My Forgotten Story
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My Forgotten Story

By Mist

"For those who wasted away dreaming, those who dared to lose themselves in the fantasy of your romantic thoughts, this is for you. For you who dared to defy what you were told to do, this is my heart going out to you. May you take this plight and realize that we all love, we all breathe, we all dream, and that we all deserve a chance to live. For you, I stain these pages with red."

Rainbow T. Dash

When you're sleeping, it feels so real at times. The irony is we can never seem to remember our dreams. We spend a third of our lives asleep, lost in a fantasy world that shall be destroyed and forgotten in a matter of minutes. We can construct such beauty and elegance, and just as quickly rip it all down and feel nothing towards it. We're so nonchalant about this amazing power we possess over our dreams, and it's ironic.

In our normal lives, we complain that we're not strong enough to do anything. That we can't control anything we'd like to control, yet in our dreams we are Gods, yet we ignore that fact. Sometimes when we dream we are almost certain we don't want to wake up, but we always do. Then only minutes later, out memories of that wonderful fantasy are gone. Washed away and replaced with a much less fantastic reality.

For a long time, I was trapped in a dream; a dream that I thought would encompass my entire life. A dream that I sadly can't even remember anymore. There's even a good chance I wasn't dreaming at all, but just in a state of nothingness. There's really no way to tell anymore.

Forgetful as I am, I neglected to write down what I saw in my deep sleep once I awoke. Science tells us that we forget what we were dreaming of only seconds after waking. And of course, the first thing on my mind after such a long slumber was not to grab a pen. Maybe if I had thought to do that things would be significantly different right now. Maybe my reality would have changed in a different way. I can't say for sure how, but I know if I recalled what I had seen, that I'd have taken it to heart. Maybe important memories of the past were hidden within my dreams.

Either way, this is my story. I warn you now; it’s intended for the thoughtful, for those who will truly read what I am trying to say. I ask you not to judge my choices, my decisions until you see the entire picture. These are my choices, and I won't be apologizing for any of them. I can't promise you'll agree with me, but I am more or less making this for another purpose that will become known soon enough.

This whole story started with a slumber, a sleep cycle that was supposed to be endless, one that was supposed to end me, and in all honesty, I wonder why it didn't. I am curious as to why I was spared from existing only in a fake reality. Why was I permitted to return to the world of the waking? Why was I given this chance?

No matter the reason, I am here now and I intend to make it worth something. I'll make this existence into a beacon of hope, into an inspiration to others. I'll make dreamers turn their heads in awe, and I'll give others the courage to face their nightmares.

This is my story; take it for what you will.

"Wake up; you have just been born into this world. This place is filled with pain, happiness, and mystery, but I have one piece of advice for you; love the ride, and embrace it all. Love it for every second."

Rainbow T. Dash

My eyes pulled open with a bit of pain. It was difficult just to keep my eyelids from falling back down. My vision was as blurred as I ever think it'll be, shy of being blind. I could only make out blobs for a solid two minutes. I could hear muffled sounds that I presumed were voices; followed by more blobs scrambling around the room.

When the muffles started to take the shape of proper sounds, I could make out what was being said. "Turn off the light! Her eyes are not used to it; you'll blind the poor girl."

"I can't believe it... She's actually awake!" Another voice rang in my ears, this one much more gruff, but distinctly female.

"Now don't get your hopes up just yet... Nurse, give me a hoof here!" The male voice shouted.

"Dash? Can you hear us? Hello? Dash?" The blob that owned the male voice got closer and I could feel a hoof on my shoulder.

"I hear you..." I groaned as my eyes rejected the white color coming off his jacket. The blurry figures started to come together and make actual images. I could see a pony with a stethoscope on his neck and a nurse behind him.

"Where am I?" The question felt redundant considering I could obviously tell I was in a hospital.

The nurse's mouth hung open and I could hear sobs in the background from other ponies. None of which I recognized.

The doctor smiled as he held out a light to check my eyes, "You're at the hospital. You've been in a coma for over six months. We thought you'd never wake up."

I stirred in my bed and rubbed my head, "A coma?"

He nodded, "Indeed. That doctor there saved your life." He pointed to what appeared to be a surgeon standing at the door. "You had a very strange case of tuberculosis, he operated on you and with much treatment we were able to cure your ailment, however... You fell into a coma after that."

"I don't remember..." I admitted sheepishly, feeling kind of bad that I couldn't recall this doctor saving my life apparently.

The surgeon at the door spoke up finally, "That's normal. The brain often blocks out traumatic experiences."

I tried to remember something, anything, but it was no use. I couldn't recollect anything that happened before this moment. The doctors were ushering other ponies out of the room, which I presumed were guests of mine. Once they were gone, the first doctor offered a hoof. "My name is Doctor Ailment."

I shook his hoof with a confused expression, "I'm ummm... Well... I don't know..."

His expression quickly turned to a frown, "You're Rainbow Dash." He pointed out.

"I am?" My brow rose.

"Oh boy... It looks like we'll need to do some more scans. Follow Doctor Slice there, he's been the doctor overseeing your case since you arrived here." He kept his hoof on mine helping me stand. My legs were weak and I almost fell over, fortunately the good doctor caught me and held me up while they rolled a wheelchair to me. "You haven't walked in over six months; you're going to need a bit of physical therapy before you can walk on your own again."

Relaxing in the chair I nodded and let them push me where we needed to go. Looking back, I can honestly say it was a scary thing, waking up in a hospital and not remembering how you even got there. I'd say not remembering is one of the scariest things you can endure.

The tests were extensive and tedious, however after they were finally over, they carted me back to my room and had Doctor Slice sit down in a stool in front of me. A clipboard was held in his hoof as he sighed.

"What's wrong, doctor?" I swallowed nervously.

"There's no easy way to say this, Dash...You have amnesia it looks like. Your brain can make new memories, however you can't recall anything from before you got it. I'm not sure how you got it, but fortunately your brain is functioning fine beyond that." He frowned, but gave a hint of a smile at the end of his sentence.

"So, that's why I can't remember anything?" I questioned.

He nodded, "Yes. It’s very possible that your memory may never come back. I mean there is always a chance that it will return later, but we're not banking on that chance. We'd rather press to move forward."

Not really having much to object to, I nodded as well, "Alright, if you think that's best."

"We're going to keep you here for a few weeks to make sure you can function outside, but then we're going to finally let you go home." He grinned and nudged my shoulder.

I faked a smile; I think he forgot that I didn't have a home. There was no sanctuary for me to return to, just a stranger's house, a house that belonged to the pony before me.

"Now try and get some rest." He patted my shoulder as he stood up.

"Doctor", I called back to him, making him look my way. "If it’s alright, I'd like to stay up for a while. I just spent six months sleeping."

He nodded and winked. "Take as long as you like."

"Sometimes we have to break promises, mostly because we can't realistically be held to them anymore. Someday, I'll be able to explain it better probably."

Rainbow T. Dash

When I finally did wake up, I grumbled as I took notice of two white ponies standing in the room. One was leaning in with extreme interest, while the other examined me from afar. They had been talking quietly before I had properly woken up, so I didn't get a chance to hear what they were saying.

The mare grabbed my coat and pulled me in so close that my nose touched hers, "How!? How are you alive!?" She asked.

I still wasn't entirely sure what was going on, "Huh? Wha-?"

"Sweetie Belle, she's confused. Give her some space." The stallion with her said.

She obeyed him with a sigh as she released me and took a step back. "Sorry... What I mean is... You were supposed to die, as strange as that sounds; however you are still here somehow... It doesn't make sense... White Star and I both foresaw it, yet it didn't happen..." She was rambling with her hoof on her chin in thought.

"Err... Do I know you two...?" I blinked.

"Ah, I guess she really does have amnesia then... Still doesn't answer how she survived..." The one I presumed was "Sweetie Belle" as the other pony called her, said.

"Well... I probably shouldn't tell you this, but you were supposed to die six months ago. Don't ask how I know this, but I have a reliable source that had 100% accuracy... Until now. You're the first and only one to defy that. Now the question is why? You don't seem extraordinary by any regard... No significance, yet you were spared... Why?" She rambled in thought out loud.

I shrugged, not really certain what she was talking about, "I couldn't tell you."

She nodded and gave a gentle smile before she pulled the comforter over me, "I guess we'll see what kind of pony the new you will be soon enough. Maybe that is what I am not seeing yet... The new you. You've been preserved for some kind of purpose and we'll discover it soon enough."

"Err... Thanks?" I snuggled under the sheet and let myself relax.

Sweetie Belle winked at me. "Let's keep this meeting between the three of us, shall we? After all, it’s not like anypony would believe you if you told them anyways."

She hopped off the bedside and turned to leave with her companion slowly. "Sweetie Belle." I called out. She turned to me.

"What kind of pony was I?" I asked.

She only grinned and sighed, "It doesn't matter, you're a new pony now. Don't let the past shape you, that past belongs to another mare entirely. Shape your own future."

I smiled at the thought, "How'd you get so smart for a teenager?"

She winked, "I had an amazing teacher."

Sweetie Belle was strange right from the beginning. I think it was safe to say that I liked her already.

"Some believe that when we die we are carried away to another paradise world. A world where we are free from all the troubles of this one. If that were the case, I suppose I had already been there and decided to come back. There's plenty of time for paradise later, only so much for reality now."

Rainbow T. Dash

It had been around 8 weeks since my physical therapy began, and I had managed to get back in walking condition in record times. I was eager to leave this place and go out and see what the world had to offer. I was thirsty to drink from the cup of life. If what Sweetie Belle told me is true, then I was lucky just to be alive, and I was going to make the most of it.

My assigned therapy worker seemed surprised by my progress. "My my, Dash. You came here once before with a wing injury and back then you were resistive to help... Stubborn and refused to cooperate. I know you've lost your memory, but I have to say, the old you didn't like to accept help from others. You always insisted on doing everything yourself. It's a nice change to see you a bit more humble and understanding."

"Really now?" I raised a brow as I did the stretches I was instructed to do.

She nodded, "Often times you'd get very vicious and some of the language you'd use... Well I think you know what I mean."

I paused my stretches and looked to her with concern, "That Rainbow Dash sounds like a jerk."

