The Turning of the Screwball - The Strange Case of Button Stitch

by Warren Hutch

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Rarity, Slice of Life, Sweetie Belle, Main 6, Screwball, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 13756

First part of the "Screwball Trilogy". Mysterious goings on and strange transformations.

Button Stitch is an excessively regular mare with excessively regular habits, but something strange has begun to happen to her in the wake of Discord's rampage. Can Rarity and the rest of the girls get to the bottom of the strange manifestations of nonsense that have been plaguing Ponyville?

Continued in Screwball Mio Amoré

Published 2012-06-16 06:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-16 06:34:02 UTC

Chapter 1

The silvery sound of the bell hanging over the Carousel Boutique's front door rang merrily as its owner hurried out into the crisp morning air, the sun gleaming on her pristine white coat and sending subtle shimmers of purple through the slightly frayed curls of her luxurious violet mane.

A "Back in Five Minutes" sign was hung in the window in a cloud of sparkling unicorn magic, as Rarity strode past a large boulder that sat by the path, pointedly ignoring it with the slightest upward turn of her muzzle.

A horn painted sign was posted next to the huge stone, with delicate calligraphy stating "The Management of Carousel Boutique humbly requests that customers not bring this object up in conversation. Ever." followed by a flowery "Thank you!" and signed with a cursive R with stylized eyes gazing out from the loop.

She stopped a few steps beyond it, turning back with an annoyed toss of her mane and calling toward the still open door. "Please do come along, Sweetie Belle, I'm far enough behind schedule without you dawdling."

At her call, a young unicorn filly with soft green eyes and a powder purple and pink mane came out, dragging her hooves with a slightly petulant look on her primrose colored face. When her sister caught up, Rarity closed the door with a flick of her horn and they set out across the town square.

Sweetie Belle was pouting. "I don't know why I can't just stay back at the boutique."

Rarity paused for a moment while she suppressed the real answer, then gently chided her sister. "Why Sweetie, don't you want to go shopping with your big sister anymore? If I believed it for even a moment I'd be crushed."

The younger unicorn looked up at her sister with wide eyes, not quite realizing she was teasing. "Oh NO! I love shopping with you, Rarity."

She pursed her lips as her innocent brow furrowed. "It's just that I get so bored when we go to the notions shop. Sure there's all this neat stuff there, but I can't touch anything or even look at anything and Miss Stitch always watches me with this mean look on her face." She let out a little sigh. "I... I don't think she likes me very much."

Rarity let out a slightly strained chuckle. "Oh, that's not true, Sweetie. Miss Stitch just..." She cocked her head as she grasped for the proper phrase. "... well... she just likes for everything to be just so."

Sweetie Belle looked pensive. "Scootaloo says her mom says that Miss Stitch has oppressive convulsive disorder."

Her sister gently corrected her. "That's obsessive compulsive disorder, dear, and I'm not sure I'd go that far in describing her."

The younger unicorn smiled earnestly up at her. "Well, she says her mom says you have it too."

The alabaster mare twitched her tail and cleared her throat, then favored her little sister with a forced grin as her sapphire blue eyes flashed. "Oh, she says that she says that, does she?"

Sweetie shrugged, totally missing her sister's change in demeanor. "Yeah, so I guess it can't really be bad if you have it."

At this, Rarity's expression softened to a fond smile. "I tell you what, darling. If you're patient and behave yourself while I get what I need from the notions shop, I'll take you over to Sugar Cube Corner for a cookie, all right?"

The little unicorn grinned a wide grin and gave a small hop. "Oh yeah! Sugar Cube Corner is like the opposite of the notions shop! I promise I'll be as still and quiet as Tom... uh..."

She caught herself as her sister stiffened and drew in a sharp breath, her hackles rising. Sweetie glanced at the boulder receding behind them as they walked, and hastily amended her statement. "I... I mean, I'll be like a little mouse. You won't even know I'm there."

The elder sister's demeanor relaxed again as she looked down into her sibling's open little face. She chuckled as she shook her head. "I'm always happy to know you're there, Sweetie. All right. It's a deal!" She gave the younger unicorn a playful bat on the flank with her tail as the filly started skipping beside her.

***

Rarity peered across town at the school's distant clock tower, then back at the locked door of the notions shop. A "Closed" sign hung in the window, its edges perfectly parallel to the windowpane. Sweetie Belle sat solemnly at her side, a determined expression on her little face. She was going to earn that cookie no matter what devious challenges this place threw at her.

The alabaster mare looked down at her sister. "This is certainly odd, darling. Button Stitch opens her shop like clockwork at the same time every morning. I hope the poor thing hasn't fallen ill." She looked back at the closed sign with a wistful expression. "Oh, this is going to set my schedule back even further."

Both unicorns turned as a harried voice called out to them. "I'm sorry! Oh, I'm s-sorry! Miss Rarity! I'm sorry!"

A beige earth pony mare came galloping up, panting raggedly for breath as she came to a stop beside them. Her cutie mark was a large white button with a silver needle connected to it by a dark length of thread. Her light brown mane was bound back in a tight bun, and similarly her tail was pleated into a long braid, but both had strands of wild hair sticking out, indicating that they'd been done in a much hastier fashion than usual and further disheveled by her running.

Rarity greeted her, noting to herself the mare's haphazardly brushed coat and the dark bags under her amber eyes. "Why Button Stitch, you seem... out of sorts. Are you all right?"

The flustered mare caught her breath, shaking her head and nodding at the same time as she tried to compose herself. "I'm fine! J-just fine. I'm sorry. I had some... difficulties at home this morning that threw my schedule off. I'm so sorry I'm late."

The white unicorn gave her an appraising look. "My dear, I don't mean to tell you how to run your business, but your customers will understand if you need to take some time off to deal with something unforeseen, whatever it may be."

Button gave another small shake of her head as she used her teeth to grasp a key hanging from a chain around her neck and raised it to unlock the shop's front door. She spat the key out and pushed the door open, giving Rarity a bow and gesturing for her to enter. "I won't hear of it. Especially not from my very best customer. P-please, do come in, and if there's anything you need, just ask. I'll be at my usual spot by the register in a moment."

She cast a look at Sweetie Belle, as if just noticing the filly sitting there for the first time. A mildly panicked expression washed over the beige mare's features that was quickly suppressed.

The little unicorn stood without a word, raised her snout in the air, hiked her tail, and followed her big sister inside, sitting down with elaborate poise next to a display of pattern books while Rarity stepped up to browse among the shelves.

The interior of Button Stitch's notions shop had an almost daunting air of tidiness and organization. Be it by size, gauge, sharpness, length, color, or what letter in the alphabet it started with, if the merchandise could be placed in any sort of order it was. Anything necessary for the craft of sewing could be found, neatly stacked in banks of clearly labeled drawers or set out on perfectly aligned shelves. Even the remainders bin looked more like a precisely arranged museum display than a random collection of odds and ends.

In fact, the only thing that seemed a bit out of place today was the shop's proprietress, as she shakily turned the "closed" sign around to "open", taking a moment to line it's edges up parallel to the windowsill, before crossing to her seat next to the cash register and unlocking it. Her eyes had a haunted look to them, with the faintest twitch visible in her right cheek.

Rarity made her way through the displays, gathering what she needed in a small basket that she'd taken up from an orderly stack by the doorway and casting an occasional wary glance at the unsettled earth pony shopkeeper. She almost felt guilty removing this spool of thread or that packet of needles from their tidy lineups on the shelves and leaving gaps and asymmetry. She took extra care to arrange things as she could to diminish the small irregularities her patronage was leaving.

There had been times in the past when Button Stitch would follow her around the shop and do this herself, but today she seemed content, as far as that term could be applied to the frazzled mare, to stay by the register and stare into space.

A small, suppressed sigh could be heard at the front of the otherwise smotheringly quiet shop, and the alabaster unicorn looked over to see her little sister stoically holding steady in her seat, her green eyes glazing over with nearly unbearable boredom. Sweat was beginning to bead on Sweetie Belle's brow, and her studiously held neutral expression was gradually becoming a rictus grimace betraying a massive internal struggle to keep still.

Rarity hurried herself along, fairly certain that her younger sister exploding in the neatly ordered shop would probably have a less than salutary effect on Button Stitch's seemingly delicate mental state.

