Chapters One Night Only
"How could you do that to me, Rainbow?!" Twilight shouted. She was on the verge of tears, and I didn't feel much better.
"In front of the princesses, in front of my parents, in front of everypony?"
"Twi... I, I didn't think it'd be such a big—"
"No, you didn't think, did you!" she yelled, using her magic to hastily pack her bags. "What a surprise!"
The princess set us up in a super swank tower in the palace. I’d had that night all planned out. An evening doing lame Gala stuff, letting Twilight talk to the princesses, while I'd shmooze a Wonderbolt or two. Then we'd have dinner before coming back here for a little... us time. Twilight once told me that the best laid plans of mice and mares... did something—I can't really remember—but the point is, sometimes stuff goes horribly, horribly wrong, and there's nothing you can do to fix it.
I dodged my stuff being tossed at my hooves. If the redness of her cheeks were any indication, she was more than a little upset. I didn't think she'd react like this, but then again, this was Twilight we're talking about here: the pony who hypnotized the entire town because she thought Princess Celestia was some kind of banishment-happy whack-job who would send her back to magic kindergarten or something for missing a friendship report. She was prone to overreactions.
Okay, so maybe this whole thing was my fault, but it still didn't excuse her blowing up in my face like that, right?
Well, maybe it did, but before I get into that, I should probably back up a bit and tell you how we got here.
Now, if you know me, you know I'm not one of those ponies that get all caught up in mushy stuff. Who has time for that noise when you're training to be a Wonderbolt? I mean, they haven't officially asked me to join or anything, but I can tell they're going to any day now! How do I know? Uhm... I just do, okay! Who asked you anyway?
Like I was saying, being tied down would just hold me back. I didn't need anypony but yours truly, and that's the way I lived. I know what you're thinking: "Dash, you mean to tell me the most awesome pegasus in the history of pegasi has never had so much as a crush?"
Nope. Sure, I've seen a stallion or mare I'd think about taking home, but thinking about it is as far as I'd go. Besides, all that lovey-dovey stuff just gets in the way. It makes ponies do stupid stuff for no reason, and I've seen it! Heck, just look at all the stuff Spike does for Rarity, and she knows she'll never give him anything more than a friendly hug! I kinda feel bad for the little guy, but he's a perfect example! Anyway, let's get things started, shall we?
As much as I hate starting out my story like this, there isn't really any other way to describe it, so just hang with me.
It was a typical Ponyville Friday. Nothing out of the ordinary going on, just your regular, boring, end of the week. I had stopped by Sugarcube Corner, waiting for Pinks to get off work. As good as I was at weather patrol, my entire job only took about three hours, max. That's why I'm usually napping during the day.
While I was waiting for Pinkie outside, I noticed one of the old buildings in the center of town had gotten a paint job, and a new sign out front. I knew she'd be a while, so I trotted over to see what kind of place would be opening up. Yeah, I know it wasn't that exciting, but it's a small town; what else is there to do?
As I looked through the shop window, I noticed some fancy tables, and a bar! Now, I'm not much for drinking—it slows me down, and generally just isn't that good for a pegasus who's trying to retain her crown as the fastest there ever was. Still though, every now and then, a night out with the girls could be fun.
"Whatcha lookin' at, Dashie?"
Looked like Pinkie had gotten off early. I was used to her randomly appearing, so this wasn’t as startling to me as it was to some ponies. "This new place, ever been?" I said. Pinkie usually knew everything that went on in town, so I figured she'd know something.
"Nope, but it opens tonight!" she explained in her usual cheerful tone, "A big fancy pants type from Canterlot opened it," she paused, thoughtfully putting a flour-splattered hoof to her chin. "What was his name again?"
"Fancy Pants," a pony from behind us replied. We turned to see a somewhat familiar stallion. I recognized this guy; he was the one who saved Rarity's rep from ruin by all those snooty Canterlot ponies. Heck, we saved that boring little tea party they were having! Those stuck-up ponies wouldn't have known a good time if it rode them ‘til morning.
"I recognize you two from that wonderful garden party Ms. Rarity threw in Canterlot," he added with a sincere smile. I guess not all Canterlot ponies were snobs, but he was the exception, not the rule. "The grand opening is tonight at nine. Might I extend an invitation to you two and your four friends?"
"We'll be there!" Pinkie and I said in unison. It'd been months since I had a night out with the girls, and to be honest, my routine of work, practice, sleep was starting to wear me down. I needed a night out, and it looked like it was Celestia's Will for us to have one.
"Wonderful! With the Elements of Harmony attending my opening, this cantina is sure to be a success!"
So, even though we sort of volunteered our other friends into going, we were sure they'd have no reason not to. "So Pinks, I'll get AJ and Twilight on board, if you get Rarity and Fluttershy."
"Okie Dokie Lokie!" In a puff of flour and confetti, she was gone. That pony was pretty quick when she wanted to be. Anyway, I knew Twilight would be the hardest to convince, so I went to AJ first. As I flew, I recalled the last time I'd had a few drinks with Applejack.
We didn't go out or anything, it was just us girls and Big Mac sitting in the barn, taking turns on the bottle. Once we were good and sauced, we thought it would be just hilarious to try and put Mac's hoof in some warm water after he'd gone to bed. Long story short, we ended up nearly burning down the barn. I don't drink alone with AJ much anymore.
Anyway, at my normal speed, her farm was a short flight away. She was in the fields as usual, bucking apples non-stop. I've never understood why she cared about work so much. I mean, I get that she wants to keep the farm running and everything, but sometimes I swear she makes up more work for herself just for the heck of it.
"AJ!" I shouted, still a bit above her. She was just an orange speck in a sea of neatly aligned green treetops sprinkled with red dots. I swooped down on her, ready to snatch her hat off her head. She held it tightly with a hoof as I came around and landed in front of her. She was used to my game by now.
"Howdy, Rainbow!"
Applejack was always sweating whenever she was outdoors, probably because if she was outside, she was usually working. She brought a hoof across her forehead and wiped away the moisture before adjusting her hat. "What brings you 'round?"
I wasted no time getting to the point. I was never one for idle chit-chat, and neither was Applejack.
"Remember Fancy Pants?"
