here, put these on so I can show her."

Derpy let Old Money put the glasses on her face. He pressed down on the tiny arms connected to each lens to lift them out of the way of the large lens, making her yellow eyes look big and bulbous. "Whoa," she said as she looked around the store with them.

"Now she can see things a little closer - and clearer, I'm sure - than before. But if she wanted to look extra close at something, she would just move these other lenses like this," Old Money said as he pushed each of the arms on one set of lenses until all three were in front of the main lens. "Now the lenses are at full power, and she can see even the smallest details."

"Yeah, I'll say!" Derpy said as she looked at Old Money's hoof. "Your hooves look kinda gnarly, boss. Do you bite them? Ever heard of a hooficure?"

"Alright, you, that's enough," Old Money said as he pulled the glasses off Derpy's face and she blinked her vision back into focus. He put them down on the counter and asked the yellow mare, "So how much do you want for them?"

"Well, they look pretty old," she said, "so how about a hundred bits?"

"I'd be a buyer at sixty-five," Old Money countered.

The customer thought for a moment and asked back, "Could you do ninety?"

"Nope. Seventy-five is as high as I'll go."

"You sure you can't do eighty?"

"Seventy-five, miss," Old Money said firmly. "They're old and interesting, but they're a little too beat up and scratched for me to offer any more."

The yellow mare looked over the glasses one more time, nodded and said, "Okay then, fair enough."

"Very good," Old Money said as they shook hooves. "Let's go do up some paperwork. Derpy, take these glasses and tag them. Go ahead and wear them if you need to see the form better."

"Yeah, okay boss, right after I let you break them in!" Derpy said as she picked up the glasses. She put them on her head but not over her face and took them to be tagged.

I think I got a good deal for them, the customer said on-camera outside of the store. They were just sitting in the attic collecting dust and nopony was about to start using them. But if anypony looked like they needed to see the eye doctor, then those two probably should. Maybe they can share those glasses until they get their own!

Just outside of town, the camera followed the father and son earth ponies as they walked up to the tree where they were about to meet with their "sensitivity training counselor."

"Dad, how can you be sure this is a good idea?" Big Hoss asked. "It's not like she's a real doctor or anything."

"She comes highly recommended, son," Cash said. "And so what if she's a doctor or not? I didn't think you cared that much about this appointment."

"I don't, but if we're going to do this I want it done right," Hoss said. "I mean, for crying out loud, Dad, she's got birdhouses hanging all over her tree like some crazy bird lady."

"That doesn't matter. Now pipe down," Cash said as they reached the front door. He knocked on the door with a front hoof.

A moment later it opened and revealed a lovely yellow mare with flowing pink hair. She greeted them softly, "Oh, good morning, Mr. Cash, Mr. Big Hoss. You're right on time. Please, come in."

"Thanks for having us over, Fluttershy," Cash said as he and Big Hoss walked in.

Cash talked to me the other day about his concerns with his son and asked if I wouldn't mind helping him address them with Big Hoss, Fluttershy said on-camera in front of her house. Well, I was more than happy to help. After all, I believe it's important that in a family business like theirs, everyone in the family is happy, kind and supportive of each other. Cash laughed at me when I said that to him, so I had a feeling that this might be a little more difficult than I thought...

"Thank you for coming," Fluttershy said as she closed the door behind them. She motioned to a couch pulled up to a table. "Please have a seat. Would you like some tea?"

"No, thanks," Big Hoss mumbled.

"Tea would be great, thank you," Cash told her.

"I'll be right back," Fluttershy said as she walked into the kitchen area and started prepping the tea.

The two colts sat on the couch and waited for Fluttershy to come back with the tea. Big Hoss slouched way down on the couch, like a schoolcolt waiting to be seen in a doctor's office. Cash nudged him hard in the side.

"Sit up, son," Cash whispered with a rasp, "and at least pretend to want to be here."

"I am," Big Hoss whispered back through gritted teeth.

Fluttershy came back carrying a tray in her mouth with a small teapot and three teacups. "Here we go, sirs," she said after she put it down on the table. She poured a cup for herself and Cash.

"Thank you," Cash said as he picked up his cup and took a sip.

"And Mr. Big Hoss, I went ahead and brought you a teacup just in case you changed your mind," Fluttershy said as she picked hers up and sipped it.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"Okay then," she said as she put her cup down and took a seat on another sofa at the table. "Let's get started. First I have a little paperwork we need to take care of." Just then, a fluffy white bunny holding some papers and a quill hopped onto the table. "Angel here will help me record the findings of our meeting today."

"Her assistant is a bunny rabbit?" Hoss whispered to Cash. "Real professional."

"Shh," Cash hushed him.

"Now, Mr. Cash, can I have your full name please?" Fluttershy asked.

"Cash Money."

Angel scribbled on the papers. "Occupation?" Fluttershy asked.

"Pawnbroker."

"Number of children?"

"One," he said, looking at Big Hoss. "And he still acts like a kid sometimes."

Big Hoss grunted at him.

"Thank you," Fluttershy said. "That's all for you, Mr. Cash."

"What, that's it?" Big Hoss asked. "You already knew those things about us, Fluttershy, so why did you have to ask?"

"It's just part of procedure," she explained to him. "Now, could I have your full name, please?"

"It's Big Hoss, you already know that."

"I'm sorry, but I need your legal name, not your nickname, if that's okay with you."

"What? Are you serious?" He asked incredulously. "I haven't gone by that name in years."

"Just answer the question, son," Cash said.

Big Hoss grunted again and glared at his father. Cash glared back at his son. Hoss sighed and said, "Fine."

"So," Fluttershy asked patiently, "your name?"

"Cash...Money," Hoss answered unwillingly.

"Cash Money...is there something after that?" Fluttershy inquired.

"Junior," Hoss blurted out. "There. My legal name is Cash Money, Jr."

"Thank you," Fluttershy said as Angel wrote on the forms. "And you're a pawnbroker as well?"

"Junior isn't, but Big Hoss is," Hoss said.

Cash elbowed him again and said, "Leave the smart mouth in the stable, son."

"Okay then," Fluttershy said. "Now, I understand that you two are having some problems communicating with each other. Cash, would you like to share your feelings about this issue?"

"Well," Cash said, "I feel like I'm really trying hard to show Big Hoss how the store is run. But often times, when I'm trying to show him the right way to do things, I get ignored and Hoss goes and does whatever he wants."

"Uh huh," Fluttershy said as she nodded, then looked at Big Hoss and asked, "Big Hoss, would you like to tell your father how you feel about what he just said?"

"All right," Big Hoss said as he looked at Cash. "Dad, you're a moron if you think I don't know how to run the shop."

"Um, Big Hoss?" Fluttershy interjected, "Let's try not to insult one another during our session. Instead, tell your father what you're feeling right now."

"Okay then," Big Hoss said with a hint of sarcasm. "Dad, I feel that you're a moron if you think I don't know how to run the shop."

Cash sighed. "Son, if you want this to work then you have to take it more seriously than this."

"Come on, Dad, you can't possibly believe this is supposed to help us somehow!" Hoss exclaimed. "I mean, look, we're talking to Fluttershy in a tree covered inside and out with birdhouses. And then then there's this bunny who..." He stopped to notice that Angel was scribbling something on the forms. Hoss pointed to Angel and asked Fluttershy, "What's he doing?"

"Oh, he's just writing down what happens in our session, so I can make a clear diagnosis," Fluttershy explained.

"'A clear diagnosis,' she says," Hoss repeated. "This is absolutely ridiculous. I must be going crazy..."

Angel scribbled on the paper some more.

"Hey, don't write that!" Hoss said to Angel.

Angel scribbled some more.

"I said don't write that!" Hoss repeated.

Angel kept writing.

"Stop writing!" Hoss yelled.

Angel wrote some more.

"Stop writing!"

Cash put a hoof to his face and shook his head. "This is going to be a long session," he said to himself.

Meanwhile back at the shop, Old Money dozed off at his desk. His lunch-hour catnap was interrupted by a small explosion that came from the front counter. It woke him up and he coughed on the soot that gathered in front of his face. "Damn it, Derpy!" He shouted in between coughs. "What did you do this time?!" He got up and walked to the front counter to find not Derpy, but a blue mare wearing a magician's hat and cape. He looked at her for a moment and recognized the pony. The explosion was, in fact, one of her trademark smoke bombs.

"Oh," he said as he coughed again and cleared his throat. "I know you."

"Of course you do!" She exclaimed. "For I am the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

Old Money shook some soot off of his mane and coughed again. "Good for you, young mare," he said. "Now I hope you've got something to sell me. Your little entrance just dirtied up my store and now I've gotta pay somepony to clean it."

"Well, Trixie would hardly call this place spotless to begin with, but that is beside the point. I do have something to sell you: something that will amaze and astound you. Behold!" Trixie said dramatically as she magically lifted her hat to reveal what appeared to be a crystal ball with an ornate brass stand balanced on top of her head. She lifted it off with her magic and placed it upon the counter.

Old Money looked at it for a moment, then looked at Trixie and said, "It's a glass ball."

"It most certainly is not, pawnbroker!" Trixie retorted as she lifted it off of the stand with her magic. As she made the ball glow and weaved it through the air, she explained, "This is, in fact, a magician's crystal scrying ball, passed down through generations of mages throughout the ages. It has transmitted visions of the past, present and future, and functions as a conduit to wonders beyond the mind's comprehension." She set the ball back down on the stand and its glow faded as she finished, "It's a must-have item for any pony worth their salt as a master of the magical sciences."

"Uh huh," Old Money said, unimpressed. "So if it's so great, why're you selling it?"

"Well, Trixie is making plans to travel and perform again," she said, "and even great and powerful ponies need a little startup capital for their endeavors."

"Okay then," Old Money said. "So how much do you want for it?"

"Trixie believes that five thousand bits is a proper price for a device of this awesome power!" She proclaimed proudly.

Old Money looked at Trixie with narrowed eyes. "Oh really?" He asked. "Five thousand for a glass ball?"

"It's crystal," she insisted.

Old Money sighed, sat down and tapped the ball with his front left hoof. "Miss Trixie, do you take me for an idiot?" He asked.

"Well, ask a stupid question..." She said.

The old stallion picked up the ball, balanced it on the end of his left hoof and rolled it along his foreleg. "'Cause you're a damn fool if you do," he said as he popped the ball into the air, caught it on the end of his right hoof and repeated the motion.

"Hey, what are you doing? Stop that!" Trixie ordered.

Old Money popped the ball into the air again and caught it on his head, then let it roll down his face and onto his left hoof before he placed it back upon the brass stand. "Missy, I've been appraising crystal since I was knee-high to a grasshopper," he said as he pointed to the ball, "and that ain't no crystal. It's glass. And it's cracked."

"You, sir, are the one who is cracked!" Trixie retorted. "Any imperfections you see are merely striations from the massive influx of magical energy this device has transmitted over years of use."

"My left hoof they are," Old Money said. "This thing is a novelty. It's probably one of the few things of yours that weren't destroyed when you brought that Ursa Minor through town."

"How dare you!" She said, appalled. "And for the record, the Ursa Minor incident was the doing of those schoolcolts, not Trixie!"

"Bottom line, Trixie," Old Money said firmly, "is I don't want it. So take your glass ball and see your way outta my store."

Trixie scowled, then magically swept the ball and stand off of the counter and back under her hat. "Fine then!" She huffed. "But rest assured, this is not the end. This will not be the last you've seen of the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

Another smoke bomb obscured Old Money's vision for a moment, then he caught a glimpse of her cape as she galloped out of the store. He coughed again and shook more soot out of his mane. "Derpy!" He called for her. "I need you to come and dust off the mess that the Great an' Conceited Trixie left behind!" He shuffled back to his desk, determined to finish his nap. As he sat back down in his chair he grumbled to himself, "Some ponies' foals..."

Back at Fluttershy's tree cottage, tempers were flaring between Cash and Big Hoss. Angel had quit writing and ran off some time ago, and Fluttershy's birds were so frightened by the yelling that they either took refuge in their houses or left the cottage altogether. Fluttershy herself was trying to keep the meeting together, but her timid pleas fell upon angry ears.

Our meeting today wasn't going nearly as well as I had hoped, Cash confessed on-camera. For most of the session Hoss and I were arguing over which pony made the other's life more miserable. Right now I feel real sorry for Fluttershy. I don't think any of her dealings with her animal friends could have prepared her for a meeting like this...

"Do you know what your problem is, Dad?" Hoss asked.

"I don't think I have a problem, but if you think I do then let's hear it!" Cash retorted. "You obviously think you know me better than I do!"

"Um, sirs," Fluttershy said meekly, "you two have been carrying on like this for forty-five minutes..."

"That right there is the problem!" Hoss said as he ignored Fluttershy. "You're so full of yourself!"

"If we could just step back for a minute, sirs..." she said.

"Oh, come off it, son!" Cash dismissed his son's accusation.

"It's true! You think you're so great because you have this successful store and nopony could spoil it," Hoss said. "That is, not until I started working for you. Then what happens? All of a sudden it's about holding the store together, and making sure I get responsibility but not too much because you're sure I'll buck it all up if I do!"

"Sirs!" Fluttershy protested softly. "The harsh language I'm hearing will not resolve the issue!"

"Well, what do you want me to say, Hoss?" Cash asked in exasperation. "You think those years of me bailing you out of the trouble you put yourself in hasn't at all affected my trust in you?"

"I got in all that trouble because of you!" Hoss accused.

"Oh really?" Cash asked. "How's that?"

"Because I was 'Junior,' remember? And 'Junior' was always getting made fun of! All the other schoolcolts were like, 'So your name's Junior, huh? Why were you named that? Because Rent Money and Milk Money were taken?'" Hoss explained, imitating a schoolcolt's voice.

"Okay, this is good," Fluttershy said. "Now we're getting somewhere..."

Hoss continued, "Seriously, Dad, 'Junior' is the dumbest name you could have given me. You really could have named me something better. But it's like you didn't even care enough to. So I had to become Big Hoss. And it got me everything: big attitude, big friends, big respect..."

"Yeah, and big trouble!" Cash interrupted. "Look, Hoss, I'm sorry you don't like your name..."

"I hate it!" Hoss yelled. "I've always hated it!"

"Okay, just hold on a minute, Hoss," Fluttershy said.

"But it's your name!" Cash yelled back. "You should have just sucked it up and accepted it!"

"Oh yeah, suck it up!" Hoss repeated sarcastically. "That's your answer for everything!

"Hey, the both of you be quiet!" Fluttershy screamed over them. The two stallions fell silent and looked at the fuming yellow pegasus, who was now flapping her wings and hovering over them. "Okay, you two! I invite you into my home, offer you some tea and pleasant conversation and what happens? You both yell at the tops of your lungs about each other, scaring all my birds and not letting me get a word in edgewise. Well listen here, you grumpy colts: I'm sure deep down inside, beneath all that yelling is a love that you both have as father and son. Otherwise why would you be yelling at each other in the first place? It doesn't make any sense! Big Hoss, I know you hate your real name, but could you understand for just a moment that your father named you that because he loves you and wants to continue a special legacy with you? One that only the two of you can share?"

Big Hoss pondered it for a moment and said softly, "Uh, yeah, I think I can see that..."

"And you, Cash," she continued, "can't you tell that your son is really trying hard to please you and earn your approval by being a hard worker and redeeming his troubled past?"

Cash also replied softly, "Well, sure, that makes sense..."

"Okay then!" Fluttershy declared, "Then my best suggestion to you both is to take some time to really try and understand how the other pony is feeling instead of reacting to the first thing he says or does. And I prefer that you two go and do that far away from me and my animals until everything's resolved. Now get out of my house!"

The stallions stared back at her blankly, unsure of what to say next. Fluttershy gently floated back down to her couch, looked at a clock on the wall and said softly, "Okay, I think that's all the time we have for our session today. Do we think we'll be scheduling a followup visit?"

Hoss could only muster an, "Uh..."

Cash then spoke up, "We'll let you know."

They returned to the shop later that afternoon. When Cash and Big Hoss came back, they entered the office area and saw Old Money doing paperwork at his desk. He was wearing the magnifying glasses and using all four sets of lenses to see.

"Gramps, what on earth are you wearing?" Hoss asked.

"Some magnifying glasses Derpy and I bought off a mare after you two left," he answered as he continued to study the paperwork with them. He looked like a mad scientist analyzing a complex schematic.

"Dad," Cash said, "if you really can't see what's on the forms, you should just tell me and we'll get you some real glasses."

"I can see just fine," the old-timer said as his bug eyes looked over the form. "I'm just studying all the details."

"Of what, that drop of ink?" Hoss asked.

"Ya'll think you're funny, don't ya?" Old Money asked sarcastically as he took off the glasses. He blinked a few times, looked at Cash and asked,"So how did y'alls training go today?"

"Oh, just great," Cash said as he sat in his chair. "We went to Fluttershy's house, had some tea and argued for about an hour before she screamed her head off about how Hoss and I really must love each other if we yell at each other this much. And then she kicked us out."

"That sounded like fun," Old Money said as he looked at something in the showroom, then leaned over in his chair to tap Cash with a hoof. "Tag, you're it. You got a customer up there."

"What? Seriously?" Cash asked, looking where his father just looked. "Dad, I just got back."

"You ain't been off the clock, son," Old Money said. "Me and Derpy have been workin' our tails off here while y'all have been getting your heads shrunk. Now get out there and make me a sale."

Cash grumbled something under his breath as he got up and trotted across the store to the waiting customer, a red earth pony colt with a black mane slicked back. He wore a large black saddlebag and chewed a wooden toothpick. Cash greeted him, "Hey there, can I help you?"

"You certainly can," the red pony said with a grin, keeping his toothpick between his teeth. "Are you Cash?"

"I am," he answered.

"The name's Slick," he said as he slipped his bag off, "and I've got a deal for you."

"You don't say..." Cash said as he wondered what this pony might have to offer.

Ponies like this make me suspicious, Cash said on-camera. The guy obviously thinks whatever he has is something that he's going to convince me to buy. Plus he just looks kind of shifty to me. I try not to judge others before I get to know them, but it's hard not to in this business. Everything about him is setting off all kinds of red flags in my head. I'll hear him out and see what he has for me, but I don't think I'll be able to trust him as far as I can kick him.

"So what've you got for me, Slick?" Cash asked.

"Word on the street is that you like famous stuff, am I right?" He asked back as he rummaged through his bag.

"I do if it's worth anything," Cash said.

"Well, feast your eyes on this!" Slick exclaimed as he pulled out a large wooden box, placed it upon the counter next to him and opened the lid. Inside was a tall and gleaming golden horseshoe with a familiar flourish at the front.

Cash stared at it for a moment and asked, "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes indeed, my friend!" Slick said, "This is, in fact, a genuine solid-gold royal shoe made for and worn by our great leader, Princess Celestia herself!"

"Well, it sure looks like it," Cash said as he gave the shoe a closer look. He saw that the inside of the shoe appeared to be worn, scratched and dented from the continued impact of a hoof against the metal. He also noticed that the color of the metal appeared to be more yellow than gold in places. "Do you mind if I asked where you got it? You didn't sneak into her palace and steal it, did you? I shouldn't expect her to burst in here at any second demanding her shoe back, should I?"

"Of course not!" Slick said. "But I'd like to keep how I got this beauty to myself, if you don't mind. Besides, if I told you then you'd probably go lookin' for the other three, am I right?"

"The thought did cross my mind," Cash said. "Would you mind if I picked this up and looked at the bottom?"

"Be my guest," Slick said.

Cash put a front hoof into the shoe, lifted it out of the box and inspected the bottom of the shoe. It was also scratched and dented, presumably from years of walking along a variety of surfaces. He also noticed how heavy the shoe felt, more so than he would have imagined for a solid-gold shoe. "Wow, this thing is heavy. You have to wonder how she can walk around in four of these," Cash remarked. "And who would've thought the princess and I had the same shoe size?"

"It looks good on ya," Slick joked.

"Yeah, but I think I'd prefer something in a different color," Cash joked back. The two of them laughed and Cash put the shoe back in the box. "So how much do you want for it?" He asked.

"Well, for a royal item of this nature I would ask for fifty thousand bits from any other pony," Slick said. "But since I know you're a real reputable pony around these parts, and one who seems to know a good thing when he sees it, I'll offer it to you for half-price."

"Twenty-five thousand, huh?" Cash asked. He pondered this offer for a moment.

Okay, this is an interesting situation, Cash shared in another interview. We don't see many things related to royalty come into the shop, much less a shoe made for a demigod princess. I don't think my dad has ever seen something that's belonged to royalty come into this store before, so I can't really ask his opinion on this. I can't exactly ask Derpy to go fly down the street and ask the princess if she's lost a shoe. And I'm not even sure if I should judge the value of this thing as footwear or jewelry. But besides all of that, I'm still convinced that either something about this guy isn't right or something is rotten in Canterlot. So I think it's about time that I called in my expert.

"Well, Slick," Cash said, "I admit that I'm intrigued by what you've brought in here. But I need to know more about it before I can make you an offer. Since you won't tell me anything else about this shoe, I'd really like for my resident fashion expert to come in and take a look at it. You wouldn't mind waiting for a minute while I send for her, would you?"

Slick chewed on his toothpick for a moment, then shrugged and said, "Why not? Go ahead, I'll be waiting."

