The Visitor

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

Chapter 1

Twilight could feel her thoughts drifting away from her.

Something had gone wrong. Something... something... the tea... her confused gaze drifted over the cup in her grasp back to the face of the pony in front of her.

Anxious... but anticipating... Fluttershy... must have...

Thinking clearly became harder and harder. Gradually, every worry, every bad thought, and every sense of discomfort was being sucked out of her mind like air out of a cracked balloon. Twilight was drifting, floating in a sea of nothing, free from any and all distractions.

Then, a voice entered her world. Soft, beautiful...

...irresistible.

“Twilight? Are you hungry? You look hungry. Would you like a cookie?”

Her mind seemed to bend around this voice, taking it in, relishing in its every syllable. Hungry. She was hungry. She would like to eat something. A cookie sounded delicious.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Uhm. I don’t think you’re hungry, are you?”

Hungry? She was not hungry. “No, not at all.”

“But you want to finish your tea.”

“Of course.” She picked up her cup, emptying it.

“Good.” Fluttershy stood up. Twilight didn’t move, still sitting on the couch, a vague smile on her face.

Peace...

“You’ll do whatever I say.”

“I’ll do whatever you say.”

“You can’t leave the cottage.”

“I can’t leave the cottage.”

“If you see or hear somepony else, you’ll teleport away, hide, and come back two minutes later.”

Twilight nodded.

“That’s a good girl.” Fluttershy walked up to her, gently stroking her chin with a front limb. “So. You, uhm, you really want to cuddle with me right now.”

She really wanted to cuddle with Fluttershy right now.

Twilight’s smile vanished. Her peace was broken. She really wanted to cuddle with Fluttershy, and it made her sad not to... should she ask her?

“So much that you can’t help asking me for it.”

Twilight swallowed. She needed to cuddle... reach... her mouth went dry. She began to sweat. She had to...

“Fluttershy? Can you... can you please c-cuddle with-”

“Beg me.”

Twilight shivered. She found herself sliding off the couch, reaching the floor on shaky hooves. Fluttershy did a step back to give her space. Her life solely revolved around a single goal, and she had to reach it, she had to reach it, she had to reach...

“Fluttershy? P-please come closer so we can c-cuddle? Please! I’ll do anything! Please...”

Fluttershy nodded. With a tilt of her head, she gestured for Twilight to sit onto the couch, then she leaned her upper body into Twilight’s waiting arms. Tightly entwined, Twilight could feel the other pony’s breath on her skin, and could hear the steady beating of her heart. Fluttershy extended a wing around her, and Twilight’s life was complete. She could have spent hours, days, years in this position. It didn’t matter. And her ears were being filled with the pegasus’ content humming...

The body in her grasp shifted. Worriedly, Twilight gave it a glance. She didn’t want her to let go.

“Uhm. Let me go, please?”

In an instant, Twilight opened her arms, allowing Fluttershy to slip out of her embrace, resting with wobbly legs on the wooden floor. Twilight watched her, her lips quivering. She needed to hold her. She had to. But she couldn’t.

“Follow me.”

Twilight slid off the couch, following Fluttershy. She led them upstairs. Twilight’s body began to shiver. She needed to hold the pegasus. The urge was overwhelming. She didn’t know how long she would endure.

When Fluttershy threw a gaze over her shoulder, she halted in her walk.

“Oh. Uhm, you don’t want to snuggle with me that much anymore. You still want me, though. But not so much that it causes you discomfort. And, uhm, I’m sorry if I made you feel bad.”

“It’s no problem.” Twilight smiled, feeling perfectly content once again. But she still wanted Fluttershy. She wanted to hold her, kiss her... and have her...

Fluttershy entered her room, closing the door behind them.

“Lay on my bed and spread your legs.”

Twilight nodded, doing as she was told. Fluttershy watched her, but then she looked away. Twilight said nothing, hoping only that she would come closer. She wanted her.

Seconds crept by.

“Im... i... im... imagine...”

But the words didn’t seem to come. For a few moments, she just stood there, facing away from Twilight, until Twilight could hear her breathing quickening. It went faster, and even faster, and then she began to reel, aiming for balance by bringing a front limb to the door. Slowly, she collapsed against it, hyperventilating. Twilight watched her, but didn’t move an inch. No thought, no worry entered her mind, just a vague desire and a distant hope. Fluttershy could have turned into an alicorn at the spot and it wouldn’t have made a difference to her.

Time passed, and it was meaningless. Gradually, Fluttershy’s breathing calmed down, her gaze set onto the ground.

“Imagine...” she began once more, but she couldn’t get passed the word. “You...”

There was a sigh, there was a sob, and there were tears. Then, there was a single, long breath.

Fluttershy faced away from her, her body a heap on the floor.

“Get up from the bed,” she said. “You don’t feel anything out of the ordinary anymore. Go to Zecora in the Everfree Forest, and ask her for a cure to a potion called ‘The Parasite.’ If you are attacked on the way, don’t continue, just get away, teleport someplace safe. Go. G-go...” Another sob. “Close... close the door behind you.”

Half an hour later, Fluttershy still lay at the same spot on the floor, as if time had been frozen in this room. Twilight looked down at her, not having the slightest idea of how she was supposed to feel.

“You wanted to rape me.”

The sentence hung in the air, but there was no response.

“You did, didn’t you?”

A movement went through the pegasus body, and slowly, Fluttershy’s head emerged, facing Twilight. Her face was mangled, her eyes swollen, and only now did Twilight see the wetness around the spot where her head had rested on the floor.

“Yes.”

Twilight bit on her lip beyond the point of bleeding. She felt the urge to gnash her teeth, to smash something, and to inflict pain onto the body in front of her. She resisted it all, taking two, three deep breaths, then turned away.

“Come down with me. I’ll make us something to drink. But not tea, I’ve had enough of that. Or you know what? No. I’ll make tea. Strong, black tea. So come down. But first wash your face.”

Without awaiting an answer, Twilight descended the stairs, heading for the kitchen. The time she needed was used to get a hold of her overboiling emotions, and she spent half a minute scouring through Fluttershy’s stock of tea before realizing that she had already grabbed the tin in question right at the start. Among her anger, her enormous disappointment, sadness, and fear, there was also another emotion that grew stronger the longer she thought about it. It was relief. Overwhelming, mind-numbing relief that she had so narrowly escaped what had been about to happen. But it was drowned by the desire to preserve her anger.

When she entered the living room, Fluttershy sat there, at the same stool she had used when it had all happened. Twilight looked at it for a moment, then she shook her head.

“Move. I’ll take the stool. You sit on the couch.”

Fluttershy did as she was told, without a sound of protest. Twilight put the kettle and two cups onto the table, the articles jittering a bit in her grasp. If only it was done brewing already. A lot of sleepless nights and a several year long reliance on the substance had developed in her something that came close to a mild addiction. Never had she felt like she needed it as much as she did now.

“What am I supposed to do now, Fluttershy?” she blurted out, her thoughts unconnected. “Should I contact Canterlot? The princess? Should I tell everypony in town, or should I keep it a secret? Should I tell the girls?” But before Fluttershy had a chance to answer, another question suddenly entered her mind. “What was your plan there? What did you think was going to happen after you went through with it? What would happen after you were done?”

At the lack of a response, Twilight felt her anger hit a sudden peak. Fluttershy had no right to be absorbed in sadness, self-hatred, or whatever it was.

“Answer me, Fluttershy!”

“I... I was going to erase your memory...”

At that, there was a coldness reaching out to her heart, taking it in its grasp, squeezing it. To delay the question, she summoned her magic, pouring herself a cup, spilling enough to form a small puddle on the table. Then...

“Have you done it to me before?”

“No.”

The coldness lessened, but she was not convinced.

“Tell me the truth.”

“I haven’t! I swear it. I couldn’t. You saw that I couldn’t.”

Twilight let out a breath, relief washing over her once more. She felt as though she had narrowly escaped... again.

She took a gulp, closing her eyes at the taste, even though the water was still too hot to drink and burned her mouth from the inside.

The anger seemed to leave her, and she didn’t have the willpower to stay strong anymore. Her upper body dropped onto the table, her head buried between her hooves, and for the moment, she allowed herself to give into sadness.

“Oh Fluttershy... why, just why? Do you have any idea what you have done? You should know that, but are you anything like I thought you were? Do I know you at all?”

There was no response. Twilight pulled herself together, raising her head.

“Do you have an excuse? Anything that messed with your head? Some kind of drug?”

Fluttershy sobbed, her eyes still swollen. She shook her head.

“Then it’s really you.” Twilight drank the rest of her cup, not hesitating to refill it. “Do you know what this would mean if it were made public? The element of kindness, doing... this?”

Fluttershy murmured something, too muffled, and too quiet for Twilight to understand.

“What was that?”

“I said I didn’t ask for the element.”

“You...” It was not the response she had expected. She blinked.

“I guess you didn’t.” For what little it was worth. “Okay. We both know I won’t make it public. That wouldn’t help anyone. Forget the element. You still did it. To a friend.” Her voice got cold. “To me.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Twilight’s first instinct was to scold the apology, but she thought different of it. No matter what Fluttershy had done, she still had to give her a chance. If not, then there was no point in talking to her in the first place.

