The splendid adventures of a undead Monarch

by ZheUbermensch

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Human
Length: 3369

Our glorious Regent ventures into lands yet to be uncharted.

King Alexander of Yugoslavia finds himself in the oddest of the places, it certainly doesn't belong to the world he comes from and it certainly isn't a magical realm hidden in the most terrifying deserts of Africa. Now he either has to run around in the fury of a panic attack, or actually use his brain and think out how to get back home before Mussolini caps' the sea.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-16 04:10:01 UTC

The land--Principality, where horses can speak

Chapter 1

"Away with you, demons!" I shouted, waving my saber at a group of advancing pastel horses. However, this seemed to only encourage to poke at me with iron tipped spears they had. Currently, I was knee-deep in fountain water, surrounded by six of these oddly malformed beasts, who were armored with what seemed to be gold, but it looked more like tin had been painted with a bright yellow. It was funny, since gold wouldn't be the most useful material for armor.

When I first saw these horses, it had scared the wits out of me. Fortunately, my fear gave place to logic and the idea to unsheathe my saber. I'd take a quick look around myself. I was in a heavily damaged fountain made out of marble, in the center of what seemed to be a once lively square. I could notice non-armored horses hiding behind toppled tables and in the safety of the buildings. They watched me with either fascination or fear, but, I couldn't say the same about these armored gnats, who kept on trying to subdue or wound me!

I grit my teeth, iron grazing my left leg, the uniform barely doing anything to protect it. I had enough from this moment, it was time to show these horses who was the dominant species here. I sprung out of the fountain at a now surprised horse guard. The surprisal washed away from its face as my fist connected with it, and it let out a cry of pain with a irritating, high pitch to it. While my first victim collapsed on its back, I immediately turned to the left, now facing a winged horse-- a pegasus, to be more correct. With a beat of its wings, it'd attempt to tackle me down using a charge, yet I used the genius idea of stepping to the side.

The pegasus crashed into the horse I punched, sending them both rolling on the cobblestone ground, to end up in a tangle of limbs. Groans of pain came from the tangle, but I couldn't care less on how hurt they were.

Angry neighing came from the group of still active horses. One dared to cross my path and swing its spear at my face, but I raised up my saber and blocked the attack, proceeding to kick its armored chest and send it stumbling backwards to the fountain. This was easy. Another horse tried its fate against me, and I struck at it with my saber. The curved blade struck a spear that was lifted to protect its owner, but the sheer force of my attack broke the polearm, and that was followed by the blade cutting through flesh and bone.

I cringed, seeing that the saber has made a ugly gash across its forehead, and the beast toppled over, either dead or, if unlucky, unconscious.  But then, I felt as if I was struck by a warhammer. I flew back into the fountain, sending up a splash of water at both myself and my foes. Pain ached from my left arm, I couldn't move it too.  One of the winged horses, with a coat of purple (as silly as it is) and mane of black hopped over the small fountain wall and with its spear aimed at me.

I was faster.

My right arm flung itself at its neck, and the saber cut through half of it, spraying blood all over its body and my face, to much of my dismay. The horse collapsed, trapping my saber beneath it. I couldn't allow it to end like this. Yet the chances of negotiation and retreat were thin. But I'd show them how a king fights, a Yugoslavian king! With a battle cry, I reached out for my pistol, a last resort. I aimed the firearm at a frightened horse and pulled the trigger, sending a bullet between its eyes. Bone and tissue flew at its comrades, but there were more than I had previously seen.

Still, how dare they harass me? I am of royal birth, a leader too! They'll suffer for such insult! I fired off two more shots, wounding one more foe and killing another with a near perfect headshot. My eyes trailed the path of where my barrel was aimed at, and then I saw something that shook me.

It was a tall beast, with a navy blue coat that reminded of the night sky itself. It had a long, thick mane filled with stars on a background of dark blue. It also had a long and dangerously sharp horn, that was intimidating with a glare on its face. I felt my frown expand at the sight of it, and I could swear I saw a odd glow form up on the tip of the already mentioned horn.

Unfortunately for my position, that gave another, even more malformed or mutated beast to attack me. Its jaws clamped down on my right, pistol wielding hand. I screamed in pain, for the fangs that dug into my hand would just keep on going deeper, as if the goal of this bat-like monster of a being was to snap it in a half. I pulled the trigger, letting a shot fly off into a neighboring building, the bullet destroying a pot with a graceful flower falling out of it almost immediately, followed by bits of brown ceramic. The gunshot would work a wonder for me, the loud noise forcing the terrifying beast to let go and collapse on its side in the water that has lost its original quantity. It would press its forelegs on its ears, whimpering.

I turned the barrel back upon the tall horse, but the inferiors would stab, slash and beat at me in a attempt to bring me down, recognizing the devastating power of gunpowder. Yet as I went on to use my pistol, tragedy struck me.

CLICK.

"You never know when the pistol might fail you, your highness." I could remember the words of a friend I made in the lower ranks of the army, he was a quartermaster with good knowledge on firearms and oft told me how the pistols the officers are given tend to jam at each single moment of need.

