I Self Inserted As Madison's Look-alike Cousin?! - Rewrite
by
Nightgazer Starlight
Prologue
07/??/2016
Hi! My name is Billy. You don't need to know my last name.
It was just a nice night in the house. I had just, a little while ago, woken up. And I was still a little groggy. Well, maybe a bit more Groggy. Alright, I could barely keep my eyes open now. I needed to start getting more sleep.
I was currently sitting in front of my comp playing a very heavily modded Skyrim, I -love- the custom character mod and the TARDIS mod and the modern weapons mod too.
Then I decided to take a break from being the dovahkiin and started browsing through the web instead. I went to Google and typed in 'Worm Series', just to see what I would get. My attention was caught by a link that said 'Online Worm CYOA Complete Form' and I wondered what it was.
Clicking the link brought me to a site that had what appeared to be a custom version of the Worm CYOA and little boxes you fill out to make your choices. I was curious about this so I thought I would give it a try. I didn't have anything better to do at the moment.
Now if I could just stop yawning so much.
Since this was all a game I decided to be a bit silly and choose stupid and ridiculous things. It's not like any of this was actually gonna happen.
KRACKA-THOOM!
"Odd." I said. "I don't remember anything about a thunderstorm. Real odd to be getting one here in July."
The first part of this thing seemed to be 'Method of Arrival'. I read all the choices, blinking at some of them, and chose 'Self Insert' and then since I was being silly 'Have body of Madison Clements'.
I yawned again. Man. I was tired.
The next part was the 'Difficulty'. Boy. This was a bit different from the one I was familiar with.
Well some of those sounded somewhat interesting to me.
Perhaps, that choice.
For my 'Difficulty' I chose 'God Mode'. A little box popped up saying '20 points remaining', then another little box popped up saying 'your powers won't be limited'.
"I'm on God Mode, cool."
I giggled tiredly.
Next up was the 'Disadvantages'.
And there I chose 'Geas' gaining one point and I typed in 'a fear of wasps and similar insects'. "If I'm going to be compelled to be afraid of something. Might as well be something I'm already afraid of in RL." 'Wanted' gaining three points and I typed in 'ABB/E88/Merchants'. "I could survive those guys... by running." 'Without a Map' gaining 2 points and I typed in 'in a three-way fight between the E88/ABB/Merchants'. "I probably would have pissed them off anyway yeah." 'Soulless' gaining four points. "Most people think I'm soulless anyway now." And 'Anomaly Magnet' for two points. "Might be fun encountering all that weird stuff now." The little box popped up again saying '32 points remaining', 'no extra points', 'proceed on now'.
So it kept track of extra points now. It wouldn't let me go over the limit. Well that was good. I relaxed knowing the machine would do all the calculations for me right now. I was too tired to add two plus two. I'm glad I had some machine here. I decided that now that I had them I would spend them.
I yawned again.
Well looked like 'Advantages' was next and then 'Items' and 'Powers'.
