Hypothesis of Collusion

by Noble Cause

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Mrs. Cake, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life, Mr. Cake
Length: 3140

Twilight's hiding something from Pinkie while she's sick. But what is it?

Written for a small inter-author challenge of prompt fics, the prompt given here was 'Pinkie Pie exposes a conspiracy'... it's just not quite the one full of shadowy government agencies to the crown that she thought. Instead, it's something much more personal and close to home.

Published 2012-06-16 07:14:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-16 07:14:03 UTC

In Sickness and In Health

Hypothesis of Collusion

Pinkie came awake much more slowly than usual. Her head pounded, her tongue felt thick when she poked it out of her muzzle, her throat was scratchy. It was then that she knew the terrible, awful truth.

She was sick.

Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. Normally. The Cakes had things well in hoof, even with the babies, but Pinkie had plans. Important ones! She tried finding a way to get out of bed, but even that little bit of movement left her shaky, and took more energy than she expected. She hadn’t been this sick in a long time, and she tried to make her way to her door, only to have it open in front of her and reveal Mrs. Cake with a worried expression on her face.

“Pinkie, dear? are you- oh my! Pinkie, you look terrible! You’re not feeling well are you?” she asked, moving to come in, when she saw Pumpkin and Pound on their mother’s back. Pinkie opened her mouth to tell her to stop from coming in, but all that came out was a harsh rasping sound. Her eyes widened in dismay and she held up a hoof wearily. Mrs. Cake stopped, then getting the idea, she backed up and out the few steps into the hall. “I’ll be right back, Pinkie. I’ll leave the twins with Carrot downstairs. Try to get back in bed, and we’ll see about fixing you up to feel better.”

Pinkie took her advice as Mrs. Cake shut the door, Pumpkin and Pound exchanging a worried look before it closed completely. Pinkie clambered back into bed and lay there on top of the covers, sweating and panting hard. Cup returned with a tray bearing a pitcher of ice water and a cup, as well as wearing a surgical mask as a precaution, and closed the door behind her with a hoof. She set the tray down on a nearby end table and stroked Pinkie’s limp, bedraggled mane comfortingly.

“Now Pinkie, did you wake up feeling this way?” she asked. A nod. “Scratchy throat, fever, aches?” came a second query. Another nod. “Laryngitis on top of it, it seems” she murmured, getting a whimper from Pinkie. “There there, sweetheart, you’ll be okay. After I told Mr. Cake how you were feeling, little Spike overheard us, and he said he’d get Twilight Sparkle to help. Don’t you worry about anything, just focus on getting better. We can run the shop for a week or two, if it comes to that. We did it before you came to live and work for us, we can do it again.”

Pinkie, hearing this, tried to rasp out a complaint, that it would be imposing and unfair to them, but all it did was send her into a coughing fit. Quickly, Mrs. Cake had water poured and offering it to her. Down it went into the parched pink throat, and a second glass was soon the same way. Pinkie flumped back onto the bed, feeling slightly better, but no less upset. She was Ponyville’s Premier Party Planner! If she was down for the count, then who would throw parties for new ponies?!

There was a knock at the door, and a welcome sight greeted her. Her favoritest magician ever! A weak smile managed to make it on her face as Twilight stepped into the room, also wearing a mask, as was Spike on her back, who was carrying a knapsack with a scroll poking out of it. “Hiya Pinks!” the dragon chirped, his smile evident even past his mask. “Twilight’s been planning on a new enchantment. Looks like you and I are test subjects” he said, holding up the sack. Pinkie looked a question at Twilight.

“It’s something of a re-usable scroll that can go to anypony. I already have it enchanted to come back to me, and all you have to do is burn it to activate the enchantment and have it return. After that, it’ll come right back when I burn it, and it’ll blank whichever side isn’t written on. So, if I were to write on the front, burn it, and it pops out here, you’ll be able to write a response on the back, roll it up, burn it, and the side I wrote on will be blank, while I’ll be able to read what you wrote. Think of it as a faster way to send mail” the unicorn explained. Pinkie’s eyebrows went up in surprise, and she looked hopeful. If she had to be cooped up in her room, it’d be nice to have somepony to talk to! Spike put a pencil down next to the scroll, and Twilight came closer. Pinkie knew what she was trying, and held up a hoof morosely to forestall her. A hurt look marred Twilight’s features, before Pinkie raised an eyebrow questioningly, and gestured to herself. The look on Twilight’s face vanished, before she nodded in understanding, and sighed sadly.

