Ages beyond Equestria: ponies out of time and place

by Paradise Oasis

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, Adventure
Length: 7137

Five Ponies and a Minotaur go on an adventure across the ages!

After a magical accident, five Manehattenites from the Equestrian era are frozen in time, and end up in a new age. With only a lone Unicorn guard to act as their guide, the strangers must band together in a strange land that is not their own. Will they all be able to survive in an uncertain world gone mad?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-11 14:02:57 UTC

Regular Crowd

It's five o'clock on a Thursday, and the city is shutting down from it's regular activities. This is usually a quiet day here in Manehatten,  but that's not saying much for the largest and busiest city in all of Equestria. All of the shops and stores are closing for the day, as the nightclubs, theaters and restaurants of the city's night life come alive.

The ponies are coming home from their jobs, and start making their way towards this evening's activities.  I can see several ponies (And a few other creatures) walking back and forth on the street outside. As the suns begins to set, my regular crowd starts trotting into the cafe for the evening. All of the ususals greet me as they shuffle past the bar.

"Hey Vanilla! How's it going?"

"Yo, Mocha! What's up? Hope you have the decaf on tap tonight!"

"Hey, girlfriend! Like, how's it going? It was, like, a sooo totally a terrible, horrible day!"

They all love coming to my little shop, a sweet little cafe in the basement of an old Manehatten warehouse. The upstairs has been re-purposed into an art studio by my sister Chocolate, so she lets me rent out the basement as a coffee shop. I do quite a decent business in here, attracting the ponies who just want to rest and relax for awhile, instead of getting themselves smashed on hard cider at one of the local bars.

Many of the crowd order their drinks and head to their tables, but a few I know really well have their coffees and lattes at the bar. Take this beige coated earth pony mare over at the end of the table, the one who just ordered a cinnamon coffee. She might always seem to be smiling, but I think those grey eyes hide more sadness than she's letting on.

"Hey Lorelei, enjoying your drink?" I ask her, refilling her streaming cup. "You seem to be all alone over here by yourself."

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine, Mocha." She sighs, shoving her grey and blue steel mane out of her face. "I just... need to be alone and think for awhile, ya know?"

Poor Lore-Lei, she's been hiding her unhappiness for as long as I've known her. Lore emigrated here from some place called Bissful island, and has been living in an old abandoned horsemasterist temple on the edge of the city. She's a very unnerving figure, a sad little pony with a black flower petal and book cutie mark. But I personally think she looks more sad than creepy.

Besides, she's really really good at listening to other pony's problems... even better than me! I think she'd make a good waitress if I ever expanded to daytime hours... if she ever wanted a job, that is!

"Yeah, leave her alone, Vanilla! She, like totally want's to be alone!" Rose Petal declared, down a chocolate milk I had given her. "You should, like. come over here and talk to the rest of us!"

"What, did your alicorn senses tell you that?" I ask the pink unicorn with the purple mane sarcastically.

"Oh no.. It just, like,  totally came to me!" She giggled with an air headed smile.

Rose Petal... a bubbly headed bimbo, who loves to cosplay as a alicorn. This airhead with a butterfly cutie mark actually believes she is an alicorn princess (I personally think she got dropped on her head as a foal), and she'll burst into song at random, and play with fuzzy animals to the point of being sickeningly cute. Sure, she's eternally positive and happy, and she can lift a depressed pony's spirits. But I don't know how anybody puts up with this girl's sugary sweet personality, including Petal herself.

"Must you be so annoyingly positive?" A dark charcoal-colored mare called out from the other end of the bar, glaring at  the alicorn princess. "I swear, if you were any more sugary sweet, you'd give everyone in this place diabetes!"

"Ugh, like, you need to totally drop the negative vibes, girl!" Petal Snorted. "You're spreading around a whole lot of really bad karma! Why don't you try and lighten up a bit?"

The black Pegasus with the attitude and raven cutie mark is Nevermore. She's our resident pessimist, and counterpoint to Petal's blind optimism. From what I gather, she grew up in the everfree forest alone as a filly, shunned because of her weird red glowing eyes. Such an upbringing has made her a bit of a loner, and she only opens her mouth to yell at other ponies who annoy her. Having both her and Petal in the same place at the same time can lead to a bickering session, but I feel it kind of balances a room out.

"Would you to shut yer yappers, and please stop arguing? I can't think with all that noise!" a gruff voice called out from the back of the coffee shop, coming through the back door of my shop, and carrying two boxes of creamer. "Hey boss, the newest shipment of coffee condiments just came in!"

