//-------------------------------------------------------// My Gentle Giant -by Ron Jeremy Pony- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// Home Again //-------------------------------------------------------// Home Again My Gentle Giant A Carrot Top in the [url=] Chapter 1 Home again I looked around and sighed with relief. I wasn’t sure why I dreamed, well, whatever it was that I dreamed. I suppose Princess Luna had a good reason for letting me dream as vividly as I did. I slowly stood up, stretched, and found myself wearing my old green half-jersey, a gift from Written Script. In the beginning it had been a full Wonder Colt’s Hoofball jersey, but the years of working my garden, of the stalls, and helping out the Apples when they needed it had taken their toll on the old jersey. as it was now it barely covered my breasts. I looked down at my chest and shook my head. I suppose I should be thankful that I was blessed the way I was, but honestly, I’m a gardener. I don’t need two cantaloupes, well grapefruits anyway, hanging off of my chest, getting in my way, and making my back ache like nopony’s business. I stretched, feeling my jersey trying to pull above my breasts. I looked around at the empty market, noticing that the Apples’ Cart was here, but Applejack, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom were nowhere to be seen. My own cart was there, but it looked off. I walked toward it, looked at it, and noticed that my harness was wrong. Maybe it was somepony trying to play a joke on me. I’d wonder if it was Derpy, but I know her well enough to know that Derpy doesn’t play those kind of pranks. I’d heard of Rainbow Dash pulling them, but I didn’t know her well enough to be on her pranking list. In truth, I had no idea who would have tried to prank me like this. So, instead I looked around for my house. I could see it, off in the distance, and as I walked I noticed something else. Ponyville’s roads felt wrong. Most of the roads here were simple roads. Oh, there was a few ponies that had small drives to their houses, or neighborhoods, that were paved, but the biggest part of Ponyville’s roads were just old dirt roads. This felt like smooth river rock paved roads. Now I knew that something was going on, but at the moment I was just worried about getting inside my home. I reached my front door, turned the handle and noticed that it wouldn’t open. That wasn’t right. I never locked my door. I knew my neighbors, I knew everypony in this town, and I never locked the door because I could trust the ponies here. I calmed myself down, looked under the welcome mat, which had been moved, and noticed the spare key my father had insisted that I place there was gone. I felt my breath hitch as all of this change began to crash down on me. Everything was wrong. This was wrong. I was in Ponyville, but I wasn’t in Ponyville! The buildings didn’t look quite right, the roads were wrong, my own house was locked, and I didn’t have the bucking key. I wanted to calm down, to try and think about this rationally, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t calm down because of the very things that were upsetting me! I staggered back from my home/not home and desperately tried to get my breathing under control. I was already panicked, but hyperventilating wasn’t going to do me any favors. I wasn’t one of those wilting violets, The Flower Sisters, but if I didn’t get myself into some semblance of calm… Well, fainting dead away wasn’t really an option at that point. I had no idea where I really was, the town I had called home for so long was feeling stranger than it ever had, and the last I needed to was to fall unconscious. Maybe that’s why I hadn’t noticed the shadow that loomed over. When I finally take the shadow into consideration, I had convinced myself that somepony tall hadn’t snuck up behind me. I sought the sky, seeking for any clouds or maybe even a airship over head; I found nothing. The sky was azure and clear, so clear that Rainbow Dash could have cleared out no less than five seconds ago. Then I felt a pressure on my withers. That stopped me cold, all thoughts in my panicking head frozen to the spot. I turned around to see a monster… Whatever this creature was, he was as tall and as wide as any minotaur. Only, he lacked a fur coating and was missing any horn. His chocolate brown eyes and short, curly mane made him look wild but gentle. He looked down on me with a mixture of curiosity and wonder. At first, I thought he was a she, for how cute he looked. That was until he spoke and removed all doubt. “Hello, horsey lady,” it said, “are you in costume?” “C-costume?” I asked. The being nodded, before adding in it's sweet, soft voice, “Yeah, in costume. I wadn’t ‘xpectin’ no actors till sumtime next year. Ponyville ain’t close to bein’ complete yet but then it, it will.” “Wh- what do you mean?” I questioned. The being looked at me, it's curiosity turning to worry and said, “Ain’t ya cold, Hoarse Lady? T’aint even the end o’ Febr’ry and the wind is packin’ a lotta chill in it.” “Uh, no, I’m fine,” I answer, “this is Ponyville?” “Best as I can make it,” the being said, “Is you hun’ry? I’m hun’ry. I coul’ go for fishies right ‘bout now.” I’m instantly reminded of the colt I used to sometimes foalsit. He was only just