Where You Learn that Pronunciation Matters
How does something like this even happen?! Alright, so, recap: You were done with a heavy, sweaty workout and it stands to reason that you'd want to shower after, right? Sure you skipped legs, but that can be tomorrow because you wanted to do a little extra "cardio" in the shower.
How is it that as soon as you attempted to step in that the universe decided it was time to say "Nah, man, I don't want stability, I want to fuck some shit up"?
Everything just smelled blue for a moment as stars burst in front of your eyes. You thought it was because you hit the weights too hard, but no, you were always careful to make sure you ended each workout right before you got tired.
Rubbing your eyes, the first thought that hits you is how the hell did you accidentally get the rug outside your shower into it just by stepping in. As you open your eyes again, the second thought that hits you is how the hell did you end up in this big ass hallway. Third thought, oh fuck naked, gotta get out of here before someone—
You don't even have time to register the complete thought before you see two horses wearing armor trotting towards you and...TALKING?! HOW THE FUCK!
“So, I said, listen, I said to him that that was mighty impressive, but all that cheese is going to come back to say...WHAT IS THAT!?”
Both horses stop in their tracks. The one was just speaking has...Gender? Sounds like a girl. Her eyes are glued to you and the other one has a look of deep confusion on her face as she stares at her companion. You guess both are female? They look exactly the fucking same
“...I don't get it.”
Your brain must be broken, that's what it is. One of the horses in front of you reaches over to the other one and turns her friend's head towards you.
“Oooooh...Now I get it...WHAT IS THAT?!” Both horses' eyes look you up and down before simultaneously locking onto the one part you didn't want them to. Oh god no.
“HE'S NOT IN HIS SHEATH! HE'S INDECENTLY EXPOSING HIMSELF, GET HIM!”
You back up a few steps and hold up your hands in a gesture of surrender.
“Now, now...Uuh..Ladies?..Let's be reasonable he—”
“HE'S BEING REASONABLE, GET HIM!”
And that was all it took, you're not going to stand there and let these horses do who the hell knows what to you. You take off in a full sprint in the opposite direction with two sets of four hooves soon following you. And from the sounds of it, they're gaining on you. Oh right...Horses. Fast. Shit. Wait, they probably can't corner worth a damn, so why not try some turning? That's a neat trick.
You grab onto a corner to make as sharp a turn as possible and the hooves thunder past briefly before you practically hear the skids of them hitting the brakes. Yes! That'll work perfectly! Just gotta turn a lot and they'll be worn out soon enough.
You continue to make as many turns as you possible can, occasionally having a brain fart as you notice maid horses. What the fuck is even the point of that?! You even vault over some weird ass white horse with a suit vest on, a weird ass compass on its butt, AND DID YOU SEE A HORN?! You faintly hear a “I like stallions now” from the dazed horse. You hope that that was a chick too.
You look behind yourself and grin as you realize you lost your pursuers. Now's the time to take inventory of what's going on. Except the sound of even more hooves than before hits your ears and panic rises up in you yet again. You look around for a hiding place and spot a door with a stylized sun on it. That'll work.
You burst into the room and shut the door behind yourself with triumph on your face. Good thing it wasn't locked. You spot a window over a set of bookshelves. “Jackpot! Freedom!”
You run over to the bookshelves not even noticing the very surprised, larger-than-the-others white horse in the room in the middle of trying to put on some gold trinkets. You climb up towards the window as quickly as you can before you even realize that your hands and feet are so damn sweaty that it's a wonder you got as high as you did before you fell.
Welp, this is how you die. Broken neck in talking horse land. GG, no re. You close your eyes and brace for impact. Wow, you must've been higher than you thought because you somehow missed the ground. Wait, what? You open your eyes to see a golden glow around yourself and you seem to be floating. A very melodic and extremely amused voice hits your ears causing you to finally notice the large white horse.
