The First and Probably Last Chapter
Dear Princess ~~Pink Bitch~~ Mi Amore Cadenza
I hate you.
~~I hate you with all the fury of a thousand burning suns. The hate I have for you burns far stronger than that fat cow of a sun ruler’s passion for cake. It smolders in my heart with every waking moment, and the thought of your hopefully horrific and humiliating death makes me wetter than you can imagine.~~
But don’t get me wrong, it’s still so nice to talk with you, if only by letter. To be honest, I miss our old chats. Don't you remember, what with me being you and you stuck down in those caves with no food and little water for weeks. It truly was a wonderful personal time, and I feel we really bonded. Just like sisters. Which is why I was so hurt when you never even bothered to tell me you were pregnant! Why, if I hadn’t had you under constant 24/7 observation, I’d have never known at all.
I’ll admit, her birth as an Alicorn floored me. I’d always thought the whole “best of three races” thing had to be earned through some cutesy feat of friendship or love or, for the ponies that actually matter, through connections to the cosmos. So, you can imagine my surprise when you popped something with superpony strength and both the pointy bit and that ridiculous wing span out of you (By the way, how badly did she wreck you? I mean, you were probably already loose to begin with, being the Princess of Love and all, but geeze even I admit that had to be painful).
Still, my surprise probably isn’t for the reason you think. You see, Changelings have this nifty little thing known as the “Ancestral Record”. Basically, it’s the collective stored memory of all the previous changeling queens in my bloodline at my personal disposal. Normally, I don’t have all of them off the top of my head-don’t want to end up like Cousin Coco, after all, but I can and do explore them through deep mediation sessions. And, you want to know what I found, in thousands of years of Changeling memory?
Not. One. Alicorn. Birth.
Oh, not that there were many alicorns to begin with. But, of the three my ancestors encountered prior to Princess Cake and Lunatic, one did have foals, and guess what? They weren’t alicorns-a few Unicorns, a Pegasus or two and over a dozen Earth Ponies, but not a single pair of both wings and a horn on any of them (Incidentally, this Alicorn’s domain was fertility, so I’m honestly surprised she didn’t have more).
I’m sure you think I spend my days scheming revenge and ways to steal more love for my precious little lings, which, to be fair that does occupy a good chunk of my morning schedule, but I do have a more scientific, curious side and this discrepancy just couldn’t be ignored.
Fortunately, the answer was right in front of me the whole time.
Out of curiosity, did you know your husband is a stud? Like I mean, wow, a draw dropping, swooning stud if there ever was one. If herds were still a thing, mares would be ripping each other apart just to get at him. I mean, those flanks, that horn, those muscles, all on top of genetically perfect looks? Hubahuba, it’s really enough to make a mare weak in the knees. To pile it on yet further, he has a capacity for magic rarely seen in a generation, and let me tell you seeing him erect a city wide shield for days on end was enough to make me shudder in the most delightful ways.
You may be wondering where I’m going with this. First off, yes, he’s way too good for you. Sad, but true. Secondly, however, I think you need a lesson in Changeling biology.
First, all those changelings you saw in the invasion? Forget them. They’re infertile. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my precious little daughters, and fondly remember every adorable little egg but biologically they might as well be dead. But Queens and Princesses are a different matter entirely. See, in addition to being oviparous in regards to normal Changelings, we can be viviparous just like you ponies when we bear royalty, so we get to experience all the horrors and joys of motherhood (Out of curiosity, did your saliva get acidic enough to dissolve rock? I know mine did the first time). Secondly, considering the lack of males in Changeling society, we’ve got this nifty little ability to mate with males of other species, preferably equines but others are possible. More importantly, we like our chosen mates to be the best of the best, strong, powerful, handsome and so on.
If you haven’t gotten it by now, I was going to bang your husband.
Actually, now that I think about it, I’d still like to. The hate would make it a bit bitter, but all the more exciting, no?
Anyway, another little thing we Queens like to do with our chosen studmuffins, especially fine catches like Shining Armor, is regularly inject them with a bit of our venom. What, did you think our fangs were for show? Besides making them much more palatable without having to resort to hypnosis every five minutes, it changes them on the inside, modifying them to be a bit more, shall we say, compatible with their mistress. It also makes impregnation a lot easier. Not really sure how, but it begins with magic and ends with DNA. Something like that.
The whole point of this is I had taken Shining up to the final stage of this process. If my invasion had gone as planned, Shining would have given me one happy ending after another all night long while the rest of my lings and daughters celebrated their plots off with all the love they could eat and those wonderful little martinis with umbrellas. Yum.
