My Fair Little Spike (A very awful fic)

by DakariKingMykan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance
Length: 6258

A Story about Spike wanting Rarity to be his special Somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day

Spike wants to ask Rarity to be his special somepony for Hearts and Hooves, but he doesn't know the right way how. Meanwhile, Rarity gets a hair-brained scheme for her own little Hearts and Hooves celebration, that goes very awry!

Published 2016-04-17 22:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-17 22:50:01 UTC

Intro

INTRO

Hearts and Hooves day was coming, in just a few more days, and all of Ponyville was busy decorating. Twilight was trying to think of a friendly Valentine letter she wanted to send to Princess Celestia. After, it didn’t hurt to show affection to her teacher, she even bought special pink parchment with beautiful red and white hearts decorated around the edges, but she couldn’t think of anything to write.

“Ugh!” she sighed “How do you express your feelings for your beloved teacher, especially the princess?” she wondered aloud.

Just then she heard Spike say “Will you be my special somepony?”

“Spike…?” Twilight looked down and saw him pacing around the floor holding a flower in his claw and going. “Will you please be my very special somepony? No, no, that sounds like I’m begging.” He cleared his throat and began to act all cool and calm “Yo, what say you? Care to be my somepony?” but he groaned conked his head “No! No! No! That’s really no good.”

“Um, Spike?” Twilight said completely startling him, and he startled her. “Twilight, don’t sneak up on me like that!”

Twilight blinked once in confusion, but then she did realize that Spike was obviously practicing to try and ask somepony to be his very special somepony “Aw, that is so sweet.” Twilight said.

Spike tried to deny it that he just wanted to practice his manners for the party that Pinkie Pie was throwing, but Twilight knew how to get him to fess up. “Rarity said she’d love to.”

Spike whirled around, his eyes with hopeful twinkles and hearts in his pupils. “She did?!” he asked anxiously, but then realized “I mean… I… Ah!”

Twilight giggled. “Spike, Rarity knows you like her, and I’m sure if you just be yourself and be nice, of course she’ll agree.”

Somehow Spike doubted that, but he decided it best to go off and ask her. “Good luck lover boy.” Twilight teased.

Spike felt really embarrassed, but as he walked to Rarity’s shop he kept on taking deep cleansing breaths and kept on telling himself. “You can do this. Just be yourself, and ask her nicely and…” he still felt as if it wouldn’t work “Well, I guess I better get it over with. The sooner even if she says no, the easier it’ll be.”

He walked round the bend with the shop up ahead, but much to his shock, there was a whole crowd of males and colts all wanting to be Rarity’s special somepony on Hearts and Hooves. Some of them had even made large banners with messages, and others had showered her with many gifts and bouquets of flowers. Rarity, who was standing on the terrace, had never felt so flattered, but as she just couldn’t possibly take this, she publicly announced “Every Colt and gentlepony. As flattered as I am that you are constantly showering me with these fabulous gifts, I have ultimately decided to hold a contest to determine who is worthy of becoming my very special somepony for Hearts and Hooves day.”

The rules were simple. Everypony was to bring her one special gift, and if she was pleased enough then that one would have the privilege of becoming her special somepony and they only had until Hearts and Hooves day to come up with the right gift, and each one would only be allowed to bring her one. Just one, so as to equal fairness!

All the ponies cheered for joy and ran off to start preparing, but poor Spike, he felt as if he were going to die. He had no idea whatsoever of what to get Rarity, or if even that were possible. “I’m history!” he groaned!

Charming Methods

ACT ONE

Spike could hardly believe how many had gathered outside of Rarity’s place to audition to be her date. Twilight couldn’t believe it herself when he came back to the library, and she was pretty outraged “Rarity can’t do this! Doesn’t she realize how many feelings she’s going to hurt?”

“Like mine for one.” Spike groaned, but he said it quietly to himself, still feeling down that he wouldn’t have a chance to even have a chance to get a chance to ask Rarity to be his special somepony now. He gazed down at the flower he wanted to give her, and how it was slightly wilted. Some gift it was compared to all the large bouquets of flowers, big boxes of chocolates, and other things all the others had planned to give Rarity. He even saw some giving her huge, and to him, rather delicious looking gems.

“No!” he said stand up proudly.

“No… what?” asked Twilight.

“No as in I’m not just going to sit around and mope. You know I like Rarity more than every other pony, well I’m going to find some way to impress her as best I can.”