***

Sweetie Belle was capering and prancing in erratic circles around her big sister as they entered Sugar Cube Corner to the jingling of more shop bells. Rarity balanced a neat little bag stapled shut with a receipt on her alabaster shoulders.

As the elegant unicorn made her stately way across the sweet shop's tiled floor she couldn't help but smile at her younger sibling's antics. After that particular visit to the notions shop she was just as thrilled to be someplace less stiflingly dull and orderly. She was just too much of a lady to show it in such a boisterous fashion.

Boisterous displays were the stock and trade of the pink earth pony who was stationed behind the counter waiting to greet them. Pinkie Pie reared up and waved a hoof in the air as the unicorn sisters approached. "Hi Rarity! Hiya, Sweetie Belle. Hiya hiya hiya! How can I reveal the truth to your sweet tooth today?"

The elder sister smiled warmly as she nodded in greeting. "Hello, Pinkie darling. Well, I'm proud to say that Sweetie Belle here has been VERY good this morning and has earned herself not just one, but TWO cookies."

At this the little unicorn's eyes lit up, and she smiled up at Rarity in wonder and excitement. "Really?"

Pinkie leaned on the counter with her chin propped up on her fore hooves, her frizzy tail waving behind her as she assumed an exaggerated look of awe. "Whoa! You must have saved Equestria from Space Godzilla or something for that!"

Sweetie dug her hoof on the tiled floor, the pink mare's facetiousness sailing high over her head. "Oh, no. I just sat quietly while Rarity shopped for supplies at the notions shop."

Pinkie Pie's eyes went wide. "Double woah!" She reached down and gently poked the little filly's forehead as if examining it for cracks. "And you look just fine after such a horrible ordeal! I would have totally gone loco in the coco spending even a half second in that place!"

The pink mare sat back and tapped her chin in thought as Rarity suppressed a wry smile. "Y'know, it's easy to lose track of an extra cookie. We'd better stick 'em together with a scoop of ice cream just to make sure."

Sweetie Belle turned to Rarity with an even brighter look of joy that she fought to rein in as she saw the thoughtful expression on her big sister's face. Rarity arched an eyebrow as she looked between her sibling's pleading green eyes and Pinkie's merry blue ones.

She let out a chuckle and nodded her assent. "I'll agree to that on two conditions." She bobbed her horn at Pinkie. "You have to make me one too." Then she gave Sweetie a wink. "And YOU, don't breathe a word about this to Mother. Understood?"

Her little sister grinned a wide grin and nodded enthusiastically as Pinkie giggled and set to rummaging behind the counter for an ice cream scoop. Sweetie Belle turned her full concentration to the display case with an eye toward choosing the best possible combination of cookies for herself.

The shop bell rang out behind them, and the elder unicorn turned to see Applejack enter, a slightly perturbed expression on the blonde farm mare's face. The orange earth pony walked up to her and gave her a curt nod. "Mornin', Rarity. You seen Pinkie Pie around?"

At this, the pink mare popped up from behind the counter with an ice cream scoop clenched in her teeth. She set it down and gave a little hop. "Hi, Applejack! How can I buck some deliciousness straight into your taste buds today?"

Applejack met her perkiness with a furrowed brow as she reared up and leaned on the countertop, planting her hoof on her hip. "I ain't here fer confections, Pink. I'm here for confessions."

Confusion washed over Pinkie's face as the blond mare fixed her with a stern look. "I'm here to find out just why you thought it'd be funny to pick a bunch o' my apples before they was ripe and use 'em to spell out th' word "wombat" in the north orchard."

Pinkie cocked an eyebrow at her. "That doesn't sound funny at all, just weird."

The apple farmer met her gaze with a deadpan expression. "Yeah, I reckon it is. So what's the deal?"

The pink mare shrugged. "How should I know? I didn't do it. I've never even been to Hosstralia."

This threw Applejack for a slight loop. "Wait, what? That don't make no kinda sense at all. Who else COULD it a' been?"

A slightly miffed expression crossed Pinkies features. "Hey. I'll have you know that everything I do makes absolutely perfect sense."

At this, Rarity and Applejack shared a long, disbelieving look with one another while Pinkie tsked and rolled her eyes. "Okay, listen. Everything I do is aimed toward one thing: making ponies happy. Element of Laughter, remember?"

She fixed the farm mare with a level gaze. "Are you happy that a bunch of apples got ruined to spell out the name of a burrowing marsupial?"

Applejack could only answer honestly. "Uh, no. I'm more annoyed than anythin'."

Pinkie nodded. "And can either of you think of anypony in town who would be made happy by a bout of impromptu zoological fruit writing?"

The unicorn dressmaker and earth pony farmer could only trade an uncertain glance and shrug. The pink pony baker nodded in satisfaction. "Exactly. Therefore, it's totally obvious that I didn't do it. Q. E. D."

Applejack blinked at her. "Q.E.D.?"

Pinkie looked smug. "Quit Expecting that I Did it. Anyway, even if I had a motive, last night was jazzercise night with Gummy, so it couldn't have been me."

At this, Rarity and Applejack looked over to Mr. Cake, who rolled his eyes wearily and nodded in confirmation before going back to setting out plates of eclairs in a nearby display case.

The blonde farm mare looked back at her fellow earth pony with a look of contrition on her face. "Well shucks, I reckon I owe y'all an apology then, Pinkie Pie."

The pink pony tossed her head with exaggerated magnanimity. "Spoken like a gentlemare! Now if you'll excuse me, this young lady would like a triple chocolate chipple macadamia delight and a coconut macaroonapalooza crisp separated by a generous scoop of strawberry caramel pistachio ice cream, if her hoof signals are any indication. I'll be back to find out what cookies and ice cream the two of you want in a moment."

With a wink to her friends, she plucked up a sheet of wax paper in her teeth from the dispenser on the countertop and ducked down to grab Sweetie Belle's selections.

***

Soon, the three mares and a little filly were all sitting at one of the small tables out front of the bakery, enjoying their ice cream cookie sandwiches and chatting.

Rarity clucked her tongue in concern as she nibbled on a pair of mint chocolate dipped shortbread cookies encompassing a scoop of dulce de leche ice cream. "The poor dear seemed terribly agitated. I mean, I know she's hardly what you'd call easygoing even on a good day, but today she seemed on the edge of hysterics just counting out my change. One would almost believe she was upset the amount didn't end in a five or a zero."

Pinkie shook her head as she polished off a tottering stack of assorted baked goods held together by a veritable rainbow of different ice cream flavors and doused in hot sauce. "If anypony needs to unwind and laugh a little, it's that one. She never comes to any of my parties. I always get the invitations back with "return to sender" typed on 'em. If I wasn't me I'd have stopped sending 'em a long time ago."

Applejack furrowed her brow as she swallowed a large bite of two oatmeal walnut apple craisin cookies surrounding a scoop of vanilla cinnamon swirl. "I ain't really ever talked to th' gal much besides buyin' crochet supplies fer Granny Smith, but she always did strike me as a might high strung."

Rarity dabbed at her muzzle with a napkin as she floated her ice cream sandwich a polite distance from her face. She cast Applejack a wicked grin. "Well, I'd hardly blame her with you crashing about her little shop, darling."

The blonde farm mare cast a mild scowl at the unicorn as she chomped another bite off of her sandwich and chewed it deliberately to hold back the retort that was sitting on the tip of her tongue. She perked up as she spotted a cyan blue pegasus trailing a streak of rainbow colors while flying purposefully overhead.

Applejack raised a hoof and gave her a wave. "Yo! Howdy there, Dash!"

The flying mare wheeled and dove in their direction, coming to a hovering stop over their heads. She wore an irritated expression on her face. "Hey guys. Have you seen Ditzy Doo anywhere?"

The farm pony looked thoughtful before giving her friend a wry smile. "She was droppin' off the mail at Sweet Apple Acres 'fore I came over here. S'matter? She crumple up the cover on one o' yer "Wonder Beat" magazines again?"

Rainbow Dash crossed her fore hooves and huffed. "If she did then she's in even MORE trouble."

Rarity arched an eyebrow. "Whatever DID she do, darling?"

The chromatic pegasus threw her hooves in the air in exasperation. "Well, SOMEPONY put butt prints all over the bottom of my house, and she's the only pegasus I know who's goofy enough to pull something like that."

The three mares on the ground all exchanged glances. Pinkie cocked her head as she called up to her. "That doesn't really sound like something Ditzy would, uh... do, Dashie." She covered her mouth with a hoof and suppressed a giggle and snort.