"Thanks, I'll be right back," Cash said as he turned and went to send for his expert.

Awhile later she arrived. The purple-maned white unicorn held her head high as she trotted into the shop and called, "Here I am, Mr. Cash! Ready to lend my expert opinion on your latest find!"

I am Rarity: resident fashionista, acclaimed designer and expert in all things fabulous! She proudly proclaimed to the camera. My designs are in constant demand and I strive to stay on the up-and-up in current fashion trends. Lately my boutique has been experiencing a surge in requests, so I have been constantly occupied with my work. But when I received Cash's message today I simply had to drop everything and see what had come into his shop for myself...

"Good to see you again, Rarity!" Cash greeted back to her. "Staying busy?"

"As always, Cash, but never too busy to help a friend," Rarity said. "So is it true? Do you actually have an item belonging to royalty in your shop right now?"

Cash motioned toward the closed wooden box. "In there," he said. "Slick?"

Slick put a hoof on the box, looked at Rarity and said, "How's this for royalty?" He opened the box.

Rarity looked wide-eyed at the shoe for a moment and her mouth opened a little. After a moment, she spoke, "Oh my goodness. Oh my word. Is that?"

"It is," Slick said.

"How in all of Equestria did you acquire one of Princess Celestia's shoes?" Rarity asked with equal parts astonishment and suspicion.

"He won't say," Cash spoke up. "He's keeping mum about the whole thing, so I need you to give this your best expert review in order to verify its authenticity for me."

"It would be my great pleasure to, Cash," Rarity told him. She looked at his customer and said, "Sir, I will need to remove the shoe from its box in order to conduct a proper evaluation. May I?"

"Go right ahead," Slick said.

Rarity used her magic to lift the shoe out of the box. She turned it around and around as she scrutinized it from every angle. The golden reflections off of the shoe's finish lit up her face in a yellowish hue. For nearly a minute she said nothing and wore a look of intense concentration upon her face.

Finally, she stopped turning the shoe around, looked at Cash and asked, "Have you made any offers on this yet? Did you see the jeweler's mark? Did you do any tests on the metal?"

"No, no and no," Cash answered. "I wanted you to check this out first, seeing as how you're probably one of the best experts on royalty in town."

"And it's a good thing you did," she said as she abruptly cut off her magic and let the heavy shoe drop back into the box, "because this shoe never did belong to the princess. It's a fake."

"What?!" Slick exclaimed as his toothpick flew out of his mouth. "Are you for real?"

"Absolutely, without a doubt," Rarity affirmed. "I know that every piece of metal Princess Celestia wears is custom-crafted by her own jeweler, who stamps his personal mark on everything he creates. I've seen that jeweler's mark for myself, and it's not stamped anywhere on that piece of scrap."

"Excuse me?!" Slick bellowed. "A piece of scrap?!"

"Yes, scrap's exactly what this thing is," Rarity said. "It might look pretty, but I couldn't detect a trace of precious metal in that thing."

"And how do you know that, missy?" He asked, becoming more livid.

"I could sense it through my magic," Rarity said confidently. "I am extremely adept at detecting precious metals and gemstones. But your piece has nothing of the sort. It's a dud."

Cash asked Rarity, "So you're positive that this shoe couldn't have belonged to Princess Celestia?"

"Without a doubt," Rarity said. "Somepony must have spent a lot of time trying to make this fake appear genuine. Even the wear patterns on it looked convincing." She then looked right at Slick and said, "A clever effort, but not clever enough."

Slick said nothing. He just stared coldly at her.

Cash then looked at Slick and asked, "You sure you don't have something to say about this?" When he didn't respond, he continued, "Well, I trust her judgement, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass. Sorry."

"She's wrong," Slick said indignantly. "She doesn't know what she's talking about. It's real."

"No, it's not, and I don't want it."

"Really? You're going to listen to this prima donna and pass this up?"

"I beg your pardon!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Yes, I am," Cash affirmed. "Now take your fake shoe and get out."

"What?" Slick asked.

"Did I stutter? I said get out of my shop."

"Do you know what your problem is?" Slick asked angrily.

"I've heard I have a lot of problems..." Cash muttered.

"Your problem is that you don't know a good thing when you see it," Slick said as he turned and positioned himself in front of one of Cash's counters. "I should've known that about you when I saw all the worthless junk in here!" Slick went up on his forelegs and gave the counter behind him a hard buck. The sounds of shattering glass, breaking wood and clattering merchandise filled the store, which scared nearby ponies and sent them running for cover.

Big Hoss heard this from the back office where he was doing paperwork. He got up from his work to investigate and saw the scene unfolding from across the showroom.

"Hey!" Cash was now in the angry pony's face and started to fume. "I'm telling you right now, get the buck out! You can walk out or I can drag your flank out!"

"Just who do you think you are?!" Rarity cut in as she stood on her hind legs and put up her front hooves . "Nopony destroys my friend's store or insults my expertise and gets away with it!"

Cash looked at her. "Rarity, don't," was all he could say before Slick landed a hoof across his face and knocked him to the floor. Now Slick got up in Rarity's face.

"You want some of this, lady?" He threatened.

Hoss saw Slick assault his father and cried out, "Dad!" He narrowed his eyes, gritted his teeth and scraped a front hoof against the floor twice before he took off toward Slick at a full gallop. "Look out everypony!" He yelled as the ponies in front of him moved out of his way. "Here comes Big Hoss!"

Slick was staring down Rarity when he looked over and saw Big Hoss charging toward toward him. "What the," was all he could say before Hoss jumped into the air and landed a piledriver on top of him. Rarity had dodged out of the way just in time as Hoss's hooves started connecting with Slick's face and body. In about ten seconds he had the con pony subdued, pinned to the floor with his forelegs wrapped behind his back. Big Hoss had his full weight on top of Slick as he strained to get free.

"Get off me...crazy pony," Slick said angrily. "I have...rights! I'll press...charges!"

Big Hoss pressed a hoof into Slick's back and he yelped in pain. "No, you won't," he said, "not after that scene you made here in front of all these witnesses. Good luck getting the authorities to believe your word over theirs." He looked at Cash and asked, "You okay, Dad?"

Cash groaned as he got up off the floor. "Yeah, I think so. The jackass rang my bell a little, that's all," he said. Cash looked at Rarity and continued, "Sorry about all this. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you," Rarity said as he looked down at Slick. "I'm sure I could have taken this scoundrel myself, but it's good that your son stepped in when he did. Thank you, Big Hoss."

"All part of the job, ma'am," he told her. Then he leaned down and spoke into Slick's ear, "If I ever see you in this store again, I swear I'll drag you out back and whoop you like a Diamond Dog, you hear me?" Slick just grumbled back.

"Well then!" Rarity declared, "That was more than enough excitement for my day. It seems like every time I come by your shop, Cash, something volatile occurs. Like the day I got my pawn loan here and the strange explosion that evening..."

I won't stand for con ponies like this guy in my store, Cash said on-camera. I should have trusted my gut before this happened. If somepony doesn't want to tell me about the thing they bring in, like where or how they got it, then I don't want it. I'm glad that Rarity was here to call him on that, and that Big Hoss stepped up when things started getting out of hand. What he did kept other ponies from getting injured, which is always our biggest concern when deals go bad like this. His main job is to be a pawnbroker, though, not a bouncer. This situation has given me a lot to think about...

About an hour later it was time to close up shop. Big Hoss had Slick thrown out and he was assessing the damages the con pony caused. Cash sat at his desk in the back office, rubbing the dark bruise that had appeared on his face.

"You gonna put something on that, son?" Old Money asked as he put his hat on and locked up his desk for the night. "I don't think rubbin' it with your hoof is helping."

"Yeah, when I get home," Cash answered as he got up and started locking his own desk.

"I heard Big Hoss really laid it into the pony who broke my counter," Old Money said. "Did you teach him how to fight like that?"

"I wish I did," Cash confessed. "That must've been something he picked up when he was getting into trouble all the time."

"Well, he really took that bull by the horns," Old Money said as he started walking out of the office. "Things coulda got real bad real quick if he didn't step up. I'd think about giving him a raise if he wasn't already family."

"And if you weren't so damn cheap," Cash added.

"That too," Old Money said. "G'night, see you in the mornin'."

"G'night, pops," Cash said.

A moment later, Hoss walked into the office and reported on the damages to Cash. "Well, it's not as bad as we thought," he said. "The glass needs to be replaced, of course, and the frame is busted. But it looks like that can be repaired pretty easy. And thankfully none of the merchandise is damaged. We just need to pick all the glass out of it and move some stuff around until the counter's fixed."

"Good deal then," Cash said. "So the glass is taken care of?"

"Yeah, I asked Derpy to start cleaning it up awhile ago."

"And how's that going?" Cash asked. "No, wait. Let's just go see." He and Hoss walked out of the office and through the showroom to the remains of the counter.

Derpy was flapping her wings and hovering above the mess. Now she wore the magnifying glasses as she used a broom and dustpan to clean up. "These things are great! I can see every little piece of glass on the floor!" She told them as she swept two tiny pieces of glass from one spot into the dustpan while ignoring a large pile of glass nearby.

Big Hoss shook his head. "I'd better help Derpy with this or she'll be here all night," he said as he went to find another broom.

"Wait," Cash called and stopped Hoss. "You know what? Let me help her clean up. You get on outta here."

"Really?" Hoss asked.

"Yeah, go on," Cash said. "You did some good work today taking care of that situation."

"I appreciate that, pops," Hoss said. "You know I've always got your back, right?"

"I know, son, but it's not just my back you had today," Cash explained. "You had the whole store's back. None of our customers were injured and I'm sure they felt safe knowing somepony like you could act quickly if things got out of hoof like they did. I'm happy to have you on the payroll, and proud that you're my son."

"Aw, really?" Big Hoss asked. He looked behind at Derpy, who appeared to be engrossed in the cleanup job. Satisfied that she wasn't looking at them, Big Hoss went up to his father and hugged him. "Thanks, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too, son," Cash said as they finished hugging. "Now go grab your pay out of the safe and take off."

"You bet, I'll be right back," Hoss said as he went back toward the office.

Cash cantered up to Derpy, careful to step around any stray glass on the floor. "Hey, Derpy?"

She stopped and looked at him with gigantic googly fisheyes. "Yes?" She asked.

He reached up and slipped the glasses off of her face, which made made her blink and shake her head about. "Lose the specs," he told her. "They're not the best look for you anyhow." He set them down onto a counter next to the broken one.

Hoss came back with a brown sack of coins tied around his neck. "All right, guys, it's been fun today," he said. "See you all tomorrow."

"See ya!" Derpy said.

"See you then, son," Cash said.

He started toward the door, then turned around and walked up to his father. "You know, Dad," he said, "if you really want to, you can start calling me Junior again."

"Aw, really?" Cash said smiling.

After a moment, Hoss shook his head and answered, "No. Don't you ever call me Junior." He turned to walk out the door. "Later, pops."

"I'm still calling you Junior, Junior!" Cash yelled after him.

"Can't hear you!" Hoss yelled back.

Cash went to pick up the other broom and started sweeping with Derpy. After a moment, Derpy stopped and said, "Wait a minute, boss. You called him Junior. As in, Cash Money, Jr.?"

"Yeah, that's his legal name," Cash said. "He obviously doesn't like it, so don't mention it."

"You bet I won't," she said as she continued sweeping. "After all, he's not the only pony around here with two names."

"Yeah," Cash said as he swept some more. Then he stopped, looked at Derpy and asked, "Wait, what?"

Episode 5: The Ponyguard

I'm Cash Money, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my sire, Old Money; and my colt, Big Hoss.

Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned in all my years in Ponyville, is that you never know WHAT is going to trot through that door.

This is Ponyville Pawn Stars.

Big Hoss had just completed the first sale of the day. He bought a set of carpenter's tools from another earth pony. As the two of them shook hooves Hoss said, "Let's go write this up." But before they could move on to the next counter, Cash Money came up from behind the counter and approached Hoss.

"Hey, son," he said under his breath, "when you got done here I need you in the back for a meeting."

"Yeah, Pops, just give me a few minutes," Hoss replied.

"All right then, we'll be waiting," Cash said before he trotted off toward the back office.

Awhile later, Big Hoss finished up his business with the customer and walked into the back office where he joined the meeting between Cash, Old Money and Derpy. He looked at the gray mare, then at his father and asked, "She's part of this meeting, too?"

"I'll explain," Cash said. "Have a seat, let's get started."

Hoss took a seat at his desk as Cash shuffled a few papers on his desktop. He cleared his throat and began speaking:

"Alright, guys, listen up. About a month ago, as you all remember, we had an incident in the shop involving a fake royal artifact and a rather ticked-off con pony. When the dust settled, one of our display counters got busted up and I was assaulted. But thankfully, Big Hoss here quickly intervened before anypony else was injured."

"Yay, boss Hoss!" Derpy exclaimed as she clapped her hooves excitedly. Big Hoss smiled and nodded his head in acknowledgement.

"Although I commend his efforts then," he continued, "I have to point out that it's not his job to ensure the safety of the customers or merchandise. As a pawnbroker, his job is to provide good customer service."

"Um, Dad?" Hoss cut in. "I'm not following you. Not to toot my own horn too loudly, but I protected everypony in the shop from one violent lunatic pretty much all on my own. I'd call that outstanding customer service if you ask me."

"Boy, shut up and listen to yer sire," Old Money piped up. "He's got a point to make and he don't need none of yer backsassin'."

"Pops, it's alright, I'm getting to it," Cash said to his father before he addressed his son. "What I mean is that you can't conduct regular business at your best if you've got to intervene in situations like that."

"I can't remember if we've ever had a situation like that before," Hoss said. "Who knows when it'll happen again?"

"Ponies kicking over counters haven't been my only concern lately," Cash countered. "I'm also concerned about the number of shoplifting attempts we've had in here."

"Shoplifting?" Hoss asked incredulously. "Dad, we're all over that. Nothing gets by us and nopony tries to steal our stuff without us knowing about it. I mean, even Derpy can spot a shoplifter." He stopped, turned to look her in the crossed eyes and added, "No offense, Derpy."

She shrugged and replied, "Eh, none taken."

"My point," Cash stated, "is that we all can focus on being better salesponies if our heads aren't constantly on a swivel looking for those signs of trouble in the shop. That's why a few weeks ago I went ahead and started looking for candidates to work a security guard position at the shop."

"A security guard? Here?" Hoss asked. "Seriously?"

"Look, I know Ponyville doesn't have the same crime rate as Manehatten or Las Pegasus..."

"Dad, Ponyville doesn't have one-tenth their crime rate! I say hiring a security guard here is completely unnecessary. Do we even have the hours available on the payroll for that?"

"Yes, son, we do," Cash assured him. "I've crunched the numbers and I've made up my mind. Store security is very important to me, so we're hiring a security guard. And you and Derpy are going to interview the candidates."

"Derpy and I are interviewing them? When?"

"Today."

"Today? Like, today today?"

"What, is there an echo in here? Yes, today today! I've got all their applications right here for you," he said as he tapped a stack of papers on his desk with a hoof. "You and Derpy can go set up an interview area in the break room. I'll send the candidates back there as they come in."

Big Hoss sighed as he looked at Derpy and said, "All right then. Come on, let's go set everything up." The two of them got up and walked toward the break room.

I'm putting Big Hoss in charge of evaluating the applicants because once he chooses one, it'll be his responsibility to follow up on security measures with him, Cash said in an on-camera interview. The security guard has got to keep our stuff from walking out the door unpaid and keep ponies from getting uppity with the brokers. As the shift leader, Big Hoss has to make sure that guard is up to snuff. It's important that he is because Hoss can't always be there to do the flank-kicking. Then again, flank-kicking usually isn't the best first response in a business setting...

A short time later Big Hoss and Derpy has the break room area set up for their interviews. The two of them sat side-by-side at the table with all of the applications in front of them. No sooner than they had finished, the door opened a little and Cash poked his head in.

"You guys ready?" He asked. "Your first applicant's here."

"Yeah, Dad, send him in," Big Hoss replied.

Cash left, and a moment later the door opened wide to reveal a huge white muscle-bound pegasus with tiny wings and a set of barbells on his flank. He had a buzzcut mane and an earring in his left ear.

Derpy's eyes popped wide open at the sight of him. Hoss greeted, "Good morning, um," he paused to read the name on the application, "Snowflake, is it?"

"Yeeeeah!" he exclaimed. "That's me!"

"Go ahead and take a seat," Hoss said. As Snowflake sat at the other side of the table he continued, "So tell me, what do you think qualifies you as a security pony?"

"Well, how about these bad boys for starters?!" Snowflake started flexing his foreleg muscles and grunted, "Oh yeah, check 'em out! They're ready to work for you!"

"All right, tough guy, simmer down now," Hoss said. "I see you've got some great, um, physical qualifications. So let's move on. Imagine for a minute that you're in the shop and you see somepony trying to slip something of ours into their saddlebag without paying for it. What do you do?"

"I'd jump on that pony, that's what I'd do!" Snowflake answered.

"Okay then," Hoss said, "so you'd confront the pony and say what?"

"Nothin'! Like I said, I'd jump on them, wrestle 'em to the floor, and make 'em cry uncle 'til they give the stuff back!"

Derpy and Big Hoss stared blankly at the hulking pony for a moment. Then Hoss spoke up, "Um, no. Tackling the offender is not the right answer. You'd want to approach them first if you can without calling too much attention to the situation."

"Oh," he replied. "Okay, gotcha."

Hoss continued, "Now suppose you see somepony getting an attitude with one of the brokers. How would you handle that situation?"

"Jump on 'em!" Snowflake exclaimed again.

"No!" Hoss repeated, "Again, not the right answer."

Derpy then piped up, "But boss Hoss, that's what you did."

"Yeah!" Snowflake said, "That's right! Isn't that how it all went down with that one guy last month? He copped an attitude and you mopped the floor with 'em!"

"That was different," Hoss reasoned. "He was already destroying our property and threatening other ponies. We want to keep those situations from escalating to that level." He picked up a quill in his mouth, wrote some notes on the application and said to Snowflake, "On that note, I think I have all the information I need from you."

"Really?" He asked as he stood up. "That's it? Great!"

"Do you have any questions for me before you go?" Hoss queried.

Snowflake was about to turn and leave when he stopped and replied, "Actually, I do. Do you guys do any, um, random substance testing on your employees?"

Hoss answered, "Well no, not currently. Why do you ask?"

"Ah, no reason!" Snowflake said as his tiny wings flitted about. "No reason at all..."

"All right then," Hoss said. "Good talking with you, we'll let you know when we make our decision."

"Yeah, you bet! See ya!" Snowflake left the room and closed the door behind him.

"Okay," Hoss said as he picked up the quill again and made more notes on Snowflake's application. "So that one's a firm no."

"Really?" Derpy asked. "That's too bad. He was interesting."

Meanwhile as Snowflake was leaving, he brushed past a gray unicorn gentlecolt wearing saddlebags at the front door. He cantered through the showroom and up to the back counter, where Cash greeted him.

"Good morning," he said. "Welcome to the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop."

"Mornin'," the unicorn replied.

"What can we do for you today?" Cash asked.

"I hear you collect old stuff," the customer remarked.

"I do if it's worth anything," Cash said. Then he quickly added, "And if it's authentic."

"Well, I hope you'll be interested in this," the unicorn said as he used his magic to pull something out of his bag. It was a rectangular object wrapped in a black cloth. As he set it on the counter he continued, "It's been in my family for generations, but my youngest daughter is set to go to college in Canterlot and I need to start paying her tuition." He magically unwrapped the object to reveal a framed picture. "How would you like to own an original Leonard DiHoovsie drawing?"

"Are you serious?" Cash asked as he took a closer look at the contents of the pictureframe. Inside was a deeply yellowed canvas with diagrams and notations in a foreign language written upon it.

"It looks like plans for some kind of flying machine," Cash said.

"It is," the customer confirmed. "My grandfather was an aeronautical engineer when he picked this up many, many years ago. He had it hung in his office as a little something to brag about. He'd tell his clients that he'd use it as inspiration to help ponykind get into the air. When he passed on, this piece went to my dad, who kept it locked up in our vault where it's been sitting ever since."

This is one of the coolest things I've seen in quite awhile," Cash said in an on-camera interview. DiHoovsie was an incredibly talented painter, artist and inventor. He came up with all kinds of concepts and ideas that were way ahead of his time. I'm sure there are still ideas of his that we're still waiting on to happen. The thing I am concerned about with this piece is whether or not it's an authentic work of DiHoovsie's. The Royal Astrolia Society for the Preservation of the Arts owns most of his work, so it's very rare to find one in the hooves of a private collector. I was almost burned on a fake artifact before, so I want to be extra careful with this one.

"Does the RASPA know that you have this?" Cash asked.

"I'm sure they do," the unicorn answered. "I remember my dad telling me about how they approached him once asking him to donate it. He refused, of course, because it had too much sentimental value for him to part with. I've considered contacting them, but they'd probably ask that I donate it to them rather than sell it."

"So how much do you want for it?" Cash inquired.

"Well, college in Canterlot ain't cheap," the customer said. "I was thinking I'd get at least ten thousand bits for it. The smaller paintings of his are worth about that much."

