The Big Book of Ponies

by Prince Colgate

Rating: everyone
Tags: Lyra, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Romance, Trixie, Bon-Bon, Spitfire, Scootaloo, Random, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, DJ P0N-3, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 13240

My name is Corkscrew, and this is my Big Book of Ponies, a book detailing the information I gathered in the land of Equestria about the various pony inhabitants. From celebrities to orphans, this book has it all!

Published 2011-07-27 04:59:22 UTC
Last updated 2011-07-29 09:50:44 UTC

Chapter 1

Forward:

[ It’s my fourth day in this strange new world. I made first contact with what appears to be the dominant species of this planet, a species of equines. Some of them seem to have wings. They’re intelligent, like humans. Each one of them has a story to tell. I realize quickly that, as a Historian, it’s my job to record those stories. I set out to learn more about the individuals, eager to learn each one of their stories, as well as the different cultures of this planet.

The first thing I notice is three distinct categorizations of Equines. There are what they call Earth Ponies (which is very peculiar word choice, since Earth is the name of my home planet), which have no wings or horns, Unicorns which have horns and can use magic, and Pegasi, which have wings and can fly.

I get this information from a library in a town called Ponyville. The library is built inside a giant tree, which is peculiar. From this point on, I decide to log the stories of each individual equine. I will be recording the stories in this book in order of when I meet the equine. I will get as comprehensive of information as possible before moving on to the next equine. It’s a flawless plan.

My name, for all intents and purposes, is Corkscrew. It’s an unusual name, I came up with a name that sounded similar to other names in this society. Anyways, let us begin. ]

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

Cork’s notes: The first equine I met was a purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle. She was the keeper of the library. It was talking to her that I developed an organized system for recording information. I would start by giving some personal notes, like I am now. Then I would record the Equines specific race, occupation, and the strange symbol on their flank. Next, I would ask the Equine to tell me their life story (couldn’t hurt to try.) Then, in the future, if I learn more about an Equine from other Equines, I will record the new information. My explanation may be confusing, but you’ll get the hang of it.

Name: Twilight Sparkle

Race: Unicorn

Occupation: Library attendant/Student

Symbol: A big star surrounded by smaller stars

Personal account: “Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle. When I was little, I went to the Summer Sun Festival, which is when our Princess, Princess Celestia, raises the sun for the longest day of Summer. There, I was blown away by the beauty of her magical abilities. From that point on, I dedicated my life to studying the arts of magic to be JUST like her. Of course, that was a silly dream, since she’s an alicorn (she has a horn and wings) and is sort of a Goddess. Anyway, I was young and had big dreams. So I practiced magic 24/7. Eventually, my parents enrolled me in Celestia’s school of magic. I was so excited, but I got really nervous during my entrance exam. I had to hatch a dragon egg.

So, I was there with the egg, as nervous as I’ve ever been. Then, suddenly, there was this incredible blast of rainbow energy, which caused me to almost explode in a magical fury. However, Princess Celestia came in and calmed me down, and taught me to control my power. Afterwards, she took me as her own personal pupil! Years later, I pretty much saved the entire world from eternal night and was sent here to Ponyville to study friendship. And, well, here I am!”

Closing Statements: I was amazed at how easy it was to get the Unicorn to talk. I’m hoping all the equines of the land will open up that easily. A few things that interest me: Princess Celestia, alicorns, the Eternal Night Fiasco (my own term), magic, and the studying of friendship. Everything else seemed pretty... Normal, actually. I’m still amazed that the equines speak English.

COLGATE

Cork’s notes: Upon leaving the library, I came across another Unicorn. This one had blue fur and a blue mane, with this really cool looking white stripe through it. Her mane looks kind of like... Toothpaste. And her name’s Colgate. What a strange coincidence.

Name: Colgate

Race: Unicorn

Occupation: Student at Canterlot University, currently studying abroad in Ponyville. (Which I hardly think is far enough from Canterlot to count as abroad... At least not by Earth standards.)

Symbol: Hourglass.

Personal account: “Colgate’s actually my surname. My first name is Atria, but most of my friends just call me Colgate. I’m a time student. You can tell by my hourglass cutie mark that my special talent is time. I’m actually the only student in Mr. Doctor Whoof’s Time 101 class at Canterlot University. I’m here in Ponyville studying the time progression of Equestria in a more tame enviroment... At least that’s what Mr. Doctor said. I’m not actually entirely sure what I’m supposed to be doing here... Don’t telly anypony though.

I first noticed my special talent when I was just a little filly. Ya know, like most fillies do. I was skating, on ice and what not, and suddenly the ice broke and a friend of mine named Bon-Bon fell in. I was there with another friend, Lyra, and we didn’t know what to do. Suddenly, this really weird thing happened, and time basically rewound to right before Bon-Bon fell in, and I was able to save her. Of course, I was the only one who remembered this. Nopony believed me, until I met Mr. Doctor Whoof at Canterlot University, who said I had a very rare gift. That’s about all, I’ve been studying with him ever since. I tell most ponies that I make hourglasses, since ponies don’t believe me when I tell the truth. Honestly, I’m not sure why I told you the truth, I don’t even know who... Or what you are.”

Closing Statements: It seems that there are some Equines (or Ponies as they call themselves) who have incredible powers like none of the others. Including power over time itself. I would be very interested in meeting this Doctor Whoof, so I plan to take the next train to Canterlot. With luck, I’ll meet somepony interesting on the train. One last thing, I’ve learned that the mysterious symbols on the ponies’ flanks are called Cutie Marks, and they represent that Pony’s special talent in life. I will apply this knowledge to future entries.

LYRA

Cork’s notes: Another Unicorn. Odd. It seems that Canterlot is the main home of the Unicorn race, from what I gather. From what I gathered, there are two train routes. One goes from Ponyville, to Fillydelphia, to Appleloosa, and back to Ponyville. The other goes from Ponyville, to Canterlot, to Manehattan, underneath Cloudsdale (the Pegasus city in the sky), then back to Ponyville. I’ve noticed this odd trend of references to my homeworld (Colgate, Fillydelphia, Appleloosa, Manehattan) I wonder what that could mean. I also note that Lyra is one of the friends Colgate mentioned.

Name: Lyra

Race: Unicorn

Occupation: Musician.

Cutie Mark: A lyre (Go figure), though she supposedly is capable of playing any stringed instrument.

Personal Account: “I was raised from a young age to play stringed instruments. I could play the lyre pretty well by age 6, and learned others as I went. I had fierce competition my whole life from this Earth Pony named Octavia. She was a cellist, and she was good. Fierce competition, no doubt. However, unlike her, I had friends. Colgate, Bon-Bon and I have been best friends for years! When we all turned of age, we rode the rails all around Equestria! What an adventure that was. Then Colgate went off to learn to control her time magic, and left us behind. It was sad, but we were happy for her.

Bon-Bon and I remain friends to this day... Really close friends. We live together even. I’m actually on my way back to our home in Canterlot right now. I’m so excited to see her again. Everytime I come home from a long trip like this, she always has a batch of warm, fresh baked cookies waiting, or muffins, or, sometimes, bon-bons. She makes the best bon-bons... Hence her name [She smiled at this point. She seemed to be really fond of this Bon-Bon... Another Unicorn no doubt.] It’s really impressive that she can cook so well, since she’s an Earth Pony and doesn’t have any magic. [I stand corrected.] Well... That’s enough about me.. What about you? What’s your name?” This caught me off guard. She wanted to know about ME? The other two just rambled on until they had to leave... Well, I didn’t want to seem rude.

“My name’s Corkscrew.” I said. “I’m not really from around here.”

“I could see that.” She commented. Luckily for me, about then, the train pulled into Canterlot station. “Oh, well I guess it’s time to go. See you around!”

Closing Statements: I was beginning to think that these ponies only cared about talking about themselves. It’s good to know that they care about other people too, but it makes things difficult for me... I’ll have to think of a backstory... And it would be really helpful if I didn’t stand out so much. Also, I’m now 90% sure that there are lesbians in this society. They aren’t as different from humanity as I expected.

DOCTOR WHOOF

Cork’s notes: Finally, and Earth Pony! I found him in a little office at Canterlot University, no students, just like Colgate said. I must say, he’s certainly an unusual pony... But my encounter with him turned out to be incredibly useful.

Name: Doctor Whoof

Race: Earth Pony

Occupation: Teacher at Canterlot University/Timelord, as he calls it.