Applejack nodded sagely. "Yeah, she ain't exactly the shiniest apple in the bushel basket, but prankin' ain't rightly her style. She don't got a mean or mischievous bone in her body."

Rarity spoke up in agreement. "Indeed. She's a dear heart, and I know for a fact that she thinks the world of you, Rainbow Dash. Why ever would she do something so vulgar?"

The cyan pegasus gave an uncertain shrug and looked puzzled, rubbing her chin with a hoof in thought. "I dunno. I guess now that I think about it, the ol' inverse moon doesn't sound like Ditzy's kinda thing at all."

Applejack nodded ruefully. "Yeah, she tends t' leave more impressions of her face in stuff than anythin' else, and it generally ain't on purpose neither."

Rarity shook her head. "It's a good thing we stopped you, darling. The poor thing would have been terribly upset if you'd gone and accused her of such behavior."

The rainbow maned mare furrowed her brow and planted her fore hooves on her hips. "Yeah, I guess so. That wouldn't have been very cool at all."

She tsked in irritation. "Well geez. Now I have no idea who did it. I might have thought it was a couple young colts out on a joyflight, but the impressions were definitely left by a full grown mare. I know that much."

Pinkie Pie snickered into her hoof with a twinkle in her eye. "I didn't know you were such an expert on the subject of pony patooties, Dashie..."

Rainbow Dash blinked, and her cyan face started to redden at the cheeks as she crossed her fore legs in front of her chest defensively. "Hey! I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this."

She caught herself, her face going redder as a long, strangled snort escaped from one of the mares seated at the little table below. Like a fast burning fuse to a keg of powder, the sound led to an explosion of uproarious laughter from all three of them, accompanied by the slapping of hooves and rattling of plates on the tabletop. Only Sweetie Belle sat blinking in mild confusion as the adult mares around her nearly fell off their chairs in mirth.

Dash tossed her head and rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah, real mature, you guys. I'm outta here." With a huffy flap of her wings, she wheeled and shot off over Ponyville, leaving her trademark rainbow contrail in her wake.

Applejack wiped a tear from her freckled cheek. "Whoosh... Thunderation if'n that gal ain't the queen o' unintentional comedy."

Rarity dabbed at her eyes with her napkin and caught her breath. "Indeed. Although all kidding aside, there's something strange going on around Ponyville. That's two utterly random, nonsensical pranks in one night."

Pinky was still giggling slightly as she nodded. "Yeah, and to top it all off, I was having a totally new combo twitch yesterday, and I have no idea what it might mean."

Applejack's expression became pensive. "Oh yeah?"

The pink mare nodded, her frizzy mane bobbing lightly. "Yeah. Right eye flutter, left ear flop, then vice versa." She crossed her forelegs in front of her and spoke in a spooky voice that somehow had a little reverb behind it. "I call it "X the Unknown, a.k.a. the Mystery Cross Twitch"."

A thought arose in Rarity's mind and manifested itself as a darkening of her alabaster brow. "You... you girls don't suppose that... that he somehow got loose again, do you?"

Pinkie Pie and Applejack both caught their breath and looked at each other with alarm. A moment later, the blonde earth pony shook her head with an air of finality. "Nope. I reckon if it were Discord there'd be a lot more stuff goin' haywire than just apple wombats n' kiester prints, if'n y'all will pardon my language. He didn't strike me as th' sort t' do anything small."

Pinkie nodded in grave agreement. "Yeah, those sound more like the work of a pegasus who's a couple jellybeans short of a sandwich than an ancient cosmic entity of ultimate meaniehood."

She stroked her chin pensively. "Actually, it sounds a little like my great auntie Surprise, but she's in a home down in Neightona Beach and they're really good about making sure she takes her medication."

They fell into a thoughtful silence, that was broken a few moments later by a silvery giggle coming from Sweetie Belle. The three mares turned to face the little unicorn filly, who gave them an impish look with her hooves to her mouth. "Get to the bottom..." She murmured with glee.

Rarity let out a fond sigh and smoothed down her younger sister's bicolored mane with a gentle hoof. "Finish your ice cream, dear..."

Chapter 2

The following morning found Rarity hard at work tracing patterns on a length of shimmering cloth in her workroom, humming softly to herself. Sweetie Belle was home with their parents, and so she only had her surly cat Opalescence to keep her company.

To be perfectly candid, she was grateful for a chance to work in peace without dreading the inevitable crashes, splashes, scatterings, and tearing noises, or the strident denials and/or weeping apologies that followed them, when her sister was underhoof.

She let out a clipped sigh and adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose as a frantic, staccato tapping came to the front door of her boutique. Tucking her charcoal pencil behind her ear, she trotted out through her empty showroom, wondering if she'd forgotten to hang up her "Back in 5 Minutes" sign.

The door shimmered with her magic and swung open wide enough for her to look out. "Hello? Can I help... you..." She trailed off as she looked out on empty air. She let out a mild huff and made to close the door when more rapid patter sounded from the ground at her hooves.

The elegant unicorn looked down with her sapphire blue eyes widening in surprise as she spotted the diminutive form of a small white rabbit, who sat on her stoop tapping his hind foot on her doormat with a troubled look on his little face.

Rarity recognized him at once. "Angel Bunny? What are you doing here all by yourself?"

The rabbit started hopping up and down and pointing frantically in the general direction of Fluttershy's cottage. After a couple moments of this, he dropped to all fours and let his ears flop down in front of his face, assuming a fairly accurate imitation of the gentle pegasus who took care of him, before leaping back to his feet and hopping and pointing again.

Rarity raised a hoof to her mouth. "Oh dear. is something wrong with Fluttershy?"

At this, the rabbit alternated between nodding emphatically and tapping his paw on his little pink nose. The alabaster mare gave a resolute nod and levitated her glasses off of her face, setting them on a nearby countertop.

She turned and called into the shop. "Opalescence! I'm going to Fluttershy's house! Watch the shop would you? Opal?"

She looked down with a gasp to see her cat crouched with her rump raised and her tail lashing behind her, a predatory grin on the chubby white feline's face as she set her sights for a pounce on the tiny rabbit on the doorstep.

Angel caught sight of her at the same moment, and scowled in Opalescance's direction. He defiantly stomped a foot toward her and raised a paw, letting her know in no uncertain terms that she would taste the back of it if she made her move. The rotund white cat blinked, sat back on her haunches, and turned away to nonchalantly lick a paw as if that's what she'd been doing the whole time.

Rarity blinked and shook her head, then crouched down on her knees and motioned for Angel to jump up, which the tiny rabbit did with alacrity. Once he'd settled himself on her back, she gave him a nod. "All right, let's go."

With that, she set out at a gallop, pulling the door of her shop closed behind her with a flourish of magic.

***

Not ten steps down the path she balked, nearly throwing the startled rabbit off as she reared back in shock with a hysterical cry. "WHA HA HAAAAGH!"

The elegant mare stood with a frazzled mane, a hoof pressed to her chest as she gasped for breath and tried to recover her wits. She boggled at the boulder that she had been refusing to even acknowledge for weeks now. Somepony had painted it to resemble a huge staring eyeball with a pink iris, and even more incoherently had perched a top hat on its crest.

Rarity craned her neck to look back at Angel who gave her a puzzled shrug in return, before pointing emphatically down the path and flopping his ears down in his Fluttershy impression again. She gave him a nod, and after edging sideways in a semicircular path around the unnerving boulder, set off again at a gallop toward the cottage at the edge of the Everfree Forest.

***

As she trotted up the path to the rustic little homestead, Rarity could hear the calls of a multitude of birds and small forest animals on the air. She laid her ears back in alarm. While she had nothing like her pegasus friend's considerable empathy with wildlife - in truth it had taken her a couple years of painful scratches before she'd figured out her own pet cat's moods - she could tell that the myriad denizens of the cottage and the woods that surrounded it were spooked.

Rarity called out as she approached the front door of the cottage. "Fluttershy? Fluttershy, darling? Are you all right?"

She was met with nothing but more animal and bird calls.

She looked warily back at Angel, who hopped down and bolted inside through a tiny swinging door set in the wall next to the pony door. A moment of scrabbling on the other side later, the latch clicked and the top and bottom of the split door swung open with an ominous creak.