"Hmm," Cash thought aloud. "The thing about that is, those are full-blown paintings. But what you have here is essentially a drawing on canvas. These things are hard to authenticate and even harder to value. Would you mind if I called in an expert to take a look at this and get a better fix on what it's worth? She lives right here in town."

"Sure thing, go right ahead," he said.

"Great," Cash said. "I'll send for her."

Some time later a purple unicorn galloped into the showroom. She found Cash and the customer and ran up to them. "Hi, Cash!" she said excitedly. "I got your message and got here as fast as I could! Is it here?! Is the DiHoovsie here?!"

"Yes, Twilight, it's right here," Cash assured her. "Now calm down before you start freaking out the customer."

My name's Twilight Sparkle, and I'm an expert in Equestrian art and history, she said in an on-camera interview outside of the store. I was at the library doing my monthly recataloging when I received Cash's message. When I heard that he wanted me to authenticate an original DiHoovsie, I had to drop everything and rush over here as fast as my legs could carry me!

"Okay then!" Twilight said as she composed herself. She looked at the customer and said, "Forgive my enthusiasm, sir, but I love DiHoovsie's work. I've researched him for years and I'm confident that I can discern the value of your piece with absolute certainty."

"That's quite alright, young lady," the customer said. "It's always nice to meet a patron of the arts. Here it is." He magically moved the black cloth aside and revealed the framed drawing.

"Oh my goodness," Twilight said as she stared at the piece. "Sir, would it be okay if I removed the drawing from its frame so I could more closely examine it?"

"Sure, allow me," he said as he magically turned the frame over, unfastened the clasps on the back and lifted it off to reveal a rectangular piece of tattered canvas.

Twilight magically lifted the canvas and held it in front of her. She turned it over a couple times before she set it down and declared, "Gentlecolts, I'm happy to report that you have a genuine DiHoovsie sitting before you!"

"You sure, Twilight?" Cash asked. "That sure didn't take you long."

"Oh, I'm positive, Cash!" she assured him. "I've studied DiHoovsie for years, and have attainted intimate knowledge of all his work."

"Well, that's good," he said. "I thought...wait a minute, Twilight, did you just say 'intimate' knowledge?"

At that moment she blushed and replied, "Oh, uh whoops, did I say intimate? I meant, um, in-depth, in-depth knowledge of his work!"

Cash looked at her with a raised eyebrow and said, "Uh, Twi? I don't know what kinds of history books you read, but what you do on your time doesn't have to be any of my business."

"If you don't mind me asking," the customer said as he broke the awkward moment, "how do you know this is the real deal?"

"Well," Twilight explained, "aside from DiHoovsie's telltale writing and design style, the canvas itself is a definite sign of its authenticity. The piece is roughly cut with angled edges, which suggests that it came from a much larger canvas. That would be consistent with DiHoovsie's sketching methods. He would compose all of his ideas on a gigantic canvas whenever he got inspired, and then separate each sketch later."

Cash nodded as he listened to her little history lesson, then asked, "So what do you think it's worth?"

Twilight looked at the customer and asked, "So do you want the good news first or the bad?"

"Bad news first, I always say," he remarked with a hint of disappointment.

"The bad news is that the condition of this piece isn't all that great, and it's rather small. Both those reasons make it a difficult display piece, which certainly affects its value," Twilight explained. "However, his sketches are every bit as desirable as his paintings among collectors. Plus, the flying machine subject matter is definitely appealing to both historians and airship enthusiasts. If I had to put a value on this right now, I'd say this is worth about five or six thousand bits."

"That still doesn't sound like good news to me," the customer said. "That's a lot lower than what I expected."

"Unfortunately, the art market is taking a huge hit lately," Twilight said. "Ponies aren't buying art like they used to. There's nothing we can do about that."

Cash extended a hoof towards Twilight and said, "Well, Twi, thanks for your help again."

Twilight shook his hoof and replied, "Always a pleasure, Cash. If you need me again today I'll be sorting books at the library. See you later!"

As she left, Cash turned to the customer and asked, "So what do you think? Still want to part with it?"

"That depends," he said. "What are you willing to offer for it?"

"You probably won't like it," Cash answered, but I'm willing to give you three thousand for it."

"That's all? Your expert said it was worth six thousand."

"Yes, but she quoted you a retail price," Cash reasoned. "I don't pay retail, I sell retail."

The customer stood silently for a moment and looked at the drawing as he pondered the offer. He looked back at Cash and said, "You're putting me in a real bind. This is my daughter's college education we're talking about."

"I know," Cash said, "you're trying to take care of your family and I respect that. But I'm running a business here, not a charity. I can offer you four thousand and that's it. And you and I know RASPA won't make you that kind of offer."

"True," he said as he thought over Cash's new offer. Finally he replied, "Well, I suppose I'll take your offer. It'll at least get me started on tuition."

"Good deal then," Cash said as they shook hooves. "Let's go write this up."

I'm happy to have got my hooves on this piece, Cash said in an on-camera interview. But I can't tell you how many times I've heard somepony's sad story about needing the money for this or that. I'm a father, so believe me, I've been there. The bottom line is I'm not in the business of holding ponies' hooves, I'm in the business of making money.

Back in the break room, Big Hoss and Derpy prepared for the next security guard job applicant. Soon a loud knock sounded at the door, which signaled their arrival. "Come on in," Hoss called.

The door opened and an immense gray minotaur wearing a skinny black tie stepped into the room. Derpy started trembling in fear at the sight of him and slunk down in her chair.

Big Hoss didn't appear to be fazed at all by the applicant's appearance. "And you are?" He asked.

"Iron Will's the name, and guarding your stuff's my game!" he declared as he took a seat at the other side of the table. "Or at least it will be once you hire me. I'm looking to pick up a couple months of work before I tour again presenting my motivational seminars."

"So you're a motivational speaker?" Hoss asked. "That's cool."

"I'm more than that! I'm an empowerment coach!" Iron Will clarified. "I turn meek little ponies into lean, mean, assertive machines!"

"And based upon your skills, what do you think qualifies you for this job?"

"Two things!" he said as he extended two fingers from a hairy fist. "One, a positive mental attitude!"

Hoss nodded and replied, "Well, that's always a good thing to have..."

Iron Will cut him off as he continued, "And two, a desire to crush anypony who stands in Iron Will's way!"

"Whoa, whoa!" Hoss said as he put a hoof up at Iron Will. "Let me tell you right now that there's no crushing in this job, no crushing necessary."

"Fair enough," the minotaur said as he leaned back. "Just putting it out there for when it does become necessary."

"We'll see," Hoss said as he made some notes on Iron Will's application. "Let me ask you this: if you were already working for me in the shop and you saw somepony trying to steal something of ours, what would you do?"

"Let me refer you to a maxim of mine," he answered. "When somepony tries to steal, let 'em know you're for real!"

"Catchy," Hoss replied. "So what does that mean?"

"It means I'd get up in their face, like this!" he got up, leaned across the table and put his face just inches away from Derpy's. She trembled even more and whimpered as he continued, "Then I'd say something like, 'hey dirtbag! I saw that! You gonna pay for that or what?!'"

"Dude! Back off my associate!" Hoss interjected. Iron Will obeyed and sat back down. Derpy nearly fainted and slumped down in her chair. Hoss continued, "That's not how we handle situations like that here, Will..."

"It's Iron Will," he clarified.

"Whatever," Hoss said. "The point is we don't address problems with that kind of aggression. What if somepony is already in that bad of a mood while he's talking to me or one of the other brokers? Is that how you'd approach that situation, too?"

"Of course not!" he defended. "Anyone with half a brain would know better than that!

"Well good, because I was thinking..."

"That calls for another one of my catchphrases!" Iron Will cut him off again and recited, "When somepony gets in your face, it's time to put 'em in their place! That's when I march right up to them, grab them by the mane and..."

"No!" Hoss cut his words short this time. He shook his head and said, "We don't lay hooves...or those hairy claw things of yours...on other ponies in this store. Not unless somepony is in actual physical danger, which I'll tell you right now isn't likely to happen in this line of work."

"What? You're kidding, right?" Iron Will seemed surprised at this information. "I thought this was a security job. Aren't my assertiveness methods effective at keeping your shop secure?"

"Assertiveness methods?" Cash asked. "You mean those rhyming slogans of yours are your methods?"

"They sure are!" he affirmed. "All the namby-pamby ponies in your town pay good money to hear those slogans! And I'm sharing 'em with you pro-bono!"

"So this is stuff you teach to other ponies? And they pay you to teach them how to act like jerks?"

"Of course! And they all come with a money-back guarantee!" Iron Will flashed a big, shiny grin and gave a hairy thumbs-up.

"Well then," Hoss said as he picked up the quill in his mouth again and made some notes on Iron Will's application, "I think I have all the information I need from you. Any questions you have for us?"

"Just one," Iron Will said as he thrust a finger at Derpy, who still trembled in her chair. "When are you gonna get her to one of my seminars? I mean, don't get me wrong, you seem to have your act together. But look at her! That's practically a cry for help right there!"

"I'll take that under advisement," Hoss replied. "In the meantime, we'll let you know when we make our decision. But if I could offer you a personal piece of advice: don't quit your day job."

"I don't intend to!" Iron Will declared as he stood up. "You all take care now!"

"Bye now," Hoss said as Iron Will slammed the door loudly behind him.

"S-scary...m-m-monster..." Derpy stammered.

"He's not a monster, Derpy, he's a minotaur," Hoss said as he wrote more notes on the application. "And he's not hired."

I'm starting to think that what I did last month may have set a bad precedent for these applicants, Hoss said in an on-camera interview. What am I going to tell my dad when I go through all of these interviews and don't find a single applicant qualified enough for the job? There has to be somepony who applied thinking he doesn't have to kick some flank to keep the peace around here...

Meanwhile in the showroom, a large brown earth pony with a black mane approached one of the counters where Cash stood. He began to greet the customer, "Hi, welcome to the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop. Can I help..."

Suddenly, a small explosion went off and a cloud of black smoke filled the air around Cash and the customer. They coughed on the soot and as the smoke cleared a loud voice was heard:

"You will not help that pony, pawnbroker! You now will assist me!"

As the smoke cleared, Cash could make out a blue unicorn mare dressed in magician's robes. She wore a matching hat and a sparkly saddlebag. Once Cash recognized her, he groaned, "Oh no..."

"That's right," she declared. "The Great and Powerful Trixie demands your attention!"

Cash coughed some more and said, "Well, as the great and powerful pawnbroker, I ask that you don't set off smoke bombs in my shop or else!"

"Or else what?" She countered.

"What in Equestria's goin' on up here?!" Old Money bellowed as he shuffled toward the commotion. "I swear, if it isn't ponies kicking over our counters it's...you again?!"

"Oh yes, good to see you again, old-timer...not!" Trixie said.

"Wait a minute," Cash said. "Dad, you've done business with her?"

"Hardly," Old Money scoffed. "She was here last month trying to pass off a glass ball as some priceless crystal wizard's doohickey. I wouldn't buy anything she puts in front of me."

"Hmph, fine then," Trixie huffed. She looked at Cash and continued, "If your father won't do business with Trixie, then perhaps you will be willing to."

"Well, it doesn't sound like you gave my dad the best of first impressions last time you came in," Cash said. "Tell you what. I'll give you thirty seconds to interest me in whatever it is you want to sell me. If I'm not interested when your time's up, I want you out. Sound good?"

"Fair enough," Trixie answered as she used her magic to slip a dark wooden object out of her bag and onto the counter. With a commanding voice she described the object, "Behold! What you see before your eyes is a relic of a lost age! This wooden totem dates back to prehistoric pony times, when our ancestors roamed the lands in nomadic tribes. It is symbolic of the unicorn race's dominion over all ponykind."

"It's a unicorn with three earth ponies bowing before it," Cash said. "It's a decorative art statuette. You have twenty seconds."

"This is no ordinary statuette!" Trixie boasted. "It was hoof-carved by an earth pony carpenter, then imbued by a unicorn shaman with a powerful magical aura! It is said that those who pay tribute to the memory of the shaman will be rewarded in all walks of life."

"So essentially," Cash reasoned, "it's a good luck charm."

"A typical attitude from a pony who respects the power of money over the power of magic," Trixie said.

"Do you have anything to prove what exactly this thing is, where it comes from or what it does?" Cash asked. "You have ten seconds."

"As a matter of fact, yes!" the unicorn proclaimed as she magically lifted a large book out of her saddlebag. She laid it upon the counter and opened it to a bookmarked page, upon which was a picture of the artifact as well as passages of text with information about it. "Right there!" Trixie said as she laid a hoof on a text passage.

As Cash read over the information he paraphrased aloud, "It says totems like this were crafted in the far western lands of Equestria for shamens in the first unicorn tribes. This was done to pay respect to the unicorn elder, who with his magical brethren were responsible for pulling the sun through the sky which allowed the earth ponies' crops to grow. When the tribal shamans passed on, they were often entombed with these totems buried with them." He looked up at Trixie and asked, "What are you, a grave robber? Is that where you got this from?"

"Certainly not!" she defended. "This has been in Trixie's family for centuries. No good-natured pony would dare defile the graves of our ancestors!"

"What do you think, son?" Old Money asked. "Want to escort her out or should I go get Big Hoss?"

"No, Dad, hold on," Cash told him before he looked at Trixie and said, "Okay, I'll bite. You've got me interested. Just tell me why you want to sell it and how much you want for it."

"Well, as she mentioned to your father before," she explained, "Trixie is planning to tour again soon and needs to secure funding in order to get started. Her efforts up to now have been...less than successful."

"You don't say?" Old Money cut in.

"Shh," Cash hushed his father.

"Ahem," Trixie cleared her throat and continued, "Pieces such as this have been appraised by historians and valued at tens of thousands of bits! Due to Trixie's situation she is willing to part with this one for a sum of only ten thousand bits."

"Ten thousand bits, huh?" Cash asked as he rubbed his chin with a hoof, thinking over her offer as he did. "I don't think that's out of the ballpark for something like this, but I prefer that the appraisal comes from one of my historians."

"You want to call in Twilight for this one?" Old Money asked him. "She's good with all this unicorn magic-type stuff."

"Nah," Cash said. "She was just here, I don't want to bug her again. Besides, I've got a better idea of who I should get for this." He looked at Trixie and asked, "Would you mind waiting a bit while I send for my expert?"

"That's fine," she answered before she said firmly, "but try not to keep Trixie waiting."

"Good then," he said, "I'll be right back."

Cash turned and trotted off toward the back of the shop. Soon he was at the door to the break room. He opened it and found Big Hoss and Derpy looking over the security guard applications.

"Hey guys, how are the interviews coming?" Cash asked.

"Horribly," Big Hoss replied. "Where did you find these weirdos, anyway?"

"They answered the ad, son, I had no control over that," Cash said. "Hey, Derpy?"

"Yeah, boss?"

"I need you to fly out to the Everfree Forest for me."

"Eep!" Derpy jumped out of her chair and fluttered in the air over Big Hoss. "Um, you need me to go there, boss?"

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Cash asked.

"Oh no, no problem at all!" she said as she shook her head. "Anyplace else you need me to go? Like maybe a dragon's den or a hyrda's lair?"

"Come on, Derpy," Cash said, "I just need you to go to Zecora's and tell her I need her for a consult. Besides, you're a pegasus, so you can zip there and back in no time."

"It's still a scary place, boss!" Derpy exclaimed. "Tell you what. Let me leave work a half-hour early today and I'll do it."

"Fine," Cash conceded, "but just this once. Next time I ask you to go that way, you go no questions asked. Got me?"

Derpy gave a guffawed salute and replied, "Aye aye, boss!" She flapped her wings harder and zipped out of the room.

Big Hoss looked at Cash and asked, "Hey, why didn't you ask me to go?"

"Because you'll take too long," he answered.

"What, because I don't have wings?"

"No, because you'll just waste time puttering around town!" Cash said. "Now sit tight here in case another applicant comes in." He left the room and closed the door behind him.

A short while later, a zebra adorned with golden rings around her neck and one of her forelegs trotted into the shop. She walked toward the counter where Old Money, Cash and Trixie waited for her.

"Well, it's about time your expert showed up!" Trixie said in exasperation.

"Forgive my customer, Zecora," Cash said, "I'm sure she appreciates you going out of your way for us."

"I would have arrived sooner, but my trek from the Everfree was long," Zecora said. "But now I am here and ready to help at your house of pawn."

I am Zecora, she said in her on-camera interview, and I've seen many things in my travels both strange and unreal. For that reason I am often here to advise Mr. Cash on many of his deals. Even for knowledgeable ponies like Mr. Cash, their efforts to define these curiosities will fail. That is why, in those rare cases, I'm called to fill in the details.

"Really? A zebra?" Trixie asked Cash. "You called in a zebra as your expert?"

"Zecora's at least as knowledgeable as you claim to be, and has traveled more than anypony 'round here," Old Money said firmly. "If you want my son to consider buying your totem, then I suggest you hush up and let her look it over."

Trixie complied and was silent. Zecora looked over the statuette, turning it over with both hooves to examine every angle of it. Then she read over the textbook Trixie brought in with it. Finally, she finished her evaluation and spoke:

"The information here is true as far as I know, for totems like these were once crafted long ago," Zecora said. "The unicorn shamans were considered powerful even in the ancient time, as the magic they did helped all ponykind. This totem shows three earth ponies paying respects as they bow, giving thanks for the sun that warms the fields they plow."

"Her book said these statues are usually buried with the ponies who made them," Cash asked, "Why do you think this one wasn't buried?"

"It is not uncommon for these totems to be kept with the living rather than the ones who've passed," she explained. "So Trixie isn't the first to keep this kind of item in the family, nor is she the last."

"There you have it!" Trixie exclaimed. "My artifact is genuine, and I will start our negotiating at ten thousand bits!"

"However," she said, stressing the word, "in regards to this statue, this carving you did bring: what you have here is not the real thing."

"Excuse me?" Trixie asked, dumbfounded.

"The wood is too fresh, and the carvings too new," Zecora said, pointing at the imperfections with a hoof. "This statue is not nearly old enough for your story to be true."

"You're saying there's no way this could be as old as the textbook says?" Cash asked.

"No, because I'll show you what was apparent all along," Zecora said as she turned the statuette over and pointed with a hoof. "The inscription underneath, clearly labeled, 'Made in Hong Prong.'"

"What?!" Trixie yelled. "That cannot be! Trixie was sure this was an authentic artifact!"

"Looks like you should have double-checked your facts," Zecora said, "for this is just a reproduction, likely sold at a tourist trap."

"Well, that's about all I need to know," Cash said as he shook hooves with Zecora. "Thank you again for coming in to check this out."

"Of course, anytime," Zecora said before she turned and left the shop.

Cash looked at Trixie and said, "You heard my expert. It's not real, so I don't want it."

"This is preposterous!" she exclaimed. "Trixie will not be made a fool of in here!"

"But you were," Old Money cut in. "Twice."

"Those are the breaks," Cash said. "I certainly hope you get your touring money, but it won't be today and it won't be from me."

"Whatever," she said indignantly as she magically shoved the book and statuette back into her saddlebag. "Trixie's outta here, losers!" With a flash, a bang and a cloud of black smoke she was gone, leaving Cash and Old Money coughing on the soot once again.

When Old Money finally caught his breath, he muttered, "I wish she'd stop doing that."

I think I can now say that I've seen and heard it all in this business, Cash said in an on-camera interview. My experts and I have debunked a lot of bogus stuff in here. But to hear it being done in rhyme to Trixie? Now that's priceless!

In the break room, Big Hoss and Derpy were sitting at the table with their heads in their front hooves when another knock sounded at the door. In a voice that resonated both boredom and disappointment, Cash said, "Come in."

The door opened, but nopony entered. Hoss and Derpy got puzzled looks on their faces and straightened themselves up in their chairs. Hoss leaned forward over the table to see if somepony was waiting outside of the room. He called out, "Hello?"

Suddenly, the head of a midnight blue pegasus pony popped up right in front of his face. "Whoa!" Hoss said, startled at the sight as he nearly jumped out of his chair.

"Hello," the pony replied in a foreign, smooth-sounding accent. "I am Indigo."

"I'm Big Hoss," he returned, "and you about scared the crabapples outta me."

"Forgive me, that was not my intention," Indigo said as he took a seat on the other side of the table. "I only meant to demonstrate my potential for your job offer."

"Well, okay then," Hoss said as he found Indigo's application in the pile of papers. "That's a good visual demonstration of your abilities. But would you mind just telling me how you feel you are qualified for the security goard position?"

"I am a stealth pegasus," he explained. "I have trained my mind and body to react in the combonation of both speed and silence. I can be here..."

He abruptly stopped talking before he disappeared from the spot he was sitting in. "And up here," he said.

Hoss and Derpy looked around for a second before they looked up. They glimpsed Indigo standing on the ceiling before he disappeared again.

"And here," his voice said behind the pawnbrokers, which made them jump and turn around only to glimpse him again. They faced to the front to see Indigo sitting at the other side of the table once again. "In the blink of an eye," he finished.

"Wow," Hoss said. "I've gotta say that I'm impressed. So tell me, how would you use these skills of yours to keep our shop secure?"

"With my abilities, I can see everything and remain unseen," Indigo said. "My eyes will be everywhere around the shop, and nopony will even realize they are being watched."

"Impressive," Hoss said as he made notes on the application. "Kinda creepy, but impressive. So if your all-seeing eyes see somepony trying to steal something, what would you do?"

