Charades over Tea and Cake

by vorxil

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Original Character, Princess Celestia
Length: 3190

Celestia decided to visit an old acquaintance over tea and cake. Problem was, he was in Tartarus and on rehab. And he might or might not have a few hard feelings. And exceptionally-well repressed rage. All the more reason for check up, no?

Tartarus—home to criminals, destroyers, masterminds and rambling madponies. Its secure pit housed Equestria's most dangerous foes, who were left to rot until either death or insanity claimed them.

Of course, its hellish landscapes and terrors would not deter Celestia from visiting an old acquaintance over tea and cake. Rehabilitation had always been the staple of Equestrian penal policy and what better way to check up on someone than to have a chat over cake?

If only he could stop resisting...

Published 2016-04-20 04:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-20 04:00:01 UTC

An Old Game

Tartarus. The eternally hellish landscape covering its inhabitants in fire, ash and fumes provided a pungent medium for the wails and screams of tormented prisoners, mad creatures and would-be world conquerors, only to snuff out the lamentations with the fury of fire and brimstone. This prison was the final pit stop of Equestria's most dangerous foes on their journey into the cold embrace of death, for those lucky enough to be mortal, and mental asylum for those unlucky enough to be immortal.

Not home, an errant thought echoed in the solipsist void. Home gone. Home destroyed.

The prisoner's cell was engulfed in sickly-green fumes, enough to block the prisoner's echoes. Long and wide walls of fire erupted from the floor. The prisoner eyed the flames attentively with his old electric-blue eyes. Fire. Rapid oxidation. Two thousand and five-hundred and sixty-two degrees. The heat alone made the cell inhospitable to all but the strongest thermophiles.

Storing the information away, he turned his gaze to his black appendages. Black chains anchored to the floor kept the prisoner from moving more than just for the ease of comfort. Wrought-iron chains. Enchanted to protect against heat, corrosion and magic. Strengthened against pressure and stress. Stolen. The shackles were tight but not enough to give sores.

The prisoner's dark-gray belly, however, was slightly sore from his prolonged static position. The rugged floor, dry and hot to the touch, glowed slightly as it carried the burden of the prisoner's immense and shifting weight. He couldn't help inspecting the support structure. Granite floor. Also enchanted. Size of floor straining ethereal bonds. Black-body radiation seeping through. Primitive enchanting effort despite stolen knowledge.

A repetitive audio pattern echoed ever-so slightly outside the cell. The prisoner barely managed to catch the faint clangs over the roaring pyres. Anomaly detected. Unscheduled event. Audio pattern suggests quadruped. Possible metallic support area. Further information blocked by structural geometry and atmosphere. Light fluctuated on the walls in various levels of luminosity as the visitor's shadow danced with the movement of the flames. The flames, however, also blocked the line of sight.

On the other claw, the ethereal waves did not go unnoticed. Spell detected. Shield. Protection from elements. Primitive. Anomaly capable of magic. Calmly, the prisoner gathered more information over the ether to find out just who or what had decided to visit. Observing. Static noise from surroundings. Compensating. Main ethereal wave component blocked by primitive defenses. Secondary available, exemplary of primitive ethereal knowledge. Data indicate deep magical reserves and adequate efficiency. Could improve potential. Removal of inhibitors needed.

As the audio grew stronger, the visitor came into view. A white quadruped, wearing golden regalia and sporting a long spiral horn and pristine feathered wings. A glimmering yellow sphere surrounded the visitor, emanating from the yellow-glowing horn. The prisoner did not miss a heartbeat to turn his gaze to glare at the visitor. Identity confirmed. Princess Celestia. Equine. Alicorn. Confirmed hostile intent. Will not improve potential.

"Good afternoon, my old, dear friend," Celestia calmly greeted with her patented motherly visage and tone.

"Afternoon? I would not know," the prisoner spoke with articulated strain. Beware of lies. Subterfuge is a known tactic of the equine. "You're the only sun down here."

Celestia gave off a sad chuckle. "Yes, that's true." She had to tilt her head upwards to gaze into the black and scarred face of the prisoner. His vertically slit pupil bore down on her accompanied by a fanged smile. His large nostrils exhaled strong winds with strength from the prisoner's large lungs. The winds blew billows of fumes towards her but her shield deflected any danger said fumes posed. "At least you are in a good mood."

