The Doctor: Worst Babysitter Ever? ...Maybe.
So that was how a few moments later, the Doctor Last of the Time Lords, Predator of the Daleks and the Oncoming Storm found himself babysitting a young and rather powerful Alicorn Princess. Said Princess's parents had left him explicit instructions on what to do, and what not to do. He thought back to when he was getting them...
"Okay, first off she cannot drink anything that has not been prepared by the royal chefs." Shining warned.
"Why? Scared she might got poisoned?" The Doctor couldn't help but inquire. Shining chuckled and shook his head.
"Nah, she's just very picky." He replied. It was at this point his wife joined in.
"Also, she loves to suckle on things." Cadence said.
"Yeah, I noticed." The Doctor deadpanned using the skills Twilight had taught him, as Flurry just happened to be doing exactly that with his bow tie once more. Bow ties were cool, but could be made much less so covered in foal drool the Doctor mentally grumbled to himself. So humiliating for him.
"Anything else I should be warned about?" The Doctor asked nervously, quite afraid to find out.
"Yeah, she uh..." Shining began, but looked rather sheepish while doing so. Cadence shared his expression. The Doctor began to grow even more nervous and felt a impending sense of incoming possibly regeneration causing doom. Okay, maybe not that bad in reality but some of a certain Princess of Friendship's worrywartness had imprinted on him when he had gone to this body.
"Well, spit it out. I don't have all day." The Doctor snapped. Some of her patientness, or lack thereof as well. Sadly, the Doctor found out what Shining and Cadence were so worried about when he accidently scared Flurry with his annoyance and she did what Luna was infamous for in her youth.
"WAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!"
Flurry's cries shook the castle and crystals cracked and Crystal Ponies fled into their homes. But it soon stopped as quickly as it came when Cadence held her daughter's favorite stuffed duck in front of her and she suckled on it.
"...That." Shining said at last once he had recovered his hearing. "That's what you should be worried about."
"Great." The Doctor muttered.
Looking at Flurry now, with her cooing at him happily in her crib the Doctor wondered what he was so worried about. He almost considered dropping his guard. Almost. To his left, was a cart the catering staff had brought in with Flurry's personally cooked baby food. Personally cooked? Bit overkill the Doctor thought. Then again, if you were royals I suppose you could afford to go a bit overboard. Heck, he had no room to talk really as he came from a family that spoiled their children relentlessly. Him and the Master. Well, it was Missy now but that was besides the point.
"Well, you are kind of cute. For a pony, I mean." He murmured to himself and as he reached his hoof out to tickle Flurry, she did what any young foal or child of any species would probably do. She grabbed it in her mouth and suckled. The Doctor sighed, which he suspected he would be doing a lot lately.
"Well, at least it's not my tie...."
He shouldn't have opened his mouth, as guess what Flurry grabbed with her magic next? The Doctor found a pillar and began beating his head against it.
Eventually, he opted for feeding Flurry her baby food. Well, tried and failed would be a more accurate phrase as whatever he did, she only either made a mess of it on her high chair or just spit it back up.
"I wonder if the lucky parents are having it any easier?" The Doctor wondered aloud.
Canterlot Royal Gardens...
"After that thing!" Shining shouted as he, his wife and the Royal Sisters along with Twilight chased after a giant six legged lizard with many spines on it's back.
"Foul creature, we shall turn thou into a new purse!" Luna bellowed as the creature screeched at her before spitting a thick gunk at her which covered her and Twilight's manes and fur.
"Ugh, this is what the regular ponies nowadays call demeaning." She muttered in disgust before resuming the chase.
Back with the Doctor...
"Eh, I'm sure they're fine. Now, back to business..." The Doctor said, before Flurry spit up on him again. However, eventually he manged to eat some of her food. But now came something even harder, getting her to bed.
"It's okay. This can't be that hard, now can it? She's just a Alicorn Princess. Not like she's a goddess or anything... What is she even the Princess of anyway?" The Doctor mumbled to himself. "Scaring away potential babysitters maybe?" He added dryly as he rocked Flurry. He had to admit, she was rather cute when she was sleepy as she finally drifted off into dreamland. He slowly crept out of her room but then tripped on a toy and fell over. His shout of shock accidently woke up Flurry, and I think you can guess what happened next.
"WAAAAAAGGGHHHH!"
Oh that was it, the Doctor was about ready to give in. He was going to resort to desperate measures, as the old saying goes. He was going to call for help.
"Hmm, I wonder if Derpy's free?" He asked himself.
As it turned out, so she was. But the first thing he was asked was "Weren't you a grandfather once?"
"I... I forgot a few things, okay? It's been a while! Over 900 years, in fact." He mumbled in embarrassment and hung his head as Derpy cooed at Flurry and helped her drift off to sleep with more rocking. It probably helped that she had experience taking care of a foal with access to magic, namely her daughter Dinky.
"Well, that should do it. Let's just not trip over anything and render this whole thing a moot point." Derpy whispered, but then they saw all of the toys in front of them. It was like a potential minefield of things to wake up Flurry. She shared a look with the Doctor, and they both said in unison "Nah, best not."
A few hours later, both Cadence and Shining returned covered in some gunk and nervously crept up to Flurry's room rather scared of what they would find. They peeked their head into Flurry's room and both d'awwwed at the sight of the Doctor and Derpy fast asleep next to Flurry's crib, where she was snoozing with a plush Tardis in her hooves.