Although Twilight was proud to see Spike’s determination showing, she shrugged in dismay that he was being taken in by what she saw as Rarity being silly with this whole show. “Spike, I said it before, you just need to be yourself, and just do your best.”

Now Spike shrugged, feeling obviously that Twilight wasn’t about to give him any advice he needed. “Well, it looks like I’m going to have to find somepony else who might be able to help me with this.” and he left out the door, leaving Twilight sighing over this whole thing, and as much as she wanted to be thinking of words to put on her card to Celestia, she felt she really needed to talk some sense into Rarity.

No sooner had she stepped out the door did Pinkie Pie come bouncing by, throwing red and white heart-shaped confetti, wearing a band with two bobbling hearts on her head and shouting, HAPPY THREE DAYS BEFORE HEARTS AND HOOVES DAY!” ruffling Twilight’s mane and tail in the wind. “Uh… thanks, Pinke.”

“Just came by to check if you got my invitation to the Hearts and Hooves party I’m throwing.”

“Yeah, just like you did earlier today and I said yes.”

Pinkie was so giddy and excited. Hearts and Hooves day was her favorite holiday, but then again, they were ALL her favorite, especially when it meant hosting a party. “We’re going to have so much fun this year!” she cried “We’ll play Pin the heart on the arrow… Exchange Hearts and Hooves cards… ooh, and maybe even play, Spin the Rolling Pin, and the two ponies it points to have to exchange smooches on the cheeks or maybe even…!”

Twilight winced at that thought “Uh… that sounds… fun! I gotta go, see ya.” and she galloped off quickly to Rarity’s place.

Along the way, she noticed many of the mare’s and fillies were looking a bit gloomy, and it was pretty obvious to her why, but also because she overheard some talking that most of the stallions and colts were all trying to woo Rarity. “That does it! This has got to stop!” she said, and galloped off faster than ever.

…

Meanwhile, Spike had been walking along the trail, and was so deeply in thought of what to say or do about Rarity that he didn’t watch where he was going and ran straight into Applejack, who was pulling her cart of freshly made apple crumble pies. “Whoa! Easy there, Spike.”

“Sorry, Applejack... I guess I was miles away.”

“I’ll say you were.” replied AJ as she gave Spike one of her pies “Here, it’s good for what ails ya.” Just like her, she always could tell when someone was feeling down.

“Applejack, what do you think is the best way to show someone special how you feel?”

AJ wasn’t a fool, and she knew Spike was referring to Rarity. “Listen to me Spike. If you really want to win someone’s heart, you gotta show it not just say it. Now, I’ve never been one about all the smoochies and romantics, but I can tell you this much, if you work real hard and pull your own weight show how helpful you are, and you’ll earn respect from practically everyone there is.”

Spike wasn’t too sure about that, but thanked her and AJ went on her way with her pies. After finishing the pie she gave him Spike took what she said to heart “Right… if I work hard and pull my own weight, maybe Rarity will see.”

Sadly, he got the wrong idea…!

He saw a huge rock about the same size as him and thought maybe he could pull his own weight by lifting it up and being strong to show that he could do hard work. However, as expected, he couldn’t lift the huge rock, nor budge it, it was too heavy for a baby dragon like him to carry, but he kept on trying and trying, yanking and pulling until… SNAP went his back! “Ow… oh no… uh oh…! Ohh…!” and he flopped down flat on the ground.

Luckily Fluttershy happened to be passing by with a basket of berries she had been gathering and saw him. “Oh, my goodness, Spike!” she cried “What happened to you?”

“My back…! That’s what!” groaned Spike. Fluttershy quickly scooped him up onto her back “Don’t worry; I’ll soon have you right.”

…

Meanwhile, Twilight had finally reached Rarity’s place, and she stood with her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open in shock. The crowd of potential suitors seemed to line up way, way, beyond the yard and deep into Ponyville crowding up the streets. Some of the ponies had even come from Cloudsdale, Canterlot; all to give Rarity their gifts and hope they’d choose her to be her very special somepony.

Even Snails and Snips were there, at the front of the line, and gave her two hove-made cards, not very well. “We made these especially for you, Rarity.” said Snails “We hope you like them.” added Snips. Though profoundly underwhelmed, Rarity still took the gifts graciously “Why…. Thank you, the both of you. I’ll let you know what I decide.”