...
Of course, that didn’t happen. Twilight found you, there was a big battle, and you blew us away with the power of love. Blah, blah, blah. But, the process was complete, and he was-still is in fact-primed and ready for any Changeling maidens or sexy queens who come his way. Kind of romantic, really: even though we were separated by Fate, a part of me will always be with him, and, by extension, you.
Then he pumped a baby in you and out popped an Alicorn.
While the Ancestral Record doesn’t say a whole lot about our chosen mates’ lives outside the hive, I do know a few stallions who somehow escaped and went on to parenthood typically had normal pony foals, but the changeling nature did show up a bit, usually in special talents related to illusion. But none of them had ever been with an Alicorn. So, it’s easy to conclude your nature as an Alicorn, combined with my improvements on Shining’s DNA, led to that abomination you call a daughter.
Now, I’m sure you’re wondering what the point of this letter was, and what my true goal is here. Well, it’s simple really.
Technically, we’re related now. You, me, Studmuffin, and Flurry Heart are all one big happy family now. Isn't that fun?
Hard to say what, exactly, Flurry Heart is to me, though. Guess the closest pony term you have for her would be that she can be considered my niece. Kind of nice really. I never thought I’d get be an aunt, considering my sisters thought murder was a good solution to the succession crisis.
Now that I think about it, as an aunt, I’ll have to pay her a visit sometime. I think I’ll let it be a surprise: ponies love surprises, right?
Sorry, I went a bit scatterbrained there. Bit of a symptom of malnutrition, you see, what with how thoroughly you obliterated the Hive’s hopes and dreams. Let's not forget the changelings-my precious, beloved daughters- who were indoors when your little spell went off and are never going to have any hopes or dreams ever ever again. But I try not to let that bother me or else I'd be consumed with unholy rage every second of every waking day.
That'd just be unhealthy, wouldn't you agree?
Anyway, I just thought I’d let you know all this,you know get it all out of my system, like any good sister would.
Sleep well.
Your dearest sister in all but blood,
High Queen Chrysalis
P.S. Hey, do you think I can be the cool aunt while you be the miserable old hag who never lets Flurry Heart have any fun and dies of food poisoning half way into the act so the true heroine can be with her love interest Studmuffin and adopt Flurry Heart as a daughter? Not asking for major commitment right now, but it’s just a thought.
Oh, and if you're wondering how this letter got on your nightstand, don't worry too much. By the time you've finished reading this, the changeling who left it is long gone. The maid she impersonated will probably wander back into the Crystal Empire after awhile. Or not. These Crystal Ponies honestly aren't all that bright.
Author's Note
Well, that happened.
Originally started writing this shortly after the Crystalling. Decided that version with Twilight learning a completely different fact about Flurry Heart was crap, changed settings with another new character-a doctor and a nurse, decided that was crap, and then somehow Chrysalis showed up with this friendly little letter. I honestly don't know if everything in it is a lie or she's telling the absolute truth.
Not really sure if I got Chrysalis personality quite right down right here, but there's a lot of interpretation open in her character considering her limited appearance in the series, so I'm tentatively hopeful. Was a lot of fun to write though.
As always any feedback and constructive criticism is welcome. They're the only way I'll ever learn from my own mistakes and grow as a writer, after all. Flames will be used to roast delicious marshmallows.
I Lied
Dear Cady
I...
I...
I...Oh! I'm sorry about that. I'm using a spell to translate speech to text, so if it sounds like the letter is rambling, that's because it probably is. I...I don't think I could go through with this if I tried writing it all out personally.
I'm writing this because something's come up, and I don't know if I'll be able to return or how it will turn out or-
Sorry. It's hard to keep my thoughts composed with everything that's come up, especially considering what I want-no need to tell you.
Well, if you're reading this, then all is not going to as smoothly as I had hoped. I'm terribly sorry you had to wake up alone and that I left without a word, but I have no choice.
You know, it's kind of funny. For months now, I've been trying to bring this up with you, over dinner, during our time alone, but something always came up and then Flurry Heart was born and that's been an adventure in and of itself. Now...
I'm afraid. I don't know how you're going to react to this, but Fate has forced my hoof, and I hate doing this by a note of all things but I'm afraid I won't get another chance to tell you if I don't take it now.
Just know...I love you and Flurry more than anything else in the world. Please don't forget that.
(Sigh)
There's no good way to say this, is there? Heh. If there was, I wouldn't have waited this long.
Well, here goes...