"Thanks Gorri! Just put them behind the bar!" I yell back to the oversized Minotaur, before looking back to my customers. "Pay him no mind, girls. Gorri can just be a bit grumpy sometimes."

Boy, that's an understatement I just made there. That big lug is the building maintenance my sister Chocolate hired, and he helps both her and I out with our businesses.  Sure, he can be a bit of a grouch sometimes, but the oversized red mook is very helpful when you need a large load lifted.  He doesn't bother customers that often, so he's really helpful to have around. Being a Minotaur in a pony society, he kinds of fits in with the rest of us outcasts around here.

So yeah, that's my coffee business in a nutshell, and the kind of thing I deal with on a nightly basis. Not the best crowd one could find in this city, but not the worst either. But the moment all of our lives changed forever.... that crazy medallion my sister bought from a traveling wizard, how it changed our lives forever... now, that is a story you really, really, gotta hear!

My name is Vanilla Mocha, and this is my tale...

Closing hopes

You know, there are some times that I wish I had never left my island home.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I love living here in Equestria. There are so many nice and friendly ponies I've met since I moved to this country. But Manehatten... this place seems so cold, so impersonal. I don't quite fit in with anypony here, so I live in the old church on the edge of town. Ponies come to me when they want my help or advice, and it works out better that way. I don't seek out ponies all that much, and it helps me avoid annoying them. But a lot of ponies do come to seek the aid of Lore-Lei, the mare who understands other ponies's special talents even better than they do.

As I trot down the dark and dusty alleyway behind Vanilla's Kuppa Coffee cafe,  I see Gorri sweeping up after the shop has closed. It's the early morning hours of twilight, and most of us are heading home for a late rest.  I don't feel like dealing with Nevermore or her emo right now, so I just let her trot by without a word. I try to do the same to the happy and bouncy Petal, but she notices me in the shadows right away, and it's only moments before I have a face full of pink pony asking me a thousand questions.

"Lre, omygawsh, I can't believe it's you!" Rose Petal asks me, getting right up into my face. "What're you doing here? Shouldn't you be on your way home? Don't you have a job to go to this afternoon?"

"Hey Rose Petal. No, I'm not going to work today, I got laid off from the therapy center a week ago." I tell her with a sigh, retreating into the back alley so none of the other patrons see me. "My boss told me I didn't have a high enough level of friendship for Equestria, whatever that means."

"Yeah, I know! Like, my boss at the candy store told me the same thing, too! She said I was too energetic, and annoyed the customers. So she was getting rid of  me, and like, getting someone who understands friendship better!" She rolled her eyes. "Like, whatevar!"

While I agree this airhead might be enough to drive customers off, I don't like how 'friendship' focus has overtaken all of Equestria. Ponies who don't quite live up to the ideals of friendship are pushed aside in favor of equines who more fit their ideals.

"I think it's kind of unfair you lost your job, Petal." I tell her with a sigh, as we trot around to the front of the building. "Too many ponies are being treated too poorly in this city. It's a real travesty!"

"I know, right? I mean, how can I be a brainless pink bubble head like my boss accused me! That is like, so unfair!" Petal suddenly looked away. "Oh, my gosh, I just realized my mane is sooo shiny! I'm soooo hawt! I should so totally, like be a model or something!"

I love to help ponies,. by helping them figure out who they are. But the equines of Equestria is such a distant and aloof bunch, not friendly to outsiders who don't fit the preset mold of 'friendly pony' that they all expect. Once again I regret my decision to move to this dreadful place, and were it not for my few friends here, I would most certainly go home.

Sigh, I miss my home of Blissful island, the land of the Magyar ponies. I miss the sweet song of the musician playing his hurdy-grudy in the marketplace, and I miss the sight of the Körtánc dancers dancing in the square.  I miss the taste of Blissful Island Goulash, and the colorful pageants and festivals held at the court of our beloved ruler, Saint Stephen the just, which he opened for all the common ponies to view and experience. Oh, how I miss Blissful Island! Oh, how much I really miss home!

"Oh my, look what we have here!" Nevermore sneered, conning around the building, finally noticing us. "The ditzy alicorn wannabe, and the mopey Magyar! What are the two of you doing back here, waiting until mocha opens up again tomorrow night?"

"Oh look, it's the emo goth pony with no social life." Petal shot back, sneering at the other pony. "Don't you, like, have an afternoon job at your goth-y cosmetics company you work for?"