Cutie Mark: Hourglass

Personal Account: “Allo! I’m Doctor Whoof. You can just call me The Doctor. Actually, I’d prefer it if you called my The Doctor. Not sure why, that’s just what everypony calls me. I call me that too, still don’t know why... And it’s my life story you want? Well... I was born in Canterlot, a coal miner’s son... And you don’t believe that for one minute, do you? Okay, fine then, the truth. I can tell you’re not from around here. Likely from a different planet. Well, you see, so am I. You may have heard of my species, but you probably haven’t. What are you, a Kaled? A human maybe? [This shocked me. He knew what I was. I just nodded.] Ah, of course. I’ve met humans. I actually spent a good ammount of time with them. I have this thing that can make me look like a human. I’m a Timelord, from the planet Gallopfrey.”

“I’m Corkscrew, from the planet Earth.” I responded... Oddly. I felt the need to converse with this pony.

“Ah, I knew it. However, I really doubt your real name is Corkscrew.”

“I really doubt your real name’s Doctor.”

“... Fair enough. All right then! So, you came to this planet, not entirely sure how, and, being a human, you want to learn everything about it. Oh, I love humans like you. Am I right?” I nod. “Well, I’m guessing then that you’re looking for a way to blend in then?” I nod again. “Then I have just what you need.”

Closing Statements: The Doctor used this device on me called a Chameleon Arch. He said it originally only worked on Timelords, and it’s supposed to wipe your memory, but he’s adjusted it since arriving in Equestria to make it more effective. He gave me some bits so I could make it in the world. I am now Corkscrew the pegasus. I can fly! It feels wise to head to Cloudsdale now, simply because I can... But first, I need some sort of backstory.

CORKSCREW

Cork’s notes: From the name, it sounds as though I bottle wine or something. However, I’ve seen no alcohol in this world yet, so I need to improvise. My story is shaky at best, but it should be enough.

Name: Corkscrew

Race: Pegasus

Occupation: Documentarian (A word I just made up. It means one who makes documentaries.) Doing a documentary on average Pony life.

Cutie Mark: Open book with a quil laying on it

Personal Account: My mother Capscrew and my father Woodscrew were both carpenters. They named me Corkscrew in hope that I would follow in their footsteps. However, I soon discovered that my special talent was in recording the stories of different ponies around the world. So, when I turned of age, I set out to work on my documentary, documenting the individual lives of every pony I could find. [This story works well, since it accurately depicts my true intentions anyway.]

Closing Statements: Now that I have a story, and at least one other... Foreigner I know I can trust in Canterlot, I set out for Cloudsdale, still getting a hang of the whole flying thing. Also, note: Pegasus ponies can walk on clouds. Isn’t that something?

DITZY DOO

Cork’s notes: The first Pegasus I met on my journey to Cloudsdale was a very unusual grey pegasus. She seemed to fly as poorly as I did, and when I tried to talk to her, she just mumbled about muffins and stuff I couldn’t understand. I took a break a while after meeting her to rest on the ground under a tree, and she showed up and gave me a letter. I used the letter for her personal account.

Name: Ditzy Doo

Race: Pegasus

Occupation: Mail Pony

Cutie Mark: Bubbles (Which seems to have nothing to do with mail delivery.

Personal account: Dear Mr. Screw,

All my life, I’ve never been really good at talking. Because of this, at a young age, they gave me the nickname “Derpy Hooves”. It wasn’t until we started writing letters and essays that I learned I could write so much better than I could speak. Articulating my thoughts into spoken words was always difficult for me, but I could write them down just fine.

It wasn’t long after I learned to write well that I got my Cutie Mark. To this day, I’m not entirely sure what it means, but I think it’s symbolic. A bubble seems like nothing, a little thing that floats away, but when you think about it, it’s so much more. A bubble is a fragile little thing that floats through the air, solely because it’s lighter than the air itself. I think it’s kind of like me. I seem like I’m just a derpy little pegasus, but there’s so much more to me than that.

I loved writing letters especially. I guess that’s part of why I became a mail carrier. I work all around Equestria. I’m not the only mail carrier of course, but a lot of people say I’m the best. I don’t know though. Anyway, that’s essentially my story. Thank you for taking the time to read this [there’s a drawing of a smiley-face].

Love, Ditzy Doo

Closing statements: Ditzy Doo is probably the most interesting pony I’ve met yet. She’s just so... She seems brilliant, though she can barely say anything other than “muffin”. Literally when she gave me the letter, she said “Delivery for the muffins”. When I read that letter, expecting a bunch of random scribbles, it pretty much took my breath away. It was at that point that I remembered why I loved my job so much.

RAINBOW DASH

Cork’s notes: First of all, here in Cloudsdale, I finally found a type-writer that works with hooves. It’s useful, though packing it around is a pain. Due to the influence of magic, this culture seems to be less technologically evolved. I bump into a hot-shot pegasus named Rainbow Dash, who’s here visiting her family. Something about her account seems unusual.

Name: Rainbow Dash

Race: Pegasus

Occupation: Weather Worker (apparently she clears clouds and sets up rain storms and what not. Strange, really. Everything natural seems to be done manually here.)

Cutie Mark: A rainbow lightning bolt coming out of a cloud.

Personal account: “Hey! I’m Rainbow Dash, the fastest, coolest pegasus in all of Equestria! One day, I’m gonna fly with the Wonderbolts, just watch me! Then, EVERYPONY will know how great I am! I won the best young fliers competition a while back. That’s PROOF that I’m the best. I saved lives too! My friend Rarity, and the Wonderbolts themselves. I saved their lives, they HAVE to let me join them someday!

I’m here in Cloudsdale visiting my family. Ya know, my real family. My mother and father and uncles and all that. Yep. I visit them a lot. They write me letters a lot too. They can’t go a day without missing me it seems! Boy does my family love me. They’re the best! The coolest family in Equestria! Well, I gotta get going, gotta visit my family and go fly around some more, like I do! Because I’m the best! Later!” [Then she left]

Closing statements: She seemed to focus heavily on how she was the best flier and had a wonderful family. However, she told me nothing of her actual past. I do have intentions of meeting this pegasus again, and hopefully uncovering the truth. That’s one thing I tend to be pretty good at. I should be a detective, with an hourglass Cutie Mark. Anyway, since my encounter with Rainbow Dash was so brief and chaotic, I don’t even know if it deserves its own full article, but whatever. Every bit of information helps. At least I vaguely know who she is now.

SPITFIRE

Cork’s notes: I’m now staying at the Cloudsdale Inn. The Wonderbolts are staying here too. Turns out they actually live in Canterlot, which I found unusual. Turns out more than just Unicorns live there after all. I figure I should try to talk to them, get their stories and all. Since they’re famous, I don’t want to miss this opportunity.

Name: Spitfire

Race: Pegasus

Occupation: Wonderbolt (professional stunt-flier)

Cutie Mark: … I don’t know actually. She always wears her uniform. It has a lightning bolt on the flank, but I don’t know if that’s her Cutie Mark. I never asked her to take it off. I don’t know about pony culture, but I know it’s not natural for a human male to ask a female he just met to take off her clothes.

Personal account: “Well, I’m Spitfire, but you probably already knew that. I’m a Wonderbolt. If we had an official captain, it would either be me or Soarin. Probably me. We usually just both fill the role though.

I was raised here in Cloudsdale, like most Pegasi. I flew sooner and better than anypony in my class. I was sent to Flight School a year early. I graduated Flight School a year early [Go figure] and before long, I was a Wonderbolt apprentice. I had family in the Wonderbolts. My brother, Jetfire, he was the captain when I first joined as an apprentice. He was injured in a flight accident and couldn’t perform anymore, so I stepped up. Before long, I was respected like a captain, but we all still thought of Jetfire as our captain, even though he no longer performed.

Closing statements: I couldn’t get a lot from her, since she had to get ready for a performance, and I never got to speak to any other members of the Wonderbolts, but I was rather interested in some parts of her story. Ideally this Jetfire. I would have to hunt the Wonderbolts down again one day.

A LETTER TO DITZY DOO

Cork’s notes: This is not a usual article, I just feel inclined to document this. I sat down in the Cloudsdale Inn and typed up a letter to Ditzy Doo. Why I did this, I’m not entirely sure. I felt some sort of obligation to respond to that lovely letter from such a... Well, Derpy looking pegasus. I also felt it necessary to meet some new ponies I’ve been told about. Bon-Bon, Octavia, and Jetfire were all on my immediate list. As though becoming a pony has caused me to start thinking like a pony. Go figure.