The boys smiled and left and Rarity threw their cards in the pile along with all the other gifts she had received. “Rarity!” Twilight snapped making her jump in shock. “Oh! Oh, hello Twilight…”

Twilight gave her a serious glare and sneered “What are you thinking with all this?!” she referred to the lineup of males with their many more gifts to add to her, already, very large mound of gifts. “Oh, darling I have everything under control, really I do. I’m just doing my part for the upcoming Hearts and Hooves Day.”

She went on explaining how on that special day how many of the lonely male colts and stallions would be dateless, and many of them wishing for she to be their very special somepony, even just for one day. “All I’m really doing is giving them a fair chance.”

“Yeah, and you’ll have to pick just ONE out of All of them!” said Twilight, but it was ultimately in vain that she was able to convince Rarity to put a stop to it all, as Rarity insisted “Oh, Twilight… I have everything under control, really.”

Seeing there was no getting through to her, Twilight decided to leave wondering how long it would be before things got ugly.

Growing Problems

ACT TWO

Fluttershy had taken Spike to her place, and had Angel hop on his sore back to straighten out and massage his strain. “Ohh… uhn… yeah…!” he sighed happily as he felt so relaxed, and soon his kink was all better. “Thanks a lot. I needed that.”

Angel and Fluttershy smiled, but Fluttershy was very concerned when Spike told her how he got that kink in his back trying to lift up that stone. “What were you trying to do?” she asked.

Spike, again, didn’t tell about him wanting to ask Rarity about Hearts and Hooves, but he did ask her “Fluttershy… um… well… if you’ve ever had a crush on someone, what would you do to show them how you feel?”

Fluttershy winced once, then twice, and felt her cheeks turn red. Of course she knew Spike was talking about himself and Rarity, but she had never been asked before if she ever had a crush and never felt more timid and nervous in her life. “Oh… well… I uh… I’ve never actually… had a crush before.” He voice got squeaky as she said “…I’d just get so nervous.”

Spike could tell he was only upsetting her and didn’t think he was going get any advice from her. “Never mind…” he said. He thanked her again for the massage and fixing his back and just had his claw on the door ready to leave. “Wait…!” Fluttershy suddenly said. He turned and gazed back at her, she hesitated a bit, and twiddled her hooves “I would… just be gentle, and… and maybe… as kind as I could be.”

Spike wasn’t sure if she was being totally honest due to her timidity, but he felt she had a point and smiled at her. “Thanks! That could work.” and then he left. Leaving Fluttershy still feeling very nervous and she really wondered what her life would be like if she had a crush. That’s when Angel came out and gave her a single flower of appreciation to her, which make her whimper nervously, and she ran off to hide, much to Angel’s dismay.

…

As Spike walked along, he practiced being soft and gentle; pitching his voice to low and soft, and pretending he was asking Rarity out on a date. “Would you be my special somepony? No, no… too simple.” He cleared his throat and tried again “Rarity… I was wonder… if maybe… you and I could…?” but then he realized he was starting to sound like Fluttershy when she was really nervous. He sighed thinking he’d never get this right, that’s when Rainbow Dash sped on by super-fast, making him jump. “Hey, Spike! Why so glum?” she asked.

Spike stuttered and stammered as he nervous rocked back and forth, twiddling his claw in the dirt, but Rainbow was able to put two and two together. “You want to ask Rarity to be your special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day.”

Spike’s eyes bulged and his cheeks went red, but Rainbow snickered “Come on, it’s no big secret, Spike, but if you’re looking to please Rarity, there’s only one real way to do that…”

“What’s that?”

“This!” Rainbow shouted, and she took off high, and began to perform super stunts in midair, diving at the trees and kicking off at the last second. She even dove straight at the ground and pulled put just centimeters off the ground and stopped before him and shouted “Yeah!”

Spike had almost forgotten how to breathe and blinked his eyes twice. “Trust me, show someone how talented and cool you are, and you’ll win their attention and affection in all-out super-perfection!”

Spike actually thought that would help, and he often did picture himself as rather a cool guy putting the woo on the ladies, like wearing leather jacket, shades, his upper spikes slicked down. “Yo… you’re beautiful.” He would say, and the girls would faint.

“Okay, I’ll try it!” he said, and he and Rainbow slapped a high hoof and claw.

…

Before long, back at the library, Twilight was still having troubles about what to put on her card to Celestia. She had gone through every single book on poetry she could find, but nothing to give her any ideas. “Come on, Twilight… think!” she groaned “How do you express your admiration towards your beloved teacher?”