"I would... except they pulled the plug on my job." She rolled her mascara-laden eyes. "My manager said I wasn't 'friendly' enough, that I was too grumpy and unhappy to make a good sale."

"Wow, these business ponies are, like, totally trying to do away with ponies who don't their perfect image of an Equestrian." Petal noted, rolling her eyes. "We, like, don't fit the mold of the perfect friendly pony."

"I normally don't agree with the bimbo here, but I think there might be something to what she's saying." Nevermore replied, thinking for a moment. "Have you noticed how a lot of the offbeat ponies have been disappearing from all over the city? I've heard rumors they've all been losing their jobs, and being sent away to Dream Valley with the other outcasts."

"Dream Valley? Please don't tell me you believe in such silly urban legends." I sigh again. "But yes, I do agree that Equestria's culture is turning against those ponies who don't except the new definition of 'normal'. And I fear those who don't accept this new way of thinking will soon fall under the Manehatten elite's wrath."

It was just then, when we heard some sobbing coming from inside the cafe, and we all trotted over to the window to see what was the matter. Inside, we saw the sobbing form of Vanilla Mocha, sitting on a stool and crying, while Gorri tried to comfort her.

"I can't believe it! I just can't believe they're shutting my cafe down!" The white unicorn bawled, as Gorri tried to comfort her. "We're doing so well, and I have the highest clientele of any establishment on the city's east side!"

"I'm so sorry, Miss Mocha, it really isn't fair." The oversized Minotaur said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "But when I went down to renew your restaurant license,  they told me your establishment doesn't measure up to the new standards of friendship equality."

"Ugh, those stupid, corrupt pencil pushing ponies are just looking for a reason to get me to cough up more cash on an even more expensive license. Well... well I won't do it! I'll move my cafe to another city in Equestria! I'm not going to be intimidated by a pack of government thugs!"

"I'm afraid you won't get very far doing that, Miss Mocha." Gorri replied with a sigh. "From what I've heard, the other cities in this kingdom are falling prey to the same corruption."

And as we continue to watch, I begin to realize that the Minotaur might actually be right. There might actually be no place for ponies in Equestria like us anymore.

I'm really  starting to wish I had never come to Equestria at all....

An Amazing Departure

Ohmygosh, I sooo can't believe something this awesome is happening! Everything, like, seemed to be going downhill, when the most amazing, awesomest, and coolest thing ever happened  to me and my friends happened just today. I mean, everything looked so down when we found out Vanilla's place was closing. Who woulda thunk our lives would change this much so quickly, huh?

Oh yeah, my name is Rose Petal, and I'm Manehatten's only resident princess and alicorn. What? Don't give me that look, I really am an alicorn! I know you can't see me wings or anything, but that's because only a pure-hearted pony can see them. See, I'm the great-granddaughter of Princess Twilight Sparkle, and a spell was cast when I was a baby to prevent me from being taken by bad ponies, or-

Hey, don't look at me so skeptically! I am not some deluded alicorn fan girl! I really am a princess! Look, I've been a fan of the alicorns ever since I was, like, a little filly~ I was the founder and president of the alicorn fan club as a foal, and own each and every one of the Equestrian Princess trading cards! And I train myself every day to get up in the morning, and sing like a princess each and every day. Nobody knows more about the royal alicorns like I do, totally!

Anyway, me and my friends  from the cafe... we just all like, totally found out that we got the boot from our jobs and homes and lives. I'm, like, totally shocked Manehatten doesn't want me around anymore- I mean, I grew up in this city, wouldn't they want to keep their alicorn Princess around? Anyway, Nevermore, Lore-Lei and I have decided to pack and leave Manehatten together. But first, we like, gotta so totally get all of our stuff packed.

"Hey Nevermore, think you could down here, and give me a hoof with these trunks?" I ask my buddy, whose carrying out a few of my bags from my old apartment. "I, like, promised my landlord I'd be out by noon, and we've only got twenty more minutes."

"Hey, don't you start telling me off, your highness'." The black Pegasus snaps back, loading the bags onto the strange machine, then flapping over to face Lore-Lei. "Say Lore, where the heck did you find this weird horseless carriage?"

"Oh, I bought it off of an old pair of brothers who were retiring from being traveling salesponies." Lore replied, climbing up into the driver's seat. ""They called it the super speedy-something-or-another, seemed really glad to get rid of the thing."