Spike looked between the pair and crossed his arms over his chest with a grumble. “How do you two DO that?” he muttered rhetorically. Pinkie smiled at him in understanding, and tapped his shoulder to get his attention. When he looked at her, she moved her hooves to point at first herself, then Twilight, then traced a heart on her chest. Spike blinked, looking confused.

“What Pinkie’s trying to say, is that even when somepony can’t speak, you get a sense of what the intent is. That’s what happens when you love somepony” Twilight said, giving her baker a brilliant smile. Pinkie nodded, as Spike rolled his eyes and snorted.

“Mares... I know everypony has their special somepony, but some things I just don’t think I’ll ever understand about love” he said. Pinkie, ill as she was, let out a rasping giggle, along with Twilight laughing.

“At any rate, try it out, Pinkie. If you want to talk to somepony, I’m doing research all day for a few special things, so I won’t be leaving the library. Dash is visiting to read the latest Daring Do book, again, and so is Rarity. She said something about needing a day off. I need to get back to the library and make sure Rarity hasn’t re-decorated. If you need me, just write and burn, okay my cutie Pie?” she said, grinning. Pinkie blushed visibly despite her fever, and smiled weakly, nodding. She and Spike left, the dragon giving a wave and a thumbs-up as Twilight left the room, closing the door behind her.

Pinkie laid back on the bed. The water seemed to help, so she shakily poured herself another glass and drank it, eyes closing to try to minimize the pulsing they were doing. It helped, a little. The company was appreciated, but she knew she couldn’t bear to get her Twilight sick... she wasn’t quite as funsies when she wasn’t feeling good. She nabbed the scroll then, as well as the pencil. It’d been a few minutes, maybe Twilight was back by then. Pencil into muzzle, and...

Twilight,

Hope this works, can you read this?

Pinkie

She rolled up the scroll, and pulled a candle from the drawer in her end table, lighting it with a bit of flint. A touch of the end of the scroll to the flame, and it disappeared in a puff of purple smoke that tasted faintly of grapes. A couple minutes passed, and there was a puff of pink smoke, the scroll appearing out of thin air. “Neat!” Pinkie mumbled around the scroll after snagging it.

Pinkie,

All good! Glad this works. Rarity sends her best wishes, as does Dash. Speaking of Rainbow, she’s offering to get you anything that might feel better. Any ideas?

Twilight

Pinkie turned the scroll over, taking up the pencil again.

Twi,

Nothing comes to mind, though the company was nice. If Dashie could come over and open my window, that’d be nice to feel the breeze. I don’t think I could make it to my window without falling onto my face. And a smooshed nose does nopony any good.

Pinkie

Poof went the scroll. Six seconds later, there was a tapping sound outside, and Dash was waving at her, then pulled the window open, grinning around her mask. “Hiya Pinks!” she called, flying into the room and waving a hoof, a disoriented look on her face. The smell of unhealthy pony was strong, and Dash hoped that with the window open, it’d clear.

“Dashie... good to see you” Pinkie said, smiling, but feeling a little weary again.

“Happy to be of help. Dang, Pinkie, you really don’t look so hot. When Twi said you were sick, I thought it was just a major head cold. Hope airing out the room does the trick” she said.

“Me too. Thanks, Dashie, and tell Twilight thank you too. The scroll is just the thing I need to keep from going loco in the coco.”

“Will do. Take a nap, Pinkie, you can use all the rest you can get” Rainbow said, then noticed the pitcher, “I can get you some fresh water, if you want.”

“Mmm... nap does sound good. I think the water’s okay for the moment, too. You can go back to reading” Pinkie said, laying back on the bed, her eyes closing.

