Rainbow Six: Rainbow Six

by totallynotabrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Other, Crossover, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1155

Rainbow, the secretive NATO anti-terrorist task force, is interested in recruiting some new talent. Princess Celestia sends them six of her best.

Equestria has recently joined NATO. There are a lot of countries and terrorist organizations unhappy about it, but one group sees opportunity.

Rainbow, the secretive NATO anti-terrorist task force, is interested in recruiting some new talent. Princess Celestia sends them six of her best.

A comedy

Published 2016-05-06 13:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-06 13:10:02 UTC

Rainbow Six: Rainbow Six

The newspaper was going the way of the dodo, but John Clark resisted as fiercely as he could.

He shook his head and got up from his desk, but paused to take one last look at the headline.

"Equestria becomes full member of NATO," he muttered aloud.

The door opened to reveal Alistair Stanley, Clark’s deputy. He spotted the paper. "I saw the BBC had a piece on the telly about that."

"It's a hell of a thing," Clark replied. He glanced at his watch. "So when are they arriving?"

"Mrs. Foorgate said nine," Stanley said. "I arranged to have the team leaders put them through their paces.”

"Equestrian puns already, Alistair?"

"Have to watch what I say in these politically correct times." Stanley chuckled.

Alice Foorgate came in with coffee for Clark and tea for Stanley. "Here you are, gentlemen."

"So what do you think about the ponies?" Clark asked. He tasted the coffee. Alice was a very good secretary.

"Charming, I'm sure," she replied. "I look forward to meeting them."

"Oh, they're probably a bunch of grizzled roughnecks like us," Clark said. He smiled. "Or as much as magical ponies can be."

"Mhm," Stanley agreed through his tea. "Princess Celestia said she was sending her best."

"Everything is arranged for the visit," Alice said. "Mr. Covington and Mr. Chavez are waiting downstairs."

The two of them thanked her for the update and left the office to meet up with the Alpha and Bravo team leaders.

"Oi, it's the brass," said Peter Covington, elbowing Ding Chavez as Clark and Stanley entered the conference room.

"Well yeah, of course they're here and eager to begin. Mr. C loves ponies," Chavez replied. "I sure get the warm fuzzies."

"Excellent," Stanley said, laughing along.

Lame joke it may have been, but Ding Chavez was Clark's son-in-law and got a pass. It helped that he was a damn fine solider.

Clark didn't even mind. It did feel good that magical ponies had appeared, took one look at Earth, and decided to join The West.

"On that note, what do we have planned?" Stanley asked.

"Mike and the boys are going to supervise them in the combat course," Covington replied.

"Equestrians can fly and use magic," Clark said. "What's the plan for that?"

"Sergeant Johnson is bringing his knowledge of horses," said Chavez. "Maybe there's something we can use to hobble them."

"Plus the crash course we got on Equestria," added Covington. "More than testing suitability of these candidates, I'd like to learn more."

"Right." Clark nodded. He checked his watch. "They should be arriving soon. Colonel Malloy was bringing them in. Let's go."

In Rainbow's compound, a convenient helicopter pad waited to receive the MH-60 Knighthawk that was presently coming in for a landing.

None of them saw the door on the opposite side of the helo slide open, so it was a surprise to see a blue pony cannonball out of it.

"God-" Chavez started, before coming up short. The pony had wings.

And she sure knew how to use them. After a brief loop, she came to rest in front of them. She saluted. "Rainbow Dash, reporting for duty!"

"Not like that you aren't," Clark corrected. "Have you ever been sucked into an engine? Because that's what almost happened."

Deflating, Rainbow Dash started to protest as the helicopter finished landing and the other five ponies got out.

"All right, who's in charge here?" exclaimed a pink pony, bounding over. "Because I'm going to make you a cake!"

"Later," Clark said, the only reply he could come up with on short notice. He was not a man who was easily surprised, but the pink one had.

"Ladies, calm down," said the purple pony. To Clark, she said, "I am Twilight Sparkle. We're here to represent Equestria at Rainbow."

"That'll be a little confusing," said the orange pony with a hat. "Rainbow Dash and Rainbow NATO."

"Heh, well we know which one's cooler," said Rainbow.

"Insults straight to the face," muttered Chavez.

"Not terribly couth, is she?" replied the white pony. "I'm Rarity, by the way. Forgive Rainbow, she's rather hard-charging."

"Good," said Stanley. "All of you must be highly motivated to find a place here. We each represent the best of our respective countries."

"So when do we begin?" asked Twilight Sparkle.

"When are you ready?" asked Clark.

"Any answer besides 'immediately' probably wouldn't please you," said Twilight Sparkle. "So we're ready now."

"Really?" asked Covington. "Don't you have any gear?"

"My, for what?" said Rarity.

All the pictures Clark had ever seen of ponies indicated that they wore minimal clothing. Did that also apply to combat equipment?

"Nevermind," said Chavez. "If you think you're good to go, we'll begin." It was on them if they hadn't come prepared.

Despite their lack of gear and apparent unconcern, the ponies were amiable and followed the men over to the training facility.

Greeting them was Master Chief Mike Chin from Covington's team. "Good to meet you ladies. The training course is set up. Good luck."

Rainbow Dash said, "Bring it on! We're the best and we'll ace anything you can throw at us."

Extremely presumptive of them, Clark thought. Then again, he wasn't leader of Rainbow by being brash. He decided to wait and see.

Entering the facility, Chin gestured to the setup. "We have several simulated buildings here. Take out the threats, not the hostages."

"No problem," said Twilight. "I'm sure we can do this. We'll do our best. Just say when."

"When," Chavez blurted.

It took a fraction of a second to sink in, but suddenly the ponies were gone in a blur.

Not three seconds later, Rainbow Dash shouted "Clear!" She and the others came back to the starting line.

"There's no way," Covington muttered.

"Eh, boss?" called Chin from the monitoring setup. "They hit it perfectly. I can barely make it out through the magic sparkles, but well..."

"Roll it back," Clark ordered, walking over to the recording booth. Sure enough, every terrorist target had been hit, and nearly instantly.

"What in the world..." muttered Stanley. "Well, Princess Celestia did say you lot were the best."

Rarity said, "Rainbow's speed, Applejack's breaching strength, and mine and Twilight's magic make for the perfect combination."

"And what about the other two?" Covington asked, pointing to the final two ponies she hadn't mentioned.

"Pretty sure Fluttershy's just here in case somebody gets hurt," said Pinkie Pie. "As for me, I made you a cake while the rest were busy."

"Uh...how?" Clark said, marveling at free cake, on top of the team's performance. "Don't get me wrong, I'm more than impressed."

"Psh, if you think that's impressive," said Pinkie, cutting slices of cake for everyone, "go back and look at the first letter of every line."

Author's Note

I'm not even sorry, even though this is basically ShadowFall's fault for enabling me.