To Razz a Berry

Silver Script fidgeted in his seat. He adjusted and readjusted his bowtie. He also checked his briefcase several times to see that everything was in place and he wasn't missing anything. This was his first case outside of Ponyville. He wasn't familiar with the judge or the district attorney. He had no idea what to expect.

Next to him, Fizzy fumbled around with the cuffs on his legs.

“Is this really necessary?” he asked. “If it was just one pair, it’d be okay, but do I really need one on my back legs?”

“It's for safety,” Silver answered. “Just in case I botch the case, you will have something to fall back on.”

“What?”

“The Judge-” Silver put a hoof on his mouth to stop the giggling.

Fizzy glared at him, confused.

Silver whispered in his ear, “she's into bondage.”

Fizzy shoved him playfully and shook his head, grinning wildly.

Silver couldn't stop chuckling, not even when he wanted to stop. He tried drinking water, but ended up choking on it.

Fizzy then couldn't resist and joined him. “I hate you,” he mumbled.

The sheriff called for everyone to stand up for the Judge. The Judge noticed Silver grimacing.

“Is something wrong, Mr. Script?” she inquired.

“N-no, your honor. Nothing’s hard-wrong! Nothing is wrong your honor!”

She eyed him skeptically and sat down. Everyone else followed suit.

Silver wanted to kill himself, desperately. He made the mistake of thinking he wasn't going to laugh again, so when Fizzy went into a fit of stifled laughter, he wasn't prepared. He alerted everypony with what sounded like a yelp which he cut off with both his hooves.

“Mr. Script,” the Judge scolded. “Do you need to be excused?”

Silver bit his tongue hard enough to hurt. “No, your honor. I can handle myself.”

Fizzy squeaked beneath his calm demeanor. Okay, now he was going to kill Fizzy when he won the case.

Silver sunk unto his seat and only half heard what the Judge was saying. His first case outside of Ponyville and he had made a fool of himself before it even started.

After the Judge explained the case, she let the district attorney start with his first witness. Silver had decided it was best to have a bench trial since a jury would consist of citizens of Dodge Junction which probably would be predisposed against Fizzy and he wouldn't get a fair trial. The Judge and Fizzy also agreed.

The district attorney called Kirschwasser to the stand. That was odd. Silver knew he was going to be called to testify, but the district attorney had suggested he would call Berry first. What was he doing?

As Kirschwasser took the oath, Silver arranged the contents of his briefcase on the table and started jotting down notes.

“Please state your name and relation to the defendant for the record,” the district attorney said.

“Kirschwasser. Father.”

“Is that your full name?”

Yes, sir.”

“Lovely weather we've been having?”

“Yeah. Harvest day was a few days ago, so the cloud cover has certainly helped when working in the orchard.”

“Let's get down to business, then.” He snatched a paper from his table and hoofed to Kirschwasser. “This, Exhibit A, is a copy of the defendant’s marriage certificate. Acknowledging the marriage between your son, Cherry Fizzy, and your daughter, Cherry Berry. Have you ever seen this parchment before today?”

“No, sir. I haven't.”

The district attorney took the copy and gave it to the Judge. “Were you aware of its existence before today?”

“No, sir.”

“What day did you discover that the defendant was married to your daughter?”

“On Harvest day, just last thursday, sir.”

“So you did not know they were married before thursday?”

“Can you recall any time, before Thursday, that there might have been anything that suggested they were married?”

“...No, sir. I can't.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kirschwasser. No more questions.”

The district attorney sat back down on his seat and grinned at Silver. He raised an eyebrow. He had no idea what that meant, yet it made Silver a little irritated. He got up and strolled over to the witness stand.

“Hello, Mr. Kirschwasser,” Silver greeted. “Silver Script.”

They shook hooves.

“Pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Script.”

“The pleasure’s all mine. Now...you've known the defendant since he was born, right?”

“Yes, sir”

“Would you say you know him very well, in terms of personality and such?”

“Yes, I would.”

“Describe to us what he was like as a foal.”