"Well, that actually went better then I expected." Shining said.
"Maybe we should appoint the Doctor as our official royal babysitter." Cadence agreed.
The Time Lord didn't know why, but he suddenly felt that sense of doom return.
END
...Maybe the Daleks are better on second thought.
The Crystal Empire:
All was silent except for the cold wind rushing through the frozen wasteland. Nothing made a sound, not even a animal. After all, how could they when there was no animals around to make them? Then, there was a sound breaking the silence.
VWOOP! VWOOP! VWOOP
"Weeellll, that was rather enlightening wasn't it? Okay, so as it turns out Sea Ponies do not like it when you say you've eaten fish at least once. Huh, wonder why?" The Doctor muttered as wind whipped his grey fur and blew his mane in front of his face. He was dressed in what you would almost certainly not wear in cold weather like this. Said attire consisted of a gaudy flower print shirt not out of place from those in Hawaii and sunglasses along with a fez. "Mental note. Spears are not cool!"
Now, you may be wondering what the Time Lord was doing here. King Sombra returning? Lizard people coming up from under the earth? Daleks attempting to destroy the Crystal Heart? Well, you'd be wrong on all counts. It was none of those things actually. Quite recently, he'd heard his companion Shining Armor along with that wife of his had become parents. He wanted to congratulate the two. Mind you, he wasn't sure if he landed at the right time and it was entirely possible he'd landed too early and would just end up creating some awkward moment like when he burst out at the wrong cake at a bachelor party when he was looking for Shining to tell him the world was about to end via Cyberpony/Weeping Angel team-up. Long story.
"Well, here goes nothing..." He said, as he fixed his tie and fussed with his hair. "Geronimo."
"HEEELLLLLOOOO! Anypony home?" The Doctor called as he opened the two large doors that led to the Crystal Palace's throne room. "Huh, I was expecting the guards by now to have been pointing sharp and pointy objects at me. Maybe I should have sent a memo... Nah, surprise visits are cool. Fact."
Then he got his wish as guards pointed said aforementioned sharp objects at him.
"...Of course, there are someponies who don't share this view but oh heck what do they know huh?" He asked.
"Who are you?" One guard asked. The Doctor grinned.
"Glad you asked my good sir. I'm the Doctor, also known as the Oncoming Storm, the Predator and Your Worst Nightmare... among others but we shall not go into those eh?" He replied with a manic grin as usual before bowing. The guards weren't very impressed. The captain gestured to two of his men.
"Take him to the dungeons. We'll let the Prince and Princess decide what to do with him there." He said, and two guards grabbed the Time Lord much to his great dislike.
"Now now, we can talk about this. No need to resort to-Hey, watch it mate! You could hurt somepony with that, like me!" He protested after being poked with a spear to make him trot forwards.
"Alright, what's going on here?" Shining Armor asked as he trotted into the room alongside his wife. "I heard shouti-Doctor, what did you do? Actually, for that matter why are you here?"
"Well, I was going to congratulate you for the baby but these guys thought I was some sort of villain! Mistaken for a villain incidents are not cool!" He protested and Shining sighed before facehoofing. "Release him. He's a old family friend."
"First off, I want to ask are there any threats to the Empire I should know about?" Cadence asked the Doctor. "No offence, but I have heard where you go trouble follows."
The Doctor looked somewhat offended.
"Oh ye of little faith... I can go places without somepony trying to kill me." He said dryly.
"Well you do have a track record." Cadence replied as Flurry cooed.
"She wants milk." The Doctor said simply and Flurry's parents looked at him in shock.
"I speak Baby." He answered, as if that said it all. Shining sighed and rubbed his temples before muttering "Of course you do..."
Flurry cooed once more and tried to reach for the Doctor's tie and pull it off. She eventually decided to just suckle on it. He groaned while Cadence giggled and Shining laughed his head off at the Time Lord's obvious discomfort. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up." He muttered.
"Looks like she likes you Doctor." Shining snorted as Flurry cooed again. The Doctor looked down at her before saying "No, I'm not your mommy, she is. No, she's not just big milk thing and no you can't bump her and your dad off and rule the Empire by yourself." He whispered before looking at Shining.
"Looks like your kid wants to take the Kylo Ren route and take over. Watch yourself."
Shining and Cadence looked at him like he was crazy. Well, crazier then normal anyway. Now the Doctor was the one rubbing his temples.
"...Never mind." He muttered as a guard rushed in. "My Lieges, Princesses Celestia and Luna need you in Canterlot! It's urgent."
Shining swore under his breath. He knew he'd have to leave Flurry behind and the Royal Babysitter was out sick with the Feather Flu. Suddenly he got a crazy idea and looked at the Doctor seriously who along with Cadence grew rather nervous.
"Uh Shiny, what are you doing?" The Princess of Love asked nervously.
"Doctor... This may be the most difficult task I have ever asked of you. Will you look after my child?" Shining said seriously and his tone indicted he wasn't joking although the Doctor wished he was as Flurry continued suckling. He didn't know how to take care of a baby, and one who was a magical princess who nearly destroyed the Empire at that. But then he looked at Shining's pleading face and Flurry's admittly adorable features.
"Well... She is kinda cute... Oh what the heck? I'll do it!"
Yeah, this wasn't going to be too hard. He'd faced down Daleks, Cyberponies, The Master and Weeping Angels among many other things over the years. He could do this! After all, how hard could it be?
