60s spiderman spends one single day in eqeustria
60s Spiderman goes to equestria
One day 60s Spiderman was swinging through a badly animated new york city not giving a fuck about anything, he was recently made a god by the church of old spice and he didn’t give a fuck, in fact it made him give less of a fuck about anything at all but anyway…
He came to a stop on top of a skyscraper in B.A.N.Y.C for a rest, he didn’t give a fuck if the citizens of B.A.N.Y.C he needed a rest but then a portal opened up underneath his feat he was drawn into the portal (which he didn’t give a fuck about by the way) and awoke in equestria on his back
60s Spiderman then sat up right to a face of ponies, then out of the crowded group a small earth pony filly named Applebloom walked up to him and said
“Yer funny lookin “ she said with her hoof pointed at him
He then put his hand out to her and said.
“What do you see in my hand, little one” he said to her in his god like voice
She put her face right into his outstretched hand and came out with a quizzical look on her face.
“er…. Nothing” she said with confusion
“What no fuck, I must of lost it because it seems I. DON’T. GIVE. A. FUCK ”he said with no fuck on his voice what’s so ever.
The ponies all were taken back by his language and called the guards, 60s Spiderman was quickly apprehended by the guards because he didn’t give a fuck.
60s Spiderman was in front of celestias court to be decided to his fate, when asked why he cursed to a minor he answered
“Because I don’t give a fuck”
This apparently caused him to get accused of being a pedophile that he answered.
“Do I look like a give a fuck”
In front of a court room of 50 ponies including the princesses themselves 60s Spiderman stood in the center
“The court is now in session” celestias voice boomed in the courtroom, Spiderman didn’t give a fuck.
“Now Spiderman” celestia paused at the ridiculousness of his name suppressing a giggle.
Spiderman didn’t give a fuck.
“What evidence do you have in your defense” said celestia
60s Spiderman began fishing in his non-existent pockets.
“What are you looking for Spiderman” celestias voice echoed the courtroom.
“Huh, I cant find it” 60s Spiderman said, voice full of confusion.
“What?” said celestia, voice also full of confusion.
“The fuck I’m supposed to give” 60s Spiderman said still not giving a fuck as ever.
Celestia growled at him and Luna just broke out into uncontrollable laughter.
“SHUT UP SISTER” celestias voice boomed in the courtroom, the rest of the courts barely able to suppress laughter.
“Spiderman, I here by sentence you to life imprisonment, what do you have to say about yourself” celestia half shouted while pointing accusingly to 60s Spiderman.
60s Spiderman walked up to celestia and whispered five little words into celestias ear
“I don’t give a fuck”.
60s Spiderman sat down in his cell not giving a fuck, until he heard a clop on the ground, he turned to see princess Luna in the cell doorway.
“Im here to break you out” Luna whispered
“DO I GIVE A FUCK, LOOK DO YOU SEE ANY FUCKS AROUND HERE” Spiderman shouted at the top of his lungs
Luna put a hoof to his mouth and teleported outside of canterlot castle and awaiting him were Billy Mays and the worlds most interesting man
“WE HAVE TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE” shouted Billy mays in his trademark sales voice
“I usually never save people but when I do it has to be you” piped in the worlds most interesting man.
“Yeah but guys, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK” said 60s Spiderman
“This isn’t the world were black Jesus and his old spice is, this is the alternate universe were equestria is friendly and peaceful, you don’t belong here” said Luna putting a hoof on 60s Spiderman’s shoulder
60s Spiderman looked into Luna’s eyes and pulled up his mask up, just above his lips to reveal his blonde beard, just like all gods, 60s Spiderman has a beard and what a beard it was.
He brought his lips to Luna’s and they were locked in a long passionate kiss
“I usually expect things but I didn’t expect that” piped in the worlds most interesting man stroking his beard.
“BLACK JESUS IS GOING TO BE SO PISSED” said Billy Mays in his usual trademark voice.
Luna and 60s Spiderman unlocked lips.
“I give one fuck in the universe and it about you” said 60s Spiderman in a friendly tone, he reached into his nonexistent pockets and pulled out a small box with the single word “fuck” written on it, Luna enveloped the box with her magic and put it in her saddlebag.
“And what ever you do, don’t drop it” 60s Spiderman said full of seriousness
Luna smiled at 60s Spiderman and gave him a quick peck on the lips before teleporting away.
“WHAT ABOUT BLACK JESUS” said Billy Mays
“This is this universes Luna, not our Luna” the worlds most interesting man piped in.
“OH” shouted Billy mays, not in his voice, literally shouted, I know weird right
“lets get out off here before I start giving a fuck about something other than Luna” said 60s Spiderman
The others nodded in agreement and teleported back to B.A.N.Y.C
Meanwhile in the hallways of canterlot castle, Luna was walking down the hall way eyeing the box she received of 60s Spiderman the love of her life, while she was eyeing the box.
“WATCH OUT” pinkie pie shouted down the hallway before crashing into Luna, as soon as this happened celestia appeared from her chambers
The “fuck” box hit the ground with a thump and its lid came off and immediately flames began to envelop celestia and the castle.
“HOW THE BUCK DID THIS HAPPEN” shouted celestia at the top of her lungs
“I got a feeling something like this as happened before” Luna whispered to herself
one hour later the entire world was destroyed and only Luna remained.
Luna sighed.
“BUCK YOU PINKIE” she shouted at the top of her lungs to nopony but as soon as that happened, a heavyset black man in speedoes appeared out of nowhere carrying a bottle of old spice
“DON’T WORRY LUNA, OLD SPICE BODY OUDOER BLOCKER WILL REUNITE YOU WITH 60s SPIDERMAN” he shouted but it appeared natural to luna
“really?” Luna as overjoyed with this news
“YES, ONLY IF ONE OF THREE THINGS HAPPEN”
“what?” said Luna
“ONE: MARINEMARKSMAN READ’S THIS FIC”
“Huh”
“TWO: THIS GETS TWENTY LIKES”
“WHAT?”
“THREE: SKYRIMLEGION GETS METIONED IN OLD SPICE MEN INVADE EQEUSTRIA
“BU- WHAT” Luna was entirely baffled by this, she didn’t have a clue what this guy meant.
“PEACE OUT, P-P-P-POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” he teleported to a different dimension leaving only a single bottle of old spice behind.
Luna went over to the bottle of old spice and crushed it under her hooves
“What do you mean” she whispered to herself.
The contents of old spice began to take shape, Luna was taken back as the contents began to take shape of a man, it was a man with a blue cotton shirt and leather chaps a Stetson also a cow skin jacket and cowboy boots, it was Chuck Norris
“WUT” Luna shouted.
THE END
Read old spice guys invade equestrian and also yourprivatenightmare of fimfiction.net he is fantastic and also marine marksman is a great writer and if its not to much trouble marinemarksmen I would like a mention in chapter 23 three please.
HAIL OLD SPICE