"The stallion from Canterlot?" she asked, searching her apple-filled memory while running a hoof through her mane. "Ah reckon so."
"He's opening a new place in town tonight, and he invited the six of us to the grand opening."
A thin smile tugged at AJ's lips. "That sounds like fun," she hummed. "Anypony else goin'?"
"Am I not enough?" I teased. Since Twilight had brought us all together as Elements, I'd gotten to know Applejack a lot better in the past year and a half. She might as well have been my sister at this point, which was just as good as actually having one. AJ'd only pass on a night out with me if she had something serious to get done in the morning.
"Ah suppose," she replied, with a sigh and a smile. "You convince anypony else yet?"
"Pinkie's recruiting Fluttershy and Rarity—not that Rare would need any incentive to hang out with Fancy Pants—and the next mare on my list is Miss Bookworm herself."
Applejack's eyebrows raised knowingly as she gave me a slow nod. "Good luck gettin' her ta leave that library without givin' her a week’s advance notice," she commented.
"You doubting me?" I smirked. She knew better than to issue me a challenge. I knew if anypony could get our egghead buddy to come out, it'd be me.
"Oh, no, not the Rainbow Dash, Ah wouldn't dream of it."
That settled it. Twilight would be coming out with us, and that was final. Even if I had to drag her out of that library by her tail.
"She'll be there," I assured her, "and you better be too. It starts at nine," I said, taking off.
"Alright, see ya then."
This would be the tough part. We all knew Twilight didn't like to break her plans, and she especially didn't like skipping her nighttime readings. Luckily, I had a trump card. She had bailed on us last time we all decided to go out. Something about “important royal business”. More like my new romance novels came in, and I just bought new bedsheets. For somepony who goes on about how today's books are 'nothing but pop culture tripe', she sure does seem to carry a lot of them in the library.
I wouldn't be surprised if half the time I'm over there reading, she's got one of those sappy things hidden in front of her magic theory textbook.
Honestly, I feel bad for Spike. As nuts as Twilight can be sometimes, at least we get a break. He has to live with her. I gotta admit though, it is kinda funny how worked up she gets over the most meaningless things.
About halfway there, I knew I needed to think up a game plan or I'd never convince her to come out. I was thinking maybe something about the princesses showing up, but I didn't want to outright lie to her. I figured if I just explained that her friends wanted to see and have some fun with her, that would be reason enough. I could probably play up the fact that she could squeeze a friendship report out of the evening, if it came to that.
By the time I had my plan, I had made it to her house. Normally, I'd just use the window, but Twilight had gotten into the annoying habit of locking it, so I’ve been using the door lately. Spike answered my knocks, wearing that frilly apron of his. I couldn’t believe he actually enjoyed doing it. No wonder he doubted whether or not he was a real dragon.
"Hey Spike, is Twilight home?"
"Yeah, come on in," he said, stepping aside and closing the door behind me. I could tell Twilight had made her afternoon tea. Whatever kind it was, it always stunk up the place. She didn't seem to mind, but I swear that stuff hung in the air for hours after she drank it. I found my egghead buddy sorting books out of what I guessed was a box of new deliveries.
"Rainbow!" she gasped. "I wasn't expecting you today."
"I know I didn't make an appointment," I replied flatly, "But we're going out tonight, and you're coming with us."
I had learned a while ago that if you gave Twilight an option, she'd usually try to excuse her way out of it, especially if it was a social situation. She was fine if it was just one of Pinkie's parties, because her close friends were usually the only ones invited. Every now and then it’d be a bigger event, but Twilight usually stuck to one of us the whole time. Well, with the exception of that time in Canterlot, but we had pre-gamed pretty heavily before hoof.
“Uh... I can’t... I’ve...”
I knew that look. That’s the ‘I’m trying really hard to think of a good excuse’ face. I had to put a stop to it.
“Twilight, I didn’t ask if you wanted to come with us, I told you you’re coming with us,”
Twilight scoffed. She was about to get all “indignant” on me. Is it weird I know her that well? “I don’t have to do anything.”
“Twilight, you bailed on us last time, and we barely ever get a chance to all hang out together. Didn’t the princess send you here to make friends?”
“Well yes, but—”
“And those friends want to see you!” I interrupted. You had to be firm with Twilight, or she’d just whine her way out of it.
Her ears flattened like clouds against wind shear. I had her now.
"But—"
"No buts, Twilight!" I insisted. She was beginning to come around, I could feel it.
She stamped her hooves nervously, making that “I don't wanna” face I'd expect from one of the Cake twins. "But, you guys always get drinks, and I don't really feel like—"
"You don't have to drink just because we do. Fluttershy doesn't drink, and she's coming with us."
"C'mon, Twilight, you spend too much time cooped up in here anyway,” Spike called from on top of one of the bookshelves. “Go have fun!”
I owed him some gems for having my back on this one.
"Well..." Twilight looked around the room. I knew she was looking for a misplaced book, or an undusted bookshelf, but I bet she knew her “order” obsession made sure nothing was out of place. There was nothing keeping her from going except her own stubbornness. "Okay, I'll go," she sighed. It was actually easier than I thought it would be. "But don't expect me to stay out late! I have to—"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you wouldn't want your books to get lonely," I teased, "Party starts at nine!" I said, rushing out of her window.
I was gonna make that mare have fun if it killed me.
Breakfast At Twilight's
Before I knew it, it was past eight thirty. Tank had food and water and was already giving me that goofy smile. Somehow, it always put me in a better mood.
I remembered when I first brought him home. His slowness had taken some getting used to, but now that I think about it, I wouldn't have wanted a pet as fast as I am. I don't need the competition.
I patted his head, and he jumped back into his shell. He may have been brave for a turtle—I mean, tortoise—but he was still kind of a scaredy-cat.
"Alright Tank, I'm not gonna be back until late, so no parties while I'm gone, okay?"
That same goofy smile. Tank may not have been much for talking, but he was a solid listener, which is just as good. I glanced at the clock again: eight forty-five .
I needed to get a move on. I grabbed a brush Rarity had given me for some reason (birthday maybe? I can't remember) and tried to run it through my mane and tail. You know, it's never until you actually try to brush your hair that you realize how knotty leaving it unbrushed can make it. I could barely get it through my bangs! I didn't even want to try the rest of my mane, so I just left them. Besides, it wasn't like I was trying to impress anypony. Rarity would be wearing some kind of ridiculous high-fashion getup, but the rest of us would just be ourselves.
