I could hardly believe my ears. Had I just imagined it? I felt a glimmer of hope, one that I’d thought had died out. But maybe, just maybe…
...Beep…
“Doc! Doc!” I yelled, scrambling down from my place beside Octavia. I rushed out the door, trying to find his office. Turning a corner, I plowed straight into someone running towards me, falling back. “Ow- uh, sorry!” I got up as quickly as I could. “Oh, shoot, sorry, Doc!”
“What’s going on? Why are you-”
“No time! I think she’s still alive!”
We raced for the room, Doc Horse breathing heavily. “Listen!” I said.
Nothing happened, and he gave me a sad look. “Vinyl…”
…Beep…
“Wha-” he stuttered, then shook himself. He dashed over to her and put his ear to Octavia’s chest. He listened for a few moments, then pulled his head back and laughed happily. He reared back, shifting his weight to his back legs, and grabbed an oxygen mask that hung on a nearby machine. Strapping it on her, he pressed some buttons, and I heard the thing turn on. “Vinyl, knock on wood and pray to any gods of luck there be, because we’re going to need it.” He pulled a radio out of his pocket and pressed a button. “Doc Horse at Octavia Melody’s room, I need backup, now! A life may be saved today.”
He tossed the radio at me, and I fumbled to catch it. I set it on the nearest surface I could, then backed up into the wall as doctors and nurses galloped in, immediately setting to work. It felt so familiar, but now they were revitalized, working with renewed vigor.
………………Beep…
Please.
……………Beep…
I bowed my head. Please let it work this time.
…………Beep…
I prayed, watching, listening.
………Beep…
My eyes filled with tears as I felt my hope rising, not caring if I was tempting fate.
……Beep…
One of the docs stepped back, clapping me on the shoulder with a smile on his face. “I think we’ve done it.”
…..Beep…
I hopped around happily, not caring who saw me. I was in my own little world.
….Beep…
The little ray of light in me was now like a rising sun, illuminating every part of my heart.
…Beep…
I’d never seen Doc Horse grin so wide. He and his colleagues cheered, like they were at one of my concerts. I was ecstatic, the music in my soul was rising to a crescendo. If I could turn this moment into a song…
…Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…
…it would have the perfect beat.
* * *
I regained consciousness like one wakes from a dream. Slowly at first, and then a rush of reality as I opened my eyes.
My vision was blurry, yet not so blurry as to obstruct my vision. It seemed quite... off. Not centered properly, though this and the immense pain in my head did not matter once the beautiful white mare I called my roommate came into focus, along with a caramel-colored unicorn stallion dressed in white, whom I did not recognize.
“-Gotta be kidding me!” she said, clearly agitated.
“I’m sorry, Vinyl…” he said, “...but really, you shouldn’t be surprised,” he added in a stern tone.
“I…” Vinyl trailed off. “Buck,” she whispered.
“Profanity, Vinyl..,” I whispered.
I’d never seen Vinyl’s head whip that quickly, not even while.. What was it called.. ‘Head-banging’ at one of her concerts. “Octy! Octavia! Oh, thank Dubstep you’re okay!”
“Dubstep? I’m not sure how a genre of music pertains to..” I attempted to raise my hoof to my head in exasperation, but found myself wincing from pain at the attempt, bringing clarity to the situation at hoof. “... Anyway, would somepony care to explain to me what in Equestria happened?”
Vinyl looked down at the floor, clearly out of shame. The other stallion, a doctor, I assumed, nudged her with a hoof. “Okay, okay, I just… needed a second.” She sighed, then looked guiltily into my eyes. “First things first… I kind of lied to you about something, Octy.”
“Lied? Why would you feel the need to lie to me about something?”
Vinyl scratched at the floor absently. “Well… I didn’t want you to know.” She whopped herself in the forehead. “O-kay, that sounded obvious, even to me. I… didn’t want you to see me like… like I really was.” Her head drooped a bit more, averting her eyes.
