Darkside of the Moon

I never was one for picking up hitchhikers.

For one, they where usually just plain crazy, or smelt bad, or where just as likely to stab you and make off with everything you have then actually, you know, hitch-hike. For another, I generally never stop when going from one point to another.

That’s why I have no right idea why I picked her up.

She was built like a knife – razor thin, tall, the dark tan of heat-treating gracing her skin, hair so dark of a blue it was nearly black (wonderful colour, I always figured,) and was wearing a well fitting black and silver jacket, a small crescent over the breast pocket. I had slowed, for whatever, reason, and caught her icy blue eyes. Perhaps that's why I stopped and backed up for her – they where the type of eyes that bored their way right through a man.

She had smiled, the expression not quite hitting her eyes, as I popped the passenger door open, the old steel complaining as the 34 year old "Hippie-Bus" reminded me that it was a dozen years older then I (even with a full rebuild it complained. Old fart…) Without a word, she slid into the brown bucket seat, and snapped the seat-belt around her tiny waist.

I raised my eyebrow, a pointless gesture as it was hidden by my tuque, the olive drab hat resting against the top edge of my glasses.

She smirked as she glanced at me, eyes tracing the buttons pinned to the brim. She flashed me a smile full of teeth, sharp canines and all, before making a simple statement, followed by a short laugh. "Muffins and Bubbles."

I just rolled my eyes as she slammed the door shut.

We sat there for a moment, stereo playing some cheerful dance song that I was hardly paying attention to (I think it was an Archie mix) as my mind slowly processed the sudden impulsive actions I had taken. Shaking my head (this wasn’t the first, nor would it be the last stupid thing I had done, not by far,) I simply asked the question that needed to be asked; "Where’re you headed?"

"Oh, here and there, maybe a little north of a dark forest," She waved her hand, steel painted nails catching the suns dying rays.

I once again raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so out past Hope?" It was generally the direction I was headed, so I figured it was worth a shot to get some clarity.

She grinned again, all fangs, and cackled. "Precisely."

With that familiar rumble behind it, the old orange and cream vehicle slowly picked up some speed as we cruised down the highway. As we made time towards the small town between the Fraser and Coquihalla rivers, she glanced about the worn interior of the bus.

I knew it was a bit of a mess, two guitar filled cases and an amp thrown in the back, as well as the un-made bed in the back (not that it was really ever used. This was a Bus, not a Westy-camper, and never let confusion enter your mind.)

The tall and dark lady hmmm'd softly to herself, tap-taping on the dash before hitting skip on the CD player. Ignoring the song change, I kept my eyes on the road.

"I think," She started, slowly bouncing her head to the song, "That I have a job for you."

I glanced over at her, taking my eyes from the road for a moment before snapping them back, raising a hand to push a stray curl of hair from my face. "Oh?"

She chuckled, icy blue eyes reflecting off the front window as if they where glowing in the twilight. "I want you to go with me and tell my dear sister something."

I rolled my eyes again. Clearly she was on a headset or something.

"No, I mean you, you daft tuque wearing gluestick."

My head snapped about, and I stared at her slack jawed for a moment. How did she...?

Suddenly, the stereo was screaming at me, the volume nearly unbearable;

The lunatic is in my head.

You raise the blade, you make the change,

You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.

You lock the door

And throw away the key;

There's someone in my head but it's not me.

And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear

You shout and no one seems to hear.

And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes;

"I'll see you on the dark side of the moon." Her voice pierced the rest of the song, her icy vocals driving through my brain.

Suddenly, I realized that I wasn't watching the road.

That ceased to matter as in a split second there was no sight, no sound - The world just went black, except two cold draconian eyes and even those faded.

I awoke to the sun pouring into the front window of the bus.

Well, partially to that, mostly to the fact that something was scratching on the metal door. My initial reaction was to swear and bolt upright - something that immediately earned me a shocked yelp as someone fell backwards from the door.

Scowling, memory of last night entering my mind, I went to push the door open to survey the damage and give who ever was scratching my paint up shit, I encountered two problems.

First off, I couldn't pull the door handle open - It was like it was super-glued shut, impossible to move.

The second came as I glanced down to see why I was having problems.

I found a third as I screamed - Or tried to.

