The Shippers Cometh

by Jay David

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Random
Length: 1355

Apple Bloom finds herself the target of some unwanted pairing efforts

She should have known this would happen. It was inevitable, really. The moment she'd done it, she knew she would eventually have to deal with this. And now, that time had come. Now, she must come to terms with something completely beyond her control;

She's been shipped.

Published 2016-04-27 16:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-27 16:20:02 UTC

The Shippers Cometh

As per usual, things on Sweet Apple Acres were about as calm and peaceful as one would expect. There was a bright sun shining down from the sky, a gentle breeze through the air, and everywhere one turned, they would lay their eyes upon the still and delicious apples hanging from the many trees on the orchards. It was a scene worthy of a postcard, the kind of moment you just knew was about to have something come along and interrupt it.

And, sure enough...

"KEEP MOVIN!!!"

Apple Bloom tore across the grass of her home, followed swiftly by Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. The three Crusaders all bore looks of utter terror, panting furiously as they ran as fast as their tiny legs could carry them. On and on they galloped, heading straight for Apple Bloom's home. Every once in a while, the young Apple would looked over her shoulder as she ran, only to be struck with horror as she did so, before once more resuming her surge forward. Eventually, they made it to the doors, with Apple Bloom opening it quickly. She and the others darted inside, before closing the door behind them.

"Lock it! Quick!" Scootaloo called out.

And lock it they did, as each of the Crusaders leapt up and clicked closed one of the three bolts across the door. With that done, they retreated back a few steps, still breathing heavily from coming here.

"Do...do you think...?" Sweetie Belle started.

Apple Bloom shook her head.

"Ah don't know! I think we mighta..."

"Apple Bloom?"

The arrival of the new voice caught all of them off-guard, and together, they spun around. Sure enough, it was Applejack, looking to her sister and her friends with clear confusion upon her face.

"What in tarnation are y'all doin?"

The three youngsters looked to one another, before, eventually, trying to hazard an explanation.

"Oh..." Apple Bloom began.

"...We're just..." Scootaloo continued.

"...Chilling?" Sweetie Belle ended.

Applejack raised an eyebrow, apparently having already sensed their youthful troublemaking by this point. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom turned to their third comrade, looking rather annoyed.

"Chilling?" Scootaloo asked.

Sweetie Belle shrugged her shoulders.

"It's the best I could come up with!"

Shaking her head at this display, Applejack took a step forward.

"Okay, enough games. Just what is goin on here?"

Apple Bloom, naturally, was looking more than a little guilty right now, and so took her own step forward, taking a gulp before, at last speaking up.

"Well...ya see, sis...ah..."

But, she hadn't the chance to finish, as just then, there was an almighty knocking on the door behind them. All eyes turned to it, with the Crusaders especially looking fearful. Applejack, noticing this, started to frown before making her way to the door.

"Well, looks like ah'm gettin mah answers this way then!"

Before the older sister could reach the door, however, Apple Bloom tried barring her path.

"No!"

Needless to say, Applejack was not amused.

"Apple Bloom..."

Her words bore a serious tone to them, though just this side of threatening. Regardless of how they sounded though, they had the desired effect, as the young earth pony let out a sigh, taking a step to the side while hanging her head. Applejack turned once more to the door, approaching it and, after briefly unlocking it again, finally got the thing open. On the other side was a pony, a stallion, smartly dressed in a business suit, and bearing a very serious expression.

"Miss Applejack, yes?"

Applejack nodded, prompting him to continue.

"You are, in fact, the older sister of one Apple Bloom, correct?"

The older sister glanced down to the sibling in question before, again, looking to the stallion and nodding. Once more, this caused him to continue.

"I'm here from the agency, Miss. And it is my unfortunate duty to inform you that your sister has recently been involved in a number of actions that, as of now...mean that she is officially shipped."

The effect of those words was immediate, as Applejack took a frightful step backwards, shaking her head frantically.

"No...no! It can't be!"

The stallion lowered his head in a morose manner.

"I'm sorry...but it is."

Applejack's head snapped in her sister's direction, her expression a pleading one.

"Apple Bloom...please...tell me it ain't so!"

The youngster couldn't look her sister in the eye, and when she spoke, it was with a slight wobble.

"Ah...ah'm sorry sis! Ah just...it just happened!"

The older mare kept staring at her young sibling while she spoke up again.

"But...what happened?!"

Apple Bloom looked away, clearly embarrassed.

"Well...it was a couple of weeks ago. Ah was doing some stuff on mah own and...well...ah ended up...dancin with a colt."

Applejack's eyes widened.

"Dancin?! Consarn it, Apple Bloom! Y'all know what that kinda stuff leads to!"

Here, at last, the youngster looked up to her.

"Ah'm sorry! Ah wasn't thinkin!"

Raising her hoof, Applejack rubbed her temples a little.

"Did y'all at least use protection?"

Apple Bloom shook her head to that, prompting a grunt of annoyance from her sister. But, it was here that the stallion once more added his voice to the mix.

"As much as I hate to interrupt, I must remind you what this means. Now that this has happened, Miss Apple Bloom, and the colt..."

Briefly, he rummaged in his suit pocket, pulling out a small scrap of paper, before squinting his eyes at it.

"...one Tender Taps...she and he are now officially shipped. And that means all the usual things. Artwork, stories, putting them together so people can make high-pitched happy squeals. The usual fare."

Applejack let out a sigh.

"Ah understand. Ah don't like it...but ah understand."

But Apple Bloom, naturally, was not so willing, and she threw herself at her sister's hooves, looking up to her with pleading eyes.

"Please, sis! Don't let em!"

But Applejack looked away, her expression pure stoicism.

"Ah'm sorry, Bloom. But y'all know the rules. Ya got yerself shipped, so now ya gotta pay the piper."

The young earth pony let go of her sister, looking down at the ground, rather dejected at all of this. As for the stallion, he was, expectedly, uncomfortable about being in-between this little sibling moment. But, he composed himself, clearing his throat and getting the attention of everypony else.

"If it makes you feel any better, you're actually taking this better than most. Most of the time, they fight be tooth and nail for it."

A brief chuckle escaped him.

"Actually, you should have seen how fiercely the last two fought today."

Needless to say, that earned the curiosity of all of the other ponies, and they looked as the stallion glanced over his shoulder. They did the same, looking over to find, as he said, that there were indeed two other people some distance behind him. There, sitting on the front lawn, was none other than Spike, who, at this moment, was tied back-to-back with the recently-chosen Lord Ember of the dragon-lands. The two were tied by way of a lot of duct-tape, wrapped around them several times over. As Ember struggled, breathing fire in every direction, Spike just looked over to his new audience, before shrugging his shoulders.

"It's my fault, really. I should have seen it coming. Guy dragon and girl dragon? It was inevitable."

Rolling her eyes, Applejack looked back to her sister.

"Alright now, Bloom. Y'all better get goin."

Apple Bloom lowered her head, starting to walk out along with the stallion. As the latter got busy trying to drag the two dragons off, and also making sure not to let Ember get close enough to bite his head off, Apple Bloom looked back to Applejack.

"Just...just promise me this ain't gonna get too bad. I mean, this whole shippin thing, it...it ain't gonna get folks too excited...right?"

Here, Applejack softened her expression, trotting over and placing a warm hoof around her sister, bringing her close.

"Oh, Apple Bloom..."

The comfort the filly was feeling here was, sadly, short-lived, as her sister's next words were tinted with seriousness.

"...y'all have no idea."