"See ya, Tank!" I called over my shoulder as I flew out of one of my windows. The wind through my mane was one of the reasons I never bothered combing it. I fly everywhere, so even if I could comb it, it'd just get messed up again. Anyway, I saw most of the girls waiting in the town square and circled down to meet them. I noticed everypony was here, minus a certain egghead.
"Hey guys," I said.
"Howdy, RD." AJ tipped her hat to me. "Ah don't suppose you've seen Twi anywhere?"
"She'll be here, you know how she is with punc—punctu—the word that means she's on time for everything."
Applejack did that sarcastic nod of hers. No, I don't know how a nod can be sarcastic, but this one was!
Twilight would be here. She wouldn't lie to me.
I didn't want to lie to Rainbow, but I just never really enjoyed staying out late. Sure, we stayed out late the time we fought Nightmare Moon, but that was because the sun wouldn't come up until we defeated her! But maybe it was something else. Perhaps a deep seated anxiety about what other ponies thought of me, even when they had told me repeatedly their true thoughts and feelings? Perhaps I should stop reading psychology textbooks for a while.
"Twilight, it's almost nine," Spike said, watching me pace holes in the floor. "you better get going,"
"I know, but are you sure there isn't anything I can help you—"
"Twilight," he groaned, rubbing his eyes in exasperation. "Remember when we lived in Canterlot?"
I stopped pacing and stared at my hooves. I knew where this was going. I figured I could humor him, even if it only bought me a few more minutes of stalling.
"Yes."
"Remember that time you told me you wished your classmates would invite you out with them for hot chocolate or to see a movie or whatever?"
I loved Spike, but sometimes I hated that sharp memory of his.
"Yes, but that was just that one time!"
"Does that make it any less true?"
"... No."
"And now that you have those friends you wanted for so long, you sit here trying to think up reasons not to go hang out with them! What the hay, Twilight?"
I wish I knew why I got so worked up over stuff like this. I've read every self-help book there is on self-confidence in social settings! Unfortunately, theory and practical application are two separate entities. Still, how much longer was I going to be afraid of situations like this? I couldn't very well hide in the library (as appealing as that sounds) forever! Even in science, every variable can't always be controlled, so that means sometimes you must let come what may, right? And what better way to do that than with a night out with my girls?
"You're right, Spike. My friends want my company, and I'm going to give it to them all night long!"
"Well, that's an interesting word choice, but that's my Twilight! Go out there and have fun!" Spike cheered. He may only love a few things in this world, but seeing me happy was one of them, and I'm eternally grateful I've got him to push me when I need it. I marched proudly out the door and down the road, practically daring the night not to go my way!
This was going to be a fun night with my friends—friends I've always wanted, and finally have! I would make my princess and my parents proud, and I might even have a drink! Who knows where the night would take me?
Unfortunately, it seemed the universe seemed to hear my confident dare, and was more than willing to make me regret those last statements.
"Ha! There she is!" I said, waving to her. She even seemed to be in a good mood! Usually when I have to convince her to hang, she isn't nearly this cheerful.
"Hi girls!" she sang. "Ready for some fun?"
We all nodded, galloping toward the bar and kicking up dust on our way.
Remember how I said Rarity would wear something totally crazy to something like this if she knew some kinda Canterlot big shot would be there? Yeah, she didn't disappoint. This hat was, like, twice her size, and I don't know where she got a feather that big but I bet she sent Spike to fight the giant peacock it belonged to!
Once we got to the bar, I was kinda surprised at how many ponies had shown up. It looked like the whole town was trying to get in! There was even one of those velvet ropes that you have to wait behind. We didn't have to wait, of course; our names were on the list.
"Harmony, Elements of?" I asked the bouncer. He checked his clipboard and stepped aside, like I knew he would.
The crowd really thinned out once we got inside. It wasn't loud enough for us to have to shout at each other, but the music was still pretty decent. They had a live Maelic band, which went with the "pub" theme. It looked like all the tables were taken, until good ol' Fancy Pants showed up.
"Ah, you all made it!" he called from behind a few of his waitresses. He strode over, dressed in his sharpest looking coat. I don't say this very often, but that stallion had style. No wonder Rarity wanted to get in his "fancy pants!" Get it? I crack myself up sometimes. Anyway, turns out he had a table waiting for us!
We all took our seats and a waitress in a plaid skirt and frilly top came to take our order. I had already eaten, so tonight I was going to be on the all-liquid diet. I had to be careful, though. Pegasi aren't known for being able to hold their liquor. We're actually the lightweights when it comes to this kind of thing. Not me, of course, but other pegasi for sure.
"I'll have a cosmarepolitan, extra dry," Rarity ordered. She had a thing for girly drinks.
"Apple juice and bourbon if, ya would," AJ said.
The waitress looked to me. "Uh, just get me a hard cider,"
"Hard ciders are two-for-one tonight, is that okay?"
"Yeah, that's cool. Twilight, you want my extra?" No use trying to double hoof. I wasn't trying to party that hard.
"Sure!" she said, a bit more accepting than I thought she'd be. Then again, she did seem more fun than usual tonight, so I just took it as a sign that my amazing persuasive skills had made her realize how awesome I (and by extension, everypony else) am.
"And for you, miss?" the waitress asked Fluttershy. At this point, you're probably wondering why Flutters doesn't drink. It's not because she doesn't like the taste, or anything, it's just that... well, let me explain.
We had all decided to go out to Canterlot one night when everpony had the night off. We had scored an awesome dinner, then we went to some jazz place Rarity wanted to check out that happened to serve drinks.
Free drinks. To mares.
Now, this wasn't Fluttershy's first time with booze, but this was definitely her last. The spot got crowded as the night wore on, and we soon realized we'd lost her! So we searched all over town before looking in the last place we'd thought we'd find her: jail.
The princesses had to come bail her out, and she still won't tell us how she ended up in there. So yeah, we try to keep Fluttershy sober.
"A water, please."
Pinkie ordered a vodka and Redpony, like she needed any more energy. After the waitress left, we started talking.