There was nothing to scream with.

For the other problem was that I was composed of a misty, slightly glimmering mass of stuff. The fact that I had actually managed to grasp onto something with a rounded appendage made of what looked like an angry cloud was secondary. My eyes went wide as I panicked and grabbed at the door handle again, a soft blue glow covering it, slamming it open and leaving me absolutely exhausted as I tumbled out onto the dead, dry grass beside my prized bus.

And right in front of the hooves of something I had never thought I would see. I stared up, wide eyed and panicking slightly at an impossible sight, mouth wordlessly moving.

Standing before me was a stallion, seemingly towering over me, wide grey eyes staring at me with as much surprise as I at him. Green coat and a brown mane, cut short and jagged. Not at all a face I knew, but it was a pony. A thrice-damned pony. I was someplace I had no right to be at all. There was no damn way this was happening - My mind just shut down and I wordlessly and soundlessly babbled at his hooves, eyes wide as saucers.

"Uuuuuhh," his voice was full of uncertainty as he looked me over, apparently taking me to not be an immediate threat. "You okay?"

I shook my head frantically, attempting to shout my distress, before throwing my arms into the air in defeat for a moment before crashing down dramatically, throwing a tantrum like I had never before.

"You can't talk, I guess?"

My response was to nod frantically, silently screaming how much it sucked.

He sighed. "Guess that makes asking you what the heck this is and why the heck you where in it pointless, huh?"

I gave him a look, mouthing 'no shit.'

"Well, here, lets get you off the ground at the very least." He reached out with a hoof, offering assistance.

I reached out and touched him.

The effect was as immediate as it was disorientating - My world seemed to be funneled through a straw, and I heard a yelp as I was suddenly upright and facing my vehicle, mind swimming.

I took in the unharmed vehicle with an internal breath of relief, eyes tracing the half open door, looking at the word 'Harmony' written in bold lettering across its lower section before having my heart stop as I found myself focusing on what was atop the Bus.

The massive pegasus glowered from the roof, bright amber eyes narrowed even as she brushed her messy charcoal mane from her face, Blue coat nearly blending into the sky. I am not joking when I say she towered over everything. "What the heck did that freaky pony do to ya?"

My mouth moved without my input, startling me. "Dunno. It's just... gone."

'Ah fuck no.' I began panicking.

My eyes blinked, looking about for a moment.  "Do you hear...?" My mind blanked.

"Hear what?"

My-his head shook. "Never mind. Let's just go - Doesn't matter what's in there, it's not worth the trouble of dragging this thing back into town," With that he turned us away.

For some reason all I could think was 'No! At least take the keys and lock it!' Even as I was swimming in another creatures head, being technically kidnapped at this point, my prized possession was at the forefront of my mind.

My body's legs locked up, the stallion's head swinging about frantically. "Who?"

The winged pony cocked her head, looking at me/him/us like we just went crazy. "You okay there dude?"

"I swear I just heard somepony tell me to lock it and take the keys."

'I must be crazy,' I thought, mind clearly not working at all right. I was in this pony's head!

His head swung around, scanning the area again, a feeling of bewilderment in the back of my mind. "Who's there?"

My next thought was simple as he flailed his head about, frantically searching. 'He's going to make me dizzy with all this head swinging,' I tried to stop it, and even though I could feel his body (and boy, did it feel strange - not to mention naked) I could do nothing to stop the frantic searching. Groaning internally, all I could do was go on for the ride. 'How in the hell are you not getting sick?'

'That sounded like...'

I wanted to jump as I heard his voice echo through my mind. 'As if having someone talk with my body wasn't freaky enough.'

I felt my eyes widen.

"Stormwall?" Our head turned to look at the winged pony.

"Yuh?"

"I know where he went," Fear was running from his mind to mine. "He's in my head."

'Gee, thanks, now she's going to be really pissed at me.'

Stormwall opened her muzzle to speak, only for this stallion I was currently riding along with to cut her off in response to me. "It's not like you made a great impression!"

Mentally, I rolled my eyes. 'I honestly have no fucking clue what is going on.'

With a snort, he physically rolled his own. "Right."

"Dude, you are freaking me right out." Stormwall's gritty voice broke our argument.

"Sorry," I thought it, he said it.