“Octy… do you remember, years ago, when there was an invasion? When everypony eighteen or older got shipped off to fight?”
“Of course I do. My high school’s orchestra played at a memorial concert for the war, and we were required to study the history of it. I remember you were.. Ah, yes, you were in (something), doing (something).”
“About that… Octy, I’m not twenty-seven. I’m actually... twenty-nine.”
“Vinyl, that’s fine. I mean, it’s only two years you lied about, nothing very- Wait.. That means…”
She nodded, that electric-blue mane bobbing slightly. “Yup… I was 18.” she laughed bitterly. “I actually turned 18 only a few days before they implemented the draft, and I got shipped off. Some birthday party, huh?” I thought I saw a tear fall, but she turned her face away before I could be sure. “I went off to fight. First place I went was boot camp, where I learned-” she made a choked noise I realized was a sob. “-Where I learned how to kill. I learned brutal tactics against Earth ponies, Pegasi, and other Unicorns, tactics designed to destroy your enemy before they could touch you… I learned how to snap horns and rip off wings with my bare hooves… I-I knew every pressure point, every way to make somepony scream until they-”
The doctor put a hoof over her mouth. “Vinyl, stop. Take a breath.”
Vinyl nodded listlessly. “Okay… Sorry, Tavi. Doc, can you…?”
“Yes, I can. Go rest.” She moved to the corner of the room, curling up and going still. The doctor shook his head with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Miss Melody, I don’t believe I’ve introduced myself. My name is Doctor Horse, though you can just call me Doc Horse, or Doc.”
“It’s nice to meet you. I’d shake your hoof, but, well…”
A small smile crossed his face for a moment. “Another time, maybe. Now, I did not witness Vinyl’s experiences first-hoof, but she told me of them extensively when I helped her cope with her post-traumatic stress.”
“I.. I never knew she had PTSD…”
“Vinyl had some… particularly hard moments during the war-”
“Don’t you dare,” Vinyl mumbled from the other side of the room.
Doc Horse gave her a mildly annoyed look. “As I was saying, Vinyl had some particularly hard moments during the war that I will allow her to tell you in her own time,” he emphasized, making sure Vinyl had heard him. “As the medic for her particular troop, she looked for my help first when she began to have some… uncommon after-effects. “Which I will also let her tell you when she’s ready.”
Vinyl’s muffled “Thanks,” answered him.
I glanced at her and saw that she had found a blanket, and apparently proceeded to cocoon herself in it.
The doctor shook his head. “Moving on. Due to those hard moments, Vinyl developed a bit of a dependency on alcohol.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, believe me, I know all about that. I occasionally have to go drag her out of the bar.”
I remembered the last time I had to go remove her...
I glance at a clock. Vinyl must be drunk again… I’d really rather not, but I suppose I must get her.
“Yes, I had to do the same while Vinyl stayed with me.” He lowered his head. “Mr. Scratch unfortunately did not make it out of the war.”
Trotting down the dark street… there’s Vinyl. Obviously drunk.
“Being a single father, he had little for her to inherit. I provided her room and board.”
She’s ____ (wavering?) all over the place, goodness.. I’m running.. Must help..
“Which,” he directed his voice at the blanketed bundle in the corner, “was quite kind of me considering her tendency to slip away to the bar every few nights.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond, my mind was slowly processing the memories filtering back.
“...Octy, are you okay?” I looked up to see Vinyl, still wrapped in her blanket, was standing by Doc Horse and giving me a worried look.
“Yes.. I admit I am starting to recollect what happened.. I remember you didn’t come home, and it was very late. I figured that you had been drinking at the bar, and I went to go see if you needed help getting home. I was walking down the street when I saw you. You were drunk, I could tell from your posture while walking and your abnormal expression. I was worried, very worried.. I started running over to assist you, and.. Well, something must have happ-”
All at once, my memories slid into place. Everything, the flash of magic, pain, not being able to move, even more pain…
“You,” I whispered to Vinyl. “I’m here because of you. Y-you did this to me..”