The elegant unicorn, now a bit disheveled from running, swallowed hard and briefly wondered if she should go and get more of her friends. Angel gave a frantic little hop and beckoned her inside, scurrying to the foot of the stairs and waving her forward with both paws. He let his ears flop down again and pointed emphatically upstairs. The alabaster mare pursed her lips, narrowed her eyes with resolve, and forged ahead, following the tiny rabbit inside and upward.

***

Rarity cast a nervous glance around Fluttershy's bedroom, taking note of the details, as Angel scampered under the bed and vanished. Her friend's bed was unmade, the sheets thrown aside as if its occupant had risen in the night and never returned. She noticed a candle lying broken beneath a candleholder on the floor by the window, a splash of wax and a bit of scorching indicating it had been dropped while still lit.

The unicorn mare stepped cautiously up to the window and drew aside the curtain, looking out over Fluttershy's back yard and chicken coop. Rarity's gaze lingered curiously on the glass itself for a moment, her brow furrowing as she wondered if she was indeed seeing the faint imprint of a pony snout on the outside face of the pane.

A cackling erupted below, drawing her attention to the fenced in chicken run, where the birds were milling uneasily in little clusters, giving a wide berth to an arrangement of eggs laid out on the ground in the shape of letters.

Her sapphire blue eyes widened as she stared incredulously and read the word aloud. "Tuba?"

Rarity's head whipped around as a muffled squeak sounded out from underneath the bed in response to her voice. Pursing her lips, she tiptoed over and crouched down, raising the trailing hem of the comforter and peering underneath.

A blur of butter yellow and pink erupted forth, wrapping itself tightly around her neck and bowling her over before she even had a chance to cry out.

As the sound of her own heart pounding in her ears subsided to a low, urgent thumping, Rarity heard the softest whimper at her chest and looked down to see Fluttershy's haggard face, her eyes clamped tightly shut and streaming with tears as she clung to the alabaster unicorn with all four legs.

The disheveled fashionista let out a sigh of equal parts relief and weariness, and reached up to stroke her trembling friend's back.

***

A pot of tea, some honey covered slices of toast, a good mane brushing, and a liberal application of concerned birds, bunnies, and chipmunks later, the two mares sat side by side in the sunlit grass in front of Fluttershy's cottage. Angel lay nestled against Fluttershy's side opposite Rarity, fast asleep after having done his heroic bunny duty.

Rarity floated the teapot solicitously over and freshened up her timid friend's cup, speaking gently to her. "Come now, darling. I think the sooner you tell me what happened, the better you'll feel."

The pegasus mare let out a shuddering little peep and bunched up her shoulders, looking away with fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. "It... it was so s-s-scary, Rarity. Oh, I'm going to have nightmares for weeks..."

The unicorn set the teapot down beside her and nudged her friend gently with her horn. "Darling, please... You've faced down cockatrices, manticores, dragons, no fewer than two malevolent immortals, and the full fury of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. There's a core of solid diamond under that velvet exterior of yours. Surely you can face telling one of your dearest friends about a frightening experience so that she can help you get over it?"

Fluttershy swallowed hard and nodded, giving Rarity a fragile smile. "All right. It... it was late last night. You know I'm sort of a light sleeper, in case one of the baby animals needs a bottle, or one of the little birds has a bad dream, or one of the raccoons needs some cinnamon toast, or..."

Rarity discreetly rolled her eyes and pointedly cleared her throat. The soft spoken mare caught herself and picked up the thread of her narrative. "Um... Right... Well, I woke up in the wee hours of the morning to hear a commotion out by the chicken coop. They sounded really worked up, and I was hoping I wouldn't have to go out and ask a fox or a weasel to please look elsewhere for dinner. They always look so disappointed. Anyway, I lit a candle and went over to the window and pulled aside the curtain."

She trailed off, shuddering, as her friend leaned in and nuzzled her neck. "Go on, darling. I'm here and it's a beautiful sunny day now."

Fluttershy let out a small squeak and continued. "It... it was... well it looked like a pony. It was floating over the chicken run making all these weird noises. It didn't have wings, and I didn't see a horn or any magic being used, although I think it was wearing some kind of hat with a little pinwheel on top. It just drifted around like a cloud or a balloon with its legs dangling underneath. It was scaring the dickens out of the chickens, and I wasn't very comfortable at all with it either."

She raised her eyes to meet Rarity's, the unicorn staring back at her with her jaw hanging open. "I just... just stared at it, and... and I guess it saw my candle in the window, because it... it... it looked back, and floated up at me until its snout was bumping against the window. Its... its eyes..."

She let out a tiny "meep" and clenched her own eyes shut, shivering violently but finding the courage to continue. "Its eyes were spinning in opposite directions like a couple of tops, but... but I still felt like it was staring straight at me... It started to slowly roll over, until it was hanging upside down right outside my window, and then... and then..."

She swallowed hard. "Then it opened its mouth and started ringing like an alarm clock. I would have had a heart attack right then and there if I wasn't too busy diving under the bed and curling into a little ball."

Fluttershy let out a long, shuddering breath as she released the built up tension her story had caused her. "And that's where I stayed until you came by. I think I heard it floating around outside making accordion noises for a while after I hid, but then all I could hear was my little animal friends calling out to each other."

She sighed wistfully, letting out a little sob as she looked down at Angel sleeping peacefully at her side. "I feel just awful that they were all scared and all I could do was cower under my bed all night."

Rarity nuzzled her cheek in a sisterly fashion. "They were scared because you were scared, darling. And I don't blame you, I would have fainted on the spot at that sort of spectacle. Oh, how frightening for you."

She laid her hoof on her butter colored friend's shoulder. "Don't feel too bad, though. If your strange visitor had actually been trying to harm any of your little friends I don't doubt at all that you would have been out there fighting like an ursa major."

The pegasus mare gave her friend a brief smile from behind the draped locks of her pink mane, before a puzzled expression settled on her face. "But, what... what did it want? Why would it spell out "tuba" in my chicken run with eggs?"

The alabaster unicorn sadly shook her head. "I have no idea, darling. Nothing this... creature has done makes even a little sense. There have been some awfully peculiar things going on around Ponyville of late, and I think you might have been the first pony to get a good look at the culprit, whoever or whatever it is."

Fluttershy swallowed hard. "Do... do you think it'll come back?"

The elegant unicorn shook her head sadly. "There's just no way of knowing, darling. This thing is so random it makes Pinkie Pie look like Button Stitch."

The shy pegasus' voice was quavering with fear. "Wh-what are we going to do, then?"

Rarity drew herself up decisively. "We're going to go talk to Twilight, that's what we're going to do."

***

The leaves of the Books and Branches Library rustled softly in the late morning breeze as the two mares trotted toward it. The diminutive purple shape of Spike the Dragon was crouched in the grass out front, peering intently at something on the ground.

He didn't look up as Rarity called out to him. "Spike dear, good morning! Is Twilight home?"

The little dragon half murmered in response. "Yeah, in the reference stacks with her nose in a book, same as always." He caught himself, blinking as he realized who had spoken to him.

He stood and faced them with a blush spreading across his reptilian features, sheepishly clutching his tail in front of him with a smitten grin on his face. "Oh! H-hi there, Rarity!" He gave a little wave at her companion. "Hey, Fluttershy. I'm sorry I didn't realize it was you guys at first."

The elegant unicorn batted her eyes at him. "And what's got your attention so completely riveted that you didn't notice two of the most beautiful mares in Ponyville coming to pay you a visit?" Fluttershy blushed slightly and hid behind her mane with a tiny grin on her face.

The dragonet's slitted green eyes flicked toward the ground and he beckoned them over with a clawed hand. "Check it out, it's kinda weird."

At this, the two mares exchanged an uneasy glance, and Rarity furrowed her brow. "Weird, eh?"

Spike nodded as they approached. "Yeah, look at this. Somepony must have done this really late last night, 'cos it wasn't here when Twilight and I went out to pick up dinner at Pasta Sauce's place yesterday."

Rarity's eyes widened and Fluttershy let out a little squeak as they beheld what the young dragon was showing them. Several winding concentric rings made up of all sizes, colors, and shapes of buttons had been made on the ground around the base of the huge tree that served as both library and home to their friend Twilight Sparkle and the little purple dragon.

