Broken Howls and Tattered Leaves

       So there I was, sitting in a nice little pub thing, quite rustic given human standards, and drinking for the first time since my 21st birthday. I wasn't a big fan of alcohol, but this pony had enticed me with some Hard Sweet Apple Cider. Of course, he didn't say that it was hard, he just ordered normal cider. I should have known that it would have alcohol in it since I was in a pub. None of the pub's patrons would even look in my direction. I mean come on! I was a good 2 feet taller than any of them and I had a very imposing figure. I would have expected them all to run away screaming, but Stalliongrad seemed to be a mixed city and I guess I was only slightly strange. Then again, this city was near the Rainforest, so I guess the citezens had made it an art of staying out of a stranger's buisness.

       "So.... you say that you weren't always a Timberwolf?" 'Scruffy' said. Yeah, given his appearance and the fact he won't tell me his name, I had to call him something! Given what I knew cutie marks, this Pegasus had to be some sort of author or something, given that his cutie mark was that of a book and a pencil.

W-what?! I never told you anything! You haven't said a thing since we got in here?! I said, thouroughly confused. He had been sitting there for the past five minutes reading his little, ratty journal. The cover only said "Story Notes".

       "I told you. I read it! it isn't that hard to understand..." Scruffy replied nonchalantly.

So, you read it in that thing? I asked curiously. Where did you get it?

He beamed and replied. "Found it a few years back in Canterlot." He started. "I was just trotting along, and then BAM!" He smacked his hoof against the bar for emphasis. "This little beauty comes right down onto my head. I was kinda pissed at first, but after reading it, I found that it was just chock full of ideas for my writings!" He paused for a few and started to continue. "You see, I am an autho-"

Yeah, I gathered... I said, interrupting him. I decided to finish off the small pint of cider and walk out the door before he tried to get me any more drinks, but I was stopped by the sudden rush of nausea.

        You know how alcohol normally effects a human? How it is digested in their stomach fluids and all that? Well, it seems that as I don't have a stomach or a liver, it went straight to my soul stone. And hoo boy! I was drunk in under ten seconds. Not tipsy, or woozy, but dead stinking drunk. I couldn't think straight for the life of me. My thoughts were so muddled that even my body was starting to come apart. I sat down suddenly, my rump smacking into the wooden planks of the floor, and my body just simply crumbled away. The only thing left of me was my head with my soul stone lodged right in the center of my head. It made my eyes glow more than normal.

I dun feel sho gud... I groaned. It was like being drunk and having the hangover all at once.

        "Well, that's interestin innit." Scruffy commented, picking up my head. I winced at the sudden change in elevation.

Ooooww... Put meh doun! I mumbled. He promptly dropped me.

        "Looks like Timberwolves cannae hold their liquer." He laughed.

        I wanted to move so badly, but all I could do was sit and stare at the bar cushon he had dropped me upside down on. I had decided to grow some legs, but the result was not what I had been expecting.

        I had grown four, small, spiderlike legs from my head. Two grew from the corners of my mouth, and the back two grew right in the back of what would have been my skull if I still had one.

        To my eternal embarrassment, this was the exact moment that Roseluck had decided to walk into the pub. I guess she had been looking for me so she went to the place with the fewest ponies. Smart lass...

        "W-what happened to you?!" She asked. Her voice was almost that of one of her "We're doooomed" wails.

Nyet! Keep the voices down! it hurts my everything. My voice was getting less slurred. Roseluck picked me up and placed me on her back, right between her saddlebags.

        "You should be ashamed of yourself Twigleaf! Just look at you, your body is now just firewood and you are just a head! What would your mother say..." She scolded.

That choo are besht pony? I said drunkenly. The comment made her blush furiously. I giggled in response.

Roseluck ish prettiest pony prone to panic... I mumbled, or would have if I could actually speak. Instead, she heard everyword and that made her blush all the more. With that, she promptly dropped me on the cobbled street and gallopped off.

        "You aren't so good with the mares, are ya lad?" Scruffy commented as he trotted up behind me.

Pshaw! Ah ish shekshy.... no... I am wood now... Hee hee... Wood... I started rambling on as Scruffy picked me up and placed me between his wings.

        "You know, there was something like this in the note book." He said. "Something about something called a 'headcrab'? I have no idea what that is though."

        I giggled again, leaping into his unkempt mane. Rawr! You are zambie now! Nom nom nom! I said, chewing on his mane.

        Scruffy sighed. "Well, come on. We got sights to see and some ponies to meet!" Of course, I didn't hear him as I was now unconcious. I swore to my inner self to never drink again for as long as I lived.

A few minutes later

        "So, this is him?" The voice seemed to yell even though it was more of a light whisper.

        "Aye, this be the Timberwolf that that I told ye about." The familiar voice of Scruffy replied. "See? He looks like he is coming to."

        How the bloody hell can you tell? He looks like a rock to me."

        Oh shit.... this is bad. I couldn't sense any useable plants nearby nor any soil in wich to grow a new body, not to mention everything was sore.

Uuuugh... my everything hurts... I moaned.

        "What was that? He was flashing for a bit." The other voice asked Scruffy.

        "Well, I think he just said that his everything hurts. Booze will do that to ya mate."

