"Urg... Too much cake." Pinkie groaned as she lay on her bed, setting down a crumb laden plate on the table beside her. "Since when did cake make me feel so icky?" She asked herself, placing a hoof upon her swollen belly as it gargled happily in appreciation of the evening snack.
Okay, so it was not so much a snack. It was more like the final topping on a super-duper, mega, delicious cake. A cake that was in fact not a cake, but a continued consumption of sweet treats that had spanned the entire evening. Still, as icky as it made her feel, she still craved more.
"Urg... Okay, okay. I know you're hungry, but there's not just you who's gonna feel sick if I eat any more." She groaned in protest, rubbing a hoof over her pudgy midsection, before the limb slid weakly towards her tingling thighs.
She supposed she could thank her condition for this rather strange concoction of sickly feelings, emotions, irritating mix of aches, pains and tingling sensations. Well her condition, and too many wild parties, fun, games and the likes. But she loved parties, this couldn't make those feel bad too, could it? She thought what she was going through was supposed by a happy experience. She'd seen Mister and Missis Cake, Shining Armour and princess Cadence all go through the same thing and they'd never complained.
"They weren't so irresponsible." A sour voice echoed within her mind.
She sat up, her stuffed tummy aching in protest at the sudden shift. "What! Who said that?" She asked in surprise, eyes twitching nervously about her room as she hugged her pillow tightly to her chest.
"Does it really matter? If it does, your priorities are in more dire a state then I thought." The voice uttered again, its tone as bitter as lemon frosting.
Wait no, that made frosting sound bad too. Why was this making everything she loved sound so bad? She felt her insides twitch and her stomach growl at the idea.
"Yeah, way too much cake." She groaned, throwing her defensive pillow aside and clutching her aching midsection as cramp bubbled up within. The disembodied voice gave a tiresome groan.
"Are you even listening to yourself?" It snapped.
Pinkie's head rose, then she winced. "If you mean listening to my aching tummy-wummy, then yes! Feels like somepony's doing the pony pokey in there." She moaned as the internal discomfort gargled on for a few moments, before finally diminishing into an almost ignorable ache.
The voice released another tired breath.
"Really, that's all you can think about? No wonder you're sat here all alone, gorging yourself on pointless treats."
Pinkie's eyes fell down onto her swollen stomach, her ears and mane twitching before they fell slightly. Then her eyes narrowed and she looked up.
"Hey, you completely random, disembodied pony voice in my head, I'm not alone. I have my friends." She countered, pointing an accusing hoof to nowhere in particular.
Even so, she could feel her usually joyful emotions beginning to falter.
The sour voice merely snorted.
"Really? When was the last time you saw them, any of them? When was the last time you threw one of your infamous parties or made a savoury dessert that wasn't simply intended to satisfy your own greed?" It snapped in frustration.
"Hey, that last part's not my fault!" She exclaimed abruptly, pointing a hoof to her rounded stomach.
The aching mass gave another slight shiver. The deep feeling was both heartwarming, and increasingly dreadful as she felt it within her.
"It's all completely your fault!" The voice spat, causing her to shiver back like a timid filly.
"You just went on and on, nothing but singing, dancing and Celestia knows what else plaguing your life night after night. Well now you've paid the price. You needed to realise that the world wasn't all about fun and games! You're way too friendly with everypony, and that's why you've ended up like this. Young, alone and lost! But worse of all, it's not only you that will suffer for your incompetence!" It screamed angrily.
Pinkie shivered, her aching stomach twisting with guilt as her mane and ears fell completely flat. The disembodied pony voice was right. She was a fool, to lose and stupid. Parties had become far more than simple fun as she'd gotten older, some stallions looked nicer than others and she couldn't help herself. But it had all seemed like harmless fun at the time.
"Do you even know the father?" That mean, yet unnervingly sensible voice went on.
She closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head before rolling onto her side, curling up, and rubbing her squirming tummy gently.
"Why do I always have to be the stupid pony?" She asked herself, thoughts of the situation spinning in her mind as she felt the warm mass shift under her hoof.
