A Very "Screwed" Experience

by Dark_Night

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Adventure, Sex, Discord, Screwball, Human, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery
Length: 2424

Discord is dead. Screwball is now the Chaos Goddess. But when an unfortunate meeting with a human in the depths of tartarus, Screwball saves him. But at a cost. His soul now controls her body, leaving her soul in a comatose state.

While in the Depths of Tartarus, Screwball witnesses the death of her father. Finally, the reaper got the elusive chaos god. The chaotic magic from her father is absorbed by Screwball. The magical whiplash causes rips in the universe to emerge. An unfortunate human falls in. Unable to survive in the depths of hell, Screwball saves him without knowledge of the ramifications. This action thrusts our human Anthony Miles into the driver's seat, allowing him to control the body of the chaotic filly.

Report any grammatical mistakes or spelling issues you find along with plot holes. I'll be sure to address all of them.

Prologue is broken into two parts.

Published 2016-04-18 20:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-18 20:40:02 UTC

Prologue part one

PROLOGUE: Death.

“Daddy. Do I have a mommy?” asked a small, feminine voice.

“No, little Screwball. Not anymore,” a deep, intoning voice said solemnly.

“Why not? What happened?” Screwball asked curiously with a hint of sadness.

“You’re too young to understand. Maybe you will later, but I can’t risk breaking your fragile sanity,” the deep voice replied, still with its solemn tone. “You are my daughter, the only being to have ever existed that is directly related to one such as myself. Therefore, it is not time yet to tell you what happened to your mother. What does matter is that you should choose not to think about it.”

“But why?” little Screwball inquired, a hint of a tear present in her eye. “She’s my mommy! Can I at least know who she is? What her name is? What she looks like?” She took a moment to stare up at her father, his lion claw gripping her firmly. “Please?”

He relented with an angered sigh.

“Fine. Little Screwball, Daughter of Discord and Princess of Chaos, You wish to know your mother?” Discord said with barely contained frustration. Screwball shrunk visibly in front of her father.

“Yes,” she squeaked out. Discord responded by waving his claw, creating a gridded pattern in the air which filled with images. The images flew by on the projection, faster than a normal pony could ever hope to see, much less comprehend. Screwball, however, was not a normal filly. She could see and understand each and every one. Images of battles from her father’s past, encounters with death, and greedy, tyrannical monsters that ruled over their subjects commanding fear and obedience.

“Here we are,” Discord said, as the images came to a stop. He was unaware of the fact that Screwball had seen and understood the memories. When the images did come to a complete halt, they showed an earth pony mare. Discord sighed. “This is your mother. She looked a lot like you. Her name was Crystal Meadow.”

“Crystal Meadow?” Screwball asked rhetorically. “How did you meet her?”

“Well, it began a long time ago. Back before my reign of Chaos to rule Equestria-” Discord was interrupted by Screwball who raised a hoof. “Yes?”

“That doesn’t make sense. It’s been a really long time since your reign… like… a million years,” the filly said, scrunching her nose in confusion.

“No,” Discord clarified, chuckling. “It’s been a millennium… A thousand years.” After receiving a glint of understanding from his daughter’s eyes, he continued. “Anyway, her name was Crystal Meadow. I met her while she was traveling. She said that she wanted to see the world and all that it holds. So I obliged her. Being the crafty draconequus that I am, I did take her to see the world. At first, it was dodgy, she didn’t really like me at that time and kept trying to attack me with her hooves, but she almost never got the chance.” Discord cracked a smile, reminiscing about times with his old marefriend. He looked back at Screwball who was staring up at him excitedly and chuckled before continuing. “Eventually she warmed up to me, realizing that all wasn’t so bad. She was a kind mare, but quick to judge. Crafty but smart. She was a candle in the dark,” Discord stopped to see the reaction from his daughter to his sappy poetic lines. Screwball had a look of disgust. “Anyway, I eventually began to realize that I had feelings for the mare and I soon asked her to marry me.”

“You asked my mom to marry you? How did you manage that?” Screwball asked with a smirk. Screwball may have been a filly, but she had too much knowledge and intellect. Some would say that she is ‘too smart for her own good’.