For 'Advantages' I chose 'Blank' costing one point. "You're not gonna see me coming now!" I chose 'Extra Skill' costing one point and I typed in 'Anything-Goes Martial Artist'. "I wonder if this will actually work?" I thought quite hopeful. I chose 'Mental Fortress' costing one point. "Let's see you do anything to my mind now." I said quite happily. I chose 'Temporal Ghost' costing one point. "Hah!" I said out loud. "Take that Coil! Stick it Coil!" I chose 'Badass Normal' costing one point. "Normal people can kick ass too." I chose 'Greater Vials' costing one point. "I can powerup my friends." I thought very happily. I chose 'Charles Atlas Superpowers' costing one point. "Wow, I'm gonna be really powerful with this." I said to myself. 'Comic Book Pretty' costing one point. "Might as well look good if possible." I chose 'Companion' costing one point and I typed in 'reformed Sunset Shimmer'. "Wow, hot Sunset." I said. I chose 'Item of Power' costing one point and I typed in 'Captain America's vibranium/uru shield and a version of his uniform made of unstable molecules'. "What better gear for a hero than this?" I asked the universe. Mmmm... It didn't answer. I chose 'Man of Mystery' costing one point. "Never gonna know who I am now." I giggled. I chose 'Resources' costing one point. "Money!" I yelled in happiness. "Yeah the money! Gimme the money now yes!" I chose 'Secret Lair' costing one point. "Yeah gonna have my own place now." I looked at the next few choices. And blink-blinked then. "Huh? What's all this cyber stuff doing here?" I chose 'Heavy Bone Weave - Skeletal Lattice' costing one point. "Very strong bones." I chose 'Heavy Muscle Weave - Microfiber Weave' costing one point. "Very strong muscles." I chose 'Heavy Skin Weave 7 - Lattice Shunting' costing one point. "Very tough skin." I chose 'Nano Blood - Complete Systems' costing one point. "No diseased blood!" Then the little box popped up and said 'you have unlocked "Calcified Endoskeleton - Bovine Fortitude" for zero points by choosing the other body mods.' "Well ain't that different and kinda unexpected." I said. I chose 'Immortality' costing four points. "Not gonna die and stay dead now." I said. I chose 'Adaptable' costing one point. "Gonna be able to adapt to anything." I chose 'Original Thinker' costing one point. "Gonna win every time with this now." I chose 'Shapeshifting' costing four points. "Well now that ought to be fun." I chose 'Special Snowflake' costing one point. "Hmmm..." I pondered. "Not getting my Abilities dudes. So take that would-be thieves." The little box popped up again saying '3 points remaining'. I blinked, I hadn't realized I'd used up that many so far.
"Man." I said. "I've got 'Blank', 'Man of Mystery', 'Mental Fortress', and 'Temporal Ghost' protecting me. Not even Coil, Tattletale, or Contessa will be able to tell I exist."
I yawned again right now. Ummm. Everything was getting so blurry.
For 'A Brighter World?' I chose 'For Want of a Nail' costing one point and I typed in 'Scion drops dead in both his puppet body on Earth Bet and his true body spread out across Other Earths and won't return', and 'Crossover' costing two points and I typed in 'Friendship is Magic' then I typed in 'it's always been this way'. The little box popped up again saying '0 points remaining'.
I couldn't get any 'Powers' since I had chosen the 'Badass Normal' 'Advantage', but it looked like I could get some... 'Items'?
'Yikes!' I thought. 'That guy sure seems creepy. Still, he has got some good "Items".'
I looked at all the 'Items' and 'Favors' and made my choice.
I just hoped I'd be able to complete what I owed before a week ran out and I was subjected to horrible torture.
For 'Items' I chose 'The "Link" Bundle' and now I owed the 'Favor' of 'Kill Coil, Skidmark, Lung, and Kaiser. Save Noelle.'. "I get some really neat 'Items' out of this. And I would have killed those guys and saved her anyway. Just hope I can do it before a week is up and time runs out."
Well, looks I was done filling this thing out.
"Excellent." I say in imitation of a Mondasian Cyberman.
I stretched and yawned, wondering what to do next. Maybe I should watch 'Die Hard' or 'Rainbow Rocks'. One had some real cool action and neat stunts, the other had Sunset Shimmer. Yeah, no contest here pal. I reached for my 'Rainbow Rocks' dvd.
"Sunset." I said.
Another box popped up saying 'press'. I blinked, shrugged, and clicked it. Another box popped up saying 'your choices have been made. universal insertion will now commence. bye bye now, have fun!'
There is a sudden disorientation, and I am gone.
??/??/20??
I came to in an alley. I felt a... little bit odd now. All the memories that weren't mine rushing around in my head. A lifetime I had lived, but yet didn't live. The life of a very bad girl named Madison Clements.
I was also very much awake now.
Man I'd been really out of it.
There sounded to be fighting outside. Fists, knives, guns... that sort of thing. Sounded like some people were dying too.
'Oh my God.' I thought. 'That website was more than just some game. It actually transported me here, to Worm. This is Worm. This is real. All of this is real. And considering the 'Without a Map' 'Disadvantage' and the 'Wanted' 'Disadvantage' I chose... That must be the Empire Eighty-Eight throwing down with the Azn Bad Boys and the Merchants. And I'm going to have them all trying to kill me off when they can.'
