To the sun and beyond:

It was a magical night.

Things may have progressed a little too fast, even for your tastes, but everything had worked out well in the end regardless.

“Damn, I wonder where she is?” you asked aloud, sitting on an expensive gamer chair while playing Dead Space 3 on your Xbox 360. It was currently on pause as you saw the great and expansive outer space with gleaming stars around the Aegis 7 planet. The scene reminded you of her…those sparkling teal orbs that formed the most beautiful pair of eyes you've ever seen in your life… the translucent mane with tiny stars that flowed in a nonexistent breeze… those majestic wings…
You sighed, “Well, the past is in the past. Let’s focus on here now. Where’s-“

*CLANKCLANKCLANK*

“Hot damn! Bobby, is that you?!” No response from your pet. You called for him again and received only the sounds of a breaking dish and a grunt for an answer. You rose from your seat, gun in hand, to discover what the hell that noise was and find who made it.

“C’mon, show yourself! I have a gun and I’m not afraid to use it!” you yelled at the door leading to your kitchen area. You stood alert for whoever might have invaded your house until you heard a small whimper and a squeak. It sounded girlish, so your best guess was that it was a woman.
'Wait a minute. This situation seems too familiar…could she have come back?' you thought as you turned the light on, revealing…

Yep. She’s back.

“Samantha! For the love of… just what in the damn hell are you doing?” you asked, relieved but annoyed.
Said girl stood up, offering you a sheepish smile. She was wearing a very small maid outfit. The outfit would have fit her nicely if it wasn’t backwards.

“Just…um…cleaning!”

“Cleaning.” You gave her a deadpan look as you lowered your gun. It’s WAY too late to deal with this shit now.

“Yeah! I mean look!” She pulled a used dish from the sink. “See this?”

“Yes, I ate chili there yesterday. Why’d-“

You couldn’t finish your sentence as she grabbed the dish with two hands and licked it from top to bottom a few times. She smacked her lips and hummed.

“Mmhmm. Delicious!”

She put the ‘clean’ dish with the others before smiling at you again.

“How long you’d been doing this?” you ask, mouth agape.

“Just a few months! Try not to change your alarm password, it wouldn’t be fun anymore!” She continued to smile at you as if nothing was wrong.

You think you’re going to puke.

<0><0><0><0><0><0>

You literally kicked her out of your home. She wobbled as she regained her composure on your grassy lawn.

“Love you!” she yelled with a wide smile.

“Go and eat shit you goddamn psycho! And leave me alone for god’s sake!”

“I’ve already done that! Try eating more fruit and less pizza!” You didn’t understand what she meant at first, but then you realized…

So that’s why your toilet seat always looked so clean yet felt so sticky. You feel that sick feeling rising up again.

“It’ll be healthier!” She cried, not caring about the weird looks from your neighbors next door.
You slammed the door shut and locked it afterwards.

“Heehee! No matter where you go, I’ll find you!” she yelled, making that irritating laugh of hers before leaving a moment later.

“Hot damn…” you walked back to your living room “I'll never go out with crazy chicks like her again. Why can't they all be more like-“ your words died in your throat as you took in the sight before you.
A large and powerful dark blue horn, a pair of beautiful but strong wings, a mane that looked like space itself ever flowing in a nonexistent breeze, a firmly shaped equine form, and of course, two crescent moon shaped cutie marks on her flanks. It was Princess Luna. The very Princess of the Night and Mistress of the Moon was sitting in your chair and staring at your hi-definition TV, her wings firmly planted around her sides. Everything about her was just as beautiful as you remembered.

“L-Luna?” you asked, nearly breathless. At the sound of your voice, she turned to you. Her face, full of concern, turned into one filled with happiness.

“Anon!” she practically screamed in a high pitched voice. Her wings unfurled in excitement and her horn glowed with a faint blue aura. A second later, her magic aura hoisted you in the air and into her awaiting forelegs.

“Oh, I’ve missed you so much!” She nuzzled your cheek, hugging you tightly. Her tail, wings and hindlegs joined her forelegs in locking you in her tender embrace. You were close enough to tell that her scent was the same, too. You couldn’t believe that this was really happening.

“Are you Luna? Like, the real one?” You separated from her for a moment to look at her face, her smile never faltering.

“Of course it’s me, my dear friend,” she said in her usual, regal voice, booping your nose with her hoof.
“Oh god, you’re really back…” You hugged her back, and she rested her chin on your head, humming softly.

“It fills my heart with happiness that you missed me as much I’ve missed you, my dear Anon.” You separated from her warm embrace and she fluttered her wings cutely.

“I did miss you, but why didn’t you come sooner? How long has it been? Nine months? Ten?”

“I’m afraid so. The night court has been…troublesome, so to speak, and I’ve been working nonstop to fix everypony’s problems.” She lost her happy mood and looked at the ground. Now you feel terrible to ask such a thing.

“Really? That sucks. So, um…”

“But things have turned out well these last few weeks. After your…‘donation,’ we registered an increase in the birth rate of the male population by 8%, according to the C.C.I.R.” she said, regaining her former cheerfulness.

“The C.C.I.R?” you asked.

“Canterlot Center of Investigation about Reproduction” Luna explained.