My eyes went wide, and I didn't stand a chance against a upcoming tackle. I collapsed down, seeing a gold-armored hoof slowly rise up in the air. I was immobile in this position, only able to wrap my right, wounded hand around the neck of this non-winged and non-horned bastard on top of me. Blood slid down my hand from the bite marks-- if they could be called such. I only saw two, giant holes tainted with warm blood. But the pain let my grip waver, and the hoof was brought upon my face.

Darkness itself descended upon my eyes.

"Why are we keeping this beast here, sister?" - "We should destroy it for causing such brutality and chaos to happen!"

"I understand your anger, Luna, but it is easy to explain why he acted so. Why did our Guards attack and attempt to subdue him upon sight?"

"Well--"

"This being also comes from an entire new species. . something I had never seen before." - "It must have been shocked upon the sight of our citizens, as they may have reacted the same way upon his appearance." - "But are the drills that are meant to make them more focused and disciplined working so bad?"

"Sister, I understand that you may not be sa-- Sister, what is wrong?"

"He is waking up."

Of course I was waking up. I don't like to be asleep when a duo is discussing what to do with me, especially with my life at risk. My eyes opened with the expectations of seeing two Goddesses or Overlords that had created this place glare down at me. I only saw two giant horses, the first being the one I had tried to shoot.

I could only hope that the far more calmer and aged horse spares me from the wrath of its smaller sibling. Such hopes were strengthened as the pearl white coated horse asked me this in a rather calm tone, "are you feeling alright?"

I did feel alright for only but the slightest, and I was confused on why I wasn't slain for such mischief I had made at the fountain. But we were not at the fountain, we were at a large hall that had a giant, well decorated throne of gold and fine, red leather. I was currently sitting on a blood red carpet, which was laid in between two lines of marble pillars that also were close to large walls filled with various forms of stained glass. A magnificent chandelier of some sort hung from the ceiling, its light shone down on my face. This clearly had to be the center of power in whatever settlement or castle I was at.

A small amount of fear rose up from me, for I saw the giant, white horse's frown worsen, therefore I made a hasty and nervous reply to her well meant question that still waited for my answer, "I am feeling well, but your stares are frightening. Could you stop and at least smile?" What a sensational answer, I might have as well told them both that they're horrifying beasts and that they should get out of my sight. Fortunately, I added another word for the sake of at least improving a slightest amount of my image to them, "please?"

The large, white horse gave me a wide smile, and I could see the amusement on her face grow. Meanwhile, her sister did take offense to my answer. She'd be gaining a deep shade of red on her face from the anger that she would be suppressing in herself. Maybe it was because I was still alive, even though I had killed her inferior servants-- or that I am simply far too much of a impolite idiot to even be in her presence.

The calm, aged and female voice did cut my panic off, "I apologize." I arched a eyebrow high on that, rather confused on why would a giant horse whose servants I have slain given me an apology. Yet it was better than a death sentence. "You have caused plenty of trouble, and I'm sure you didn't mean to do it." She said to me, and I began to stand up, my actions followed by a hard glare coming from the sister of this giant. "I'm also sure that you have a explanation for what you've done, too."

"I assure you, I meant no harm towards your servants," I began, stealing a glance at my right arm. The clothing on it has been shredded into mere ribbons of bright grey, yet I saw no wound. "I was attacked and occasionally stabbed by them, and I do understand -- as I have understood it several minutes after my 'arrival', that it was done out of fear and hopes of peaceful containment." A small pause came for me, and I considered my next words carefully. I was barely keeping myself from stuttering too, for the fear that I had from these horses was still there. "Yet how could have they not understood that both sides could have solved it in a far more peaceful fashion? . . . Yes, I myself should not have reached for my firearm and used it upon several unlucky individuals. But I was angry, angry that a man of royal birth and a leading position such as myself is to be attacked with such harshness and ferocity."

When I had said 'royal birth', I saw expressions of surprisal appear on their faces, although the white horse did keep that sad frown on in a poor attempt to cover it up. Those cute, oversized, purple eyes did betray everything. "I am ready to do anything for your forgiveness and the forgiveness of the families of your servants. . if they have any families, that is?"

"I assure you, they have loving and caring families." The white horse said, "and you say that you're of royal descendance?"

"Yes." I could feel my back automatically straighten, for I did feel proud to be a noble. The frown on the white horse's face evolved into a small, barely noticeable smile.

"We thought of you as a high-ranking officer, due to your militaristic appearance." - "It is a bit too much medals for a simple officer. ." She let out a sigh, "and as a noble. . I'm sure you'll be kind enough to apologize to the families of those fallen to your blade and . . 'firearm' ?" I could see pretty much little amount of hope in her eyes. It was smart of her not to put too much hope into something unknown that has too much negative things hanging on it, like my arrival here.

But I accepted the offer, mostly because I'd have no say in this conversation due to me being in a completely foreign location, with pastel horses with oversized eyes. I'm also sure I'd be forced to do it anyways, "I will do it." - "But, I am concerned if these families are to react well upon the sight of me." I looked from her to the blue horse, who'd be named 'Luna', "and I am pretty sure they either fear me or hate me."