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" the prisoner asked, smile still plastered on his face. You're not the only one capable of smiling through the hells of this world. "I do feel it's been too short a time since your last visit, or have I lost my sense of the passage of time?" Eight years and three months and twenty-two days and four hours and six minutes and thirty-five seconds since last visit. Deviation from the expected ten years.

"Is this old mare not allowed to visit whenever she desires to see an old friend?" Celestia retorted.

Old is a truth, friend is a lie. "Of course you are," he answered. "I believe its your royal prerogative." You have no authority over me, equine.

"Care for some tea?" Celestia summoned forth her favorite tea set; the water was boiled in advance. She cast a spell, which the prisoner would no doubt recognize, on a larger-than-average tea cup. How he managed to sense magic despite the advanced spells used to silence detection, she had no idea. His mind and knowledge was still an enigma. A shame, really; the things he could accomplish outside this prison cell could benefit Equestria greatly if only he was not hellbent on the destruction of her country. He'll come around eventually.

"Still the same old small tea cup, Celestia?" If he had eyebrows, one would have risen. A scaled ridge rising would have to do. He shook his head and replied, "When will you ever consider my suggestions and get a large one?" Spell detected. Heat and corrosion protection. Also strengthened. Much mistrust, yet expected. I can be considerate and careful too, you know!

"I'm afraid if I order a larger one, my physician will get worried." She poured steaming tea into both cups and levitated one of them over to the prisoner.

"I think tea is the least of your physician's worries," he chuckled. Stomach black-hole hypothesis still unconfirmed. Size of flank is seemingly unaffected by lethal dose of cakes.

"Hush now, you know it is rude to joke about a mare's size," she chuckled back and brought forth a serving of cake.

"Chocolate cake? I hope you brought something for me." He could not remember the last time he had a proper meal. The chocolate cake would not go well with his digestive system. The size of the cake serving made his mind crunch more numbers. Increasing estimate for critical mass of cakes required for weaponized cake.

"Of course, I brought a slice for you as well." A white enchanted plate was brought forth by her. She gently sliced the cake with her magic and, like cradling her own foal, she levitated the slice onto the plate. With a slight touch of magic, she made sure it would not be ruined by the heat and fumes and served the prisoner. Priceless enchanted cutlery was summoned for both of them.

"Why thank you." He continued to smile, his disgust completely hidden. A bit of drool was quickly slurped back. I would not mind an equine steak at this point.

Celestia did not miss the drool. Perhaps he has finally adapted to a more morally acceptable diet? "You're welcome." She fixed her gaze on his face to analyze his reaction and continued, "I must say, I'm glad you're making progress on your rehabilitation. A few more centuries of progress and you might even be allowed a short parole."

His brow rose slightly, enough to look believable, his intentions hidden from his visitor. "And here I thought imprisonment in Tartarus was permanent." Release is a lie. Equine seeks control, nothing more. Resist her lies.

"Tartarus only exists to contain threats and you certainly seem less threatening these days." She had hopes. Idealistic hopes, but hopes nonetheless. "I'm not a cruel and harsh mistress, friend. My benevolence extends to anyone who deserves it, be it an innocent or a redeemer."

The prisoner noticed a gleam in her eyes. Unexpected reaction. Contradicts previous statements. Explanation required. Inquiring. "Oh? Perhaps I've been mistaken all this time. Pray tell, has something changed? I trust it has nothing to do with the bursts of harmonious magic I've felt lately." He proceeded to carefully manipulate the tiny cutlery to start consuming the cake, if only to keep up the charade.

Celestia's eyes widened. He felt the Elements being used? I know his sense of magic is extensive but this I did not expect. Relaxing slightly, she smilingly replied, "A lot has changed since my last visit. Many days of joy have been had." A piece of cake found its way into her mouth.

"Ah. How could I forget. Your sister has returned, has she not? Sweet little Luna has come home from her lunar vacation," he chuckled, radiating a fake joy. Worrisome development. Updating threat assessment. Need more information on source of harmonious magic bursts.