Wait! Cady, for the love of all that is holy before reading any further, please get a cup or two of that calming Chamomile tea you like so much, and please make sure you're sitting down. I don't want you to hurt yourself.
There, now isn't that nice? Feeling calm and steady, with that adorable little smile you have with every sip?
Okay. Good. Here goes.
Cady...I'm not the stallion you think I am. Okay, well in a way I am and I am not and-sorry, going off track.
I'm not really Shining Armor. I'm actually Queen Chrysalis.
If you're still reading this, then no. You're not hallucinating and you did read that right. I actually am Queen Chrysalis.
I'm sure you're wondering how this came about, so sit back, keep reading, and for the love of Harmony drink more of that tea.
Back during the months leading up the Changeling invasion, things went about as expected. I kidnapped you (and I feel really bad about that now, so please forgive me), and hypnotized Shining. Well, this is where it gets...awkward.
You see, a few days before Twilight showed up, I had a bit too much wine that evening, I realized I hadn't gotten laid in far too long, Shining Armor was just there, all studly and so eager to obey every order no matter how sensual it might become, and to top it all off I thought he might appreciate a sneak peak at the wedding night before the invasion. So, I sneaked into his room that night and...
I killed him.
I swear I didn't mean to! It's just, with him being the captain of the guard and in remarkable shape, I just thought he might be able to take a bit more punishment than normal, but I miscalculated how unprepared he was for such advanced techniques-seriously, it wasn't anywhere near as kinky as we get and he kind of sort of had a massive heat attack and died. Granted, he had this hilarious dopey smile on his face, but...still dead.
And then I heard the door to his quarters start to open, and I might have sort of completely freaked out.
Panicked, I had what would turn out to be one of the least thought out decisions of my life.
I impersonated Shining Armor.
In retrospect, it was brilliant, but at the time I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. By impersonating Shining and later on having one of my daughters impersonate me (Oh boy, Euphoria just lived that up-she was a horrible actor, but she had the time of her life hamming up that performance), I diverted a lot of attention from myself and inadvertently saved myself from the Love Wave and possibly my entire Hive-more on that later. Anyway, the nosy maid walked in, saw me standing there disguised as Shining, a very unconscious and rapidly dying Shining slowly falling off of me with a wet "squelch", and calmly walked out.
I still have no idea who that maid actually was, or why she didn't report this to Celestia. Still, worked out for me.
The rest of the story plays out like you remember it: my daughter disguised as me continued to act like she was controlling me while being an utter bitch to everyone around her (I have no idea where she gets it from), Twilight eventually found you, and through the power of love, you repelled the entire invasion, and then we had our wedding, a delightful party, and afterward the best sixteen sweaty hours of our life.
(By the way, with your stamina, Shining didn't really have long to live anyway-Oh. Sorry. Not the point.)
Now, I'm sure you have a few questions as to how this all worked out, so let me answer them.
First off, the wave of love that threw the Changelings out of Canterlot? Apparently, it's target specific, and in this case, it targeted Changelings, but did not target the fiance of the bride even if she was secretly a Changeling Queen. Also, I know you like to think all of that was the fruit of our love, but...no. It was all you. You're the Alicorn of Love for a reason, after all. I just added some glowing lights to match yours as you cast the spell.
Secondly, I'm sure you're wondering how I impersonated Shining based on my daughter's ridiculous performance. Well, the answer to this is simple: my daughter is an absolutely terrible actor and I'm a magnificent one. We, that is my Hive, had composed extremely detailed dossiers on every pony in the palace, and I personally memorized every facet of ponies of interest and importance' history and personality, quirks, and so on, and Shining was definitely on that list.
So, yeah, I will fully admit I winged it at first with constant fear I would slip up and be discovered, but as I said, I'm a great actor, and besides, it gradually become more and more natural to the point I didn't have to try anymore.
Third, your spell that effortlessly pushed my entire hive out of Canterlot was the single sexiest thing I have ever seen in my entire life, and the only thing that stopped me from jumping you was the fact that Shining was never known to be turned on by displays of raw power. Weird, huh?
By the way, Changelings are technically hermaphroditic even if our default form is female. This comes into play when we fully assume the gender of whatever we're impersonating, so if you're wondering about that...yeah. Oh, and Flurry Heart being an Alicorn is probably a result of me being a Queen but using my magic to assume a pony form on top of my power coming together with yours to produce our adorable bundle of joy and destruction.
At first, I fully intended to abandon or turn on you at the first opportunity. Granted, there was a lot of lust there, but you had just ruined my plans and I was pissed. But, my hive was hurt, morale was low, and your love for Shining was the absolute tastiest and most nutritious thing I have ever encountered. Like dark chocolate with a sweet raspberry sauce.