“What a very peculiar creature. Why are you in my personal quarters trying to get out? Naughty, naughty!~”
“Uuuh...Listen, let's be reas—Let's be civilized here. I was being chased for nothing and I needed to get out and now I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.” You attempt an ingratiating smile towards the horse, noticing that goddammit they did have horns and hers was glowing with the same glow that surrounded you. Was it a she? Definitely a she. Otherwise, that is a very girly dude. Savior horse? Savior horse. Please don't hurt.
The horse slowly meanders over to you, looking you up and down with amusement and curiosity. Just then a knock sounds from the door causing her head to turn toward it. She gives you a reassuring smile as her glow?...Let's just call it telekenesis. Or magic. Magic's faster. Her magic sets you down on a pile of cushions.
“Shh. Let me take care of this.”
You watch her walk towards the door, finally taking in her features as a whole. Weird ass anime hair constantly blowing in nonexistant wind. Cool beans. Oh sweet Jesus, that is a big ass. Why does a horse need hips like that? Is...Is she some sort of high-priced horse hooker?...Do horses even have hookers? Your mind goes to weird places when it's full of adrenaline and fear. You come back to reality hearing voices at the door asking if the white horse had seen a weird thing running around. You can hear the white horse suggest that they check Princess Luna's room. Wait, that means that these horses have royalty?! That's so fucked up. You hope you can meet a royal horse. That'd be fucking amazing.
You squirm a bit on the cushion, wishing you could've taken that shower because now you feel bad for getting this nice horse's pillows all sweaty. You shrug and lean back as the white horse closes the door, no use crying over it now. You watch the horse with a wary eye as she saunters over. Is she sauntering? That's. That's weird, but roll with it
“Uuh. Thanks for the save. I, uh, don't know what to say. I mean. This is the weirdest...Second weirdest thing to ever happen to me aside from that zoo incident. And I've gotta say, I've never seen a horse like you before.”
The horse smiles as you awkwardly thank her, but then her expression grows blank at that last part. When she speaks next, it's with a slight quiver as she flutters her wings. Huh, she's got wings too. Did not notice those around the huge ass.
“What was that? I'm afraid I may have had an itch in my ear. Did...Did you just say you've never seen a whorse like me before?”
You raise an eyebrow. Why the fuck did she put so much emphasis on that first part of the word horse? That's weird. She's weird.
“I. Yeah. You're not like any other horse I've ever seen before. Hell, you even talk and have wings and a horn. Horses where I'm from don't.”
Why are her wings spreading like that? Is she trying to make herself look bigger or something?...Did...Did you make her mad? Oh, no, you didn't. She just has a very weird smile on her face now. It's all cool. Her horn glows once more and you're too busy staring at it to notice a glow overtake the door, too distracted to hear the click of a lock, and too mesmorized to realize that all sound outside the door has been cut off.
“Well, that's so sad for them. I don't think I could go without talking. Unless.” How can a horse sound sultry? Is that even a thing? “You want me to?” Oh god, that's adorable, she's wagging her weird ethereal tail like a dog.
You blink as she steps over you, craning your head back to look up at her. “No, that's cool. I like that you talk. Horses back home aren't as good for conversation as you. Got a name, horsey?”
She seems to shiver with each word as her now-stiff wings give a light flap, her voice still quivering as she seems to REALLY be enjoying the conversation too. “Mmm...Celestia. It's Celestia. And I have to admit something myself. I've never seen such an...exotic and...bold creature before.” Her voice dips into sultry territory again causing you pause. “Might I...examine you...Master?”
You blink at the sudden implication of you owning her, but dude. Talking horse that wants to be your talking horse?! Sweet! You guess she just wants to get to know her new owner now.
“Uuh, yeah, I guess so. What do you need me to do, uuh...Celestia?”