She shook her head, "No, she was just proud. Pride blinded her a lot of the time. She went on and on about how she was going to be the best flyer in all of Equestria and didn't need any help getting back into flying shape."

I smiled as I stood up and placed a hoof on her shoulder, "I don't feel that way," I said. "I doubt I'd be able to have made this much progress without you."

She returned the grin and nodded, "Well, you have been an exceptional student. It’s easy to be a good mentor when you have such a great student."

"The doctors are saying I can go home tomorrow, whatever that means..." I shrugged.

The therapist sat down on a nearby bench and nodded as she poured herself a cup of some kind of tea from her thermos. "Are you excited?"

I shrugged again, "Not exactly..." I admitted.

The truth was, I had no idea what was out there. I hadn't seen the outside world yet, well... I had, but I was a different pony. It's a hard concept to grasp that at one point Somepony else inhabited your body and you are borrowing it from them. The idea that your very body doesn't belong to you, it's a frightening idea. The idea that one day they could just come back and take back what is theirs and you'll just disappear.

That is what I lived with for a long time, that constant feeling of uncertainty of if you'd wake up tomorrow and just vanish.

"I just hope that when you get your memory back you stay this sweet. I like the new you." She gave me a wink.

"Considering I didn't know the old me, I can neither agree or disagree..." I rubbed my neck uncomfortably as I spoke.

"Oh... Sorry, I shouldn't have said that..." She frowned and grew apologetic.

"Don't worry about it, not like it matters." I shrugged.

"Its unprofessional is all..." She said.

I smiled and sat next to her, "We'll keep it between us, then."

She laughed and nodded. "Thanks."

"As we stand on the brink of oblivion, we realize how little we've done in our time. I apparently stood there and decided I needed another chance. I was lucky, many are not as lucky."

Rainbow T. Dash

I don't think I'll ever forget that first time they let me out into the fresh air. The world around me was far more enormous than I ever dreamed of. The sky went on endlessly and the landscapes were more gorgeous than books I had read in the hospital had described. I remember feeling so small in comparison to that sky. Another life ago, I apparently ruled it, now it intimidated me.

They had a nurse escort me all the way home to Ponyville until we stood in front of the house. The cloud home floated elegantly above the town and seemed far larger than I was expecting. Apparently I made enough to live in such a lavish place. "Alright, Rainbow, you're going to be living here on your own again. We'll be sending some ponies by to check up on you for a while, and if you need any help, don't hesitate to call the hospital. Otherwise you're finally allowed to be at home again." The escorting nurse spoke.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." I bowed respectfully.

She giggled and gave a dismissing hoof gesture. "You should be fine. You've been very cooperative, and you had one of the best recoveries I have ever seen."

"You said I was leader of the weather team here?" I looked up at the house.

She nodded, "Yes, I'm sure they will be glad to have you back. After a little retraining you'll be back in the game."

I sighed, "I hope I'm cut out to be a leader..."

"You'll do fine; it’s in your blood." She nudged my shoulder playfully.

"I'll call you if I need anything." I gave a genuine smile as I took flight to enter the building.

Stepping into that house for the first time was odd. It was left in a frozen state; everything just dropped as if a mare had left temporarily and intended on coming back to finish the ongoing activities. There was still a kitchen knife there on the coffee table that I presumed was used to slice some kind of snack.

The sofa I noticed had a red stain on it, one that clearly has been there for months. They told me that I called the hospital from my home. Perhaps that is where it happened? Right there on the couch, just hacking up blood, barely able to breathe, and fearing for my life. That would have been quite the way to go, I was glad that wasn’t the end to my story.

Trotting over to the sofa, I sat down cautiously and examined a photo on the table. A younger mare with maroon and black mane was hanging off my side with an exaggerated grin in the old picture. I only presumed this mare was one of the ponies that I couldn't remember from when I first woke up.

Over eight months had passed, yet it felt like I was only first arriving. Nothing felt familiar like I had hoped. The doctors were expecting something here to jog my memory, but nothing.

I trotted to the mirror and took a good long look at myself. Turning my head, I wondered if I'd look better with some accessories.

"Who are you?" I questioned to the mare in the mirror, obviously not expecting an answer.

"You left behind a lot of stuff, but not a lot of answers... Well... I guess it’s not your fault, I mean you probably intended to come right back. You never guessed that you'd be in the hospital for over eight months." I laughed at the thought, "I guess foresight wasn't your forte."

I had to cut my conversation with the imaginary mare short though, as I heard the front door swing open and a pegasus that I recognized from the photo barged right in without knocking.

She leapt forward and tackled me to the ground, squeezing the life out of me. "You know... Knocking is genuinely appreciated..." I spoke between strained breaths.

Releasing me, she composed herself and flicked her stylish mane out of her face. "Heh, sorry... I'm just happy to see that you're home."

Standing up, I brushed myself off. "I'm glad... Now who might you be?"

Her excited expression quickly turned to a frown, "Oh... So you really did lose your memory didn't you...? It’s me, Scootaloo." She tilted her head.

I shook my head, "Sorry..? Nothing... I take it you and Dash were close?"

She nodded, "Yeah, we were tight. Best friends even." She stood proudly as she said that.

I smiled and offered a hoof, "Well, it’s an honor then. Some friendly faces are always appreciated."

She took it and shook it a bit violently, "Don't worry; we'll get your memory back before you know it! Until then, I'll help you get situated."

Finally getting my hoof back I shrugged, "The doctors say I may never get my memory back..."

She gave a dismissing hoof gesture, "Nonsense, we'll get you back to normal ASAP."

"Well, err... Scootaloo was it? I don't even know where I'd begin; I mean I don't know the first thing about what I used to be like... Well aside from the fact that I was rude..." I rubbed the back of my neck as I recalled all the stories about how I behaved while I was in the hospital prior to losing my memory.

Scootaloo set herself down on the couch and rolled her eyes. "It's not rude when you know you're the best and you're not afraid to admit it. You are the best there is." She spoke so proudly you'd think she was talking about herself and not somepony she knew.

"The best?" I raised a brow as I trotted to the kitchen to check on some tea that I had started brewing prior to talking to the mirror.

She nodded gleefully as she got up and followed. She was interesting for a teenager. She must have been around 17 or 18 by her appearance.

"You are the fastest flyer in all of Equestria." She pointed out.

That part I had heard before. Enough ponies had referred to me as "Speedy” at the hospital for me to put two and two together. Some had even told me that I had broken the sound barrier on a regular basis. Was it even possible to go that fast?

"Was I really... That fast?" I took the teapot in hoof.

"When did you start drinking tea?" Scootaloo looked over the counter in confusion.

"At the hospital. It's good for the body and it calms the mind. Do you want some?" I smiled as I poured myself a cup.

She gave a retching sound as she stuck out her tongue. "All that stuff is, is water and leaves..."

I frowned and nodded as I sipped quietly.

Her expression turned more serious. "I'll stand by you for as long as it takes to get your memory back, Dash. I promise."

"Why are you so dead set on this?" I asked between sips.

She lowered her head and frowned a bit. "Well... We're friends and... I kind of owe you one..."

This was the first time I had heard about this mare's debt to me. "How so?"

She sat down on a stool that sat in the living room looking into the kitchen. There was a counter there for serving breakfast. "To be honest with you... I had a problem a few years ago. You saved me before I went too far off the deep end. If you hadn't come along... Well I would still be in pretty deep..."

Perhaps her Rainbow Dash had more to her than rudeness?

"Heh... Rainbow sounds like behind her rough exterior, she has a heart of gold." I smiled as I returned to the living room, cup in hoof.

"To be honest with you, not many of us knew... She was always quiet about her emotions." She shrugged.

"Maybe she was shy." I suggested.

"Oh far from it! I remember once we sat here and she tried to tell me about her experimental high school years." She rolled her eyes; clearly it was an awkward memory for her.

I couldn't help but giggle at the thought of Scootaloo and Dash having a conversation about growing up and Scootaloo trying her best to tune Dash out. "Sounds like she was an adventurous girl."

Scootaloo nodded. "And that's why we'll get you back to her as fast as possible! I'll go online and check all I can find about memory loss."

The young mare jumped up and began digging through a bag she had dropped upon entry. After only a moment of rummaging she came across some strange contraption she fastened on her ear. I had seen them before at the hospital but never quite understood them.

"What's that?" I pointed to it while I asked.

She blinked and looked to her ear. "Oh, it's a communicator. They got pretty big right before you went into the hospital. Just about every pony has one now. You can use them to talk to other ponies anywhere in the world and get online."

"Online?" I blinked as she flipped a tiny screen over her eye.

"Oh that's right, you weren't awake when the WiNet was created huh...?" She looked to me as a bunch of random numbers and letters began scrolling in front of her face.

I lowered my head in shame. "I guess..." I was a bit embarrassed that I essentially didn't know what anything was.

"It stands for wireless network. It’s an information sharing system that you can access with any communicator. Essentially any information is available to you with it." She explained.

Sounded like the world went and changed a whole lot while I was out. Even with my limited memory I never recalled this WiNet thing.

"Sounds high tech." I shrugged.

She nodded. "I'm sure it'll help us find a solution for your problem. Do you want me to stay here with you tonight? I know it’s hard getting out of the hospital." She offered.

I declined politely with the shake of my head. "I'll be fine, I haven't forgotten how to eat or sleep." I gave a smile to show I was joking.

Scootaloo nodded and grabbed a scrap of paper on the end table; jotting down her name with some instructions next to it. Offering the paper to me, she gave it with a concerned expression. I took it gracefully and looked to her confused.

"You have a communicator in this house somewhere, probably in your bedroom. If you need me, all you need to do is tell it to call me. It'll take care of the rest." She said.

"Thank you... I really appreciate it... I am sure that Dash knew how much you cared too." I gave her a warm smile, which she returned.

"I don't know if she ever got the chance to see how much I cared. To be honest... I was pretty rotten to her before she saved me... I was surprised she came to my rescue after what I did... I was ungrateful..." Her face looked so sad, like she was going to cry. I imagined though she had purposely hardened herself, as she avoided it.

There was an awkward silence between us.

