Pregnant Principal Poopy Pants
Celestia sat silently in her silver suede seat, silently swearing at the sight of her sizely stomach.
“Celestia, you’re fat,” Luna said.
“Shut up, you snatch-tease!” Celestia barked. “This is what happens when you have a baby!”
“You get ugly?”
“No, you get fa--You hussy. You almost made me say it.” Luna leaned down to Celestia’s belly and kissed it motherly. “Don’t french my baby, you clit inverter.”
“I’m gonna be an aunt, Celestia!”
“Not if I abort you first. That’s right, Luna. I’m talking to you, not the baby. At least the baby is still redeemable.”
Celestia and Luna had been bickering for the last several hours it seemed. This was a big day for Celestia as well as the entire school, because with graduation just a few weeks away, it was time for her end of the year speech. Normally this was a time when she'd speak guiding words about making the right choices in life, but seeing her belly with a baby she wasn't expecting made her reconsider even giving the speech this year.
“What am I going to do?” Celestia said, putting her face on her desk.
“Kill yourself?”
“Again, that kills the baby and not you.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Celestia! The Elements of Harmony are all going to be giving a speech before you, and you need to be there!”
“Applejack’s will be dumb, Fluttershy can’t talk, Pinkie Pie will probably flash the audience, Rainbow Dash will take credit for it, Rarity will be a bitch and Twilight will put them to sleep. Pretty sure no one will be there after that… Or at least not after Rarity gets up.”
“What about Sunset Shimmer?”
“You really think she needs anymore spotlight? She tried to enslave the school, she broke up my favorite band, and she brought that stupid brainy girl to my school. I think she’s done enough.”
“Y-you mean our school, r-right?”
Suddenly, Starlight Glimmer poked her head through the door.
“Get out, Starlight! There’s nothing wrong with a little competition!”
Suddenly, Adagio poked her head through the door.
“Did I ask for the worst character of all time?”
Suddenly, Luna poked her head through the door. Celestia quickly looked to where Luna was standing before to see another Luna disappear with a poof.
“Holy shit! When did you learn the kage bunshin no jutsu?!”
“Serious talk, Celestia. What do you want these kids to leave with at the end of the year? What do you want them to have learned?”
“I… I want them to know that I’m proud of them. They’ve endured being brainwashed by a she-demon, brainwashed by sirens and almost killed by one of the students who is actually giving a speech holy fuck why is she even here?”
“Anything else?”
“I guess… I guess that as long as you’re honest, kind, filled with laughter, generous and loyal, and with a little bit of magic, they can overcome anything.”
“But magic doesn't exist in our world.”
“Welcome to the economy, bitches!”
“That! See! Don’t you want to tell them that?”
“You know what, Luna? You’re right!” Celestia quickly got to her feet, accidentally slamming her belly into her desk on the way up. “Ouch. Sorry, Sethisto Junior. Luna, you’ve awakened in me a new fire in my eyes. I’m going to give that speech!”
The gymnasium was filled to the brim with the 30-something kids that attended CHS. They were all ready to finish up the year, but even more important, they were all excited to hear the final words of encouragement from their favorite peers and staff.
Celestia walked forward to the center of the stage, eyeing the crowd nervously for anyone pointing out her baby belly, but instead, she saw faces full of anticipation. Were they actually excited about today’s assembly? As Celestia spoke, she had never seen her students so wide-eyed with vigor, and for the first time today, Celestia could finally speak without any hint of reservations.
“I’m glad you could all be here, students of Canterlot High. Before I introduce your students, I would like to tell you how proud I am of each and every one of you. You’ve endured so much this year, and speaking of enduring, I’d like to turn the time over to our first speaker, Applejack.”
Celestia walked off stage with a smile, thinking about how enduring and hardworking Applejack was in all that she did, but Applejack walked on switching looks between Celestia and the crowd.
“Golly. I sure hope y’all can endure mah speech, heheh.”
“You did great!” Luna said, patting Celestia on the back. As the blow hit her, however, Celestia could feel something drop inside her body.
“Uh-oh. Luna, it’s coming.”
“But it’s only been 8 months! You still have--”
“I don’t know what’s going on, but something’s happening!”
“What about your speech?”
“You’re… urg… right… Just need to hold on… a little while longer…”
Applejack’s speech was dumb, Fluttershy could barely talk, Pinkie Pie was a fucking tease holy shit just take your top off, Rainbow Dash has no friends, Rarity was a whore and Twilight kept doing some stupid “Heil Hitler” salute every time she needed to fucking breathe. Like, that’s not even a joke. All throughout that time, though, Celestia had managed to hold back the pressure trying to push down her belly.
As soon as Twilight was done, Celestia ran onto the stage, and to make her worst fears come true, nobody had left the gym. Everyone was there waiting specifically to hear Celestia’s speech.
“Hello, students. I’m glad you’re all here. I--hurf!” The principal bent over in pain, holding her stomach. “Sorry. I’d like to take this time to tell you--oof!”
This was it. Whatever was going to happen, it was going to happen now. She looked back at Luna, then back to the students. If she was going to give birth right here and now, she had one last thing to say first.
“Welcome to the economy, bitches!”
Just as soon as the words escaped her lips, Celestia bent forward and released the pressure, but to her absolute surprise, this was no baby. Instead, a warm yellow stream began to trickle down her legs, covering her groin with a dark puddle dripping onto the floor as a solid pressure began to tumble down her back. A loud BRAAAAAAAAPPPP shattered the silence in the room, followed by a clamor of gasps and disturbed laughter from the student section. Her underpants began to fill up with a smelly solid behind her, and knowing just how much she had humiliated herself, she decided not to hold back any longer, letting the solid release until her slacks button threatened to break.
Celestia kept her bent over stance, even when it was all over, but when she looked back up to the student section, she realized that it was far from over. The students sat, shocked in stunned silence until one student stood up and…
Clap. Clap. Clap.
Following his lead, more students began to stand up and clap along, leading some to begin cheering until the entire gymnasium echoed sounds of praise for their pooping, peeing principal. As Celestia looked on at the students’ response, her heart began to race in a completely new way.
This was thrilling! This was intoxicating! This was… arousing! Yes, arousing! With no better way of phrasing it, Celestia had found her kink, and the students were figuratively eating it up.
She would have taken a bow, but with the position she was in (both figuratively and literally), there wasn't much she could do. Instead, she released another loud rip of gas, making the kids all clammor with fervor.
“Principal Poopy Pants! Principal Poopy Pants! Principal Poopy Pants!”
And thus, as one chapter ended at CHS, a new one began in its stead.