Another shiver rocks Celestia's body as she wordlessly lifts up her hoof and turns it in the air. You get the hint and turn over onto your stomach. Guess she just wants to preserve your modest—THAT'S A HOOF ON YOUR BUTT. THAT IS TWO HOOVES ON YOUR BUTT! Wait, stop. Horses don't fuck for funsies...Right? You are just too stunned to react as she slowly kneads your cheeks in her hooves, the only thing you can think of right now is how can hooves be soft? Gotta ask about that when they're not doing that.
Celestia couldn't fight down her excited grin as she kneaded her new special friend's bottom in her hooves. 'He didn't even FLINCH when I called him Master! Ooh, this is going to be amazing. And such a nice bottom too! I wonder how he smells...'
You fight back your growing feelings of excitement, trying to convince yourself that it's totally innocent and she's just curious before you feel Celestia's hot breath on the back of your neck. You then feel AND hear her eager sniffing, down your spine, under your arms, and even in the back of your head. Horses smell things, you reassure yourself and you fight back a yelp as she gently turns you over onto your back.
“Mmm...You smell wonderful, Master. So musky, earthy. S-salty.”
Your eyes widen as Celestia wriggles herself down on top of you, placing her warm, soft, furry belly between your legs. You begin to suspect that this whole situation has taken a very unexpected turn. Especially so now that she's licking your face up and down with her long horse tongue with a look of complete bliss.
“W-well, I'm glad you approve, Celestia, but uh. I think I need to go take a shower—H—haaaa~...”
Your breath catches as Celestia's tongue finds your neck. It always was a very senstive spot for you and her eager licking is causing more of a reaction than you would've imagined. You squirm a little underneath her as you feel a stirring in your loins and your brain practically locks up as Celestia begins to kiss and nip your neck in between licks. Lick, kiss, nip, lick, kiss, nip.
Celestia hums appreciatively as she feels your cock beginning to harden against her belly and continues her assault on your neck with great enthusiasm.
“Mmm...So good. I wonder what Master looks like...down there~?”
Her words hit you like a freight train. Yep, this horse wants the D. Should...Should you give Celestia the D? [Y/N]
As you debate with yourself the moral implications of wanting to fuck a horse, even a talking one, Celestia lifts herself up and slides down while you're distracted.
Celestia grins widely as she eyes your proud spire, 'Oooh. Exotic. That'll feel wonderful in me. I hope he lasts the full thirty seconds though. He seems a bit..excited. Oh well, I can always try again tomorrow!~'
When you come back to reality, you feel Celestia's muzzle pressing against your balls, inhaling deeply. You look down and see a deep red blush lighting up her face. O-oh. That's. That's nice. That's very nice...NO WAIT, NO! NOT LIKE THIS! You halfheartedly attempt to squirm out of her grip.
“N-no! Bad...Bad horse! Bad!”
Celestia reluctantly pulls her snout out of your business with a slight pout at the scolding.
“I...I'm sorry, Master. It just smells SOOO good! I couldn't help myself. B-but, I'll be a good whorse for you! I promise!”
You open your mouth to say something else, but you're cut off by Celestia slowly standing up with a snort and you watch her wander over to a very large bed. Your eyes are glued to her backside as you notice her tail is flagging high, giving you a full view of her jiggling white ass and her soaked privates and thighs. Hu-uh. You thought horses were supposed to be ugly back there, but that's...That's very nice. Like a teardrop, actually.
Celestia rests her upper body on the bed and spreads her hind legs wide, looking back at you with a pleading expression as she waves her ass back and forth alluringly. Each time she changes directions, her cheeks jiggle wildly.
“Am I a good whorse now, Master? I'm ready to be mounted. Pleeeease~AH-N.”
You see a flash of pink between Celestia's dark white lips at her moan. There's a word for that. What was i—Another flash of pink, and you realize. Winking. That's it. Welp, there go the reservations. Time to fuck this horse silly.
You stand up and slowly walk over to the presenting horse in front of you. You watch her wriggle with excitement as her eyes are glued to your bobbing rod and you feel her tremor as you grab firmly onto her wide hips, the tip of your cock pressing against her lips. Celestia's horn lights up and a warm feeling overtakes your rod as you feel her hold it steady for your entrance.