"Well I for one am certainly glad everypony could make it," Rarity said, staring down Fancy Pants from across the room.
"Why don't you just let him rut you and get it over with?" I replied. It was obvious she wanted a piece; why not just go for it?
"Ugh!" she huffed. "A lady does not simply let a stallion 'rut' her."
Her nose started tilting higher and higher as she went on. Looks like she was in full on snooty mode.
"A lady allows the gentlecolt to make his intentions known, and only then can the courtship begin."
Applejack and I looked at each other, trying to hide our laughter.
"Right, like the time in high school you told us about?" I laughed. Oh, did she turn red after that one!
"I told you that in confidence! I'll thank you not to speak of it!"
"Relax, Rarity, your secret is safe with me." I sighed as the waitress brought our drinks.
"Besides, what would a... what's the word, prude like you know about stallions, Rainbow?" She grinned. She had a few secrets of mine, too.
"I know plenty! I did a lot more than flying at flight school, you know!"
"Right, Gilda was such a charming griffon," she said.
"Girls, enough!" Twilight snapped, using her magic to close both our mouths.
"We came out here to have fun, not to argue, right?"
It's a good thing we're all generally happy drinkers. After a few rounds, everypony was laughing again. I even convinced Twilight to dance with me! Even though she was about as coordinated as a pony being electrocuted, I'd like to think she still had fun.
We may have our differences, but I love those girls and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Well, if the Wonderbolts maybe offered me a ... nah, my friends were better than any blue uniform could hope to be. What good was being famous if you didn't have friends to share it with? Then again...
Anyway, I had a good buzz going, so I made my next drink a water. Before any of us knew it, it was last call. You know the old saying: time flies when you’re having rum! I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes ... anyway, we stayed out 'til two thirty! Even Twilight was still ready to party! I was honestly surprised she was even awake, but I guess staying up late studying Celestia knows what can put you on a weird sleeping schedule.
"Well, looks like Ah better be headin' on back to the farm." AJ yawned. "Ah still got chores and such in the mornin'."
I had nothing to do but sleep, and my cloud bed was calling my name. I was more or less sober by the time we all filed out of the place.
"Anypony seen Pinkie?" I asked.
Rarity rubbed her eyes. "The last I saw of her, she was playing with the band."
Pinkie could play almost any instrument, so nopony was really surprised.
"Well, I'm sure she'll turn up," I replied, catching a yawn myself.
We said our goodbyes before I realized Twilight was trying and failing to do some kind of magic outside the bar.
"Twilight, what are you doing?"
"I'm tryna teleport back t'the libary!" she slurred. I had been giving her my extra drinks, which meant she had kept pace with me. Not a good idea for somepony who barely drinks.
I laughed. After all, how often would I get a chance to see this?
"How about I just fly you home?" I offered.
"What, you don think I can teleport? I've been doin' magic since before you were born!"
"Twilight, I'm a year older than you."
"Pfffttt... so? You think yer so good with yer wings, and yer... well-toned flanks?" She covered her mouth with a hoof. I thought she was about to hurl, but it was out of embarrassment, not nausea.
It was hard to keep from laughing. By Celestia, she's even more adorkable than usual when she's hammered. I knew she'd probably have a terrible headache tomorrow, and who knows where she could end up if she tried to teleport drunk.
"I know you're good at magic, but let me take you home, okay?" I asked, sitting down in front of her. She mumbled something about not being good, but great at magic as she climbed on my back, careful to avoid my wings.
"Are you holding on?"
"Yes."
I took off slowly, only going as high as the trees. It wasn't a long flight to Twilight's place, and I bet Spike would probably already be asleep.
"Oh, wow..." I heard her moan from behind me.
"What?"
"It's so beautiful up here ... you know how lucky you are to fly? I wish I could fly."
I smiled. I bet she did. In fact, I bet most earthbound ponies did, but I liked giving my friends rides. There was just something enjoyable about bringing my friends into my world.
It was about that time I heard her burp, like, three times in a row, rapid fire. I knew what was coming, and hurried my descent.
"Twilight, please don't—"
She did. She lost her lunch, and then some. Most of it missed me, but some still ended up in my mane. Gah, was it gross. And the smell! I don't even want to think about whose house it probably landed on.
I made a pit stop by the river and washed myself while Twilight apologized from on shore.
"I'm so sorry Rainbow... I tried to... not puke on you."
"It's okay, Twilight, it washed out," I said, climbing onto the river bank with my still-hammered friend. "But you owe me, and I won't let you forget this."
"I'm sorry..." she cooed, rubbing the grass beside her with a hoof. "Come sit."
Like I said, I didn't have anything to do the next day, and I could definitely use a few more minutes of entertainment. I sat down next to her as she dipped her hind legs in the river. I could see a shiver run up her back as she motioned for me to do the same.
Having just come out of it, it was pretty refreshing. Not too cold, but not very warm either. We sat in silence for a while before I noticed Twi slowly lean backwards, falling flat on her back on the riverbank, giggling like a school-filly.
"Lean back with me, Rainbow!"
It sounded more like a demand than a request, but I was okay with it. After all, drunk Twilight is pretty funny. I leaned back with her, both of us facing the night sky. You know, I never usually look up, since I'm usually the highest thing in the sky, but away from the lights of town, the stars were amazing!
"Wow..." I gasped softly. I guess that was Twilight's plan all along.
"Pretty, right?" she whispered, pointing a hoof at the big swath of stars in the middle of the sky. It was like a whole band of them cutting across the sky like a... like, uhm... Gah! I'm bad with metaphors. It was bunch of stars, okay?
"What's that called?" I asked, adjusting her hoof to the star band.
"That's the center of our galaxy." She exhaled. "You'd know that if ya read anything besides Daring Do," she teased, poking my side.
"Oh, sorry I don't read textbooks over and over like a normal pony," I wrapped a foreleg around her shoulder and remembered a little secret I'd discovered about little miss bookworm: she was extremely ticklish around her ribs. I'm talkin' like, just a brush against them would send her into a laughing fit. Besides, it wasn't like she'd remember it, right?
"Rainbow, no! S-stop! P-please!" she giggled.
"What's that, Twi? I can't hear you! You'll have to talk a bit clearer than that!" I said as my hooves ran along her side quickly.