"Well, as long as thing can get us to wherever we're going in one piece, I'll be happy."  Nevermore grumbled, shuffling around the bags on the back. "I  want to get as far away from this elitist city and it's 'new policies' as possible."

"Like wow, do you have to be so totally, like, down on everything?" I scolded the mean old grump, hopping up onto the passenger seat of the vehicle.  "It would be nice if you had a kind word for everypony, instead of, you know, being so mean to them they want to run away crying!"

"Shut up, you blasted valley girl bubble head!" Nevermore snapped at me, giving a glare that would scare Princess Luna. "You have no idea why I'm so grumpy! You don't know a damn thing about me!"

"I don't think anyone ever asked you about your past, little miss emo." A familiar white unicorn snapped at her, as she came trotting up behind us. "The last thing we need on this trip is some weepy and mopey pony whinging about her emotionally tragic backstory."

"Vanilla? You? Since when are you joining us on this little trip?" Nevermore growled, rolling her eye at the sight of Manehatten's most awesomest coffee mare. "And what the heck are you coming along, anyway? I'm sure you'll get your goofy little coffee shop up and running again!"

"I invited her along, Never." Lore replied, as the white unicorn loaded her bags onto the vehicle. "She could use a change of scenery, as could we all."

"I'll say, but that still leaves me with one question." Lore-Lei added, as Vanilla jumped up on the seat beside us. "Where the heck are we supposed to go from here?"

"Well, we could try Vanhoover," Vanilla suggested. "I've heard they don't have many coffee shops there."

"I think we should go to Hollow Shades." Nevermore suggested, flexing her wings. "I've heard it's all dark and creepy and awesome there."

"Oh! Oh! Why don't we go to Applewood!" I squealed in delight, wanting to put my two cents in. "Maybe we could become movie stars!"

"Right, like that's going to happen!" Nevermore snapped at me again, shaking her head. "Try to think of something a little more realistic, bubble brain!"

"Hey, why don't we all just go to Las Pegasus?" Lore-Lei asked Jokingly, trying to, like, diffuse our antagonism with some humor. "Then we can all go work in the casinos, and wear those bunny outfits with the fishnets!"

All of us, like, totally turned red at her suggestion, but were distracted when Gorri came up to the car. He, had a majorly bummed look on his face, and was obviously unhappy to see his employer Vanilla go.

"Here are the last of your bags, Miss Mocha!" The big red Minotaur sobbed. "A-and I packed you a few extra sweaters, in case it gets cold wherever you're going!"

"Awww, thanks, you big lug!" Vanilla reached out, hugging  the big monster. "Now, you be sure and take good care of my sister Chocolate, okay?"

"I shall try, Miss Mocha." Gorri sighed. "Though I don't know how long the city officials will let her operate her art gallery."

"So, what will you do Gorri, now that Vanilla's shops, like, gone?" I ask him, curious about the poor Minotaur. "You can't just sped all of your time working for her sister."

"Oh, I suppose I'll just get a job in one of the local factories or warehouses." He flexed his muscles, kissing the right pectoral. "There's always a place for a big, strong Minotaur here in Equestria."

"Well, we're sure going to miss you, you big mook!" Nevermore declared, wiping a tear away from her eye with her wing. "Hey, would you do us a favor, and fill up the fuel tank?"

"Sure, I'd be glad to!" He declared eagerly, pulling a large jug of liquid off the truck, and pouring it into the gas tank. "Anything I can do to help, considering the circumstances!"

"Ummm, wait, Gorri?" Vanilla asked him, her voice sounding suddenly worried. "Please don't tell me you didn't use the bottle that says 'magic rocket sauce'!"

"Why yes, Miss Mocha, that's exactly what I used." He replied, tossing the empty jug aside, and screwing the gas cap back on. "Why, is there something wrong with that?"

"Oh, no! Gorri, that's not fuel! That's a magic high powered caffeine mix for my coffee!" Vanilla wailed. "Lore, wait! Don't start the-"

KABOOM! Lore-Lei turned the key, and the engine suddenly exploded. An orange flame shot out of the back of the Super Speedy, and it blasted off, racing forward at a totally awesome speed! Gorri grabbed the car's side as it took off, hanging on for dear life.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" We girls are screamed, clinging to each other as the wold around us became a blur.

"Miss Mocha! I didn't know!" Gorri wailed, barely clinging to the back of the car. "I'm so sorrrrryyyy!"

His voice was lost on the wind, as the car raced faster and faster. The world around us seemed to disappear, as we seemed to disappear into a weird, tunnel-like portal.  I don't know where this crazy car is gonna take us, but I so totally know it's going to be, like, a really really wild ride!