“Yes. But she at first said no. At the sight of me being downtrodden, she relented. Hard to say no to a small, cute and adorable little puppy,” he chuckled. “We did get married and soon had twins. One of which is you. The other… I cannot recall. Your mother had a ward placed on my mind under direct order of the princesses to seal the memories that have anything to do with my second daughter. Truthfully, I doubt she is even still alive, or had any children to pass on her lineage.”

“I have a sister?” Screwball asked reflectively to which the draconequus nodded. “Well… this has been an enlightening experience. Thank you daddy.”

He smiled. “You’re welcome.” Discord floated away before placing his daughter into her bed and tucking her in. As he turned to leave she spoke up again.

“Daddy? How old am I?” Discord paled at this, hoping to have avoided the question all together.

“I-I… I,” Discord stammered. He calmed himself by breathing in and out several times. “Well, I suppose that this won’t hurt for you to know. You are one thousand years old. Your body has not aged due to a stasis field that was cast upon you when I went insane after Crystal…” He began muttering, voice breaking. “...died.” Screwball jumped out of bed and went to hug her dad but was surprised when her dad buried his face into her mane. “I’m sorry Crystal! I couldn’t save you!” He began bawling, crying into Screwball’s tiny mane.

“Daddy? What happened? I feel like you explaining this would do you good regardless of how it affects me.”

“Celestia killed her!” he sobbed. His daughter ran her tiny hooves along his torso in an attempt to calm him. “She thought that Meadow was under my control and thought even her to be an apparition, one that I just conjured up. She decided to swiftly slay my wife. For no good reason! She just got over banishing her own sister and yet she took out her rage on me and my beloved. It wasn’t fair.” Not knowing what to say, Screwball just comforted her dad, sharing his sadness. Discord, a slump of sadness, just muttered the word “Why?” over and over, hoping to get a response to a question that he would never receive an answer to.

Finding her words, Screwball spoke. “But you said you had another daughter. What if we tracked her down and brought her home?”

“That wouldn’t work. You and your sister are not immortal. The only reason you are so old is because of the stasis spell placed upon you when I went insane. But we could… no... “ His thoughts ran wild as a smile formed on his face. “We could go to the pits of tartarus and see her again! My beautiful wife.” With no time to spare, Discord snapped his fingers and the scenery changed, taking his daughter with him.

Location: Elysium fields; Hades's palace.

“But Hades! Please tell me where to find my wife. I need to see her one last time.”

“I’m sorry Discord, but she has asked to be left alone. All I know is that she is somewhere in Elysium Fields. I’m sorry, that’s the best I can do,” Hades replied.

Discord rushed out to the fields and searched frantically, casting out his magic which fizzled out. Unbeknownst to him, Screwball had been left inside the palace. Alone.

Screwball had been left in the Palace alone and without her father. The rules of the underworld stated that any mortal left unattended would become swiftly ended.

A guard walked up to her and bent down and opened his skeletal jaw. He was about to have a nice snack when Hades waved him away. “You are temporarily under my care young one.”

Discord searched for what seemed like ages when he finally had a glimmer of hope. He saw an earth pony with the same characteristics as Crystal Meadow float lazily across the infinite fields. He saw too late that it was a trick. A cruel trick put into action by an unseen foe. He became restrained in midair, fingers pried apart as to not let him escape. All of the ghosts nearby formed a large circle, approximately one mile in diameter. In the center, trapped in chains was his wife, staring up at him with a terrified expression. Being a ghost, she could not speak, but for the message she conveyed, she did not need words. The fear in her eyes spoke clearly. “This is the day that you die.”

Discord, unnerved by this yet enraptured by the presence of the mare he loved, stared her directly in the eyes. A tear dripped down his cheek as he knew… the grim reaper had gotten him once and for all.

“Discord!” the skeletal figure boomed. “You have escaped my grasp too many times. You will not escape me again.” Dark energy began to spew from Discord’s body as he was drained of his magic and left to wither and die. When his magic was gone, The reaper stabbed him through the heart, causing a massive shock wave to ripple out, being heard from the palace.

“DADDY!”

Prologue Part two

Author's Note

There is a not very well hidden message in this chapter. The first to ACCURATELY translate it may get a guest appearance if they so wish.