Spike stood up with his hands on his hips and shook his head. "Yeah, I can't make any sense of it. I found 'em when I was taking the pizza boxes out to the trash this morning. There's maybe seven complete circles, and some squiggly lines at intervals. And that's not the weirdest part, come here."

They followed him around back, and he showed them a spot between two of the rings of buttons, where the word "foopnarple" had been spelled out in shiny bobbins.

Fluttershy stared at the cryptic message and murmered. "Whats a... foop... narple?"

Spike shrugged. "Got me. I showed this to Twilight and she ran back inside and started pulling dictionaries off the shelves. Couldn't find an entry in any language, not even in Sindarin or Klingon. She's doing research on magic ritual circles now, but I've never heard of anypony making one of those out of buttons. It's usually blood or gemstones or salt or vanilla cake frosting or something..."

A thoughtful expression had settled on Rarity's pristine features as she stared at the glittering bobbins on the ground at her feet. She looked up at Fluttershy with a decisive look on her face. "Fluttershy, darling. Why don't you go inside and tell Spike and Twilight about what happened to you last night? I'll be back shortly."

The shy pegasus looked at her friend quizzically. "Wh-where are you going, Rarity?"

The alabaster unicorn gave her a cagey look as she turned to trot away. "A notion just struck me..."

Chapter 3

Soon, Rarity stood before the front door of Button Stitch's notions shop. The "closed" sign was hanging in the window at an angle, and she peered over it into the shop, her sapphire blue eyes trying to focus past the bright reflections from outside and see what was going on in the darkened interior.

From what she could see, it looked like a tornado had blown through the little store, with shelves and bins toppled and every little bit of merchandise scattered and piled on the floor among a veritable birds nest of unspooled thread and ribbons.

At the center of it all, the huddled form of an earth pony mare sat with her back to the window, her brown mane unbound and tangled, her tail unbraided and in disarray. Her shoulders shook, and Rarity could hear her whimpering.

The elegant unicorn tentatively reached up with a hoof and rapped on the window, her brow furrowing with concern. "Button Stitch! Button dear, are you all right?"

She shook her head and pursed her lips, chiding herself. It was a stupid question, she clearly wasn't.

The trembling shopkeeper let out a strangled yelp and fell forward on her belly, clapping her fore hooves over her head and shouting out in a shaky voice. "Closed! The shop is! It's closed. Come back later!"

Rarity hiked her tail and rapped harder. "Button, let me in this instant!"

The beige mare's response edged on hysteria. "No! Go away! It's not time to open the store anymore!"

The unicorn huffed and cast about her. She briefly considered tossing a stone through the window, hefting a likely specimen from the path beside her with her magic before deciding against it and letting it thud back on the ground. No good could come from further traumatizing the shop's hysterical proprietress.

After a moment's more thought, she plucked a hairpin from her mane, floated it toward the lock, and began to work it in the keyhole. She was rewarded after a couple of minutes fiddling with a click, and the door edged open.

After carefully replacing the hairpin, she shoved the door open with her snout, sweeping a half circle in the scattered merchandise on the floor. She walked cautiously up to the prostrate mare and gently nudged her with a hoof. "Button, darling. I... I want to help you if I can. What happened here?"

The beige mare surged up from the floor with a wail, and for the second time that morning Rarity found herself bowled over and pinned to the ground by a sobbing, shivering pony. She let out a sigh, ignoring the blunt tipped pinking shears that were jabbing her haunch beneath her, and let the shopkeeper pour out her tears onto her alabaster shoulder.

Presently, when the distraught mare's crying had subsided somewhat, Rarity helped her to a sitting position and looked her in the eyes. "Now, Button dear, please. Tell me what's going on."

The earth pony started to tear up again. "I... I don't know what's going on, M-miss Rarity. I honestly don't." She averted her gaze, sniffling. "I... I keep... t-time keeps slipping on me, throwing off my schedule, and... and strange things happen... like... like this."

She gestured at the shambles of her shop. "It... it wasn't like this when I came in this morning. I was running exactly five minutes late, which is... is acceptable considering the week I've been having I... I s-suppose. There... there were no customers so I decided to run an inventory check to... to help settle my nerves."

She let out a shudder and her pupils shrank at the memory. "When I looked in my button stocks I found over three fourths of them were mysteriously m-missing, and the rest were m-m-m-mixed up." She started to rock back and forth on her haunches. "So I tried to put what there was of them in their proper receptacles and the last thing I remember clearly was separating the white ones from the not-white ones and getting ready to separate the glossy ones from the shiny ones when... and now... now th-this."

She gave a jerky shrug and gestured to the shop around them with wide hooves before hugging herself with a haunted look on her face. Button looked over at the concerned unicorn with puffy, tear reddened eyes and spoke in a tiny, lost voice. "What... what keeps happening to me, Miss R-rarity? I... I woke up yesterday sitting on an apple in my kitchen s-sink, l-like I was trying to hatch it or something. This morning I had flecks of pink and white paint all over my coat, and I was hanging upside down in my broom closet."

Rarity edged closer to her, laid a hoof across the earth pony's shoulders, and gave her a squeeze. "I don't know, my dear. I think I should take you to see my friend Twilight Sparkle right away. Can you stand?"

The shopkeeper gave a tentative nod and climbed shakily to her hooves with the dressmaker's help. She gazed morosely around her as Rarity led her out the door and into the bright sun outside, pausing as the unicorn drew the door shut behind them.

As Rarity used her magic to straighten the "Closed" sign through the glass of the window, Button cast a tearful backward gaze at her little shop, her lower lip quivering. She let out a small sob. "I... I don't know when I'll get to turn that sign back around... if... if ever."

The white unicorn came up beside her and gave her a gentle nudge and an encouraging smile. "Don't worry a bit, darling. We can clean it up. Twilight Sparkle is the most organized mare I know. Between her and I and yourself we'll get everything put back in its proper place. Spit spot. You'll see."

They set out across the town square at a slow pace, with Button Stitch brightening slightly at the thought. "Y-yes, that would be most w-welcome. You're very kind, Miss Rarity. I... I wish I had more customers like you."

Rarity spoke softly as she guided her along. "I'd rather you thought of me as your friend, Button dear."

A tear started to roll down the disheveled mare's cheek. "I... I've never really had many... well, any to be precise... No time, you see. Too hard to make schedules meet up properly..."

The elegant unicorn chuckled. "You sound just like Twilight did when I first met her. I think the two of you would get along famously."

Button gave her a fragile smile. "Well, if she can help me put my shop back in order, then I'll be eternally grateful."

As they walked a way in silence, the shopkeeper's brow furrowed in hazy concentration as she started turning the process of reorganizing her store over in her head. "We could start by separating merchandise by broad varieties, between tools like needles and scissors and consumables like thread and ribbon, and then from there go on to further subdivide and categorize until we've got everything separated. Once we've done an initial appraisal of everything's condition I'll know if I need to place any restock orders. I'll need to find my most recent catalogues so that I can cross reference descriptions with supply numbers."

Rarity softly cleared her throat, suppressing an urge to roll her eyes as she cast her companion a genteel smile. "Sounds... sounds fascinating, darling."

The beige earth pony was just warming up, obviously taking great comfort in making her plans. "Yes, actually, this will be quite the organizational challenge. It will be almost like an adventure! Oh! We can use a percentage of the drawers for sorting, and then gradually reduce the number of sorting versus storage until everything is properly organized. I'll need to order fresh labels from the stationary store, and maybe then we can bagel the shampoo."

The pale unicorn arched an eyebrow and cocked an ear. "I beg your pardon?"

Button looked at her with her eyes going slightly askew. "I said we could alphabetize the tap dance after we trout mask replica."

Rarity came to a stop, her brow furrowing. "Would... Would you care to please repeat that again, Button dear?"

The beige mare looked back at her with a mildly irritated look on her face, made unnerving by her eyes rotating to stare in opposite directions. "I tally hoopa flangle ding ding parpletrouser, zoot hambididdle fortmango tibblefrackly, my good Super Atragon."

The unicorn let out a gasp as the earth pony's eyes started spinning faster and faster, the amber fading to livid purple. The effect made Rarity queasy and she had to look away. She found her attention dragged towards some uncanny movement on the shopkeeper's flank, where the cutie mark had begun to shimmer and crawl.

The holes faded from the button as the black thread seemed to be pulled into it, looping in curves across the blank white circle in the fashion of the stitches on a baseball. The eye of the needle filled in and flattened into a slotted head, as the point grew thicker and a spiral ridge arose, turning it into the image of a screw.