Luckily for us, the river was a good distance from town, or she'd have woke up half of Ponyville. Eventually, my hooves got tired and I let her breathe. Afterwards, she kept my hoof around her and even pulled me closer! I didn't know it if was the booze talking or what, but I wasn't about to push her away. Right when I was about to suggest we head home, she hit me with one of those deep questions I should have known she'd start asking if I hung around long enough.
"Hey, Rainbow?" she mumbled, rubbing her cheek against my shoulder. So she gets more affectionate when she's been drinking. Pinkie's the same way. Nothing unusual about that, right?
"What, Twi?"
“I’m sorry I vomited on you.”
“I know, stop worrying about it.”
Why not just tell the sun to stop shining?
"What are you gonna do if you become a Wonderbolt?"
As often as I daydream about it, I've never actually thought about what becoming a famous stunt flier would mean for my friends. I needed to take some time with this one.
"Uhm... well, I'd probably have to practice a lot more, travel around Equestria with the team, but I'd live here in the off-season. Not to mention having to fight off the photographers and the groupies—"
"The Wonderbolts have groupies?" she asked, lifting her head off my shoulder to look at me. If I didn't know any better, I would have swore those purple eyes shone with concern instead of moonlight.
"Uh, I mean I guess they would, but I don't know for sure," I backpedaled. She set her head back down against my shoulder. It was starting to go numb, but I didn't dare move it.
"What about you, Twi? What crazy science dream of yours do you want to happen?"
She nuzzled my side this time, and was even bold enough to throw her other foreleg across my chest. It's a good thing it was dark, because my face was as red as AJ's apples.
"When I was a filly, I would pretend to be a book princess."
I couldn't stop myself from laughing. I mean, come on. A book princess? Only Twilight.
"Don't laugh!" she snapped, rolling her back towards me. I rubbed a hoof across her shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Twilight. I didn't mean to laugh, it's just a book princess is so... you , you know?"
She tilted her head over her shoulder and glared back at me.
"I said I was sorry!" I exhaled, "I promise I won't laugh again."
After a second or two, she rolled back over, though she kept her forelegs folded across her chest.
"Anyway, I was a book princess, and all the ponies loved me and wanted to be my friend because I was so smart."
"Yeah? Then what?"
"I wanted to solve everypony's problems with my intelligence, and then the ponies would want me to be their regular princess, and love me and be my friends forever," she said before yawning. I got the feeling that liquor brought out both filly Twilight and drunk Twilight. Honestly, I felt kinda bad for her. I never had trouble making friends—I was actually one of the cool kids at flight camp. I hadn't ever thought about how tough it must have been for Twilight, cooped up in that castle all day while other foals got to go home to their parents and have a normal foalhood.
"That's a pretty good dream, Twi." She unfolded her forelegs and slung one across me again.
"Yeah, I thought so too. But it was just a silly dream," she sighed.
"Hang on a sec, it's not silly!" I replied, turning face to face with the flushed cheeks and wide purple eyes I'd found comfort in the past half hour. "You've helped Ponyville more times than I can remember with your smarts, and you've got plenty of ponies who would love to call you their friend, and five that do!"
She smiled weakly. "Really?"
"Yes, really!" I said, brushing her mane out of her eyes.
"Thanks, Rainbow," she said with another yawn. Her breath was terrible. Seriously, the entire little moment we'd just had was beaten to death with a stick by that awful breath of hers. I thought it was about time to head back.
"Can we go home now?" she slurred, looking at me with half-lidded eyes.
"Yeah, let's go, it's not a long walk anyway," I said, making sure she could actually walk before removing my wing from across her back.
She laughed, "You were right, Rainbow... I had so much fun tonight!"
I had to admit, I had never seen this side of Twilight before. She usually had one drink, two max. But this time she went all out, and I kinda liked it.
"Told ya you would. When are you gonna start listening to me?"
"When you and Rarity stop arguing!" she laughed. I did too.
"So hey, what did you do in flight school?" she asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You said you knew about stallions 'cause of flight school. Did you let one... rut you?"
No way sober Twilight would have asked that question. Still, I was sure she wouldn't remember any of this, so there's no harm in telling her, right?
"No, I didn't let any stallions 'rut me'. Gilda and I—well—we fooled around sometimes, but it wasn't anything serious."
Twilight gasped, "You, and a griffon? Rarity always told me she thought inter-species relations were too kinky for a 'proper lady'," she said, imitating her over-dramatic gestures.
"Rarity? She's not as 'proper' as you might think."
"Really?" she gasped, sounding pretty interested. Even though I knew she'd never remember this conversation, this wasn't the place to go telling Rarity's secrets. Now matter how... kinky they were.
"Forget I said anything."
Under the pale moonlight, we finally came up on her treehouse in the distance.
"So, you think Spike'll be awake?" I asked as we got to the door.
"Ha, no way, he's usually out by nine," she said, pushing it open and flopping down onto the floor.
"Uh, wouldn't you rather sleep in your bed?"
"No, here is fine," she whispered, almost asleep right there in front of her door. I rolled my eyes and grabbed her underneath her forelegs. I was careful to avoid banging her hind legs on every step, but she probably wouldn't have felt it anyway. Once I got her to bed, I pulled the blanket over her and was about to leave when she stopped me.
"Where you goin'?"
"Home, Twilight."
"No, it's too late. Come lay with me for a second."
I swear, if it wasn't for that tone of hers, I'd have already been gone. Something about the want in her voice just... made me cave.
"Alright, but only for a second, okay?"
I could see her smile in the moonlight, like a foal who'd just convinced her mom to give her a cookie before bed (guess I’m not that bad with metaphors!). She slid over, and I crawled in beside her. Believe me, I had every intention of leaving after I thought she'd fallen asleep. But sometimes, a bed is a bed, and hers wasn't that bad—for something not made of clouds.
Before long, I was out cold, and so was she. The bed was kinda small for two ponies, but she didn't mind.
To be honest... neither did I.
Paper Secrets
I will never drink again. I'll never let Rainbow Dash talk me into drinking! I will never let another hint of ethanol across these lips!