"Heh, sorry... I didn't mean to get all serious on you there." She chuckled.

I shook my head. "No, it’s fine."

This girl, I could already tell was once closer to Dash than I might ever be.

"We never forget how to feel, regardless of circumstances."

Rainbow T. Dash

A couple of days had passed since I had gotten out of the hospital. With a little training, I was able to take over the job coordinating the weather team that Dash had left behind. Who would have guessed I actually made a fairly decent leader? The others in the group responded quite positively to my skills.

The weather team had an office that we met in when the day began, and where we arranged meetings. Essentially it was my office. I spent a good hour at the end of my shift finishing up getting ready for the next day. This was just another usual night for me.

This particular night though, I would be interrupted. A dark blue stallion with cold white mane trotted in; a winter cap in his hooves that he clearly just removed from his head. I took note of the untamed scruff on his chin.

Bowing his head, he entered the office very gently, as if afraid he'd break something. I recognized him; he was one of the new recruits I had just hired.

"Yes?" I asked poking my head out of my paperwork.

"Well, ma'am... I just wanted..." He shuffled in nervously; I guess the thought that I was his boss made him uneasy.

I gave him a warm smile in hopes it would calm him down. "Hey, why so formal? You can call me Rainbow, what's on your mind?"

He grinned and looked up to me, clearly glad I had said that. "Oh, well I wanted to say thanks for taking me on for this job. I know I'm not exactly the most trained for it..." He rubbed his neck.

I stood up and trotted over to him as I recalled his record. He had moved here from Canterlot where he was a guard prior to this. "Ice Cloud, former Canterlot guard, right?" I leaned in.

I could detect that I was still making him nervous, "Y-yeah..."

I smiled and pat him on the back, "No need to be nervous. You're doing fine. Your numbers are good and I will teach you the ways. Well... As much as I can anyways." I had almost forgotten that I didn't entirely know what "the ways" were. I kept a manual on my desk which I had about 10,000 notes jotted onto. I spent a whole night reading it just last week.

"Oh, thank you. It’s not that though..." He admitted, but quickly covered his mouth.

"Hm?" I tilted my head in confusion.

He blushed and looked to the side, trying to avoid eye contact. His face was burning up it looked like. "I... Er... I'm just not used to working for such a cute mare is all..."

I couldn't help but giggle at him as I rolled my eyes looking away bashfully. "Awwww, there's no need to kiss up. I'm not going to fire you, relax."

"No, I mean it!" He quickly covered his mouth again.

This time a blush appeared on my face. "Oh, well... Thank you..."

I guess I was a little shy around the stallions. He was cute though, in a strange way. His clumsiness made him sort of like a puppy. I took notice of the four earrings on his left ear, and only one on his right. He had a certain charm to him, his untamed coat, and his untidiness was interesting.

"Often we fantasize about reality being predetermined because we want the world to take care of us instead of being ignorant to its action."

Rainbow T. Dash

"And you carry the four, see?" I scribbled onto a paper in front of a young filly as I attempted to show her the correct solution to the math problem.

The yellow filly scratched her head in confusion. She tilted her head to try and make sense of my scribbles that I called math problems. "'Ah don' get it..." She spoke with her light country accent.

I sighed and shook my head as I pointed again. "See how I put it over the two? Then you do the exponent outside the parenthesis."

"Oooooooh! Thanks! That makes a lot more sense... Big Mac was speakin' gibberish when he tried to explain it to me..." She admitted.

Her older brother appeared to be a skilled mathematician. He didn't look like much, but that old stallion was clearly smarter than he let on, even if he was pretty quiet.

"I knew you could get it." I smiled and placed a hoof on the teen's head.

"'Ah gotta say Dash, 'Ah never thought you'd be good at math." She grinned, looking up to me.

I gave a dismissing hoof gesture. "You can be good at anything if you try hard enough. Please though, call me Rainbow."

"Oh, sorry. Rainbow... Anyways, Ah'm glad yer' tutorin' me. These college exams look hard. Ah' have to admit Ah’ was a bit shocked to see yer' name on the tutor roaster..." She spoke as she stuffed her face with some chips on the table.

"I like helping kids for some reason." I admitted with a shrug.

"The old Dash always told me to come back when 'Ah had somethin' cool to be taught..." She frowned as she said those words.

Placing a hoof upon her head I ruffled up her mane a bit, "I'm sure she was just embarrassed by her own skills sometimes. The times she did help you, you had fun right?"

She cooed and nodded. "Oh yeah, Dash was cool. She redefined the word even."

"She sounds like a fun pony." I laughed lightly.

"She was, I hope she comes back soon..." Apple Bloom said with a tone of sadness in her voice.

Part of me felt bad, not because I shared her feelings, but because I was secretly hoping Dash would never return. I wanted her to remain a memory in others’ minds.

“Who knows…” I replied quietly.

"Reality often isn't believed despite the mountains of evidence to verify it. Strange enough though, dreams are often believed despite the lack of any and all evidence."

Rainbow T. Dash

Scootaloo had called me up when I finally figured out how to use that communicator device and asked me to hang out with her at a local cafe. Despite being 18 however, she was still too young to have a craving for coffee, so while I sipped a cup of espresso, she was downing a fruit smoothie.

"Me and Dash used to come here all the time. We'd order a smoothie and talk about the Wonderbolts. Do you remember any of that?" Scoot smiled as she sipped her drink gleefully. The kid had a lot of energy, that was for sure.

I could tell by the smell it was kiwi flavored. I decided to ignore her improper English.

I shook my head and frowned. "Sorry... I can't say that I do..."

"The best way to get your memory back is to retrace your steps. Do the stuff you've always done and you'll remember in no time." She offered me a hoof bump which I took awkwardly.

A voice echoed over to our table causing me to look in that direction. "Ms. Rainbow!" They called out.

Before I knew it, a familiar blue stallion stood at the table, a coffee in his hoof and a tie around his neck. It didn't suit him at all with his trademark beanie hat and piercings.

"Ice, it’s a pleasure to see you again, but I told you before that you can just call me Rainbow." I kindly reminded.

He rubbed his neck nervously, "Oh yeah... Sorry... I forgot."

"Don't worry about it. We have a storm coming this week, can I count on you?" I smiled.

"Yes, ma'am! I'd never leave you hanging." He puffed out his chest proudly.

"What's with the tie?" Scootaloo snickered, clearly noticing it didn't fit his attire as well, like I did.

"Oh? I just... Err... Thought I'd try something different... You know?" He laughed nervously, "Does it look alright?" His face was decorated with a gentle blush.

I smiled and nodded, "It looks fine, but I don't think you need it."

His face lit up as if I had just delivered news he was dying to hear. I suppose he didn't actually like wearing the tie and wanted some pony to tell him it was unnecessary so he'd have an excuse to be rid of it.

"What are you up to, today?" He changed the subject, now appearing to be filled with far more confidence.

"Scootaloo here was trying to jog my memory, no such luck though..." I admitted as I looked over to Scootaloo for a moment.

He frowned as his ears drooped. "So it is true then... I heard a rumor that you had complete amnesia..."

I laughed a bit; apparently I was quite a subject to talk about to some. "You'd be correct there. My doctor says it's likely that I will never get my memory back."

"I'm sorry to hear, but I'm always available to talk to. Do you want my communicator number?" He was already retrieving a pen from a nearby table and snagging an old receipt that somepony had left behind.

"That sounds like a good idea. I could always use more ponies to help me these days. I appreciate it." The moment I finished that sentence, he already had his number written down and handed it to me. I just giggled as I took it from him graciously.

"Well... I won't bug you two anymore; it was nice meeting you, Ms. Scootaloo." He bowed to Scootaloo, whom gave a very lazy goodbye gesture.

I watched as Ice made his exit, trying not to make it too obvious that I was staring, though with his back to me, that was hardly a challenge, at least for him.

“What a loser…” Scootaloo chuckled.

“He is a very hard worker, I’ll have you know.” I pointed out as I took another sip from my drink.

Scootaloo shrugged and leaned back in her chair, noisily sucking down her drink. “Sounds like he is into you.”

I shrugged, “Guess so. Though he could just be trying to be nice…”

She rolled her eyes again and leaned in. “Come on, Dash. He gave you his number faster than you could say yes or no, he wants you and he’s pretty bad at hiding it. I’d be careful around him.”

“I suppose that is true…” I took another gulp of the bitter caffeinated drink.

Scootaloo gave a simple nod of the head.

“That or he could be looking for a raise; I mean you’re in charge after all…” Scootaloo proposed as another explanation for Ice’s interest in me.

“Alright, alright, I get it. I’ll watch out for him, okay?” I was more or less just agreeing to keep her quiet on the subject.

“Anyways… It’s been pretty hard for our band lately…” Scootaloo changed the subject.

I faked interest, “Oh?”

Scootaloo’s band was a common subject with her. I didn’t know too much about it except that she was quite proud of it, and she was a vocalist. That and it had a dragon in it.

“Well, our bass player… She died a while back. She was a good friend of ours too… Been hard not only to try and find a replacement, but also… Things have been awkward between us since she passed… We didn’t know about this whole secret life she had…” Scootaloo sighed.

I could relate. I felt like my life before all of this was a big secret too.

“I’m sure that in time it’ll pass.” I smiled as I reassured her.

“Well… And then there’s Spike. He’s been weird for a while now. Far quieter, easy to aggravate. He used to be the most docile dragon you ever met, now he’s more of the kind of guy where you don’t want to do anything to get on his bad side.” Scootaloo frowned.

“Maybe he’s just going through a hard time? I can relate…” I laughed a bit and brushed a lock of mane out of my face.

She gave a reassuring smile to me this time and reached her hoof out and placed it atop of mine. “I’m positive you’ll get your memory back eventually. I’ll stay with you as much as I can. I’ll even skip school if need-be.”

I shook my head, “No, that’s alright. Don’t miss school for me. The last thing I want is you getting in trouble for me.”

She sighed and nodded. “Alright, but you better tell me if you need anything.”

“Promise.” I nodded.

“The answer to all of our problems is often simple in essence, but only made more complex when we apply the circumstances that we call “emotions” to it.”