The earth pony's rump seemed to swell up as if it were being inflated, and floated into the air with her hind legs dangling beneath. Rarity gazed in horror as dusty pink spots broke out across her companion's beige pelt, growing, shifting, and flowing together like raindrops on a tilting glass, until one color had supplanted the other. A wash of florescent purple flowed along each follicle of the disheveled brown mane and tail, causing the hairs to curl and writhe with a life of their own. Swirls and twirls of white surged out along the boiling tangle in random whirls.

With considerable effort Rarity held her ground and forced herself to take a step forward, calling to the transformed pony in a tiny, shocked voice. "B-b-button Stitch?"

The bizarre apparition that had taken the place of the plain shopkeeper looked in her general direction with wildly spiraling purple eyes. It produced a bright yellow and green propeller beanie from somewhere and tipped it to Rarity before setting it on its head. "Gadji beri bimba, Turpleton poi."

With that, the caricature of a pony started to drift upward like a foal's balloon, honking like a goose as the alabaster unicorn and a stunned crowd of midday market goers gazed upward with eyes wide and jaws dropped.

A reedy, terrified voice cried out from among the transfixed ponies. It sounded like Lily. "It's Discord! He's come back! Oh, the horror! The HORROR!"

Like a lit match dropping onto a haystack and setting it alight, the cry caused panic to blossom in the town square, and suddenly ponies were screaming and rearing and stampeding in every direction.

Rarity brought a hoof to her face with a heavy sigh and hung her head in exasperation. "Ughhh."

Her attention was jerked skyward by the sound of Rainbow Dash's frantic voice echoing over the villiage's rooftops. "LOOK OUT!"

The alabaster unicorn mare's pupils shrank to pinpricks as she watched the rainbow pegasus plow into the floating pinkish ponyoid at full speed. They hung intertwined in the air for a second, before a sound like a huge, drawn out raspberry being blown issued forth and they took off in a wildly looping and circling trajectory across the breadth of the wide open sky over Ponyville.

The panicked crowd stopped in its tracks and silence reigned on the ground as every eye was turned toward the heavens, watching with a mixture of horror and amazement. The twirling flight of the pegasus and ponyform organism arced upward to a tiny point high over the outskirts of town as the raspberry noise abruptly stopped. A beat later the speck plummeted over one of the many lakes dotting the bucolic landscape surrounding the pony settlement.

A cry went up from the crowd. Lily again. "The Elements of Harmony have defeated Discord with their magic rainbow beam! Yay!" The milling herd of ponies kicked up their hooves and gave a heartfelt cheer, with hats and horseshoes flying into the air overhead.

Rarity opened her mouth then closed it again, an arch expression settling on her face. She looked around and spotted a dumbfounded Applejack standing next to her apple cart, staring in the direction that Rainbow Dash and the creature that had been Button Stitch had vanished.

Ears laid back, the unicorn walked over with a slouching gait and nudged the earth pony farmer with her horn, jerking her head toward the outskirts of town. "Come on. Let's go get them..."

***

A few minutes later the muscular orange earth pony had fished the wayward mares out of the lake and brought them onto shore. Rarity stood nearby with a mildly indignant expression on her face and Applejack's cowpony hat hanging off the tip of her horn.

Rainbow Dash kicked and coughed and squirmed and struggled, her feathers in disarray and her mane slicked down to her forehead and neck, as the farm mare gripped her rainbow tail in her teeth and dragged her friend along behind her. Button Stitch had reverted to normal, and sprawled limp and unconscious over Applejack's back, her sodden brown tail trailing down between her dangling rear legs as lake water dribbled out of her mouth and nostrils on the other side.

Rainbow got unsteadily to her hooves and shook herself off, holding her dripping wings away from her body with her back arched like a soaked cat. She shook her head to clear it, and called out in a shaken voice to Applejack and Rarity as the farm mare applied CPR to the half drowned shopkeeper. "What the everlovin' hay just happened? Did I just run into a weather balloon or something?"

Rarity traded a look with Applejack, who pursed her lips uncomfortably and shrugged. "That's... uh... that's as good an explanation as anythin' right now, I reckon... Honestly I'm havin' trouble believin' what I just saw, and it happened in broad daylight right smack dab over th' town square."

The white unicorn flicked the farm pony's hat into her freckled face and rolled her eyes. "Let's get going to the library, ladies. Twilight does explanations better than any of us."

She looked down at the insensate form of Button Stitch, who laid like a ragdoll on her side with her tongue lolling out of her mouth and her eyes rolled back in her head. "And I have a feeling this one is going to be a doozy."

Chapter 4

Button Stitch sat staring into space on Twilight Sparkle's couch, a blanket wrapped around her shivering shoulders.

She'd been brought around with smelling salts, dried off with a clean, fluffy towel by the quiet yellow pegasus, and soothed with a cup of strong tea containing a shot of something the orange earth pony referred to as "apple tonic".

The lavender unicorn had scanned her from snout to tail with her glittering horn, consulting a stack of large, dusty tomes from time to time while asking her an exhaustive battery of probing questions about the past few days, to which she replied with a vague sense of disconnection from the answers, while a little purple dragon stood nearby and jotted their exchange down on a piece of parchment.

Now, the unicorn librarian was giving her diagnosis. Button's best customer... that is... her friend Rarity sat beside her gently brushing her mane. While it felt good to have the tangles straightened out, she was tired, more tired than she'd ever felt in her life. The throbbing behind her eyes meant she was having trouble following the lavender mare's long winded dissertation about blah blah blah entropic imbalances and yada yada yada internal harmonics. The other mares and the little dragon didn't seem to be getting much more out of it than Button was.

The beige earth pony wondered with a twinge of guilt if this was how Miss Rarity's little sister felt when her elder sibling brought her to the shop. While she didn't really mind straightening the shelves and picking things up and putting them back in their proper bins after they'd left, it was the principle of the thing. Things had to be kept in their proper places.

Which was why the two books placed out of order on the shelf in front of her were beginning to drive her a little bit more crazy than she feared she already was. She just needed to fix this, and then she could pay proper attention. They were trying to help her. She'd help out a little too. That's all. Books should be in the right order so ponies could know where to find them. It was important that things should be organized.

Twilight Sparkle closed the book she'd been levitating in front of her. "... and so, to put it simply, Miss Stitch is experiencing these transformations because..."

She trailed off as the beige shopkeeper suddenly shrugged out of the blanket and stood with a determined look on her face. "um... M-miss Stitch?"

The beige earth pony marched across to the shelf and pulled the offending volume down, then slid it back on the other side of its immediate neighbor, turning back to the assembled ponies and dragon with an apologetic shrug. "I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, Miss Sparkle, but T-h comes after T-e and before marbles in the croypongo."

Rarity let loose of the brush and allowed it to clatter to the floor as she brought her hoof to her face. "Oh no! It's happening again!" Fluttershy let out a squeak and dove under the couch.

Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Spike watched in horrified fascination as the beige earth pony's body flattened and folded nose to tail, then twisted into a moebius strip that proceeded to contract tighter and tighter until it was a compressed knot with her rubbery legs waving in all directions, before inverting itself with a loud POP into the bizarre pink and purple equimonculous that had been plaguing them with its irrational actions the past two nights.

Rarity's cheeks bulged out as she clapped her other hoof to her muzzle as well, a strangled choking sound issuing from the back of her throat. She forced back her gorge with effort. "S-sweet diamond studded riding crops, that was even more dreadful than the first time."

The pony thing opened its mouth and coughed up its propeller beanie, which it placed on its head with a flourish. It tucked a hoof under an armpit and proceeded to squeeze out a rather unseemly rendition of the Equestrian Royal Fanfare as it rotated around its long axis and floated upward, coming to rest with its hooves planted between the support beams of the floor above. It bent its head upward as if grazing, leaving mouthfuls of lavender grass sprouting from the ceiling.

The assembled mares and small dragon were jarred out of their stunned reverie by the sound of the library's front door flying open, and their heads all whipped around to see another pink pony with a frizzy magenta mane come bouncing inside.

Her ears were alternating flops in tandem with her fluttering eyes, and she called out in a chipper voice. "Hey Twilight, I was wondering if you could help me figure out what this new twitch of mine might mean. It's been going on all day and it's been kind of hard to keep a straight face." She gave them a bright smile, her ears and eyes flopping and fluttering away, as they stared at her.