I couldn't remember a single thing past our arrival at the opening. My head felt like a thousand wailing cats had taken up residence between my ears. I rubbed my eyes and rolled over. That's when I noticed a blue wing staring me in the face. It startled me at first, but I breathed a sigh of relief, realizing it was only Rainbow. Then I felt anxiety rise in my chest. Why in Celestia's name was Rainbow Dash in my bed?
The most simple solution was obvious, but I wasn't ready to consider Occam's razor just yet. There had to be a logical, perfectly reasonable explanation as to how she ended up next to me. That explanation would have to wait, however, as my mouth tasted as though I had chewed on a rusty nail all night. I rolled unceremoniously out of bed and made my way toward my bathroom, filling a glass with tap water and greedily sucking it down. I had learned in my studies of anatomy that a hangover is caused primarily by dehydration. The more water you drank, the better you'd feel.
Rainbow was still asleep, though I had expected as much. She was a professional sleeper if ever there was one. The smell of Spike downstairs making breakfast floated upwards. I heard Rainbow stirring, but I figured she'd come down when she was ready. I arrived downstairs to a tall stack of pancakes waiting on the table as Spike snacked on a few gems on the couch.
"Comic books again, Spike?" I asked, already feeling somewhat better.
He glanced up at me. "Have fun last night?"
I laughed. "I wish I could remember." I grabbed a few pancakes and sat at the table.
"Your tea is on the counter." Sweet Celestia, I love Spike.
After a headache-reducing breakfast, I trotted back upstairs to check on Rainbow. No reason to let her half of the pancakes get cold, right?
As I entered my bedroom, I noticed she was awake, laying sideways on my bed while flipping through a magazine.
I didn't think I'd had any reading materials at my bedside as I took a few steps toward her.
Then I realized where she'd gotten those.
I. Was. Mortified .
"Rainbow, what are you reading?"
She glanced at me with a crooked smile before lifting the magazine cover, revealing a mare in a... compromising position. "I never took you to be into mares, Twilight."
I snatched the magazine away from her. Thank goodness for magic. "I'm not! It's just for research purposes!"
"Then why were the pages stuck together?"
I didn't have to explain myself to her. Just what was she thinking, rifling through my things?
"I'll thank you not go through my stuff, Rainbow! Does the word 'privacy' mean anything to you?" I snapped.
"If you wanted to keep them a secret you should've hidden 'em better. I mean, under the bed? What are you, in middle school?"
"That's enough! First you get me drunk, then you sleep over uninvited—"
"Hold on a second!" Rainbow interrupted, hovering off the bed and fluttering towards me. "You invited me to stay here with you, and on top of that, you puked on me last night!"
My ears fell. It hadn't occurred to me that she might have remembered the details of the night before. "I... I did?"
"Yeah, and on some poor sap's house, too!"
The guilt was unbearable. I had made a complete flank of myself in front of who knows how many ponies! What else had I done? Who else had I expelled bodily fluids onto? I never wanted to show my face in Ponyville again.
"Oh Celestia, you can't tell anypony! If the princess finds out, she'll banish me to—"
"Twilight, relax. I'm the only one that knows, and I won't tell anypony. I promise." Rainbow landed softly in front of me. "So, what's for breakfast?"
Rainbow was first to the kitchen table as I poured myself another cup of tea. Sweet black tea always soothes a headache, regardless of cause.
"So Rainbow," Spike asked, "what did you and the rest of the girls get into last night?" Darn him, I knew he wouldn't leave this alone.
Rainbow smiled before shoveling more pancakes into her mouth. "Well, firsht we drank, then we danshed. Twilight's not bad when she looshens up a bit."
It's a good thing Rainbow didn't stay the night all the time, or she'd eat everything in my pantry!
"And then on the way back here, she totally pu—"
"I think that's enough talking from Rainbow! Spike, let her finish her breakfast in peace!" I glared at Rainbow. Mercifully, she just chuckled and continued eating.
Spike shrugged and headed into the kitchen to start cleaning up. After breakfast, Rainbow decided it was about time for her to leave. Who knows what else she had on her schedule! If it kept her from talking about whatever other embarrassing things I'd done the night before, then so much the better.
"So, what are you planning on doing for the rest of your day off?" I asked.
"I dunno... probably go see what AJ is up to. Maybe play some pranks with Pinkie." I walked her to the door as we stopped on the porch. "I don't schedule my every waking minute. You should try it sometime." She gave me a sly grin. I'm sure napping is quite time consuming, but those of us with things to do don't have such a luxury.
"Right, I'll do that as soon as you spend an entire day without napping."
"Hey, that's not my fault!" she shot back defensively. "Pegasi have, uhm... fast metabolisms or whatever and we need to eat and sleep!" I chuckled. Rainbow very rarely won an argument with me.
"Then why doesn't Fluttershy sleep all day?" Her eyes narrowed. Sometimes it was too easy.
"You're the book princess , you tell me."
How... how did she...
That darn sly smile of hers came right back as she flew away. "See ya, Twilight!" she called happily. Looks like she actually had managed to get one over on me. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how she knew about my fillyhood dream. Maybe Rainbow was a bit more clever than I thought.
Twilight acted just like I thought she would. Sure, she had a headache now, but I knew she had fun last night. It'd probably be another month before I got her back out again, though. Anyway, Applejack was probably working her life away in her orchard, so I thought I'd stop by and sneak a few apples.
I spotted her from a mile away, as usual. Hard to hide in a sea of green with a coat like that. I swooped down into the tree in front of her, settling onto one of the sturdier branches.
"Well if it ain't my favorite apple thief," she said, stopping in front of my tree. I plucked an apple from above me and took a bite. AJ usually didn't mind if I ate one, but any more than that and she'd start flinging apples at me with that freaky tail of hers. "Twilight make it back alright?"
"Yeah, not without puking on me, though." I still couldn't believe she'd done that.
AJ chuckled. "Is that right?"
"Laugh it up while you can," I shot back. "You're babysitting her next time,"
"And just how did you not notice her fixin' to hurl?"
"I couldn't see her, I was flying her home."
Applejack raised an eyebrow. For a bumpkin, she was pretty sharp. "Flyin' her home, huh? You sleep with her?"
I couldn't believe she just asked that! Being as close as we were, Applejack and I knew each other's secrets, but for her to assume I'd take advantage of Twilight was plain wrong!