Rainbow T. Dash

I had gone to the salon and gotten a rather extensive “trim” with my mane. Gone were my long locks, and in their place a rather stylish upward side swept look that I definitely could get used to. It meant my mane wasn’t in my face as much and it certainly would be cooler in the summertime. Ultimately, I felt short hair felt more like me than long. It definitely was an advantage as well that I happened to have it on good authority that Ice had a thing for short mane.

Scootaloo felt the change was strange, but she certainly was trying to adjust as the two of us were skipping rocks across the pond; a skill that I apparently was not particularly stellar at.

“Man, you used to be the champion at this…” She commented as she hurled another that skipped a good 5 times.

I shrugged as I failed to achieve even a single skip. “Guess memory is a huge part of skill. Suppose this dispels the whole “natural athlete” thing doesn’t it?” I chuckled at my own joke.

Scootaloo just sighed and sat down. I could sense her frustration. “You look so different with that mane cut, I swear. Like a whole different… Err… Well you know what I mean…”

I nodded as I took a seat next to her.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“It’s just like…” She took a deep breath and exhaled before continuing. “When Trixie died, I thought we all knew her so well. She was like a big sister to all of us, you know? Then after the news tells us that she’s dead, she had this whole other secret life that none of us knew about. And now…” She paused again and decided not to say what I suspected she wanted to say, instead moving on to the next part. “I just feel like I don’t know anyone anymore…”

“Try not even knowing yourself.” I replied.

She nodded and sighed. “Yeah, I guess it’s even worse for you, huh?”

“Not always. I mean I at least get the enjoyment of experiencing a lot of stuff for the very first time.” I replied.

She giggled and leaned against my shoulder. “I suppose I never thought of it like that. You get to do everything all over again, kind of like a treat in some regards.”

“Yeah, until I make a fool of myself for having no idea what I’m doing.” I giggled.

“You’ve always been a fast learner though, so I’m sure it’s not a big problem.” She attempted to cheer me up.

With a shrug, I looked out to the pond. “I suppose I always was, huh?”

“We often don’t consider possibilities that are right there. We purposefully overlook them in substitute of outcomes we desire.”

Rainbow T. Dash

I had finally gotten the nerve to give Ice a call that wasn’t work related. I figured if he was too bashful to make the move, I would have to. Truth be told though, when he actually answered the call, I was the one choking on words that time. I remember stuttering something fierce while I tried to ask him what he was doing tomorrow night. I practically sounded like I had swallowed my tongue when I tried to ask him if he’d like to accompany me to a movie.

Fortunately, my poor speaking skills aside, he agreed. The film was some horror movie about a serial killer who hacked up his victims and stowed them away in his basement. Was all very cliché stuff, but it didn’t stop me from wincing at some of the more “colorful” parts. I remember spending half the film ducking and hiding into Ice’s chest (thought I’m sure he didn’t mind that). Overall, the film was alright, but it was more about the experience than anything else. Ice laughed a bit at my cowardice, but he was soothing regarding it at the same time. He’d pet my mane and tell me it was alright and tried to keep his laughter to a minimum. Though I caught him a few times sniffing my mane, I let it slide.

We smelled of popcorn and cheap hotdogs, but we left the theater that night with a laugh and I wrapped around his left hoof as we walked. It must have been probably the most fun I had in quite some time; all the stress of work and everything else just gone.

The two of us trotted together through town, a smile on my face, and one on his as well. Ponyville certainly looked different late at night, and despite all the lights, electronic monitors and other flashy displays plastered throughout the town, it was still peaceful. I was told that several years ago this town used to be just a simple little rural community with minimal industry. However over the past few years it was clear that Ponyville was growing closer to being a city than a town. The population had swelled, the job market had increased and thus the town was thriving.

“So uh… How do you think work tomorrow is going to go?” He asked, trying to break the silence.

I giggled and shrugged. “Let’s not talk shop. The last thing I want to think about is work… Even if it is one of the few things I can remember.”

He bit his lip uncomfortably. I knew I struck a chord with that line, though intended as satire, he must have been unsure if he should comment. Taking the risk, he decided to bring up the subject anyways. “So… The doctors really say you’re not going to get your memory back?”

I nodded. That was what I had been told every time I had gone back thus far, that the chances were very unlikely I’d ever go back to how I was before. “That’s right. They said the chances are extremely low that I’ll ever regain my old memories.”

“I see… But there’s a chance then?”

I blinked and stopped walking; he turned to face me to see what was wrong. “Is that a problem?”

He shook his head. “I just wonder… If you go back to being Dash… Well… We won’t really be the same friends we were before… You’ll be a different pony…”

I had thought that myself many times. However as I had been told repeatedly the chances of that happening are slim to none at this point. There were many nights that I stayed up thinking about it though. One day Dash could just resurface and I would simply… Go away. That would be that.

“What would you do if I go back to being Dash?” I asked innocently.

“Well…” He paused and looked up in thought before continuing, the little scruff on his chin actually looked adorable when he looked up like that. “I suppose I’d have to accept it. If Dash didn’t want me as he friend all I can do is move on and hold onto the memories that you and I have.”

I smiled and took his hoof back in mine. “If she doesn’t want you as a friend, then there must be something wrong with her. I’m sure she’d see how wonderful you are, just as much as I do.”

He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Heh… Thanks…”

“Let’s not talk about this anymore though, the fact remains that Dash is gone and probably not ever coming back. Let’s stop talking about hypothetical situations.” I winked as I tugged his hoof to get him to follow me.

The two of us were well on our way back to my home, but something of interest caught my eye. Something I did not see many of, so naturally it would be something that stood out, a dragon, well a young one anyways. I recognized his shirt, it was the logo for Scootaloo’s band. Putting two and two together, I surmised that this must have been Spike. He certainly looked the part of a grumpy dragon that’s for sure.

I approached cautiously with Ice still at my side, “Spike?” I asked.

He blinked and looked in my direction as he tried to hide a cigarette he was smoking. It was rather pointless though as I had already seen it at this point. “You’re Spike, correct?”

He chuckled and then decided not to bother hiding his smoke from me. “Oh right… You lost your memory didn’t you?”

I nodded. “What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be at home at this hour?” I inquired.

“Who cares.” He shrugged as he took another long drag.

“Don’t you live with… What was her name…” I paused in thought, trying to gather the name I had heard.

“Twilight.” He finished my thought for me.

“Yes! Her! She must be worried about you.” I plead.

He shrugged yet again as he exhaled. I ignored the rudeness of the smoke being blown into my face and swatted it away with a hoof. “Dunno. Don’t really care either. Besides I’m sure she’s got her hooves full with Sweetie Belle and White Star.”

So that was where the two of them lived.

“What do they have to do with anything?” I questioned.

Finishing off his cancer stick, he tossed it aside. “The two of them have been a wreck for some time. White Star moved in a couple years ago when his parents felt it would be better for him because of his depression. Sweetie Belle and he hooked up and when her sister died, she came to live with us too. Both of them have improved a little, but they have a lot of issues. Twilight is run thin just getting the two of them back and forth to therapy sessions.” He coughed. “None of that seems to be working though.” He added.

“It sounds like she could use your help, Spike.” I suggested.

“What can a guy like me do to help with something like that?”

“I think Twilight really just needs someone else’s support. You should do that for her, right Ice?” I looked back to my companion who nodded, though unsure of what was going on.

He finally added a comment. “And I’m sure that Rainbow will gladly help you guys out if you ever need it.”

I nodded. “I’ll come over tomorrow in fact. How do I get there?”

Spike’s expression turned to that of a confused one. He slipped out a piece of paper and scribbled an address onto it and handed it to me. I had seen the name of the place a few times before: “Thousand Oaks Library”. It was a rather large tree with a library inside near the middle of town, it was difficult to miss.

“You’re not the same like this, Dash…” He commented.

“Call me Rainbow, and why’s that?” I questioned.

“The old Dash had a mentality more or less of staying out of stuff… I like the new you better though…” He cocked a small smile before stretching and going to make his leave.

Part of me wanted to thank him, but the other part of me knew it might be disrespectful to shame Dash like that. Still though, it felt good to have someone actually like me for me and not because of Dash.

“Feel; it’s one of the most important things you can do with your life.”

Rainbow T. Dash

That library was probably the most interesting place I had ever entered. Not because of all the books, but because of the experience I would receive there. I don’t think I can sum up what happened even today. It was extremely mystifying to say the least.

With a gentle knock on the door, I adjusted my hair clip hoping I looked presentable to be out and about today. Though there was a good chance that this Twilight Sparkle probably already had an image of me that was not going to be met anyways. Apparently she and Dash were good friends for quite some time.

Opening the door, a light purple unicorn smiled as she greeted me, “Rainbow Dash! My goodness it’s been so long… It’s sad how we grew so distant; I apologize for not getting the time to give you a call.”

I shrugged and rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah… Uh… I wish I could say I even would have noticed…”

She squinted and adjusted some thick rim glasses perched on her snout as she tried to make sense of my statement. “What do you mean?”

Another voice came out from behind her. “She has amnesia, Twilight. She doesn’t remember you.” From behind her, Sweetie Belle poked her head out, that same glazed and uninterested look in her eyes that I remembered from our first meeting.

Twilight stood upright and coughed. “Oh… I see… I thought that was only a rumor… Do you really not remember, Dash?”

“It’s Rainbow, and I’m afraid so. I don’t remember anything from when I was Dash. May I come in?” I smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

She nodded furiously and gestured me inside and shut the door behind me. The inside of the building smelt of dust and old paper; definitely a library that was for sure. On the table on the basement floor was a stack of books on various subjects half read. It appeared as though Twilight spent a lot of her time studying and little sleeping. There on the chair in front of the table was a comforter from a bed. I guessed she probably slept at that table quite often.

“Let me get you some tea!” She trotted off into the back room.

I blinked and sat down noticing Spike was fast asleep. I suppose that being up that late eventually caught up with him.

“So, you’re aware that nothing you do will bring back your memories of being, Dash right?” Sweetie Belle spoke. White Star who had entered only seconds prior nudged her shoulder. “It’s alright; she has figured it out anyways.”

“Figured what out?” I tilted my head.

“You died. Or at least Dash died.” She said.