"I would spring into action!" Indigo exclaimed. "Quick as a flash I'll fly by them, and as I do so, I slip the item from their grasp. Then they leave believing they still hold their ill-gotten gains and you retain your inventory."

"Clever," Hoss remarked. "But what if they catch you trying to take it back?"

"They won't," Indigo said confidently.

"But what if they do?"

"They won't," he insisted with narrowed eyes.

The room went silent for a moment. Then Hoss said, "Okay then, moving on. That's a good strategy for a shoplifting incident, but let's say that you see a customer getting angry with me or one of my associates. How would you move in and handle that situation?"

"Ah, well," Indigo began to speak. But then he stopped and appeared to ponder the question for a moment. After several seconds, he spoke again, "Clearly I would have to, er, move in on them and...uh, that is, I'd place myself between them and..."

Hoss gave him another moment to attempt at composing an answer. Then he said, "Hey, if you don't know, that's okay. Nopony has the right answer all the time."

Indigo sighed. "Forgive me, Hoss," he said. "I will admit that while I am an expert at remaining in the periphery, actual confrontation is a difficult task for me. I'm afraid I do not know the right answer to your question."

"I admire your candor, Indigo, and I admit your stealth skills would be a great asset to us," Hoss said as he made more notes. "But being up-front with other ponies is an important part of the job, too, just to let you know."

"Of course," Indigo said. "Believe me, I will make any effort to serve you better in that capacity."

"Oh, I'm sure you will," Hoss said. "You seem very dedicated about your personal skills. Tell you what. Let's give you some time to work on that, and us some time to evaluate our other applicants. Then we'll talk again later on. Sound good?"

"That sounds fine to me," Indigo answered.

"So, do you have any questions for us?"

"I have a couple for her," he said as he looked at Derpy. He leaned in close to her, smiled and said, "I do not believe I heard your name. What is it and what are you doing after your shift?"

Derpy smiled, blushed and giggled a little. "Oh my," she said, "aren't you the charming pegasus? I'm Derpy, and as a matter of fact..."

"Hey, Indigo!" Hoss interrupted Derpy and continued, "What's with the suave attitude all of a sudden? I thought you weren't good with confrontations."

"Some confrontations, yes," he admitted. "But this kind is perfectly natural to me." Indigo leaned in closer to Derpy, smiled again and said, "So, pretty mare, you were saying?"

Hoss got up, went around the table and started pushing Indigo out of the room. "Sorry, she's on the clock, can't talk now!" he pushed him outside the door and quickly said, "We'll let you know about the job, bye now!" Hoss slammed the door shut.

Derpy was still smiling when she said, "Oh, I like him."

"Sorry, Derpy," Hoss said as he walked back around the table and sat next to her. "Although he is the first applicant who didn't want to bash somepony's head in, I still don't think he's right for the job. They just keep getting weirder and weirder. What's next?"

Just then they heard some muffled yelling and the beating of hooves from behind the door. After a moment everything was silent. Then a soft knock sounded at the door.

"I had to ask, didn't I?" Hoss said to himself before he called, "Come in."

The door creaked open a little and a yellow pony with a pink mane poked her head in. She spoke meekly, "Um, I'm sorry, but is this the place for the security job interviews?"

"Fluttershy?" Hoss asked, surprised. "Yes, it is. But, honestly, I didn't expect to see you here, of all ponies. In fact," he said as he checked the applications, "there's only one applicant in my stack I haven't seen yet, and that's a guy named, 'Ted.' I don't think you're Ted."

"Oh no, Hoss, of course not," Fluttershy said. She laughed a little before she opened the door all the way open to reveal a huge brown bear standing behind her. "He's Ted."

Derpy jumped out of her chair and hid behind Hoss, who asked, "Um, why did you bring a bear in here?"

"He's the job applicant," Fluttershy explained as the hulking bear grumbled a little and scratched himself. "I heard about your dad's search for a security guard and I wanted to help out. Then I thought, what could be more protective and perfect for the job than a bear? So I filled out his application for him."

"Fluttershy, I hate to break it to you," Hoss said, "but a bear can't work here."

"Oh, but he's not dangerous!" she defended the giant furball as she nuzzled her head against him. "He's the sweetest, nicest bear you could ever meet!"

"Maybe so," Hoss reasoned, "but I still can't hire him for a couple reasons. Firstly, as nice as he might seem to you, didn't he scare off everypony in the showroom when you brought him in?"

"Oh, but that was just for a minute!" she said.

"You realize Derpy's still hiding behind me, right?" He said as he continued, "And second, even if everypony was okay with him working here, Ted's technically your pet. I can't legally pay a pet to work for me."

"Oh," she said as she lowered her head in dismay. "I see."

"I appreciate the thought, Fluttershy," he said. "But it's not going to work out. Believe me, I wish it would because I've seen some weird applicants come in today. I even had to interview a minotaur today."

Fluttershy perked up at his words and smiled. "Really?" She asked. "Iron Will's in town? Oh, I'm going to have to find him and say hello! Come on, Ted, let's go. See you later, Hoss!"

"Good seeing you again, Fluttershy," he said, then he quickly added, "You guys can use the back door to leave, okay?"

"Okay then, bye bye!" she called back as she closed the door.

Hoss slammed his face down upon the tabletop. "Ugh," he groaned, "Derpy, my dad does not pay us enough to do this job."

"Speak for yourself, boss Hoss," Derpy said as she came back out from behind his chair, sat back in hers and rearranged the applications. "I get before and after-school care for Dinky Doo as long as I'm working here, plus two personal days a month."

"What?! He exclaimed as he picked his head back up. "I don't get any personal days. You get all that and you're leaving early today? How come I don't get any of that?"

Derpy shrugged and said, "Because you're the boss, boss Hoss?"

He sighed and said, "Whatever. Right now we've got bigger apples to buck. We've got three applicants - four counting the bear - and none of them come close to being qualified for the job. Let's compare notes."

"Sure thing, here you go!" Derpy said as they showed each other their notes.

Hoss looked over her paper and got a puzzled look on his face. "Um, Derpy," he said, "I don't see any notes here. All you have next to their names are circles and muffins."

"Those are bubbles," Derpy clarified. "I rated them on the bubbles-to-muffins ratio."

"What does that mean?"

"Simple! I marked a bubble when I learned something about them I didn't like and a muffin when I learned something good." A moment later she furrowed her brow and said, "Uh, or maybe the muffins meant the cons and the bubbles meant the pros..."

"Well, which is it?"

"No no, I got it now!" she exclaimed. "The muffins are definitely the good things because, well, muffins are delicious! And the bubbles mean the bad things because bubbles pop, and when bubbles pop it bums me out."

"All right. Now that we have your notes sorted out," Hoss said as he looked at the jumbled mess of circles and muffin doodles all over the page. He stared at them for a moment before he shook his head and said, "Forget it. Your notes mean nothing to me."

"Hey now, don't criticize the muffins-and-bubbles system!" she said as she swiped her notes back.

This is hopeless, Hoss said in another on-camera interview. If these applicants are the best Ponyville has to offer for the job, then we're in trouble. I might as well fill in for it myself because I honestly don't know what else to do.

As Hoss and Derpy were mulling over their situation, a white unicorn mare was pushing a large wheeled box through the shop's showroom. She sported sunglasses, a neon-blue mane and musical notes on her flank. The mare turned a corner around the display counters and pushed the box up to the counter where Cash greeted her.

"Hey, Vinyl," he said.

"Sup?" She greeted back as she brought the box to a stop.

Vinyl Scratch is one of my best experts, Cash said in an on-camera interview. She normally comes in when I ask her to help authenticate stuff like rare records or record players that the customers bring in. But today it looks like she's the customer, so I can only imagine why she's here.

"So what've we got here?" Cash asked.

"Check it out," Vinyl said as she tapped a button on top of the box. The front panel opened out to reveal an array of speakers, each with a glowing circular rim around them. An electric hum emanated from the device as she continued, "It's my very own, custom-built, one-of-a-kind bass cannon!"

"Nice!" Cash said, clearly impressed with her machine. "But why'd you bring it in? Are you selling it?"

"Unfortunately, I am," she said. "I'm building my Mark II bass cannon and I need the money to finish it. The components inside these beasts don't come cheap, you know?"

"I can believe it," he said as he looked over the device. "How much did you want to get for it?"

"Well, I put about a thousand bits into building this one," she said, "so I'd like to get at least that much out of it."

Cash walked around the box and looked at it from every angle. "You know what, Vinyl? I think I'd be interested in buying your cannon..."

"Bass cannon," she clarified.

"Right," Cash said. "I'd be interested in buying it if I knew how to sell it right. I mean, just about everypony loves listening to music, right? And that's essentially what your bass cannon does, it plays music."

"Oh no, my good sir," Vinyl said. "A record player plays music. This baby stages a sonic assault against the ears!"

"Well, be that as it may, I have to figure out how I can sell this to somepony who wants to play their music as loud and intense as you do. You know what I mean?"

"Well, of course," Vinyl said as she powered down the unit. She put her forelegs on top of the box and casually leaned against it. "That might be a little difficult seeing as how I'm the only DJ around these parts."

"So the idea of selling this to another DJ is out," Cash reasoned. "But this could maybe be sold to somepony else in the entertainment business. Like maybe a party planner or..."

"Did somepony say party?!" a pink pony exclaimed as she popped into view from behind the bass cannon. She tossed a hooffull of confetti in the air and blew a loud party favor. Her sudden appearance made Vinyl jump and drop her sunglasses.

"What they hay?!" Cash exclaimed. "Pinkie Pie, how long have you been there?"

"Oh, just long enough to know that my partner in partying here was selling her bass cannon so she can build herself a bigger one!" Pinkie nudged Vinyl playfully as she put her shades back on.

"Aw, Pink, you're such a trip," she said as she grinned at her friend.

Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! she said as she bounced happily for the camera during her interview. I'm the local party planner around here, except I don't plan the parties as much as I make the excitement happen! Oh, I know! You cameraponies should totally come to the party I'm throwing next week! Are you guys gonna be busy here then? Huh? Huh?

"I was in here making my layaway payment when I saw you guys and decided to say hello," she said. "Hello!"

"Well, I'm glad you're here, Pinkie," Cash said. "Maybe you can tell me if I should buy Vinyl's bass cannon here."

"Well, why wouldn't you, Cashie?" She asked. "I mean, everypony could use a sound system like this! How loud does this thing get, Scratch?"

"Well, I don't want to brag," Vinyl said, "but when I've got this thing fully charged up I can blow the roof off! Like, literally, I've blown somepony's roof off with this thing. Heck of a contracting bill, but it was totally worth it."

"Wow," Cash breathed. "That's pretty loud. Now when you said 'charged up' earlier, what did you mean?"

"This thing runs off of unicorn magic," Vinyl explained. "I have to focus my energy and feed this beast before I release it."

"Unicorn magic, huh?" Cash said. "Now that could be a bit of a issue when I sell it. If I buy this, I can't just sell it to just anypony. It has to be a unicorn or somepony with access to unicorn magic."

"So what're you saying, dude?" Vinyl asked.

"I'm saying I might not be able to buy it for nearly the price you offered because of the magic issue," Cash said.

"But its awesome power could be a huge selling point for you," Vinyl countered. "It could totally outweigh the minor inconvenience."

"Yeah, Cashie!" Pinkie agreed. "Have you been to one of Scratch's raves? She can keep the party going for hours and hours with this thing!"

"I honestly haven't," Cash said. "So right now I don't really know how well this thing performs."

"Well, there's only one way to find out," Pinkie said as she tapped a hoof against the box. "We've got to fire it up and test it out!"

"Are you serious, Pinkie?" Cash asked. "Like, right here in the store? I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Yeah, Pink," Vinyl agreed. "My bass cannon has some serious sonic power. Even on the low setting it could break all the glass stuff in here."

"Let's take it outside, then!" Pinkie suggested. "We should be able to test it out there without breaking anything in here, right?"

Cash rubbed his chin with a front hoof and said, "I suppose that could work. What do you think, Vinyl?"

She shrugged and replied, "I don't see why not."

"Awesome!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Let's do this!"

Awhile later the three of them were outside behind the shop. Vinyl had just used her magic to charge up the bass cannon, put some earplugs in her ears for safety and she gave a set to Cash.

"Here's some plugs for you, Pink," she offered.

"Oh, I'm good, thanks!" Pinkie pulled a helmet out of nowhere and slipped it on her head.

"So how powerful is this thing?" Cash asked as he put his earplugs in.

"See my mane?" Vinyl said, "It used to be curly like Pinkie's before I stood in front of this thing and played it full-blast!" everypony laughed before she continued, "But seriously, Cash, this beast can unleash some massive bass power when I turn it up to eleven!"

"Eleven? Is that even possible?" He asked.

"It is on my system!" Vinyl answered. "Now we'll just do a ten-second sound test. That way we won't freak out your customers, or start ourselves a block party outside your store!"

"But Cashie, you know what? You should have a party in your store!" Pinkie exclaimed. "We could have a whole antiques and money theme! I'll keep that in mind for later."

"I'll keep the volume on the low end, too," Vinyl remarked, "'cause we don't want to hurt those aged ears of yours, Cash, right?"

"What's that now?" Cash asked incredulously. "I'll let you both know that I was partying hard back when you girls were still fillies! Vinyl, crank it up as much as you want." As he said that his left earplug popped out and fell on the ground. He muttered, "Whoops, hold up..."

"Yeah!" Pinkie exclaimed as she planted herself in front of the bass cannon and put a front hoof in the air. She yelled, "Let's light this candle, Scratch!"

"Awwyeah!" Vinyl said as she brought her hoof down on the engage switch.

"What? No, wait!" Cash yelled as he tried to stop her, but he was too late. The DJ mashed the button, which opened the bass cannon array and let out a huge torrent of light and sound.

Inside the shop, Hoss and Derpy felt the rumble of Vinyl's bass cannon as it shook everything in the break room. Hoss steadied himself as he said, "What the hay is that?" He looked over at Derpy as if he was expecting her to give an explenation.

Instead she replied, "Well, don't look at me, boss Hoss! I'm not doing anything!"

Ten seconds later, it was all over. Outside the shop, the light from the cannon faded away as Vinyl pressed some buttons on the control panel and closed the array. Cash, still with only one earplug in, just stared at Vinyl for a moment.

Finally, he said, "So, we know how well it works now. I just wished you would have waited until I had both earplugs in!"

"Whoa, sorry dude," Vinyl said as she popped hers out. "You okay?"

"I think so, at least in my right ear," Cash said. "My left ear's ringing like crazy, though. Hey Pinkie, are you..."

His voice trailed off as he saw the pink pony in front of the bass cannon. Her eyes were popped wide open and her clenched teeth were showing. The helmet she had wasn't on her head anymore, and her mane was pulled straight back like Vinyl's. She blinked once, twice, then shook her head about. Her mane recoiled back into shape.

"That...was...awesome! she yelled excitedly. "You've got real power in that bass cannon of yours, Vinyl! I've never heard anything louder than that! Hey, have you guys seen my helmet?!"

"Um, Pink?" Vinyl asked. "Are you okay?"

"What? Scratch, I can't hear you over all that ringing!" she kept yelling, "Can you speak up?! Can anypony else hear that ringing?!"

"Will she be okay?" Cash asked Vinyl.

"Aw, sure," Vinyl replied. "I can remember the first time my ears rang like that. Best day ever."

"Hey, Pinkie!" Cash said loudly. "Can you hear me?!"

Pinkie stared at Cash for a moment before she answered, "Seriously, can somepony turn off the ringing?! Is it coming from the bass cannon, Scratch?! Because if it is, I think it's broken!"

Cash turned to Vinyl and said, "I'll be right back." He turned to go into the shop, but before he did he stopped and stared at the windows. The force of the bass cannon had blown out every one of them. "Aw, great," he muttered.

"Whoops!" Vinyl said as she saw the windows. "I can spot you for those, Cash, sorry."

"Don't worry about it," he told her, "I have a tab going at the glassmaker's. Anyhow, I'll be back."

He went into the store and returned with a quill and pad of paper. He wrote on the paper, Pinkie, the bass cannon made you go deaf but Vinyl says you'll be okay. Can you tell me how much it's worth and if I should buy it from her?

Cash showed Pinkie the note, which she read and replied, "Oh, that makes sense now! Okay, so obviously the bass cannon's powerful and everything, which is good for ponies who like to play it loud! But the fact that it runs on unicorn magic really limits your market! I personally wouldn't pay more that five hundred bits for it because I'd need to be a unicorn to power it! Makes sense, right?!

Cash wrote on another sheet of paper, Yes, that does make sense. Thanks for helping us with this. Sit tight and I'll help you get back to Sugarcube Corner. He handed her the note.

Pinkie read it and said, "Oh, don't worry about it, Cashie! I can get back just fine! I'll just take a personal day and sleep this off!" she looked at Vinyl and said, "Hey, Vinyl, I gotta go! Thanks for the demo!"

Vinyl waved goodbye as Pinkie trotted off. She looked at Cash and said, "Well, I'm pretty sure you won't give me five hundred for it like Pinkie said, right?"

Cash shook his head. "Nope. I was thinking I'd offer you two-fifty."

Vinyl sighed. "See now, that's not gonna work for me," she said. After pausing to think about for a moment, she continued, "You know what? Maybe I don't need the money for it."

"You don't think so?" Cash asked.

"Nah, I got another idea," she said as she tapped the box with a hoof. "This baby's still got lots of oomph in it. Maybe I'll take it and what I'm building right now and put them together! Awwyeah, a double-stack bass cannon! Best idea ever!"

Cash shrugged and said, "Alright, then. Sorry we couldn't do business today." They both shook hooves as he continued, "Thanks for bringing it in, and for killing half of my hearing, I guess."

"Anytime, Cash!" Vinyl said as she got behind the bass cannon and started pushing it away. "Take 'er easy!"

Like I said, Vinyl's a great expert, Cash said in an on-camera interview. But if she brings in another one of her bass cannons to sell, then I'm going to have to politely refuse the sale on behalf of my ears. In any case, it was just too magic-specific for me to sell in the store. Hey, I wonder of the bass cannon woke my dad up from his nap...

Cash walked back into the store. As he did, Big Hoss approached him and said, "Hey, I've been looking for you."

"Huh?" Cash asked as he turned his right ear toward Hoss.

"I said I was looking for you," he repeated. "You okay, Pops?"

"Oh, you were looking for me," Cash said. "Yeah, I'm okay, just kinda deaf in my left ear right now. Vinyl Scratch was here earlier and we had a bit of a mishap with the bass cannon she brought in."

"That's what that was?" Hoss asked. "It nearly brought the shop crashing down!"

"Did it wake up your grandpa?"

"Nah, he's still snoring away back there."

"Figures," Cash said. "So how'd the interviews go? Who's our new security guard?"

"At this rate," Hoss replied, "I'll be the new security guard. I can't hire anyone who came in today."

"What?" Cash asked, surprised. "Why not?"

"Because none of them are qualified!" Hoss exclaimed. "Did you even check out their applications first?"

"Of course I did, son," Cash defended. "They all looked like good candidates to me."

"Yeah, on paper!" Hoss shot back. "You know who I had to deal with today? A muscle-head, a minotaur and a 'stealth pegasus' who seemed more concerned with hitting on Derpy than actually working here. None of them even came close to what we need in a security guard."

"Wait, didn't I give you four applications?"

"Oh, don't even get me started on the bear!" Hoss exclaimed.

"Bear? What bear?

"Don't yank my crank, Dad," he said. "Did you let Fluttershy bring that bear of hers into the shop? Was that one some kind of a joke?"

"I didn't see any bear, I must've been in the back room then," Cash said as he smiled a little. "But if that was a joke, it sounded pretty funny to me."

"Oh, come on, Dad!" Hoss became exasperated. "We're trying to fill a job position here! We've got to..."

"Excuse me!" a raised voice caught the attention of the two pawnbrokers, who stopped their conversation to look where it came from.

A large brown earth stallion with a black mane stood in front of a smaller orange earth stallion and blocked his way out of the store. "Excuse me," the brown pony repeated, "but I saw what you did back."

"Saw what?" The orange pony asked.

"The chisel you slipped into your saddlebag with the hammer you bought," Brown said. "Last time I checked the store didn't have a buy-hammer-get-chisel promotion. Or a one-hoof discount."

"You didn't see anything," Orange countered. "Besides, why're you even calling me out? You don't work here."

"You wanna know why?" Brown challenged, "We can talk about it outside."

Cash then walked up to the two of them and asked, "Do we have a problem here?"

Brown looked at Cash and said, "Sir, this customer was about to walk out of here with a tool he didn't pay for."

"Is that right?" Cash asked Brown before he looked at Orange and requested, "Would you mind taking off your bag for a moment?"

Reluctantly, Orange slipped his saddlebag off. Cash picked it up with his front hooves, opened the flaps and began shaking it out. A hammer fell out along with a couple of books and sheets of paper.

"I paid for that hammer," he said.

A second later a chisel with a price tag still attached also fell out.

"That too?" Cash asked.

"Uh..." Orange stammered, "Well..."

Cash tossed his bag back at him. He scooped up the chisel and gave it to Hoss, who walked away with it. Cash told Orange, "Get out of my shop. I don't want to see you in here again, got me?"