“Well, as a foal, Fizzy was like any other foal. He was healthy and got along with other foals.”

“So he didn't exhibit any kind of mental illness of any kind?”

“No, sir, not any that I could tell.”

“And what about his judgment? When he was growing up, did he show any kind of inability to choose correctly, or decipher right from wrong?”

“No, sir. He treated all ponies with respect and kindness, just how I taught him.”

“Did he ever cause trouble for anypony?”

“Nope. His teachers didn't like him since he’s a goofball, but he's never caused any trouble.”

“Was he ever hostile to anypony?”

“No, sir. He wasn't very fond of his stepmother, but I assumed it was because he’d never met his birth mother.”

“How did he treat his sister, Cherry Berry?”

“Very well. She was his best friend since she was born and was always very protective of her.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kirschwasser. No more questions questions.”

The sheriff led Berry to the courtroom. She hoped the case was going well. She avoided looking at anypony and headed straight for the witness stand, but she turned and found herself staring at Cherry Jubilee. Berry looked away, not wanting to see those judgmental eyes she knew so well. She took the oath and sat down. She looked at Fizzy who smiled back, but she knew he was hiding his worry. Silver was next to him, but he was focused on his notes, clearly stressed out. He took a deep breath before standing up and making his way to her. He cleared his throat.

“State your name for the record, and your relation to the defendant.”

“Berryshine. First cousin.”

“Were you present during the marriage of Cherry Berry and the defendant?”

“Yes, I was a witness.”

“Let the record show that Exhibit A confirms that Berryshine was indeed the witness for the defendant’s marriage.”

“So noted,” the Judge replied.

“Ms. Berryshine,” Silver addressed her. “The week of the marriage, where did you, Cherry Berry, Cherry Fizzy stay?”

Silver didn't sound like himself. Berry had spoken with him once after they initially met. He was easy-going and she had warmed up to him real quick. Partly due to his bluntness. Cherry Orchard rarely talked as freely as him. Even Silver’s smile would always earnestly say what he felt. You could consider him an open book, saying and doing exactly who he was and how he felt. He was also charming. His firm jaw line, his expertly styled mane, perfect-length coat, toned muscles, silvery-blue eyes...sweet Celestia, his eyes. They always shined brightly in the light-

“Ms. Berryshine?”

Berry snapped out of her daze and was met by a tired and anxious Silver. “Oh, sorry. We, uh...stayed at a local inn.” She had to say something to ease him. She didn't like him being stressed and he probably didn't either.

“Let the record reflect Exhibit D as the sign-in log for the inn that Cherry Berry, Berryshine, and the defendant slept in.” Silver hoofed the Judge the corresponding paper.

“So noted.”

When Silver returned to Berry, she said, “your bowtie is crooked,” and leaned over to readjust it. Then she brushed the hair out of his eyes. She smiled, trying hard to say: everything’s alright. Silver turned red, but grinned back. She recognized it.

“Thank you, Berry.”

The district attorney finished his closing statement, grinned at Silver and sat down. He hated that stupid grin. That smug little grin that so easily got under his skin. He just wanted to rip that damn thing off-rrgh! Silver forced the thought away.

He took a deep breath and stood up. An idea popped into his head. He smirked. He approached the Judge.

“Your honor,”-he turned to the crowd that had watched the entire case, “-good people of Dodge Junction, I stand here today representing an kind, hardworking, and honest stallion. He has only ever thought of others before himself. It is evident that he truly loves and respects his wife and two foals. The prosecution failed to prove that he had committed incest in Dodge Junction. It was proven that the defendant married and made love to his wife outside of this town, and in cities where it was legal to. He purposefully omitted this information from you to protect his wife and foals. He withheld from you so he could be there for his wife and foals as a nuclear family. A family which he never had as a foal.”

The was the best statement he had ever done, and most of it was improvised. Was he cocky? Yes. Did he nail it? Hell yeah. Silver wanted to yell at the district attorney and tell him to suck on it, but controlled himself.