With the exception of the doctor that had given her the news, nopony other than herself knew. Not her friends, family, not even the stallion who would soon be a father, wherever he was.
Not that it would take a second glance to see the change in her appearance now she was more than a few months along. She wasn't big exactly, not yet. But her attitude, health, and recent reclusiveness was something she knew the others didn't associate with the energetic, pink party pony she usually was. She'd paid the price for being such a stupid pony, as would the small mass moving under her trembling hoof. She sniffed, her straight mane catching in her eyes as they began to shimmer.
"I'm sorry little guy" She muttered quietly, her swollen stomach squirming obliviously as she stood and stepped off the bed.
"You're an irresponsible wreck, you have no consideration for that foal, do you? You think just hiding away and pretending that the feeling inside you is just some bad tummy ache will just magically fix everything." The voice declared.
Pinkie wiped her eyes and muzzle with a forehoof, slowly trotting about her bedroom. The new weight of her swollen abdomen rocked between her legs, the unusually heavy motion a cold reminder of what the more sensible part of her usually wild mind was telling her. She wasn't ready for this, a foal was a massive responsibility. She knew that form simply foalsitting Pound and Pumpkin Cake. Yet, that was only ever for a day at most, and she could always ask the others to help her if she needed it, or was willing to accept it. Nevertheless, she knew that task was minor in comparison to her own foal, especially alone and at such a young age. There'd be no ponies coming home at the end of the day to take the newborn off her hooves, no rest in the night when they cried, no more parties, no more fun and games.
She didn't even know how ponies would think about her if they knew. Would they judge her, get mad and shun her? Her stomach gave an agitated shudder, and she paused. There were always other options, but her mind was not adept for lingering in such places, and after mere seconds of the thought's existence within her usually bright and colourful consciousness it began to destroy her. Tears began to roll down her cheeks, far from the usual streaming torrents, yet far more potent. Each slight trickle across her dulled, pink coat felt like a cold scar.
Licking the salty liquid from her face, she felt her stomach kick. Looking back towards the squirming bulge she saw it, the first time she'd seen any evidence of her tiny, little foal beyond the ever growing bump and icky feelings. That small, innocent, little pony reaching out from within her was going to have to pay for her mistakes. Would it love her for that, would she ever see it smile? She thought it was her job to make everypony smile.
What about her closest friends, what would they think? What would they say about her? The stupid, pink party pony, too caught up in all of her fun and games to realise that she was going too far? The pony who had no regard for the foal born of her own irresponsibility? What about the father? Would he even care about her anymore? Or would he simply leave her and his foal alone as he'd seemingly done already? She let out a soft, little whimper, trotting over to the wall.
"I've made a big mistake... I know, but..." She admitted, stopping to stand before a mirror.
Looking back at her from within its shimmering surface was a dull, pink, earth pony mare, her usually poofy mane straight and ears pressed flat against her head. Her blue eyes were quivering and her legs shivered about the squirming mass that was her swollen tummy. Then the doppelgangers image changed. Her gaze became narrowed, eyes sharper than razors. Her legs stiffened like logs, and her stature became unwavering. She looked more hostile than anypony whose ideals all involved making other ponies smile ever should. Worst of all, was the smile she wore. It was sly, cunning and cruel. Pinkie knew smiles, she knew what smiles should look like, and she didn't like the smile her reflection was giving her.
"You've made a big mistake alright." It hissed.
Both it and Pinkie flinched as their rounded tummies kicked once more, the former seemingly frustrated by the disgusting sensation, while the latter desperately tried to cling onto any positivity the movement of life within her summoned.
"Urg... This is disgusting. You're just as bad as he was. I’m ashamed you were stupid enough to be fooled by a stallion that was clearly no more than a handsome face!" The bitter reflection shouted, nudging its swollen stomach with its rear leg in an effort to stop the uncomfortable squirming.
Pinkie sighed again, her reflections sharp eyes digging into her like red hot beams as she stammered.