“Well,” she said in a quiet voice. “I guess that’s something.” She stared into her cup, only to find it empty. “I don’t know if we’ll ever be friends again. And I can’t talk about it right now. I just need to know what...”

“To do with me?”

“Yes.” The insides of her mouth still burned from the heat, and her lip still hurt from her own bite. She drove over it with her tongue, smelling blood.

“Not that I trust your word anymore, but do you think I can leave you without supervision?”

“I... I won’t run away... or do anything... l-like that...”

“Alright then.”

“Will you... t-tell the other girls?”

Twilight looked at her, at the face of the mare that had disappointed her more than anypony before. For whatever it was worth, she had never seen her as unhappy as she was now.

“Yes.”

Fluttershy gulped, but didn’t protest.

“I trust you not to do it again, at least for now, but I can’t have them contact you without knowing.” She stood up. She didn’t want to look at Fluttershy anymore. She needed time to think. Alone.

She was about to teleport, but then paused. The anger had come back; the urge she had felt earlier, further fueled by the pain she had inflicted upon herself, it demanded release. Twilight’s eyes flickered around the place. The birdhouse was no good. The last thing she wanted to do was to hurt an animal. Then her gaze fell onto the table.

Pressing her lips together, she began to channel her magic. It felt good, really good, to put all of her effort into this simple task, summing as much strength as she could, her horn glowing in a dark, purple hue.

Fluttershy shrieked as the table was smashed into pieces, the articles on it shattering as they fell onto the floor. The exception was the second cup, which had disappeared in a flash along with Twilight.

Chapter 2

“Hey there!”

Twilight’s head spun around at the sound of the muffled voice coming out of an impossible direction. As she registered the sight behind the window, her heart made an unpleasant leap, and in record speed she had opened it, enveloping the pink body in a purple cloud, pulling her inside.

“Pinkie!” Her heart still hammering against her chest, she carefully shut the window, turning towards her guest. “What. In Celestia’s name. Are you doing here?”

“Hi to you too!” The pink pony’s head turned around to examine the sight of the room as her body bounced up and down, as if she had never laid eyes on the library before. “My Pinkie sense told me that one of my friends wanted to talk to me but was afraid to do so, and at first I thought it was Fluttershy, but then she-”

“What?” This was almost more than she could take. “But how did you... no, never mind that. Did you talk to Fluttershy?”

“I did, and she told me to come to you!”

Breathing out in relief, Twilight attempted to calm herself. At least that problem-

“Hey, do you like phoenixes?”

“What?” How did she... “Why?”

“Well, you’re reading about them, duh.”

Twilight’s eyes flickered towards the side of her desk. “But... you... you can’t see that!” Confusedly, she gestured towards the book in question. “You aren’t supposed to see that! I hid it!”

“You mean that purple bubble?” Pinkie giggled. “Silly Twilight. It’s transparent. I can see through it. You know how you can see through glass and-”

“Yes!” Twilight interrupted her. “Yes, I know what transparent means. Listen-”

“What does a phoenix say in a bar?”

“I must- ... err, what?”

“Phoenixes don’t go to bars, silly. Hehehe...”

“Gnnnhhh...” Twilight rubbed her brow with her magic, sighing. “Pinkie, please. I need to tell you something!”

“I’m all ears! Well, I’m not all ears, but you know what I-”

“Something bad.”

Pinkie did three more bounces, each one lessening in height, until she came to a gentle halt. Something about Twilight’s tone must have given away the severity of the moment, as for the first time since she knew her, she seemed to have captured all of the pink pony’s attention.

“Areyoumovingawaypleasedonttellmeyouremovingawayareyou?”

“What?” Twilight blinked. “No, I’m not moving.”

“Oh. Okay then...” For a short moment, it seemed as if Pinkie was heading into the next bounce, until it died halfway through. “Uuuuhm.” She blushed. “There’s still bad news, isn’t there? What is it?”

Twilight shut her eyes, pressing her lids together. She hated to say this. But delaying it was no good.

“Fluttershy... did something,” she murmured, gulping. “Or, tried to do something. To me. Something bad.”

“Oh...”

“She tried to rape me.”

As Twilight re-opened her eyes, Pinkie still stood there with an unchanged expression. It took her one, two seconds to put the pieces in place.

“You don’t know what that word means, do you?”

Pinkie shook her head.

“Right. Why would you? She... tried to force me to have sex with her. She gave me a potion that brought me under her control.”

Silence spread, until what Twilight had been wondering about began to happen. Before her eyes, Pinkie’s mane fell began to fall in on itself, until it hang down on both sides of her head. Even now, despite the seriousness of the matter, Twilight couldn’t help to feel a certain sense of fascination at the sight.

“But... why?”

“I don’t know yet. But I’ll figure it out.” Twilight gulped. “Please don’t cry.”

Pinkie nodded. “I... I don’t understand. She’s always been so-”

“Nice.”

A sob came over the pink pony’s lips, but she didn’t begin to cry... not yet, anyway.

“Yes.”

“I know.” Twilight shook her head. “I have no idea what has gotten into her. Do you?”

Pinkie gave a laugh at that, but not of her usual, over-the-top-happy kind. This one was short, almost sad. “I never know what other ponies think, Twilight.”

“Right.” Of course not. “I’ll... I'll figure it out. And then I’ll tell you. We’ll get over this.”

Pinkie nodded again. “I think I need to be alone for a while,” she murmured. “And... I think I’ll take the door this time.”

Twilight nodded, walking her downstairs. At least it was over. She had already told Spike, and that hadn’t been pretty, but telling it to the other girls, who were actually friends with the pegasus, that was worse.

“Just one more thing,” Twilight said as she opened the door for Pinkie to leave. “Please don’t meet her alone.”

Pinkie nodded. “Goodbye, Twilight.”

“Bye.” Twilight pushed the door shut, giving a long sigh. One down, three to go.

“Yer pullin’ a prank on me.”

“No!” Twilight gave an exasperated sigh. “Look, I’m sorry, but she did.”

“Fluttershy.”

“Yeah.”

“Yer sayin’ that shy feather of a pegasus... nah, come on now, Twi. That ain’t true.”

“Look.” Twilight made a pause, giving her words as much sincerity as possible. “Fluttershy. Did that to me. Yesterday. It’s not a prank, it’s the truth.”

“I just dun believe that.” Applejack threw a nervous gaze at the apple-selling stand Twilight had pulled her from. Already, there was a stallion giving the unoccupied carts a confused glance, but he made no attempts to serve himself. “With her bein’ the element of kindness n’all that. What yer sayin’ is somethin’ only a a real nasty-like pony would do. That ain’t Fluttershy.”

“I know.” Twilight gave her friend an unhappy look. “But she did do it.”

Applejack spent a few more moments eyeing her stand before she shook her head, sighing.

“Just look at me. Yer the real victim, not me, and here I am, doubtin’ ya for no good reason. Are you feelin’ alright, Twilight?”

“I’m okay. I gotta talk it out with Fluttershy, but I’m not ready yet.”

“Nopony will blame ya for that.” Applejack threw yet another nervous look at her stand. “Listen, I gotta get back...”

“Sure. Yeah.” Twilight nodded. “Just... be careful with her for the time being.”

“Oh, I’ll be mighty careful, alright. Until this whole mess is settled, I ain’t even gonna go near that pony.”

Twilight nodded again, adding nothing. With a tip of her hat, Applejack made for her stand.

Two more.

“It’s open!” Rarity’s voice came drifting out of the shop. Twilight lowered her head, unhappily chewing on her lip as she entered the boutique. It was unmistakable from her voice that the fashionista was in a good mood, perhaps now was not the best time... but she wanted to get it done. And it would not be fair to leave her friends in the dark for longer than necessary.

Rarity was alone, standing in front of a chalkboard, a pen floating in a white aura beside her. A final stroke was added before she turned around, her face lighting up even more at the sight of her visitor.

“Twilight! To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?” She did a double-take, noticing Twilight’s unhappy features. “Is everything alright, dear?”

“No.” There was no point in dragging this out any longer than necessary. “Something... pretty awful has happened, and I think you should know. I’ve already told AJ and Pinkie.”

Rarity took a step away from the chalkboard, while simultaneously grasping it in her magic and turning it around, so that all they could see was its backside.

“Yes?”

“I’m not pranking you,” Twilight began, not wanting to repeat another AJ. “I was at Fluttershy’s yesterday. She said I should come over as soon as I could, and that it was urgent, but she wouldn’t tell me why. When I was there, she offered me a cup of tea, and... there was a potion in it that would basically turn me into a slave for a while, making me do anything she said. She wanted to use it to...” The word didn’t want to come over her lips. “... make me have sex with her,” she murmured. “She changed her mind at the last moment, and sent me to Zecora for a cure.”

When she finished talking, Rarity just stood there, saying nothing. Time passed, and a small sob came over her lips. Still not saying a word, she took a step closer, leaned her head against Twilight’s shoulder, and began to cry silent tears. Her carefully stylized mane was being shoved against Twilight’s muzzle, who was at a loss of how to react.

The doorbell rang. Twilight’s head spun around, revealing a stallion she’d never seen before standing in the entrance. Their gazes met, and Twilight shook her head just slightly. With a nervous smile, the stallion turned around, disappearing behind the door. Lighting her horn, Twilight reached out for the wooden sign hanging outside the building, flipping it around.