The sound of a slide whistle drew her attention upward, and her eyes widened as she reared back with a huge gasp, jabbing a hoof toward the bizarre creature reverse grazing on the ceiling. "YOU!!!"

The pony thing splayed its legs out like the spokes on a wheel and rotated to face her, pointing a fore hoof back at her. "Mott the Hoople! Eckspeleleoatendote waddatinchoo! Shpadoinkle!"

Pinkie dropped to all fours, let out a snort, and dragged a hoof on the ground in challenge, a fierce scowl settling on her face. "Bring it on, Donkey Kong!"

The bizarre inverted equine started making siren noises and spinning like a ceiling fan, faster and faster until it resembled a saucer with a beanie clad head poking up out of the center. It came spiraling down toward the pink party pony while her panicked friends scattered in all directions. Pinkie bunched her legs under her and poinged into the air with a mighty leap, meeting her foe midway in a burst of confetti.

The pink mare and mare-oid hit the floor jitterbugging, the boards beneath their hooves shaking with the fury of their swing dancing as the skies doubtless shook when Princess Celestia battled Nightmare Moon for control of the heavens a millennium ago. Twilight and the rest of her friends cowered back from the syncopated onslaught, scarcely able to comprehend what they were watching, let alone figure out where the big band music was suddenly coming from.

Pinkie and the strange creature's dance routine came to a sudden pause, with the pink party pony mere inches from the floor in a low dip with the swirling ponylike thing looming over her, its other hoof raised in a flourish. A smile curled across Pinkie's face, and she gave the thing a knowing look. "Touché, pussy cat!"

With that, she craned her neck up and planted a smooch on the creature's snout. It instantly dropped her, spluttering and grimacing and wiping its muzzle with the back of its foreleg.

Meanwhile, Pinkie sprang to her feet with a broad grin. "I'll give you points for enthusiasm, but you just don't have the skills to pay the bills, rookie." She reached behind her and seemingly out of nowhere produced a large forked log with long, snaking rubber bands looped around the ends. She handed the shaft of the wooden fork to the pony thing. "Here, hold this for me, would you?"

When the bizarre creature accepted it Pinkie took hold of the rubber band in her teeth and hopped lightly away, pulling the stretchy material out the door behind her. The beanie clad being stood with its eyes spiraling in opposite directions, dutifully holding the forked log as the span of rubber drew itself taut.

After a few beats, the band went loose again, and a moment later a huge boulder painted to resemble an eyeball came sailing through the door, splintering the frame, and slammed into the hapless ponyform, sending it crashing into the opposite wall in a shower of books.

In the stunned silence that followed, the five mares and one baby dragon could only trade thoroughly boggled glances with one another and stare into space. They all looked toward the door as Pinkie came hopping through, a top hat jauntily perched on her head.

She gave them all a grin, and flipped the hat off of her head and onto the floor. With a flourish, she jammed her foreleg down into the hat all the way up to her armpit. She pulled forth the dazed, disheveled figure of Button Stitch and set her upright on her rear hooves. Pinkie took a deep bow, while the beige mare weaved in place for a moment before toppling to the floor with a clunk.

With a satisfied nod, the victorious pink pony reached down into the top hat again and pulled out the green and yellow propeller beanie, which she placed on her own head and then turned, hopping out the door with her nose held high. "I'll be at Sugar Cube Corner baking snickerdoodles if anypony needs me."

***

Daylight crept into Button's consciousness, clearing away the dreamless, swirling darkness that her mind floated in. This was good. Morning. Princess Celestia's gift to all ponies. Nothing more dependable or predictable.

She savored the stillness for a few moments, allowing other sensations to drift over her. She was lying in a bed. This was good. She wasn't hanging from a closet rod or sitting in a sink or wedged uncomfortably under a coffee table or lying face down in a mound of popcorn like that... that first time.

The room's ambiance was different, though. It smelled clean, which was good, but with a strong hint of a perfume she recognized but couldn't place. The sheets felt like satin, not her accustomed plain starched linen. The mattress was much softer than she was used to as well, and wider. It was quiet, save for some indistinct sounds coming up from below. The ever present, comforting tick tock of her clocks was absent.

The earth pony dared to let her eyes open a crack. An elegant brocade of lavender and pink in a diamond pattern trimmed with snowy lace adorned a canopy over the bed. She stirred, and raised her head, casting a searching gaze over a finely appointed bedroom. She muttered softly under her breath. "This is not my beautiful house... Well... how did I get here?"

Her visual tour of her surroundings ended at the foot of the bed, where she met the gaze of a small primrose colored face looking over a set of little hooves propped up on the corner of the bed. She knew this filly, but couldn't place her name. Button was unaccustomed to the look of rapt interest etched on the youthful features.

Before the disoriented shopkeeper could speak, the young unicorn drew in a breath and shouted over her shoulder in a voice loud enough to crack the heavens and possibly throw even Celestia's dawn off schedule. "RARITY! MISS STITCH IS AWAKE NOW!"

The beige mare's ears levered back against her head and she gave a small whimper as the throbbing in her head took its cue from that crescendo and broke into a vamp.

When the pain had subsided enough for her to open her eyes, she found the filly still watching her intently. The pair of them stared at each other for a while, before Button decided to try to engage her spectator in hopes that she could persuade her to go away. "Um... Is there something you want from me, Miss... uh... Miss?"

The unicorn filly kept her soft green eyes riveted on her. "Are you gonna turn into a weirdo again?"

Before Button could even begin to parse what the little pony had asked, a mannered voice called out from the doorway with an admonishing tone. "Sweetie Belle! What sort of question is that?"

Filly and mare looked over to see Rarity standing there with a cross expression on her alabaster face, a tray bearing a silver tea service hovering behind her in a cloud of magic.

The younger unicorn tapped her chin in thought, and then looked earnestly at her sister. "A direct one?"

Rarity rolled her sapphire colored eyes and jerked her horn toward the door, causing the tray to bobble a little. "Well... you just go direct-ly downstairs and find something to keep yourself busy..." She paused, suppressing a small shudder before pressing on. "... while I talk to Miss Stitch and find out how she's feeling. All right?"

The filly raised a note of protest. "But..."

Her sister swished her tail in irritation and pointedly cleared her throat. The little unicorn's face fell, and her small hooves thudded softly on the carpeted floor as she pulled them off of the corner of the bed and turned to slouch out of the room.

She paused at the door, turned, and ran back to the bedside, rearing up with her hooves on the mattress and leaning in toward the nonplussed earth pony mare with a solicitous expression on her face. "Weirdo or not, I hope you feel better soon."

The beige mare blinked in surprise, finding herself rather touched by this little display of kindness. "I... I don't... T-thank you."

With that the unicorn filly leapt down and galloped out of the room, ducking around her sister as the elder sibling struggled to keep the tea tray level in her magical grip. Rarity cast a fond gaze after Sweetie Belle, before turning with a smile to approach Button stitch.

She brought the tray in for a gentle landing on the satin sheets next to the recumbent mare. She sat down on a stool beside the bed and levitated a teapot from the tray, pouring a measure of fragrant tea into a fine china cup. "So, Button dear, how ARE you feeling this morning? Did you sleep well?"

The earth pony shopkeeper slowly and carefully propped herself up, accepting the steaming tea as it floated to her on the elegant unicorn's magic. "I... I suppose I slept well. Wh-what time is it?"

Rarity gave the slightest pause before answering. "Don't worry about that right now, darling. You still haven't answered my first question. How are you feeling?"

Button rubbed her shoulders with her hooves, a haunted look settling on her features. "N-normal. I feel normal, for now. But... but... AM I going to turn into a... a weirdo, like your little sister said? Is... is that what's been happening to me?"

Rarity caught up the cream pitcher and sugar bowl from the tray and floated them to her. "Cream and sugar, darling?"

The earth pony pursed her lips and furrowed her brow. "I never take cream and sugar." Her expression darkened. "You're avoiding MY questions. If I'm supposed to answer yours, you should answer mine."

The alabaster unicorn settled the cream pitcher down but levitated a cube of sugar out of the bowl and let it plunk into Button's teacup. She gave an apologetic nod to the creeping indignation on her guest's face. "I'm sorry, my dear, but it's vital that you vary your routine if you wish to avoid becoming ahem... a "weirdo" again."

