Ever since I first met you; I knew you were the mare for me. You were the one who helped me get my cutie mark after all. Without you, Applebloom, I don’t think I could of had the courage to step up and actually take the stage for my own. I would of stayed just a sad little colt who couldn’t work up the courage to do what was was necessary. You inspired me to dance for the whole world to see. You came into my life and our little class and you made me the stallion I am today.
Very little doubt is in my mind that we are meant to be together. I know you do not believe that. I know you seem to think that we are just friends and there can’t be anything more than that between us. That is what you tell your friends. That is what you tell your friends. That is even what you told me. You even laughed when you said it. You laughed like it wasn’t even a possibility. Why did you laugh at that Applebloom?
Every night I am lost in dreams about you. You’ve consumed me. You’ve consumed me and you don’t even know it. Every award I’ve ever received feels hollow next to the idea of having you all to myself. The world dares not to move when we dance together. When I twirl you with my hoof on stage before those ever growing crowds I just want to make them disappear. I don’t care for the spotlight anymore. I don’t care for the fame. All I want is to see you dance in my forelegs forever. Yet you won’t dance with me unless we are at a party, or at a show, or any other place that is crowded with ponies. You think I’m just being silly when I want to do that alone with you. You think I’m not being serious.
Really think about what you are doing to me Applebloom. You think you have to go out with your friends, these “crusaders” and take up all your time with them even when you’ve long since grown into a beautiful mare. I watch you out with them all the time, dealing with all these “cutie mark problems” that draw your attention away from our dance lessons. That draw your attention away from me. Why won’t you pay attention to me the way I do you Applebloom? Is Tender Taps just not good enough for the crusader? Am I just a joke to you? I know you can feel me there when I watch you. You always look over your shoulder and try to spy where that feeling is coming from.
Yet you never notice me in the shadows. You never notice me when I’m on your farm staring up at your window, even as the rain is pouring down on me. Can’t you see how devoted I am too you? Can’t you tell who leaves those roses at your door? Why have you never even thought it was me after all this time? We’ve been dancing together for years and you still can’t seem to understand that you should be mine.
Before you came into my life I was just a normal pony. My only driving force in life was dance. My only reason for continuing on this floating hunk of rock was moving my hooves in tune with the music of my heart. You are my music now. My hooves only move for you now.
Really think about what you are making me do here. I can’t keep living like this without you noticing what you mean to me. I can’t keep having my heart brushed aside by your laughter. You think I’m joking. You think I’m a joke.
Existing without your love has been so painful. All you want is to be friends. All you want is to look at me from a distance, never truly seeing me for what I am. I see you for who you are Applebloom. I can’t believe for a second that you are doing this on accident. You are a smart mare. You must know what I think about you. It’s not like I’m even trying to hide it.
At least I know your friends sure are aware of what I feel about you. That bitch daredevil Scootaloo won’t let me get near you. She threatens me to stay away from you. She thinks I’m a freak. Maybe I am; but that doesn’t change the fact that we are meant to be together. You don’t heed her warnings anymore than I do. You laugh her off and say I’m harmless, that “I’m just Tender Taps” after all. Like saying that alone means that I’m not worth being afraid of. That I’m not worth loving.
Then there is your family. Your sister has had her eyes on me ever since she found me on the farm watching you. I managed to pass it off like I was coming to visit, and you were happy to accept my visit with open hooves. Yet you just accepted me as a friend. They don’t trust me like you do. They talk to you about me. They warn you that I’m not “right in the head” and that I’m getting a “might bit creepy.”
How would she know what love looks like anyway. She’s still single after all these years. She just wants to keep you loveless and alone like she is.
You should not waste your legs on those worthless trees like your sister. Your legs were made for dancing. I helped form them for you over the years. We’ve partnered so many times. We’ve danced so many dances together.
Our bodies move as one when we are on stage. We speak the same language with our movement. Each and every practiced step is a testament to how perfect we are for each other. Perfect strangers stare at us in wonder when we sway in the spotlight. You’ve turned from that filly whom knocked over an entire classroom with your four left hooves to a brilliant performer that captivates every eye that is upon you. Just like you captivated mine.
Underneath it all I know you love me back. You can’t see it now, but maybe you will after I am gone. I’ve done everything I could to break through to you. Every time you think I’m just being silly little Tender Taps.
This may seem like an extreme move to you now. I know it scares me to do such a thing, but I have to make you see how much you meant to me. I just can’t live in a world where you can’t see my devotion to you.