“Well… I suppose if you look at it that way… Why though?” I asked.

She smiled. “That’s how it was supposed to be. She died and you were born. That’s how it’s probably going to stay too. At first it didn’t make sense to me, but now I get it…”

This girl was making little sense to me. “I don’t understand… How do you know all this?”

“There is a lot that I can see that you can’t. Even right now…” She smirked as she tilted her head up; looking at my hair it appeared.

I didn’t get a chance to ask any further as Twilight entered with a set of four teacups levitating with her. She cleared off the coffee table and offered me a cup as she sat across from me. Sweetie and White Star sat on either side of me on the couch while I took the cup and blew on the hot beverage. “Thank you…” I replied.

She nodded and sipped her tea. “So you really don’t remember anything huh? Nothing?”

I took my first sip. Green tea, which was a blessing as it was the kind I was most used to. “Nope. Not a thing.”

She frowned. “When do the doctors say you’ll get your memory back…”

“Probably never.” White Star answered for me. Twilight gave him a scolding look, but I shook my head.

“No, he’s correct. The doctor’s said the chances of me ever getting my memory back are slim to none. There is a good possibility that I will have to spend the rest of my life like this.” I finished his thought.

I was expecting sadness from her, but instead I got a smile. “Well, I suppose we’ll have to make new memories together won’t we?”

She was the first pony that I had met who knew Dash that didn’t seem upset that she was gone. “You aren’t mad that your friend is gone?”

She shook her head. “She’s not gone. Friendship runs deeper than memories; it’s something in our hearts. While you may not remember me, our friendship is still there so long as your heart is open.” She touched her chest with a warm smile as she did so; it was as if she was reading it right out of some corny romance novel.

“You think so?”

The unicorn nodded. “Well while you may not be Dash, you have a very close relationship with her. Dash is like an old friend to you.” She winked.

“A friend that I can’t remember…” I sighed.

“But she’s closer than you think. And any friend of Dash’s is a friend of mine.” She replied.

It was safe to say that Twilight was wise beyond her years, albeit a bit sappy and corny at times. She was a sweetheart though; I could definitely see what Dash must have saw in her.

“So I heard you’ve had your hooves full?” I leaned in.

Twilight gave a gesture for the two younger unicorns to leave the room. They both set their cups down and did as silently instructed. The three of them had some kind of strange unspoken language going on that I couldn’t possibly comprehend that was for sure. Perhaps it was a unicorn thing.

Once the two were gone she let out a sigh. “Those two are a handful… They have a lot of therapy sessions, but I’m not really certain they’re working. They’re very distant, anti-social and cryptic. They’re very resistant to help, and I’m up many nights just trying to figure out how to help them. They don’t sleep very often, and it worries me…”

“Have they ever talked to you about ponies dying?” I asked taking another big sip. The tea was actually quite delicious.

She nodded, “So they go on about that to you too? Yeah they’ve been obsessed with death and dying for some time. I think it stemmed from Sweetie Belle’s sister’s death. It was rather untimely and I don’t think Sweetie Belle ever got over it. White Star must have just followed suit…” She sighed and shook her head, with her hoof on her forehead. “I don’t want to have them committed because well… My aunt trusted me with White Star, and Rarity with Sweetie Belle and I don’t want to just give up…”

“How much about the subject do they usually tell you?” I asked, trying to gage about how much Twilight knew about this strange obsession of theirs.

She shrugged, “Very little. They speak as if they are talking in code, and naturally I’m not in on the code.”

I guessed that Twilight must have known little about the fact the two seemed to be claiming they could predict one’s death. They must have kept their cards close to their chest with her. Probably because they were aware that there was a chance she could just commit them at any point.

Could such a thing be possible though? To predict death? How would one accomplish that? No, it had to be impossible. My thoughts were racing, but I decided not to share my ideas with Twilight. It looked like she had enough on her plate.

“It must be hard on you.” I set my cup down as I spoke.

Her eyes seemed to agree with me as she nodded. “Indeed, but they are family to me. I love them, and that will never change.”

“They’re lucky to have you.” I smiled.

Lucky was an understatement. Twilight was practically a saint, but I had a feeling that Sweetie Belle and White Star may have appreciated her more than she knew. After all, they went out of their way to keep whatever secret they had from her. Perhaps a sign that they wished to keep the burden off of her.

“It’s very easy to allow fiction to take over what we wish out of reality. What’s important though is knowing when fiction needs to stay fiction.”

Rainbow T. Dash

Some nights later, I recall sitting on my bed browsing the WiNet for anything regarding memory loss that I could find. I still was fairly curious if it was possible for Dash to just randomly resurface. All I could find though is many articles that talked about certain “triggers” that could recall lost memories, but no real definitive way of knowing what those could be or how they could just sprout up.

It was a rather uneventful evening until I got a mysterious instant message from a contact that I was not familiar with. Leaning in and checking the screen over, I squinted trying to see if I could remember who this pony was, but no such luck. Perhaps they were an old friend of Dash’s?

LARS: So, you’ve discovered quite a bit of interesting info regarding Sweetie Belle and White Star, I see.

RainDown: Err… Do I know you? If you’re a friend of Dash’s, there’s sort of a long story about why despite this being her IM username she may not recall you…

LARS: Yes, I’m aware. You lost your memory. No worries, as Dash didn’t know me either.

RainDown: Err… How did you know all that?

LARS: It’s all right here in your virtual diary.

They had read my virtual diary? How was that possible? It was locked onto my communicator.

RainDown: How is that possible? It’s saved locally on my communicator.

LARS: I see you’ve learned a thing or two about communicators. Let me educate you a bit further: while your files that are locally saved can’t be accessed without using your communicator that doesn’t stop other ponies from connecting to your communicator and viewing them through it.

RainDown: Such a thing is possible?

LARS: Yes. You’re connected to the WiNet right now are you not? As a result I am able to access everything on your communicator. By the way “Memory” isn’t a very strong password.

RainDown: I don’t appreciate you going through my personal files! That has to be illegal.

LARS: Probably.

RainDown: PROBABLY?

LARS: Relax, I’m not particularly interested in your secrets anyways.

RainDown: Says the person who just read my diary.

LARS: I only did so because I wanted to know something.

RainDown: You know you could just ask…

LARS: Given the nature of what I wish to know, I doubt you’d have cooperated.

RainDown: How are you sure of that?

LARS: Your behavior suggests you wouldn’t trust me. I’ve been watching you for a few days.

RainDown: How?

LARS: There are several cameras all over Equestria. Many of the streets in Ponyville have cameras that the police use to catch criminals, same with public buildings. They’re all connected to the WiNet, though encrypted.

RainDown: So you’re with the police?

LARS: No.

RainDown: Then how are you able to access them?

LARS: I am a hacker.

RainDown: A what?

LARS: It means I am able to find ways around digital security measures and bypass programming that would otherwise hinder me from getting into things that normally would be off limits to me; in short anyways.

RainDown: Sounds… Shady.

LARS: Yes, I suppose so. Though there is little you can do about it.

They certainly were rather sure of themselves. This “hacker” must have been quite confident that they were one of the only ponies with this kind of knowledge.

RainDown: How did you become a “hacker”?

LARS: Reverse engineering mostly. The WiNet and the Communicator OS have a lot of security holes. I imagine I am probably the “first” of this skill. It’s interesting how ponies will trust a program with all their information and never consider how air tight it “really” is.

RainDown: Okay… I’ll pretend I understood most of that… What exactly do you want?

LARS: Well, I need you to do me a favor.

RainDown: No offense, but after reading through my personal stuff I don’t really feel too “friendly” with you…

LARS: Do this for me, and I’ll leave you alone.

RainDown: Wow, what a great offer. How can I possibly resist!?

LARS: Your sarcasm is quite obvious.

RainDown: Oh good, I was laying it on fairly thick.

LARS: Look, I can’t tell you much but what I can tell you is that helping me is going to help other ponies.

RainDown: How so?

LARS: I can’t go into too much detail, but there is something that requires my expertise or a lot of ponies are going to get hurt. I know I come off as shady, but I need you to do this for me.

RainDown: What exactly do I have to do?

LARS: I need you to get me onto Sweetie Belle’s communicator.

RainDown: Can’t you just “hack” onto it yourself?

LARS: In theory, yes but I need an in first.

RainDown: Huh?

LARS: Essentially for me to break into something I need to know where it is first. For example I got into your communicator by getting into Scootaloo’s. She called you and thus I was able to travel from her to you. When the two of you linked up, I was able to follow the connection. While I could just hack into the King Enterprises communicator log, it would be fairly time consuming to search through every pony in Equestria for her. Not to mention I don’t know who her device is registered to.

RainDown: Uh-huh… Sounds… Complicated.

LARS: It is. The short version is I need you to call her so I can get into her device.

RainDown: Why though?

LARS: Something in your diary has me interested in what she knows.

RainDown: Alright, but one problem, I don’t have her number.

LARS: Get it then.

RainDown: Why don’t you get it?

LARS: I can’t risk revealing myself to her.

RainDown: Alright I guess… I mean this all still sounds really shady but I’ll help you… I don’t know why but for some reason… I trust you. Something about you I guess…

LARS: Thank you, Rainbow Dash. All you need to do is get her to call you or you call her with your communicator and I’ll make the connection. I’ll need about two minutes to get into her system depending on how secure it is.

RainDown: Alright, give me a few minutes. I’ll see what I can do.

Who could I call to get a hold of Sweetie Belle? Scootaloo? No, I remember her mentioning that the two don’t talk much, and I imagined that this stranger would have probably already figured out how to connect to her through Scootaloo if that were the case… Twilight obviously could, but it’d look strange to call her and ask for Sweetie Belle’s number.

Still though, it was the best plan I had.

Dialing Twilight’s number, I took a deep inhale and exhale as I prepared myself for what was to come.

She answered rather quickly. “Rainbow! How have you been?”

“Fine. Hey Twilight, I wanted to help you out with Sweetie and White.” That’s it, keep the conversation feeling natural.

“Oh? That would be a huge help, thank you!” She exclaimed.

“Yeah, just toss me Sweetie’s number and I’ll call her and let her know she can talk to me whenever she needs to.” I replied.