Letter: Dear Ditzy Doo,

I was thoroughly impressed by your letter and the information in it. It was amusing, and it reminded me why I became a documentarian. To hear and record the individual stories of each individual, to see beyond stereotypes and assumptions, to recognize the fact that every pony I see and meet is a unique individual with their own life. And for this, I thank you. You really are something.

-Corkscrew

OCTAVIA

Cork’s notes: I packed up my type-writer and left Cloudsdale. I caught the train at the station underneath Cloudsdale and headed to Manehattan. This time, I sat across from a grey Earth Pony with a cello case next to her. I was joyful when I found out who she was.

Name: Octavia

Race: Earth Pony

Occupation: Musician

Cutie Mark: A treble cleff. This leads me to believe that music theory works about the same in Equestria. Another strange coincidence.

Personal account: “I was forced to play the cello as a filly. I was raised in Manehattan, and my parents were both high-class musicians. They raised me with Beethoofen and other classical musicians. This aggravated me through most of my childhood, leading me to hate this thing. [She motions towards her cello]

However, all that changed when I was ten years old. My parents took me to this show. An orchestra, conducted by this famous Maestro, who’s now retired, who was known only as The Maestro. They played Beethoofen’s ninth symphony, and it was AMAZING. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard. From that day on, I dedicated myself to music by choice, not because my parents made me. And from that point on, I got so much better. Now, I’m definitely one of the best in Equestria. My only real competition is a unicorn named Lyra. She’s similar to me in many ways, and even though I usually beat her, she’s getting better and better. I respect her as a fellow musician, and would actually really love to perform with her one day.” [ Before we parted, she gave me her address, and told me to write if I wanted or stop by sometime. I didn’t find out as much as I could have, so I’ll probably take her up on that offer... Solely for Documentarying, of course (I made that word up too)]

Closing statements: That was all we had time for. The train arrived in Manehattan. The first thing that crossed my mind was her story compared to Lyra’s. Lyra seemed to envy Octavia, almost malicefully. Octavia seemed to respect Lyra as competition, and possibly a future band-member.

The next thing that crossed my mind was, of course, The Maestro. The only other pony I’d met with a name so vague was The Doctor. The name’s were similar in that neither of them were names, just titles. I made a note of this, eager to one day meet The Maestro.

The last thing that crossed my mind is that my personality seemed to be changing since I’ve become a pegasus. As though the Chameleon Arch changed more than just my appearance. Either that, or the society is rubbing off on me. Either way, I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.

FLAT HAT

Cork’s notes: The first pony to catch my eyes in Manehattan was a young orange Earth Pony selling newspapers. This interested me, because I could have sworn I saw that same pony in Ponyville. I spent several days in Cloudsdale, so it was fully possible for her to come here by train... The only thing that I wondered was why.

Name: Flat Hat

Race: Earth Pony

Occupation: Newspaper salespony

Cutie Mark: A Newspaper (Go figure)

Personally account: I was raised here in Manehattan. I was an orphan. Raised in the Manehattan orphanage. There weren’t many other orphans. Just a few earth ponies and this wild blue pegasus. I never talked to her, she seemed like a hot shot. Either way, I haven’t seen her since I was old enough to leave that place. It wasn’t a TERRIBLE place, better than the streets.

I got a job back in the orphanage as a newspaper salespony. When I grew up, the owner of the stand retired and gave it to me. Recently I hired a young colt to run the shop back in Ponyville, and came here to open a new shop. [Pony’s set up franchises too. Go figure.]

That’s... Pretty much it about me. My life hasn’t been too exciting. Anyway, how about a newspaper?

Closing Statements: I bought a newspaper, it felt like a common courtesy. The paper’s headlines told of Princess Luna’s return to the throne, and the agriculture section told of a rock farm that almost went bankrupt, but was saved by a sudden, unexplained, mass purchase of rocks. The rock farm is said to be the only rock farm left in Equestria. Ran by a stallion named Mutton Pie.

So I added two new ponies to my list to visit. Princess Luna, and Mutton Pie.

FRÉDÉRIC HORSESHOEPIN

Cork’s notes: I decided to take a short break and see a concert. It was a total coincidence that the concert happened to feature Octavia, the musical mare I’d only just met. After the concert, I was able to get backstage and meet her pianist, Frédéric Horseshoepin. I, of course, took advantage of the opportunity to interview him.

Name: Frédéric Horseshoepin

Race: Earth Pony

Occupation: Musician, pianist specifically.

Cutie Mark: Two sets of double eighth notes, one black, and one white.

Personal Account: I was born and raised here in Manehattan. I started taking piano lessons at age 8 by choice, wanting to grow up to be a marvelous pianist. I would say I was successful. Now I perform with Octavia here. Before you ask, no, there’s no romantic involvement. I have a wife. Her name is Bluenote, she is a sousaphone player. She lives in Canterlot. She performs with us when we’re in the area.
Octavia and met Blue and myself about a year and a half ago. She was doing a small, solo performance, and I just loved the idea of helping a younger musician make it in the world, so I took her under my wing... So to speak. [I nodded. They had to get going, so I said good-bye to Frédéric Horseshoepin, and Octavia of course.]

Closing Statements: Frédéric Horseshoepin seemed alright. Not my favorite. Not the most interesting story either. Octavia continues to interest me though. I feel like I can learn more from her in the future. I will definitely try to speak to her again... Completeley professionally of course, for the sake of my research... Go figure.
Coming soon: Rainbow Dash Part 2, Scootaloo, Soarin, and Mutton Pie, and more!

Chapter 2

THE BIG BOOK OF PONIES
THE TALES OF EVERYPONY

MUTTON PIE

Cork’s notes: It wasn’t too difficult to get directions to the nearby Rock Farm. It was relatively close to Manehattan, which made my job relatively easy. When I arrived, I was greeted by Mutton Pie himself. I introduced myself, told him I was a documentarian and I was making some sort of documentary, and asked him for his life story. Surprisingly, just like everypony else, he obliged (weird how that works.)

Name: Mutton Pie

Race: Earth Pony

Occupation: Rock farmer

Cutie Mark: Rock hammers (Note to self: Cutie Marks tend to be very straight forward.)

Personal Account: I was born on this ‘ere Rock Farm like my father before me. I raised a family
here, three beautiful daughters. There’s Maggie Pie, Blinky Pie, and Pinkie Pie. Pinkie’s called Pinkie because she’s pink. Maggie and Blinky, just good names.

Pinkie done left the farm a few years back. So did Maggie. No idea what they’ve been up to lately. Probably for the best that they leave this place, the farm ain’t doing so well. Not many ponies need rocks no more. This really strange Gentlecolt came by a few days ago and bought a whole lotta rocks. Only reason we’re still in business. Wouldn’t say his name. Just said he were The Doctor. Strange fellow.

This place was real sad before Pinkie happened. She was such a happy lil filly, she made everypony around here feel so excited. Pretty sure that’s her special talent, making ponies happy. Things haven’t been the same since she left. Blinky stuck around to help on the farm. Her cutie mark showed up and it was a rock, guess she’s the heir to the family business.

That’s basically it. No need to talk about my childhood. Nothin’ exciting there. I live here alone now with Maggie. I really don’t know how much longer we’ll last.”

Closing statements: The old stallion seemed to care more about his daughters than anything. I noticed something pretty big missing from his story, somepony he just completely redacted from his story. I would have to hunt down Blinky or Pinkie, since Maggie seemed to be busy with farming... Rock farming... Such an unusual profession.

SCOOTALOO

Cork’s notes: I flew back to Cloudsdale. I was getting better at flying. Much better. I was headed back to Cloudsdale, and that’s when I met this little scamp. She was flying through these little cloud rings. She was just a little filly, and I could tell she wasn’t that great at flying yet. I hadn’t really gotten a chance to interview a child yet. It seemed like a good idea.

Name: Scootaloo

Race: Pegasus

Occupation: Student

Cutie Mark: N/A

Personal Account: My name’s Scootaloo, and one day, I’ll be the fastest, coolest flier in Equestria! Just like Rainbow Dash! Yeah, I was born and live here in Cloudsdale. I have friends down in Ponyville though! Tons of them! Well, two, we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders! On a quest to find out who we are!