Strangers in a very Strange land!

Everything... sucks.

You suck, I suck, vacuum cleaners suck... everything is so meaningless and pointless and wasted, and... why am I even traveling with this wacky band of losers again? Ohhhh, that's right, I lost my cozy little job in Manehatten at the most awesome Gothic makeup, leather, and corset shop, due to the city's crappy new polices on ponies that 'don't self-identify as friend ponies' or some such mule dookie. My traveling companions and I here are the last few of a generation of ponies who believe we were born the kind of friends we were meant to be, and so we were ostracized and driven out by the new order. But that's about all I have in common with this airheads, whom I am currently racing along with  in a strange, outy-of-control vehicle.

"Lore, can't you slow this thing down?!" Vanilla asked, her mane whipping about wildly. "Try taking your hoof off the gas!"

"I did! It just keeps moving forward!" The little Oriental earth pony from Blissful island replied. "I guess we're just going to have to wait until the fuel runs out!"

Stupid, stupid morons!  How could they just let that big lunkhead put all that magic juice into the tank without checking it first? Now we're traveling along in the tunnel of weird, with light and sounds and colors all around us that make this feel like some bad loco weed trip. Then again, I'd rather be here with these wierdoes than back in Manehatten with my crappy family and even crappier past. I never really got along with other ponies... and they never really got along with me.

"Somepony help me! I-I can't hold on!" Gorri screams behind me, his hand slipping from the car. "I'm losing my grip!"

I'm about to go back and help the big bruiser, when the pink singing princess steps in to give him a hoof.

"Got you, mister Gorri!" Rose Petal exclaims cheerfully, using her magic and pulling him back up onto the car. "Gee, you really ought to be more careful!"

"Thank you, Miss Petal!" He replies with a smile. "Gorri truly believes that you are a life saver!"

Well, at least he's all right. I don't like any other pony, but that doesn't mean I want to see anypony else get killed. Look, I might seem like nothing more than an angry goth mare with with too much makeup and creepy eyes that glow red in the dark, but there's much more to it than that. Most ponies think these eyes of mine are lenses or a spell of some kind, but the truth is these unusual eyes of mine are very, very real. They made other filly and colts make fun of me when I was a foal, and isolated me from everypony else.

Friends? Yeah, who wants to be friends with a glowing-eyed monster? And my teen years were even worse; imagine trying to keep a boyfriend when your eyes started to glow like carriage headlights on the first date? Yeah, lets just say I don't play well with other ponies.  I jumped into the whole goth thing because it was a subculture full of outcasts like me who just didn't fit in. I was still isolated and alone though... but I actually kind of like it that way.

It was at that moment that the car began to sputter and slow down, and the weird tunnel of flashing colors and lights seemed to \fade away around us. The horseless carriage slowed to a gentle roll, and Lore-Lei was able to bring it to a stop with ease.

"Oh, thank Celestia! It's finally over!" Vanilla exclaimed, a sigh of relief escaping her lips. "That magic fuel finally ran out."

"I'm just glad I was able to guide us out of their safely. "Lore-lei added, turning to face all of us who were in the back seat. "Is everpony all right?"

"Yeah, I'm okay!" Rose Petal answered cheerfully, sitting up in her seat. "That was a whole lot of fun! Lets do it again!"

"Ugh, let's not!" I replied in a nauseated tone, putting a hoof to my mouth. Leaning over the left side of the car, I proceeded to empty the contents of my stomach all over the ground below. "BARRRFFFFF!"

"Miss Mocha, Gorri is so sorry!" The Minotaur leaned forward, apologizing to Vanilla plaintively. "I didn't mean to launch you and your friends into such a dangerous situation!"

"It's okay Gorri, we're all alive!" Vanilla smiled at him. "I'm just sorry you ended up coming along with us here. Wherever... here.. is..."

Vanilla's voice trailed off, as she stared around at her surroundings in wonder. We all start looking around at our surrounings, and that's when we discovered it.

Pink... everywhere pink. Pink houses, pink stores, pink street lamps, and a giant pink castle. Red ribbons were tied on every tree and fence post, and every sign was feminine and heart shaped. It looked like the girl's toy aisle of a manehatten department store threw up over this whole town.

"Ohhh, how pretty!" Vanilla exclaimed. "I like their sense of style here!"

"A bit garish, but it is rather adorable." Lore-Lei giggled. "I could grow to like it here!"