Orange nodded as he hastily scooped up his stuff, slipped his bag on again and trotted quickly out of the shop. Cash looked at the brown pony and said, "Thanks for speaking up back there."

"No problem," he replied.

"Weren't you in here earlier?" Cash asked. "Right before Trixie showed up?"

"Yeah, that was me," he said. "I wanted to ask you about the security guard position. Is it still available?"

"Sure is," Cash said. "What's your name?"

"Antonio Tufftail," he replied. "Everypony calls me Tony."

"I'm Cash," he said as they shook hooves. "When can you start?"

"When can I start?" Tony repeated. "You mean, start working here? Don't you need to interview me first or something?"

"Well, let's just consider that incident you handled earlier your interview," Cash said. "You seem pretty qualified for the job, so it's yours if you want it."

Tony nodded and said, "Alright! I can start tomorrow."

"Good deal, then," Cash said as Big Hoss walked back up to them. He motioned to Hoss and said, "This is my son, Big Hoss. He'll show you the ropes tomorrow."

"What?" Hoss asked, confused. "What ropes? What're you talking about?"

"Hoss, this is Tony," Cash said. "He's our new security pony. You'll be training him up tomorrow."

"Uh, okay," Hoss said, unsure of what just happened. He shook Tony's hoof and said, "Welcome to the team, I guess."

"Thanks," Tony replied. "I'll be here first thing tomorrow. Well, I gotta get going. See you all later."

"See you tomorrow," Cash called after Tony as he left. He looked at Hoss and said, "Now that's how you hire somepony."

"Dad, what just happened?" Hoss was dumbfounded. "I leave for a minute to put a chisel away and you hire somepony just like that?"

"Just like that," Cash repeated. "See, it isn't that hard."

"But Dad, I...I spent the whole day...and you just," he tried to get the words out, but couldn't. He sighed. "Never mind. I'm just glad we've got that taken care of."

"Me too, son," Cash said as they started walking toward the back office.

As Hoss walked with him, he noticed he was on his father's right side. "Hey Dad," he said, "I noticed when I put that chisel back that our tool inventory is looking kind of disorganized. I should probably go and straighten it up."

"Okay, go ahead," Cash replied.

Hoss then cantered behind him, moved over to his left side and continued speaking, "Oh, and while I'm at it, I should probably go ahead and take the rest of the day off. Don't you think?"

"Huh?" Cash said. "Uh, sure. Like I said, go on."

"Thanks, Dad!" he said as he quickly galloped out the door.

Episode 6: Full Steam Ahead

I'm Cash Money, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my sire, Old Money; and my colt, Big Hoss.

Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned in all my years in Ponyville, is that you never know WHAT is going to trot through that door.

This is Ponyville Pawn Stars.

The pawnbrokers at the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop were just getting ready to start their morning off when they heard a knock at the front door. Cash heard it and decided that since it was just a couple minutes to the hour he would go ahead and have Tony the security pony unlock the front door. He sent Tony to the front of the store, who used one of the keys he kept on a loop around his neck to open the door.

As he opened the door he saw the orange mare wearing her trademark Stetson patiently waiting to enter. "Mornin' Tony!" she greeted him.

"Good morning, Applejack," he returned.

"I appreciate ya openin' up shop a little early on my account," Applejack said. "Is Cash here? I need ta talk ta him."

"No prob," Tony answered. "He should be in the back office."

"Great!" she said as she entered. "Thanks, Tony."

Applejack trotted through the empty shop and went straight back to the counter where Cash stood looking over some paperwork. As she approached, Cash looked up and greeted her, "Hey AJ, good morning."

"Howdy, Cash," she returned as she stopped at the counter.

Cash put the paperwork aside and asked the mare, "So what brings you in this early?"

"Ah was wonderin' if ya could do me a favor..." She said as she put a hoof under her hat to pull something out.

"I do a lot of favors, AJ," he replied. "What's up?"

She set down the object, which turned out to be a rolled sheet of paper. She unrolled it and smoothed it out with her hoof, then said, "First off, tell me ya know a little somethin' 'bout these things."

Cash looked at the paper, upon which was a picture of a steam mechanism as well as a written description. After he reading it over, he replied, "Ah, a steam tractor. Sounds like something you and your folks could use on the farm. Yeah, I know some stuff about steam machines."

"It's exactly what mah folks an' Ah could use on the farm," Applejack said as she rolled up the paper and slipped it back under her hat. "Mah cousin Braeburn out on Appaloosa sent me a message the other day about one of these here steam tractors. There's a coupla mechanic-type ponies who have one, an' they're bringin' it with 'em on a train headin' for Ponyville today. Word is they're lookin' ta sell it ta somepony for the right price..."

"Let me guess," Cash asked, "you want to be that somepony?"

"Eeyup," she replied. "Big Mac an' I thought we could really use the steam power ta get the farmwork done a whole lot quicker. We won't hafta bust our humps nearly as hard durin' harvest season if we had one."

"You got that right," Cash said. "So where do I come in on this?"

"Well, the thing is, we've got some bits saved up for it," Applejack explained, "but if we hope ta git our hooves on the tractor we're gonna have ta try an' talk 'em down from their askin' price..."

"Ah, I see where this is going," the pawnbroker said. "You need me to help you seal the deal, right?"

"Well, Big Mac says mah arbitratin' skills are kinda, well..."

"Nonexistent?"

"Pretty much," Applejack admitted.

Here at my shop, we buy and sell a lot of stuff on our own, Cash said in an on-camera interview. But we also act as brokers for other ponies looking to get their hooves on that high-value item they really, really want. Most of them are like AJ here, looking to invest in something that will help their business. We basicially negotiate and make the sale for them, then we charge interest for our services. I'm really excited that she wants me to buy a steam tractor for her. Steam machines are amazing from what I've read about them, and this will be the first time I'll actually get to lay my hooves on one.

"Listen, Cash," she continued, "if ya could help us out an' buy us the tractor, we can pay ya back plus five percent o' the price."

"Five? I was thinking of more like fifteen."

"Aw, come on, Cash!" Applejack pled. "Don't make me beg! Ya know Ah can't argue with ya!"

"Then don't beg," Cash said. "There's your first lesson in making the sale. Don't beg, because if you've given up if you do. How about throwing me another percentage?"

She thought for a moment and said, "How 'bout seven?"

"Twelve," he countered.

"Nine!"

"Eleven."

"Ten!"

"All right, then, ten it is," Cash said. "Good job, you're catching on already."

"Thanks," Applejeck said. "But Ah'll still need ya to help me buy the tractor. The train should be here in a coupla hours, can ya come with me ta wait for it?"

"Sure thing, AJ," Cash said. "Just let me let the help know. I'll be with you in just a few minutes."

"Alrighty! Ah'll be waitin' for ya outside."

Cash left the counter and trotted into the back office, where Old Money, Big Hoss and Derpy were all sitting and enjoying a breakfast of coffee and donuts. "Alright guys, listen up," he said, getting their attention. "I've got to go to the train station and..."

"Wait a second," Hoss said, cutting him short. "You're leaving town? Will you take Gramps with you? That means I get the shop, right?"

"Whoohoo!" Derpy cheered as she pumped a front hoof up in the air. "Boss Hoss is the new boss!"

"Shut up, Derpy," Old Money grumbled. "Long as I'm breathin', I'm the boss 'round here. Now get to work."

"Aww," the gray mare said dejectedly as she got up and walked toward the back storeroom.

"Hey thunderheads, shut up and listen!" Cash exclaimed. "Applejack wants me to try and purchase a steam tractor for her today. It's coming in on a train and should be here in a few hours. We're going out there now to wait on it."

"You're chargin' her ten percent commission, right?" Old Money asked.

"Yeah, Pop, of course."

"Attaboy, son." The old pony then leaned back in his chair, opened one of his desk drawers and took out his playing cards.

Cash looked at Big Hoss and said, "Now I'll probably be out for awhile doing this, so I want you to hold down the fort while I do. Buy low and sell big, get at least one of our audits done and please, please keep Derpy out of trouble, will you?"

Hoss shrugged and said, "Can't promise you anything, Pops."

His sire sighed and repeated, "Well, will you try and keep her out of trouble?"

Just then Derpy walked through the office and between the two of them. She was carrying a variety of objects across her back, including a few books, jewelry, a flower pot, an abacus and a camera. Upon her head she balanced another couple of books and a muffin on top. "Doot de doot de doo!" she sang cheerily as she took her pile out of the office.

Cash and Hoss could only stare at her until she left. Then as they looked at each other again, Hoss shook his head and repeated, "Can't promise you anything, Pops."

"Fine, whatever," Cash groaned. "Just don't let the shop fall apart while I'm gone. Now I gotta get going, Applejack's waiting. See you all later."

"See you, Pops," Hoss called as his father left the office. "Good luck."

As the morning went on, Big Hoss went about checking the merchandise and helping customers. He was minding one of the counters when a tiny purple and green-scaled dragon walked into the shop. He was holding a red feather in one set of his claws. The little dragon looked around, saw Hoss and walked up to his counter. "Hey, Big Hoss!" he greeted.

"Spike, my main dragon," Hoss returned as he put up a front hoof over the counter. Spike made a fist in his free set of claws and bumped Hoss's hoof. "What can I do for you today, tough guy?"

"Well, if you're interested, I've got a quill that I want to sell you," the dragon offered.

Hoss raised one of his eyebrows. "A quill, seriously?" he asked. "Dude, I just ordered like, fifty of them for the shop. I think I'm good."

"But do you have one of these?" Spike asked as he showed Hoss the red feather he was carrying. As he turned it over in his claws it shimmered and even appeared to glow a little.

Hoss whistled and said, "Now that you mention it, no. I don't have a phoenix-feather quill. How did you get this?"

Spike chuckled and replied, "Well, I didn't get it from a phoenix, if that's what you're asking! And I certainly didn't get it from a phoenix that I've been secretly taking care of in Twilight's library, in case you were wondering!" he smiled nervously.

Hoss just stared at him for a moment, then muttered under his breath, "I've really got to stop by that place one of these days."

For most ponies, quills are common everyday tools, Big Hoss said in an on-camera interview. But the rarer ones are often collected, usually by writers or bird lovers. And the phoenix-feather quills are definitely sought after by these collectors. Ponies will pay good money for one of these magical writing utensils. And here's the kicker: you can't even use them on paper!

"Let me ask you this, Spike," Hoss said. "What do you know about these kinds of quills?"

"I've read a little about them in Twilight's library," Spike answered. "They're imbued with the magic of the phoenix itself, but as far as what the scope of that magic includes, I honestly don't know."

"Well, one thing I can tell you," Hoss said as he pointed to the quill with a hoof, "is that you can't use these quills with ink. Do you know why?"

"Because, um, it'll mess up the magic?" Spike guessed.

"Nope, doesn't have anything to do with the magic," the pawnbroker explained. "It's that you physically can't use ink with these quills because they don't write with ink. They write with fire."

"Wow, seriously?" Spike asked.

"Yep. You try to put this in ink and it'll all boil off before you could write anything with it," Hoss said. "Not to mention that if you try using this on a sheet of regular paper, it'll go up in flames. These quills are used to magically burn messages into any hard surface: wood, stone, even precious metals. Here, try writing a little something on this wooden counter."

"Really?" The dragon asked as he picked up the quill, looked at Hoss and inquired again, "You sure?"

"Yeah, go ahead," Hoss said. "I've never actually seen it done, so give it a whirl."

"Okay!" he said enthusiastically as he put the tip down against the wood and started writing. As he wrote the quill crackled and smoked, and left hehind charred and smoking words upon the case. When he finished, Hoss leaned over and read the upside-down words Spike wrote.

"What the..." Hoss said as he read the words aloud, "'Dear Princess Celestia?'"

"Whoops!" Spike exclaimed as he set down the quill and said, "Sorry, force of habit."

"Eh, no big, I can probably sand that off later," Hoss said. "So how much do you want for it?"

"Enough to get somepony a nice gift for her...I mean, their birthday," Spike answered. "Like maybe five hundred bits?"

"Oh, really?" The pawnbroker asked with a hint of sarcasm. "If by somepony you mean that certain unicorn mare you've been fawning over ever since you first saw her in her boutique?"

"Who, Rarity? No way!" he replied defensively. After another moment he said, "Maybe."

"Well, in that case, five hundred would maybe cover a gift in Rarity's taste," Hoss reasoned. "Then again, five hundred would maybe not be what I can offer you for the quill. Just give me a minute to do a little research here..."

Hoss looked behind the counter as if he were searching for something. He soon had a book in his front hooves, which he put on the counter and opened. He flipped through the pages with a hoof as he searched through it.

"What's that?" Spike asked.

"This year's quill market value guide," Hoss answered. "Quills are priced according to their length, their bird of origin and the relative market demand. Let's see here...parakeet, no...peacock, no...here we go, phoenix! According to the book, it looks like your quill is valued at three hundred seventy-five bits."

"Really?" Spike asked. "That's a little low, but I suppose I could get something decent for that..."

"Which means that I can offer you about three twenty-five," Hoss cut him off as he shut the book and put it away.

"What?! That's it?!" Spike exclaimed and spit out a long green flame.

Hoss deftly ducked under it, then he smoothed over his mane with a hoof to make sure it didn't get singed. "Sorry, dude," Hoss said and shrugged. "I've got to be able to sell it and make a little money. That's just how it works."

"Can't you go higher than that?" The little dragon asked. "Like maybe to three-fifty?"

"I can do three thirty-five," the pawnbroker responded. "Can't go no more."

Dejected, Spike lowered his head, sighed and said, "Well, that stinks. How am I supposed to find a nice gift for Rar...I mean, my friend with that?"

"I dunno, big guy. I wish I could help you out," Hoss said. He glanced over at another part of the shop and saw something that caught his attention for a second. He looked back at Spike and said, "Hey, I've got an idea. How would you feel about a trade?"

Spike looked back up at Big Hoss and asked curiously, "What kind of a trade?"

"Follow me," he said. The two of them walked down a row of counters to the jewelry section, where they stopped and Hoss continued, "I'm just spitballin' here, but your friend likes jewelry, right?"

"Does Princess Celestia live in Canterlot?" Spike asked sarcastically.

Hoss pointed with a hoof to a set of sapphire earrings inside a glass case and offered, "Well, how about this: your give me your quill and I'll give you these earrings. The stones are kind of small, but they're very clear and pair very well with the silver. Out in the light they'll look like tiny fireworks. Plus, you don't have to go searching all over town on a budget for your gift. One stop shopping right here, dude."

"Hmm," Spike thought aloud as he looked over the earrings. "They're definitely the kind of thing she likes, and they're really sparkly..."

"I'll even sweeten the deal - literally, in your case - with this," Hoss said as he reached inside the case and pulled out a lumpy blue-green stone which he held on the end of a hoof in front of the dragon. "One raw aquamarine, a little something for you to snack on for your trouble."

"Oooh!" Spike gazed at the rock and drooled a little. "Now that you mention it, I am feeling rather famished..."

"So what do you think, my friend?" Hoss asked as he set the stone down on the counter. "Your quill for the earrings and the snack. Have we got a trade?"

"We've got a trade!" Spike answered. He shook Hoss's hoof and added, "You had me at aquamarine!"

"Copacetic," Hoss replied. "Let's go write this up."

A few moments later Spike had the gift-wrapped earrings in one claw and the aquamarine in the other, which he happily munched on as he was leaving. "Thanks again, Hoss!" he said through a mouthful of pebbles.

"You bet," Hoss called back. "Take it easy, tough guy."

Sometimes if you can't agree on a price for something, a trade can be a good compromise, Big Hoss said in an on-camera interview. As it turns out, those earrings alone weren't worth nearly as much as what I was willing to pay Spike for his quill, but putting them and the stone together as a trade sold him on the idea. Now I've freed up some space in the jewelry display and got a cool quill to sell. It's a win-win. Now I've just got to sand down those words before my dad thinks I've vandalized our own display case...

Meanwhile at the train station, Cash Money and Applejack waited at the platform for their train to arrive. Cash stood still and tapped a front hoof while Applejack paced up and down the length of the platform.

"Are ya sure we're at the right place, Cash?" She asked as she continued to pace. "Maybe we're at the wrong platform, or maybe we missed the train. Do ya think we missed the train?!"

"Relax, AJ, we're fine," Cash assured her. "This is Ponyville's only train station and there's only one platform. It's probably running late."

"Ah sure wish it would get here already!" she exclaimed and stomped her hoof. "All the waitin's killin' me!"

"Attention in the station," a loudspeaker blared. "The eleven o'clock train from Appaloosa..."

"Finally!" the orange mare breathed. "It's about time!"

"...will be delayed another ninety minutes due to unforseen circumstances," the announcement finished.

"Aw, come on!" Applejack yelled and threw her hat down.

"Once again, the eleven o'clock train from Appaloosa will be delayed another ninety minutes," the loudspeaker repeated. "That is all."

"Yah, yah, we heard ya the first time!" she yelled in the direction of the announcement as she dusted off her hat and put it back on.

"AJ, chill out," Cash said again. "It'll get here when it gets here. No sense in getting all worked up over a train running late."

"Easy for you ta say!" Applejack said. "This is mah livelihood we're talkin' 'bout! That tractor could make or break the Apple family. Ah don't see how you ain't worried, 'cause ya could be makin' some big money today."

"That's true, I could be," Cash reasoned. "But the way I see it, whether or not this train comes in or we make the sale, I've got a great business in town that's making me some money right now."

"Really, Cash?" she asked. "'Cause Ah got three words for ya: Derpy...Hooves...unsupervised."

Cash was silent for a moment. Then he started tapping his hoof against the floor. A few seconds later both he and Applejack were pacing the platform again. "Aw, crabapples," he muttered to himself. "When's that buckin' train going to hurry up and get here?"

Back in the shop, Old Money had decided to put down his cards and make an appearance at the counters. He shuffled about from counter to counter, asking other ponies if they needed any assistance and lending a hoof to the other brokers. A short while later an old donkey with a tall blonde hairdo wearing dusty saddlebags shuffled into the shop. He saw Old Money standing behind one of the counters and walked up to him.

"Hey, old-timer," he greeted.

"Hey yourself, you old geezer," the pawnbroker responded.

The name's Cranky, Cranky Doodle Donkey, he introduced himself during an on-camera interview. I'm kind of the resident picker in Ponyville. I've been all over Equestria rummagin' through yard sales and backwoods ponies properties, lookin' for those rare and unusual relics most ponies have forgotten about. I do collect quite a bit for myself and from time to time I've got to do some cleanin' house. Sometimes I'll trade with or sell to other collectors, and occasionally - when I'm in as good of a mood as I am now - I'll bring something for my friend Old Money to see.

Cranky and I have quite a bit in common, Old Money said in his on-camera interview. We're both old, crusty and grumpy to start with, but we've also got the same interest in antiques. I like it when he brings something in because I know it'll be something I'll want to buy either for the shop or for myself.

"What've you got for me today, Cranky?" Old Money asked.

"Oh, just a little knickknack that's been takin' up space on my my mantle," he answered. "You know, the usual."

"Cut the small talk, you dusty mule," the pawnbroker replied. "That's what you say about everything you bring in."

"Alright, alright, keep yer teeth in already," Cranky said as he rummaged through his saddlebags. He pulled out a small and gray metal object and set it down on the counter. "Have a gander at this little beauty."

"What, this tin toy?" Old Money asked incredulously. "I've got a whole mess of 'em over in the next case. I'll give ya a bit for it."

"Oh, Ah don't think so," the mule responded. "Ya better take a closer look at this. Ya might wanna get yer glasses and checkbook before ya do, though."

The gray-haired colt looked closer at the toy and grumbled, "Get my glasses, he says. Get my checkbook, he says. What does he think..." Suddenly, he stopped his vocal train of thought. Then he leaned back and said, "Ya know, Cranky, I don't think we should play cards no more. Because this right here looks like yer ace in the hole."

"Ya got that right," Cranky said proudly. "Ah've been holding onto it for just the right time."

"How did ya find the Colt Brothers Circus seal figure?" Old Money asked.

"Picker's secret, mah friend," the donkey answered. "Picker's secret."

The Colt Brothers circus was one of the biggest shows in Equestria way back in the day, Old Money explained in an on-camera interview. I remember seeing 'em when I was a very young colt. It was an all-earth pony troupe, so no pegasi flyin' on the trapeze or unicorns tamin' the lions. One year, and for just one year, they made a series of twelve pewter figurines they included as prizes with the caramel popcorn they sold at the shows. Over the years I've collected all but one of the figures, and Cranky's got it right in front of me. If I can get this from him, then I can sell the figures as a complete set for way more than what I'm asking individually. Cranky's my friend, but never before have I so much wanted to knock a friend's lights out and just take this thing for myself.

"You know what you got here, right?" Old Money asked.

"The one thing you don't got?" Cranky returned.

"That's exactly what you got," the old pony said. "I bet you've walked by my case of Colt Brothers circus figures dozens of times. I bet you've seen that I got the ringmaster, the lion and lion tamer, the tightrope walker and the eight other pieces I've got but not the performing seal. Now I don't know how a dusty old mule like you was able to find that piece when it's dang near as old as we are, but I'm sure you've got some kind of plan for selling it to me."