"The families of the killed will be informed on the event by me personally." She cast a glance at the still angry Luna, who'd be still giving me a hard glare. This glance made me also give her more than a glance, a long stare, to be more correct. Maybe that was half the reason why I was still fearing these horses. Asides from this either being a dream or some sort of sadistic experiment, that glare-- those cat like eyes had me depicted in them, burning whilst tied on a pole, screaming for help without it being heard.

I thought of it as a horrible hallucination, until a loud cough broke my stare I had directed at Luna. I looked back at the tall, white horse and apologized for not giving her attention.

"And do not worry for your own safety. I shall be there when your apologies are made." She said, looking at her throne. She seemed to be saddened by the events, but was nevertheless satisfied that I'd at least have accepted to apologize to the victim's families.

I cleared my throat for the attention of both horses, and it did work. Both stared at me, waiting for me to say whatever I had kept in myself, "during this entire conversation, it has fallen to me that we do not know each other's names." I gave both a warm smile, something I really didn't want to do, but for the sake of friendliness, I did it anyways. "I am Alexander Karachordchevich (Karađorđević), King of the Independent State of Yugoslavia."

"I am Celestia, Princess of the Equestrian Principality." 'Celestia' said, not surprised with me saying that I held a ruling position. Her sister, meanwhile, stood shocked.

"You're a King?" Luna arched a eyebrow high, clearly in disbelief that a being such as me would hold such position. I could see the hate she had for me in her eyes, the sudden xenophobia caused by only a few, unintentional deaths. Well, maybe they were intentional, but I was completely surrounded by horses that kept on stabbing at me! "Tell us more of this 'Yugoslavia'."

I'd nod, "it is a country on the Balkan Peninsula on the continent of Europe, which has freed itself recently from the chains of our oppressive, Austrian and Hungarian . . . lords."

She took several steps towards me, asking me another question. "How did it come that you have gained independence?" - "Since I have seen you commit the foul deed of claiming lives so easily, I am sure that it was violent?"

"Very violent." I nodded once again, "it came out of the ruins of a weakened country Serbia had bested." - "It came out of the ruins of a World War." For dramatic effect, I made a small pause, "millions have died in this war, and three empires have been destroyed in its wake, and two more have been weakened."

"Millions?" Luna said, thinking that such number may be a simple exaggeration made by this beast that I was for her.

"I assure you, I have lived through that war. You may trust my source of information on it." - "But anyways, I would like to ask our dear Princess Celestia to tell me when am I to be summoned to apologize to the families of those who I have slain?" I promised to hang myself for saying that when I got the chance to do so. To speak in such a fashion just because I was a lost king stranded in the middle of some odd, horse populated country did hurt my sense of power and pride.

"It'll be soon. But I am sure that if you participated in such a bloody war, you may know how it is for families to hear of the deaths of their sons or daughters." Celestia frowned. "It'll take time." She'd look at Luna, "sister, could you be kind enough to show Sir Alexander around Canterlot?" Sir Alexander, what a joke!

Luna would only nod on Celestia's request, looking at me with a glare once again. I didn't look back, my eyes tracking Celestia until she left the throne room under the protection of two, spear bearing horses.

How do they even carry spears with hooves?

I looked back at Luna, who'd then give me a horrible, mischievous grin that stretched to her ears. This sort of immaturity clearly didn't fit an actual horse of royal birth. I took several steps back out of caution, and she advanced on me. My brain told me to strike up a off-topic conversation, and so, for the sake of not being torn apart because of a unfortunate accident, I began talking about my wife.

"I'm telling you, the King's corpse simply vanished out of thin air!" A simple capped soldier with a dark green uniform said to his taller comrade, "simply--" he'd mime a coffin disappearing just with a wave of both his hands, "just like that!"

His comrade shook his head, "it ought to be the Italians. Those bastards are just waiting to get all those traitor legions over to use to cause trouble, and later claim our damn sea!" He'd raise his left hand in the air, clenching it into a fist, "I bet Mussolini himself got this set up in Rome, and now he's gonna laugh at it!"

"Nonsense, go back to whatever madhouse you came from!" The first one said, "Mussolini ain't got time for that, it's probably his croonies!" - "This is just a insult to Yugoslavia!"

"Hark, says the one who witnessed a coffin disappear!" - "Out of thin air!"

Shouting came from the JRM Dubrovnik, a currently docked destroyer of the Yugoslavian army which had been tasked with transporting the corpse of the dead Yugoslavian king. Two days ago, did the corpse simply vanish into thin air, which made the administration of the port of Split declare martial law and send in military battalions to search for potential thieves and spies, along with several smaller warships being deployed to scan the sea and coast for any sign of a smuggling attempt. People were mad, and they thought of it being a insult from Italy or Hungary-- perhaps both countries had their fingers in the assassination. Relations tensed up, and northern towns in Yugoslavia had reported more discrimination and hate shown to foreign minorities, especially those of Italian nationality.

Nearly each adult Yugoslav knew that Mussolini had set his eyes upon the good prize, the Dalmatian and Istrian coast and sea. He wanted to dominate it to complete his goal of total Mediterranean control.

All he needed is a powerful ally in Berlin and a valid casus belli. . .