"Ohmygosh, this place is so CUTE! EEEEEEEEEE!"  Rose Petal squeed loudly, hopping around excitedly. "We've died and gone to heaven!"

No, Rose, this isn't heaven. With all this pink, we took that trippy tunnel to the ninth layer of Tartaus, and there is no way back to the world of sanity, especially with all of our magic fuel gone.

"Yeach, this place is way to girly!" Gorri agreed with me, before looking over at the rest of us. "Hey, what's wrong with you girls?"

It was at that moment, that Vanilla, Lore-Lei, Rose, and myself all grabbed our heads in pain.  It was like something was going a bit fuzzy in our heads, messing around and putting things back together all weird.  Finally we all opened our eyes.. and oh boy, what a shock we got!

"Aieeee! Vanilla! You've got little hearts in your eyes!" Lore-Lei exclaimed in terror. "They just appeared there all of a sudden!"

"Eeek! You've got them, too!" Vanilla exclaimed pointing a hoof back towards the other pony's eyes. "We've all got them!"

"EEEEEE! SO CUTE!" Rose Petal squealed in delight, looking at her reflection in a puddle. "We all got prettier.. well, except for mister Gorri."

"I'd rather not have freaky appearing mini-hearts in my eyes, thank you very much. "He then looked over towards me. "Even Miss Nevermore has them now, as well."

At his words, I looked over into a nearby puddle with dread, and sure enough, two read hearts were floating in the middle of my irises. They didn't impede my vision at all, but they were clearly visible for all to see. Like the others, I had been thoroughly girlified by this place, And it was then I was certain we had entered the ninth layer of Tartarus.

As I said, everything Sucks!

New Neighhhhbors!

There are many time's in Gorri's life that Gorri wishes he hadn't been so dumb.

This is one of them.

"So, where do you think we are?" Lore-Lei  asked, looking around at the pink nightmare all around us. "It doesn't look like any towen I've seen in a travel book."

"It doesn't look like any town you'd ever seen anywhere!" Miss Mocha agreed, staring at her surroundings in disbelief. "It feels like one of those little kiddie play lands you used to find in old-time amusement parks."

The girls have quickly recovered from their shock of finding their anatomies altered, and had begun to question their surroundings, as well as our whereabouts. Looking around in a panic, the stressed out Nevermore finally turned and pointed an angry hoof at me.

"Damn you Gorri, this is all your fault!" The infuriated Pegasus yelled at me. "If you hadn't put that magic fuel into the tank, none of this would have ever happened!"

"Now stop being so mean to mister Gorri, you big bully!" Rose Petal yelled at her, coming to my defense. "How was he supposed to know the car would go crazy, and we'd end up here?"

I appreciate her defending me... but Nevermore is right. I never should have just dumped that stuff into the machine's engine, without reading the label and consulting with Miss Mocha first. This is some reward I gave to the mare who gave an unemployed Minotaur a chance, giving him a job sweeping the floors of her cafe and her sister's art studio. I was nobody who had come to  Manehatten with only a few bits in my pocket, and really big dreams. But no one would give me so much as a job scrubbing out bathrooms. But the Mocha sisters were the only ponies who were nice to me, and this foul-up is how I repay them!

"Hey everpony, look!" Vanilla pointed a hoof out of the car. "It looks like the natives have taken interest in our arrival!"

It was then that Gorri noticed several ponies emerging from their houses, looking around and staring at our odd little group curiously. After a few of them talked among themselves for several minutes, a pink one with balloons for a cutie mark came trotting up to our motorized wagon.

"Hello there, everybody!" She greeted us warmly, a big smile on her face. "My name's Pinkie Pie, and I'd like to welcome all of you to Ponyville!"

"Wait.. Pinkie Pie? Ponyville?" Nevermore stuttered in disbelief. "B-but I thought... Great Celestia, this can't be happening!"

"Keep it down, Nevermore. Let me handle this." Lore-Lei walked up to the new arrival. "Hello there, Miss Pie. It's a pleasure to meet you. Did you say we were in Ponyville?"

"That's right, Ponyville! The kindest and friendliest town in all of the land!" the pink pony declared, as two of her friends trotted up. "And these are my friends, Rainbow Dash and Sparkleworks!"

"Hello there, darlings! It's so wonderful to meet you all!" She circled our whole group, looking over all of them except for me. "Oh, my word! You could certainly use some new outfits, Darlings! And I'm just the pony to help you with that!"