“My Dad worked in the weather factory. He died in a horrible Rainbow accident a few years ago... My mother works at the Cloudsdale bakery. She’s a baker. She bakes food. [GO FIGURE!] I wonder if my special talent is one of those things. I’m not a good baker, and I’m sort of been banned from the weather factory ever since the incident with the snowflakes... I SORT OF broke half of the snowflakes in the factory and almost caused a drought... But not quite, so I guess that’s something to be proud of.

Rainbow Dash is the coolest pony ever! She knows what it’s like to not have parents, and she was there for me when I lost my father. She always acts so cool, because she is, but she can be caring too! She’s always been like a big sister to me. Sorry though, I have to go. Don’t wanna keep my mother waiting! Bye, mister! [And she ran off.]”

Closing Statements: Scootaloo was definitely an interesting child. She was so peppy and energetic, even though she lost a parent not too long ago. I can’t say I would be that optimistic at that age. One other thing caught my attention though. She mentioned Rainbow Dash not having parents. I remember Flat Hat telling me about a blue hot shot pegasus at the Orphanage for a few years. Simple deductive reasoning tells me that Rainbow Dash wasn’t in Cloudsdale visiting her family afterall, but was instead visiting a little orange filly. Perhaps it’s time I meet up with Rainbow Dash again.

SOARIN

Cork’s notes: In an attempt to locate Rainbow Dash, I went to the Wonderbolts performance in Cloudsdale. For living in Canterlot, they sure spent a lot of time here in Cloudsdale. Unfortunately, no sign of Rainbow Dash. Afterwards I checked into the Cloudsdale Inn. Of course, the Wonderbolts were staying there as well. In fairness, there weren’t many other places to stay. It was at this point that I realized I was going to need money soon. I guess that would mean I would need a real job... Oh dear.

Anyway, so, Cloudsdale Inn, the Wonderbolts. I take advantage of the situation to get an interview with another member of the Wonderbolts, Soarin. A male. (Note to self, a gender section may be useful in future entries.)

Name: Soarin

Race: Pegasus

Occupation: Wonderbolt, performance flier

Cutie Mark: N/A, he always wears his uniform. There is no way I’m going to ask a MALE to take his clothes off. Even if most the males I’ve met are already naked.

Personal Account: “Well, let’s see. I was born in Cloudsdale, like the majority of Pegasi. I graduated Flight School at the normal time, I wasn’t early like Spitfire. [He gives a slightly indignant look] Anyway, I impressed the Wonderbolts by winning the Best Young Fliers competition. I’m a few years older than Spitfire also, so I was a Wonderbolt first. When I was flying with them, Jetfire was still in charge.”

At this moment, curiosity pushed me to do something I don’t normally do. Ask a question. “What ever became of Jetfire?”

“Oh boy” Soarin’s eyes widened. “Jetfire was an amazing Pony. Faster, braver, and more agile than any I’d ever seen. But... There was an accident. Spitfire... She thought she could show him up. She went too high, showing off. There’s no oxygen way up there, ya know? She stayed up too long... She passed out and came plummeting down. Jetfire jumped in and rescued her, but when he caught her, it through him off his balance. He hit the ground and broke both legs and a wing. Spitfire was fine... But Jetfire was done for.

He never fully recovered. It was terrible. He became a recluse, didn’t talk to anypony anymore. Because of the incident, no one wanted Spitfire to be in the Wonderbolts... Except for Jetfire. He insisted she be let in.

Of course, over time, she grew on us. She felt guilty for what happened. She’d become less reckless, more under control. With that, she became more mature. We grew to like her pretty quickly. Now, her and I are the closest of friends.

As for Jetfire, well, he lives near here actually. A small cloud mass to the north, just outside of Cloudsdale. Nopony goes there, he doesn’t talk to anypony. Ever.”

Closting statements:: I feel bad for caring more about Jetfire than Soarin himself. At this point, I’m not entirely sure what to do next. I want to continue my search for Rainbow Dash... Though I also want to find this Jetfire. The main difference is I actually knew where Jetfire was. Ultimately, I decided to head over and pay a visit to this mysterious stallion.

JETFIRE

I found the small cloud cluster relatively easily. There was a medium sized cottage built on it... Not really what I was expecting. I was expecting a glorious cloud mansion or something. Anyway, I summoned up a fair ammount of bravery and knocked loudly on the door. Surprisingly, he answered. Well, for once, just asking for his life story didn’t work exactly. A sort of... Dialogue insued.

Name: Jetfire

Race: Pegasus

Occupation: Retired Wonderbolt

Cutie Mark: Orange Lightning Bolt

Personal account: “Yeah, I’m Jetfire. You clearly already know me, or you wouldn’t be here. I have a question of my own. Answer this, and maybe I’ll talk. Who exactly are YOU?”

The question caught me off guard. It had been a long while since somepony had asked that. “My name’s Corkscrew. I’m a Documentarian.”

“Corkscrew? That’s an odd name for a Documentarian. That’s an odd name in general. I hope you’re not lying to me.”

“No, of course not. I’m Corkscrew the Documentarian Pegasus.”

“Uh huh... Well then. I’m sure you’ve heard all about my accident then?” I nodded. “So, I assume you want to know what I’ve been up to since I retired?” I nodded again. “Nothing. That’s what.”

“... Nothing at all? Really?”

“I responded to a lie with another lie.”

“What do you mean?”

“You lied about your name, so I lied too.”

“... You’re a clever one. Very clever.”

“Quite. So, are you going to tell me the truth then?”

“... No.” Was my only response. He smiled and shut the door. I was Corkscrew now, whoever I was before doesn’t matter. Why should I talk about myself anyway? This book is about Ponies, not humans.

Closing statements: Jetfire retired after his accident with the Wonderbolts. Let it go down in history that he has accomplished nothing at all since he retired.

RAINBOW DASH PART 2

Cork’s notes: I left Jetfire’s cottage feeling slight tinges of regret. Was it really so much for me to just tell him who I was? Yes, it was. I felt a little better when I got to Cloudsdale and saw a familiar blue pegasus. I flagged her down, ready to confront her with everything I knew. It felt pretty cool, it reminded me of this video game back on Earth, where you gather evidence and stuff then present it to people to make them talk. I felt like an investigator. I should have named myself Gummyhooves.

Anyway, back on topic, I confronted her, told her about what Flat Hat said and what Scootaloo had said. It was great, because, just like in that video game, her expression went from all chill and happy, to worried and anxious almost instantly. Score one for Corkscrew. And then, I finally got a good personal account from her... And I can’t say I’d fully expected what I got.

Name: Rainbow Dash

Race: Pegasus

Occupation: Weather Worker

Cutie Mark: Rainbow Lightning Bolt coming out of a cloud.

Gender: Female

Personal Account: “Alright, it’s true, I didn’t have parents. I still don’t... Obviously. I spent some time in the Cloudsdale orphanage, and the Manehattan orphanage, before finally just breaking out and living on my own. I couldn’t stand the confinement. I needed to be free...

The outside world wasn’t as awesome as I’d thought. I had no food, no shelter, nothing. I was alone in the world. Just a filly who was too cool for the rest of the world... [She gives a half-hearted chuckle] I stayed around Manehattan for a while, but eventually headed back to Cloudsdale. This is where I was born, so I considered it to be home.

I couldn’t fly great yet. Yeah, surprising, I know, but I was really young. Still a little blank-flank. It was easy to escape the orphanage, since they don’t really care about us there. But while I was walking to Cloudsdale, I came across this awesome stallion! He was the coolest pegasus I’d ever met! He was fast, he was cool, he was a Wonderbolt! He took me under his wing. He taught me to fly and to be cool and everything. I respected that bright orange stallion like no other!

Finally, I used everything he’d taught me to stand up for a little yellow pegasus who could hardly fly at all. I flew in a race in her honor, and did a Sonic Rainboom! It was SOOOO AWESOME! I... I wanted to tell Jet what had happened, but I couldn’t find him. He was just, gone. I searched for him, but could never find him.... I... I figured he was... Gone...

I didn’t mope though. He wouldn’t have wanted me to. I went on to become the new coolest pony in all of Equestria, just like he was! And one day, I’ll be the captain of the Wonderbolts, just like he was!