Needless to say I was panicking a bit. Now how was I going to handle this? Did I have any chance of getting out of this alive?
'Wait a minute...' I thought. 'Did I choose to have Madison's body?! Did I just turn myself into a cute girl?!'
I then noticed that the alley seemed to be... frozen? Nothing was moving. All was silent.
There was a butterfly just stuck there in midair. It wasn't flying. There were particles of dust that just hung in the air.
Then I noticed a glowing note there.
I picked it up and read it.
"Hello." it said. "I hope you are enjoying your little trip into another universe. As you have no doubt figured out the CYOA on the web you filled out earlier was a trap placed there by a ROB, namely me.
Now that you are no longer irrationally stupid from lack of sleep, there are some things I've got to tell you. First one is... while you have Madison's body, or rather a perfect copy, the real Madison is still out there. Don't worry about coming into contact with her. Unlike on those sci-fi shows you won't suffer any effects and neither will she if you actually touch. You might want to be careful though. Whatever trouble you bring down on yourself might cause it to fall down on her. I have placed some things in the country's databases. You're officially listed as Ariel Clements, Madison Clements's look-alike cousin. So there is that to help you out. You can tell anyone that mistakes you for her that you're Ariel, not Madison. Second one is..... because you got 'Calcified Endoskeleton - Bovine Fortitude' it means that you have exceptionally healthy teeth and bones. Congratulations! You don't have to worry about your teeth rotting out. But I would still advise you to brush often. Third thing I want to tell you is....... go out there and entertain me now. The time freeze will wear off in thirty minutes. Might want to take time to check out your new body. Fourth thing I want to tell you is......... stay out of holy places. Fifth thing I want to tell you is........... your 'Items', except the Triforce of Courage, will not be accessible until tomorrow. The subspace pocket has to be calibrated. But don't worry, your 'Items' will be accessible then and anytime after that. And no, I was not the creepy man who sold you the 'Items' back then. That man is an... associate of mine. Well, see you later then. It's been... fun.
-Your Not So Friendly Neighborhood ROB - aka The Lord Of Darkness
P.S. This message will self-destruct in fifteen seconds."
I blink-blinked at that and then my eyes widened. I hurriedly looked around, spotted a trashcan, and lifting the lid put the note in it and then put the lid back.
I then got away from the trash can and took cover behind a wall. The trash can... exploded. 'Huh?' I thought. 'Where did that ROB get the idea for an exploding message? From watching Inspector Gadget?'
Then I remembered what the note said about checking out my new body.
I quickly checked myself. 'Girl.' I thought. 'So. I really did it then?'
I spotted a mirror and quickly walked to it. A quick glance at the mirror showed a young looking girl with light brown hair, dark blue eyes, and a really cute face. Her hair was kinda long.
'Hair.' I thought to myself. 'Cute girl hair. Good thing I have Madison's memories on how to take care of it.'
'Yep.' I thought in resignation. 'Madison. Just how sleep-deprived was I anyway to choose this?'
Looking at myself I just knew that my height was five feet and one inch and my weight was ninety-five pounds. 'That's what Madison's memories tell me now.' I thought. 'And it's a healthy weight as well. It's perferctly natural with Madison since she has a quirky metabolism that keeps her at the ideal body weight.'
I spent a little while examining myself. My skin seemed tougher but still nicely smooth and supple, I seemed to be stronger judging by the metal bar I lifted, I wasn't sure how to test it but I'm pretty sure my bones were stronger.
I continued to stare into the mirror. 'Well.' I thought. 'If I'm going to be a girl at least I'm a cute girl.' I did a little spin in front of the mirror and let out a girlish giggle. I had to admit the effect looked and sounded cute. It could be worse I finally decided.
I noticed a bit of a glow. I looked down at the back of my hand and saw... a glowing triangle!? The triangle had three smaller triangles in it. The top one and lower left one were empty. But the lower right one glowed. I knew what that meant. I had the Triforce of Courage on my right hand.