“O-octy, I-”
“Oh, Celestia… Why? What did I do to deserve this?”
My vision blurred even further as tears slid down my muzzle and into my mane as I stared at her. She had a frightened expression on her face, backing up as if I was the dangerous one.
“You-Vinyl, you were trying to kill me! You-”
“Octavia, no, wait-” Vinyl interrupted, her voice straining with panic.
“Stop. Just stop and bucking listen to what I have to say for once in your life!”
“Both of you, calm down, please! Miss Octavia, Vinyl is vulnerable right now, she does not need this hostility!”
“No. I’ve put up with a lot of her stuff, but I’m not going to put up with her hiding behind you like a little foal! Listen, Vinyl,” I turned my attention to her. “I want to understand, and I’m trying so hard to understand, but you’re not making it easy by not telling me the truth, hiding behind Doc Horse and the name PTSD to explain! Tell me the truth, Vinyl. Tell me exactly what you were thinking when you attacked me. I deserve that at least.”
* * *
I tried to calm down, to speak rationally, but I couldn’t. The pressure, the worry, it was all coming in on me at once, I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t do anything, I was helpless, so helpless…
I shook my head, and pushed out the words. “I-I had an episode!”
Octavia looked steadily at me. I cringed, waiting for her to let me have it, to tell me that she never wanted to talk to me again.
“...Explain.”
I was shocked. I thought she’d shut me down, but… Maybe I had a chance to fix this. I took a deep breath.
“SometimesIhaveepisodeswhereIseethingsfromthewarandI-”
“Vinyl! Vinyl, slow down,” she said. “Calm down. Say it slowly.”
I nodded, trying to make my mind relax. “Sometimes, ...usually after drinking a lot more than normal… I have… episodes. Hallucinations. I see things from the war, but there’s… there’s one scene that I see most, and it…” I sniffed as a few tears made their way down my cheek. “What I see is when I was in enemy territory with the rest of my battalion. We were all scattered around, and we had to be careful because the enemy could come from any direction.
“I-I hadn’t killed anyone yet, this was our first time in open combat. We were in the remains of a village, long since abandoned. It was dusty, the whole place was in the middle of a desert, so it was hard to see too well. My nerves were fried already, when I heard gunfire. It clipped a building I was standing a few feet away from, and I ducked behind it for cover. I aimed as best as I could at what little I could see of the figures in the clouds of dust, unloading my automatic rifle on them and hoping they wouldn’t sneak up on me while I was reloading.
“When I was done firing… the return fire had stopped. I heard over the radio that the remains of the enemy troops were all on the run. We were to pursue them, so I ran to go join my comrades.
“...I didn’t make it but a few yards before I tripped over something. The wind was picking up, so I stood back and waited for the dust to clear. And… when it did…” I choked back a sob.
“...You know how they say how terrible war is? This… was ten times worse. There were corpses on the ground, Octy, ponies that I had killed…” I could barely talk anymore from my voice straining. “They were all foals, Octy. Every single one of them.”
I had to breathe deeply several times before I could speak again. “I saw their blood on my hooves, and… to this day, I still see it. Every single day. I’ve tried to wash it off, so many times…”
I sighed, trying to keep myself from trembling. “Almost every time I have an episode… that scene is what I see. But the one I had that night, after drinking nearly… nearly twice as much as usual… something added itself to my hallucination. I saw a grey Earth pony, masked and armed like the enemy forces I fought against so long ago, and they ran at me. I reacted, and after overpowering them… I had to end them or they’d just get back up and end me. I accidentally knocked the mask off… and I saw your face.”
I closed my eyes, then grit my teeth and slammed my hoof into the wall. “I was so stupid! I should have known, should have realized it was you…” A hollow feeling inside me mixed with my anger. “I’m so… sorry. I didn’t mean to. I should have realized, buck it! I’m so sorry… so sorry…” I couldn’t take it anymore. I curled up, right there on the floor, and started sobbing.