Closing statements: I smiled and thanked her for telling her real story. It always felt good to get others to open up to you. It’s one of the best parts of being a documentarian.

There was something I couldn’t ignore though. Cool, orange, Wonderbolt captain named “Jet”? Small world, isn’t it? This confused me greatly... And almost made me wish I HAD given in to Jetfire’s request and told the truth. However, if I could get Rainbow Dash to talk through gathering information, I can do the same to Jet! For I am Detective Gummyshoes!

… Not really, I’m Corkscrew. I find myself rambling a little more, becoming more random. What has this world done to me?

A LETTER FROM OCTAVIA

Cork’s notes: I received a letter at the Inn in Cloudsdale. It was from Octavia. I’m not sure how she knew I was in Cloudsdale, or if she just gave it to Ditzy and told her to find me. Either way, I was happy to receive a letter from sompony I knew.

“Dear Corkscrew,

I found my good friend Ditzy Doo and asked her if she could find you and deliver this letter to you. [One question down] I’m sure she’ll succeed, she’s an excellent mail-mare. Anyway, I have a friend I’m sure you’d like to meet. She’s a little bit... Unusual, but I told her about you and your documentary and she said she’d really like to be part of it.

We’re currently in Canterlot, and we probably will be for quite a while. It would be wonderful if you could meet us there.

Your friend,
Octavia

Closing statements: Alright, I’m famous!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE ON OTHER PONIES

Cork’s notes: I was on the train heading to Canterlot, and it passed through Ponyville. There, a familiar Purple Unicorn boarded the train and sat across from me. I decided to take advantage of the opportunity. This entry is a little different than most other entries. In this entry, I get Twilight Sparkle’s opinion on some of the other ponies I’ve met, or ones I’ve heard of. I didn’t ask about all of them though, just a few particular ponies.

Twilight on Ditzy Doo: “Well, she’s a little... Unusual, but she’s really nice, and a wonderful mail-mare. She also makes the BEST muffins. She tends to crash a lot, due to her wall eyes, but other than that, she’s fantastic!

Twilight Sparkle on Rainbow Dash: “Rainbow can be a little cocky at times, but she usually is actually as good as she says she is. She’s probably the loyalest pony you’ll ever meet, too!”

Twilight Sparkle on Jetfire: “I’m sorry, but I have no idea who that is.” [Go figure... Wait, no, that was actually rather unexpected.]

Twilight Sparkle on Princess Luna: “Princess Luna is in charge of the night sky. A little bit over a thousand years ago, she was overcome by jealousy and turned into the evil Nightmare Moon. She came back recently and was defeated by the Elements of Harmony.”

Closing statements: As usual, the interview was cut short by the train arriving at its destination... Trains move FAST around here it seems. Note to self: Learn more about the Elements of Harmony.

VINYL SCRATCH (AKA DJ P0N-3)

Cork’s notes: I found Octavia just outside of Canterlot University. I’m not entirely sure why, maybe she was just passing by. She was there with her friend, a DJ pony. Quite honestly NOT what I was expecting. I was expecting another high-class musician or something.

Name: Vinyl Scratch, Stage name DJ P0N-3 (Honestly, with a name like Vinyl Scratch, why would you need a stage name?)

Race: Unicorn

Occupation: DJ

Cutie Mark: Two black eighth notes

Gender: Female

Personal account: “YO! I’m Vinyl Scratch! The best DJ pony in Canterlot. Well, the only DJ pony in Canterlot. Not a lot of call for DJs around here really. Anyway, yeah, DJ P0N-3! I was born and raised in Canterlot, but moved to Manehattan at a young age for schooling... I was expelled from Canterlot elementary. Absenses, I showed up about four days a semester. Then I went to Manehattan Elementary and found a reason to show up. A friend, Octavia! We were VERY different ponies, but we both had a love for music, VERY different kinds of music though.

We had another thing in common. Neither of us really had friends. Octavia was too stuffy to make many friends, and, well, I was just too cool for everypony! We were best friends until we graduated from Manehattan High School and went our separate ways. I came to Canterlot to become a DJ, but I work outside of Canterlot too. If you ever need a DJ, I’m your mare. Here, I’ll give you my mailing address. [She magicked a pencil and paper from her saddlebag and wrote down a number, and handed it to me. I thanked her, and we parted ways.]

Closing statements: The only thing I really found enlightening was that Octavia clearly DID have at least one friend, despite what Lyra said. This is something worth noting. Also, I would almost say that Octavia does have at least one other friend. A little pegasus named Corkscrew.

… And suddenly I consider the ponies friends. I’m clearly becoming localized, or institutionalized... Or... Ponilized. I made that word up.

CORK’S NOTES

Alright, so, I’m taking a short break from actual entries to outline my actual plans for upcoming entries. Here are things I need to do:

Get information about Jetfire.

Learn about the Elements of Harmony.

Locate either Blinky Pie or Pinkie Pie.

Figure out what exactly a Time Lord is (this one just recently crossed my mind. I think I’d mostly forgotten about The Doctor.)

Find a more efficient way of recording information. Carrying this type-writer around is getting exhausting.

As for number 1, let’s look at what I know already:

He’s Spitfire’s brother

He was Rainbow Dash’s idol

He dissapeared at the same time that Rainbow Dash achieved glory. Perhaps another coincidence, those are rather common in this world it seems.

He is very clever.

That is quite literally all I know, unless I’m forgetting something, or overlooking something huge. I’ll review my notes when I have time.

I’ve been in this world for approximately three and a half months. I am now broke. I plan to return to Cloudsdale and get a job in the weather factory or something.

SNOW SNIPS

Cork’s notes: I went back to Cloudsdale and got a job in the weather factory or something. Everypony in Cloudsdale seems to know me now. It seems word of my work has spread. My boss in the weather factory, Snow Snips, asked if he could be in the book. I agreed, of course. The more ponies the better. Also, if it gets me a job, then it’s fine by me.

Name: Snow Snips

Race: Pegasus

Occupation: Snowflake maker

Cutie Mark: A snowflake (I feel like saying “go figure”, but I feel like I’ve worn that phrase out)

Gender: Male

Personal account: “When I was young, my father was a stunt flier. Not a Wonderbolt, he was part of a different team called Team Blizzard. It was a strange name, but it was started because all of the team members had close relatives who worked in the weather factory. My mother was the head of Snowflake production, and when she retired, the position passed on to me.

My story’s not that interesting, I’m afraid. Team Blizzard competed against the Wonderbolts back when Jetfire was still around. [Always Jetfire. EVERYPONY loves Jetfire] The Wonderbolts won of course, but not by a whole lot! My girlfriend is a Wonderbolt. My family has a history of snowflake makers being with stunt fliers. I just happened to be the first to be with a Wonderbolt. We’ve been together for so long, I think I may propose to her soon! [I don’t dare ask which Wonderbolt in particular he’s referring to. I feel like I already know]

Anyway, here at the weather factory, each snowflake is hand made to be 100% unique! It’s a fun job, and it pays well. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

Closing statements: I have not actually enjoyed the job. It’s actually rather tedious. But the pay is good, and I get three day weekends, so I’m not complaining.

THE TRUTH OF THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY

Cork’s notes: I returned to Canterlot during one of my weekends. I’ve gotten quite good at flying, and now find it easier to fly than to take a train. I headed to Canterlot University, with the intention of visiting The Doctor, and perhaps interviewing some other teachers. However, my intentions changed when I found a book of old Pony-lore at Canterlot University Library, and found an article in it called “The Truth of the Elemenets of Harmony”. I decided to read it. Here’s what it said:

“There are 6 Elements of Harmony. Kindness, Loyalty, Laughter, Honesty, Genorosity, and Magic. Despite most stories, the Elements of Harmony were not objects, but ponies. The six original Elements were as follows (the names are very old Equestrian names):
Kindness: Docterell (Male, Earth Pony)
Loyalty: Jetier (Male, Pegasus)
Laughter: Vinalyia (Female, Unicorn)
Honesty: Octrella (Female, Earth Pony)
Genorosity: Sapphira (Female, Pegasus)
Magic: Celestia (Female, Alicorn)

These are the elements of harmony who combined their powers to defeat Nightmare Moon and imprison her in the moon. In doing so, the power of the elements was lost. However, legend says that a small bit of the power stayed with each one of them, granting them all eternal life. These ponies are now referred to by those who know of them as The Immortals.”