        I 'opened my eyes' as it were, and looked about the room. I was in a basement of some kind with Scruffy and a cow of all things. Well, a bull to be precise. He was a spotty brown and what looked to be dulled horns poking out the sides of his head. The rest of the room looked like storage for something. If the 'smell' was anything to go by, then it was for a bar.

        "So, he can hear me, right Pencil?" The bull asked Scruffy. Pencil? Well, now I know he had to be an author or something. Scruffy nodded.

        "Well then. I am guessing you are wondering why you are here." I pulsed once just to let him know I was paying attention. "Well, if our sources are correct, then that means that you might be one of the 'hue-man' creatures that have been wandering about recently and we need your help."

Oh for fuck's sake. I mentally facepalmed. Apparently the other humans that were running about weren't very stealthy about their approach to coming to Equestria. That would mean that they were probably the crazier of the Bronies. I was not looking forward to meeting one of them. I have better things to do than help you guys! As much as I appreciate getting kidnapped and forcefully drafted into your secret cow army, I have a mission of my own. I can't take the time out to help you at al. I said forcefully. Scruffy translated for me.

        The cow looked somewhat surprised. "According to our sources, you humans are all about helping us end the slavery at the hands of the Diamond Dogs."

Yeah? Well, take another look mister. You kidnapped me and now have the gall to ask something of me? I'm sorry that you guys can't seem to defend yourselves, but this has nothing to do with me. As I said before, I have more important things to do than fight. Besides, fighting isn't my thing. Now, if you came up to me and asked nicely, then I may have considered it.

        "But we need your help!"

And I don't care. I'm sorry, I truly am, but I have to make sure that the world doesn't end from natural imbalance. You have noticed the weather and otherthings acting oddly, right? That is what I have to stop. It isn't natural here. I almost growled at him, but I held back. Besides, a flashing rock that can be crused under hoof isn't very threatening.

        "Then I have no choice. Bring her in!" The cow yelled up to the upper level. Terra damn him! He had Roseluck! So much for the peace seeking, underground railroad. I almost couldn't believe that he was resorting to foalnapping Roseluck just to get me to do what they wanted. If only I had some soil.

        "According to our sources, you have been traveling with this mare here. Correct? You wouldn't want anything to happen to her, correct?" I was starting to seethe. I also noticed that I was now starting to glow a faint red. Not that it mattered. I felt stronger the darker it got.

        "Please don't hurt them Twigleaf..." Roseluck whimperd. I suddenly felt that I had just woke up and had just became aware of my surroundings again. I hadn't even noticed the dirt brown Earth Pony bring her down. Her soft voice had brought me back to my senses.

What do you want... I growled this time. This bull, no he was less than that. If he was willing to threaten the life of another to get his way, he was less than a pile of shit.

        "I knew you would see things my way." He said smugly. "I need you to help out with a small prob-" He was cut off by the familiar voice of Keet as he flew in from the open door carrying a small sack of what I could feel was soil.

        "ALLONSY!" Keet cried as he dropped the bag over me. It wasn't the richest of soils, but it would do. I reached into myself and drew upon the well of energy grow myself a new body. For some reason, whenever I grew sometihg to replace a body part for myself, it was always cedar.

        Keet landed on the table in front of me and grinned smugly at the cow. "You foalnapped the wrong pony there, bovine!" Ket said as the horrified bull watched my new body grow and assemble itself until I stood at my full height and glared down at him.

Not cool bro. I growled. The bull promptly fainted at the sight of a large predator staring him down. The pony that was holding Roseluck had run off.

        "Well, that was fun." Keet said.

Really? Maybe next time you can be ki- foalnapped and threatened by a cow. I said to him, remembering the term he had used.

        "Y-you didn't really enjoy that... Did you Keet?" Roseluck asked nervously.

        "Of course not! It was a figure of speech." Keet replied. Seemingly injured by her accusation.

        "Oh good." Roseluck breathed a sigh of relief. I guess she was more like me than I thought. We both disliked violence.

I vote we get out of here before his friends come here. Besides, Don't we have to get to Ponyville?

        It was a few hours before we had gathered all the supplies we needed for the trip to Ponyville, but it was geting dark and Roseluck was tired after today's events. If I could sleep, I probably would have as well.

        We booked a room at some grungy old inn that was known as the 'Sleepy Stables'. It was run by the nicest unicorn couple that I have met so far. They were old and wisened and gratefully accepted our patronage despite me being a Timberwolf. I personally think they could tell the good people from the bad, and that is why they let us stay for cheap. Oh well, I was just glad that Roseluck was okay after today's events. It was cute in how she curled up next to my new mossy hide and mumbled softly in her slep. I couldn't tell what she was saying, but I could tell she was havin a nice dream. As for Keet. Well, he was snoring. How a bird snores, I'll never know. For now, I was content to just wait for Celestia's painted sunrise and keep an eye out for trouble. After all, I couldn't even think about putting Roseluck in harms way again.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: Oh look! Chewey uploaded another chapter! Sorry for the wait, but I have ben working on another project and work and all that jazz. In future news, there is another crossover coming up for the Everfree arc. If you follow a lot of the other stories then you might be able to guess. If you can guess, then you will recieve only ONE spoiler. You must keep it to yourself though and you can choose at which point in time you wish to know about. Also, sorry if this chapter seems a bit forced. That would be because it was. I had rewritten it like 5 times before I just went with it.

Myaa meow meow for now!**

-Chewed Pencil