“...You probably hate me now…” I sniffed. “And I deserve it. I should take it and say okay, but… I can’t! I can’t lose you, I...I… I love you too much, buck it! I love you!”
Looking at Vinyl sobbing, I couldn’t help but feel my heart break. Seeing how vulnerable and broken she really was despite her everyday outward sense of composure made me love her even more.
“Vinyl.. Oh Vinyl.. I’m sorry, I didn’t understand.. But.. now I think I do. You took on the burden of these memories on your own, thinking that if you shared them to me or anyone else they would treat you differently. Well, you were right. Now... I love you even more.”
Vinyl’s sobs stopped as she looked up at me. “Y-you… love me?”
“In my heart I think I always have, but… seeing you so vulnerable, worrying so much about you… I think that made me finally realize it. I know now that I don’t want you to have to face that on your own. I want to be there for you, helping you through anything you might face. We can do it together, Vinyl.”
Doc Horse looked up from the sandwich he’d made while the whole ordeal was going on. “Are you two done yet?” he asked, his mouth full.
Vinyl jumped about nine feet in the air. “Wh-Doc?! You’re still here?”
He shrugged, taking another bite. “Nopony asked me to leave.”
“You didn’t bother to give us any privacy? We were having emotional moments!”
He looked offended for two seconds, then went back to his sandwich. “I couldn’t just leave. If the emotion proved to be too much for her heart, I would be needed immediately.”
“You could have stood just outside,” I suggested.
“My chair is comfy. I chose sitting in my cushy chair over standing out in the hall.”
“You do realize that your chair has wheels, and is not stationary, right?”
“The wheels are squeaky. It would have been distracting.” He chewed twice, then swallowed. “Plus, there was nothing good on TV.” He proceeded to ignore our existence in favor of happily finishing his beloved sandwich.
Vinyl, at this point, had decided to find the nearest wall, bonking her head against it repeatedly. “I… give up,” she said, exasperated.
“Vinyl, you’re going to give yourself brain damage if you keep that up,” I commented.
“Ah, well, not losing much there.”
I chuckled. “Well, still. I’d like to enjoy your company.”
Vinyl turned, smiling. “If you insist, Octy.” She came over, then put her front hooves on the side of the bed. “Scoot over.”
I raised an eyebrow. “And how am I supposed to do that?” I looked at my bandages with as much emphasis as I could.
Doc looked up from his sandwich. “By the way, sorry, but you’ll never use your left eye again...”
“Drat. That explains why everything looks so odd.”
We spent the rest of the day chatting as I rested. Doc Horse checked my vitals, and he informed me that I was well enough to go home to rest, if I wished, but he made Vinyl promise to give him constant updates. She assured him that she had everything under control. Doc and I both gave her a skeptical look, but I think we both knew that really, Vinyl would… as long as I reminded her.
When the doc pulled in the wheelchair, I took one look at it and turned up my nose. “I wouldn’t trust that thing to get me home any more that I would trust your ‘comfy chair’ to get me five feet.”
He scratched his chin with a hoof. “Well… I guess Vinyl will have to carry you. You up for it, ‘Dee Jay Pone Three’?”
She grinned wildly.“I got this!”
“Oh, dear.”
* * *
A thought occurred to me as Vinyl carried me home. For being as excited about it as she was, she was being very careful, and was going slowly to minimize my pain. Though obviously she couldn’t completely carry me using her magic, she did try to cushion me with it. It worked quite well; it was kind of relaxing, in fact.
"By the way, Vinyl... somehow, I think I've heard your confession before... almost like a dream."
“I always knew I’d be the mare of your dreams.” She winked. I rolled my eyes, trying to hide my smile.
Vinyl chuckled. “So, after this, how ‘bout we go out for a drink?
“Vinyl!”
“Whaaaat? I’m kidding! … Maybe.”
Thank you all, so much, for suffering through this short little series. The epilogue will be out within the next few days. Everyone, give Snowflake77 a hand, the lovely girl who agreed to collaborate with me (may her sanity rest in peace).