Closing statements: The only name I recognized was Celestia. Princess Celestia, no doubt. I think it’s about time I take my documentary to the highest authority.

Coming soon: Princess Luna, Pinkie Pie, Spitfire Part 2, Bon-Bon, Jetfire Part 2, and more!

Chapter 3

THE BIG BOOK OF PONIES
THE TALES OF EVERYPONY

BON-BON

Cork’s notes: While walking through Canterlot, boldly heading towards the palace, I came across an old friend, Lyra. She had her dear friend Bon-Bon with her. I decided it would be fine to take a few moments to get a personal account from her. I’m hoping maybe her account will shed some light on a few things.

Name: Bon-Bon

Race: Earth Pony

Occupation: Baker

Cutie Mark: Three.... Well.... Bon-Bons.

Personal account: “I was born in Ponyville. I lived in Ponyville most of my life. I worked at a small little Sweets shop in Ponyville. Lyra said I should move away to Canterlot with her, that I could be so much more successful there. As you can see, I took her advice and moved here with her. Now I own my own bakery! It’s so exciting! … Well... I’m not really sure what else to say...

Q&A: (This is a new addition to the format I added during the interview with Bon-Bon, since she didn’t seem to be doing very well by herself. Also, not all entries will have these. They’ll only be there if I actually have questions to ask. Basically, I ask a question and she answers it. Go figure!)

Q: How did you meet Lyra?

A: Oh! Lyra was born in Ponyville too. We were friends at a young age. There was also another Unicorn named Colgate. Lyra and Colgate moved to Canterlot when they started school though.

Q: Um... [I honestly couldn’t think of anything else to ask her. The problem with documenting the lives of everypony is some pony’s stories are pretty average] What happened with you and Colgate on the ice?

A: Well, one time, I was ice-skating with Colgate and Lyra, and Colgate pushed me out of the way before I fell into the ice. Nothing too impressive.

Closing statements: I dismissed her because I couldn’t think of anything else to ask. It could be because my mind was so focused on getting to the palace and speaking with Princess Luna. I figured Luna would be my best bet, since Celestia’s probably busy. Twilight said that Celestia was the one who did all the work, right?

THE... Er.... GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE
(Or something)

Cork’s notes: I was close! So very close! I was just a few steps away from the palace, when suddenly this PSYCHOTIC blue Unicorn appeared. She literally DEMANDED an interview. Perhaps becoming well-known around Equestria has its disadvantages too.

Name: Great and Powerful Trixie, The (I want to believe that this isn’t her real name, or that that’s a ridiculous name, but then I remember my own name, Corkscrew)

Race: Unicorn

Occupation: Travelling performer/”Most magical unicorn in Equestria”

Cutie Mark: Magic wand sprinkling what appears to be pixie dust...

Gender: Female

Personal account: “I am the Great and Powerful Trixie! The most magical unicorn in all of Equestria! I travel the world to show everypony how wonderful I am!”

“... Is that it?” I asked when she got quiet.

“... Yes, pretty much. I just want it to be immortalized in your Big Book of Ponies how amazing I am.”

“I see.... Alright then. I’ll just make a quick note here... “Trixie is the most amazing pony ever” That good?”

“Yes, it’s perfect!”

Closing statements: Most. Useless. Interview. Ever. The only good thing that came out of it was The Big Book of Ponies. Is that what people have been calling my work? I like it. I think that’s what I’ll call it.

Official entry: Trixie is the most amazing pony ever

I’m Corkscrew the Pegasus, and this is The Big Book of Ponies.

PRINCESS LUNA

Cork’s notes: The guards let me in as soon as I told them who I was. Turns out Luna had been expecting me. I’m even more famous than I thought! Well, I was taken to Luna’s chamber, and I asked her for her account. I’ve interviewed celebrities before, but this was my first Goddess.

Name: Princess Luna

Race: Alicorn

Occupation: Princess/Goddess

Cutie Mark: Crescent Moon on a dark purple background

Gender: Female

Personal account: Ever since I returned from the moon, I’ve pretty much been doing most of the technical, behind the scenes work. [Okay, so maybe I got it backwards. I can’t be expected to remember every little detail] It’s been difficult to adapt to the new ways of the world. I had this little incident with a microwave a while back... But I’m starting to get the hang of things.

Believe it or not, I wasn’t always an infinitely powerful Goddess. When I was younger, I had no real responsibilities. Celestia took care of things, aided only by the immortals, since they still had power back then. I actually spent most of my time in what’s now Cloudsdale. There was this Orange maned pony there... He was the greatest. The coolest, fastest, most... Loyal pegasus there was. We were best of friends... Before he had to help banish me.”

“WHAT.” I interrupted. I’d never interrupted a personal account before. Stangely the first one I interrupt is the first one that could have me dead in 10 seconds. “That’s impossible! There’s NO way that you knew HIM a THOUSAND years ago.”

“You mean Jetfire?”

“Yes! How is that possible?”

“... Isn’t it obvious? You’ve done research, I know this. You should know exactly how it’s possible.”

“... Nope, I got nothing.”

“... Then I guess it’s story-time. You see, long ago, when Celestia was born, there were 5 others. The original Elements of Harmony. Docterell, Jetier, Vinalyia, Octrella, and Sapphira. You know about them already, I’m sure.

Even after losing their power when they sealed me away, they maintained the gift of immortality. This is why they became known as the immortals. However, immortality without total power only goes so far. Unnatural causes can still cause death, and they can chose to die as well. However, it comes with a safety net. If they DO die, they’re reincarnated as a completely normal pony. They don’t remember being an immortal of course, but they get to live a normal life.

You probably could guess that if they die again, they just keep reincarnating. They’re always there. Powerless. When I escaped, I assumed the descendants would be the ones to to re-inherit the power, so I took care of them before making my theatrical appearance. Well, the ones I knew of anyway. However, the Elements of Harmony were retrieved and moved on to new ponies.

There are only three of the immortals still alive in their proper state. Docterell, Jetier, and Sapphira. They’ve modernized their names though. Care to guess who they are?”

It didn’t take me long to figure out two of them. Neither of them really shocked me... The third one I took a random guess. “The Doctor, Jetfire, and... Sapphire Shores?”

“No, not Sapphire Shores. I actually can’t help you with Sapphira, she’s hidden herself from me. You’re on your own if you want to find her.”

“Well, as a documentarian, I guess I have no choice!”

Luna gave a light chuckle.

Closing statements: My interview of Luna proved very informative. I think I’m ready to confront Jetfire now.... Perhaps. There is one thing that confuses me. Either way, next stop, Cloudsdale!

SPITFIRE PART 2

Cork’s notes: I arrived back at Cloudsdale. I had to work at that job of mine until The Wonderbolts were back in Cloudsdale... It didn’t take too long. About three days. And that’s when I returned to Spitfire. I knocked on her door and waited. When she opened the door, I pulled out the lore book and shouted “TAKE THAT!” She gave me a strange look, and I cleared my throat, blushing slightly, then proceeded to explain. She gave that lovely, nervous look, very similar to Rainbow Dash’s. I asked her who she really was to him, since she clearly wasn’t his sister. The response I got was not what I expected.

Name: Spitfire...?

Race: Pegasus

Profession: Stunt Flier, Wonderbolt, girlfriend of my boss (That definitely counts as a profession)

Cutie Mark: Still unknown. How mysterious!

Personal account: “For the early years of my life, I honestly believed that Jetfire was my brother. It wasn’t until after his accident that he told me the truth. The immortals in this book... I was one of them, in another life. I was one of the ones who died and came back. I was... Octrella. I was an Earth Pony in another life. [I was 90% sure she was going to say Sapphira... Just when I thought I was starting to understand]

I was murdered. After Nightmare Moon was banished and imprisoned, the Lunar Loyalists killed me in my sleep. All I had from my past life was a necklace. The Necklace of Honesty... Powerless now, of course. Sometimes... I feel like I can remember it... It’s like remembering a dream from years ago though... Nearly impossible...

I don’t know about the others. I don’t even know if Jetfire’s still alive even. All I know is that he took care of me, like his sister, because he knew me in another life.”

Cork’s notes: She got quiet after that, so I said goodbye and left. At this point, I was pretty sure I was ready to confront Jetfire. The one thing that bothered me though, was Sapphira. I was SURE that I’d found her with Spitfire. I would have to just forget about Sapphira for now though, I still had to unmask Jetfire.

