I Self Inserted As Madison's Look-alike Cousin?! - Rewrite

Chapter One

The gang members rushed into the alley. They were busy fighting each other. They were a bit of a mix. Whites wearing the colors of the Empire, Asians wearing the colors of the ABB, and a bunch of dirty/smelly/disfigured people who could only be the Merchants.

Man those Merchants were ugly. Some of them even had their skin rotting off. Either they were doing some reallllly bad drugs. Or they had learned how to turn people into zombies. With my luck it was probably the last one.

'That's a damn scary thought.' I thought. 'Zombie Merchants. Man that's the last thing this city needs now.'

One of the Merchants had their arm fall off. There were maggots falling out of the hole. He moaned then and then reached down and reattached it.

'Oh... my..... God.' I thought. 'They really -are- zombies. ... ... ... ... ... Um. I just had to choose the 'Anomaly Magnet' 'Disadvantage' didn't I?'

They stopped and looked at me.

"Captain America?!" a fat white balding guy exclaimed.

They gawked at me.

"Kuso!" swore a young teenage Asian boy.

And they gaped too.

"Errrggggg." moaned one of the zombie Merchants.

And then shrugged. Then charged me.

All their differences apparently forgotten. All colors, creeds, beliefs considered unimportant to their main goal. Under other circumstances I would have applauded such universal Harmony if their main goal wasn't killing me.

Obviously the 'Wanted' 'Disadvantage' at work here.

I assumed one of the Martial Arts stances I remembered now and got ready.

The first thug to reach me attempted to strike me but I sent a quick flurry of jabs into his face and then into his throat causing him to go down gasping for air. Fortunately for the thug I had used a non-lethal move. He would live.

Two of them rushed me at the same time and at the last moment I jumped over them and landed behind. Then gave a couple of quick jabs to the backs of their necks. The thugs fell down and went unconscious.

The next one threw a punch at me and I grabbed his arm and then repositioned myself with my back to him and threw him in front of me. He sailed forward for a few feet. And landed close to another of them.

The thug he landed next to snarled and then said "You hit them! I'll hit you! I don't care if you are really Captain America! Or his daughter! Come on then!"

I was more than happy to oblige. I rushed forward and knocked him unconscious, then the one behind him, and the one behind him. The alley was littered with unconscious thugs.

"ARRRGGG!" shouted one of the two remaining thugs as he picked up a heavy bar and charged.

I just stood my ground and waited. Then at the last second I leapt out of the way. The thug went face first right into the dumpster that was behind me.

Once he fell unconscious the last thug pulled a dagger and charged me.

My eyes narrowed. This lowlife dared to pull a weapon on -me-. I ducked under the blade, grabbed his wrist and forced his arm up, then kicked him in the dick.

His eyes went wide, he gasped, and finally he squeaked out "Mommy..."

I then released him and he fell to the ground unconscious. I looked around and nodded at all the unconscious thugs. Then I started to loot the bodies.

As I walked through the city I kept to the shadows. Wouldn't do to have anyone spot me. Not covered with blood like I was.

I had unsummoned my costume after defeating the thugs.

And I just didn't feel like summoning it again now.

Fortunately one of my pockets had had a hotel key in it that even had the address of the hotel. Unfortunately it was clear across town where the good section of town was. I was currently in the very bad part of town.

I moved carefully though the shadows hoping not to get noticed. It didn't turn out that way though. A voice interrupted me.

"Well lookee here." it said. "What'da we got here? A girl slinking in tha shadows like some lowdown sidewinder, covered with blood, and pockets overflowing with no doubt stolen money."

I looked to the voice, and a figure emerged from the shadows. I did a double take when the light fell on him. I just stared.

"Aegis?!" I... remarked.

"Ya know." he said while rubbing his head. "If that blood and money ain't yours, ya'll is in a whole passle oh trouble."

"I..." I said. "I didn't hurt anyone innocent! I took it from gang members who tried to kill me, I beat them and looted their bodies!"

Aegis looked startled and then glared at me and snarled "But ya'll did kill 'em! And then took their money? Ah'm gonna have'ta arrest ya fer that now!"

"I didn't kill them off!" I shouted at him. "I knocked them all unconscious! Get it right!"

"Ya killed 'em and then looted their bodies?!" he snarled. "Ya'll are obviously a phsyco! Now stay there while Ah put this nice containment foam on ya!"

I started to get angry. How dare he keep saying that I had killed the gang members. I told him I knocked them unconscious. The gangs were running riot in this city and all the Protectorate and the Wards did was sit on their asses. I did his job for him then.

He scanned my face with something tinker-techish. Then he looked at me. And then at the device.

"Well now Miss Clements." he said. "Or should Ah call ya Madison? Ya'll are in a whole passle oh trouble."

I glared at him and said "You might want to run that scan again. I'm not Madison Clements. I'm Ariel Clements."

He typed some things into his device and said "Madison's look-alike cousin Ariel then? Well it don't matter none who ya are. Yur still going down for tha crimes ya committed. It don't matter if they were gang members now or whatever. We take a very dim view of killin around these here parts y'know."

He was reaching for the foam grenades. Then I remembered his power. I smiled, rather nastily though, as I thought 'Looks like I'm going to have to get a little... messy.'

I pulled out a gun I had taken from one of the gangers and shot him. He collapsed down. I smirked at him and walked closer.