'Look, I have no Idea what the heck is going on. I was driving my bus,' I somehow gestured to the orange and cream vehicle behind us as I thought/spoke to the pony, 'And then some crazy lady went all wacko on me and bam. Here. As a thing.' I conveniently left out exactly who I figured the crazy lady was.

He was less than convinced. "Yeah, 'kay..."

'Look, it's not like I'm hurting you dumbass,' I was a bit frustrated at this point. 'I can't even talk!' He opened his mouth again, only for me cut him off mentally. 'And think it, don't say it, you're freaking her out!'

A backwards glance showed the pegasus was indeed looking a bit worried as she looked over us, hopping down off the bus and moving over towards us.

'Sorry.'

Internally sighing and to bummed out to panic, I glumly let myself think. 'I can't do anything. Useless as always.'

'Well, don't let me stop you,' I snorted, it sounded like something I would say as he took a step forwards. 'Do whatever you want, just-' He stopped.

I blinked. Someone gasped.

I blinked again. Slowly, disbelievingly, I turned our head and raised a hoof to touch our muzzle. The feel of an unshod hoof on ones face is something odd, for sure.

'What the hell?' His voice was screaming in the back of my mind. 'Why can't I do anything?!'

Following on the course, I blinked once more. "I don't know? Maybe-" I stopped again. The voice was wrong, I noticed, strangely not panicking, an icy calm running through me. That's about when I noticed the screaming outside of my head.

I turned to look at the gigantic female pegasus, her eyes full of rage as she screamed at me, my mind taking a moment to register exactly what.

"-in Celestia's name did that thing do! Answer me Thorn!"

I found myself ignoring the pony in my head as I focused on the other one, confused as all hell as to what exactly was going on as I looked up at a very upset pegasus - a very upset pegasus that stood a full head taller then I did. This gained me more shouting.

All I could do was stare. "Holy crap..." in the back of my mind, the other pony was shouting back.

I found myself closing my eyes, in a situation of the sorts I have never liked, two people (ponies, whatever) screaming at me as we all attempted to figure out exactly what the hell had gone wrong.

Finally I had enough. "Shut the hell up!" I roared the command at the two of them, gaining silence.

Fuming, I planted my hooves and glared up at the pegasus. It was far too damn early in the day to deal with this. A simple thing to learn about me; I am not a morning person, I prefer to sleep in and run late through the night than to get up early. This was not a welcome morning routine.

"You!" I snarled it out, voice a touch cold sounding for my tastes. "Without the yelling this time, tell me what the hell is going on!?"

She blinked those yellow eyes as I glared at her, mind most likely running through a couple hundred questions of her own. My tail lashed in agitation, my mind double taking for a moment as it registered that sensation.

Lets get one thing straight. I was coming to terms with that fact I had just stolen this poor dudes body. I was coming to terms that quite a few things happened on a semi-autopilot while in said body. I was not at all used to said things and the feelings that accompanied them, nor with the fact my mind just refused to panic. A tail is a new thing. While it happening didn't bother me at all, an icy wall stopping me from freaking out, the fact that it didn't bother me did. This was easily shown by me shivering.

In any case, the wonderful beast of a pegasus known as Stormwall responded with a question of her own, eyes narrowing. "What did you do to him?"

"I don't know? I'm asking you for god's sake." My reply was cross, eyes narrowing in kind as I ignored the pony in my head.

She snorted, pawing at the ground, wings slowly spreading in an aggressive stance. Holy shit they where huge. Remember Gilda's wings? Yeah, here was a pegasus that stood almost as tall with wings just as large, and an attitude to match. "Like you don't know, demon."

My response was to honest to god facehoof at her line. And that's when I found out another fun fact.

'That is not my hoof,' Thorns comment was very much a deadpan.

'It very much is,' I shot back internally as I inspected the now nearly pitch black appendage with curiosity. I hmmmed softly. "Now isn't that interesting..."

Being the superbly intelligent man I am, I failed to notice a very angry lady decide that the time for discussion was over and proceed to slam me backwards. There was that disorientating feeling once more before I found myself laying a good distance from a groaning pony known as Thorn, a very angry pegasus hovering over him protectively.

I did what any brave man would do In my situation.

I curled into a ball and did my best to whimper.