That seemed to work. “Oh, alright. Her number is 889-001-0046.”

“Thanks, I’ll give her a call.”

“Thank you so much, Rainbow. It means a lot to me that you’re trying to be helpful.” She responded.

“Yeah, no sweat. Anyways I’ll give her a call now.” I said and then hung up.

With another deep breath, I gave the newly acquired number a dial, not sure exactly what to expect.

Sure enough Sweetie Belle’s voice came through the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, Sweetie. It’s Rainbow. Twilight gave me your number; I just wanted to tell you that if you ever needed somepony to talk to that I am always available.” I tried to not sound nervous.

“Are you sure you’re not calling because of what I said before about you dying?” She answered.

Part of me was curious about that. “Yeah… Actually what was up with that? What aren’t you telling me?”

She giggled a bit and replied rather slyly. “I can’t tell you much more, Dash. Even if I did, I doubt you’d believe me anyways.”

“I doubt that. I’m a pretty good listener, and I’m open to stuff.” I attempted to coax her into telling me her secret.

“Let’s just say that I know why you are who you are now and leave it at that.” She responded. Before I could even respond, she added “Anyways, thank you for the call, Rainbow. I’m sure we’ll talk again soon enough.” With that she hung up and I instantly got a message from my new “friend”.

LARS: Got it. I’m in, thank you.

RainDown: No problem… I guess…

LARS: I know you had amnesia, but like that I suggest you forget these conversations ever happened as well.

RainDown: Sort of hard…

LARS: Don’t worry, I’m about to delete all the logs on your end anyways. There won’t be any record of me being here.

RainDown: Uh-huh…

Needless to say, they weren’t bluffing. That next second everything on my screen went blank. No matter how much I scrolled up, everything was gone, the entire conversation just completely deleted. Whoever this pony was, it was safe to say they were not going to reveal themselves to me.

I wish I could say I understood what this encounter meant, but that was not the last time I ever encountered this mysterious “LARS” and he remained just as cryptic then. Your guess is as good as mine as to what significance it was.

“If I could understand everything that ponies do, I really wouldn’t have a reason for existing; life would all just be too predictable.”

Rainbow T. Dash

“So, how are you doing lately, Dash?” A concerned Scootaloo asked as we sat at the usual café.

“It’s Rainbow, and pretty decent actually. Between work and such, and hanging out with Ice.” I giggled as I said that last part, a small blush upon my face.

“Ugh, you actually like that loser?” She made a fake retching noise.

“He’s really sweet when you get to know him.” I replied, taking a sip of my coffee.

“He just isn’t your type is all… You were always into more… Cool people.” She remarked.

I shrugged, unsure of what else I could say besides, “Ponies change.”

Changing the subject, I leaned in and tried to see what info I could pump out of her about Sweetie Belle. Truth be told, I was still rather curious about the mysterious contact from the other day. Maybe Scootaloo knew more than I did.

“So… How often do you and Sweetie Belle talk?” I asked.

The orange pegasus grew a confused look upon her muzzle. “Hardly ever actually… Me and her have so little in common these days and she’s been distant ever since she first got depressed years ago. It’s like we speak two different languages. The only pony she really talks to is White Star, why the sudden interest?”

“I was visiting Twilight the other day and it looked like they can be quite a hassle for the poor girl.” I replied.

She just shrugged. “I guess. I wouldn’t know though. We rarely talk and when we do, she’s always being cryptic and mysterious with me. Though I’m sure I am far from the only one in that category. The girl is like talking to mystery novel at times.”

“Why do you think that is? I mean surely there is a reason?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Dunno, all I know is she says weird stuff always about death and whatnot. Going on always about how we need to value our time or something.”

I had noticed that. All of her most mysterious moments revolve around that subject. This made our first encounter that much more interesting. What could she possibly mean by I was supposed to die? Was it possible for a pony to be able to see when one was going to die? How though?

“Say Scootaloo, what if you knew when you were going to die?” I decided to see if I could get some input from her.

She had an expression of awkwardness, clearly not being comfortable with the line of thinking I was forcing. “How would somepony know that? That’s impossible.”

“Is it?”

She nodded and took a big slurp from her smoothie. “Yup. That would fall under black magic, outlawed in Equestria. Very very few are capable of it since there are no mentors for it available. You’d have to travel outside of Equestria and even then locating a master of the dark arts to teach you would be very hard. Most of them live in secret.” She took another sip. “We learned about it in school.”

“What if somepony just naturally learned it?” I proposed.

“Not possible. Ponies can’t be born with black magic, only white magic. Black magic is learned, it’s a perversion of magic. One that is quite punishable I might add.” She spoke.

So that ruled out Sweetie Belle having black magic then. I doubt a girl as young as her could locate a mentor. Even if she did though, there would be no way to know about it as she would never tell anypony given the circumstances. So that meant it was more likely there was something else going on. Was it possible that she had some kind of technology that allowed her to do so? It was feasible I supposed, after all communicators are capable of far more than I ever imagined.

“So, let’s assume you had the ability to see when somepony would die… What would you do about it?” I asked.

The young girl laughed. “Probably become a super hero and save ponies’ lives.”

She had a point. If Sweetie Belle was capable of seeing one’s death she would probably have been doing more to prevent it. Not to mention if I recalled correctly, her sister was murdered. If she had such a power surely she would have used it to spare her sister such an untimely demise.

“I would wager I’d do the same thing.” I replied with a smile.

“I think only someone with a heart as cold as ice wouldn’t. How could anypony bear to know that all of their loved ones were going to die while they sat and did nothing to stop it.” She commented.

Such a fate would be worse than death, I imagined. I wouldn’t wish that upon anypony.

“I can’t apologize for who I am, or what I want to become.”

Rainbow T. Dash

Ice and I had just made it back to my place after another night out together. We went out to a dinner and he graciously offered to pay for my half of the meal. I figured the least I could do was invite him over and let him have a drink or two.

We sat there on the couch laughing as I took a sip of my wine. “Can you believe Thunder Clap? The guy basically shows up to work clearly still half drunk, he’s bumping into everything and asking me where the French toast is so he can get to work.”

Ice let out a snicker as he remembered that morning at work. Thunder Clap seemed to have a history of just being the butt of all jokes. It was difficult for him to avoid engaging in activities that would make him look ridiculous.

“Why haven’t you fired him yet?” Ice chuckled.

“Honestly, I would but when he sobers up the guy has some of the best stats out there. He gets everything done in record time and takes on extra work without expectation of more pay. I can’t really complain about his productivity that’s for sure. He may start out behind everyone else, but always finishes first.” I giggled.

“Who’d have thought.” Ice replied.

I took another sip and smiled as I caught the stallion looking at me. His usual shyness playing on his face, but for a brief moment he had a hint of boldness to him. He leaned in gently and placed a hoof on my cheek which instantly lit up and increased in temperature.

I think it went without saying that I was nervous beyond words. This was all still very new to me. “I… Uh…” I stuttered.

“What is it?” He asked.

I placed my hoof on top of his that sat on my cheek. “Ice… I can’t.”

“Why not?”

I looked away and lowered my tone. “I can’t let you get attached… What if… I just woke up one day and I went back to being Dash? I would lose all the feelings I developed for you… I would be a different pony…”

With his other hoof, he turned my head back to face him. “I don’t care; if now is the only time I get to be with you then I want to make the most of it. I want to live like tomorrow is not going to come.”

I didn’t know what to say, I attempted to make something come out, but I couldn’t even get a grunting noise to escape my throat.

“Even if you don’t remember, I’ll remember for you. Every memory we create together I’ll hold onto. If you’re only here for a little while then I want to be here for every second.” His eyes were locked on mine when he spoke, his voice very tender.

“Ice… If I do this… If I let this go further… I am going to risk hurting you.” I replied.

“My heart already hurts from not being with you.” He smiled.

With those words he began to lean in further, I didn’t resist. Closing my eyes, I allowed him to come in and his lips to touch mine. For that moment, I felt electricity throughout my whole body. My mind relaxed and my tenseness faded while I placed my hooves around his neck, locking him into the kiss. I could hardly contain myself; I just wanted to press for more.

The moment it broke, I smiled and pressed my forehead to his as I kept my eyes on his. “I’ve wanted this for so long… I’ve just been afraid of going after it…”

“You don’t have to be afraid anymore. Never be afraid to be happy.” He spoke, rubbing his snout against mine lightly.

Probably the best advice I had ever been given.

“Throw ambition to the wind. Live.”

Rainbow T. Dash

I was checking out at the grocery store, gathering some ingredients for some curry that I wanted to make that night when I had perhaps my most mysterious run in with Sweetie Belle yet.

The mare was very frantic and scatterbrained as she fumbled about the store looking for something. With a potential purchase of a box of hair dye in her grasp, she threw the item onto the counter. I took note of the sunglasses she grabbed and threw up on the conveyer as well.

There was something off about her demeanor. Her mane was a mess and she was extremely twitchy. I wondered if this had to do with her contact with the mysterious “LARS” that I sent her way. Then again I doubt I could ask about that because I probably wasn’t supposed to know that information.

“Sweetie Belle.” I tried to get her attention.

She twitched and instantly turned her head in my direction in a manner similar to how an owl would. “Oh, Rainbow. Hey. Sorry didn’t see you there.” She said.

There was no doubt about it, she had something on her mind. “Are you alright? You seem positively fidgety today…”

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m cool. Everything’s fine. Just… A lack of sleep is all; I’m running on a lot of coffee at the moment.”

It was fairly strange that such a young girl had such a coffee addiction. “What’s keeping you up?”

“School.” She instantly lied.

I knew that was unlikely. Scootaloo mentioned that mid-terms had already passed and that Sweetie Belle always did well in her class. It was unlikely she was so concerned about school that it was keeping her up at night. There was little doubt that this had to do with whatever LARS had to discuss with her.

“Hey… I probably am not supposed to know about this… But have you been contacted by somepony that goes by LARS?” I decided to take the chance and mention my knowledge of the mysterious stranger.

Sweetie Belle perked up and trotted close to me where her voice became hushed. “What do you know about LARS?”

“Not much… They contacted me asking to get in touch with you… Why?” I replied, confused.