"The names Ariel." I said. "Remember it, Aegis."

Aegis got back up unharmed and said "Ya can't beat me with a gun."

"Why don't we find out." I said.

"Ah reckon if ya want a scrap we can go fer it. But Ah warn ya now. Ah'm gonna kick your flank." Aegis said.

I shot bullets at Aegis.

"I told ya guns have no effect." he said as he punched me through a wall.

'Ouch.' I thought. 'That really hurt. I mean really as in pure agonizing.'

"Why dont'cha just be a good low down sidewinding varmint and surrender?" he asked. "Ah don't really want ta harm ya. Jus give up and ya'll only get a few years for yur muderin crimes."

"Never!" I snarled at the idiot who couldn't understand I didn't kill anybody.

I shot more bullets at Aegis now.

Then he knocked me through another wall.

And another one.

It was then I noticed the piece of pipe sticking out of my chest when I looked down. 'Oh.' I thought. 'I must have gotten impaled on some pipe in the wall when my back hit it. Well this is it for me now.'

I looked at Aegis and said "I thought... you didn't... like killing... around... these here... parts." while gasping.

Aegis just looked stunned and then he said "Ah... didn't intend fer this ta happen ta ya. Ah wanted ta take ya in alive. Drop ya off with tha cops where ya would spend a few years in a cell for killin those gang members."

I just stared at him. He still didn't understand that I hadn't killed anyone? Then blackness rushed in and that was the last thing I knew.

Aegis just stared at the girl as she breathed her last and died. He hadn't wanted this. He just wanted to arrest the little murderess, not kill her.

He felt really, really, really bad about this. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. This wasn't what a hero was supposed to do.

'How did it come ta this?' he thought. 'Why didn't she jus surrender? Why did she have'ta fight me now?'

He walked up to the girl and pulled her off the pipe and laid her down on the ground. He then arranged her as best he could and placed her hands over her chest. 'Tha least Ah can do is lay her down in tha proper position of respect.' he thought.

He then radioed in to his superiors and told them he had accidentally killed a teenage girl murderess who he was trying to arrest. He told them the location of where he was and said he would wait for them. Then he leaned against a wall and closed his eyes too. He rubbed his head again. And again. The ringing in his ears from where Hookwolf knocked him through that wall when he fought the E88 earlier would just not go away. It was annoying.

'Life was so much simpler back in Ponyville.' he thought. 'Life here on Earth Bet is jus so different. Ah wish Ah was back home at Sweet Apple Acres.'

He rubbed his head again. Dang ringing wouldn't go away. He could barely hear a thing now.

'Ah wonder how mah family is doin?' he thought. 'Ah wonder how tha Apple family is doin? Ah wonder how AJ is doin?' he thought as he got out and looked at a picture of his childhood crush now.

He sighed as he looked at the picture of Applejack busy doing work on the farm like the hardworking mare that she was.

I came to with a gasp and looked around me. I was lying on the ground. And my hands were on my chest, like people in caskets.

'I really don't like the implications of that.' I thought. I checked myself and could see no wound though the shirt I had on was stained with blood and stuff. I remembered what I had selected on the CYOA and then...

I realized what had happened to me. 'I'm Immortal.' I thought. 'I'm Immortal and I can't stay dead ever. And I'm stuck looking like a sixteen year old Madison Clements for my entire existence.'

I got up quietly and looked around. I spotted Aegis and prepared myself for trouble. But. He didn't move.

Very cautiously I crept closer and poked him. He didn't react. Then. He slumped to the ground and lay unmoving there.

'He's dead?' I thought in alarm. 'He's dead now? He's dead after killing me?!'

I decided it would be too dangerous to stick around and crept my way out of there.

A few hours later I was just a little bit away from my hotel when I ran into trouble. This trouble consisted of the fourth gang in the city. Wait... four gangs?!

Then Madison's memories hit me and I remembered that there was a fourth gang. They were called the Hornmasters. And were a bunch of... unicorn supremacists?!

'Oh great.' I thought. 'Just what I didn't need. The pony version of nazis.'

'These guys are bad news.' I thought. 'They believe that unicorns are the Master Race. And that all other beings should serve them eternally.'

'It's a good thing I resummoned my costume.' I thought. 'I decided the protection was worth it. It wouldn't do for me to get outed.'

The gang members stopped and looked at me. They were staring. And gawking too.

"Look at this boys." one of them said. Then looking to me said "It's not Nightmare Night filthy ape. It's not Nightmare Night."

Another one said "You got any money for us you stinkin ape? You got any money on you? You gonna give us some?"

I looked at them and said "And if I don't what will you do?"

The first spoke again and said "Gonna smash your face in you stupid ape."

I looked at them and said "Alright. Come on then. Let's get it over with."

They rushed forward prepared to do violence on me.

I was busy looting the unconscious bodies of the unicorn gang members. They had a lot of bits on them. Since one bit was equal to one dollar I was getting quite a nice haul out of this.

Later I finally stumbled into my hotel room. I heard a gasp and looked up. Before me was a vision of loveliness.

"Sweet Celestia boss!" exclaimed Sunset. "What in the name of Discord has happened to you now? You look like you went a round with the combined forces of the Changeling Empire!"

I just smiled at the sight of Sunset Shimmer. She was really here as my companion. Then I passed out on the floor.