“Okay. Feel better, Pinks, we’re not the same without you” the pegasus said, leaving the same way she came in. Pinkie blinked a bit. There was something Dashie wasn’t telling her, but her eyes felt so heavy, she couldn’t keep them open. The party pony was out like a light.

Pinkie awoke to a parched throat again, and almost immediately poured a glass of water, gulping it down. “That’s better” she murmured, and she did feel slightly less run-down. Maybe Dash was right, and sleep was what she needed. Her hoof bumped the returned scroll as she replaced the glass on the table, and unrolled it.

Pinkie,

Dash says your window’s open, and that you were looking to take a nap. Hope you did get some sleep. Want to talk, as it were?

Twilight

Pinkie smiled at that, and turned the scroll over.

Twilight,

I did get a nap, yes, and I feel a little better. Maybe it’s just a temporary icky bug? Hope so, I hate being sick. Talking? Just wishing I was downstairs baking, or playing with Pumpkin and Pound, or being around you girls. Applejack and Fluttershy haven’t come around, have they?

Pinkie

The scroll poofed again, and Pinkie laid back after catching the scroll. The breeze really was nice, even if it was later in the day than she expected.

Pinkie,

Good to hear that the snooze did you good. I know the feeling about missing the socialization. Don’t turn into me, for the love of Celestia! Socialization’s good, you all have taught me that. You in particular, to be entirely honest. Without your parties, there’s no way I’d be as relaxed. As for your question, no, they haven’t been around. AJ’s busy working the orchard, or so Apple Bloom says. Fluttershy came by for a book, but she was here and gone in less than twenty seconds. Something about her animals, I suspect. Zecora’s heard you’re sick too. She sends her regards, and says that if it hasn’t cleared up by tomorrow night, she has something that’ll help.

Twilight

Pinkie smiled at that. Zecora’s concern was touching, and she regretted ever thinking badly of her. She thought she should do something to make up for it, though she didn’t quite seem the party type. Maybe a thank you card? She’d have to consider that. Weird that AJ and Fluttershy weren’t around though. Applejack had her work, but usually it was done by then. Odd that those two would be avoiding interaction. Something was wrong, Pinkie just knew it, and she was determined to find out.

Twilight,

Tell Zecora thanks! I’ll keep that in mind, but maybe another nap would do the trick. Weird that Applejack and Flutters haven’t been around. Don’t they usually visit every day? Something wrong? And... thanks, Twilight, for telling me how much you enjoy my parties. You don’t know how much that means to me.

Pinkie

Poof went the scroll, and Pinkie laid back down, intending to puzzle it out. She didn’t even realize how tired she was again.

She awoke again, to the sun setting, casting her room in blazing orange. The scroll, as usual, was on her table. The candle had guttered out, but the flint solved that issue, too. She also noticed that at some point, Mrs. Cake had come in and refreshed the water pitcher, for which she was grateful. After two glasses, she opened the scroll.

Pinkie,

They were just apparently busy with their own things today. Didn’t really hear anything as to why, I’m assuming just random chance. Also, I did tell Zecora for you. She hopes you’ll get better soon. Well, not in so many words, you know her, but you understand what I mean. As for you and your parties... I like telling you that I enjoy them, because I do!

Twilight

Pinkie twirled the pencil with her tongue, then put it to the scroll.

Twilight,

I know you’re hiding something from me about Applejack and Flutters. Please don’t lie to me. What’s going on?

Pinkie

She hated being such a Nosy McNoserson, but if there was one thing Pinkie didn’t like, it was being decieved. She lit the scroll, and waited. It took longer than expected, actually, and she was actually tapping a hoof against her bed, when the scroll returned.

Pinkie,

I’m not lying to you about this. Not exactly. It’s hard to explain, all I can tell you is that it’s not a bad thing, what I’m hiding. It’s just very, very important and special. From the sound of things, you’re feeling better already. If you’re up for it, can you come by tomorrow?

Twilight

P.S., If you’ll be okay for it tomorrow, no need to respond in the morning, just bring the scroll by when you come over. Get some more rest, my little puff pastry.

Pinkie sighed. It wasn’t bad, but it was important and special? now she was going to be awake all night wondering. At least, that’s what she expected would happen. Soon enough, she was out again, just as the moon began to rise.