If Rarity had noticed any of this, then she showed no reaction. It was an intimate moment, and although Twilight was merely the messenger, she couldn’t help feeling guilty for the news she had brought. A shiver ran down her spine as she could feel the tears dripping into her fur.

“I never thought she would be capable of that,” Rarity said as she pulled back, drying her eyes with her magic. “Fluttershy... has always had a special place in my heart. And now...” She left the sentence unfinished.

“Did you... has she ever...”

“Nothing she’s ever done would have given a hint.” Rarity’s magic left her own eyes, reaching over to Twilight to clean the traces of her tears from her neck. “Are you alright, Twilight? She’s done it to you, after all, not me.”

“I’m okay. I’m just glad she hasn’t gone through with it.”

“Have you told anypony? The princess? The mare? Her parents?”

“Just the other girls, so far.”

Rarity nodded. “It would be my wish that you keep it that way. We shan’t... ruin her life because of it. Not if she has decided against it... and left you your memory, which she could have erased, I would assume?”

“Yeah.” The request was unexpected, but if Rarity was willing to stay loyal to Fluttershy despite what she had done, then so would she. “Alright. I won’t tell anypony else.”

“Thank you.” Rarity took a deep breath. A closet was opened, and a white tissue came floating towards her. Rarity unfolded it slowly, cleaning her eyes and muzzle. “It might be too much to ask,” she said in a quiet voice, “but can you also do me a second favor?”

Twilight shrugged helplessly. “What is it?”

“I want to visit her. But after what happened, I would not feel safe going on my own. Could you...”

“I...” Twilight licked her lips, thinking. Could she? She didn’t really want to go to her again. She did want to to help Rarity, but...

It was not a pleasant prospect, but she didn’t want Rarity to go alone, and neither did she want her not to go if that was what she wished.

“Okay.”

“Thank you...” Rarity sighed, reaching for her mane with her magic, sensing for how much damage had been done. “You’re a wonderful friend, Twilight.”

In an effort to give her the privacy she wanted, Twilight had decided not to show herself during the visit. Hiding behind a cloak of magic, she watched as Fluttershy opened the door, spotting the fashionista on the spot. Even though Rarity said nothing, her expression alone seemed to be all that Fluttershy needed to read the situation.

“Come in,” she murmured, turning back as if she couldn’t endure her gaze. She shut the door behind her, too quickly for Twilight to sneak in.

But there was another way. Licking her lips, she went through a series of complex patterns, erupting a few sparks from the tip of her horn. Short-range teleportation was fairly easy. Suppressing the sound it made was not.

With a puff too quiet for anypony to hear, she reappeared inside the building, only to find herself in front of the very same table she’d smashed on the day before. It had broken in two parts, with a few splinters and a small layer of white dust spread over the floor. Raising an eyebrow, she carefully stepped over it, making for the stairs. Just like she had expected, she found both Fluttershy and her friend in the pegasus’ sleeping room, sitting next to each other on the bed.

“... an excuse,” she heard Fluttershy’s quiet voice. “If you thought I could tell you anything to make it better... I’m sorry.”

“I see.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I forgive you, darling.” Twilight could see her brushing over Fluttershy’s mane, and suddenly she felt guilty. It wasn’t right that she was spying on this scene, it was too intimate.

What had she been thinking? Sneaking into her home with no invitation, cloaking herself?

And was it really necessary? Looking at Fluttershy now, it seemed ridiculous.

Twilight bit her lip, feeling regret dwell up inside her. Fluttershy sniffed, and it sent a chill down her spine. Maybe she should leave...

Rarity threw a nervous gaze around the room, and Twilight could only guess that she was thinking the same thing. Well, if she wanted to bring it up, then it’d be better to come clean and stay. It had been her idea, after all.

“Fluttershy, I...” Rarity bit her lip, looking almost as if she was expecting help from Twilight, who felt increasingly uncomfortable at the sight. “I have to make a... confession, of sorts.”

“Huh?”

“You should come out, if you’re here.”

Twilight winced, but did as she was told. With a single spark, the magic around her dissolved, unveiling her sight.

“Uh... hi,” she said nervously.

Fluttershy took a sharp breath at the revelation, but she didn’t shriek or jerk back. Her eyes darted between the two unicorns, and her lips parted.

“You...” She swallowed. Visibly nervous, Rarity drew back her hoof. “You... you... y-you...” Her body tensed, her voice barely audible. “You are af... afraid of me...”

Fluttershy looked at Rarity for one, two seconds, then she faced away, burying her head in the blanket. “You’re afraid of me...”

Twilight and Rarity exchanged an uncomfortable look, but neither of them dared to say anything. After ten, fifteen seconds of Fluttershy keeping her face hidden, Rarity stood up as quietly as she could, and Twilight led the way downstairs.

Guilty or not, what had happened wasn’t enough for her to feel sympathy for the broken pegasus. A part of her felt anger, even. Why was it her right to be upset that Rarity was now afraid of her? It was her fault.

“Well.” Rarity’s voice was reserved, her eyes avoiding Twilight’s gaze. “That went horribly.”

“You were right not to go alone, Rarity. Don’t blame yourself.”

“I suppose...” Rarity sighed. “But I did not mean... I wanted to be the one friend who was with her during all this...”

“I’m not sure if she deserves that.”

“Yes, well.” Rarity gave an unhappy shrug. “Neither am I.”

Twilight shook her head vigorously, trying to get all of the nagging thoughts out of it.

“Anyway. I’ll be heading home. Do you want me to teleport you?”

“... no, I think a quiet walk is just what I need. And... Twilight... thank you. I know this can’t have been easy for you, and it means a lot to me.”

Twilight nodded. “I’ll keep you up to date if something else happens.”

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself, darling,” Rarity said, right before Twilight disappeared in a flash.

Chapter 3

“She did not.”

It was a day later. Twilight had acted early enough to catch Rainbow at her home, before she got out of bed. After a short back and forth and a rather indignant descent, the pegasus now stood before her, her whole body tense and her eyes glaring daggers into Twilight’s, who endured them without backing away.

She didn’t give a response; there was no need to. This was not genuine disbelief, like it had been with Applejack.

Rainbow was in denial.

“She did not,” the athlete repeated, but this time it sounded weak in Twilight’s ears.

“I’m sorry.”

“No!” Furious, Rainbow slashed out with her tail, hitting an invisible target behind her. “No! That... that bitch! After all this time! With how she’s always...” She interrupted herself, gasping for breath. “I can’t believe it. I... I...”

Moving so fast that Twilight inevitably jerked back, she sped over to her, closing in the distance. “Has she hurt you? Are you okay? Has she done it before?”

“No, yes, no,” Twilight uttered, taking a step back to find safe ground. “I’m fine, Rainbow. But thanks for worrying about me, I appre-”

“I can’t believe it!” Rainbow gave no sign of having registered Twilight’s response. “That little, filthy, lying, manipulative-”

“Calm down. You’re right to be upset, but-”

“CALM?” At once, Rainbow was in her face again. “I’M SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN AFTER SHE’S TRIED TO RAPE YOU?” She spat at the ground. “Forget it, Twi. I’m gonna go there right now and to give that girl a piece of my mind.” In a blur, she sped off, only to turn around momentarily, coming back to a landing in front of Twilight. “Tell me again. Tell me again that this isn’t a prank. ‘Cause if it is-”

“It’s not a prank. But Rainbow, you really should...” She sighed, watching the blue figure disappear in the distance.

This wasn’t good. She had expected Rainbow to be angry, but not that angry. She licked over her lips, thinking quickly. None of her friends had reacted in the way she had expected, except maybe Pinkie Pie. And visiting Fluttershy now...

Last time, she had come with Rarity, and that hadn’t turned out to be a good idea. But this was different. Having made her decision, Twilight called upon her magic, taking her from under Rainbow’s home back to the library.

And now...

“Open the door, Fluttershy, or Celestia help me I’ll break in.”

There were hasty shuffles to be heard from the other side, and soon after, the door was pulled open by a visibly frightened Fluttershy.

“YOU!” Fluttershy trembled backwards under the assault of an uncomfortably athletic body, and a blue hoof hitting her breast. “You. Raped. Twilight. Almost.” Reaching the end of the room, Fluttershy seemed to shrink into the floor to get further distance between them... all the while, the door remained wide open. “Why?”

“I-”

“Don’t answer,” Rainbow cut her off, snorting. “You. Twilight. You. Don’t you. Have any idea. How much you owe that pony?”

This part came as a surprise to Twilight, who was observing the scene quietly, holding off for now. What Rainbow had said, for her, it didn’t come without a certain sense of pride.

“I... I’m sorry...”

“Hah! I bet you are.” Rainbow’s wings twitched. “I can’t believe you did this, Fluttershy. The only thing that keeps me from hitting you is that at least you haven’t gone through with it.” She shook her head, showing no sense of empathy for her oldest friend. “And that you haven’t done it before.”

There was something wrong with how Fluttershy reacted to this. Rather than nodding frantically, or staying covered to endure the onslaught, she opted to stand up, and her gaze met the eyes of her oldest friend for one, two seconds, before she looked back onto the ground, biting her lip.

“And that you haven’t done it before,” Rainbow repeated. “Twilight told me that you haven’t.”

“I didn’t tell her that.”

Twilight’s body went cold. She knew what this meant. She knew it.