beginning to speak and he would talk in simple phrases, the occasional full sentence. That what was what this being sounded like to me. Unlike that foal, through, he was a full grown- whatever he was. He was also quiet like a mouse, I didn’t know he was walking away until he called back. “Does you wan’ fishies, too, Hoarse Lady?” I had planned to turn down the offer, but my empty stomach said otherwise. “Uh, yes, hold on!” Walking behind him we came up on a large body of water. It was far too big to be a pond, and there was a current in it. My first thought was that it had to a river, but it was almost too still, too peaceful to be much of one. He walked over toward a rope, pulled on it, and I watched as it tightened. He continued to pull until I could see a net coming out of the water. Inside of it was five or six fish, all different sizes, and he looked at them, and then at me. “This ‘nough, want to go eat? I make good fishies.” I nodded, and I followed him up the road, toward town, and then he came toward something that shouldn’t exist anymore. I saw the after effect of the Golden Oak library being destroyed. I watched as Twilight and Spike picked through the ashes of their old home, and even though she didn’t know it I saw Twilight crying over the library. Yet here it was. It was standing proud, looking every bit as impressive as it did when I first saw it as a yearling. I was amazed at seeing it, at how the tree was alive, a home, and it perfectly worked because of Earth Pony magic. He opened the door, ducked down, and I realized how tall he was. The door was taller than me, by at least a foot, and he was ducking down pretty good to get past the door itself. I walked in behind him, closed the door, and saw the hundreds, no thousands, of books there. It looked the same, but it did feel a little off. I touched the wall, and it felt cold. The Golden Oaks Library had always been warm. The warmth of the magic keeping it alive, keeping it growing like it was, and keeping those inside feeling safe. This felt like cold stone. I got past the feeling, followed the large creature until he came to a large stove. I watched as he brought the now dead fish up to the top of the stove and began to skin and fillet them. Being somepony that could never stand to just sit and watch I offered to help, and soon I was doing the same as he was. He hand a few skillets on the stove, a pan of cornmeal, and he dipped the fish into the corn meal. Seeing what he was doing I followed suit and soon we had several fishies battered with cornmeal, and in the skillets frying. The smell of the fish was causing my already empty stomach start to remind me of how much I needed something, anything, to eat. I could hear my stomach grumbling, it’s rumbling becoming more and more pronounced, and for the most part I tried not to let it bother me. I’d always been a hard worker, and one thing my parents had taught me is that if you work hard then you play and eat hard and hearty. It seemed that the large creature could hear my stomach, and he placed the first fish onto a plate for me. Typically it was good manners to wait until everypony had their food before they began to eat. I couldn’t wait any longer, and so I dug into it. It was hot, still a little greasy, and the best fried fish I’ve ever tasted. I practically moaned as if I was having the greatest orgasm of my life.. He, the strange creature, no the strange looking stallion looked at me for a moment, grinned, and then laughed before he put a couple of the fish on his plate. He soon had another helping ready for me, and I gladly accepted it. For what felt like a couple of hours we ate, enjoying the food, and enjoying the company. Something told me that he didn’t have too many visitors, and I wondered why. He wasn’t mean, and he didn’t treat me with anything but respect, but I could tell that he was lonely. I yawned, and the matter of getting into my house bothered me. The key was gone, the door was locked, and I wasn’t sure that I could get into it without my key. “Hoarse lady gots place to stay?” I looked at him, and I supposed he picked up on my situation, “I thought that I did. I mean I was at my house earlier, but it was locked. It’s never locked, but it was locked. In fact everything today has been off.” He reached out, slowly, gently touching my shoulder, and I could see his chocolate brown eyes focusing on something. He looked at me, asking a silent question, and I nodded. I felt him tug, lightly, on my fur, and then he let go. “N...No costume? R...Real?” he asked. I nodded. He sat there, his eyes widening, and at first I thought it was fear, but instead I felt two large arms around me. He was strong, every bit as strong as one of us, and he was hugging me tightly, “Real! Hoarse Lady real! Real!!” Author's Note (AN: Carrot Top joining the Vogonverse? Yeah, I've been playing around with this idea for a while, and I just recently decided to bring it out. First and foremost... I'm sure that some of you realized that Ponyville itself would be making an entrance at some point. It's a little difficult to have a universe created that has the mane six in it, and not show Ponyville. So naturally, I had to show it. Expect to see other ponies ending up in this world's version of Ponyville as well. Thanks for reading RJP)