The Next Day -

There was a wiggle, and a murmur, and Pinkie’s eyes opened, before she remembered last night in a blur, and saw that it was daybreak. She reached for the water, and just drank straight from the pitcher. Mrs. Cake didn’t like it when she did that, but she felt as dry as the Appleoosan desert. She got to her hooves, and felt 1000% better. She took two steps, and revised that to sixty-four percent. Not great, but enough to do what needed to be done. She picked up the scroll, put it in her saddlebags and wiggled into them, then opened her door, smiling wearily at Mr. Cake coming down the hallway, carrying a sleeping Pound.

“Pinkie! How’re you feeling, kiddo?” he whispered, to not disturb his passenger.

“Better, thanks. I need to get to Twilight’s, so I won’t be around today either. I’m sorry to impose again...” she started, speaking just as quietly, but Mr. Cake shook his head.

“Think nothing of it. We’re just fine. Take a day for yourself. You probably need it, after yesterday. Go on, we’ve got things in hoof here” he said, making a shooing motion with a forehoof. Pinkie smiled, and hurried down the stairs, and out the door, after tossing a wave at the surprised Mrs. Cake.

Two minutes, forty-one seconds. That’s how long it took Pinkie to get to the library, and knock.

“It’s open!” Twilight called from inside. Pinkie went in, a serious look on her face.

“Twiliiiiight~ You got some ‘splainin to do!” she singsonged. Twilight giggled behind a hoof.

“I know. Like I said last night, it’s important. We wanted you to be here for this” she said, then her horn lit up, sending out a pulse. Dash and Rarity came down from upstairs, the pegasus looking a little tired, but smiling, though Rarity beat her to the greeting.

“Pinkie, darling! Oh, it’s so good to see you up and about, we must get you to the spa. A good soak will do you wonders” the seamstress said, coming closer.

“Really good to see you, Pinks. You look loads better than yesterday” Dash commented.

“I’m feeling better. Not all better, but better” Pinkie said. Twilight looked past her as there was a knock, and she smiled.

“Applejack, Fluttershy! Glad you two could make it, there’s something big happening” the magician said, and Pinkie turned to look at them as the pair came in.

“What’s all this about, Twi? Something go wrong?” AJ asked.

“Wrong? No... not exactly. Pinkie, do you remember yesterday how I told you that your parties and you mean so much to me?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, what was that all about? It seemed like you had ulterior motives or something!” Pinkie said.

“I did! Or rather... we did” Twilight said, sharing a smile with Rainbow and Rarity, the three of them reaching into their saddlebags and coming out with small velvet boxes. The two earth ponies and pegasus’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Pinkie...” Twilight started.

“AJ...” Dash murmured quietly.

“Fluttershy, my dearest...” Rarity pleaded with every fiber of her being.

“Will you marry me?”

Pinkie thought her heart stopped. Fluttershy’s eyes were wet as she nodded silently. Applejack, tomboy that she was, whooped in delight and lunged for her high-flier. Only Pinkie was frozen in place. Twilight’s expression fell.

“You... you d-don’t want to?” she whispered, on the verge of heartbreak. Pinkie’s head went down... then came back up in the broadest smile she had ever had.

“I WILL! Oh yes, yes, YES! I’ll marry you!” she cried out, rushing forward to hug Twilight tight, sobbing.

Minutes passed, and the happy crying subsided, bar the occassional sniffle. Pinkie looked over at her beloved and smiled wryly.

“So this is what you were hiding from me?” she asked.

“Well... yeah” she admitted sheepishly. “Dash and Rarity came to me, wanting to make it a special thing with all of us, but after I heard you were sick, we held off as long as possible. Sorry to make it seem like a conspiracy. No shadow organizations of milkmen here.”

“Well, darn. There goes all my careful calculations about the Illuminati” Pinkie said. Twilight stared at her. “... Never mind.”

The rest of the day was spent in wedding planning, with Spike’s assistance. The next morning, Twilight awoke, feeling terrible.

“Oh, horseapples” she murmured.