I noticed that there was a piece of metal with a cross shape on it. Not an X, but an actual cross. Like you might see in a church. I didn't want to do this, but it needed to be done. I reached out and pressed my palm against it.
*PAIN*
"ARRRGGGHHH!" I screamed as I jerked my hand back. I looked at my palm and saw it was red, puffy, and had a cross shape burned into it. I just stared at it for awhile and realized what this meant.
I was... soulless. I no longer had my soul anymore. I sank to my knees and cried. I was a girl now. It was alright if I cried some.
A little while later I got myself together and wiped my eyes. I got up and looked at my palm. Instead of the cross shape I expected to see all that met my eyes was pure unblemished skin. My hand had healed up and was fine now. It looked like my 'Advantages' were going to make healing a lot easier.
I frowned as I thought of the major 'Disadvantage' I had. The one that is known as 'Soulless'. It meant that I no longer had a soul.
'What am I going to do now?' I thought. 'Why did I have to choose 'Soulless'? Does this mean I am Damned and on a journey to Hell?'
I stopped frowning.
I was mostly numb now.
Maybe it was a defense mechanism or something perhaps.
If I started to think about this I would start crying again now.
All of a sudden there was a flash of light and then I could hear the gangs coming closer. The time freeze must have worn off. I shook myself out of it. This was no time to be feeling sorry for myself.
I quickly got into a stance I remembered from the Martial Arts memories I had had shoved into my head from choosing the 'Extra Skill' thing like I had typed back home. I also remembered what I had chosen for 'Item of Power'. I summoned my gear to me then.
And just in time too, members from all three gangs poured into the alley.
Chapter One
The gang members rushed into the alley. They were busy fighting each other. They were a bit of a mix. Whites wearing the colors of the Empire, Asians wearing the colors of the ABB, and a bunch of dirty/smelly/disfigured people who could only be the Merchants.
Man those Merchants were ugly. Some of them even had their skin rotting off. Either they were doing some reallllly bad drugs. Or they had learned how to turn people into zombies. With my luck it was probably the last one.
'That's a damn scary thought.' I thought. 'Zombie Merchants. Man that's the last thing this city needs now.'
One of the Merchants had their arm fall off. There were maggots falling out of the hole. He moaned then and then reached down and reattached it.
'Oh... my..... God.' I thought. 'They really -are- zombies. ... ... ... ... ... Um. I just had to choose the 'Anomaly Magnet' 'Disadvantage' didn't I?'
They stopped and looked at me.
"Captain America?!" a fat white balding guy exclaimed.
They gawked at me.
"Kuso!" swore a young teenage Asian boy.
And they gaped too.
"Errrggggg." moaned one of the zombie Merchants.
And then shrugged. Then charged me.
All their differences apparently forgotten. All colors, creeds, beliefs considered unimportant to their main goal. Under other circumstances I would have applauded such universal Harmony if their main goal wasn't killing me.
Obviously the 'Wanted' 'Disadvantage' at work here.
I assumed one of the Martial Arts stances I remembered now and got ready.
The first thug to reach me attempted to strike me but I sent a quick flurry of jabs into his face and then into his throat causing him to go down gasping for air. Fortunately for the thug I had used a non-lethal move. He would live.
Two of them rushed me at the same time and at the last moment I jumped over them and landed behind. Then gave a couple of quick jabs to the backs of their necks. The thugs fell down and went unconscious.
The next one threw a punch at me and I grabbed his arm and then repositioned myself with my back to him and threw him in front of me. He sailed forward for a few feet. And landed close to another of them.
The thug he landed next to snarled and then said "You hit them! I'll hit you! I don't care if you are really Captain America! Or his daughter! Come on then!"
I was more than happy to oblige. I rushed forward and knocked him unconscious, then the one behind him, and the one behind him. The alley was littered with unconscious thugs.
"ARRRGGG!" shouted one of the two remaining thugs as he picked up a heavy bar and charged.
I just stood my ground and waited. Then at the last second I leapt out of the way. The thug went face first right into the dumpster that was behind me.
Once he fell unconscious the last thug pulled a dagger and charged me.