Prologue Part two

Prologue part two.

Screwball dashed outside of the Palace, bursting past the guards in pure adrenaline. She had kicked Hades in the face before sprinting out of the throne room. Knowing better, Hades did not enact his guards to chase her. He lowered his head and sighed. “May Zeus be with you.”

Screwball rushed into the fields of Elysium before skidding to a halt, and quivering in fear. She couldn’t miss the enormous skeletal creature in the distance. But that isn’t what scared her. What chilled Screwball to the bone was the fact that her father was impaled upon the creature’s weapon. On the edges of her vision, she noticed black energy racing toward her, unimpeded by the Grim reaper’s attempts to stop it. After a second, five beams of chaos energy struck the filly as yet another ripple, this one even more massive shredded the air around her.

Hundreds of tiny tears in the universe appeared. Each containing different scenes from alternate universes. In a particular tear, larger than the rest, A male human was walking down a hallway, unaware of what was about to happen.

Earth. one hour ago:
POV: Anthony Miles

“Josh! Get me a double cheeseburger, a medium fry and three medium milkshakes, oreo.” I yelled into the microphone. A call from the kitchen tells me he heard my order. I face the customer and smile. “May I have a name for the order?”

The customer smiled before saying, “My name is Mike Rotch.” I quickly write that on the bill before telling him that he may take a seat.

“Next!” I shout. Another man steps up.

“I’ll have the same as the person before me, minus the milkshakes please,” he said.

“Alright, and that is a double Cheeseburger and a medium fries?” he nods. “Okay, may I take a name?”

“Donaugh May Boyes,” he says, to which I raise my eyebrow but refrain from saying anything. Instead, I speak his order into the mic so that Josh in the back would get it. But it was at this moment that Josh ran up with the previous man’s order and announces to the entire building.

“Order is ready for My Crotch! Mike Rotch! Your order is ready.” The man from earlier stalks up and takes his meal while the entire building is in laughter. I burst into laughter also as I realize what just happened. Mike Rotch? That is really funny! My co-worker laughs and slaps me across the face, eliciting a shout of surprise from me. I really shouldn’t have laughed though, but it wouldn’t matter anyway.

After a good while, a voice shouts from the backroom of the building. “Miles! We’re out of burger buns! Grab some more from the storeroom please!” That was my manager, It was my job to make sure we had sufficient supplies at the change of each shift. I may have forgotten once or twice…

I walked down the hallway toward the storeroom when something caused me to trip. I went down, my head slamming against a wooden box. My vision went dark.

(Third person)
Anthony’s unconscious form dropped through a tear in the ground whereupon he collapsed on the ground near Screwball. The ghosts had long since dispersed and had advanced upon the male. An outcry from Screwball caused a shockwave to ripple, negatively affecting the human, to which he immediately awoke, screaming in pain as the chaotic magic coursed through his veins, tearing his soul apart. The shockwave from Screwball also pushed the ghosts back, something that should not be possible under normal circumstances. Screwball saw what was happening to the human and began to channel the chaotic magic flowing through the him. Unknown to her, the chaos magic had enough time to fully encompass the human’s soul and essence. Drawing the magic back into her body, she brought his soul with her. She didn’t owe any favors to this person, nor did she know who he was. All she knew was that she would not let another being die if she could help it. So she did. Their souls fused.

For a short time, the chaos energy stopped flowing into and out of her body, and began to orbit around her at a fairly slow speed. The inner turmoil tore both souls apart and stitched them together creating one single entity. The human personality rose to the driver’s seat while the memories of both parties took the back seat, becoming intertwined and contorted. Eventually, all came to a lull. With Screwball’s body gradually absorbing the ambient chaos magic that lingered.

Nearby, The skeletal figure who still remained, watched in a mix of horror and awe. He saw that the transfusion of souls had finished and he disposed of the human corpse by tossing it over his shoulder without a care. He picked up the filly, careful not to touch her with his blade, and returned her to the Palace where he explained what happened to the lord of the dead. Soon, after some discussion, the two agreed what to do with the filly. They would lock away the memories of what happened in the time that the two were in the underworld together from the point Anthony had arrived; and would teleport the small filly into Equestria.

Chapter one

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.