The shopkeeper's expression shifted from annoyance to puzzlement. "I... I don't understand."

Rarity sighed, and poured herself a cup of tea. "Well, if I've got my head wrapped properly around Twilight Sparkle's explanation, there are forces of order and forces of chaos inside every pony, that are more or less in balance as we live our daily lives. In you, however, those forces are rather out of balance. I may be presuming a bit on our acquaintance to say that you favor the side of order rather heavily."

Button's expression clouded. "Of... of course. Order means predictability, predictability means stability, stability means... means s-security."

The unicorn looked at her with searching sapphire eyes over her teacup. "So you adhere to such rigid schedules and patterns because they comfort you?"

The beige mare took a thoughtful sip of her tea. "Mm... Interesting flavor." A wistful expression settled on her face. "I won't bore you with the details, Miss Rarity, but suffice to say that my family wasn't what you'd call well off. We made ends meet, barely, and... and unforeseen events usually brought hardship."

Her brow became troubled as unhappy memories began to haunt her, and her lower lip started to quiver. She hugged herself, tears welling in her eyes, as her voice became softer and softer. "Un... unforeseen events like... like m-me..."

A blue sparkle of magic floated the teacups out of the way as Rarity rose to her hind legs and took the quietly sobbing mare into a hug, rubbing her back. "Darling... Shhh... Darling, listen to me. One thing my mother always told me is that a foal is ALWAYS a blessing, no matter what the circumstances of their birth."

Rarity cocked an ear toward the doorway to make sure there were no eavesdropping fillies hanging about. The sound of a crash and a clatter from downstairs both reassured and unnerved her, as she leaned in to speak to Button in a low voice. "My own little sister was something of a surprise to my parents, and to me as well, but never a day goes by where I'm not overjoyed to have her sharing the world with me. She is a treasure I would never part with for all the diamonds in Equestria."

She gently pushed the earth pony mare back so that she was looking her in the eyes. "Not all surprises are bad ones. Many are wonderful!" A pensive look settled on the earth pony's face as Rarity gave her a gentle smile.

The unicorn brought the teacups back into their respective orbits as she sat Button back against the head of the bed and took her seat once again, plucking another sugar cube from the bowl to drop into the beige mare's tea. "And that's why you need to open yourself up to a bit more randomness, my dear. In your pursuit of a highly structured life, you haven't so much eliminated the chaos part of you as you've suppressed it, let it build up like water in a blocked garden hose."

A dark scowl crossed the elegant unicorn's face. "When that dreadful Discord creature was unleashed, all that bottled up chaos probably drew him to you like a parasprite to a bushel of apples."

A troubled expression settled on Button's brow. "I... I remember when it started to rain... brown stuff... and then things became... odd... I... I remember a voice... like a grandfather clock with no rhythm... it was gloating... cruel... it said I was... I was like a blank canvas just ready to be made into... into a masterpiece..."

Rarity's eyes flared, and her voice simmered. "How dare he... How DARE he... To compare his vandalism to art... To pretend that his thoughtless unmaking was anything even approaching creativity..." She closed her eyes tightly and ground her teeth for a moment. "Twisting my generosity into mindless greed was bad enough, but to... insult my calling by equating it to the pain and terror he was causing innocent ponies... It cuts me to the very quick..."

The fashion designer let out a long, steady breath, meeting Button's troubled gaze with a wan half smile. "Well, thanks to the Elements of Harmony he's gone back to being a rather unattractive bit of clutter in the royal sculpture garden, and I hope the pigeons enjoy him..."

She laid a hoof on the shopkeeper's. "Anyway, to ride the garden hose metaphor into the ground, so to speak, what that horrible monster did to you was equivalent to making a hole in the hose below the blockage, so that what was bottled up would spray out all over, as it were. At least that's how I understand what Twilight explained to me."

The shopkeeper took a tentative sip of her tea and a mild grimace flitted across her face. "Ugh, too sweet." She looked up at Rarity with a pensive expression as the alabaster mare poured a bit more tea into her cup. "So... so when I try to put things in order, what I'm kind of doing is applying pressure and forcing the... the leak to open up again."

Rarity gave her a smile. "Yes, by Celestia I think you've got it. And allowing yourself to... relax a little... in addition to its own benefits, you'll ease the pressure, so to speak."

Button took a sip of her tea, and cocked her head. "Mmm. That's... that's not bad..." She looked at Rarity uncertainly. "But... but I don't know how to be random or relaxed..."

A guardedly wry expression came to her face. "I... I'm afraid I'd start trying to schedule my spontaneity and set myself right back to square one..." She cast the unicorn a pleading look. "What should I do?"

Rarity smiled at her over her teacup. "I think my first and best suggestion would be to be more open to making friends, darling. They provide no end of surprises."

She set the cup down and hopped off the stool. "And on that note, I think it's time you and I, as a couple of new friends, went and did something spontaneous. What say we take a stroll over to the spa and see if they can fit us in for a little pampering."

Button nearly choked on her tea. "Oh... The spa? I don't know, don't... don't we need a reservation? It...it's not the sort of thing I usually..."

She caught herself, and gave the unicorn a fragile smile. "Ah... I think I'll figure this out eventually..."

Rarity gave her a jaunty grin as she floated the tea set off of her bed and headed toward the door with it trailing behind her. "My treat dear, and don't worry. I'm such a good customer of theirs that they make time in the schedule for me whenever I show up."

She gave Button a wink and beckoned with her horn. "Come on."

***

A short time later, the two mares walked out of the front door to Ponyville's spa with their coats gleaming and their hooves sparkling in the afternoon sun. Button Stitch's light brown mane and tail hung loose in the warm breeze. The spa's expert stylists had added a bit of curl and some soft gold highlights, which set her amber eyes off beautifully.

Rarity admired the effect as they ambled across the town square. "My dear, you look like a whole new mare, and not a "weirdo" at all. I told you that Aloe and Lotus would find something better to do with your mane than winding it up tight like a new spool of thread."

Button smiled shyly. "I might have to start going there regularly, as long as it's not so regular I end up all..." She wiggled her head back and forth and briefly crossed her eyes before letting out a soft giggle.

The alabaster unicorn let out a chuckle. "Don't worry, I'm a fervent supporter of surprise spa visits. I'll make sure to help you keep things switched up."

The earth pony breathed out a long, happy breath, before turning to her companion expectantly. "So... What should we do now?"

A cagey expression settled on the fashionable mare's features. "Oh, I was thinking you might like to go to your shop and take a look."

At this, Button's face fell. "Oh... Yes, I suppose I'll have to face the chaos in there sooner or later. I guess it doesn't do anypony any good in the state it's in."

Rarity smiled and arched an eyebrow. "Well, I'll admit I do have a bit of an ulterior motive. I've got schedules I need to keep too, you know, and you and your wares are a pivotal part of that."

Button sniffled and gave the unicorn a smile. "You know... that's a good feeling too. Having someone depend on you."

A look of resolve settled on the beige mare's features. "The sooner I can get back on my hooves, the better. Lets go."

***

A joyous cry went up inside the small shop as soon as the bell jingled. "SURPRISE!"

Button stood with eyes as wide as saucers, taking in the spectacle before her. Her shop had been cleaned up, not to the pristine order that she had once kept it, but neat and tidy. It was complete, rather than perfect.

With the addition of balloons and streamers that had been liberally hung from the reconstituted shelves and bins, it was as inviting as she had ever seen it. Rarity's circle of friends, Twilight Sparkle and Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, her little sister Sweetie Belle, looking happier to be there than Button had ever seen her, and the young filly's friends Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, all stood with bright smiles on their faces around a small table laden with sweets and punch.

Pinkie Pie, the chief architect of the festivities and ascended sage of spontaneity, bounded completely over the table and landed in front of the elated shopkeeper with a wide grin on her face, and placed a party hat with a tiny propellor on top on Button's head, setting it spinning with a flick of a pink hoof.

She let out a giggle as her limpid blue eyes met with her fellow earth pony's glistening amber ones. "A very wise pony once said 'A little nonsense here and there, is relished by the wisest mare.'"

Pinkie stepped forward, gave the shopkeeper a hug, and whispered in her ear. "Welcome to the fun side. We've been waiting for you."

Button Stitch grinned from ear to ear. "Better late than never." She looked around her little shop feeling more at peace there than she ever had before. "I think I could get used to this..."

THE END