Suddenly, Spike came out from the other room, in a leather jacket, shades, and his head spikes slicked down. “Yo’ what’s shakin’?” he said.

Twilight turned and gawked at him “Uh… what’s all that for?” she asked.

“Twilight, baby, don’t sweat it. It’s all cool.”

Twilight felt confused “Baby…? Did you call me baby?”

Spike just clicked at her, and then headed for the door. “Catch ya’ on the flip side.” and he was gone leaving Twilight thinking that Spike’s new attitude was something to do with his problem with Rarity. She looked out the window and saw him climb onto a skateboard. “Since when does Spike know how to skate?” she wondered, and then suddenly she saw him line a board of wood over a rock forming a ramp to jump over three shrubs. “SPIKE!!” she cried and ran for the door as fast as she could.

Spike had already lined up his skateboard ready to make the jump, and dashed straight at it, but the skateboard crashed into the unleveled edge of the board flinging him clear off of it and up into the air over the bushes. “Oh, no…!” he cried as she braced for the big crashed when suddenly Twilight used her magic to levitate him to safety, but she did not look a bit please with his actions. “Spike, don’t you ever try that again!” she scolded “You could’ve broken your neck! What we’re you thinking?”

Spike felt really silly, almost to tears of shame and embarrassment, and he told her what Rainbow Dash had said about being cool and performing daring stunts to impress Rarity. Twilight began to feel that everypony was going absolutely insane. First: Rarity with her little stunt, and most of the male ponies buying it, and now this too?! “I keep telling you, Spike. You don’t have to do all this stuff. Just be yourself.”

Spike’s features hardened “And I keep making it clear… that’s not going to work.” he sneered. “I need to find someone else to ask for advice.” and he walked off leaving his cool clothes behind and Twilight feeling absolutely frustrated.

…

Meanwhile, the last of Rarity’s potential dates had presented her with their gifts. In a public announcement she thanked them all kindly. “And now, I will go through each of the marvelous gifts you have presented to Moi, and the one whom I deem the most wonderful shall have the honor of having me as their very special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day.”

The males all down below cheered in joy, and Rarity took one last bow to the crowd before adjourning inside, running into the very beginning of a very big mess of gifts all piled up leading from her room all the way through her house, into her boutique, out the backdoor an stopping at the giant mound outside where sat before. Opal poked her head out from under a batch of flowers, gasping for air, and Rarity suddenly realized the first of her mistakes and said “This… may take a while!”

Now you've done it, Rarity

ACT THREE

Spike was running seriously low on options and hope of ever confronting Rarity. So far all the advice he had gotten either wouldn't work or he just couldn't do. He stopped at the Cake's Cafe and Bakery for a milkshake to help ease his frustration. "Tough day, Spike?" asked Carrot Cake. "What else is new?" Spike replied lowly. Cup Cake came with his milkshake and patted his head saying "Well, I hope you feel better soon dear. No one should have to be miserable with Hearts and Hooves day coming."

Spike only sighed and then asked the Cakes about his problem, seeing as they were married and would probably have good advice. "Well, Spike..." said Carrot Cake "...you can't go wrong without showing how skilled you are around the house; cooking, cleaning, helping with the kids."

His wife agreed "Well said, honey bun." she then turned to Spike and said "And sharing common interests with each other only helps make the love rise like adding the yeast to the dough."
Her husband smiled at her lovingly, and she smiled back and they walked off into the kitchen together, but Spike felt even gloomier than ever. He knew he was no cook, so that was out. The only thing he could really think about he had in common with Rarity was their love of gems, but even there it was totally different as she liked to make things with gems and wear them, while he preferred snacking.

As he sipped his shake all around the Cafe he could see other ponies that seemed droopy in the chops, mostly mares and fillies, all feeling down because almost every male in Ponyville was trying to woo Rarity, leaving them all dateless for Hearts and Hooves. Pinkie Pie hated seeing such long faces and thought she'd cheer everyone up reminding them all about her Hearts and Hooves party, sadly this only made everyone feel worse. Some of the mares and fillies even ran out crying and Pinkie blinked once "Was it something I said? Was it something I sang?"
She then noticed Spike was sitting alone and bounced over to it. "So... why so glum, dragon chum." she said hoping to put a smile on Spike's face, but Spike, thought he felt he would regret asking Pinkie was desperate enough, asked her "What would you do to show your affections for someone?”