"Well, maybe I do and maybe I don't," Cranky said. "Maybe I'm in the right place at the right time with the right item. Maybe I want to sell this prized posession of mine to get some bits to buy a little somethin' for my ladyfriend. Or maybe I'm puttin' this thing in front of you just to watch you squirm."

"All right, you dusty mule, stop toyin' with me," Old Money said with a little exaspiration. "Why don't you just tell me how much you think you'll get for this from me?"

"Oh, I was thinkin' around the tune of...two thousand."

"What?!" Old Money yelled, so loudly he caught the attention of a couple other ponies standing nearby. "You must be off your rocker if you expect to get that much! That's what I'll be selling the whole set for."

"Oh, is that right?" Cranky asked sarcastically. "Well, I guess the price on this will depend on how badly you want it."

I mentioned before that we have a lot in common, Old Money said in another on-camera interview, and that also includes our interest in money. He and I both know what this is worth, and that's gonna make this deal really difficult. As if any of my deals with Cranky are ever easy...

"Look," the old gray colt said, "you and I both know what this is worth. Heck, for all I know you've been holding onto this for months, just waiting for the right time to hit pay dirt. Why don't we just save each other the trouble of bargaining over this? Let me give you one hundred bits for it."

"Are you kidding?" Cranky asked incredulously. "Those other figures are selling for one-fifty apiece, and I know that once you get this one you'll be jacking up your prices on the entire set. I'll tell you what: I'll sell this one to you for just five hundred bits. No messin' around this time."

"I don't think so," Old Money returned. "I'll go two hundred on it."

"If you're willing to go two hundred, then you'll probably go four hundred."

"I'll go two-fifty and not a single bit more," Old Money said firmly. "Take it and I won't knock your block off."

Cranky stood silently for a moment, as if he were contemplating whether or not the continued bargaining was worth a hoof to the face. Then he said, "All right, fine. Two-fifty it is."

The two shook hooves. "Pleasure doing business with you," the pawnbroker said. "You and the other old folks up for a game of cards tonight?"

"Nine o'clock at my place, old-timer," the mule replied. "You bringing the hard cider?"

"Well, since you're selling me this fine collector's item I suppose I could swing by Sweet Apple Acres and sweet talk Granny Smith into selling me a little of her hooch," Old Money said. "One of these days you better start ponying up the bits for it."

"Sure thing," Cranky said, "as soon as you start winning a few games."

"All right, wise guy, let's go write this up already before I toss ya outta here."

Getting a sale out of Cranky always pays off for me in the end, Old Money said in another on-camera interview. Now some big-shot collecter outta Canterlot or someplace will see this complete collection and pay top-bit for it. My card game might not be as good as my selling game, but with the kind of business pickers like Cranky bring in for me I can always afford to lose a little money playing cards.

Meanwhile, on the other side of Ponyville, a whistle blew as the Appaloosa train finally thundered into the Ponyville station. Applejack and Cash waited anxiously as the long locomotive slowed itself to a halt and let off hissing steam.

So finally, finally, the train from Appaloosa arrives, Cash said in an on-camera interview set at the train station. AJ and I have been on pins and needles for hours now waiting for it to show up. All we've got to do now is find those mechanics and get a look at their tractor, which will hopefully be a good investment for both me and AJ. If it's worth our time, then I could be making some big money today.

"Do ya see 'em, Cash?" Applejack asked as she searched the faces of the ponies leaving the cars. "'Cause ta be honest, Ah don't know what these fellas look like. Ya think we should start askin' some of these ponies if they've seen 'em?"

Cash nudged her with a front hoof then and pointed. "I think we should start with those two," he said, motioning toward two ponies wearing grease-stained blue coveralls. One of them, a tall and heavyset orange colt with a brown mane, was being yelled at by a much smaller green colt with a black mane.

"Doggone it, Cog!" the green one shouted as he stomped his front hoof. "Your stunt at the last stop set us back way too long! At this rate it'll be after dark when we get to Canterlot!"

"I apologize once again, Sprocket, my fellow technician," the one called Cog replied, "but I was merely inspecting the integrity of the tie-downs upon our machinery."

"But while the train was moving?!" The one called Sprocket yelled again. "You're lucky the conducter saw you crawlin' all over our tractor when he did and pulled the e-brake before you got yourself killed! You should have seen the dirty looks on the passengers' faces when they saw that the thunderhead who set back their travel plans was with me!"

"Well, I only figured that..."

"Uh, excuse me, y'all," Applejack politely interrupted as she and Cash walked up to them, "but Ah think Ah overheard y'all talkin' about a tractor just now. Would ya happen ta be the mechanics sellin' the steam tractor we've heard 'bout?"

Spocket turned his attention toward her and answered in a much friendlier tone, "Well, young lady, as a matter of fact we are. Why might you be asking?"

"Well, hot dog!" she exclaimed. "We've been waitin' all day for ya ta get here! Ah'd like to see if Ah can buy it offa ya!"

The green colt smiled, looked at his friend and said, "Well, Cog, it looks like we might not need to head on to Canterlot after all. That is, as long as their money's good."

"Oh, our money's good," Cash piped up, "as long as the tractor's good."

"You'll see here in a minute," Sprocket answered. "I'm Sprocket, by the way. The big one with me here is Cog."

"A pleasure to make your acquaintence on this fine afternoon," Cog said.

"Say what now?" Applejack asked.

"Forgive my friend here," Sprocket explained. "I got him a word-of-the-day calender a few months back and he went through the whole thing in a week. Now he spouts off all these big words I still don't think he knows the full meaning of. A little annoying, but he's still a good mechanic."

"Well, Ah'm Applejack, and this is Cash Money, mah broker," she introduced themselves.

"Cash Money, huh?" Sprocket asked. "Well, with a name like that, you must be a big spender."

"Oh, you'll see," Cash answered. "Can we see the tractor now?"

"Sure thing, follow us," Sprocket said as they all walked toward the rear of the train. After they passed several passenger cars, they came upon a flatbed car with a large, four-wheeled machine tied down upon it. "There she is. Feel free to look her over and ask us any questions y'all might have for us."

Cash and Applejack walked around and inspected the tractor, which sort of resembled a stripped-down, snub-nosed locomotive. The wheels were wooden with iron rims and rivits around it. Atop its smaller front wheels was a large steel boiler with a slender circular chimney at the front of it. On the side of the tractor, a set of slide-out steps lead up to the driver's seat, which was situated between the furnace in the front and a small coal and wood bin in the back. A small steering wheel and a few brass levers protruded up from the floor in the cab, which allowed just enough space for a medium-sized pony to sit and work the controls.

As they walked around the tractor out of Sprocket and Cog's sight, Cash asked Applejack, "Well, AJ, what do you think?"

"Ah think Ah like what Ah'm seein' here," she answered. "It looks pretty darn solid to me, and it'll be perfect for gettin' jobs done on Sweet Apple Acres. As long as ya think she's sound, Ah want her."

"Yeah, I can't see any problems with it as far as I can tell," Cash said. "I think you should go for it. How much money do you have to play around with?"

"About eight thousand."

"Okay," the pawnbroker said as he paused to do a little mental math. "That means if you figure in my broker's fee, the most you can expect to offer for it today is about seven thousand. That's going to be a little tough, AJ, but I'll work 'em and see how low I can get their price down."

"All right," Applejack said as they walked back around into the mechanics' view.

"Well," Sprocket asked them, "what do y'all think of her?"

"I'm seeing a few dings and stratches on the boiler and the wheels here," Cash remarked. "How long has this tractor been used?"

"It's been gently used the last few years by our Appaloosa clients who rented it for work on their fields," Cog said. "It's hardly seen any use this last year, but Sprocket and I have conducted preventative maintenance on it for as long as we've had it."

"Uh huh," Cash muttered as he continued looking it over. "So why are you guys selling it?"

"Nopony's needed it, plain and simple," Sprocket answered. "The apple orchards are taking up all the fertile land in those parts, and that ain't much. Now the only dirt left to plow is full of rocks, which is way to hard on this machine. The farmers there are managing the land just fine without it, so every month we hold onto this thing we're losing money just maintaining it. We'd like to hopefully sell it and use the profits to set up a new shop someplace."

"I see," Cash said as he finished looking over the tractor and turned his attention back to the mechanics. "So how much do you want for it?"

"We believe ten thousand bits is a sufficient sum for the machinery," Cog answered.

Cash looked at them with one lifted eyebrow and responded, "Seriously? Because what I'm looking at here is only worth about five-and-a-half."

"Five-and-a-half?" Sprocket returned in a raised voice. "Sir, I'll remind you that in spite of its age, this tractor has been expertly maintained by two of the best mechanics in all Equestria. What you're seeing is a real cream puff of a machine. We've babied this thing for years."

"Guys, I hear what you're saying," Cash reasoned, "but let's face it: what you're trying to sell me here is a used tractor."

"That may be correct," Cog said. "However, I believe what you fail to realize is that following the point of sale my associate and I will become the sole proprietors of the steam-driven repair and replacement venture in this region."

"Pardon?" Applejack asked quizzically.

"Oh for crying out loud, Cog, cut it out!" Sprocket yelled. He looked at the orange mare and clarified, "He means we'll be the one place in town that'll fix this tractor once you buy it. Unless you already have a steam mechanic or two hiding out in these parts."

"Well, ya got us there," she conceded.

"Listen," Sprocket continued, "we'd like to sell you this tractor so you could take it off of our hooves. We had no use for it in Appaloosa, and got no use for it here. But you got to make this worth our while so we can start up our repair shop here and give you the service and parts you'll need for this fine machine. Help us help you, know what I mean?"

"Oh, I gotcha," Applejack said.

"I see where you're coming from," Cash agreed. "But just how much of our help do you think you need, if you know what I mean?"

"Aw, I reckon," Cog spoke up, "it'll take 'bout nine thousand bits of assistance to set us up nice here in Ponyville."

"Well, hey," Cash bargained, "if nine thousand will set you up nice, then sixty-five hundred should set you up decent."

"It would," Sprocket said, "if you want a repair shop in your town with no tools. Eight thousand will get you the shop and the tools."

"Seven thousand," Cash said firmly. "I won't go no higher."

"Is that right?" Cog asked. "Well, it would seem that we are at an impasse. Perhaps we should consider departing for a new port-of-call, Sprocket. I'm sure the pockets in Canterlot are deeper than this..."

"Wait!" Applejack interjected. "Let me speak to mah broker for a moment here."

"Take your time," Sprocket said. "We ain't going nowhere...yet."

Applejack and Cash trotted several steps away from the mechanics. "Cash," AJ whispered, "these ponies are really playin' hardball, but Ah need that tractor!"

"I hear you, AJ," he whispered back, "but they're not going to bite for seven thousand. It'll take at least seven-and-a-half, which you don't have if I recall."

"Ah know! Is there anything ya could do? Any ideas?"

"I've got one idea," Cash said. "I could open up a loan for you. For whatever price I can get this tractor at, I'll include the broker's fee and you just need to make a down payment later today. I'll even make the loan interest-free, just for you. Think you could swing it?"

"Ah think so," she thought aloud. "Later on today Ah can bring ya the down payment, then Ah figure it'll take a few weeks at the market ta pay the rest."

"You can take as long as you want paying it off," he assured. "As long as you can pay something on it every month we'll be square. Sound good?"

"Sounds good!" Applejack said, smiling. "Now let's go buy us that tractor!"

The two walked back to the waiting mechanics. Cash looked at them and said, "She and I talked and we're willing to go seven-and-a-half. Take it or leave it."

Applejack looked at Cash with wide, concerned eyes but said nothing. Sprocket nodded, looked down at his hooves for a moment, then looked up at Cog and asked, "What do you think?"

Cog looked down at Sprocket and replied, "Know what I think? I think I've had enough of this locomotion traveling. I'm so nauseated that if I keep looking at the scrolling landscape I just might vomit..."

"All right, I get it!" the furious little green mechanic pony exclaimed. "You're sick of the train! We're trying to sell the steam tractor here! Is that a yes?"

Cog nodded. "That's a yes."

"It's a deal, then," Cash said. "Seventy-five hundred it is." The mechanics took turns shaking hooves with the pawnbroker and the country mare.

"Pleasure doing business with you," Sprocket said. "Now we gotta get this big hunk of metal off the flatbed. Help us loosen the tie-downs and I'll drive it off the train. Where's it going to?"

"My shop, on the other side of town," Cash replied.

"All right, lead the way and we'll help you get it there," Sprocket said as he looked at Cash and Applejack. "Either of ya'll want to try out driving this thing on the way?"

"Do Ah ever!" Applejack exclaimed.

"Yeah, you bet!" Cash echoed. He looked at her and said, "Dibs on driving it first."

"Nuh uh, ain't no way! It's mah tractor, Ah'm driving it first!"

"Sorry, AJ, but it's mine until you pay your loan. That's the deal."

"Aw, shucks," Applejack said. "Well, a deal's a deal. Let's go help 'em unload it."

I'm pretty happy with how the deal turned out, Cash said in an on-camera interview. In a few weeks, Applejack will have herself a tractor and I'll be another seven hundred and fifty bits richer. Plus, I get to drive a steam machine back to my shop. How cool is that?

Later that afternoon in the shop, Big Hoss was furiously scraping the burnt words on the display case with a block of sandpaper. He stopped to wipe a little sweat off of his brow when he heard the loud clattering of machinery and hissing steam sounds outside of the shop.

"Oh, no," Hoss muttered to himself. "Whatever that sound is, it better not break the windows...again."

After several minutes, the noises stopped. Soon Cash walked up to the front door, where he asked the security pony, "Hey, Tony, you want to help me with something?"

"Sure thing, boss," Tony replied, and he followed Cash into the shop.

The two of them walked toward the back and stopped in front of Hoss. Cash smiled and said to him, "Guess what I just bought."

"The tractor?"

"Yep," Cash replied. "Applejack's going to the farm to get her down payment on the loan we're starting on it. I need you to help Tony carry out seven-and-a-half thousand bits to the mechanics I bought it from. They're waiting outside."

"Sure thing," Hoss said. He sniffed the air around his sire and remarked, "Pops, you stink like smoke. Did you set yourself on fire out there?"

"Ha ha, funny colt," Cash said. "I drove the tractor part of the way here."

"Where was the driver's seat, in the furnace?"

"Yeah, you're jealous 'cause you didn't get to drive a steam machine around," the pawnbroker remarked. His vision then shifted from Hoss to the display case. He looked at the case, narrowed his eyes and asked, "Who's a 'dear princess?'"

"Oh, that? Some colt came in messing around and wrote that there," Hoss said defensively.

"Wrote it?" Cash looked closely at the words. "It looks like these words were burnt onto the wood. How did that happen?"

"Well, um..."

"Hey, boss," Tony piped up, "aren't those mechanics waiting for their money?"

"Yeah, they are. Thanks, Tony," Cash said. "Hoss, I'll get back to you and this case thing later. You go and help Tony while I go and wash this stink off of my coat."

"Yeah, Pops." Hoss said as he and Tony walked toward the back room to count out and bag up the payment for the tractor.

Some time later, Cash came out of the back washroom. He walked toward the front of the shop, where found Big Hoss and Derpy standing behind one of the counters and walked up to them.

"Much better," Hoss remarked as he sniffed the air again.

"Still jealous," Cash said. "Now about that display case..."

"Hold up, Pops, we've got a customer here," Hoss interrupted. He motioned to a snow-white pegasus mare with an aquamarine mane and flight goggles above her eyes on the other side of the counter. "Can you take this? I've got a, uh, thing to do." He quickly trotted off and left Cash and Derpy to help the customer.

"A thing?" Derpy asked. "What kind of a thing? I like things."

"Never mind, Derpy," Cash said as he turned his attention to the customer. "Sorry about that. What can we do for you?"

"Not a problem," the mare remarked. She rifled through her saddlebag, which was emblazoned with her cyclone cutie mark, and pulled out a heavy golden trophy. "I'll bet that you've never seen one of these in here before!" she declared as she put it down upon the counter.

Cash looked at the piece of metal shaped into a tornado and said, "Well, I can say this is the first time I've had..."

"A Breezy!" Derpy interrupted. "Awesome!"

"In my store before," he finished.

I've heard a little bit about the Breezy Awards from a couple pegasi I know, Cash said in an on-camera interview. They're given out to weatherponies who demonstrate excellence in manipulating the weather while serving the meteorological needs of all Equestria. They're a really big deal up in Cloudsdale and down here on terra firma. I'm interested in knowing why somepony would want to part with something as special as this, though...

"Wow, this is awesome!" Derpy exclaimed as she admired the award. "I was up for one of these once, you know: best electrical storm!"

"Really?" Cash asked. "Why didn't you win?"

"Oh, well, the committee's official ruling had something to do with 'excessive collateral damage' or something like that..."

"I think you got snubbed, Derpy," Cash said as he took a closer look at the trophy. He read aloud the inscription on the base, "'Best Rainstorm Control, Emerald Storm.' Is that you?"

"Yep!" Emerald answered proudly. "I about flew my flank off last year keeping a huge Baltimare rainstorm in line. Outlying farmers needed the water for the crops, but the city-folk didn't want their precious sunny day spoiled. They said the job was too big for just one pony, but I did it!"

"So if you're so proud of this award, why are you selling it?"

"Actually," she clarified, "I just want to pawn it today. I've been working in a, um, really far-off land for several months now and I'm about to take my first vacation in a whole year to Las Pegasus. I'm just looking for about five hundred bits to play around with while I'm there."

"Is that right?" Cash asked as he looked over the award some more. He stopped to look at Emerald and said, "Well, this is definitely something I'm interested in holding onto for you. I'm just not quite as knowledgable with pegasus-related items like this as I'd like to be." He turned to look at Derpy and started to ask, "Hey, Derpy, do you..."

"I'm on it, boss!" Derpy interrupted as she gave a guffawed salute, jumped into the air and shot out of the pawn shop.

"Huh," Cash said as he looked at Emerald. "She probably took off looking for one of the experts I usually call in, but I was just going to ask her about this award. I mean, she is a pegasus."

Emerald shrugged and said, "Well, at least she's motivated."

About fifteen minutes later, Derpy flew back into the shop and declared, "All right, everypony, you know the drill! Go ahead and stand on or hold down anything that could get blown away..."

Her warning was cut off by the rainbow-colored pegasus who flew past her and sent her spinning like a top. The blur flew right up to Cash and Emerald and stopped in midair.. "So, you've got a Breezy, huh?" Rainbow Dash asked before she took off and flew a lap around the shop that sent all kinds of papers flying. Dash stopped back in front of them. "How's that for breezy?"

"Yeah, real breezy. Thanks, Dash," Cash said as he scooped up some of the paperwork. As he did he muttered to himself, "That joke could have gone in a couple different directions..."

Next to the door, Derpy finally stopped spinning. She wobbled about for a minute and muttered, "I'll have the Applejack muffins please, apple cobbler," before she fell flat on her face.

Rainbow Dash is my name, and awesome is my game! she declared as she hovered in front of the camera outside of the shop for her interview. Cash will call me in here to ask about the pegasus stuff that he gets from time to time. Because you know, not everypony can have their head as high up in the clouds as me.

"So what can I do for ya?" Dash asked as she floated down and planted her hooves upon the floor.

"Well, Dash, to tell you the truth I didn't really send for you," Cash started explaining. "Derpy kind of assumed I needed your help on this..."

"What?" She interrupted and stomped her hoof. "Are you kidding me? That dippy mare got me up from my cloud nap for nothing? Oh, where is she? When I find her..."

"But as long as you are here," Cash said as he slid Emerald Storm's breezy on the counter toward Dash, "perhaps you wouldn't mind sharing a little insight on this?"

Dash stopped ranting as her eye caught sight of the gleaming award. "Oh, awesome! A Breezy!" she exclaimed and started to get excited. A moment later she composed herself and continued, "I mean, oh, a Breezy. Pretty cool, I guess. A totally political award, but whatever. Is this yours?" She asked Emerald.

"Sure is," Emerald answered. "And by the way, Dash, I'm glad to finally meet you face-to-face! I've heard so much about you."

"Yeah," she answered smugly, "I'm pretty radical. But you know, I think I remember that rainstorm last year in Baltimare. That was a pretty dicey situation which you apparently handled really well, so great job on that!"

"Thanks!"

"So this Breezy is a pretty well-respected accolade, right Dash?" Cash asked.

"Oh yeah, this is a serious award," Dash said. "Not just anypony can earn one of these. You have to be the very best at what you do, and even then you might not earn it because somepony else might do something super exceptional. There's a whole committee of pegasi in Cloudsdale that gets all the personal submissions and reccomendations for the Breezys. Literally hundreds of pegasi go in for this award every year."

"So Dash, with all the great work you've pulled off, I'm sure you've got a couple of these," Cash assumed.

"Pfft, are you kidding?" She scoffed. "The stuff I do goes way off the Breezy charts in terms of awesomeness!"

Everypony was silent for a moment, as if they were expecting Rainbow Dash to give an example of her award-winning work. Cash broke the silence by saying, "Um, Dash? Do you actually have one of these?"

"Well, uh," Rainbow Dash started, then sighed. "No."

"Really? Not one?"

"Nope, not one," she repeated. "I've never really had my year to earn one, I guess."

"That's really surprising," Cash remarked. "Shouldn't you have got one last year when you and your flyers had to bring the water supply to Cloudsdale? If I remember right, a whole bunch of your flyers were out sick and you almost didn't make it. Weren't you recognized for that?"

