Good Thing She's So Disorganized
Good Thing She's So Disorganized
by Present Perfect
An extradimensional space filled with doors all reading "NI"? Not the greatest gag I've ever seen, but it does have a certain charm. Or it did, anyway, for about four-and-a-third minutes. Ha ha. Very funny! Joke's over. I am ready to go home now.
Yes, I've tried opening them. You can't go out through in doors, that's the whole point! Snapping the old eagle talon hasn't helped much, either. I can barely conjure rats made from gravy whisks, let alone whisk myself away from here to somewhere more... interesting.
Or perhaps just less flat, drab and grey. I had far better fever-dreams than this while locked for a millennium in stone. The least they could have done was given me complimentary peanuts! When I get out of here, I shall leave a very cross review for the management!
All right, Discord, settle down. Were you anyone else, you would likely be panicking at this point, but you are the Lord of Chaos. Worry? Occasionally. Suffer anxiety? Once in a great while, perhaps, maybe. But you do not panic. Nor are you afraid of being trapped forever in this insufferable pit of despair. Now is merely the time for swift, decisive action.
And who better for decisive action than my dear pony friends? Let's think about this. What would Twilight Sparkle do?
Hmm. Probably look for a book or something. No, I can't make one of those either. I wonder if I could... ah-ha, there we are! I may not be able to create, but I can summon! And the title of the herald of my salvation is...
101 Advanced Sewing Techniques by Stitched Piece. Wonderful. A treatise more non-apropos to my predicament could not have been penned by mortal pony.
At least the flavor's all right.
Twilight is a thinking pony anyway. Now Rainbow Dash, a pony of action, how would she handle getting out of this place?
Who am I kidding? She would make the classic blunder of pulling on push-only doors. But as I already know, they're in doors. I only tested once to make sure.
Applejack wouldn't be any help, either. No apples in sight, and extradimensional glass isn't exactly known for its "buckability". Fluttershy would cry. Rarity would whine. Pinkie Pie...
I believe it is indicative of my current state of mind that I cannot even start to envision what she might do.
All right, enough with ponies, what else can I summon? There has to be something helpful out there. A sewing needle? Useful, if lockpicking were a skill all-powerful chaos spirits needed to cultivate. Let's try again. Scissors? Only if I feel the overwhelming need to trim my claws. A bolt of cloth? Cerulean was never my shade. Thread? All right, this is getting ridiculous. I'm sensing a pattern here, and I don't mean a sewing pattern!
I mean... It is a sewing pattern. A pattern of sewing, but not a...
No, there's one, a sewing template, right there in my paw. Ha ha, what a funny joke, right? Hilarious! It's so funny, I could just scream and bang my head against the wall!
For being so boring, these walls are awfully hard.
Okay, keep it together, Discord. Keep it together! You have experienced far, far worse than this in your long, long existence spent mostly turned to stone. This is not going to get to you. All you have to do is think. Think like Fluttershy. Or was that Rainbow Dash? One of those blasted ponies is good at thinking, aren't they? Am I?
Think, think, think! Summons, magic, chaos, in doors indoors! Simple contradictions, sewing patterns, patterns of sewing, it's not making any sense! But what fun is there in making sense? None, that's what! And this isn't making any fun! If everything's a contradiction, how can I even be here? There's no out, only in. I must become the in if I'm going to get out!
Let me in, let me in, let me out!
Help! Somepony, help!
These horribly grey walls are closing in!
Help me! Please.
Everything tastes like...
Fabric...
The bell over the Boutique door chimed.
"Rarity, have you seen Discord?"
Rarity turned, giving Fluttershy a warm smile.
"Why of course, dear. He came by this morning, saying something about wanting to explore my interests." She flipped her mane. "It was a mite odd, I'll admit, but the request seemed to have been made in the spirit of friendship. So I took him up on it and showed him my inspiration room. I thought he might appreciate the chaos that tends to happen there." She laughed. "He must have been absolutely taken by it, as he's been quiet ever since."
She cleared her throat, noticing Fluttershy's eyes widening in what might have been fear. "You know, now that I think of it, he is perhaps a bit too quiet. It is... the kind of quiet that signals my Sweetie Belle senses. You don't think--"
"Oh no."
The panicked whisper barely out of her mouth, Fluttershy zoomed up the stairs with speed that would have done Rainbow Dash proud. Bewildered, Rarity could only follow.
By the time Rarity had reached the top of the stairs, Fluttershy had already emerged from the inspiration room, dragging a half-comatose Discord behind her. His eyes were rolled back in his head, he shivered with every breath, and he babbled something about fishes and cream.
"There, there," Fluttershy cooed, "it's all right. We'll get you back to my house and sit you down with some warm milk and the parrots." She smiled at Rarity. "Listening to them talk soothes him."
"Whatever happened to him?" So stunned was Rarity by the draconequus's state that she could only watch, open-mouthed as Fluttershy dragged him down the steps like a wet dishrag.
Fluttershy was silent a moment before popping her head up over Discord's body to level a serious look at Rarity.
"I don't blame you, Rarity, but you really should be more careful. After all, you always say your inspiration room is organized chaos."
And there was nothing Rarity could say to that.
Author's Note
In case you missed the reference, this was inspired by a line from Sisterhooves Social, after Sweetie so helpfully cleans up Rarity's inspiration room. Yes, it's such an old idea that it had a note about being more viable after Keep Calm and Flutter On!
Nothing much else to say about this one, save to thank horizon, Majin Syeekoh, totallynotabrony and Themaskedferret for feedback, and FanOfMostEverything and destinysWalrus for supporting this story. You can leave a comment here and vote on my (theoretically) next fic too!