Celestia help her...

All she wanted was to be in the past, the past of ten seconds ago, when she had thought that the crime committed was so much smaller than it actually was. Or, better yet, in the past of two days ago, when they had all been fine.

When the world had still been fine.

Her gaze drifted back to Rainbow, who had yet to connect the dots.

“I just... I only said that... I haven’t done it to... T-Twilight before.”

She could feel anger inside of her, stronger than yesterday, perhaps stronger than anything she’d felt before. She had to bend herself, use her entire force of will not to break cover.

“You’ve done it before.” Rainbow’s voice was calm, but it couldn’t have been more obvious that it was a façade.

“One... o-once.”

“Whom? Whom did you do it to?”

Fluttershy did not answer. Her eyes darted left and right, and Twilight thought to almost hear her heart beating.

“No.”

Rainbow’s eyes seemed to dwell out of her skull as she understood.

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” Her body rocketed forward, and Fluttershy preemptively brought up a wing to shield herself from the anticipated strike...

... but it didn’t come. Even though it were only two steps, Rainbow couldn’t make it, as the lower half of her body was caught in a purple prism.

“Morning, Fluttershy.” Along with herself, the items she had kept hidden became visible as she broke the spell. “I bought you a new kettle,” she said calmly. “And a new cup. And I brought you the one I took with me. And money for a new table.” One by one, the articles in question were being put on the floor between them, the kettle, the cups, and a small bag of bits.

“Rainbow Dash...” Twilight turned to the imprisoned pegasus, glad that the surprise of her sudden appearance seemed to have sucked some of the anger out of her for the time being. “... go home. You’ve lost your temper.”

“Did you hear what that bitch-”

“Yes,” Twilight cut her off, “I heard her.” Her eyes narrowed. “And you have still lost control. Go home.”

“I won’t!”

“Do a flight or something. Kick some clouds. Get some of the anger out. It’s justified, but you still need to cool down before you can come back.” Without awaiting a response, Twilight lit her horn, and in an amount of time that drastically undersold the difficulty and required energy of the task, she pulled Rainbow’s body through the magical plane, making her reappear somewhere halfway to her home.

Fluttershy had watched the exchange with big eyes, her shivering body still pressed against the wall.

“And you!” Twilight spun around, glaring at the miserable sight of her former friend, calling the anger she had just suppressed so successfully back to the surface. “What did you think you were doing? Do you have a death wish?”

And then it struck her. All of her anger disappeared, and a looming sense of threat took over.

“... do you?”

“I...” Fluttershy stammered, her voice low. “I... I-I... no. I just thought... whatever she does with me... that’s what I deserve. I thought... if she beaten me... however much... maybe we’d be bit more even...”

“You wanted to redeem yourself. Is that it?”

Fluttershy nodded. Twilight drove a hoof through her mane, likely ruining it.

“Celestia have mercy, Fluttershy.” Utterly spent, she dropped herself onto the floor, hanging her head, feeling that she too was on the verge of tears. “You... you can’t do that. What if she had killed you? What would it mean for her? For all of us?”

“I know. I’m sorry. I... I didn’t think she would...”

“Great.” Twilight wanted to laugh, but it came out more as a sob. “Really. Great. Well. Well... you are probably right. I don’t think she would have done it. But still. You can’t do this.”

“I know.”

The question that had yet to be answered built itself up inside her, until she could no longer keep it out.

“Why? Why, Fluttershy? Why? Why? Just why?”

“Because...” Fluttershy loosened herself from the wall, sitting down in front of Twilight, tilting her head so that her mane hid her face. “I’m... I’m... I’m so alone...”

Utterly frustrated, Twilight hit onto the ground with a front limb, evoking a clattering sound from the two cups.

“I get that! But... weren’t you alone your whole life? What about Cloudsdale? And Ponyville before I came here? Hasn’t it been worse than it is now all this time? And now you did it? After you got friends? How can you expect me to understand, Fluttershy, when you just got something, and your only reason was that you wanted more?”

“Because you made it worse!”

Those words made her pause.

“How... how so?”

“Because... because you were teasing me. I’ve... I’ve always had this dark side in me, Twilight. And I always knew it. For eighteen years! And then you came, and we got closer, but you never went all the way. You were just teasing me, and then you never delivered. Sure you were giving me friendship, but I already have friends! Look around you! I can talk to those animals, you know? I can talk to them, and they understand me. Sure none of them is nearly as intelligent as a pony, and it was nice to meet others that are, but it was not what I really wanted! It wasn’t what was missing. I wanted closeness, and...”

“Sex?”

Fluttershy bit her lip, staring onto the ground.

“Don’t lie to me, Fluttershy. That’s what this is about, isn’t it? You got friends, but what you really wanted was sex.”

“Not only,” Fluttershy said in a murmur, and with a deflated sigh. “But yes.”

Only after the words had come over her lips did Twilight realize that she was screaming.

“BUT WHY DIDN’T YOU ASK?”

Fluttershy’s reaction was to begin crying. For over twenty seconds, Twilight just sat there, watching the pegasus drop silent tears onto the floor.

“I know I was wrong,” she said eventually. “I know that. That’s why I didn’t... didn’t try to explain to you. I don’t have an excuse.”

“But why?”

“Because... because I was afraid to ask one of you out. What... what if you said no? And... you would almost certainly have said no. I... I was afraid to...”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t have to ask me out.”

“I... what?”

Twilight groaned, standing back up. “Fluttershy. Let me tell you something about sex, since you seem to know nothing about it. Sex is not love. Sex is not reserved between two lovers. Sex is just sex. It’s fun. And it’s great. If you are in love, then I guess it can be an extension of that love. I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been in love. But you do not need to have love in order to have sex. As you know.” She snorted. “You were going to rape me, Fluttershy. Were you in love with me? Or with Rainbow, for that matter? And you had no problem having sex with us anyway, did you?”

Fluttershy stared at her, for the first time more dumbstruck than ashamed.

“About a month ago, I asked Rarity if she wanted to have sex with me. I didn’t ask her out, I just asked her for sex because I think she’s hot. She said no, and that was it! It did not ruin our friendship! It was a bit awkward for maybe a day, and then we were over it! Now we’re as close as ever.”

She took a step forward, staring down at the pegasus.

“Sex,” she said, “is fun. And it is not that big of a deal.”

Fluttershy looked up at her, her eyes a disbelieving stare.

“D-does that mean...”

“If you wanted to have sex with me,” said Twilight, “all you needed to do was ask.”

Fluttershy’s gaze dropped to the floor. She said nothing. She wasn’t crying anymore, either.

“... but you didn’t know. And I guess that’s not your fault.”

Twilight shook her head. “Celestia once told me that understanding leads to sympathy. I guess that’s always true, even with something as terrible as this.”

For a while, neither of them said anything, until Twilight spoke up again.

“Fluttershy... if you were in my position. If I had almost done to you what you almost did to me... or, let’s say, something that would be as bad for you as what you did would have been to me. What would you do?”

“I...”

“I want the truth. Not what you think I want to hear. Tell me the truth.”

A whole minute passed by, while Twilight waited patiently.

“I would forgive you.”

Twilight nodded. “I believe that.”

“But it wouldn’t be the same. I... I have almost no friends. I wouldn’t... wouldn’t care what you were going to do to me, not as long as you didn’t go through with it. And... and I wouldn’t want to lose you.”

“I thought you didn’t need friends?”

Fluttershy bit her lip. “I... thought so too.”

Twilight sighed, and she knew that she had made her decision. “You know what...” She walked over to Fluttershy, offering her a hoof. “Fuck it.”

Nervously, Fluttershy took it, and Twilight helped her up.

“I forgive you.”

Fluttershy closed her eyes, exhaling long and hard.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“And I don’t want to lose you, either. Come here.”

She took the pegasus into a hug, and she knew that she had made the right choice.

“We’ll stay friends now, you hear?”

“I’ll... I’ll do my best.”

Twilight pushed her away at hoof length to look into her eyes.

“And you won’t do it ever again. To no-one.”

Fluttershy hesitated. Disbelievingly, Twilight stared at her.

“Really?”

“Eeep!” Fluttershy seemed to feel her anger, and it made her jerk backwards, defensively crouching down onto the floor. “You wanted the truth, didn’t you? I... of course I could say yes, but... I... I need to think about it. I told you I have this darkness in me, didn’t I? You think I don’t want it to be gone? Right now, I can’t imagine I’ll do it again, but-”

“You’re right,” Twilight interrupted her. “You’re right. You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s brave of you not to lie. That’s all I can ask for.”

Fluttershy nodded slowly, getting back onto her hooves. “Uhm.” She bit her lip. More time crept by. Then...

“I promise.”

“How?”

“It’s... it’s not like it comes over me at once. It builds up over time. And... and if I feel it, I’ll just... tell you.”

Twilight smiled. “That’s what I want to hear.”

“R-really?”

“Yeah. That’s what friends are for, aren’t they? To prevent their friends from committing rape. Friendship 1-0-1.”

Fluttershy giggled, and before long, Twilight joined her. It was the best thing that could have happened: the laughter broke the tension away, and suddenly, it all seemed to be back like it had always been. Who cared if Fluttershy had once – or one and a half times – done something terrible? She was still Fluttershy. Twilight had been pre-destined to forgive her all along, she knew that now. It had just been a question of when... and she was glad that it hadn’t taken her longer.