"Actually," she clarified, "the real hero that day was Fluttershy. She stepped up and made the tornado happen, so..."

"So...oh," he said in realization. Then he started to ask, "Does she..."

"Yep," Dash replied simply.

"For that?"

"Yep."

"And you don't?"

"That's right."

"Wow," Cash breathed. "Sorry, Dash. I thought maybe you were a shoe-in for that one."

"Eh, no worries," Dash said. "She deserved it. Besides, not everypony needs one of these to know how awesome they are at what they do."

"That's true," he said. "So back to Emerald's Breezy here. Is there any way you could put some kind of monetary value on this award?"

"Well, that's the thing," Dash reasoned. "It's hard to put a price on the prestige that comes with earning a Breezy. You can't just go off of what the metal on this thing is worth. It's like trying to put a price tag on awesome. You just can't do it!"

"I hear you," Cash said. He extended his hoof to shake hers and said, "Thanks for coming in, Dash."

"No prob. And now I can get back to my cloud nap!" Dash turned to look at Emerald and said, "Good meeting you, Emerald, I'm sure I'll catch up with you again later."

"Thanks, you too! See ya!" Emerald called after the rainbow blur as she whooshed out of the shop.

"Okay, Emerald," Cash said. "If it's still okay with you, I'll give you the five hundred-bit loan you asked for with this. I'm just giving you the fair warning that you better be ready to pay it back with interest in time. Because if you don't, I'll start selling this in my shop. If you want it back then, you'll have to pay about ten times the price for it."

"You know," she said, "I was kind of thinking about that. I think I'd feel better about getting just half that, you know? Las Pegasus will still be fun with that much money to play with, and I want to make sure I can get my award back when I return. Is that okay?"

"Of course," the pawnbroker replied. "We can do two-fifty, or whatever you're comfortable with."

The pegasus nodded. "Yeah, let's do two-fifty."

"All right," Cash said as they shook hooves. "Let's go write this up."

I'll loan anypony however much they want for a pawn loan, Cash said in another on-camera interview. In any case, I'm the one making money. It's good to see somepony who knows how to stay within their means, which I think Emerald did today.

It was nearly the end of the day shift when Applejack walked back into the shop wearing a heavy set of saddlebags. She went straight to the back of the shop, where Cash was at his desk doing paperwork and closing out some of the day's business. He saw her approach the counter and he got up to help her.

"You got your down payment?" He asked as he walked to the counter.

"You betcha," Applejack answered.

"Great," Cash returned. "Let's run it through the coin counter over here." He motioned to a large brass appliance with a funnel at the top and sets of cylinders at the bottom. Cash pumped a lever on the back with his hoof a few times and made the machine start to click. Then he looked at the orange mare and said, "Go ahead and dump 'em on in."

Applejack opened her saddlebags and one-by-one poured the contents of several smaller bags into the funnel. The machine clicked and ticked over and over as coins filled the cylinders underneath. As the sets of cylinders were filled, Cash removed them from the machine and dumped them into his own bags that he set on the floor on his side of the counter. When all of Applejack's coins were put in, Cash took out some paperwork and made the final count.

"Alrighty then," he said as he read a set of dials on the back of the coin counter. "Your loan is for eight thousand, two hundred and fifty bits. You brought in eight thousand and twenty-one, which means you still owe me two hundred and twenty-nine bits."

"Shoot, Ah should have that after the next two market days, three if it's slow goin'," Applejack said.

"Okay," Cash said before he picked up a quill in his mouth and made some notations on her paperwork. He put it down and continued, "So let's plan to have your next payment in about a month from now. If you pay it off then, great, and if not you can pay me again in another month. Sound good?"

"Sounds good!" Applejack agreed. "Ya better have that wood an' coal stocked up, 'cause I'm gettin' mah tractor in a month."

"I'll make sure it's piled high when you pay it off," Cash said.

"An' hey, Cash, thanks again for helpin' me out today," she said. "The family an' Ah really appreciate it."

"You bet, AJ."

"Well, y'all have a good night!" Applejack called as the turned to leave the shop.

"Thanks, you too!" Cash called after her. As she went out the door, he called to Tony, "All right, Tony, let's go ahead and lock it up."

"You got it, boss," Tony called back.

Cash scooped up the paperwork on the counter in a pile, then took it in his mouth over to his desk. He set it down with the rest of the day's purchases and started working through them. As he did, Big Hoss walked into the back office.

"Hey, Pops," he said as he sat down at his desk to work on a set of paperwork at his desk.

"Hey, son," Cash replied, not bothering to look up. "Saw that you got the high-value item count done for me today, thanks for that."

"Uh huh."

"Looks like you made some great purchases today, too."

"Eeyup."

"And those burnt words came out good with the sandpaper, huh?

"They sure did," Hoss said. He paused for a second and started again, "I mean, um..."

"Busted," Cash said. "I just saw the invoice from the phoenix quill you bought off of Spike. You let him test it on the case, didn't you?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "Sorry, Pops."

"Next time, don't be so lazy and go get a piece of wood from the back, you know? I don't have money to waste on cases that keep breaking for one reason or another, you know."

"Sure, sure," Hoss said. He looked around the office and remarked, "It's just the two of us here? Where's Gramps?"

"Left early to go play cards at Cranky's."

"And what about Derpy?"

"Derpy?" Cash asked. "I thought she was with you."

Meanwhile in the back inventory room, Derpy was sweeping up. As she worked along a wall of shelves, she held the broom in her teeth as she swept the dust bunnies around the floor while simultaneously using her feathery wings to dust off the items on the shelf. She continued to sweep as she made her way to the pawn inventory, where a shiny object on one of the top shelves a few heads above her caught her eye. Derpy stopped what she was doing and took a closer look at the golden cyclone set upon its small wooden pedestel. She let the broom drop from her mouth as she breathed, "Ooh, Breezy..."

Derpy glanced around the room, as if to see if anypony was in the room with her. Then she flapped her wings and floated up to the shelf, where she gingerly picked up the award in her front hooves. She floated back down and set it upon a nearby stack of boxes. She looked to her left and right again to make sure she was alone, then walked a few paces away from the boxes.

"And now, ladies and gentlecolts," Derpy announced in an awards emcee voice, "the Breezy for the all-time, Equestria's greatest, most awesomest pegasus pawnbroker ever goes to...Derpy Hooves!"

She trotted back behind her makeshift podium and said to her imaginary audience, "Oh thank you, thank you so much!" Derpy picked up the Breezy in her front hooves, grinning and admiring it with her askew eyes. "My goodness, everypony! I never in all my days would have expected to win this amazing award! Oh, there are so many ponies out there who without their help I don't think I'd be up here tonight. First of all, I'd like to thank my sweet little Dinky Doo for being such a great little filly and inspiring me to be all that I can be! I love you, honey! I'd also like to thank everypony at the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop for everything they've done for me: Cash Money for being a great boss, and Old Money for not being so grouchy with me when I drop stuff, and Big Hoss for..."

"For telling you to stop horsing around?" Big Hoss's voice interrupted Derpy's speech as he stepped from the hallway into the room.

Derpy jumped and nearly dropped the statuette, but kept it in her hooves. She flew up to the shelf where she got it, put it back and floated back down. "Um, yeah," she said sheepishly. "For that. Sorry."

Hoss shook his head. "Come on, Derpy," he said. "Stop playing in the pawn inventory. I thought I put that where you couldn't find it."

"Never underestimate a pegasus, boss Hoss!" she replied, flapping her wings a couple times.

Hoss sighed and said, "Come on, we're all closed up. So unless you want to work the window on the night shift, I suggest we get outta here." Derpy nodded, and the two of them started walking out of the room. As they did, he turned to her and said, "Oh, and for the record, if you do win a Breezy, I better be the first of your co-workers who you thank. Because my dad's not awesome, I am."

"You got it, boss Hoss!"

Episode 7: Passing the Buck

I'm Cash Money, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my sire, Old Money; and my colt, Big Hoss.

Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned in all my years in Ponyville, is that you never know WHAT is going to trot through that door.

This is Ponyville Pawn Stars.

Cash unlocked the back door of the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop, slipped inside, then closed and locked the door behind him. He trotted down the dark hallway of the pawn inventory room and out onto the store floor. The pawnbroker stayed behind the counter as he walked around to the office area. There he found his son sitting at his desk with his forelegs upon the desktop, his head in his hooves and his eyes shut. A guttural snore was coming out of his muzzle. Cash smiled as he picked up one of his forelegs and brought his hoof down hard on the wooden desktop. The younger stallion jolted awake and nearly bucked himself out of his chair.

"I'm up, I'm up!" Big Hoss shouted, still groggy.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead," Cash said. "I figured you'd be getting forty winks in right about now."

"I wasn't sleeping," the younger stallion said as he rubbed his head with a hoof. "Just resting my eyes."

"Are you kidding? You were snoring so loud I thought your Gramps had decided to stay the night," Cash said sarcastically as he opened one of his desk drawers. He picked out a ring of keys out of the drawer with his mouth, dropped them on the desktop and started, "I need-"

"Not it." Hoss said, cutting him off.

"You didn't even let me finish."

"That's because I know what you're gonna ask me," he said as he got out of his chair. "I'm not gonna do it. I'll get the rest of the store ready and I'll do it before I go home and get cleaned up, but I'm not opening that door. You do it."

"Come on, kid," Cash said, "you were on the night shift anyway. It's your job, so go do it."

"Not this time," Hoss said as he shook his head. "And by the way, that was my fourth night in a row. I'm not going on night shift again until you get somepony else to do it for at least two shifts."

"Tell you what," Cash bargained, "I'll unlock the front door this morning, even though it is your job. Then I'll get somepony else to take tonight's shift, but that's it. I'm making the next week's schedule tomorrow so we can talk about you burning the midnight oil then, okay?"

"Fine by me," Hoss said as he yawned and walked toward the back rooms. "I'm getting the jewelry out of the vault. Better open the door, they sound antsy out there."

"'Fine by me,' he says," Cash grumbled as he picked up the keys in his mouth and walked toward the front of the store. "Now I wish I hadn't given Tony the day off."

As he approached the wooden front doors, he could hear the commotion of other ponies talking loudly on the other side. Cash took the key, put it into the lock and muttered, "Here goes nothin'..." He turned the key and pushed the door open wide.

"Mornin', everypony, and wel-whoa!" was all he could say before the rush of ponies barreled into the store and bowled him over upon his back. All he could see flying past him were several sets of pastel-colored hooves and legs.

"Before the TV show, we were doing a fair amount of business," Cash explained in an on-camera interview. "We thought that the show would bring in more, but we never thought it would get this popular. Ponies from all over have been coming in to see us: Baltimare, Appaloosa, Fillydelphia, Manehatten, Canterlot, even as far as Crystal Empire. Now nopony around here can get anything done without saying hey to fans. We're all household names now. Even Derpy is a celebrity. I mean, Derpy, really? Who could see that coming?"

In the midst of the commotion, a well-dressed brown stallion with moneybags on his flank pushed past the flood of other customers. "Excuse me, pardon me," Filthy Rich said in a staunch voice. "Move aside, please."

As Filthy made his way toward the back counter, Old Money hobbled out from the back room holding a large mug of coffee. "Hey Derpy," he yelled over his shoulder, "this is some good joe, but ya might wanna actually use that little scoop for the next pot. These tenderhooves don't like it strong like I do." Just then he caught sight of Filthy and stopped in his tracks. "You!" he exclaimed. "What're you doin' in here?"

"Uh oh," Cash muttered.

"Well now, Old Money," Filthy said, "that ain't no way to wish a fellow businesspony a good mornin'."

"That's because I didn't!" the wrinkly horse retorted. "I'm wishing you a rotten fiscal year!"

"My dad and Stinkin' Rich have had this bitter feud between them for years," Cash explains to the camera, "and it's only continued to grow by trickling down to Filthy. Don't ask me what started all of this. It must have been so long ago that reason's probably lost to the sands of time now."

"Filthy Rich can kiss my left hoof," Old Money said to the camera. "That spoiled colt's got everything he has 'cause his pops Stinkin' gave it all to him. I never gave Cash or Hoss nothin' in this business. They had to earn what they got."

"Whaddaya want, Filthy?" Old Money asked angrily. "Tell me quick so I can start helping some payin' customers."

"Oh, I was just wondering," Filthy said smugly, "if you folks here had decided on what to put up on the auction block for the Pegasus Foals Orphanage benefit. It's coming up real soon. Y'all hadn't forgotten, have you?"

"Of course not!" the old stallion snapped back. "And it ain't no business of yours knowing what we're going to bring this year."

"Well, I just want to make sure that my fellow businesspony is prepared to do all he can to help the little ones," Filthy continued. "And, bless their hearts, they need all the help they can get. I'd just hate for one of us to come up short for them, you know, like last year."

"Quit callin' me your fellow businesspony, you rotten little-" Old Money growled before his son stepped in front of him.

"Whoa there, dad, ease up," Cash said to him before he turned to address his father's nemesis. "Filthy, you know we do the best we can. We're still the family-operated secondhand store, and you're still the big discount supercenter. Besides, the auction is for charity. It's not a competition."

"You're absolutely right, Cash Money. It isn't a competition," Filthy replied. He took a couple steps forward, looked right into Old Money's eyes and said, "It certainly isn't a close one."

Old Money coldly glared back at him.

"Well," Filthy said as he smoothed down his tie with a hoof, "I best be getting back to my store. See you around, old-timer!"

The father and son watched as the gloating pony slipped through the crowd of customers and out the door. Old Money muttered as he shook one of his hooves in front of him, "You know, boy, one of these days..."

"I know, dad," Cash agreed. "He's a jaded, privileged pain in the flank, and as long as we're all in this town then we've got to put up with his bullspit. Come on, let's go make some money."

"In case you haven't noticed, this auction is a huge deal with both my dad and Filthy," Cash explained in an on-camera interview. "Every year the orphanage in Cloudsdale holds a special benefit auction. Both business owners and private citizens are invited to donate items to go up on the auction block. All of the proceeds go toward making improvements to the building. The auction is great for businessponies like us because celebrities will come and bid on our items, which makes some good publicity. Every year they compete to see who can raise the most money at the auction. My dad always puts up the oldest, most valuable antique we have in the shop at the time, but every year Filthy has the latest and greatest must-have item that gets bought for the most money. Then his superstore is busy all year."

A short time later, a yellow unicorn with a brown mane trotted into the store. The stallion, who sported a brass scales cutie mark, trotted to up to where Cash stood behind the counter.

"Good morning," Cash greeted the customer. "How can I help?"

The customer looked at him and asked, "Do you like weddings?"

"Sure," he answered. "Weddings are nice, full of love and joy. Plus, I never miss a good party."

"Well, how would like to be invited to the wedding of the century?" The customer asked as he used his magic to open the saddlebags he was wearing and take out a small wooden box. As he set it down on the counter, he continued, "Unfortunately, you're going to be quite late to this party."

As Cash started to inspect the item, he saw that it was actually a shadow-box with a sheet of parchment inside. He looked through the tiny pane of glass to read aloud the words written on the parchment, "Honored guest, you are cordially invited to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guard." He looked at the customer, nodded his head and said, "Yep, I would have loved to be at this party!"

"Royalty collectibles are big right now," Cash said in an on-camera interview, "especially in Ponyville. Ever since the coronation of our own Princess Twilight Sparkle, everypony has been going gaga over anything and everything with a royal connection to it. Not only is this an invite to one of the biggest royal weddings in the history of Equestria, but the groom happened to be Twilight's big brother. For both those reasons, I think this piece is going to be super-desirable once I start selling it in my shop."

"So this is an actual invitation to Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor's wedding?" Cash asked.

"Actually," the customer clarified, "this is one of several commemorative invitations the bride and groom sent to their guests after the wedding."

"Okay, so it's a souvenir. But it's still in a very nice presentation with this shadow-box. Were you invited to the wedding?"

"No, sir, and quite frankly I'm happy I wasn't, namely due to all the chaos with those changelings and whatnot."

"Oh, I hear ya," Cash agreed. "So, how did you get this?"

"Well, I'm a lawyer," the customer explained, "and my firm is in Canterlot. One of my clients was in the wedding party. When she couldn't pay all of my fees after her court case, she offered me this to help offset her debt. Normally I don't do bartering for my services, but since it came from the royals I figured it would be a quick and easy sell. I hope you're interested."

"Oh, I am, definitely," Cash affirmed. "How much are you looking to get out of it?"

"I was thinking about one thousand bits," the lawyer offered.

Cash took a moment to look over the box again. He picked it up in his hoof and looked over it on all sides. He turned it over in his hooves to look at the back, then the front again before he put it down, looked at the customer and said, "You know, that is actually a pretty fair price for this. I would be okay with buying this off you for a thousand. That is, of course, assuming it's the real deal, you know? It looks really well made, but let's face it, anypony with a little creativity could fashion something like this and tell you it came from the royals. You know what I mean?"

"Oh, definitely," the attorney agreed. "I understand."

"I'd like to get a confirmation from somepony who has maybe seen something like this before," Cash said.

"We could always ask Princess Twilight," the lawyer reasoned. "As I've heard, she's still residing in Ponyville."

"Sorry man, but right now that princess is in another castle," Cash replied. "In fact, she and all of her friends are out at some big to-do in the Crystal Empire. I'd call one of them in to confirm this if they were still in town. Let me rack my brain and find somepony close by who can confirm this. Just sit tight here for a few minutes, okay?"

"I nearly got burned once before on a deal that involved royalty," Cash told the camerapony. "If this thing is real, I want it in my shop. But I have to know it's legit; absolutely, positively, one-hundred percent beyond a shadow of a doubt."

About half an hour later, Derpy flew into the store. She touched down on the floor and trotted up to Cash, who said, "Well, who'd you find?"

"Um, boss?" She said nervously.

"Oh no," Cash returned. "Please don't 'um, boss' me like that, Derpy. That's never good."

"Well," she explained, "I looked all over town for everypony you asked for, but none of them are here."

"Are you sure? Did you look for Vinyl and Octavia?"

"Out on a gig and a recital."

"Drat. Fancypants?"

"Canterlot."

"Double drat," Cash said. After a slight hesitation, he asked, "Trixie?"

"I didn't think you were serious about her, but I asked around anyway. She's on tour right now."

"She was my long shot. Actually, I'm glad Trixie was unavailable. Well, you tried. Thanks anyhow."

"You bet, boss," she said as she trotted off.

Cash walked back behind the counter to where the attorney unicorn patiently waited. As Cash approached, the customer asked, "So, did you find your expert?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Well, that's too bad," he said as he eyed the shadow-box, then looked back at Cash. "Does that mean you're not going to buy my invitation?"

"Now, I didn't say that," Cash clarified. "I'm definitely interested in it still, but without knowing for sure of its authenticity I'm going to have to bring my asking price down a little."

"I see. And how much exactly is 'a little?'"

"I'd be willing to give you eight hundred for it."

The attorney sighed. "That's not exactly what I was hoping for."

"I know, but without a confirmation I can't offer much more."

"Would you settle on nine twenty five?"

Cash shook his head. "There's no way I'm paying that much without knowing for sure where this came from. I'll give you eight fifty. That's cash money, bright and shiny bits. Just say the word and I'll have it in your hooves in ten minutes flat."

The attorney thought for a moment to consider the offer. Then he answered, "All right then. Eight fifty sounds fair."

"Great, let's go do some paperwork."

"I probably shouldn't have even entertained the idea of buying it without an expert," Cash said on-camera. "But let's face it; I too have been bitten by the royalty bug. I went with my gut on this one, and I'm hoping I made the right decision."

Later that day, while Cash put the invitation in the back room and straightened up the inventory, there was a large gathering of ponies in the store. Each of the other pawnbrokers had a group of customers clamoring around them and making special requests. A young pegasus colt near Big Hoss picked up a postcard from a stand sitting on the counter. It was a picture of the Silver Saddle Pawn Shop. He put it down on the counter in front of the pawnbroker, slid it toward him and said, "Yo, Big Hoss, I'd like to buy this postcard. Will you sign it for me?"

"All right," Hoss said as he took the colt's bits. Then flipped open a pad of ink on the counter, dabbed his hoof on it and stamped the postcard. "Want to me make this out to someone?" He asked as he picked up a quill between his teeth.

"Yeah," the colt said, "how about, 'to Hailstorm, the strongest pony I ever knew!'"

Hoss chuckled. "Ha ha, okay, killer," he said as he wrote, 'to Hailstorm, the funniest pony I met today.'

At another counter, two young mares approached Old Money. One of them smiled and giggled as she greeted him, "Hey, handsome." Her friend giggled a little as well.

"Well hey there, young fillies," he said with a sly grin. "What can I do for ya today?"

One of the mares asked, "Hey, can my friend and I get a picture with you?"

"Absolutely, young fillies," the old stallion said as he shuffled in between them.

Another mare wearing a camera stood in front of them, aimed and said," All right, smile, everypony!" The three ponies posed and smiled as the camera clicked and the flash fired. "Got it!"

One of the mares turned to Old Money, smiled and said, "Thanks so much!"

"You're welcome," he replied. "That'll be two bits."

The two mares giggled again and blushed.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

Across the showroom floor, a young colt waited patiently in a line with a brown muffin on his head. When it was finally his turn, he approached the counter where Derpy stood and asked, "Hey Derpy, will you sign my muffin?"