"It's not all bad, it feels kinda good most of the time, and I... I, I know I can do it. I just want to see everypony smile, and my foal's certainly no expiation." She countered weakly, digging at the floorboards with a hoof.
Her reflection rolled its eyes.
"Really? All you can think about is making it smile? What about feeding it, housing it, loving it...? For Celestia's sake, you still have at least seven months left. What about looking after yourself for all that time!" It screamed angrily, seemingly sickened by the idea of enduring the discomfort for so long.
Pinkie shivered, coiling back like a freighted filly.
"But... I know I can do it... At least, I have to try. It's my mistake and I have to fix it, I know that." She stuttered with a hushed sob.
Her reflection looked far from convinced.
"It's a disgusting inconvenience, and you know you're no better. Just stop pretending you're not some joke mare who hasn't any hope raising her own foal!" It said, stomping a hoof in emphasis within the confines of the mirror, and the whole thing seemed to shudder.
Pinkie's head drooped, her sagging mane falling over her watering eyes. Razing this foal, could she do it? Was she responsible enough to take its life into her own hooves? She looked down at her trembling forelimbs, and the sensation of far smaller versions of such appendages kicking within her made her shiver all the more. All the times she'd foalsit, all the Cutesineras and birthday parties she'd thrown, even foal showers. She swallowed the idea. It was like eating a rock, a rock that tasted fouler than even the worse things she'd ever tried to cram into one of her cupcake recipes.
All she could think about however, was all the smiles that had adorned the faces of colts and fillies in awe of her super-duper party planning, and if not of that, then simply of her. Her eyes narrowed slightly and she stiffened. This would be her foal, the next great thing in her life, more than just simple fun and games. This would be the one great thing to define her. A smiling face to be more then proud of. It would be a pony to love and adore with every aspect of her being.
She looked up sharply, a rather different smile fighting to appear across her muzzle as her mane began to fluff back into its cotton-candy like state.
"Now you listen to me you disembodied pony voice in my head! I may be irresponsible at times, sometimes I don't think about the things I do before I do them, and most of the time I'm in too much of a hurry to care about something for more than a few seconds. But you...!" She tapped a hoof on the mirror firmly.
"You're wrong when you say that I won't love this foal with every piece of my heart, and I love every pony in Ponyville, so that's allot of love for one foal to have!" She exclaimed confidently, determined to send the doubts running, and make way for the good, happy thoughts.
She knew it was her responsibility, a responsibility to take care of the one pony that truly needed her.
"I'm going to be the best mother ever, I'll do it all on my own if I have to because that's what being a friend demands, and I know I have to be more than just a simple friend. I understand that more than you!" She added, pointing a hoof right in the face of her scowling reflection.
Both its, and her stomach twitched, the restless foal within seeming to dance and cheerer in agreement. She grimmest slightly at the fluttering discomfort. No matter what she said, she'd still eaten far too much cake for even her to handle.
"Fine, prove me wrong." Her reflection scoffed, rising a forehoof to its chest defensively.
It paled in comparison to the wide grin Pinkie bore upon her own.
"I will. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." She responded, exercising the almost programmed routine of a pinkie promise with a light giggle.
Her reflection merely "huffed" backing away slightly.
Pinkie let out another warm giggle as she felt the squirming in her tummy, then sat down. Glancing at the shifting mass beneath her soft pink coat, she raised a hoof to it gently.
"Well little guy you may not technically have a daddy, but good old Pinkie Pies goanna be the best mommy in all of Equestria, trust me." She assured the restless bulge, with another light chuckle.
It responded with a firm kick.
“Nice to see you agree” She added, wincing slightly at the sharp feeling.
"Well, I suppose all I gotta do now is tell my friends the good news..." She said. "Even if it's a little late" she added, with a slightly embarrassed expression.
Even so there was still a slight hint of doubt staining her thoughts. No, she couldn't feel that way. She had to be strong! Not for her sake, but for her foals. It was her responsibility. All the fun and games she’d loved may be over for her, but that wasn't to say many more didn’t await the pair of them together.