“Yeeessss. Please, Master. Rut your whorse. Make me your mare~.”
You intend to thrust forward to bury yourself in your horse, but the hot, tight walls of her pussy stop you from sliding in too fast even with her as soaked as she is. Celestia lets out a long, low moan as you plunge into her depths and you hold onto her hips for dear life as your rod is gripped on all sides.
“Mmmph...Didn't expect a horse to be this tight! Loosen up, dammit.”
You bite your lower lip as you are instantly ruined off of women while Celestia's walls massage your cock up and down and groan as you bottom out, your hips meeting her ass with a soft, wet slap. You tighten your grip on her hips as you grit your teeth and pull out as slowly as your entrance. She's already panting loudly, moaning like a total slut and snorting wildly while you begin to get into your rhythm. Why is her snorting so hot?
“MMMM! S-soooo good! I'm glad I'm t-t-igh-AYE-t for you, Master! I just want to make you fe—ee—eeeEEl good!~”
You speed up your thrusts with a low groan, enjoying how vocal your new fuckhorse can be. You eye her jiggling ass appreciatively with each thrust and before long, you feel her pussy begin to go crazy around your cock.
“C-Cuh-CUMMING! I'M CUMMING!”
You feel Celestia's juices splash out onto your crotch and you blink in surprise. Wow, she must've been on a hair trigger. Time to see if you can make her even louder. You speed up even more, your hips slapping loudly and wetly against her ass now as you begin to get into an amazing "fuck me harder" rhythm.
Meanwhile, Celestia squirms lightly as she looks back at you in surprise, moaning and neighing as her sensitive pussy continues to be pounded relentlessly, 'Why-why hasn't he cum yet? Stallions are usually done by now.'
“Mmmm~. Master-r-r-r~. Cum for meee. Please. I need your hot SEE-EED in me!”
You grin at Celestia as she looks back at you with that surprised look on her face and your grin only grows as she begs for you to cum. That's right, horses are sprinters, not marathon runners. You lean forward, putting more leverage into your thrusts.
“Oh no, my pretty little horse. I'm nowhere near done. And if I'm not done...You're not done. You're mine. Got it?”
Celestia gasps as your cock begins to hit a very sensitive spot inside of her as you change angles and her tongue lolls out of her mouth as she nods dumbly, nickering softly with each nod before finally shouting out.
“Y-y-yes!~ YES, YES! MASTER! PLEASE! RUT ME! RUT ME UNTIL I CAN'T WALK STRAIGHT! PLEASE! I'VE BEEN A BAD WHORSE! I ONLY WANT TO BE A GOOD WHORSE FOR YOU, MASTER!”
Jeeze, she's getting loud. Good, that means you're doing it right. You moan with pleasure as her pussy goes crazy on your cock yet again and you smirk as you give her a hard smack right on one of the suns on her cheeks. Celestia's mouth drops open as her voice just seems to stop and she appears locked in a silent scream.
“That's right. You HAVE been bad, you dirty horse. You need to be punished.”
Celestia finds her voice again and moans out her eager agreement, nodding her head rapidly. That's all you needed to know. You bring your hand up again and give her another hard smack on her other cheek, leaving a light red handprint through her fur and causing her to let out a squealing moan. Mmmph. That's all you can think and you want to hear more. You begin to smack her right cheek as you hilt and her left as you pull out, her loud, squealing moans and heavy panting snorts driving you on.
You notice her cheeks and suns turning from white and yellow to just red. More and more with each smack. You bite your lower lip as your will begins to waver and you realize you really..REALLY want to cum sooner rather than later.
Celestia's mind is reeling with pleasurable pain and painful pleasure and she shivers as she senses your pending release.
“M-m-master-r~. My womb is unworthy-ee-eee of your hot seed! Please! Use my tailho-ooooooO! MY TAILHOLE! STICK IT UP MY TAILHOLE!”