“I’ll talk to the others,” she now said. “They’ll come around.”

“Even Rainbow Dash?”

“Even Rainbow Dash. She’s angry, and she has a right to be, but she won’t give up on you. I know she won’t.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Twilight smiled, and suddenly, an idea came into her mind. She almost dismissed it immediately, but something made her hesitate.

Because, after all... why not?

“Fluttershy? Would you like to go somewhere with me?”

“Hm? Where?”

“Do you like swimming?”

“I... uhm. I’m not very good at it.”

“Neither am I.”

“Uhm... okay.”

“You don’t have to.”

“No, I’d like to.”

“Okay then. Take my hoof.”

Fluttershy hesitated. For a moment, she looked as though she was about to change her mind, but then she nodded, offering her left hoof. With a smile, Twilight took it, giving it a squeeze.

“I’ve been studying teleportation magic a lot lately,” she murmured. “Give me a few seconds...”

She channeled her magic, and in a flash, they disappeared.

“Where are we?”

Fluttershy looked around nervously. Twilight knew that it was a place she had most likely never been to before, on the other side of the Everfree forest.

“You’re scared.”

“I... what?”

Twilight gave a shifty smile. “You’re scared that I wanted to take you out here to do something horrible to you. Murder you and hide your body where no-one would find it, or something like that. Come on, admit it.”

“... ... ... will you?”

Twilight giggled. “No. I just had to make a stop here. The beach I want to get to is too far away to do it in one step.”

“Oh. Oh... good.”

With a flash and a second giggle they were gone, reappearing at a small beach with nopony there except for them. To their right was a large cliff, and to their left an expanse of sand stretching on beyond their vision.

“This is beautiful. How did you find this?”

“I’ve been traveling around at night, lately. I’ve been to all sorts of places.”

“How cold is it?”

“It’s tolerable. Come on.”

She made her first steps into the water, and after a few seconds, Fluttershy followed her. For a while, they swam together, and they even played around a bit, splashing water at each other. It quickly became clear that things were not quite back to normal... not yet. But even so, Twilight had fun, and it was as much of a first step as any.

When they were finished, sitting down at the beach together, Twilight noticed her friend growing increasingly nervous. She couldn’t hold it against her.

“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, Fluttershy. I didn’t have any hidden ideas when I brought you here.”

Fluttershy nodded, hugging herself. “I... I’m okay with talking, if... if you’d like to.”

Twilight nodded too, her gaze fixated on Fluttershy’s figure.

“Fluttershy? The... the pony I thought I knew for the past months. The element of kindness. Is that you? Or is it all a façade?”

“It’s a part of me,” Fluttershy whispered. “The good part. I haven’t been faking that. I just... could hide the bad part. Until...”

“Until you couldn’t.”

“Until I couldn’t.”

“If that’s just you, then how much are the other girls hiding? What about Pinkie?” Twilight suddenly laughed, as she became aware of the implications of her thought. “If you were hiding this from us all along, then isn’t it naive to think that there isn’t also something behind that pony, who’s already a riddle?”

“Uhm. And what about you? Are you hiding something?”

“I...” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “No.”

“No?”

“No.”

It was true. There were of course things Twilight had been hiding before, but nothing that compared.

Fluttershy bit her lip. “I guess... it’s not everypony, then...”

“What was it that made you do it? What is it about sex that is so... so special to you? You can pleasure yourself, can’t you?”

Fluttershy nodded. “I... it was... it wasn’t the sex. Not directly. It was... closeness. And... having somepony... show love to me. Make love to me. Sex was just the way to do that. The... the way to convince me... I think.”

Twilight was about to answer, but she stopped herself, seeing as Fluttershy wasn’t yet finished.

“I could feel it growing inside of me,” she whispered. “And then... once, after a few days alone, I just... just did it. Rainbow had come over. It wasn’t planned, not for that day. But I had the potion. And... and... a-and I got her under my control, and... and... Twilight, it felt so good!” Twilight could see her muzzle trembling, her tongue running over her lips. “So good. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt in my life, by far. But of course I regretted it. I... I regretted it... so much... but... but coming clean would have ruined everything, and... as it was... nopony had been hurt, and I told myself that once was enough and that... if... i-if I did it again, if I attempted it again, that I would turn around after it’s too late, and ruin everything. I swore that to myself, that I would do that. And I... I thought... I thought that would protect me... from myself. I thought, with that oath, I wouldn’t dare to do it again, because then I would have to ruin it, and that’s why I didn’t need to tell anypony. And... whenever I’m with you, or with the other girls, it’s not so bad anyway. In those moments, I always feel like I have it under control. That makes it harder to say something. But... but I also feel disappointed whenever I see you, and you don’t... you don’t...”

She paused, swallowing, hiding her face.

“It became too much. I had to do it again. And I wanted you, I knew that. So I invited you over. I still got some of the potion from Zecora. I had made a few animals lure her out of her hut, and I’d snuck in and stolen it. And when I was about to... rape you...” Twilight shuddered at the word. “... it wasn’t the oath that made me turn around. I had already convinced myself to break it. It was just... wrong. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. Not... not again.”

“That...” Twilight shook her head, swallowing. “That almost makes you sound like a hero.”

“I’m not.”

“Aren’t you, though? I asked you on that day if you had an excuse. Isn’t that one?”

“No. I wasn’t under drugs. It was all myself.”

“But why does that matter?”

“Well... if I had told you about it. Would it have convinced you?”

“... no.” And that was bad. Twilight knew these moments, those moments when something about her worldview crumbed in on itself. Didn’t make sense anymore.

Didn’t hold up.

“This... I... I... I think... it looks like... it looks like we are too quick to judge ponies. It’s easy to live a decent life if you have no reason to be bad, isn’t it? Maybe we can’t judge ponies just based on what they do... or maybe, maybe not even close.”

“But can’t you spin that further?” Fluttershy remarked. “Isn’t everything we do because we are the person we are, which we didn’t choose?”

“Maybe. But you... you went against your desires when you didn’t rape me. And... and you failed when you didn’t talk to us earlier... and when you did it to Rainbow. Acting differently would have made you a worse pony... or a better one. That’s where I would like to draw the line. On the choices you make... within their context.” She sighed. “But either way... I’m not mad at you anymore.”

“I think you have a right to be, though.”

“I don’t.” Twilight stood up. “And I’m not. At all, really. As far as I’m concerned, you owe me nothing. It’s... funny how different I see this now, but I... I honestly do feel like I owe you for not going through with it.”

“Mhh...” Fluttershy stood up too, a real smile on her face. “Let’s say we’re even?”

Twilight nodded. “Even.”

“And friends.”

“And cold.”

“And cold.” Twilight giggled. “Come here. I’ll take us back home.”

Chapter 4

“Rainbow Dash?”

Despite Twilight’s tracking spell, they had spent a good while searching for the athletic flier. Eventually, it had been Fluttershy who had suggested looking around Sweet Apple Acres. It was a mystery to Twilight how Rainbow could sleep like this, lying in a tree with nothing but a piece of cloud as a pillow.

“Rainbow?”

Rainbow Dash raised her head, her ruby eyes darting around aimlessly. When they found Fluttershy, she immediately jerked backwards, causing her to lose balance, falling off her branch. With a few hasty flaps she caught herself, coming to a soft landing beside the trunk.

“What is she doing here?”

“I came to apologize,” Fluttershy said, her eyes fixated on the ground. “I’m so sorry. I can’t do more, but I... I want to be friends with you again. If you can forgive me.”

“No.”

Fluttershy bit her lip, responding nothing. Rainbow’s gaze flipped between them, and she seemed to expect more to come. When nothing happened, she huffed, stroking over her muzzle with her left wing.

“You’re with her?”

“Yes.” Twilight bowed her head, taking a step closer toward Fluttershy to underline her comment. “Completely.”

Rainbow’s eyes narrowed. “You’re the one who has the next biggest reason to be angry at her.” She took a few steps closer, but Twilight didn’t retreat, and though her fear was apparent, neither did Fluttershy. “Are you-”

“I’m not being mind controlled,” Twilight said, not snappy or unfriendly, but firm. “Do you really think I would’ve taken another drink from her?”

“Then why?”

“Because... Fluttershy...” Twilight gulped. “She’s been dealing with some horrible problems, Rainbow. Things we two probably can’t even imagine. She has desires that can overwhelm her, and... and a long time of not getting what she wants.”

Rainbow’s expression gave no hint as to what she thought of this answer.

“And what’s that?”

Beside her, Fluttershy visibly cringed, but Twilight didn’t give the answer that she knew her friend had feared.

“Affection.”

“Affection.” There was a pause. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Animals aren’t enough, if that’s what you mean.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” A shudder went down Twilight’s neck at that comment. Never before had Rainbow been so cold towards her. “Why don’t you call it what it is? It’s sex.”

Twilight shook her head. “It’s affection.”

“She had friends.”

“How often have you hugged her? For more than a few seconds?”

Rainbow’s nostrils flared. “How often do you think other ponies have hugged me?”

“You’re not her.”

“Clearly not.”

“Rainbow Dash. You don’t know what it is like to want something so badly and not get it. I don’t know what it is like. Not anymore. And don’t even try to compare it to yourself.” Her eyes shot daggers at the blue pony, who had already opened her mouth to say something. For the first time, she seemed to be more flustered than angry.