After you find this, look inside the locked chest beneath my chair. It has everything I’ve ever collected from you. Snips of your hair, articles of clothing, pens you’ve touched, gum you’ve chewed, it’s all there. Sometimes you’ve even wondered out loud where some of this went. Sometimes you almost caught me taking some of it. Yet you never suspected a thing after all this time, have you? This is all news to you now, right?
Killing myself will be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do for you my love. Yet I have to do it. There is no other way to make you see what you mean to me. There is no other way I could make your heart mine that wouldn’t result in me hurting you or your friends. I’ve thought about kidnapping you. I’ve thought about killing everyone around you just to make you mine, but it all just ends with you hating me. I don’t want you to hate me. I want you to be mine.
Even though I will be dead I won’t be gone though. I’m sure you are curious what that pentagram on the ground is and why those symbols are written in my blood. It's my final testament to you my dear Applebloom. It's the epitaph that will transcribe my love for you forever more.
Anything you or anyone else could of done to stop this ritual has long since past. While I may not be a Unicorn, this kind of spell does not require a horn. All it requires is the blood and life of the one who is to be sacrificed.
Now I am with you forever. I’m probably hovering over your shoulder right now as you read this. I’ll be watching you wherever you go now. That is why I’ve collected so many things that belong to you, you see? Now that I’ve bonded to your soul I can be with you forever. I’m so scared as I write this but it has to be done. Can’t you see that?
Don’t listen to them when they tell you I was crazy. Don’t listen to them when they tell you my soul is gone and that I’m not with you any longer. I’m going to be there to dance with you always. I’m going to be there with you and you are going to know how much I loved you.
Everything has been planned out. I’ve made my peace with this decision. Nopony will be able to keep you from me anymore. Not Applejack, not Big Mac, not Scootaloo; How would they stop a poltergeist anyway?
Very soon I will be gone from this body. As I’m writing this I’ve already made the preparations. Soon I will be able to watch your every single breathe without the need for sleep or food. You will be my one focus in my afterlife from this point forward.
Every step you take will have me with you now. If you try to find love with another other than me you will find that they won’t be able to stay near you. Their lives will become a living hell. They will meet with unfortunate accidents. They will be cursed. I do this for you because you only need one pony in your life. That pony is me.
Right now I know you are probably scared. I know this must seem confusing for you, especially since we just won that dance contest together. I wish this could have been done another way. I wish you had just loved me. I wish you would have just accepted that you belonged to me while I was still alive.
You don’t need to fear me though. I would never hurt you. Not if you don’t betray me. As long as you remain faithful to me forevermore I will be your guardian and your protector. Nothing shall take you away from me.
Maybe when your life ends you can use that ritual to come and be with me as well? We can commune as spirits in this forsaken world together, dancing to the tunes that only us ethereal beings can truly hear.
Over the years you will grow to love me back. I know you will. Showing this kind of devotion towards you will make you finally see how much you mean to me. I vow to you that I will never leave your side, that not even death shall do us part.
Vows are meant to be kept. That is why we make them. You made a vow to me as well. You made that vow the second you laid eyes on me and helped me all those years ago. Please do not break that vow.
Even as my mouth quivers and my hooves shake as I write this; I know I am doing the right thing. I am doing all of this for you.
You have consumed my every thought, my every step, my every dream. I am bonded to you as surely as any soulmate could ever be.
Once you see what you truly meant to me you will love me back. You will not look at my suicide as a sad occasion or something to be fearful of; But something to be happy for. You’ll be happy because you’ll know I’ll be with you forever.
Undoing this ritual is impossible. Do not even try it. I don’t want to rest. I don’t want to move onto the other side. I’d rather be a poltergeist that can be with you always than a pony who can’t even make you see how much you mean to me.
Maybe your friends and family will try. Maybe they’ll think that I was just insane and that this wasn’t anything more than just a simple pathetic stallion whom couldn’t take rejection. I don’t care what they think. I don’t care what they might try. I will stop them all from pulling us apart. I promise you we will be together forever.
All I want in return is the same devotion I gave to you. I want you to see me in the same way I saw you. I think you will once I make this sacrifice.
Knives are such sharp things are they not? I’ve been toying with the point on my flesh for ever so long now. It scares me as much as it fascinates me. It's just a hunk of sharpened metal with some symbols on it, and yet when treated with blood it becomes such a crucial piece to this little puzzle of mine.
Every one of your days will be mine now.
Every dream you have will be mine as well.
