Ages beyond Equestria: ponies out of time and place

Everything... sucks.

You suck, I suck, vacuum cleaners suck... everything is so meaningless and pointless and wasted, and... why am I even traveling with this wacky band of losers again? Ohhhh, that's right, I lost my cozy little job in Manehatten at the most awesome Gothic makeup, leather, and corset shop, due to the city's crappy new polices on ponies that 'don't self-identify as friend ponies' or some such mule dookie. My traveling companions and I here are the last few of a generation of ponies who believe we were born the kind of friends we were meant to be, and so we were ostracized and driven out by the new order. But that's about all I have in common with this airheads, whom I am currently racing along with  in a strange, outy-of-control vehicle.

"Lore, can't you slow this thing down?!" Vanilla asked, her mane whipping about wildly. "Try taking your hoof off the gas!"

"I did! It just keeps moving forward!" The little Oriental earth pony from Blissful island replied. "I guess we're just going to have to wait until the fuel runs out!"

Stupid, stupid morons!  How could they just let that big lunkhead put all that magic juice into the tank without checking it first? Now we're traveling along in the tunnel of weird, with light and sounds and colors all around us that make this feel like some bad loco weed trip. Then again, I'd rather be here with these wierdoes than back in Manehatten with my crappy family and even crappier past. I never really got along with other ponies... and they never really got along with me.

"Somepony help me! I-I can't hold on!" Gorri screams behind me, his hand slipping from the car. "I'm losing my grip!"

I'm about to go back and help the big bruiser, when the pink singing princess steps in to give him a hoof.

"Got you, mister Gorri!" Rose Petal exclaims cheerfully, using her magic and pulling him back up onto the car. "Gee, you really ought to be more careful!"

"Thank you, Miss Petal!" He replies with a smile. "Gorri truly believes that you are a life saver!"

Well, at least he's all right. I don't like any other pony, but that doesn't mean I want to see anypony else get killed. Look, I might seem like nothing more than an angry goth mare with with too much makeup and creepy eyes that glow red in the dark, but there's much more to it than that. Most ponies think these eyes of mine are lenses or a spell of some kind, but the truth is these unusual eyes of mine are very, very real. They made other filly and colts make fun of me when I was a foal, and isolated me from everypony else.

Friends? Yeah, who wants to be friends with a glowing-eyed monster? And my teen years were even worse; imagine trying to keep a boyfriend when your eyes started to glow like carriage headlights on the first date? Yeah, lets just say I don't play well with other ponies.  I jumped into the whole goth thing because it was a subculture full of outcasts like me who just didn't fit in. I was still isolated and alone though... but I actually kind of like it that way.

It was at that moment that the car began to sputter and slow down, and the weird tunnel of flashing colors and lights seemed to \fade away around us. The horseless carriage slowed to a gentle roll, and Lore-Lei was able to bring it to a stop with ease.

"Oh, thank Celestia! It's finally over!" Vanilla exclaimed, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. "That magic fuel finally ran out."

"I'm just glad I was able to guide us out of their safely. "Lore-lei added, turning to face all of us who were in the back seat. "Is everpony all right?"

"Yeah, I'm okay!" Rose Petal answered cheerfully, sitting up in her seat. "That was a whole lot of fun! Lets do it again!"

"Ugh, let's not!" I replied in a nauseated tone, putting a hoof to my mouth. Leaning over the left side of the car, I proceeded to empty the contents of my stomach all over the ground below. "BARRRFFFFF!"

"Miss Mocha, Gorri is so sorry!" The Minotaur leaned forward, apologizing to Vanilla plaintively. "I didn't mean to launch you and your friends into such a dangerous situation!"

"It's okay Gorri, we're all alive!" Vanilla smiled at him. "I'm just sorry you ended up coming along with us here. Wherever... here.. is..."

Vanilla's voice trailed off, as she stared around at her surroundings in wonder. We all start looking around at our surrounings, and that's when we discovered it.

Pink... everywhere pink. Pink houses, pink stores, pink street lamps, and a giant pink castle. Red ribbons were tied on every tree and fence post, and every sign was feminine and heart shaped. It looked like the girl's toy aisle of a manehatten department store threw up over this whole town.

"Ohhh, how pretty!" Vanilla exclaimed. "I like their sense of style here!"

"A bit garish, but it is rather adorable." Lore-Lei giggled. "I could grow to like it here!"

"Ohmygosh, this place is so CUTE! EEEEEEEEEE!"  Rose Petal squeed loudly, hopping around excitedly. "We've died and gone to heaven!"

No, Rose, this isn't heaven. With all this pink, we took that trippy tunnel to the ninth layer of Tartaus, and there is no way back to the world of sanity, especially with all of our magic fuel gone.

"Yeach, this place is way to girly!" Gorri agreed with me, before looking over at the rest of us. "Hey, what's wrong with you girls?"

It was at that moment, that Vanilla, Lore-Lei, Rose, and myself all grabbed our heads in pain.  It was like something was going a bit fuzzy in our heads, messing around and putting things back together all weird.  Finally we all opened our eyes.. and oh boy, what a shock we got!

"Aieeee! Vanilla! You've got little hearts in your eyes!" Lore-Lei exclaimed in terror. "They just appeared there all of a sudden!"

"Eeek! You've got them, too!" Vanilla exclaimed pointing a hoof back towards the other pony's eyes. "We've all got them!"

"EEEEEE! SO CUTE!" Rose Petal squealed in delight, looking at her reflection in a puddle. "We all got prettier.. well, except for mister Gorri."

"I'd rather not have freaky appearing mini-hearts in my eyes, thank you very much. "He then looked over towards me. "Even Miss Nevermore has them now, as well."

At his words, I looked over into a nearby puddle with dread, and sure enough, two read hearts were floating in the middle of my irises. They didn't impede my vision at all, but they were clearly visible for all to see. Like the others, I had been thoroughly girlified by this place, And it was then I was certain we had entered the ninth layer of Tartarus.

As I said, everything Sucks!