“Oooohhh,” you nodded.

“In fact, they were so happy about the news that they asked me to bring them more samples to work with,” she said, offering you a wink and a big smile.

“Oh. So I’m just a disposable sperm container? That hurts…” you replied with fake sadness, looking at the floor while wiping nonexistent tears from your eyes. Luna gasped covering her mouth with her hoof.

“Oh no, my dear human! I-I didn’t mean it like that! I, um…I’m truly sorry!” She reached out to you, hugging you hard with her forelegs and wings.

“It’s okay Luna! I was only joking!” you laughed, patting her back reassuringly.

“Why you!” She hit you on your side several times. “Don’t ever jest like that!”

“Hehe, alright. Again, I apologize for that joke.” You rubbed her shoulders and gave her an ear scratch; she relaxed visibly, leaning more into your touch.

“Hmmm~, you are forgiven,” Luna cooed.

“Glad to hear.”

You stopped your ministrations and Luna looked at you with glee. Everything about this mare made you feel kind of…

Special…

“I wish to ask you a question, dear Anon” she asked, eventually breaking the silence.

“Yes?”

“Where did you get this painting?” the Lunar Princess asked, pointing at your TV screen with a wing. “It’s very beautiful.” She turned to stare at the screen again.

“It’s not a painting Luna, it’s a videogame.”

“A videogame, you say?” She arched an eyebrow.

“Look,” you grasped the control in your hands and pressed the Start button, unpausing the game and putting the frozen images back in motion.

“See what I mean? Do you have these where you are from?”

“Indeed we do, but they’re made for the entertainment of little foals. But I have to say that this is way better than anything we have back home. I think the newest game out was about some kind of circle eating little balls and trying to escape from some colorful ghosts in a blue maze,” Luna said, tapping her hoof on her chin.

“Oh, you guys have Pac-man? Yeah, that’s a classic. But we’ve advanced quite far in the field of video games and entertainment since it first came out here. This," you casually motioned to the screen, "is called Dead Space 3. Care to give it a try?” You held out the controller to her.

“Um…it is safe?” She cautiously grasped it with her magic.

“Oh yeah, it's completely harmless. Now look, see that little grey lever? It’s multidirectional, try to move it forward.” She did as you directed and watched with amazement how the character on the screen walked forward in response.

“Good. Now try again, but this time in reverse.” She did, and the character walked backwards. She moved up and down repeatedly and squeed in excitement as Isaac went back and forth.

“Oh my! This is most fun!” She keeps it for some time until you cut her off.

“Okay Luna, you just got started, and these are just the basics. Now try pressing the RT button here.”
You couldn’t see how she managed to press the back button but it shows in the monitor how the character aimed his gun.

“Oooh~ pretty!” You loved how her eyes seemed to sparkle in awe with everything you teach her.

“Good. Now we’re going to go through the hard techniques, you up for this?”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be! This is so exciting!” she exclaimed with glee, and you couldn’t be happier for her.

*One hour later*

“Your Princess commands you to die!” Luna practically screamed at the screen as she shot several enemies down. She was a fast learner, that’s for sure. She managed to handle the controller with ease, pressing buttons back and forth, doing quite well for someone without any fingers. You’d admit that she is almost good as you are in this game.

Almost.

“Who is the one that cast a Necromancy spell upon them!? What’s do you want, you vile monster!?” Luna growled as she saw a legless necromorph crawling his way to her.

“There’s no magic in outer space Luna. They’re brought to life with the help of an alien virus,” you sipped at your soda and offered one to her as she snarled while killing more enemies “and their mission is to kill any living being so they can spread the virus and make more of them.”

“Whatever their mission is, I’ll destroy every single one of them!” She lifted the soda with her magic and sipped at it without taking her eyes of the screen. “What a pleasant tasting beverage. Please, tell me more about this this ‘coke’ juice and from what fruit it is extracted.” The Princess took a few more swigs and returned her focus to playing the game. You chuckled.

“It’s not juice, and it doesn’t come from a fruit either. It’s an artificial drink made with many ingredients and stuff,” your reply.

“Hmm...” She paused the game and made contemplative expression, like she’s lost in thought, just staring at the nearby wall.

“Something wrong, Luna?”

“I feel like I've forgotten something, but I cannot remember what it is. Something important…”
“Well, just think random thoughts until you find-“

“Goodness, Anon!” Her eyes went wide and her pupils dilated in shock. “We were supposed to meet with my sister more than an hour ago!” Her wings opened in full span, hitting you in the chin.

“Ow! Careful with those!” you cried as you nursed your chin where she hit you.

“No time for that! Come on, let’s go!” The agitated Princess tugged on your shirt with her magic, dragging you out of your living room as she conjured a portal in the wall.

“Go inside, quickly!” She ushered you forward, but part of you was a little unsure about this…
“Hey! Stop for just a second! How about-“

“No time!” Luna placed you in front of the portal, then turned around and bucked the living hell out of your butt with both hindlegs, sending you flying into the portal.

“My Buuuuuuuuuuuutt!!! $&-#ª!)@*\?+,º>!)@**\?$&-#ª!"

Author's Note

Edited, all thanks to Starblade.