Sweetie Belle got very close and gripped the fur on my chest while she brought me down to eye level. Her expression very serious as she spoke, “I highly suggest you forget everything you know. Mention this to nopony. Do you understand?”

“And why is that?” I responded, a drip of nervous sweat running down my neck.

“LARS has connections that we cannot even begin to comprehend. Whoever he is, he doesn’t wish to be made public knowledge. If I were you, I would forget everything I know and tell nopony that you ever met him, do you understand?” She growled.

“What has he done to make you so scared…?” I questioned.

“It’s not important, Rainbow. Just listen to me. LARS shouldn’t be messed with. He will not tolerate anyone who is a threat to him. You would be wise to forget you ever met him, and never bring him up again.” She threatened.

Whatever LARS had done or said must have been the real deal. Very little could shake up Sweetie Belle, and she usually was capable of keeping her composure shy of our first meeting. This was the most frantic I had ever seen her, even more so than that first encounter. I decided then that it was wise to adhere to her warning.

“Understood.” I responded. “I won’t mention him again…”

She released me and sighed. “Good, trust me, it’s for your own safety.”

“Yeah… No sweat… But Sweetie Belle…” I paused and she looked back to me. “What is going on?”

Sweetie Belle sighed and grabbed her bag of purchased items. “Something big is coming, Rainbow; and I’m not sure if any of us will be ready for it.”

“Some mysteries will remain unsolved. Perhaps that’s for the best.”

Rainbow T. Dash

It was getting colder and colder, and I found myself wrapped up in a scarf and a jacket while I stood there in the middle of the night in front of a statue of the princess of the land. There in her glory, Celestia looked down upon us all, watching over Ponyville with her stone eyes. I imagined the real thing was far more impressive than this carved rock though. No doubt in my mind that the princess was as elegant as they came. It was a soothing thought.

I wouldn’t be having this moment alone though, a guest came to share it with me, though one I hadn’t invited nor knew.

Sitting on the bench, a young mare probably close to my age elegantly lighted her dress a bit before sitting down and adjusting her scarf. I could see her rubbing her hooves together for warmth while her breath froze in the air. Her ears were donned with pearls probably more expensive that I could ever afford, and much of her was covered in jewelry expensive enough to put my entire home to shame.

In her long pink mane, a gemstone hairclip in the shape of a butterfly held her hair out of her face which was that of a haggard girl who seldom slept. It was very evident that something was troubling her.

“It’s a beautiful statue.” I commented, not turning to face her.

She nodded. “It truly is…”

“You know, I hear she’s very beautiful in real life too.” I smiled as I turned to her.

She only caught me with the side of her gaze. “I know… We’ve met.”

“That’s pretty lucky. She sounds like she is a great pony. She helps ponies regularly, and looks out for ponies.” I nodded happily at the thought.

“Are you in need of help then?” She asked, her cyan eyes locked onto the hunk of rock.

“I… I don’t know… Maybe I guess?” I shrugged, not entirely sure. “I guess I just needed to believe in something, that’s all…”

“Belief gets us nowhere. Believing is just an excuse to do nothing, in order to move our lives we have to take action.” She responded with an annoyed tone, her expression taking a dip to that of discontent.

Did I offend her?

“Let me ask you something…” I began, and before I gave her a chance to let her object or agree I began my statement. “Have you ever felt like everypony expects you to be something you’re not? Like… Your whole life is being driven by others and not you?”

“Every single damn day…” She nearly growled her response as she grinded her teeth a bit. Clearly this was a sore subject with her.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to…” I bit my lip, unsure of how to amend the situation. “My name’s-“ She cut me off.

“Rainbow Dash, I know. Amnesia I heard?” She said.

“Yeah… How did you know?” I asked with a raised brow.

“Gossip around town. It eventually reaches noponies like me too believe it or not.” She said.

I supposed that stories like mine didn’t happen a lot in a town like this. Given the size of the town, it wasn’t much of a surprise that I was a curious case.

“Pardon my rudeness. It isn’t very ladylike of me…” She sounded like she almost resented admitting that fact when she said those words.

“Are you alright?” I finally inquired.

“Far from it.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked.

“No. Like I said before, nopony can help. I made my bed, I lay in it. We all must do the same.” She shrugged.

“Then why did you come here?”

She laughed and shook her head. “It’s stupid.”

“I’m sure it’s not as stupid as my problems.” I laughed.

She finally turned to meet my eyes. “I was taking comfort in the thought that maybe even somepony as big and as important as her has her own demons to deal with. That’s all…”

I squinted at the thought. “Little bit bitter wouldn’t you say? To take solace in the suffering of others?”

“Maybe I’m just beyond the point of kindness… Ironic I suppose given my history…” Her head turned back to the statue.

“That’s a sad story…” I admitted.

“It was my choice as is yours. Your story doesn’t have to be like mine, you can always do something about it. Just have the courage to stand up for yourself…” She grew quiet. Her eyes looked back to mine with a hint of sadness. “Don’t let my story become yours… Know when to take a stand before it’s too late…”

“Alright… Thanks…” I gave a weak smile.

She sighed and stood up. “Otherwise you’ll just end up looking in the mirror every single day regretting what you see…”

“I never caught your name…” I spoke.

“It doesn’t matter… My name isn’t important to anypony. It’s just a word with no meaning anymore.” She replied.

“I’m sorry to hear…”

“Don’t be.” She smiled as she took her leave.

I had no clue who she was, but her advice was probably the best I had received in so long.

“I’m always arguing with myself, how very typical. That’s really one of the few qualities that doesn’t set me apart from anypony else.”

Rainbow T. Dash

“Who were you?” I spoke as I stared down the mare in the mirror of my bedroom. She met me with the exact same gaze.

“You left behind a lot of questions, but not really many answers…” I sighed as I fell back onto the bed with my face now turned to the ceiling.

Whoever Dash was would for the most part remain a mystery to me. What I did know about her was what I was told from others and I had a small deeper glimpse of what she was like due to the fact that I had her body and her belongings. I could draw inferences based upon many things.

Judging by the lack of cosmetics she owned, it was a safe assumption that she wasn’t too much into appearances, though the sport and athletic obsession clued me into that.

As far as what she did behind closed doors, most of that was a total mystery. I could tell she must have been sexually inactive for the most part. There was a lack of any kind of birth control or contraception in the house, and in one of the drawers there were a couple of pornographic magazines. From them I could determine that Dash must have either been bisexual or just uncertain about her sexuality.

Not a single sign of a boyfriend or girlfriend in the house in recent years, though there were a few pictures in old photo albums from her high school years that I suppose could be assumed as old lovers.

Dash must have lived a fairly private life, so asking around was not likely to bring any answers.

Scanning over a piece of paper she had tucked away in a drawer behind some clothing though piqued my interest. It appeared to be a list of some kind, tons of items on it related to weather.

Cloud

Rain

Thunder

Lightning

Sky

Sun

Hail Storm

At first glance I thought it was some kind of list related to work, but then I took note of the corner which had a note scribbled on it.

Not to self: Remember to talk to doctors about this.

Doctors? All of what I knew pointed to that Dash had no clue she was sick until days before she had the episode which placed her in the hospital. Judging by lack of medical records laying about the house, it was safe to assume she didn’t have any other medical problems that I would have known about, so what could she have wanted to speak to doctors about?

I was tired of having questions, I needed answers. Tomorrow, I would go to the hospital and ask what I hadn’t been told.

“It’s common that we fear that which we don’t know. We do so because we are scared of outcomes that could be negative. It’s perfectly natural though.”

Rainbow T. Dash

“Are you sure you want to be here with me…?” I asked the stallion I had come to see as my boyfriend over the past few weeks.

He nodded and gave me a comforting gesture as he petted my cheek with his hoof. Despite his messy appearance at times, he was very gentle when it came to me. Part of me always knew he was a softie behind his rough exterior, and his nervousness when we met confirmed it.

“I don’t know what we are going to find out, but this may be the only way I’ll ever really know more about what kind of pony Dash was. I don’t know why, but I just feel like… It’s important for me to get a clear picture of who she was…” I rubbed my head trying to wrap myself around my own reasoning. The truth was, there was just this nagging feeling in my head to dig up the truth about who Dash was for some reason. Since the months ago that I had awoken from that coma there was always that annoyance of not really knowing who I was scratching at me.

A lot of the stories I heard about Dash seemed to point to the idea that she was changing around when she got sick. There was no way she was able to predict what was going to happen, was there? Could Dash have been coming to grips with her soon-to-be fate and thus had a complete change in demeanor? Was that even possible?

That was why I came to the hospital; I had to know why Dash changed so much in her final weeks. Was it connected to Sweetie Belle’s supposed sixth sense?

“I want to be there with you regardless of what you discover, Rainbow.” Ice smiled. “You shouldn’t have to do this alone. I’ll be with you the whole time.” He assured.

I nodded and took a deep breath as I approached the reception counter and requested the doctor, “I would like to speak with Doctor Ailment.”

“Oh, Rainbow Dash! We haven’t seen you in months, I’m glad that you seem to be doing so well. I’ll get him right away.” She gestured for me to take a seat while she fiddled with a communicator.

Taking a seat next to Ice, I fiddled with my own communicator as we sat there. Ice stood up only seconds after taking a seat and fidgeted before speaking. “I’m going to use the bathroom.”

As he left, I slumped in my seat, checking messages. To my surprise a new one popped up at that exact moment, from a pony that I didn’t expect to hear from ever again.

LARS: Rainbow, you really need to learn to leave well enough alone.

RainDown: What? I haven’t mentioned heads or tails of you since my talk with Sweetie Belle, honest.

LARS: I’m not talking about me actually.

RainDown: Oh? What then?

LARS: You’re digging up stuff on Dash, aren’t you?

RainDown: How’d you know that?

LARS: I may have been keeping tabs on you a bit.

RainDown: I thought you were going to leave me alone!?

LARS: I just needed to be sure you weren’t getting too curious is all. After all, did you really think I would take your word at face value when you said you were not going to go snooping around about me?

RainDown: Well then I think it’s clear from your searching that no such snooping has occurred on my part.

