Cipher was down on his luck. As a young colt, he’d never imagined that he would one day live on the streets in Manehattan. He never thought it could realistically happen to anypony. Nevertheless, despite his musings and numerous justifications for why he shouldn’t be out in the cold, he was.
Cipher was homeless. He’d moved to the city several years prior in the last ditch hopes that he could discover himself. In a twist of irony, the city that he hoped would save him, slowly hammered the final nails into his self made coffin.
The alley he dwelled in was damp and the immensely tall buildings around him dominated much of the cityscape. The cold weather chilled his breath and the slowly approaching winter rain sent a pitter patter of freezing raindrops down onto the roof of his poorly constructed shelter.
When he cast his mind back, Cipher tried to pinpoint where it all went wrong.
Despite being a well-liked pony in his school years, he found it stunning that no single pony he once called a friend would offer him assistance when he was in a time of need. He thought ponies would have leaped at the chance to show kindness, the same as he’d once shown all of them. So, naturally, he was jealous after the dust had settled and he’d come to terms with their unanimous rejections.
When he reflected back on his life, there was always a moment missing for Cipher.
His friends all had their moment years ago, their moment of realisation. They’d had their revelations and set their destinies when they were oh-so-suddenly thrust upon them. Cipher never had this moment. His destiny had not made itself clear.
It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried! He’d done everything that he could to try and assure his destiny! He’d bucked clouds, he’d baked cakes and he’d bashed cymbals all to no avail. Nothing he did could trigger his precious moment.
For a society that valued friendship over everything, he felt more than a little cheated.
He’d always been told by his parents that he should have realised something about himself by his age. He couldn’t recall the number of times that his father told him the same story over and over. Every day he came home without that sacred mark, he would be reminded of his failure and that he was nothing.
His father never spared the details of how he earned his mark. In the good old days of labour, he’d worked hard, he’d earned his bread and he’d earned his mark naturally! At fifteen years of age, from a poverty-stricken upbringing, his father did what he couldn’t do at almost half his age.
It all seemed ridiculous, but what could Cipher do? Where could he go? He really didn’t know where to turn after burning all his bridges. He had no idea how he was supposed to drive himself forwards, he always struggled going forwards.
In his eyes, if something was going to change, it would have changed. His future was set because he had accepted his past.
Perhaps he was thinking about it wrong, he knew others without their marks and they always banded together when no work could be found. They weren’t heartless ponies. Far from it, in fact; they were his only real friends. They were the few who he could call wonderful, empathic, genuine, feeling ponies. Like him, they just lacked their moments.
Maybe destiny was like a path. Everypony walks it, but along the way, some shining, brilliant stars burn out and fall early, never to return. Possibly there was time to find his direction. All he needed was that one good day and he could potentially set his life back into motion! If he hung on for a few moments longer, perhaps, finally he could be thrown that precious life line.
He would no longer be Cipher the disappointment. He could change and he wouldn’t have to accept that he was the dreg of society. He wouldn’t be ashamed to walk amongst the crowd of the lowest of the low. He could finally learn his purpose in life and fulfill his destiny!
That motivation was all he needed to break through the wall that society had created for him. After all, what was supposed to happen to the ponies that didn’t find their place? How could they submit to a system that never even pretended to care for them? Should they have to work themselves to death hating every second of their lives just because they’re different? Absolutely not! Yet that is what’s necessary.
They should teach it in the schools. Your life will be made or broken by the presence of a mark. Earn it, or submit to living the rest of your existence hating what you do.
Even though Cipher hadn’t earned his moment, he knew that his destiny was written. He would continue to struggle on, he might even get by, but as long as the ponies of Equestria saw him as blank, he knew that he would be judged and he would be seen as talentless and useless.
Cipher struck a match. He had to prolong the life of the dismal fire in front of him; it was his only warmth. As the match caught onto the dismal fire, Cipher cast his gaze upwards, to Manehattan’s incredible skyscrapers. He thought of the high society dining above him. They’d all had their chances, if Cipher had his, then he might have been one of those fortunate ponies. If destiny hadn’t so rudely pushed him away from his path, he could have had a shot.
Cipher let that thought simmer for a few seconds as his eyes met with the fire’s own gaze. He simply allowed his mind to wander and think ‘what if?’ just to torture himself. As he admired the burning embers at his hooves, he thought about the future. This fire would eventually smolder out, turn to ashes and die. At least the fire had a plan.
Author's Note
By any chance, if you saw my last blog post, I said I'd speak!
I haven't given up on Gone, this short story should summarise how I've felt for a while now. I can fully understand hitting the downvote button, this story is poorly written (like my other material) and I deserve downvotes all over my face, but this had to come out. When I said I was venting in the description, I mean that this has helped relieve some frustration at the situation I'm currently in! I blame it on rising cost of chicken nuggets.
If by some miracle, you have nothing negative to say about this AND you enjoyed this, then I'm glad you did! Enjoy the rest of your day and I'll talk to you another time! Don't hesitate to PM either, I don't bite!
~Bari