My eyes narrowed. This lowlife dared to pull a weapon on -me-. I ducked under the blade, grabbed his wrist and forced his arm up, then kicked him in the dick.
His eyes went wide, he gasped, and finally he squeaked out "Mommy..."
I then released him and he fell to the ground unconscious. I looked around and nodded at all the unconscious thugs. Then I started to loot the bodies.
As I walked through the city I kept to the shadows. Wouldn't do to have anyone spot me. Not covered with blood like I was.
I had unsummoned my costume after defeating the thugs.
And I just didn't feel like summoning it again now.
Fortunately one of my pockets had had a hotel key in it that even had the address of the hotel. Unfortunately it was clear across town where the good section of town was. I was currently in the very bad part of town.
I moved carefully though the shadows hoping not to get noticed. It didn't turn out that way though. A voice interrupted me.
"Well lookee here." it said. "What'da we got here? A girl slinking in tha shadows like some lowdown sidewinder, covered with blood, and pockets overflowing with no doubt stolen money."
I looked to the voice, and a figure emerged from the shadows. I did a double take when the light fell on him. I just stared.
"Aegis?!" I... remarked.
"Ya know." he said while rubbing his head. "If that blood and money ain't yours, ya'll is in a whole passle oh trouble."
"I..." I said. "I didn't hurt anyone innocent! I took it from gang members who tried to kill me, I beat them and looted their bodies!"
Aegis looked startled and then glared at me and snarled "But ya'll did kill 'em! And then took their money? Ah'm gonna have'ta arrest ya fer that now!"
"I didn't kill them off!" I shouted at him. "I knocked them all unconscious! Get it right!"
"Ya killed 'em and then looted their bodies?!" he snarled. "Ya'll are obviously a phsyco! Now stay there while Ah put this nice containment foam on ya!"
I started to get angry. How dare he keep saying that I had killed the gang members. I told him I knocked them unconscious. The gangs were running riot in this city and all the Protectorate and the Wards did was sit on their asses. I did his job for him then.
He scanned my face with something tinker-techish. Then he looked at me. And then at the device.
"Well now Miss Clements." he said. "Or should Ah call ya Madison? Ya'll are in a whole passle oh trouble."
I glared at him and said "You might want to run that scan again. I'm not Madison Clements. I'm Ariel Clements."
He typed some things into his device and said "Madison's look-alike cousin Ariel then? Well it don't matter none who ya are. Yur still going down for tha crimes ya committed. It don't matter if they were gang members now or whatever. We take a very dim view of killin around these here parts y'know."
He was reaching for the foam grenades. Then I remembered his power. I smiled, rather nastily though, as I thought 'Looks like I'm going to have to get a little... messy.'
I pulled out a gun I had taken from one of the gangers and shot him. He collapsed down. I smirked at him and walked closer.
"The names Ariel." I said. "Remember it, Aegis."
Aegis got back up unharmed and said "Ya can't beat me with a gun."
"Why don't we find out." I said.
"Ah reckon if ya want a scrap we can go fer it. But Ah warn ya now. Ah'm gonna kick your flank." Aegis said.
I shot bullets at Aegis.
"I told ya guns have no effect." he said as he punched me through a wall.
'Ouch.' I thought. 'That really hurt. I mean really as in pure agonizing.'
"Why dont'cha just be a good low down sidewinding varmint and surrender?" he asked. "Ah don't really want ta harm ya. Jus give up and ya'll only get a few years for yur muderin crimes."
"Never!" I snarled at the idiot who couldn't understand I didn't kill anybody.
I shot more bullets at Aegis now.
Then he knocked me through another wall.
And another one.
It was then I noticed the piece of pipe sticking out of my chest when I looked down. 'Oh.' I thought. 'I must have gotten impaled on some pipe in the wall when my back hit it. Well this is it for me now.'
I looked at Aegis and said "I thought... you didn't... like killing... around... these here... parts." while gasping.
Aegis just looked stunned and then he said "Ah... didn't intend fer this ta happen ta ya. Ah wanted ta take ya in alive. Drop ya off with tha cops where ya would spend a few years in a cell for killin those gang members."