Pinkie blinked once, and then her lips slowly curled into a giggly smile “You want to know what I’d do? I’ll tell you…” She tapped her hoof several times as the beat to music began to play, and she broke into a funny song.

I… throw a… big party here, or a big parade there
…I act friendly “Oh, yeah.”
When I meet someone new, I act real nice and fair
I act friendly “I love it!”
Being friendly, and ever so fun I know that things can’t go wrong
Being friendly… friendly… I know we can all get along.

Spike was already feeling wound up and freaked by Pinkie’s antics, and tried to get her attention, but Pinkie suddenly grabbed a hat and cane out of nowhere and began tap-dancing as the song continued.

When my feelings come out, as a scream or a shout
…I act friendly “Hee, hee… it’s fun.”
When you’re feeling lonely, just call on me
…I’ll be friendly “When you need it most”
I jump and I’ll say, hip-hip horary
Because… that’s how I want it done
I act friendly-friendly-friendly-friendly-friendly…
…and then we have fun…!

Whether you’re happy or blue, I’ll let my feelings shine through
And three… two… one…!
I act friendly, so then it’s all--
Friendly… and then it’s all—
Friendly, so we can have fun…!

If you’re smiling or not, I’ll show you what I’ve got
I’ll hop, skip, jump and then run…
Being friendly, so then it’s all--
Friendly, and then it’s all—
Friendly… so we can have FUN--------!!!”

“FRIENDLY!!”

She landed on the floor with in a split, while gazing at Spike hoping he had gotten what she said, but actually he knew he had to get out of there before she made him feel any more freaked out. “Uh, I have to go, Pinkie. Thanks anyway.” And he dashed for the door.

“Okay!” Pinkie called to him “…And just remember…” and just began to dancing and leaping about again as the last verse of her song repeated.

If you’re smiling or not, I’ll show you what I’ve got
I’ll hop, skip, jump and then run…
Being friendly, so then it’s all--
Friendly, and then it’s all—
Friendly… so we can have FUN--------!!!”

“FRIENDLY!!”

But Spike was already running as fast as his little feet could carry him. Most of what Pinkie sang hardly made that much sense to him, but he certainly knew he could never please Rarity by acting overly excitable and giddy like that, even if it was being friendly.

He sighed heavily. “I’ve asked the advice from so many ponies, and not one of them turned out right for me. I’ll never compete with all those other guys have given Rarity.” He passed by Carousel Boutique and saw the massive mountain of gifts thinking Rarity was so lucky and having the time of her life. He sighed again and continued on his way home… completely unaware that Rarity was already driving herself off the edge…!

She had received so many different gifts not only could she not decided which ones she liked the best she couldn’t even remember who gave them to her in the first place. Worse than that, she had hardly any space to put all the gifts she had already gone through and ended up losing track of her thoughts forcing her to start all over again.

“Oh my… uh, I think that this was… or was it… this is lovely, oh but then there’s… Oh!”

She stammered and stumbled about in near panic trying to get organized, but the more she tried the more frustrated and stressed out she became. Her mane and tail were getting tangled up in her fumbling, and she kept right on going, and going, deep into the night before finally… she snapped, and screamed, and fell back on the floor crying and sobbing “I-hi-hi… Ca-ha-han’t … do-ho-hoo… this anymo-ho-hore!”

She turned her head and could see herself in the mirror, all covered in flower petals, and her mane tangled. She was a total wreck, and she continued to cry. “Twilight was right! What have a done? I shall never get this all sorted out by tomorrow; let alone Hearts and Hooves Day!”

What was really eating at her was all the find young stallions and colts who took the time to bring her all these wonderful gifts, and each were so individually beautiful in their own ways, even some of the gifts she didn’t like much had some value, at least they were hoof-made and it was the thought that counted.

She just couldn’t do this anymore, and felt she had an idea to straighten this whole thing out.

The next morning, all the colts and stallions had gathered outside of her place eager to hear who she had chosen to be her special somepony. Unfortunately this caused arguments to erupt amongst them; for many and others kept on acting cocky saying that they would be her pick and that everyone else didn’t stand a chance.

“My gift was the best of all.”

“Your gift…? Think again!”

“Mine was more expensive and she loves expensive things.”

“It’s the thought that counts most.”