“I’m not saying she’s without fault, but you have to understand that we made it harder for her, not easier. Teasing her and not delivering, that’s the worst we could have done, even if none of us could have known. And she did come clean. She could have gone through with it and neither of us would know.”

“After she’s already raped me.”

“Yes, well.” Twilight lowered her voice at that; the words still hurt. “As I said. Not without fault.”

“I’ve dreamed of you for too long, Rainbow,” Fluttershy whispered. “I couldn’t resist.”

Rainbow’s gaze flickered toward her, and for a few moments, neither of them broke eye contact.

“I want to remember.”

“Uhm. I have no idea how that-”

“Twilight?”

“...” It took her a few seconds to process the chance of topic, and to formulate a response. “Well,” she began carefully, “I’m not an expert on the field, but I do know the basics. There are two fundamentally different ways to make somepony forget something. A, you erase the memory, or B, you trick the mind into not remembering it. With A, your memory’s gone, period. But with B, it’s relatively easy to recover. There is a potion for it. Where it gets more complicated is if you do tricks to cover it up more thoroughly, but-”

“I told her that she would never remember ever again,” Fluttershy spoke up. “Uhm. I... I wanted to make sure.”

“I don’t think that matters,” Twilight said hastily. “Because Rainbow wouldn’t know how to do these tricks unless you gave her detailed instructions. We know that the Parasite – that’s the potion Fluttershy used – gives you extended control over your mindscape – in exchange for your willpower – but even in that state, I doubt that you’re capable of erasing your memory. So, if I’m not wrong, and I could be, then I’d say that it’s B and it’s a simple lock.”

“So we just need the stuff?” Rainbow sounded relieved. “Cool. How do we get it? Does Zecora have it?”

“Uhm...” Twilight hesitated. “Probably? It’s an important enough potion that a shaman of her caliber should have in in stock.”

“And that potion brings back every memory you’ve ever lost?” Fluttershy asked skeptically.

“No, but the potion is the same no matter what you want to get back. All you have to do is to direct it to the right time frame.” At Rainbow’s confused glance, Twilight elaborated. “Choose a memory of something that’s close to the event that you want to remember. Close temporally, I mean. Think about that and then drink the potion while you do. That’s it.”

“If I can trust you not to rip Fluttershy’s head off,” she added, “I can get it for you. You two can use the time to figure out which memory is closest to when... it happened.”

Fluttershy looked terrified at the prospect of being left alone with Rainbow, who herself once again didn’t show any reaction. Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“If I can’t, then we can also go into the forest together.”

“Nope. Get it. I’ll leave Flutters alive.”

Twilight exchanged a long look with the yellow pegasus, who eventually bit her lip, giving a weak nod.

When she returned, Rainbow was leaning in a slump against the trunk of the same tree they’d found her in earlier. Fluttershy didn’t appear to have moved at all, and neither of the two was talking. Worriedly, she cleared her throat to call attention to herself, showing the flask she was carrying to both of them, which was filled to the brim with a colorless liquid.

“I got it.”

“Great.” In a flash, Rainbow stood beside her. “Hoof it over.”

“Not so fast.” Twilight threw another gaze at Fluttershy. She couldn’t detect any injuries. “How far apart is the memory from the incident?”

“A week, maybe. Does it matter?”

“Yes, it does matter.” Twilight produced a second flask, along with a small piece of paper. “The amount you have to drink depends on the time span. You can always drink more, but this potion isn’t exactly easy to make, so...”

Giving a frustrated sigh, Rainbow nonetheless seemed to give thought to the question.

“It’s at most two weeks.”

“Okay.” Twilight threw a gaze at her scroll. “Two weeks, that’s four and a half ounces.” She tilted the flask, pouring about a third of its contents into the other one. “Here,” she said, floating it over to Rainbow Dash.

“Now, remember to think about it while you drink it. That’s not a joke. It won’t work if you don’t.”

Rainbow nodded. Taking the flask between her teeth, she let a few seconds pass, before tilting her head backwards, emptying it in a single draw.

As they waited, Twilight counted the seconds down in her head, being reminded of just how long a minute could be. When she reached eight, Rainbow suddenly shook her head, biting her lip.

“Is it coming back?” Fluttershy spurted out.

“There’s other stuff coming back, but not...”

She interrupted herself. A shadow hushed over her face, and she pressed her lips together. Something hit Twilight at her left hoof, and as she turned her head, she could see that Fluttershy had clutched onto it, apparently close to panic.

“Bitch.”

Fluttershy winced, and Twilight’s body tensed, prepared to cast a defensive spell at a moment’s notice if necessary.

“At least it didn’t take long.” Rainbow made no attempts to attack. Her eyes closed, she seemed to comprehend the memories she had recovered. Twilight instinctively folded her ears at the comment, avoiding to throw a look at Fluttershy.

“And you didn’t use it to ask me stuff...” Rainbow sighed. “I need time to think.” And without another word, she shot into the air and fled off towards Ponyville.

Twilight’s heart seemed to sink an inch as she spotted the closed sign on the outside of the boutique. Was Rarity taking this whole mess so close to heart that she didn’t want to deal with customers anymore? Or was it just coincidence?

There was no immediate response as she pushed on the doorbell. Twilight chewed on her lip, already thinking about where the fashionista might have gone off to. It could be a bar or a restaurant, or it could be something related to her work. It might also be the Spa, though that seemed unlikely, just because she usually went there with Fluttershy, and going alone would surely raise too many unwanted memories...

But her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of steps from the other side, and a moment later, Rarity opened, who was wearing her mane not in its usual, eloquent form, but in a simple ponytail.

“Twilight. Come in.”

Twilight nodded, her worried gaze following Rarity ahead of herself, who lead them upstairs into her private room, which Twilight had only ever been to once before. There was an opened book lying face-down on the bed.

“I had no plans to leave the house for today.”

“That bad?”

“No, not that bad.” Rarity gave her a look and a smile. “I just wanted a bit of time for myself. And it’s the end of the season. Not the most important time for customers.”

Twilight nodded, stepping in front of the bed to get a better look at the book Rarity must have been reading. She raised a curious eyebrow at the title.

“‘The Lunar Empire?’”

“It’s a fictional piece. It rewrites the history of Luna’s rebellion, a version where Celestia doesn’t confront her directly, and instead the issue is settled through war.”

“Huh.” Twilight levitated the book up to get a better look, careful to let no pages flip. Indeed, the image on its cover depicted a well-drawn scene of war. The other thing Twilight noticed was just how thick it was. Combined with a look at its font as she turned it around yielded an estimate of over three-hundred-thousand words, which was roughly double the length of a medium-sized book.

“You read this kind of stuff?”

Rarity shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“And here I was, thinking Rarity only reads light romance.” She put the book back on the bed. “I guess since ponydom’s never had a war, you have to tweak history a bit for this kind of story.”

“I read romance, too. But this piece is somewhat of a classic. I would have expected you of all ponies to know it.”

Twilight shook her head. “When I read fiction, I usually do it to take a break from learning, and then I prefer lighter stories.”

Her eyes on the cover, Twilight was about to bring up the issue which surely both of them could feel hanging in the air, but something else crept into her mind instead... a thought that seemed inappropriate, not to mention unfair, and yet...

On their visit two days prior, the visit that had gone so terribly wrong, Twilight had overheard a short passage of her friends’ conversation. Fluttershy had apologized, and Rarity had forgiven her, essentially right away.

But... why?

Back then, it had seemed like genuine friendship, but now? Could there have been another, deeper reason? Did she relate to Fluttershy in some way?

Her eyes flickered toward the fashionista, who looked strangely different with her mane in this state. She is naturally beautiful, Twilight thought. Even without doing anything to her appearance, she was already more attractive than either Twilight or any of the other girls. And yet, right now, Twilight almost felt afraid of her. ’If that’s just you, then how much are the other girls hiding?’

No, not almost. She did feel afraid. Her eyes met Rarity’s, and a shiver ran down her spine. Did she know? Did she know what she was thinking? Was she in danger? Right now, in this moment?

“Twilight?” Rarity squinted her eyes, taking a step closer. “What is troubling you, dear?”

Twilight took her time with the answer. The voice in her head told her that she had to lie now. That it was dangerous to tell the truth.

And she almost listened to it.

“I’m sorry.” She trotted over to the bed and sat down on its edge. “I... I’ve been thinking about when we visited Fluttershy. Why you were so quick to forgive her. And... if you’re also hiding something.”

“Everypony is hiding something, Twilight. But if you’re asking if I was forgiving towards Fluttershy because I did something similar myself... then no.”

Twilight gave a crooked smile at that. “Of course, if you had a secret, you would deny having it.”

“Would I, though?” Rarity took the book in a white cloud, and without looking at the page number, she closed it and put it onto a shelf, then she sat down next to Twilight. “If we had just asked Fluttershy before she did it, she might have told us everything.”

She gave Twilight a friendly poke at her shoulder.

“I don’t have a terrible secret to hide, darling.”

Twilight looked at her, nodding.

“Unless you’re a changeling.”

“I suppose.”

“Can I check?”

“Is there a way?”

“It would be an easy spell.”

“Go ahead.”