"You're Rainbow Dash?! Oh wow, you are totally NOT what I was expecting!" Rose Petal's grin suddenly spread to twice as wide as it already was. "You're three times better! I'd love to go back to your dress shop with you for a new outfit!"

Without a word to me or her fellow mares, Rose Petal immediately followed the blue earth pony away from our group. The other mare spoke up, greeting us with an energetic wave of her hoof.

"Oh hi there! My name is Sparkleworks! I'm the towns repair pony, I fix stuff all over Ponyville." She slipped on a pink construction helmet with a butterfly painted on the front and a red bow on the back. "If you need you need an appliance fixed or a door or window repaired, I'm your pony!"

"Great, then maybe you could help us to get this jalopy fixed." Lore-lei commented, pointing a hoof back towards the horseless carriage. "It was knocking around a lot when it started to run out of fuel, and I think that stuff was so strong, it might have damaged the engine."

"Wow, that's a sweet looking car!" Sparkleworks declared, as she motioned for one of the other ponies to come and help her. "Scooter Sprite! Sparklesnap! Come and give me a hoof, would you?"

The two other ponies immediately got behind the 'car', as she called it, and together they all pushed it away to some kind of garage on the other side of town. Lore-Lei trotted after them, before turning back to face us.

"I'll stay with the machine until it gets fixed, then I'll come and tell you!" She waved, before turning and trotting away. "See you later, girls!"

I was about to point out I that wasn't a girl like the rest of them, when another pink mare with a mane the color of toothpaste came galloping up to us. She circled around Miss Mocha a few times, staring at her cutie mark, before opening her mouth, and having everything pour out.

"Ohmygosh! Are you a cafe mare?! You do have that look about you, and your mane smells just like coffee!  My name's Cotton Candy, and I run the town's coffee shop, the Cotton Candy Cafe! It's named after me, of course, but you probably already figured that out." Cotton Candy giggled. "Wow, if you're a coffee mare, how'd you like to come and work at my shop? I need a mare to handle the night shift- cause, you know, I can't stay up both all day and all night!"

"My name's Vanilla Mocha, yes I'm a Coffee mare, and sure I'd love to come to work for you!" Miss Mocha replied quickly, barely able to get a word in edgewise. "By all means, lead the way!"

The two ponies trotted away, leaving Nevermore and myself simply standing there by ourselves.

"But Miss Mocha... everyone.. shouldn't we try to stay together?" I sigh, rubbing my temples to try and get of my migraine. "Well Nevermore, I guess it's just you and me now."

"Huh? Oh no, I don't do that friendship thing!" The goth pony declared, flapping her wings and flying away. "Being around you loseres has messed my life up enough, I'm outta here!"

And so the red eyed pony flew away, leaving me all by myself.

*Sigh* What is it with these ponies, have they no common sense? Do they have a pathological need to make friends with everything that moves? I can't wait for they day one of them tries to make friends with a predator, and ends up as an afternoon snack. Why can't they be more sensible, like we Minotaurs, or the griffons, or the trolls? We all understand that gold, status, and wealth are the most important things in the world... you don't see any of us of the monster races making friends with folks we just met. I expected more common sense out of Miss Mocha.

With a sigh, I sit down on one of the town's park benches, and contemplate this latest bout of my misfortune.  My father warned me not to get involved with ponies, but I just HAD to go to Equestria, just HAD to go to Manehatten. And now here I am, stuck in this pink nightmare land without a friend in the world. It what I get for wasting my time with a bunch of frivolous useless pony females and their useless, girly ways. I swear there is something miswired in their feminine brains, that's the only reason I can offer for the way they ran off gossiping with strangers after everything that's happened.

I still cant believe this has all happened to Gorri!

"Hey there, you're looking mighty glum." A voice came from behind me, as I head a set of four hooves come trotting up. "Ah reckon y'all could use some cheerin' up!"

l turn to face her, and see a red mare with a green apple cutie mark looking at me curiously.

"Lady, you don't know the half of it." With another sigh, I just turn back, and slump in my seat.

Looking back

"Bronze, are you in here?" The commander asked, walking into the sentry's quarters. "Private Bronze Shield, present yourself at once!"

Everything was silent for a moment,  before a tired unicorn on one of the bunks pulled a sheet off of his head, and saluted.

"Yes, sir, right here, sir!" Bronze jumped up out of bed, trotting after his commanding officer nervously. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sleep in past morning roll call again!"