"No, I didn't sleep with her!"
AJ looked confused as I leapt from the tree and squared off with her. "Uh, Ah asked if you slept over with her. You got wax in your ears?"
Wow, that was one heck of a mix-up. I was about as red as the apple I'd just finished eating, and really wanted to change the subject. AJ had other plans.
"Aw, what's the matter, Sugarcube? Ah think you and Twi'd look cute together," she teased, poking me in the chest with her hoof.
"Shut up!" I snapped, turning away from her. I glanced back over my shoulder and scoffed. "C'mon, me and Twilight? What in Equestria would I have in common with her?"
"You ain't got ta have nothin' in common. Ain't you ever heard of opposites attractin'?"
"We aren't magnets, we're ponies. And how do you know Twilight even swings that way?"
AJ smiled smugly. "Ha! So you do like Twilight?"
For a country pony who got easily confused by her own brother's limited math skills, she sure was good at twisting words around.
"No! Gah, this is why I hate arguing with you!"
"Because Ah win?"
"No!" Sometimes it wasn't worth the headache. "Just forget about it, okay?"
"If you say so." She shrugged. Even though she told me she'd let it go, I had a feeling she'd keep this conversation under her hat.
"So what are you up to on your day off?" she asked. Geez, does everypony I know plan out every second of their day?
"I dunno. Maybe practice my stunts, I guess. What are you and Big up to?"
Applejack started down the trail as I hovered after her. "Same as always. Keepin' the farm up to snuff."
I sighed. "Well, have fun with that."
Following Applejack around all day would be about as exciting as watching Twilight read, so I bailed.
Sometimes, it sucks being the most awesome of all your friends. I figured I could hang out with Pinkie, but half the trouble of hanging out with her is finding her. Nopony is ever sure of her exact location at any one time. Twi tried to explain this to me once, but it was all a bunch of big words and weird concepts. How can something exist and not exist at the same time? No wonder she was so high strung. I would be too if I spent all my time thinking about... I dunno, brain teasers for eggheads.
I tried to think of something fun to do as I glided along. It wasn't quite nap time, and I was still full from breakfast at Twilight's. Those were two of my everyday activities crossed off the list right there.
On my way back into town, I realized I was near Fluttershy's place. I figured she might be able to use some help with a stubborn chicken or something, so I circled to land.
The more I think about it, the more weird I think it is for Fluttershy to prefer the ground. I mean, she's a pegasus! The proud owners of all the blue and white above ordinary ponies' heads! But she'd rather live like a ground-pounder. Sometimes I think her wings could fall off tomorrow and she wouldn't even notice.
Anyway, the birds where chirping and the squirrels were doing... whatever it is they do all day. I knocked, only to have that rabbit of hers answer the door. Something about him just rubbed me the wrong way. Fluttershy called from the upstairs, asking Angel who it was, as if he was gonna answer back.
"It's me Fluttershy!" I replied, earning a glare from him.
She hovered down from her loft, a feather duster clutched in her mouth as I stepped inside.
"Oh, hello Rainbow," she said, spitting out the duster and sending a cloud of dull yellow particles into the air. "What's got you up so early?"
"Nothin', just left Twilight's place. I stayed with her to make sure she was okay until morning," I said pridefully. It was at least half the truth!
"That's sweet of you, Rainbow. Was she okay?"
I stretched my legs out and plopped down on her couch. Being hoof-carved and made of logs, it didn't look very comfortable, but Fluttershy had one of the best sleeping couches this side of Equestria. "Yeah, she was fine. She partied a little too hard, though."
"She's lucky to have such a good friend," she mumbled, watering her houseplants.
"Yeah, I'm pretty amazing," I yawned, stretching out on that couch, I figured I'd finally found something to do.
As I was just about to drift off, a spark of green fire exploded in front of me and Fluttershy. It practically scared Flutters out of her coat, but I wasn't scared.
An envelope fell on my belly and next to Fluttershy as I sat up. It had all the fancy royal stuff on it: raised seal, thicker-than-usual-paper, fancy lettering, the works. I opened mine first. Fluttershy was still making her way off the ceiling by the time I'd read it. It was our Gala tickets! I completely spaced on when it was planned this year! It was coming up soon, and I knew I'd need a super cool dress to impress the Wonderbolts this time. Sure, it meant being Rarity's dress-up doll for way too long, but the payoff was usually worth it. I mean, last Gala, Soarin totally invited me to the V.I.P. section to talk with Spitfire! Spitfire!
This was the evening I'd impress the Wonderbolts into an unconditional offer of Wonderbolt-ship.
Attached to the ticket was a note from the princess. It said each of us were invited to bring a friend, relative, or significant other as a plus one! She did this every year, and I never had a reason to use my plus one. My friends always went, and my parents lived too far away. I don't think I have to tell you I've never used the third category.
I noticed Fluttershy opening her letter, and couldn't pass up the chance to tease her a bit. "So Flutters, who's your plus one?"
She turned as red as the stallion on her mind. "Oh! Uhm... I don't know..."
"Really? Does his name rhyme with Big Macintosh?"
Even more red! Gosh, I could make a game out of this!
"Well... uhm... he's nice and all, but I..."
I reclined back on the couch, "C'mon, you two would look cute together! You could sit around all day and just look at each other in silence! Doesn't that sound fun?"
"Actually, I already had somepony in mind, and it's not Big Macintosh. Not that I don't like him or anything..."
I sat up slowly from my back. When did she have time to meet somepony outside of Ponyville? Unless... Oh no!
"Oh. Hey, listen, I like you and everything, Fluttershy, but you're my oldest friend! I would never forgive myself if something came between us and we broke up," I whispered hovering over to her and putting a hoof around her shoulder in support. I bet she was just dying of embarrassment. Sometimes, it's tough being this cute.
I was right. I didn't think the color of the setting sun could look so sad on somepony's face, but by Celestia it sure did.
"Oh dear..." Fluttershy whispered, covering her face with her hoof.
"It's okay! We'll still be friends! That's more important to me than anything!"
She lifted her head out of her hooves to speak. "It's not that. I wasn't talking about taking you."
"Listen, I know where this is—Wait. What do you mean you weren't 'talking about me'?" Who else could she have possibly been talking about?