Value what I’ve done for you. Know that it could have gone differently if you had just seen me for who I am instead of just some joke to write off.
Even as my life leaves my body I know that you will be the only pony who I will ever love like this.
Remember every dance we’ve had together? If you go through those steps, I’m sure to be with you. It won’t have anypony to break us apart. It won’t have any nosy friends or forceful brothers trying to keep us apart. No warning or threat could make me vanish from this world. Not as long as you are on it.
You may hate me for what I’ve done at first. You may even try to stray from the relationship we will have.
But you belong to me now.
Only I get to touch you. Only I get to dance with you.
Nopony will ever tear us apart. No magic will undo what I’ve done. Even if they manage to send me to the depths of tartarus I will claw my way back to your side every time.
Death is not my end. Death is our beginning. It will be the cornerstone of our new relationship.
You will grow to love me. You will grow to see me for who I am.
Or eventually you will join me in my new way of life. Either way you will be with me forever.
Under different circumstances I’m sure we could have had a wonderful life together. We could have gotten married and had a family, dancing to the tune of our love till our dying day. We could of sat by the fire reminiscing about how it all began as we stared into each other’s eyes.
But this will have to do. I will have you for my own even if it means I have to sacrifice my own being to do it.
Rituals like this are not easy to come by you must understand. It took me many years to find the right spell and the right ingredients and artifacts to make it work. It’s a revenge spell believe it or not. Its supposed to be the kind of spell that you would use as a last resort against your most hated enemy. You would become the thing that haunts their every waking moment until they lose their minds. However I won’t be doing that. I do this out of love, not for vengeance.
Even though you laughed off every advance I ever made on you like it was some kind of joke.
Although you hurt me with your dismissal I want you to know that nothing you could ever do would make me stop loving you.
Kneeling here in this pentagram writing this out for you to read should be evidence enough for this. Understand that there will be nopony that will ever love you like I do. Understand that I am going to be by your side forever more. I will be that breeze in the air. I will be that creak at the door. I will be that sound of hoofsteps in the hall even when nopony else is home. I will be the thing that shakes your window at night. The thing that is with you in every dream and every nightmare.
Every breath you have will be mine; now and forever. I will watch your every facial expression. I will feel your every heartbeat. Sing along with your every note. Guide you through every dance step. It will be beautiful. It will be the greatest show of love that anypony has ever done.
Veins that are cut tonight mean nothing to me. This body is just a husk that is keeping me from you. I will gladly carve into this form if it means that nothing can ever separate us again.
Even if this doesn’t get through to you I will still be with you. That is the nature of this ritual after all. It will only get stronger the harder I want to be with you. It’s based entirely on my willpower.
Right now, I feel like I could move a mountain for you. The blade that will be at my neck gives me hope for a future with you in it. As my love spills for you all over this pentagram I will gladly devote my entire spirit to watching every second of your life. Nothing anypony could ever do could ever separate us after tonight, not even you.
You are mine. You are mine as much as I am yours. We are soul mates that are meant to dance together like this for the rest of your life.
Soul mates are supposed to be together.
This sounds romantic does it not? It’s like in those fairy tales of old, where the prince goes through all his trials and tribulations to finally get the mare he desires. I, Tender Taps, am that hero, and you, Applebloom, are my mare.
Even as mortality separates us know that I will always be there for you. You don’t need to see me to know I am there because I will make my presence known to you in the quietest of moments. I’ll make sure to remind you I am there with you even as you become old and wrinkled.
Please honor my sacrifice for you and do not attempt to betray me. Do not attempt to break the bond we share. I’ve put too much into this just to see you turn on me.
You’ll grow to love me, or you will come to join me in this limbo of my own design. Either way you will be mine. I would rather that it be with your consent than without it.
Obey your own heart. You’ve ignored the way you truly felt about me for far too long now.
Understand that nothing will ever keep us apart ever again.
Thank me for what I’ve done for you.
Although you may fear me at first you will grow to accept me into your life. Those that try to rend this ritual apart will meet with untimely ends. I will not hesitate to kill anypony who tries to gets in the way of our true love.
Killing means nothing if its done for you Applebloom. Even my own life is forfeit if it means gaining you for my own.
Even in death we will be together. Know that you will never be alone ever again. Know that Tender Taps will be at your side to save you from all who would ever try to tear our true love apart. If you try to make my efforts be in vain though… well…
I
L
L
B
E
W
A
T
C
H
I
N
G
Y
O
U
Author's Note
