
Put it in the Toaster
Toaster loved her job as a Canterlot prostitute. Until the day she was fired for gross incompetence. Apparently, a prostitute who spends three years working but still remains a virgin isn’t exactly hooker material.
Seeking to reestablish herself, Toaster relocates to a small and obscure town in the middle of nowhere called Ponyville. She promptly moves into the crawlspace of a hand-obsessed engineer next to a house owned by a pair of ambiguously incestuous twins. She immediately begins to perform her new job in accordance with her special talent, even while being pursued by a persistent pink prude.
Soon after starting, though, Toaster soon discovers that getting money for sex is difficult when your magic incinerates anything it touches and you are born with a hideous color scheme. Apparently, the old statement is true: nobody wants to put it in a toaster.
Now with 50% more bad editing, obscure heavy metal references, and confusing self-referential jokes! And I don’t even know what universe it takes place in!
WARNING: Look at those tags. One of them says “sex”. This is a sex comedy. As in, it is full of all kinds of sex jokes. Weiner jokes, incest jokes, I think there’s even a bestiality joke in there. It is rated “Mature”, but I assure you, it is quite immature and possibly offensive. But I suppose that is the point.





22 Chapters:
- Chapter 1: Don't Worry, I'm a Professional 2016-04-16 02:39:04 UTC2253
- Chapter 2: In the Office of Tip Tickler 2016-04-16 02:40:30 UTC3579
- Chapter 3: Coming to Town 2016-04-16 02:42:11 UTC2467
- Chapter 4: Raiding Lyra’s Fridge 2016-04-16 02:43:34 UTC1319
- Chapter 5: Apple Juice 2016-04-16 02:46:09 UTC4028
- Chapter 6: First Day, First Failure 2016-04-16 02:48:07 UTC1448
- Chapter 7: Toast in the Town 2016-04-23 01:25:40 UTC6376
- Chapter 8: To Catch the Dash 2016-04-23 01:31:00 UTC3466
- Chapter 9: Pinkie is the Villain in this Story 2016-04-23 01:32:00 UTC2514
- Chapter 10: There is a Dog in this Chapter 2016-05-02 01:09:51 UTC2977
- Chapter 11: Flutterbutter 2016-05-02 01:11:50 UTC3739
- Chapter 12: Unfunny Chapter that Drives the Plot 2016-05-02 01:14:12 UTC7786
- Chapter 13: The Ivory Tower 2016-05-02 01:15:23 UTC2930
- Chapter 14: Sad Toast 2016-05-02 01:16:17 UTC3697
- Chapter 15: Dancy Dancy Sexy Time 2016-05-14 22:02:26 UTC3462
- Chapter 16: Finishing the Job 2016-05-14 22:04:31 UTC5767
- Chapter 17: Making Cupcakes 2016-05-14 22:06:12 UTC1755
- Chapter 18: Serving the Bread 2016-05-14 22:12:29 UTC8982
- Chapter 19: Generally Crusty 2016-05-14 22:15:38 UTC6040
- Chapter 20: Punishing the Bad Pony 2016-05-14 22:17:26 UTC2216
- Chapter 21: I Coudn't Think of A Good Ending, so This is What You Get 2016-05-14 22:23:17 UTC13282
- Chapter 22, Epilogue: Yup, it’s an Epilogue 2016-05-14 22:26:15 UTC2652