Humans exist! Not only that, they’ve lived among us for years, decades, even centuries!
While they lived, had adventures, raised families, and died, they unknowingly left a trace of humanity. Today with advancements in technolomancy, humans can finally strut their two freakishly long legs, letting everyone know they exist and come in peace.
Had an eccentric parent? Was you great great grandmother from some “far away land” Want to find out if you too have a pair of freaky legs waiting for you? Now you can, using just a dab of DNA and a proprietary magical solution, you too can discover if you have a trace of humanity! Just follow the instructions in the kit.*
*Warning, Magi-Co industries is not responsible or liable for any psychological damages that our product may cause use at your own discretion.
Based on/Inspired by Life Ever After by Goof Theorist
Slice of life about various characters discovering things about themselves and others.
Author's Note
Hey look at that, i had an idea for a story that wasn't 100 chapters long!
Anyway, i came up with this today and decided it looked well enough to put out
Tentatively rated E for everyone, might change to teen later on depending on what happens.
I will update the characters as they are used
They wrote off my crazy theories. They said they were a myth. They said “anthropology isn’t a real subject”, but they were wrong. Humans are real, and not only that, ponies can be humans!
Of course now looking back, some of my theories did turn out to be a bit inaccurate. I mean how was I supposed to know that humans don’t actually wear the skins of animals they slay or fight to the death for their mates? The myths always described humans as being warlike, and gryphons are warlike, so they should have been similar right?
The mint green unicorn was dragged out of her thoughts as she had finally arrived at her house, a couple paper bags floated behind her. Opening the door she was greeted by her marefriend Bon Bon chopping away at some celery in their kitchen preparing dinner. She floated a pile of bags onto the counter, exchanged some small talk with her friend and quietly made her way back to their bedroom with a smaller bag.
Bon Bon hadn’t been too keen on the whole humanity thing, but she had put up with Lyra’s theories for years because she loved her too much to let that get between them.
“Honeybuns, you were pretty off about them” she had said when they read the news, “I mean weren’t you convinced, just last week that humans laid eggs and had larvae?"
Lyra frowned at the thought. Her theories may have turned out to be purely speculative, but since humans, real humans were now out and about… Oh the anticipation was killing her. She knew, deep down, she knew that she had to have the genes. Ever since she was a little filly, and her grandfather had told her the stories about his hu-man friends, she had always wanted to experience their world. She had secretly dreamed for years about this, even publishing a few theories anonymously. Today though was the day she made the leap, to fulfill her greatest dream, to have hands and feet and legs and skin and hair and...
Setting the bag on the bed, she lifted out two test kits and set them on the bed next to it. One kit for her and one for Bon Bon, just in case she wanted to try. Next to the company logo, the title on the box was printed in big bold letters "Trace of Humanity Test!" with a picture of a human spread out and a pony superimposed on top of him, the humans had called it "the Vitruvian man" in one of their books on art. All told, when they revealed themselves, they had prepared a treasure trove of books on where they came from, and what they were. Lyra had rushed out and bought copies of as many as she could afford, checking out the ones she couldn't from the library.
She scanned the label on the back of the box, “Magi-Co Humanity Test, Contains the following: 1 Gene Test Potion, 1 Temporary Potion of Transformation, duration may vary, see doctor if lasts more than 2 hours, 1 robe, one size fits all.” She ripped the side open and dumped the contents on the bed.
The instructions were simple, add water and a few hairs to the test, shake, and wait 10-15 minutes for the test to change color then mix with the transformation potion and drink.
Without hesitation she yanked a few hairs from her mane like the instructions showed, added the water, and shook the potion up. The mixture fizzed and the hairs dissolved, leaving a clear solution in the vial.
“Oh this is going to be soo good, in just a few minutes I’ll finally have hands!” Lyra squeed, this was the most excited she had ever been in her life. The minutes crept by painfully as Lyra stared at the potion.
After an excruciatingly long time however, the potion stood unchanged.
Lyra panicked. What had she done wrong?! She flipped through the instructions, poured over the box, but nothing helped. “Maybe I didn’t give it enough hair, or or maybe It was a defective batch, ya that’s probably it!”
She looked over at the second kit. She had bought it for Bon Bon, but surely she wouldn’t mind especially if Lyra’s kit was broken.
Being extra careful this time, she extracted the contents of the box and set them gently on the bed. She winced a little as she pulled a clump of fur out, and repeated the process. “It’s got to work this time.” she reassured herself.
After another excruciating period, the test stubbornly refused to change. Lyra's head sank in defeat. Here was her proof that she was a human, and the test was telling her otherwise. “Why fates!” she cried.
Scattering the contents of the bed, she buried her face in the pillows and cried.
Hearing the commotion Bon Bon knocked on the door “Sweetie? Are you OK”
Lyra just buried her head into the pillow some more not wanting Bon Bon to hear her sob. Her life’s dream was taken from her by one stupid potion, what had she done to deserve this?
The door creak open, Bon bon saw the two opened boxes and their contents strewn about, and her best friend, the one mare in the world she cared about more than anything else, buried in a stack of wet pillows. She sat down on the bed and stroked her friend’s back.
Lyra stopped crying, a hand was stroking her, a human hand, and it was working its way through her mane as only a human hand could.
Extracting herself from the pillows, she looked over.
On the edge of the bed, clothed in a robe, a woman…no, Bon Bon sat, stroking her fur.
“Lyra, I guess I have a surprise for you.” She said blushing.
Lyra smiled and wiped the tears away from her eyes. Maybe she wasn’t a human after all, but she had the next best thing, her very own human!
Author's Note
So anyways, first work that i think is simple enough for me to write and get some feedback. Let me know in the comments who you want to see take the test. Also let me know what you think about the story in general.