Celestia couldn't help but feel perplexed as to how he knew. "I was not aware you knew." Then again, she could guess. "I take it you noticed the same burst a thousand years ago and put two and two together?"

Please. Tracking magic is not difficult. Large bursts are even easier to track. Estimation of effects is also simplified with large bursts. "That I did," he answered while nodding. "You were quite emotional during your visit after your sister's banishment. I expected her to return a thousand years later and since there was a similar burst of harmonious magic two years ago and you are currently not emotionally distraught then I'd imagine that she's neither dead nor has been banished again. That leaves only one option. A joyful one."

Celestia's smile grew larger as she spoke, "True. Luna's return was one of my most joyous moments. Perhaps I'll even bring her down here next time. I'm sure she'd love to see you and the progress you've made."

Proposal interesting. Would aid threat assessment. "That would be a lovely idea." His smile never faltered.

Celestia paused her conversation with a sip of her tea. "Then I'll consider it. In any case, perhaps we should talk about something else." She returned her gaze to his face to gauge his reaction. "There's been an interesting development in the Dragon Lands, lately."

"Pray tell." He made his simple response with a smile and risen brow. Nothing good, I bet.

"The old Dragon Lord Torch has stepped aside and yielded the title to his daughter, Princess Ember, in the Gauntlet of Fire." She analyzed carefully his reaction. Dragons had always been a sore subject for him.

Ferals squabbling for power. Ancient hierarchy forgotten. Hollow shells, nothing more. Death would be mercy. "How wonderful. Do give my regards." He couldn't help his smile falter slightly. Maintain composure! Contain rage!

Still a bit bitter, I see, Celestia thought. Oh well, nothing a few centuries can't fix. "I'll be sure to do that." She continued to eat her cake. "I'll inform Spike to send your regards to her."

"Spike?" he inquired with a creased brow. New development. Possible new threat. Pending assessment. He lifted the tiny cup of tea and took a sip. Tea. Oolong. Herbal liquids extracted through hot water filtration. Not suitable for palate.

Having finished her cake, Celestia simply replied with a nod. "Princess Twilight Sparkle's dragon assistant."

Odd development. Spike's lack of natural hostility questions his background. Possibly raised by ponies. Implications enraging. "Ah. I was not aware." He returned to his smiling. "And another princess? Shame I was not invited to the coronation." Four confirmed alicorns. Additional threat assessment needed.

"Indeed." Celestia nodded. "In any case, Spike has been very helpful in teaching Princess Ember the magic of friendship."

So not only have you reduced a proud and advanced civilization to nothing more than squabbling tribal ferals and seized our triumphs for your own but you also plan on corrupting the last of my kin as well with your fiendish ideals! He dropped the smile and glared at the bane of his existence. His restraint, however, was respectable and surprising, even for him. He fully expected to rise to his full height, thrash against his shackles and roar curses at her. Yet he lay there silently glaring as he was reminded of his predicament. The faster he could escape his imprisonment, through force or guile, the better. That centaur was lucky to have had a faulty cell, which was not nearly as advanced as his own nor as deeply located.

"Is something wrong?" Celestia asked. Was he falling back into his old ways? Even with her years of experience reading faces, dragons were never her forte so she wasn't completely sure. Then again, she'd imagine he would have had a larger reaction than simply staring at her if he was.

He quickly quelled his rage and brought the smile back. "Of course not. Your statement was just unexpected. I did not think this Ember would be so quick to accept your teachings." His articulation couldn't be more sincere.

"Oh she is quite reasonable, friend," Celestia said, satisfied he was on the right path. "The others should follow suit with her guidance."

Mark my words, equine, for I will kill you. "How wonderful!" His distaste couldn't be stronger and his stomach would agree. That cake was going to play havoc the coming night.

Celestia glanced around, noting the time. "Well I must say, it's been delightful seeing you again. But I'm afraid my royal duties await me and I have a sun to lower," she said, rising up. She quickly grabbed her tea set and plates and whisked them away with her magic. Smilingly, she returned her gaze to the prisoner. "Till we meet again, friend, at the regular scheduled meeting."

They both nodded at each other.