I know full well it saved several of my daughter's lives and kept them and myself from starving to death in the months after the invasion as I coordinated a regrouping effort while living a double life as Shining. I'm sorry, but I have to be truthful here. I used you, and while I feel bad about it, I can't say I regret it. Your intense love saved the lives of my entire hive, and gave us hope at an all time low.
Then the Crystal Empire happened.
With us handing Sombra his own shadowy ass on a platter and spreading love throughout all of Equestria, life has never been better for my changelings. Before, we had to scrounge for what little we could get, but with the Crystal Heart going, love has been practically palpable and in the air. And...
Remember that strangely huge influx of Equestrian immigrants who proved greatly useful in helping the Crystal Empire adjust to the modern world? Yeah...that's my hive. All of it. With Crystal ponies being so trusting and full of love, my hive is better nourished than any other on the planet.
I never intended to, but living with you, day in and day out, I slowly fell for you harder than anything else I have ever done in my life. I kept lying to myself, saying I was just using you, but the moment you bounced up to with a joyous smile on you face, eyes sparkling and happily told me you were pregnant...I knew. I love you more than anything else in the world, and that's why I'm writing this. Even now, I hate the thought of leaving your side even for a brief time, and it's agonizing to do this through letter, but as I said I might not have another chance.
I recently got a correspondence from another one of the Hives outside Equestria, and apparently Cousin Coco is trying to end the world.
Again.
But, apparently she's serious this time, and it's not something the locals in her area can handle. Cady, Changeling hives are isolationist to the extreme. Sure, we exchange individuals from time to time, but for the most part, we stick to our own. Comes with being descended from incredibly territorial predators. In fact, we value our isolation from one another so much that entire hidden wars have been waged between hives simply because a scout got lost and wandered into their territory. You don't even want to know how tense and complicated diplomatic talks can get.
Cady, I don't know how to hammer home how serious this is, but hopefully this will help: when both Tirek and Discord raged across Equestria and Tirek took our powers, I still didn't think the situation desperate enough to warrant asking the other Hives for help. If they're asking me, it's bad. Real Bad.
I've left with my royal daughters and a contingent of my elite guard (so, if a lot of the palace staff is missing don't worry) to confront Coco and try to contain her madness, but...
I'm scared.
Before, her attempts were laughable, not serious. If I get a chance, you have to hear about some of her schemes. Even Discord would be befuddled by some of them.
...
Now, though? I'm told she's gotten a hold of something akin to the Alicorn Amulet, only ten times worse. And, she's an insane Queen on top of that, so not only is it unlikely we can talk her out of it, any fighting is going to be that much more horrific. If it comes to that, this will not be an easy fight, and we're fully expecting significant casualties, especially if she drags her Hive into this.
That's why I'm writing this. I-there's a good chance I won't return, and I don't want to leave you in the dark about all of this. I've made preparations with my one royal daughter I left behind. Euphoria's-yes, that Euphoria and current Captain of the Crystal Guard-is a good girl, if a bit impulsive, and I trust she can rise to the task as the new queen of the Hive if I fail to return. Please, be kind to her. I know Changelings aren't always nice-my past proves that-but we can learn kindness if given a chance.
I know I've committed serious crimes, and some of what I've done is unforgivable, but I know our love was real, even if it was formed on a...(sob)...lie.
I...I hope you don't hate me.
Please don't.
Sincerely,
Your love formerly masquerading as Shining Armor,
High Queen Chrysalis
Author's Note
Well, that is easily the most f****d up relationship I've ever written.
Or someone is playing a very disturbed prank on Cadence.
I honestly don't know.
Regardless, I'm pretty sure this has driven the story into crack fic territory.
Been in a bit of a funk lately, so I decided a bit more to this was in order. Helped that I got a bit of inspiration from one particular comment as well.
While in the previous chapter I had no idea if Chrysalis was telling the truth or not, this one is set in another dimension with a different set of Changeling Biology quirks that are similar to but different from the first. So, they're not really related, but considering this is in such a similar vein to the first and still fits the title more or less, I don't think it deserves its own story.
By the way, this is probably the true final chapter. I honestly don't see what more I could do here, at least not without expanding significantly into other characters. Maybe I could go off with another full story, but I think I'm calling it complete on this story.
As usual, any feedback and constructive criticism is welcome. They're the only way I'll ever learn from my own mistakes and grow as a writer, after all. Flames will be used to roast delicious marshmallows.