SAPPHIRA

Cork’s notes: While heading across Cloudsdale to Jetfire’s cloud cluster, I suddenly had a brainulation (another word I made up, it means I thought of something). Spitfire’s Octrella, which majorly screws up all of my assumptions. I thought for sure I had figured them all out. The names all sounded very similar to the names of people I’d already met... And they all seemed to match up with the right race... Which was fishy.

Going on a strong hunch, I hurried to Manehattan, following an address I’d been given. I waited outside until the grey mare stepped outside. “Hello.” I said, giving her a suspiscious look.

“Oh, hello Corkscrew.”

“Hello, Octavia. No, that’s not your name, is it?”

“...” She gave a smile. “You’re more clever than I thought. Though your name’s not Corkscrew either, is it?”

“No. It’s not.”

“Then what is it? Who are you?”

“How about we make a deal? A question for a question.”

“Sounds good.”

“Alright, I’ve already concluded that you must be Sapphira.” She smiled. “It was clever of you to take the name Octavia, so similar to Octrella. It threw me off, that’s for sure. Then why did you hide?”

“It made things safer for me. I was nervous. I couldn’t defend myself as easily as Docterell could, and I couldn’t flee as easily as Jetier. It probably threw you off that I’m not a pegasus, didn’t it?”

“Yes, and I’m counting that as a question. The Doctor helped you. You used his Chameleon thingy, the same way I became what I am now. Okay, next question, why are there so many connections to my homeland and here. One I just realized, The Doctor, he’s imitating a character from a TV show back on my home planet.”

“Incorrect, they’re imitating him. We immortals have had a very direct influence on your home planet. We keep close tabs on it. I personally have inspired musicians such as Beethoven and Chopin. Now, what is your name.”

“Connor McCann. You supposedly keep a close eye on Earth, I assume you knew of me.”

“Oh, Connor McCann. The historian. Yes, I know all about you. You caused quite a ruckus back on Earth. Convicted of murder, if I recall.”

“You’re good. Now tell me, why am I here?”

“You don’t remember? According to the news articles you escaped from prison and were never seen again.”

“Okay, that was me testing you. I’m not entirely sure how I ended up here either. I was running, and I fell... I’m not sure how, there were no holes or anything, I just fell. I passed out and woke up here.”

“I would wager it was Docterell. He’s pretty much the one who controls the connections between the worlds. You probably accidentally fell through a riff he didn’t close. Last question... Did you do it?”

“No. I was framed.”

“Then I’m guessing you have no intentions of leaving Equestria.”

“That’s correct.”

“Well, I may have figured most of the important stuff out, but I’m a documentarian, I still have so much more to... Document. So I need to get a proper account from... Jetier. But before I go, one last question.”

“Go for it.”

“Would you want to catch dinner with me sometime?”

She smiled. “Oh of course.”

Closing statement: I put that all in Cork’s notes... Since none of it was really a personal account. However, her actual entry in the Big Book of Ponies will look like this:

Name: Sapphira

Race: Pegasus/Earth Pony

Occupation: Musician, demigoddess

Cutie Mark: Formerly 3 cut sapphires, now a treble cleff

Gender: Female

On the next, and final chapter of the Big Book of Ponies: Jetfire Part 2, Princess Luna Part 2, and Princess Celestia!

Chapter 4

I just asked out a demigoddess.....

…..And she said yes!

THE BIG BOOK OF PONIES
THE TALE OF EVERYPONY

CONNOR “CORKSCREW” MCCANN

Cork’s notes: I knew a lot, a lot more than anypont really should. That wasn’t enough for me though! I arrived in Cloudsdale, determined, focused on finally bringing down the Iron Curtain. It was time to reveal the truth.

I arrived at Jetier’s little cloud cluster. I knocked on the door boldly and waited for him to answer. “Oh, it’s you again.”

“Yep. I’m here for some answers.”

“I already told you. I’m not saying anything until you tell me who you really are.”

“Alright then.”

Name: Connor “Corkscrew” McCann

Race: Formerly Human, Pegasus now.

Occupation: Documentarian

Cutie Mark: A book and quill

Gender: Male

Personal Account: “Back on Earth I was called Connor McCann. I was a Historian. My friends called me Screwwy, because they thought I was a little... Well, screwwy. I always believed there was more the the Universe than what we knew, that there was life outside of Planet Earth. Eventually, they came up with Corkscrew, since Screwwy was getting old.

I was found guilty of murder, and sent off to prison. I was at a museum, late at night, learning. I always enjoyed learning. Anyway, as a Historian I had a deal worked out with the museum’s curator that allowed me to go in after-hours, for quiet research.

I was there one night and something caught my eye. It was an amulet, in the shape of the sun. It was beautiful, and I wondered what it was. The plaque read “No one knows the true origins of the Celestial Amulet. It was found alone in a forest many years ago.” I was alone (so I thought), and I had keys, so I opened the case and held the amulet. I examined it... It felt... Celestial, like it was from a different planet.

Then a small group of robbers showed up, after the amulet. Two security guards came in, but the robbers shot them dead. I took the amulet and ran. While fleeing, I fell down some stairs, since it was dark, and dropped the delicate amulet, and it shattered. The robbers fled, and the entire murder and attempted heist was pinned on me.

A few months later, I was sitting in jail. I felt... Strange. It’s hard to describe how I felt, it was like... A longing for something. Finally, I break out of jail and flee into the forest. I fell into a hole of some sort, and woke up in a forest here in Equestria.

I was alone and lost for four days before discovering Ponyville. My natural Historian instinct led me to want to learn more about the cultures and history of this world. Strangely, I was so caught up in learning, I didn’t take the time to be confused about where I was... Nor did I really find it strange that the ponies all just accepted me, and told me their life stories, despite me looking nothing like them.

So yeah, that’s me. Connor “Corkscrew” McCann. Just Corkscrew now. I’m a Pegasus now, and I have no intentions of leaving Equestria.”

Closing statements: When I finished talking, Jetfire smiled. Something about his reaction led me to believe he already knew who I was. Perhaps him and Octavia had some sort of psychic link. I don’t know. Either way, he was finally ready to talk to me.

JETIER

Cork’s notes: After I was done talking, Jetfire welcomed me inside. He had me sit in a chair and he sat across from me. There, he began to tell his story. (Now THIS is history)

Name: Jetier/Jetfire

Race: Pegasus

Occupation: Demigod/Wonderbolt/retired from both jobs

Cutie Mark: Orange Lightning Bolt

Personal Account: “Many, MANY years ago, there were 6 ponies. The first ponies in Equestria. The Elements of Harmony, or the Immortals as we were known to some. Just like the modern elements, the Element of Magic was the most powerful Element, and guided and led the other 5. The Element of Magic is the only Immortal to have kept her proper name, Princess Celestia. I, Jetier, was the Element of Loyalty.

After the elements were used to banish Nightmare Moon, we all lost our magical power completely. Before this, we all had the capabilities of an Alicorn. An Earth Pony like Octrella could fly and walk on clouds, and we were all capable of using magic, even without horns. However, after we used all of our power to seal away Nightmare Moon, the only thing that remained for us was our natural abilities, as well as our immortality.

During the thousand years without Luna, some of us were murdered in our sleep by Lunar Loyalists. I survived because I was still too fast to be caught. Docterell survived because... Well, let’s just say Docterell isn’t somepony you want to mess with. And Sapphira survived by hiding. When Octrella died, I felt it was my duty to keep watch over her reincarnations for years to come.

I soon heard of Nightmare Moon’s return, and the new elements of harmony. Docterell sent word to Celestia and myself that he’d seen the future, and there are 6 new elements of harmony. Docterell always called himself a Timelord, because, even after losing his power, he still has the ability to see (and supposedly travel) through time.

Anyway, upon learning about the 6 new elements, I took it upon myself to go and seek out the one who would one day take my place as the Element of Loyalty. Unfortunately, I found her alone and homeless. I took her under my wing and helped raise her into the perfect Element of Loyalty she is today.

There’s one other thing you should know. It wasn’t entirely the banishment of Luna that caused us to lose our power. We still had plenty of it left. Afterwards, we all agreed that with too much power in too many places, there’s a chance of another incident happening like the one with Nightmare Moon. Because of this, we all (including Celestia herself) agreed to give up some of our power. They went into amulets. The amulets bore our Cutie Marks. In order prevent them from ever being used again, Celestia teleported them all to far away planets, never to be seen again.