Celestia wasted no time leaving the cell. Overall, she'd say it was a success. But there was still that gnawing thought at the back of her head that something wasn't right. She suspected that the prisoner was fooling her, but his expressions and reactions made it difficult to judge. His smile just seemed unnatural.

She decided to take a step into a maintenance access way. It was a slightly hidden and narrow tunnel that ran beneath the cell where the psychoactive fumes were released into the cell. She hated the idea of forcing this change upon him, but he was simply too persistent and she still believed he could benefit Equestria greatly with his knowledge of the arcane and mundane. His armies and his military and technological prowess had seen to that in the past when their mere presence had threatened pre-Equestrian society.

His and his siblings' ideals, however, had been slowly seeping beyond their realm and she had feared its power to corrupt her little ponies. Knowledge might be a tool, but the ideals guided its usage and she would not have her little ponies become the cruel and barbaric militaristic meritocracy the dragon society had once been. She only needed to remind herself what pony society was before the tribes had been united and imagine something ten times worse to see how the ancient dragon ways simply had no place in times of Harmony.

Taming the dragons forcefully with magic into something more malleable was not one of her and her sister's greatest moments but it paved the way for the spread of Harmony, even if it had cost the dragons' intelligence and reduced dragon society to the mess it was today. Education could easily help with the former as Spike was a prime example.

Spreading Harmony to dragons was a great challenge as they naturally resisted it. But if Discord could embrace it to some extent, why not dragons? It was only a matter of time and with Ember now within the fold of Harmony, Celestia expected the change to come even faster.

If only the prisoner could be a little less stubborn and bitter and finally accept the world was changing. Nothing was stagnant. She kept reminding herself of that as she eyed the valves controlling the flow of the fumes. Maybe I should increase the dose? Problem was, of course, she was already well above the recommended dose and was afraid of reaching lethal levels. Stars above, how do you resist all my efforts? Why can't you make this easy so we all can live in Harmony?

She mentally crunched the numbers and admonished herself for not bringing Twilight with her. Twilight could probably optimize the dosage. A ten percent increase shouldn't be lethal, should it? Celestia questioned herself. She did not want to kill him. He wasn't a monster, just a bit... misguided. Aggression alone was not a problem as long as it was controlled. Harmony would never have survived otherwise against the many aggressive threats it faced, whether they be monsters or armies. Nor were carnivorous diets a problem as long as the source was regulated as it was in the Griffon Kingdom.

She was not a cruel and harsh mistress...

I can't risk it. Life is sacred and if it kills him then I can never forgive myself. She let the fumes flow at their old rate. She would leave and let the fumes take their time. It was always only a matter of time. I wonder if Twilight and her friends could possibly bring him into our fold even faster?

Back in the cell, the prisoner ruminated on the news Celestia's visit had brought him. She was already well on her way of completely subjugating the last of the dragons to her corrupted control. He desperately needed to escape his imprisonment to either reverse what she had done or if it proved impossible, make sure the remaining dragons would not fall under equine control.

His siblings could help. He needed his siblings to help, for he was unsure of the extent of the corruption and it was likely all of their powers would be needed. However, since none of his siblings had contacted him since his imprisonment and he could not sense them, they were either in hiding or dead.

He did have a fallback plan, should the cleansing of corruption prove impossible. Any leader worth his blood would never reveal his full hand and always have something in reserve.

However, as it stood, he could not act from within his cell. He was not going to give up, though. He would not let that equine corrupt him as well. She could try all she wanted with magic and fumes, but his and his siblings' minds were strong and it would take more than petty primitive tactics and tricks to bend this dragon's mind to the equine's will. It was an old game he was extremely familiar with.

So for now, he waited. He played along and put up charades while keeping his mind focused on his plans and his surroundings. He would tear through the veils of illusions the fumes would shroud him in and protect his perception of reality. That motherly love and warmth? All lies. The wall of flames? All real.

Fire. Rapid oxidation. Two thousand and five-hundred and fifty-nine degrees.

Yes, soon he would be free. And when I am, Celestia, the Dragon Legions will march once more and you will be helpless to stop us. We remember. We will always remember. And you will always hear us, in this realm and the next.

Audite dracones rugire, equi, et timete.