A Life of Depression

A Life of Depression

Chapter 1: Lost a Friend, Gained a Friend?

By: Pinky102368

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Tears streamed down Starlight Glimmer’s cheeks.

       “Why...?” she wandered out loud. “Why would a stupid thing like a cutie mark separate you from your best friends?”

        The tears flowed out harder. "Why...?"

        Starlight Glimmer sat down on her bed. She turned to her pillow; let her face fall into it, and started sobbing.

         “Why would Sunburst...of all ponies...do this to his best friend?” Starlight thought.

         She tried choking back some more tears that came. It hurt to hold back tears. It felt like a pain in her throat and chest that she could not bare. She felt the sides of her head hurting, and drying up tears on her cheeks. She rarely cried--in fact, she almost forgot how it felt to cry--and she remembered that she despised this feeling more than anything else.

       Starlight tried holding some more tears back--but instead more tears came. She simply just gave up trying to hold them back. It felt much better just to cry it out.

         Eventually, Starlight arose from her tear-soaked pillow. She wiped her last tears from her eyes, and took a deep breath. She wanted to keep crying, she really did, but her eyes were out of tears to give. It made her chest hurt.

         Starlight silently hopped off of her bed and slowly walked over to her dresser.

          She looked into the mirror that she always kept on it. All she saw was her own face...except her pigtails were drooping down, and her eyes were red from crying. Starlight sniffed. It still looked like herself. The only problem was...

           ...she didn’t feel like herself.

            The next morning, Starlight stood outside of her house, waiting for Sunburst. It was her habit. Every morning, she would get ready for school, and simply wait right outside her door for her best friend. Then, they would walk to school together, play together, learn spells together, and tell each other their problems.

              That was the great thing about friends. They cared for you. You could comfortably talk to them all you wanted, without the fear of them giving you the ‘I don’t care’ look.

               After waiting outside her door for thirty minutes, Starlight grumbled.

                “Ugh, why is he so late?” she exclaimed.

                Then she remembered.

                 His parents sent him to Canterlot. Without even saying goodbye, or even smile at her since that day...he just left her.

                 Starlight closed her eyes and let the tears come. She sniffled, then started making her way towards school.

   “Starlight Glimmer, why don’t you have a partner?”

                  Starlight looked up at her teacher. She tried narrowing her eyes to hide that she has been crying instead of finding a partner and doing work with them.

                 Her teacher patiently waited for a response.

                “Um... Starlight simply said.

                Her teacher raised an eyebrow. “Well, if you are not going to tell me, then find one fast or do the work on your own...and stop pretending to cry!” then she walked away to help a pair of colts.

                Starlight sank into her chair.

                "She thought I was pretending...?” she thought.

                That meant that no one cared. Not even an adult. Starlight tried to hold it back, but this caused more tears to come flowing down.

                 “Jerk...” she muttered a little louder then she meant to.

                Starlight could feel her teacher turn back to her. “Excuse me?” she said loud, so everyone could hear.

    Starlight looked around at all of the eyes darting to her exact spot. Everyone had the look that they give you when you get in trouble at school. Starlight blushed in embarrassment and sunk down onto her desk, trying to hide from all of the eyes.

   Her teacher stomped over. “What did you say, Starlight Shimmer Glimmer?"

Starlight flinched at the mention of her middle name. When an adult calls you by your middle name, that means you are in a lot of trouble.

           “I...um...” Starlight mumbled.

           “What?” her teacher prompted. “What did you say?”

           “I called you a jerk!” Starlight Glimmer blurted out.

           Everypony in the room gasped. No one calls their teacher that. It meant serious trouble for the pony that says it.

           The teacher widened her eyes. She closed her teeth together--the worst way to hide your anger. “Well...think you for...being honest.” she said with grinding teeth. Soon, everypony turned back to their partners and their work.

            “There is a new student coming later today. You will be her partner.” The teacher informed.

           Starlight just simply nodded.

         The new student came after recess. Starlight introduced herself, and said that they had to be partners. The new student just smiled. “We are going to be best friends!” she said in her sweet, toddler-like voice.

        Starlight froze at the mention of ‘best friends.’ All she did was nod; choke back tears; and then ran away from the new student. Did she even ever get her name?

       It was time for the students to get to work with their partners.

       The new student hopped over to Starlight.

        “So...Starlight...I heard you are good at math...” she said.

       Starlight just stared at her and nodded.

       “Oh...um...I don’t think you ever got my name...” she said out of no where.

       Starlight widened her eyes. “You just read my mind...” she mumbled, emotionless.

        Her partner giggled. “Well, yeah...oh, my name is Sugar Belle!”

      Starlight nodded. “Cute name.”

      “Thanks!”

     “No problem.”

     Starlight turned to her math problems. She knew the answers...she knew she did! But she couldn’t think without Sunburst popping into her mind. She blinked back some tears.

      Sugar Belle noticed. “Are you okay?”

      Starlight looked back at her partner. Did she...care?

      Without thinking, Starlight fell her face into Sugar Belle and started sobbing very quietly.

      Sugar Belle gasped. “Y-you are not okay, are you? Are you bullied by ponies for being a blank flank? If you are, I totally understand, I mean, I am a blank flank...”

      Starlight barely choked out a “no” before she continued doing her silent sobbing.

       But then she looked up at Sugar Belle with big puffy eyes. “You actually noticed that I am a blank flank? And that I am sad?”

       “Well...um...” Sugar whispered. She carefully pushed Starlight up off of her. “It’s kind of obvious...does nopony else care?”

       Starlight looked at her face. “No. Nopony cares. Well, at least no one is showing it.”

        Sugar Belle smiled. “It will be okay! Hey, we can be buddies!”

       Starlight managed to smile for the first time in what felt like years.

      Starlight Glimmer and Sugar Belle did everything with each other. In fact, Sugar Belle felt like a girl version of Sunburst. It felt good to have a friend back.

       Until it happened again.

       Sugar Belle was baking for Starlight when she was over at Sugar’s house.

       Then, it happened. Starlight looked at Sugar’s huge smile from ear to ear. Sugar Belle pointed to her flank, and then Starlight saw it.

       Right there, she could see a cupcake with a cherry on it.

       Sugar Belle got her cutie mark.

       Starlight gasped and looked to her own flank. It was still blank.

       “Isn’t it great...I just baked you a cupcake, whispered to myself how fun it is to bake for a friend, and then it appeared!” Sugar exclaimed.

       “Right...great.” Starlight mumbled.

       Sugar noticed Starlight’s emotionless stare.

       “Cheer up! Maybe you will get your cutie mark in mane styling...I mean, your pigtails are still the cutest things ever!”

      Starlight got up out of her chair. “R-right.”

      Starlight went home as soon as possible. Would it happen again? Would she not even talk to her anymore and just leave her?

      No. Sugar Belle would never do that.

      Little did Starlight know that it would happen a month later.

      Everypony loved Sugar Belle now. She used to be ’the giggly baker that sounds like a toddler.’ But now she is the ‘greatest baker the school has ever seen.’

      Then, it happened.

       Sugar Belle left for Manehattan to help her grandparents with their restaurant.

       And she didn’t even say goodbye.

      Starlight was back to where she started after Sunbeam left. She cried herself to sleep in loneliness. She barely got her work done. And most of all, no one seemed to care.

                               -TO BE CONTINUED-