Doctoerell thought this was unwise; he believed that if someone from a different planet found one of them, they could use their power for evil. However, Princess Celestia was smart, and made it to where only the pony who the power was taken from could ever use it again.

This is all I can really tell you. If you want to learn more, I reccomend an audience with Princess Celestia herself. Tell her who you are, and I’m sure she’ll allow you in.”

Closing statements: I stood up and waved Jetfire goodbye and headed for the door. However, before I reached the door, I had another... Brainulation. “Jet, tell me, were you REALLY crippled for life that day? Or did you just feel like it was finally time for you to sit back and let the new Elements take over?”

Jetfire didn’t say anything. He just smiled and, for the first time since I’d met him, spread his wings. From this gesture, the answer to my question became very clearly. I nodded and left the cloud cluster.

PRINCESS CELESTIA

Cork’s notes: I arrived back at Canterlot on the first day of my weekend. I can fly pretty quickly when I’m determined. Once again, the guards let me, considering who I am. I’ve become well known by the Immortals, so I’m guessing Celestia is well aware of my existence by now.

When I arrived in her chamber, she greeted me rather kindly. However, she wasn’t alone. The Doctor was there.

“Greetings your majesty.” I bowed. “Hello Doctor. What are you doing here.”

“I’m introducing Celestia to a project I’ve been working on for years. I call it, the Ponynet. It’s a way of connecting everypony in all of Ponyville... Similar to the Internet back on your home planet.”

“It’s a wonderful project.” Princess Celestia stepped in. “Unlike the Internet, it runs on magic and telepathic connections. It’s even possible for it to connect to the Internet of Earth, and other planets as well!”

“So it will open up communications with other worlds, at long last?”

“No, never.” The Doctor answered. “Go on there and say you’re a pony, no humans are going to actually believe you. They’ll think you’re role-playing, or attempting to start an Alternate Reality Game, or something like that. They’ll go along with it most likely, but they won’t actually believe you. That’s the beauty of the human-race!” He smiled.

“Are you here to finally add me to your documentary?”

“Yes, that was the intention.”

“Very well, sit down and I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

Name: Princess Celestia

Race: Alicorn

Occupation: Ruler of Equestria

Cutie Mark: A suspiciously familiar sun (Because I totally haven’t made the connection between the amulets Jet mentioned and the amulet I “stole”)

Personal Account: “For the sake of whoever may read this book, I’m not going to tell you about the things you’ve already heard several times. In fact, most of what I could say is stuff you’ve already learned. Allow to tell you more about the amulets.

The amulets containing the power of the immortals were scattered across all of the galaxy, to six different planets. Mine happened to land on Earth, later to be found by you. When you broke the amulet, you did recieve slight traces of my power. For example, incredible ammounts of charisma. People feel like they can trust you, even though they’ve never met you. I’m sure you’ve noticed this. [I had.]

As you can clearly see, I still maintained a good ammount of my power. The power I have now is natural Alicorn power, which is still rather powerful. Either way, I’m sure the power you got from the amulet caused you to come to this world in the first place.”

Closing statements: I didn’t get a whole lot from Princess Celestia this time. She was busy with Docterell setting up the Ponynet. I was intrigued by this Ponynet. However, there was still one question left in my mind that couldn’t go unanswered. So I confronted The Doctor real quickly before leaving the Palace.

DOCTERELL

Cork’s Notes: I already know plenty about Docterell. In fact, my main intention right now wasn’t to get information about him, but about somepony else. A particular student of his, who happens to have power very similar to his own. Also his ONLY student.

I confronted Docterell and kindly requested that he tell me about his first and only student, Atria Colgate. He obliged. He seems to appreciate me, even though all I really did was uncovered a bunch of concealed information.

Name: Docterell

Race: Earth Pony

Occupation: Timelord/Professor/Demigod

Cutie Mark: Hourglass

Personal account: “Well, Atria’s not entirely Equestrian born. She’s a lot like you actually. Same general story even. Well, other than the whole “murder” thing. She was an archeologist or something if I recall. She found my amulet. Celestia aparently over-estimated the universe. When she made it to where no one else could use the power, she didn’t account for other creatures breaking the amulets.

Of course, breaking them only gives you a small portion of the power. I trained Atria to use her power more effectively over the years. In fact, she’s the reason I invented the Chameleon Arch. Yeah, all that stuff about it only working on Timelords and what not was just a reference to that TV show back on Earth. Guess you’re not really a Sci-Fi buff. Or British. Ah well.

Anyway, Atria came from another planet, far away. A planet very similar to yours. Inhabitted by a race of human-like creatures called Kaleds.... Yeah, then she was here. That’s basically it. You pretty much know everything of importance now. I guess your little book’s finished now, eh?”

Closing statements: My little book is most certainly not finished. I mean, sure, I’ve basically learned the entire truth of this world after being here for less than a year. Not too shabby. Still, there’s so much left to learn. So many ponies out there with such wonderful stories... And some pretty average stories. Still, I plan to hear and document them all! However, I have more important things to focus on right now.

CAPSCREW MCCANN

Cork’s notes: Okay, I know there’s really no way for anyone reading this to tell this, but it’s been approximately 9 months since I last added to this book. I’ve been on a well deserved vacation. Now, you’re probably wondering “who’s Capscrew? Wasn’t that the fake name you used for your mother?” Yes it was. And there is currently nopony in Equestria named Capscrew McCann. Give it time.

Anyway, rewind 9 months, my date with a demigoddess. It went surprisingly well. We had dinner at a small diner in Manehattan, nothing fancy at all. It seemed delightfully out of character for both of us. I think we hit it off pretty well. I mostly think that because of the several dates that followed.

Also, I’m still working at the Weather Factory. I haven’t been working on the documentary at all, and I should be ashamed, but I’ve been very busy. My sincerest apologies and all that.

Anyway, 9 months later, and we’re still seeing each other. I feel kind of bad for her though, because I’m just a normal pegasus, despite my literally godly charisma. Octavia’s still an immortal, despite everything. I don’t know what she’ll do when I’m gone. I’d like to think she’ll continue working on this documentary for years to come. She’s already agreed to help with it. I’m sure her... Immortal... Ness will be helpful. Also, does it matter to me that we’re still technically not of the same species, and we’re both in fake bodies provided by a Chameleon thingy?

…. Nope!

Name: Capscrew McCann

Race: Pegasus hopefully. Could possibly be Earth Pony, since that Chameleon thingy completely changes your entire genetic structure and what not.

Occupation: Documentarian (Hopefully. I would be fine with him being a mail-pony or something I guess.)

Cutie Mark: N/A he’s still sort of a blank-flank.

Personal account: …........ (Get it? It’s silence, because he doesn’t exist yet.)

Octavia’s notes: “Oh, look at that, I get my own section now too! How lovely. I think Capscrew McCann is a fine name. However, I really don’t think it was necessary to do an entire entry just so Cork could brag.

Anyway, yes, I have been seeing Corkscrew regularly for the past nine months. I think I understand now why Jetier stayed by Octrellla for all those years, even after she didn’t even know who he was anymore. Love can really do bizarre things to someone.

There’s nothing else that needs to be said on that topic. I shall be assisting Corkscrew with future entries, since I notice this documentary of his seems to mostly be a collection of his ramblings mixed in with an occasional story about a pony.

… And that’s probably the best part of it.”

Closing statements: So yeah. Nine months. Considering marriage. Doesn’t seem like there’s any good reason not to. I mean, because of my literally godly charisma, pretty much any mare in Equestria would fall for me instantly if I wanted them too. Probably the only mares in the world immune to my godly charm are Princess Celestia and Octavia... And maybe Luna. I don’t know, I never really tried to charm anypony. I should probably try it sometime, just to prove I can...

… The sudden pain to my side inflicted by Octavia just now indicates that I must be rambling again. So I’m just gonna wrap up this COMPLETELY necessary entry. Yep. That’s all. Well, all for this entry, not all for this documentary, because there are still tons of ponies out there, and the documentary can’t end until their stories are all documented...

Another nudge to the side. I really need to stop doing that. Anyway, closing statement, Capscrew McCann, the coolest Pegasus in all of Equestria. Or Earth Pony. Either one works.

Capscrew, signing off. (I’ve always wanted to say that.)