Twilight nodded. Closing her eyes, she lit her horn in an improvised spell to match Rarity’s appearance against her true self. The result was unambiguous.

“No changeling.”

“For a moment you had me doubting myself.”

“Mhhh...”

“Now I do have to ask, though. Do you...”

“No.”

“But Fluttershy did.”

Twilight bit her lip, shifting backwards on the bed, drawing up her hind legs.

“Yes.”

“Maybe she’s a changeling. Did you check?”

This caused a series of giggles from Twilight.

“Then why did you?” she asked once she had calmed herself.

“Forgive her?”

Twilight nodded.

“I... I’m not sure. I suppose it would be because I thought to know that she’s kind at heart, so whatever made her do this, it must be... must be a terrible thing. There must be something she is fighting with.”

So she was right all along. But she didn’t have the full picture... not yet.

“If... if she had done it to another pony before me... and if she had gone through with it...”

Rarity’s eyes widened. “Did she?”

Twilight nodded.

“Rainbow Dash?”

Twilight nodded. Rarity’s gaze left hers, and she slid a bit closer, hugging herself.

“Shit.”

“I know.”

Rarity sighed. “We might have cut her off there, two days ago. Maybe... maybe she was about to tell us.” A shiver ran over her body. “Poor...”

There was a knock coming from the door.

“... Rainbow Dash. Do you think it’s her?”

“Why would it be her?” They both slid off the bed. Rarity shrugged.

Together, they descended the staircase, making for the entrance hall. When Rarity opened, Twilight could only blink in surprise.

It was her. But that must have been a coincidence.

The thought was wiped away as she saw the expression on the athlete’s face. Something was wrong. Twilight’s heart sank. Not again. Not again! Why couldn’t things just go back to normal?

She didn’t have enough time to come up with a suspicion of what it was, but nothing she might have thought of would have prepared her for what she heard.

“Fluttershy is dead.”

Twilight was falling. Her mind was blurry, her body cold. Beside her, Rarity voiced her shock. Rainbow said something about having found the pegasus dead in front of her cottage. Rarity asked how it had happened. Rainbow said she didn’t know. Rarity was asking why-

“I’ll bring her back.”

Both Rainbow’s and Rarity’s head spun towards her. Rainbow’s eyes twitched.

“What?”

“I’ll bring her back,” Twilight repeated. “I can. I know. I’ve been looking into this for months. I have-”

“Bring her back from the dead?”

“Yes,” Twilight said breathlessly. “Yes. I know they say it’s impossible. The princess can’t do it. Nopony can do it. But I know who can. And I’ll... I’ll” She gulped. “I can get her to do it. I hope.”

“Twilight. She committed suicide.”

Twilight shook her head. “There’s no way this was suicide.”

“Are you saying it was coincidence?” Rainbow’s voice was in equal parts skepticism and panic.

Twilight nodded. “She lives beside the forest. There are enough ways it could have happened. Listen. You were not there yesterday. Neither of you was. I know she didn’t do this. She would not give up her life. Not now.”

“Even if you’re right.” Rarity took a step outside the boutique. “How could you-”

“Doesn’t matter, does it? Rainbow.” She turned toward the athlete. “When did you find her? How do you know she’s dead? Who else knows? And what did she die to?”

“I was there two minutes ago.” Rainbow gestured frantically with her left wing. “I... I don’t know anything else! She didn’t seem hurt, she was just lying there, not moving, or breathing-”

“How do you know she’s dead, then?” Rarity cut her off.

“‘Cause her body was cold-”

“But that doesn’t mean she’s dead!” Rarity stomped at the ground, staring disbelievingly at the pegasus. “Rainbow, there are animals which can turn you to stone, or freeze you, or-”

“But she wasn’t stone!”

“And you know that there isn’t also some creature who just paralyzes ponies and somehow makes their bodies run cold? Why in Celestia’s name didn’t you bring her with you?”

“Because I didn’t want to have others-”

“Rarity’s right,” Twilight cut her off, her mind racing. “We have to check. Rarity, tell the other girls. We’ll meet at the library. Rainbow Dash, fly me to the cottage.”

Chapter 5

Everything felt strangely surreal as Twilight clung to the athlete’s back, watching the landscape melt away beneath her. Her steady wing beats seemingly unhindered by the additional weight, Rainbow flew them faster than Twilight had thought possible. The boutique lay on the south-east edge of town, making it the closest building to Fluttershy’s in all of Ponyville. Rainbow’s two minute figure had probably not been an exaggeration.

“Are you serious about this, Twilight?” Rainbow shouted over the sound of the wind. “Can you really do this?”

“I have no idea,” Twilight shouted back, trying to keep the fear in her heart at bay. “But I’ll be damned if I don’t try. Why did you visit her?”

Instead of responding, Rainbow seemed to beat her wings even harder, as if Fluttershy’s life depended on those few seconds. She delayed the answer until they reached their destination; breathing heavily, she allowed Twilight a safe slip off her back before she shuffled forward, halting beside a motionless body in the grass.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t going to hurt her. I just wanted to... talk.”

Twilight nodded. A lump was forming in her throat as she followed Rainbow to the figure that lay beside the small bridge leading across the stream they’d just flown along. A simple spell answered the most pressing question.

“She is dead.” Biting her lip, she lifted Fluttershy up, searching for injuries. “If an animal did this, then it must have gone quite far outside of the forest. It seems unlikely, but I’m sure it wasn’t-”

She interrupted herself as her eyes caught what she’d been searching for.

“Look.” She made a gesture for Rainbow to come closer.

There, on the backside of the dead pegasus’ left hind leg, were two tiny red dots. Out of each, reaching to the tip of her hoof, had emerged a derisively narrow trickle of blood.

“She’s been bitten.” Twilight put the body back down, closing her eyes, shielding herself from the sight. “It must have been poisonous... a snake. Or an insect.”

“So if she didn’t do this on purpose, then whatever did it could still be sneaking around here?” Rainbow’s gaze flickered across the ground, her body tense. “Gosh darn’...”

“Listen.” Twilight tried to hide her weakness, but inside, she felt close to resignation. “Pretend she’s not dead yet, alright? Pretend she’s... struggling to stay alive or something. Until I... fail to-”

“And how long will that be?”

“A few hours.”

“Really? Why?”

“It has to be fast. If we don’t... if we can’t do it now, then... it’ll be impossible. The...” A sob she couldn’t hold back came over her lips. “The pony body decays too fast when... you... might not smell anything for a few days if it’s cold, but...” She broke up. “Eight hours is as much safe time as we have. Five if we want to make sure she won’t be hindered if she...” Her muscles tensed, and she had to prevent herself from striking something. She had to save her energy.

“All ponies have magic in them, but it leaves us quickly upon death, and once it does, she’ll...” She broke up again, pulling herself together. “She can’t have been here for longer than two or three hours. That gives us another two to try... and... look. We have to take her to the library. Can you fly her there? Make sure not to touch the wound.”

“Can’t you just teleport her?”

Twilight shook her head. “I want to save my strength.”

For a few moments, Rainbow just looked at her. Then she nodded.

“Should I carry you both?”

Twilight shook her head. “Avoid other ponies if possible. And... get Applejack afterwards. Rarity will have gone to Pinkie first.”

Rainbow nodded again. “Whatever you want to do,” she murmured as she ascended with Fluttershy in her arms, “I hope it works.”

A shiver ran down Twilight’s neck as she watched her figure disappear.

“So do I,” she whispered.

Never before in her life had Twilight wanted to cry so badly. But it had also never been so important to resist the urge.

She needed to stay collected. If she was going to fail, then she’d have enough time to mourn her loss. But not now. As long as there was still hope, she was not allowed to cry.

The walk home was spent at war with her restless emotions. Twilight kept her head low, pushing back everything she felt, until she was filled with a cold determination. Calculating, rational, and quick. That was what she needed to be.

If only for a while.

When she entered the library, all of the others were already waiting for her. Rainbow Dash was pacing, but stopped as she saw Twilight. Rarity was sitting on the floor, comforting a sobbing Pinkie Pie, whose mane was as flat as it had been at their last meeting. Applejack and Spike just stood there, staring at the figure in the center of the room.

“T-... Twilight.” Spike made an admirable attempt to appear calm. “This just came for you.”

Her eyes flickered toward the item in his grasp, and her heart sank. Of course. Of course the princess would know. She was lucky that she hadn’t come personally. Not yet, anyway.

But she couldn’t explain things. This time, this one time, she would act by herself.

Licking her lips, she unrolled the letter, taking a brief glimpse at what was written. It was short, and essentially what she had expected.

“Here is what I need you to do,” she said, stuffing the letter in between two books without another look. “I might be able to bring Fluttershy back, but I can’t cure her. We don’t know what bit her. Even if she came back right now, we don’t know if it would kill her again, which means that-”

“Twilight,” Applejack interrupted her. “Twi. Are ya just gonna ignore the letter?”

Twilight turned her head towards the farmpony.

“Yes.”

“Twi... listen. With what Fluttershy did-”

“Let’s make one thing clear,” Twilight said, stepping beside Fluttershy’s cold body. “What Fluttershy did, and what happened to her now, those have nothing to do with each other. You want to be angry at her? Fine. Be angry at her. But be angry after we bring her back. What she did had nothing, nothing to do with how she died, and you all know you’d have forgiven her anyway, sooner or later. We got to get her back.”