Surprised excitement is all you feel. Not the first time you've done anal, no, but definitely the first time you've been begged for it. And who are you to disappoint? You grab ahold of Celestia's hips once more and hiss as you pull out of her wonderful pussy entirely. She sighs softly at the feeling of emptiness, but then begins to neigh excitedly as you press your absolutely soaked cock against her puffy anus firmly. You gasp with elation as you slide in almost immediately, biting your lip as her hot ass squeezes down onto you even tighter than her pussy ever could. Not wasting any time, you grip her tight and thrust into her as fast as her tight walls will allow.
Celestia pants with exhaustion as she feels herself being so forcefully taken and stirs weakly as you finally hilt yourself in her for the last time. You bury your face into her mane as your orgasm hits HARD and feel her shiver as your cum spills into her.
“Mm...Good...Good horse...Very good horse. MY very good horse.”
You pull out slowly, letting the last few spurts of your load splash onto Celestia's abused ass and you step back to admire your handiwork. Two very well-fucked holes, a brilliantly red ass, and your cum slowly leaking from her anus. All in a day's work. You fight back a smile as Celestia's legs shake wildly before finally collapsing underneath her.
“Mmm...By far, the best rut I've ever had. I don't think I'll be able to sit down for a WEEK after tha—...OH...OH NO!“
Her tired eyes shot open with a sudden realization and she attempts to stand with a look of panic.
“I SHOULD'VE BEEN IN DAY COURT BY NOW!”
Your look of confusion was interrupted by the locked door slamming open and a midnight blue horse standing in the doorway. You wince as she immediately kicks into high volume and you cover your ears to block most of it out.
“SISTER! THE CITIZENS ARE WAITING FOR YOU TO HOLD DAY—”
This new horse stops as she takes at the scene before her. A vibrant blush lights up her face as she eyes her sister's position and her blush only grows as she sniffs at the air before she turns towards you and her eyes glue themselves onto your well-used, wet rod.
“Oh...Oh my. I'll...I'll uh...I'll go now. I think I left the moon on fire.”
The flustered horse closes the door behind herself as she briskly exits the room. You shrug and turn to Celestia.
“Soo...Was that horse your sister?”
For the first time, Celestia scowls at you, though the effect is lost as she did it over her abused backside.
“Don't call my sister a whorse! I'm fine with being called one and even then only in the bedroom!”
Your confusion skyrockets, but you just throw your hands up and walk over to Celestia. You pick her up and carry her to the bathroom at her direction. She seems surprisingly light for a horse. Must be magic.
“Shower and explanation. Especially for why you keep saying it like that.”
That evening at the dinner table in Canterlot Castle, you sit there wrapped up in a sheet to preserve your modesty and body heat. A toga, you were quick to correct them.
Your blush is radiant as both PRINCESS Celestia and Princess Luna laugh uproariously. So THAT'S why they were saying it like that. Whorses are PONY hookers and horses are the ponies' extinct ancestors. Great. Glad that got cleared up. Sucks that they can't find you a way back, but oh well, least you got laid.
Celestia wipes away a tear of mirth as she squirms on her inflatable donut and leans over to give you a soft kiss on the cheek.
“I'm sorry, dear, but the look on your face was just priceless. I didn't even realize that you were confused the whole time! But I'm not complaining. We're...Uh...We're going to do it again sometime, right?”
The hopeful look on her face causes you to break into a smile and you nod, feeling only slightly weird as she leans over once again to give a deep kiss on your lips. Horse—Pony lips are kinda awesome. That'll be fun later. Luna takes a bite of her salad before casually remarking.
“You're going to SHARE, right, sister?”
Author's Note
First pure clopfic and first one-shot. A nice little warmup for when I get more serious writing done.
Feel free to point out errors for me to fix in the comments. I know I made a few I haven't caught yet.
Starting on the sequel soon, once Samael's next chapter is done.