LARS: Yes, I did. Why is that exactly? Most ponies would be more curious than you’ve been.

RainDown: I don’t care about who you are or what you want. I just don’t want to be involved, that’s all. Whatever you’re involved in is no doubt shady, and I don’t want to get tied up in that.

LARS: Clever girl.

RainDown: Yes, now can you leave me alone?

LARS: Very well, I just wanted to tell you that you may not always like what you find when you go digging around.

RainDown: I’ll keep that in mind.

LARS: Very well. As always, there will be no record of this conversation. Good luck with your findings and your boyfriend there.

Sure enough, just like before, the entire conversation vanished from my device. It was still a mystery how he was able to do that. I knew better than to go digging into that though.

Ice returned just as the receptionist called the two of us to see the doctor. I nodded and took Ice’s hoof as we trotted down to his office.

Doctor Ailment sat there with a bunch of files stacked upon his desk as he scribbled down various medical notes. “Yes? May I help you, Rainbow?”

Ice and I took the seats across from the good doctor and I inhaled and exhaled as I prepared myself mentally for what may happen. “Doctor, I was hoping you could tell me more about Dash’s records before I woke up… There’s still a lot that doesn’t add up to me…”

He sighed and set down his pen and dug through his desk. After only a moment he located a file and offered it to me, but pulled it back a bit. “Are you certain, Rainbow? I’m not exactly sure how you’re going to take this…”

I gulped and nodded, “Yes, I’d rather know the truth.”

The doctor placed the file on the table as he adjusted his glasses. “Very well…” He paused before continuing. “Dash was rushed in here after a very severe incident. Her tuberculosis had actually gone undetected before it got aggressive. She didn’t even really notice it before her episode.” He explained.

I began to flip through the file, “So, she never really saw it coming?” Ice said.

The doctor frowned, “No. She did not.”

My eyes fixated on a chart that showcased dates of when Dash had come to the hospital, two of them not exactly fitting the timeline. “Wait a minute… It says here that Dash showed up twice a few weeks before the incident…”

“Yes, unrelated though.” He replied.

“What did she come in for?” Ice asked for me.

“An ultrasound.” The doctor replied plainly.

Ice and I paused and froze for a few second. I blinked after I finally took in what he said. “Why would she need that?” Ice asked nervously.

“She was pregnant…” I replied as I flipped to another page. Right there on her accident report it was clear:

Rainbow T. Dash

Age: 28

Sex: Female

Allergies: None

Pregnant: Yes

“So… How far along was she when…?” I was choking on the words, completely dumbfounded by this discovery.

“A few weeks.” The doctor said.

“Who was the father?” Ice chimed back in, finally snapping back to reality for a moment.

“Deceased. He had a surgery about a week after she got pregnant, there was a complication and he did not survive.” Doctor Ailment wasn’t even giving us his full attention; I supposed he was used to delivering this kind of news.

So Dash was to be a single mother that meant. “And she wanted to continue the pregnancy?”

He nodded. “She was excited. Her parents died a few years back in an accident, so she wanted to give the child the middle name of her father or mother.”

That explained the list, it was baby names.

“What happened to the baby? I mean I was in a coma for a long time, did it go up for adoption or something?” I asked.

He shook his head. “The child didn’t survive. They died shortly after you entered your coma. The pregnancy never came to term.”

I looked down; my eyes wide open, not fully processing what I was being told. It all made sense now, Dash was about to dedicate her life to that child. Dash literally had everypony she cared about erased from the world when she left. Her parents, her child’s father and her child, all gone. It was almost eerie how almost every pony that she cared about was gone with her, it almost felt… Fitting that she left too.

“There was nothing left for her here…” I finally said.

Ice blinked and leaned in to try and comfort me. “She lost the last thing that was important to her… She was able to go easily then… At the very least…” I spoke.

“It wasn’t your fault, Rainbow. It just happened… Right?” Ice consoled as he looked to the doctor for reassurance.

The good doctor simply nodded. “Correct, the infant’s death was completely out of anyone’s control. We tried all we could to save it, but it just wasn’t feasible.”

“Sometimes things we want just can’t happen. We need to learn to accept that.”

Rainbow T. Dash

“Rainbow, you can’t beat yourself up over this. What happened wasn’t your fault…” Ice attempted to calm me as I ran the idea of Dash’s life and child being snatched away from her as I came into existence. It was difficult to erase that image out of my head.

“It’s not that simple… I mean… They just… Because of me…” I could hardly get words out of my mouth; I was so choked up over the idea.

He grabbed me and forced me to face him as he spoke. “Listen to me, Rainbow. It doesn’t matter what happened to them, it was not your fault and it has nothing to do with you. They’re gone and you’re here.” He explained.

“Yes but-“

He cut me off. “No buts. The past is unchangeable. You can’t bring them back, and how things are now is probably how things are going to stay. You can spend the rest of your life regretting what happened to them, or you can live.”

I blinked as tears welled up in my eyes. I had been mulling this problem over for a few days now; ever since we found out from the hospital what happened, I wanted to erase it from my memories so badly. I couldn’t bear knowing what I did, the guilt was eating me away.

Ice was right though, I had spent so long worried about figuring out who Dash was that I had forgotten that Dash was long gone and who she was didn’t have to shape who I was.

“You’re right… I’m sorry…” I wiped my eyes dry as I replied. “Dash truly was remarkable though, huh?”

“You’re going to be remarkable too, you just need to give yourself more time.” He said.

“I just feel like everypony expects me to become Dash…” I admitted sheepishly, remembering all of the ponies that had expected my memories to just pop back up and we all would continue where we all left off like nothing had happened.

With his usual soothing effect, he grazed my cheek gently with his hoof and gave me that innocent smile of his. I felt my body slowly reduce in tension, my heart slow down from the stress and my mind slowly clear. “It doesn’t matter…”

I was nearly in a trance as I responded meekly. “It does matter…”

He shook his head. “You are who you choose to be, whether that be Dash or Rainbow. You have to make that choice, not them. More importantly you need to stand by your decision.

I looked down and thought about it for a moment. What did I want? What was important to me? I suppose I wouldn’t be able to do anything until I answered that question to myself.

“When it comes down to it, you’ll just have to either forgive me, or move on. There’s nothing more I can do.”

Rainbow T. Dash

Scootaloo and I decided to meet up at an old clubhouse that her and her friends used to gather. Looking around, it definitely appeared as though they didn’t gather there any time recently. I could see old drawings decorating the walls of young children whom clearly had more free time and energy than they did today.

The rest of the clubhouse was rather dusty and empty. Scootaloo not liking the depressing atmosphere lead us up into the tree. Taking flight, we both perched on a strong branch close to the top as we watched the stars in the sky in silence for a few minutes. She had something on her mind, and that’s why she had called me here. Part of me knew that this wouldn’t be something I wanted to hear, but I bit my tongue and decided it was best to give her the time of day she needed to get this out.

“So…” I started, rather awkwardly.

“So…” She replied, keeping her eyes forward.

I rubbed my neck nervously as I tried to formulate a way to begin this conversation. “So… What’s up?”

Not exactly my most tactful approach, but somehow it worked.

“Things have been changing a lot around here, you included…” Scootaloo replied solemnly.

“Ponies change.” I shrugged.

She nodded and stood still, the gentle breeze making her thick mane dance about freely. “I feel like we’re not making much progress in getting your memory back…”

“I’ve actually been meaning to talk about that…” I replied.

She blinked and turned to me, clearly not expecting this subject from me. I had her full attention.

“I…” I choked on the words for a moment. “I’ve decided… I don’t want them back… The doctor’s said it was unlikely my memory would return anyways, so I decided that this is who I want to be…”

Scootaloo grew a look as if she was in pain. “You… You can’t be serious…”

I nodded. “I am serious. Look, I know this is difficult, but I have to be true to myself. I can’t just be this other pony that you want me to be just because everyone keeps saying that’s who I’m supposed to be. I have to decide who I am, no one else.”

“So you’d just give up like that?” She almost growled her reply.

“You have to understand… If Dash were to come back… I’d disappear… I’d cease to exist probably… It’d be killing me… I don’t know much about Dash, but I’m not her…Please… I need to do this for myself…” I pleaded.

She sighed and looked back to the sky with a gentle nod, clearly not wanting to accept this outcome, but begrudgingly doing so.

“We can still be friends though.” I smiled and placed a hoof on her shoulder.

She swatted my hoof away almost as soon as it made contact, a bit of fire in her eyes was evident. Her gaze was powerful and filled with anger. “No…” She grunted.

“Why not?” I asked.

She looked to me and I could see tears starting to leak down her cheeks. “I can’t… That pony you were… She was my best friend… She looked out for me, and she was more to me than you’ll ever understand… I loved her… I never even got to tell her how I felt…” She was trying to contain herself and prevent a full blown sob. Looking me up and down she shook her head. “When I look at you… You look just like her… But you’re not her… Just some stranger who stole her body…”

I couldn’t even think of anything to comment with, so I let her continue.

“And you want me to be friends with you? How can I? All you will ever do is remind me of the one pony that understood me being gone. So my answer is no…” She hissed.

I closed my eyes and sighed. “I understand…” I replied.

“Good, so you understand when I say that I hate you. I hate everything about you. I wish you didn’t exist, and honestly… I think you’re selfish to kill the girl I love so that you can live… Dash wouldn’t have done that… She’d have some damn honor… She’d have sacrificed herself for you in a heartbeat…” She was sobbing between breathes of her angry rant.

“I…” I paused. “I’m sorry…”

It was all I could think to say, even if I didn’t fully mean it. It felt like what I should be saying, but the truth was that I wasn’t about to let anyone make me feel bad for my choice, even if they were being emotional.

She stood up and spread her wings to take off. “Yeah, me too.”

With those words she took flight and vanished quickly. It was the last time I ever saw Scootaloo. While I felt for her, I knew in my heart that who I was couldn’t ever be the pony she wanted me to be. To this day I still wonder whatever became of her.

I guess you probably expected everything to work out? Maybe for everyone’s problems to be solved? Well I wish that was how this story went, but it just isn’t. We all make choices, and this was mine. I need to be true to myself, and that’s why I don’t regret any of it, and no one can ever make me.