The quarrelling continued, until Rarity used her phonograph to play a recorded sound of fanfare trumpets playing announcing her appearance. “Thank you all for coming and I must thank you all again for your wonderful tokens of affection you have given me, but I’m afraid I have bad news.”

The crowd felt confused and uneasy, and Rarity cleared her throat and announced that she just wouldn’t be choosing any of them, which made the boys all gasp in shock and grumble in outrage. It was in vain that Rarity tried to reason with them “All your gifts were wonderful, and I am truly grateful for them, but… ultimately I cannot choose just one. For that, I am ever so dreadfully sorry.” But all boys were more infuriated than ever.

“I blew my whole monthly salary on my gift.”

“I spent a whole night making that card!”

“BOO!!”

“You have robbed us of our time and efforts!”

The booing and taunting soon erupted into an angry mob that began throwing mud balls and rocks at Rarity’s home “Really now, stop this!” Rarity called out “I told you I was sorry…!”

“Let’s get her!” and they busted down the front door and began marching in. Rarity gulped hard and tried to escape, but the mob was already on its way up. Some of them were already flying up to her window, completely surrounding her and growling like angry bears. Poor Rarity was really in a spot now!

Amends of Friends

FINAL ACT

The angry males glared at Rarity as they closed in on her. The poor dear quivered and whimpered fearfully, when suddenly… POOF, Twilight appeared and then teleported them both out of the house. “Let’s go find her!” shouted one of the males, and the entre mob dashed off.

Meanwhile, Spike was sitting all alone near the river, still feeling a bit glum that he’d be spending Hearts and Hooves day dateless. “I bet she’s already chosen somepony else.” he kept telling himself. He was so lost in his gloominess, he didn’t see Twilight and Rarity poof out of nowhere on the other side of the river.

“Oh, Twilight, thank you, thank you ever so much!” Rarity sobbed, but Twilight acted all smug. “I knew this would happen to you, Rarity.”

“Oh, yes… you were right all along. How could I have been so blind? Now everypony in town is after me, and not in a pleasant way.”

The ground suddenly began to rumble softly as the sound of a huge stampede was coming, and sure enough a huge stampede of many mares and fillies were storming across the meadows. “There she is!” they shouted.

“You stole all the boys in town!”

“You’re going to pay!”

“RUN!!” shouted Twilight, and she and Rarity took off as fast as their hooves could carry them. Spike overheard everything and saw the commotion. Rarity was in huge trouble and he wasn’t about to just sit and let this happen. So he jogged off hoping to catch up to the girls.

As the girls ran, they felt it best of they fled into Everfree Forest to try and lose them, but the mob still followed them in, splitting up in so many different directions covering as much ground as they could.

Rarity and Twilight took refuge behind a large tree as some of the girls ran right past them, but Rarity knew she wasn’t safe, and Twilight wouldn’t be able to teleport them out as practically everypony in town was after her. There was no safe place to go, and now she was involved as well for helping Rarity get away.

“Oh, Twilight what am I going to do?” Rarity cried.

“Can’t you just try and apologize to them?” Twilight suggested “Maybe if you give them back all their gifts and stuff they’ll forgive you.”

Rarity felt that was a great idea, but first she’d have to get back home which meant getting past the mobs and that wouldn’t be easy. “Don’t you have an invisibility spell of some sort I can use?”

Twilight shook her head sadly. Their only hope was quietly tried to creep out of the forest without being seen. They slunk and crept about through all the thickets and brambles, ducking out of sight whenever members of the mob came by.

They had many close encounters with getting caught, and just as they were able to make their way to leave the forest, all covered in twigs and leaves and mud-- Rarity did all she could to keep herself from screaming or groaning in disgust the whole way-- when suddenly Rarity stepped on one single twig, snapping it very loudly. She and Twilight gasped softly, but members of the mob already saw them “There they are! Get them!” and the girls found themselves on the run again with the mob quick on their tails, but as they reached the forest edge the skidded to a grinding halt, as the mob of boys were there, snarling and growling at Rarity, and at Twilight for helping her.

The girls quivered and shook with fear and held each other, whimpering as the angry ponies approached them slowly, getting closer, and closer, but just as things were about to get really ugly. “…STOP!!!” Spike shouted as he came hopping along the heads of all the ponies into the circle by the girls. “Stop…! Stop, Stop, Stop!!”

“Spike!!” the girls cried.