"Sure thing, little guy!" she said. The gray mare leaned over and took a big bite out of the pastry.

"Wow, thanks!" he exclaimed as crumbs fell in his mane. The colt took the muffin off his head, held it in his hooves and gazed at the bite mark. "I'm never, ever throwing this muffin away!"

Cash then stepped out from the back room and onto the sales floor, stopping for a moment to observe all the crowds gathered around the other pawnbrokers. He trotted up to Big Hoss, who was still signing autographs, and asked, "Hey, son?"

Hoss looked at Cash and replied, "Hey dad, I'm a little busy. What's up?"

"Look, can I talk to you for a minute? In the office?"

"Sure, pops," he said before he addressed the crowd. "Alright everypony, looks like that's it for today. But feel free to browse around and let us know if you need anything."

The two of them walked back behind the counters and into the office area. They stopped at Hoss's desk and Cash asked, "Hoss, what's going on out there?"

"What do you mean?" He returned, "It's business as usual."

"I don't think so," Cash said. "What's with the autographs and the photos?"

"Meet and greets," Hoss replied.

Cash looked at his son and raised an eyebrow. "Meet and greets?" he asked.

"Yeah, pops," he answered. "In case you haven't noticed, we've kinda become big personalities now. We've got to engage with the public on a regular basis."

"I've noticed that your head's gotten bigger," Cash retorted. He eyed several tall stacks of Silver Saddle Pawn Shop postcards sitting on Hoss's desk, picked one up and inquired, "Where did these come from?"

"I ordered them last week," Hoss said. "The printer dropped them off this morning. I've signed so many of them my jaw's starting to hurt."

"How much did these cost?" His father asked with an air of concern. "And please tell me you didn't use the store's money!"

"Dad, it's okay, we had enough petty cash to cover it," he assured. "Besides, I'm selling them for ten times what it cost to make them. And you know what? They're selling like hotcakes! I've already made back about half what I paid for them."

Cash put down the postcard, looked at Hoss and said firmly, "Look, I can appreciate the initiative in this. But we're not a tourist trap, bottom line. You want face-time with the customers? Do it while you sell them something other than cheap postcards. Now get back to work. And don't order any more merchandise." Cash started walking toward the storeroom.

"Gramps said it was a good idea," Hoss called after him. When Cash said nothing he continued, "You haven't even seen the t-shirts yet!"

"T-shirts?!" Cash's exclamation echoed through the hall.

"We've got shotglasses coming in tomorrow, too!"

"Shotglasses?!"

Later that afternoon, Big Hoss was back on the sales floor. A brown earth pony with a dusty tan mane walked into the shop. He saw Big Hoss at the counter, approached and greeted him with a loud, "Howdy!"

"Hey howdy hey," Hoss replied. "What can I do ya for?"

"Y'all buy construction equipment?" The customer asked.

"Yeah, we buy it," Hoss answered. "You got some?"

"It's out front here," he motioned with his head toward the front door. "Let me show ya."

The two ponies walked outside. The customer led Hoss to a large, four-wheeled device with a harness. It sort of resembled a wagon without any sides or bottom. A long piece of concave metal was fastened at an angle beneath the frame where it almost touched the ground. "This is it," the pony said.

"A grader, huh?" Hoss inquired. "Been awhile since I had one of these at the shop."

"We do business with construction ponies pretty regularly here," Hoss explained on-camera. "Sometimes we buy off their old equipment so they can get an upgrade. The stuff we buy gets cleaned up and resold to other guys who need it. Win, win, win."

Hoss trotted around the grader to investigate it from all angles. "It looks pretty solid to me," he said as he walked. He stopped at the back of the device, knelt down and looked closer at the frame where nuts and bolts joined the pieces. Hoss pointed with a hoof to one of the joints and commented, "This looks kinda rusty here to me. How old is this thing?"

"Older'n me, I reckon," the brown pony answered. "It's 'bout time I traded up to somethin' newer."

"Uh huh," Hoss said as he straightened himself up. He leaned back, put his front hooves against the frame and gave it a hard push. It rolled a couple of yards forward, squeaking loudly as it did. "Sounds like you needed to trade up a couple of years ago. How much were you looking to get out of this thing?"

"I got some bits saved up toward a new grader," he said. "Figure 'bout two hundred more'll get me there."

"Really?" Hoss asked with a raised eyebrow. He looked at the customer, then back to the grader and continued, "The way it looks and sounds right now, fifty bits would be the most I'd want to give you."

"Oh, I know she's a little dirty and noisy," the customer defended, "but she's still solid as a rock."

"I'm sure she is," Hoss said as he eyed the grader again. "If you want, I can get another set of eyes on this and see if we could meet somewhere in the middle. No guarantees, but I'm willing to work with you."

"That'd be fine," the dusty pony replied.

"Good deal. I'll be right back." Hoss turned and walked back inside the shop. He looked around the showroom and found Derpy behind the jewelry counter, securing an ornate silver necklace with glimmering white stones in the glass case. "Hey Derpy?"

She looked up and answered, "Yeah, Hoss?"

"I got a guy outside wanting to sell me an old grader. Can you fly to Sweet Apple Acres and get our tool expert?"

"Oh I don't know, Hoss," she said sarcastically and with a goofy grin, "can I?"

"Okay then," he returned, "will you please flex those wings and fly to the farm, ricky tick?"

"You got it, boss Hoss!" she exclaimed. The gray mare gave a little hop, flapped her wings, then flew over the counter and Hoss's head toward the door.

"Go around next time!" he yelled after her.

About twenty minutes later, a large red stallion walked up to the pair of ponies waiting by the grader. "Hey Mac," Hoss greeted. "Appreciate you coming here in between your chores on the farm."

"Eyup," Big Mac replied.

"Um, I'm Big McIntosh," he said on-camera, "and I know a lot about tools." He stopped, and an uncomfortable silence followed. His eyes looked to the left and the right of the camera for a moment, then finished his spot with an, "Eyup."

"So Mac, let me show you what concerns me about this grader," Hoss said as all three of the ponies knelt down at the back of the device. He pointed with a hoof to the reddened spots and continued, "So what do you make of this stuff right here? That looks like rust to me."

"Eyup," the baritone-voiced pony replied. He then cleared his throat and continued, "It looks like this piece of equipment has had more than its fair share of use, judging by the color of the metal."

"My concern is that rust is starting to weaken the frame."

"On the contrary," Mac clarified, "that right there is what I'd more accurately call patina. You were right to be concerned about the state of the metal, but this equipment is made out of good quality steel. The patina is what gives this thing its character. It shows how durable it's been over the years."

"All right," Hoss said as he and the other two stallions straightened themselves up. "I also wanted to get your thoughts on this..."

Hoss gave the grader a push. It let out a loud squeak that made Mac wince a little. "Eyowch!" he exclaimed.

"I know," the pawnbroker agreed. "Anything that squeaks that loud can't be one hundred percent solid."

"Maybe," the farmer said. He looked at the customer and asked, "When was the last time you oiled the axles?"

"Heh, oiled?" The brown pony responded with a chuckle.

"I figured it was awhile," Mac said. "Well Hoss, here're my thoughts: this grader here is no diamond in the rough, but it's not as bad as it looks and sounds. If you do buy it, definitely oil and grease the axles, but leave the patina alone. I don't think you'd have any problem reselling this for around a hundred and fifty bits."

"All right then, I'll keep that in mind," Hoss said as he and Mac shook hooves. "I'll let you get back to the farm, Mac. Thanks again for your help."

"Eyup," the stallion said as he walked off.

Hoss looked back at the customer, who looked at him with a smug smile and said, "Well, ya heard the expert! One fifty is what it's worth, so I'll take it!

"Whoa there, hold your horses," the pawnbroker said with a raised hoof. "Mac said I could sell it for one fifty, which means I have to buy it from you for less. That's how this works. I'll bring my offer up to one hundred."

"Hmm," the dusty pony said as he rubbed his chin with a hoof. "That's still kinda low. How 'bout we meet in the middle at one twenty-five?"

Hoss shook his head. "I'd like to, but I'm gonna have to stand firm at one hundred," he said. "I've got overhead and this thing is going to take up a lot of space in my warehouse, not to mention I'll be spending bits to clean it up."

The customer was silent for a moment. Then he nodded his head and said, "Well, a hundred'll get me closer than nothin', so I guess I'll take it."

"Excellent," Big Hoss said as they shook hooves. "Let's go in and do some paperwork."

"I'm glad I called in Mac on this one," Hoss said on-camera. "This thing will take up quite a bit of real estate and some of my time to fix, but it'll be worth it. The problems with this equipment aren't anything that a good spit-shine and a five-bit can of grease can't fix."

Later that evening, Big Hoss entered the back office area and found Cash sitting at his desk. He appeared to be deep in thought while staring at a sheet of paper and scratching his head with a front hoof. He walked up to his sire and asked, "What's going on, boss?"

Cash looked up at Hoss. "Colton's sister just came in and told me he's got the trots," he said. "He's going to be laid up for the next few days. It figures, I was about to call him in to cover for you tonight."

"Well, that stinks."

"Yeah," Cash sighed. "So it looks like-"

"Oh no!" Hoss exclaimed as he put up a front hoof in front of Cash. "You can stop right there, because I said I wasn't going on night shift again!"

"Well, what am I supposed to do, son? I'm trying to run a business here!"

"You said you'd give me at least one shift off," Hoss said firmly. "So you're down one pony, big deal. Go get somepony else to do it."

"There's just you, grandpa and Derpy," Cash said. "And I just trained her on working the night shift. I'd have to get somepony to work with her."

"You could always do it," Hoss retorted.

"Yeah, I could, but I've got a million other things to get done here."

"Whatever, pops," Hoss said. "You figure it out. I'm going home." He turned and walked out of the office.

Cash got up and went out to the sales floor. He found Derpy, who was just cashing out a customer. "Enjoy, have a great day!" she said as the customer left. When Cash walked up she said, "Hey, boss!"

"Hey Derpy," Cash said. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure boss, what's up?"

"My night shift guy just called in sick. I know you just got trained up on it, so do you think could work tonight if I found somepony to shadow you on your first time?"

"Oh, sorry Cash, but I can't," Derpy said. "Dinky's foalsitter is keeping a strict schedule with me this week. She needs to study for exams, so I have to be home early so she can go. I told you about that last week, remember?"

Cash nodded in realization. "That's right, you did tell me. I forgot, sorry I asked."

"It's okay, boss," Derpy said. "Maybe I can start next week."

Cash turned, walked around the counter and spotted his father. He went up to Old Money and said, "Hey, dad-"

"Whatever it is, the answer's no, son," the old stallion interrupted.

"You don't even know what I was going to ask you."

"Well, what're ya gonna ask me?"

Cash sighed. "Can you work night shift tonight?"

"Oh, I see. Well, in that case...buck no."

"Oh, come on!" Cash yelled, exasperated.

"Son, I ain't worked night shift since I gave you the reins to this place," Old Money grumbled. "I gave you that responsibility so I wouldn't have to work nights one second longer than I needed to. Now if you excuse me, it's almost closing time and I gotta get home. Your ma and my easy chair are callin' my name." He pushed past Cash and shuffled toward the back office. Cash was left alone at the counter. He sighed in dejection.

"Well, that's it," Cash confided on-camera. "The buck got passed to me. I guess if you want a job to be done right, you have to do it yourself."

About an hour later, the last customer left. Cash closed and locked the front door behind him, which left him alone in the shop. Cash walked to the back of the store and behind the counter to a peculiar window with heavy wooden shutters. Cash opened the shutters to reveal a window crisscrossed with a thick iron bars.

"Yes, I know it looks like a jail window," Cash said on-camera. "It's kind of depressing when you're on this side of it looking at the night sky. Everypony who works the night shift feels like a prisoner."

The breeze of the cool night air slipped through the bars and blew against Cash's face. He looked over at the clock on the wall, which happened to be the wooden antique clock he bought during the first episode. It was about quarter to nine, and the small picture on the clock face depicted a serene night sky over the sleeping village. Cash yawned and let his heavy eyelids close for a second.

"Dad...Dad, wake up!"

Cash was jolted awake by the sound of Big Hoss's voice. "What? I'm up, I'm up!" he yelled. Cash looked around and found the shop brightly lit, and it was daylight outside. "Oh, crabapples...did I sleep through the whole night shift?"

"Yeah, but that's not important," Hoss said. "Get your flank outta that chair and help us take care of all these customers!"

Cash looked toward the sales floor and found it was teeming with ponies. He looked outside and saw a huge line of customers stretching clear across town.

"Is that your last one?" A customer asked about an antique vase eagerly. "I'll take it!"

"Oh no, you don't!" another chimed in. "I'll give you ten bits more than what she's offering you!"

"Oh yeah?" Another butted in and challenged, "I'll give you double the sticker price!"

Derpy walked up to Cash wearing a set of saddlebags stuffed with bits. "Um, boss?" She asked weakly as she strained under the bags' immense weight and teetered from side to side. "The register, safe and vault are all full. Where can I put all this money?"

"Um, I dunno. I think-" Cash was interrupted by the sound of gasping ponies and stomping hooves. There was a great commotion at the front of the store, where the strong voice of a regal mare called out, "Cash Money!"

Ponies stepped aside and created a clear path to Cash's counter. A dark blue alicorn with a flowing mane the color of the midnight sky strode forward toward the pawnbroker with narrowed eyes. "Cash Money," Princess Luna repeated, then continued, "I implore a question."

"Princess Luna?" Cash asked in amazement. "I never expected to see you here today!"

"Good pawnbroker, I must pose you a question. Are you open?"

"What? Of course we're open! Don't you see?"

"No," Luna said. "I am afraid it is you who do not see."

"Uh oh," Cash said as he thought aloud. "My store is full of more customers than citizens of Ponyville, I'm loaded with money and Princess Luna is in my store? This is a dream, isn't it?"

No sooner than he had said the words did Cash snap awake. His head bolted upright, then looked about and noticed it was still nighttime, and the clock on the wall read nine-thirty.

"It figures," he sighed. "That dream was too good to be true."

"Excuse me?" A mare's voice said.

He turned back around and nearly jumped out of his chair. There before him on the other side of the iron bars stood the actual princess of the night. Several yards behind her, Luna's elegant yet somewhat macabre chariot was parked, in tow by her two bat-winged guards. "Excuse me, good pawnbroker," Luna said, echoing his dream in a softer voice, "but are you open?"

"It's not every day - or every night, in this case - that a princess comes to your place of business, much less completely unannounced," Cash said on-camera. "Needless to say, it was the last thing I was expecting to see on the night shift."

"Princess Luna!" Cash said as he hurriedly scooted out of his chair and bowed his head in respect. "I had no idea you'd be coming by tonight."

"Naturally you would not," Luna said. "I was out patrolling the skies with my detail when I recognized your shop down below. I am quite a big fan, and my schedule does not usually permit me to visit during the day, so when I saw your shop tonight, I thought-"

"Whoa, stop right there, your highness," Cash interrupted. "Forgive me for stopping you, but did you just call yourself a fan? As in a fan of the show and my store?"

"Oh, absolutely!" Luna exclaimed. "After all, there are about a thousand years of history that I have missed out on, and I get to see some of it piece by piece on your show. Plus, that father of yours and Derpy are just plain hilarious!" she laughed.

"This is incredible!" Cash exclaimed on-camera. "Not only am I talking to a princess of Equestria, I find out she loves watching my store?! This is way beyond cool!"

"Wow," Cash breathed, dumbfounded. "Your highness, I am-"

"Please," the princess said as she raised a hoof clad with a sparkling, black chrome shoe, "call me Luna."

"Very well, then," Cash concurred. "Luna, I am honored by your patronage. You know, normally this window is the only place where we do business after hours, but I would be willing to let you come in and browse around the store if you want. Let me get my keys and I'll meet you at the front door."

A few moments later, Cash let Luna inside of the store. She walked slowly along the counters and looked in all directions with wide and wondrous eyes. Cash watched her browse from behind a counter near the night window, which he occasionally glanced at in case a customer approached.

"Your selection is incredible!" she remarked. "Such a great mixture of things new and old, all right here before my eyes! I recognize just about everything in here from your shows."

"Yeah, I don't think enough ponies buy it," Cash remarked. "If you don't mind me asking, which episode is your favorite?

"Oh, I have enjoyed all of them," Luna said as she continued to look about. "Although the one that really caught my attention was the one with that unsavory con pony peddling that ridiculous forgery of my sister's shoe. Oh, that really got under my skin! The nerve of some ponies, attempting to exploit others with such lies! I mean-" her rant was cut short as she spotted something glimmering in a glass case. She trotted over to it, gazed inside and breathed, "Oh, by the stars, what is that?"

Cash walked around behind the counter, opened the back of the case and took out the item Luna had found. In his hooves he gingerly held a long silvery necklace adorned with several smoky white stones, most of which were either circular or crescent-shaped. The pawnbroker laid it flat on the glass countertop so the princess could admire it. "I'm glad you saw this," Cash said as he described the item. "This is called the Moonrise Necklace. The metal is all 24-karat silver, and the stones that look like white quartz are actually moonstone. Each moonstone has been expertly carved and polished to resemble the moon in its various phases. I have all the paperwork with this that dates when it was custom-made. The pony who commissioned this work of art clearly had a great love for the moon. Interesting fact about moonstone: one of its nicknames is the traveler's stone, because it is said to bring good luck during a journey if worn."

"Fascinating," she breathed at she studied every detail of the necklace. "It is almost as if somepony borrowed pieces of my night sky and created a work of art. Is it for sale?"

"It is," Cash said. "Luna, I think this necklace was made for you. Now I know the price tag is somewhat, well, astronomical, but for you I would be willing to adjust the price."

"Absolutely not, Cash!" Luna said firmly. "I would like to purchase this from you, and I insist upon paying full price! Allow me a moment to retrieve my money from my guard."

Luna turned and left. Several minutes later she returned with a somewhat dejected look on her face. "Well," she said, "this is unfortunate. It seems as if the guard responsible for keeping my funds forgot them at the palace. I am afraid I cannot buy the necklace at this time."

"Oh," Cash said with an air of the same disappointment, "that's too bad."

Luna looked to the floor for a few seconds, then back up at Cash and said, "Now, just a moment. Your establishment does accept trades, does it not?

Cash looked at her incredulously. "Well, sure," he said. "Is there something you would be willing to trade?"

Luna slipped her right forehoof out of her shoe, then her left followed by her hind hooves. She stepped to the side of her shoes, then motioned to them with a naked hoof. "I was reminded of what we were talking about earlier," she explained. "Since you encountered such aggravation over a single faked princess's shoe, how would you like to have a set of - as you might say - the 'real deal?' These are genuine silver onyx shoes, and I would like to offer them as a trade for your Moonrise Necklace."

"Oh, crabapples! Luna, you don't have to-"

"Again, I insist," she said firmly. "I feel it is the least I could offer. After all, I am one of your biggest fans."

"Thank you, Luna!" Cash exclaimed. "Thank you so much! You know, we're participating in the benefit auction for the pegasus orphans coming up. These would be the perfect thing to bring to it. That is, if you wouldn't object..."

"Oh, by all means, please do so!" she agreed. "I would be honored if you did."

"Excellent. Let's go do some paperwork."

They finished the sale at the back counter. The shoes were placed in a canvas security sack and Luna wore the glittering necklace. She looked down and admired how the stones twinkled like stars in the light of the shop. Cash signed the paperwork, slid the papers away and said, "Well, that about wraps things up." He paused for a moment, then added, "Wait a minute, Luna. I just remembered there's this thing I got that I could really use your help with. Would you mind you mind helping me with just one thing before you go?"

"Not at all, Cash," she replied.

"Great! I'll be right back." He turned and trotted into the back room. Cash came back a few minutes later holding the wedding invitation in a forehoof. He put the wooden box down on the counter in front of Luna and said, "I bought this today off of a pony from Canterlot."

Luna took a closer look. "Ah, yes," she said, "the Mi Amore Cadenza-Shining Armor union. A lovely yet tumultuous occasion."

"My problem is," Cash explained, "I bought this without making sure that it's real. I couldn't find a good expert in town, so I took a gamble. Think you could confirm this for me?"

"Oh tsk tsk, Cash. Such gambling can be quite foolhardy," she said as she examined the box. After looking closely at the script inside, Luna added, "But fortunately for you, the gamble has paid off. This is definitely real. I have the same one in my possession."

"Whew! That's a relief!" Cash sighed. He bowed his head again and said, "Thank you, Luna, for everything."

The pawnbroker was then startled to see his right forehoof surrounded with a midnight blue aura. It was raised up in front of him as the princess of the night extended her hoof to his. They shook as she smiled and said, "It was my pleasure, Cash. Take care, and enjoy the rest of your night."

"I sure will!" he called after Luna as she departed. He watched from the night window as she boarded her chariot and took off to the inky sky. Soon she was a black dot in front of the silvery moon, then she disappeared.

"Wow," he breathed. Cash turned his head and saw the canvas bag that contained the priceless shoes. He walked over to it, slipped the carrying strap over his head and started walked toward the back room. "Better put these babies in the vault before I forget," he said to himself. "The guys are never going to believe this in the morning."

In Memory of Hiroshi Yamauchi

1927-2013