"Well, because you did, you missed breakfast!"   The commander snapped. "Now, hurry up, and get out there with the other grunts for morning exercises, on the double!"

Bronze Shield did not need to be told twice, as he galloped down the hallway at top speed.  It didn't seen fair that the brown stallion with the black mane seemed to be the target of so much bad luck, but seemed to be the poor unicorn's lot in life. Ever since he had been a foal, Bronze had wanted to serve in the Fort Rainbow Dash Hoplite mage corps ever since he was a colt- he was born with a bronze shield and sword cutie mark, after all. But it was hard for a pony from one of the Six remaining Alicorn families in Ponyland to get ahead in the horsemasterist establishment, and Bronze always found himself always having to work twice as hard to prove himself as the other cadets.

"Oh, shoot, late! I am so late!"  He called out galloping towards the training fields at top speed, jumping past stairways and doors to reach his goal faster. "The captain is going to have my head for not being in line on time!"

As he was barreling down past the Fort Dash library, a soft, feminine voice called out to him.

"Bronze, is that you?" The petite white Pegasus called out, flapping out to greet him, with a book in hoof. "I have the book on Ponyville you wanted, it just came in!"

"Oh, hey Paradise..." Bronze gulped nervously, taking a step backward. The sight of this female- or any female, for that matter- only served to make Private Shield nervous. For though the unicorn private could face any foe on the battlefield without fear, dealing with a mare made this proud warrior tremble in fear. "Couldn't it wait until later? I-I kinda gotta get to my training..."

"Oh, nonsense! I'll make sure things are clear with your commanding officer, I'm sure he'll understand!" Paradise opened the book, shoving the book into his face. "I'm sure you're really gonna love this, it's a story about the Ponyville amusement park I've never read before!" Paradise told him excitedly. "See, it talks about a Mare named Vanilla Mocha, who arrived in Ponyville with all of her friends arrived in town in a crazy magic car."

"Well, I'm not sure I want to-" Bronze's ears perked up. "Wait, Vanilla Mocha? Her friends? Ponyville?"

"Yeah, it's a really great comedy story, about a bunch of Equestrian ponies and a minotaur who accidentally  end up in Ponyville, and try to fit in." Paradise explained. "It's got a goth, a perky airhead, an emotional mare, and Vanilla who each try to find their place in Ponyville society. But the loyal minotaur friend tries to help out, and makes everything worse, and puts the entire village in danger!" She looked at the cover again, before handing it over. "It's a really great work of fiction, and I'm sure you'll enjoy it!"

"Thanks, Paradise, but..." Bronze looked the booked over. "I'm not so sure this is entirely a work of fiction. Paradise I actually know of  a mare named Vanilla Mocha in Bright Valley. She just so happens to run a coffee shop there."

"Really? That's odd. Vanilla Just so happens to  be coffee mare in the book, as well." Paradise replied thoughtfully. "Hmmm, now that I think about it, I also know a mare who is supposed to just be a character in the books; a pony named Lore-Lei, who lives over in Hoofkaido, and counsels ponies on what the cutie mark they were born with means. Strange, isn't it?"

"Strange?! My good Paradise, we just discovered that two characters out of a picture book just so happen to be real-I'd say this is a tad more bizarre than 'strange'." Bronze replied incredulously. "I really think we should investigate this, and see if there is any connection between the ponies in the story, and the ones in regular life."

"Bronze, a lot of Ponies from the past and present have the same names, some even have the same coat color and cutie mark." Paradise replied. "Besides, the author might've known the two mares, and decided to stick them into the story. It's no big mystery that needs going over; some things have a very simple explanation."

"Maybe so, but I'm still going to have a look into this whole thing." Bronze noted, levitating the book up, and opening the first few pages to read. "Anyway, thanks for the book, Paradise, I promise I'll have it back to the library within a week."

"Don't worry about it Bronze, I'm happy to get ponies the books they love, and I know you love historical fiction from the Equestrian era!" Paradise declared, trotting out the door. "Anyway, I'm off to Princess Petal beauty spa. Be sure to shut off the light and lock the door when you're done reading!"

"Will do!" He called back, sitting down at one of the tables to read, and forgetting his morning exercises with his hoplite unit. Opening to a random page, he started to read the text.

"Most of the ponies who had come along on this journey were having a fine time adjusting, but the one mare who was having a terrible time of it was Nevermore." bronze read aloud, without thinking. "For the happy and Cheery town of Ponyville was more than the sarcastic little mare with the red eyes could bear..."