The mob glared at the little dragon, but Spike didn’t even budge. He just stood tall and proud before the girls and glared at the mob “Look at you and what you’ve become. Rarity made a mistake, she tried to apologize, and quite frankly I’m surprised at all of you! True, Rarity is pretty and pretty kind at times, but all of you go after her completely ignoring all the other single girls out there whom you left nearly dateless for Hearts and Hooves day!”

The facial features in the mobs slowly changed in realization.

Twilight couldn’t believe Spike was actually saying all this, but Rarity thought it was rather touching, and exactly right.

“Is this what Hearts and Hooves is all about?” Spike continued “Is about presents… showing off… fighting… jealousy?! I’ll tell you what it should be about.” He turned to gaze at Twilight “It’s about being yourself, the best you can be.”

Twilight smiled at him, and then Spike gazed back to Rarity “And it’s also about being around someone you really like, but not because of their popularity, but rather for real feelings.”

A tear rolled down Rarity’s cheek, and the mob ultimately decided Spike was right, and they had all been acting foolish, and the mob began to breakup and everyone headed back into Ponyville. Some even walked out as couples, side-by-side.

“Spike…” Rarity said “Thank you, you really helped there. That’s another one of the bravest things you’ve ever done for me.”

Spike felt like he was glowing.

Twilight approached them. “Spike… don’t you have something else you want to say?” she was hinting at Rarity. Spike gazed at Rarity nervously and she blinked her long eyelashes at him twice. He stuttered and stammered a little, and rubbed the back of his head. “Um… Rarity… I…”

“Yes… Spike…?”

Spike then found a single wildflower where he was standing and plucked it, got down on one knee and held it out to her “Hearts and Hooves day is coming… and… I was… wondering… will you be my very special somepony for that day?”

Rarity felt really flattered, and seeing as Spike was being sweet and honest, not to mention he just saved her rump form being seriously kicked. “Oh, Spikey-Wikey… of course I will.” And she gave him a huge long peck on the cheek… and you can bet Spike fell over in a lovey-dovey daze, giggling softly.

The girls couldn’t help but giggle at him.

Rarity and Spike both learned from this, so they thought it fair they both write a friendship report together.

Dear Princess Celestia…

We both learned big things about actions and attitude.

Rarity learned that’s it not nice to get other ponies’ hopes up and to take gifts from them all for nearly nothing. Not only can it break their hearts, but it can break the hearts and hurt feelings of those beside them which can lead to fighting and arguing from which they might not resolve without there being big trouble.

Spike learned that’s it’s foolish trying to try and be or act like someone you’re just not, and what others do is their own thing, and may not really be the right thing for you. He learned the best way to act is like himself, which helped him realize what Hearts and Hooves is really about.

We both promise not to try and get carried away like this more often.

--Rarity and Spike

…

Over the next few days, Rarity did well on her word and returned all the gifts to all the boys which they used to give to their real dates. Then, it was Hearts and Hooves day at last, and keeping her promise, Rarity arrived at the library and she and Spike spent the whole day together.

*Moonlight Becomes You plays in the background*

Spike even dressed up a cute little tux, and gave her another flower identical to the original one he had planned to give her before, to which she accepted graciously. They went for a long walk together. They ate out for lunch, and Spike paid for the whole meal using some of his favorite gems from his collection, flattering her deeply.

They went to Pinkie Pie’s Hearts and Hooves party and enjoyed the fun and games with everyone, and they spun the rolling pin and it pointed at them both. They exchanged pecks on the cheeks, but it didn’t end there.

At night they went for a romantic coach ride together, and Spike lead her to a spot place in the moonlit meadows where he had a beautiful picnic dinner set up, which foods he bought, not made. Rarity couldn’t believe he went to all this trouble just for her. Spike even brought a phonograph with soft gentle music and asked if maybe she’d like to dance under the moonlight… and they certainly did.

And a while latter, they just sat together side-by-side leaned against one another while they gazed up at the moon and stars, and Rarity pecked him again, and he pecked her softly in return. It was truly a Hearts and Hooves to remember for them both.

As for Celestia, she had just unwrapped a card given to her by Twilight, and it was still blank, but inside with the card was a detected letter that said “I left it blank because no matter how hard I tried, no words could describe how grateful I feel towards you and all that you’ve done for me.”

Celestia smiled and sighed heavenly “Happy Hearts and Hooves, Twilight.”

Author's Note

I rate this garbage Negative 100 out of 10