I just stared at him. He still didn't understand that I hadn't killed anyone? Then blackness rushed in and that was the last thing I knew.
Aegis just stared at the girl as she breathed her last and died. He hadn't wanted this. He just wanted to arrest the little murderess, not kill her.
He felt really, really, really bad about this. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. This wasn't what a hero was supposed to do.
'How did it come ta this?' he thought. 'Why didn't she jus surrender? Why did she have'ta fight me now?'
He walked up to the girl and pulled her off the pipe and laid her down on the ground. He then arranged her as best he could and placed her hands over her chest. 'Tha least Ah can do is lay her down in tha proper position of respect.' he thought.
He then radioed in to his superiors and told them he had accidentally killed a teenage girl murderess who he was trying to arrest. He told them the location of where he was and said he would wait for them. Then he leaned against a wall and closed his eyes too. He rubbed his head again. And again. The ringing in his ears from where Hookwolf knocked him through that wall when he fought the E88 earlier would just not go away. It was annoying.
'Life was so much simpler back in Ponyville.' he thought. 'Life here on Earth Bet is jus so different. Ah wish Ah was back home at Sweet Apple Acres.'
He rubbed his head again. Dang ringing wouldn't go away. He could barely hear a thing now.
'Ah wonder how mah family is doin?' he thought. 'Ah wonder how tha Apple family is doin? Ah wonder how AJ is doin?' he thought as he got out and looked at a picture of his childhood crush now.
He sighed as he looked at the picture of Applejack busy doing work on the farm like the hardworking mare that she was.
I came to with a gasp and looked around me. I was lying on the ground. And my hands were on my chest, like people in caskets.
'I really don't like the implications of that.' I thought. I checked myself and could see no wound though the shirt I had on was stained with blood and stuff. I remembered what I had selected on the CYOA and then...
I realized what had happened to me. 'I'm Immortal.' I thought. 'I'm Immortal and I can't stay dead ever. And I'm stuck looking like a sixteen year old Madison Clements for my entire existence.'
I got up quietly and looked around. I spotted Aegis and prepared myself for trouble. But. He didn't move.
Very cautiously I crept closer and poked him. He didn't react. Then. He slumped to the ground and lay unmoving there.
'He's dead?' I thought in alarm. 'He's dead now? He's dead after killing me?!'
I decided it would be too dangerous to stick around and crept my way out of there.
A few hours later I was just a little bit away from my hotel when I ran into trouble. This trouble consisted of the fourth gang in the city. Wait... four gangs?!
Then Madison's memories hit me and I remembered that there was a fourth gang. They were called the Hornmasters. And were a bunch of... unicorn supremacists?!
'Oh great.' I thought. 'Just what I didn't need. The pony version of nazis.'
'These guys are bad news.' I thought. 'They believe that unicorns are the Master Race. And that all other beings should serve them eternally.'
'It's a good thing I resummoned my costume.' I thought. 'I decided the protection was worth it. It wouldn't do for me to get outed.'
The gang members stopped and looked at me. They were staring. And gawking too.
"Look at this boys." one of them said. Then looking to me said "It's not Nightmare Night filthy ape. It's not Nightmare Night."
Another one said "You got any money for us you stinkin ape? You got any money on you? You gonna give us some?"
I looked at them and said "And if I don't what will you do?"
The first spoke again and said "Gonna smash your face in you stupid ape."
I looked at them and said "Alright. Come on then. Let's get it over with."
They rushed forward prepared to do violence on me.
I was busy looting the unconscious bodies of the unicorn gang members. They had a lot of bits on them. Since one bit was equal to one dollar I was getting quite a nice haul out of this.
Later I finally stumbled into my hotel room. I heard a gasp and looked up. Before me was a vision of loveliness.
"Sweet Celestia boss!" exclaimed Sunset. "What in the name of Discord has happened to you now? You look like you went a round with the combined forces of the Changeling Empire!"
I just smiled at the sight of Sunset Shimmer. She was really here as my companion. Then I passed out on the floor.