“Sug- ... Twilight. I know you dun wanna believe that it was suicide, but what if yer wrong? What if-”

Twilight stomped at the ground in frustration. They didn’t have time for this.

“If it was suicide, then... I’ll...” But it was when she said this that she realized she had no idea what then. For a moment, she considered the possibility. What if was suicide? What if they brought her back, but... no.

No.

“No. It wasn’t suicide. I just know it.”

This, of course, was a lie. She didn’t know it. All she knew was that she had connected with Fluttershy on that day on the beach, and now...

But Applejack didn’t speak up further, and so Twilight continued.

“Get a doctor to look at her. Get her to do whatever necessary to ensure that she’s... she’s...” She paused, not knowing which word to use. “... that she’d be okay if she were alive. Or if it’s impossible, then find that out. We’ve never used our reputation as elements. Use it now. Tell her that we’re on a secret mission from the princess, that Fluttershy has fled into the element to survive, and that her body needs to be cured so she can return.” It was a story she had come up with on her way here. “Most ponies don’t know the first thing about how magic works, or the elements. The doctor will buy it. Even if she doesn’t, she’ll do what you ask. And make sure to have as few ponies hear about this as possible.”

“Twilight.” Rarity stood up, leaving Pinkie alone for the moment. “What if you can’t bring her back? What will-”

“-they think?” Twilight felt her anger blazing up, and it took all her restraint not to direct it at Rarity, who wasn’t the reason for it, who had done nothing wrong. “I don’t care. I don’t care what they think. We have a chance to get Fluttershy back. Nothing. Else. Matters.”

Even though Twilight had done her best not to raise her voice, it was clear that Rarity had felt her anger. But she didn’t say anything, she just nodded.

“I ain’t sure about this.” Applejack seemed to be intimidated, but she didn’t back down. “Death’s final, Twilight. I know that none of us wanted her dead, but-”

“If you want her to come back,” Rainbow said in an icy cold voice, “you’ll do what Twilight says.”

“But what’re ya gonna do? Nothin’ can bring a pony back, Twilight. Nothing. Everypony knows that. And... if we do this, if you want us to lie to others, then at least we gotta know...”

Twilight closed her eyes. Nopony said anything to take the burden off of her. And she had no excuse. There was no reason not to tell them.

Maybe she was just afraid to hear herself say it.

“Alright.”

Her eyes flickered over the pegasus’ face. Was this all, all of it, just a false hope she had given herself to?

The answer was that it did not matter. Whether her chance was big or small, she had to try. Even if it was one percent, she still had to do everything she could to make it possible.

“Phoenixes.” Twilight kept her gaze at her dead friend as she spoke. “The... the laws that are being taught in magic. The models we use. They are all false. We use them because they work, they work for all magic ponies can do, even alicorns, and for everything animals can do, too. Not for phoenixes. They deform the world without using the magical plane, and we have no idea how they do it. And they can come back from the dead. They are the answer. If there is a way, then it’s through them.” She drove her tongue over her lips, still not looking up. “There is almost no literature on them, so little that I’ve already wondered... well, that doesn’t matter. But I’ve read everything that I’ve found, and... some of the things they’ve done...” She shook her head, not finishing the sentence. “But there’s one thing I’ve understood over the past months. Their race; it’s a collective. I don’t know if there’s one... thing that controls... or lives for them all, or if it’s just one of them who can somehow get into the others’ minds, or... but there is something. Something... someone who looks over them. After everything I’ve found out, that is clear. And...”

She made a pause, looking up. Five faces were turned towards her, but no-one spoke.

“I... I didn’t start the study because of this. But... it’s not like we don’t live dangerous lives. Rarity almost fell to death. Applejack almost drowned. Pinkie almost got eaten. I wasn’t blind, I knew it could happen, and I knew that this might... might be a solution. And then... well, then Spike brought one of them here, and suddenly it wasn’t just a wild idea anymore, but something that I could actually try.”

“Y-you mean...” Spike’s stunned gaze met hers. “Peewee?”

Twilight nodded. “I’ll have to use him to get to... to her. It. Whatever it is, I’ll have to reach it through him. I’m sorry if you expected more,” she added in a weak murmur. “But that’s all I have. I’ll use Peewee to try to contact... it, and ask. Maybe it could also cure Fluttershy. It probably could. But for the biggest chance, we need the smallest request. Just her life. Are you with me?”

The moment that she finished talking, Rainbow flapped her wings, landing next to her.

“I am.”

Slowly, Rarity nodded. “So am I.”

“I can’t!”

Everyone’s head turned towards Pinkie. A feeling not quite like anything she’d felt before ran through Twilight’s heart as her gaze fell onto the pink pony. It was easy to forget sometimes, but Pinkie was different in more ways than just being enthusiastic and hyperactive. She had never seen her cope with loss before, but now it dawned on her that it must hit her harder than anyone else.

“It’s okay,” she said quickly, releasing her from the obligation to come up with an answer. “We don’t need everypony. Just...” She fought with her words for a moment, debating whether to be quiet, but then she continued. “... what’s important is that we have somepony whom everyone will trust...”

“You know I hate lyin’, Twilight.”

“I know.”

Applejack sighed. “‘Course I’m in, anyway. I know you’re bein’ honest when you say there’s a chance, so... not much of a choice.”

“Alright.” Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. ”You, uhm.” Her eyes flickered back toward Fluttershy’s dead body. “You can take her with you, or talk to a doctor first. Or anything. It’s up to you. You have two hours. And... Spike? Can you bring Pinkie Pie home?”

“Why can’t she stay here?”

“Because... I’m not sure how the... resurrection process would work, but there’s a chance that... let’s just have no-one around, just in case. Okay?”

“But... we don’t have to leave... right now, r-right?”

“No, you can stay for a bit longer.”

Without throwing another look at the group, Twilight ascended the staircase, practically fleeing onto the first floor. Maybe... it could have been foolish not to have tried this first, before she asked the others... there was a decent chance that she would simply not be able to reach it, and then that would be that. But on the other hoof, if she wasn’t successful at first, then she’d keep trying anyway... and if they delayed, then... no. This was the right order. The order to maximize their chances.

They didn’t keep Peewee locked up; after looking around the place for a few moments, she saw him sitting on her desk. Despite having tried to figure it out, Twilight still had no clue how much of what was going on he understood. Sometimes, he seemed to be as intelligent as Owlowiscious, other times it seemed as if he didn’t even register her when she was addressing him. Either way, he had never attempted to leave the house, nor had he ever made a mess of things.

Her mouth felt dry as she frantically thought about what to do. Should she resort to magic right away? Or should she talk to him first?

The latter seemed like a more reasonable option.

“I know there is someone watching over your race,” she said, her heart beating fast. “I want to talk to her. I want to ask her something. Please?”

Peewee’s head turned towards her, his face giving away no hints as to what went on in his mind. For a while, they just stared at each other, then a twitch went through his wings, and he turned back towards the window.

Twilight gulped, reaching out with her magic. She felt for his body, his feathers, his skin, and then she dove deeper, touching around the corners of his mind, careful not to cross that invisible line. Exploring other being’s thoughts was difficult, it was unlawful without explicit permission, and it was dangerous. And that was true for ponies, of whom it was known that their minds were always compatible. For a phoenix, on the other hoof...

Twilight had left that part out; it would be of no use for the others to worry about her, given that, in the end, she was going to do it anyway. But there was a chance, a possibility for permanent damage or worse if she dove too deep into this being’s mind, a mind that was composed in a way she did not understand.

There was no response from the phoenix, nor from the entity she was trying to reach. Twilight continued to search along the edges of his mind, to poke against them every once in a while, hoping to attract its attention whilst avoiding the danger. But no.

A drop of sweat ran down her brow, and it was the perception of this fact that broke her concentration. With a sigh full of frustration and fear, she retreated her senses, and she began pacing around the place, walking upstairs towards her bed, lying down for a few moments, standing back up again, telling herself that she had to have at least a ten minute break before trying again.

But a sense of recklessness washed over her, and she retook her position in front of the phoenix, her eyes closed. Once again she reached out with her mind, retaking that familiar path around the edges of his, feeling... touching... poking with increased resolve.

Did it know? Could it sense that one of its many parts was being pursued; did it feel the visitor who was so eagerly demanding entrance?

Twilight’s heart paused for a moment while her resolve made the decision to act before her mind could stop her, and without a moment of hesitation, she stepped beyond the border, piercing into the unknown.

And her mind was lit on fire. For a moment she could see that it was true, that there really was something lingering beyond the phoenix’ thoughts, and that it was watching her. Within that moment she screamed her request into the void, but then everything was ignited in a blazing red light that swallowed the room, swallowed her thoughts, swallowed everything. She felt a force entering her mind, and she felt it being rejected, bursting out of her skull in a thousand different directions.

Numb and pain, red and light, Fluttershy and pain and red and Fluttershy, light and numb, Fluttershy and red and pain, Fluttershy and red, red and pain, pain and Fluttershy, pain and red and red, and red, and red, and red, and red, and red and red and red and red and light and then a change of seasons. The sea was no longer at flood, merely sprouting random fountains that would occasionally send her mind towards places she no longer understood, on pathways where she could no longer see the beginning nor the end nor grasp the ground on which she was standing, the random spot amidst an ocean of nothing.

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