"The pony I want to take as my plus one. It's not you... I mean, you can still go and meet us there, and I'm sure we'll have a good ti—"
"Whoa, whoa, back up. If it isn't me, then who is it?" I tapped my hoof on the hardwood floor impatiently.
"Well, you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you..."
"What? Is it a princess or something? 'Cause if you managed to wrangle Princess Luna—"
A knock at the door interrupted me. Fluttershy hovered over to answer it. After checking the peep-hole, she opened the door and in walked her beau.
You ever experience a moment that tells you the universe is too busy showering all your friends with awesome stuff to even give you a slight break? This was one of those moments.
"Rainbow, this is the pony I'll be taking to the Gala," she said coyly, like I didn't know who was standing in front of me.
"Hey, Rainbow! I didn't know you and Fluttershy were friends!" the stallion with dark blue hair and piercing green eyes said, throwing his hoof casually over my friend's withers.
"H-hi Soarin."
The Burden of Awesomeness
The Burden of Awesomeness
The Burden of Awesomeness
No. Buckin'. Way.
"We met at one of the Photo Finish's after-parties while I was a model."
Look at that smile on her face. How in Celestia's name did she land Soarin ?
Chill out, Dash, you should be happy for her. She's your friend. There, now I feel happy...
...Wait, no. I feel that other thing. Jealousy.
How in the name of Celestia's cutie mark could Fluttershy have pulled Soarin of all stallions? Sure, she was a model once, but she hardly ever talks! How could he find her so interesting?
I could barely speak. My mouth felt like all the sand in the Samareh desert had been poured into it. I was face to face with one of my idols, and I couldn't even utter a single sentence!
This was so unlike me, it actually hurt.
"I'm here to make Fluttershy lunch, then take her to dinner." He smiled, glancing to her with the confident grin I'm sure is standard issue to every Wonderbolt. "If she's lucky, I may be making her breakfast too."
You've gotta be kidding me! My best friend was not only taking one of my idols to the Gala, but she was also getting rutted by him? This was such noise—I needed a breather.
"Cool, I'm, uh... gonna go to the uh... place. See you guys later!" With that, I was out a window and back into the sky. I'd never have thought I'd catch myself acting like Fluttershy while one of the most desirable stallions in Equestria sat beside her like it was no big deal.
Ugh, now I had to get a hot date. I couldn't let Fluttershy of all ponies show me up!
Think, Rainbow, think! Where can I get a smoking hot pony to be my leg candy for the night?
Hmm... I could have tried for Spitfire, but I didn't want to sleep my way into the 'Bolts. Besides, I'm sure there's probably a rule about that or something. I scratched my head as I flew, no particular destination in mind. I just needed time to figure myself out.
I guess I could take Mac now that Fluttershy is taken. He's the hottest piece in town! Every mare there would probably give their left leg to have his country-ness at their side! That cinches it, time to head to Sweet Apple Acres!
I cut a one-eighty and hauled flank to AJ's farm. It was still early, so I figured I could catch Big Mac still doing his chores. Just as I thought, I spotted him in front of his plow, steadily moving row by row across almost endless plots of dirt. I circled around him, losing altitude until I landed as gracefully-yet-awesomely as possible in front of him. He stopped his pulling and drank in my glory. I gave him a second or two to appreciate it before I got down to business.
"Hiya, Mac!" I said happily. Ordinarily, I'd never give two bits about the things Rarity says, but every now and then I've overheard her telling whoever would listen about the importance of feminin... femininity. I swear that doesn't sound like a real word. Anyway, the gist of her babbling amounted to how a mare should act 'ladylike' if she wanted to catch a stallion's eye.
Now, I wasn't about to get all prissy or put on makeup or any of that, but I thought I could up my chances of landing Big Mac if I batted an eyelash or two. Besides, Rarity was the only one of us who actually cared about going on dates and things like that, so I guess she'd know what she was talking about.
"Howdy, Ms. Dash," he drawled, his wheat sprig bouncing as he spoke.
"Please, Ms. Dash was my mother," I insisted, trying my hardest to soften my voice. A lot of ponies say my voice is... unique for a mare. What they mean by that is it's grating. I was pretty self-conscious about it when I was a kid and even sometimes... Ugh! This isn't about me! Getting back to Mac... "Rainbow is fine."
"Alright then, Ms. Rainbow. What can Ah do fer you?"
I knew Mac was a quiet pony, and generally avoided situations where 'fancy ponies and hoity-toity folk' would be around, as AJ put it. I figured I'd just come right out with it, seeing as how I'm not one for pointless talk, and Mac's not one for any kind of talk.
"Well, the Gala's coming up and..." I had to pause. You ever gone in to something thinking it'll be cake, only to find out your stupid body had other plans? Well I hadn't... until now .
I started to sweat, despite the cool breeze, and I was now aware of my own heartbeat. Still though, I had to press on. "I was wondering whether you'd want to go with me. I heard Fluttershy's already taking Soarin. Can you believe that? Soarin!"
Okay, I was beginning to ramble a bit at this point, but at least I got it out. Now for the moment of truth!
I stared right into those green eyes, waiting for the words I wanted to hear. Honestly, I couldn't tell if it just felt like it was taking forever, or if he really was that slow, but finally he answered.
"Well, Ah can believe Fluttershy's takin' Soarin. She was a model once, ya know," he began, working his wheat sprig in his mouth from side to side. "You're certainly my type, and I would take ya if—"
Yes! I knew it! Who could resist the Dash? Maybe Rarity wasn't full of hot air and weird facial cremes after all! Wait, did he say 'if?'
"—Ah wasn't already asked to attend by another mare."
Seriously?! Who the heck could have beaten me to Big Mac? I know he and I aren't exactly best friends, but most of the other mares in town are too busy swooning to even talk to him!
"O-oh." That came out a lot more hurt-sounding than I intended. He seemed to pick up on it.
"You're a fine young mare, Ms. Rainbow, but you don't need me to tell ya that." He smiled, trying to soften the blow. Ordinarily, I'd hate somepony's attempt at consoling me after a rejection. Typically because Rainbow Dash does not get rejected. Well, no use wasting more of our time, though I just had to know which mare plucked up her courage and beat me to Ponyville's most desirable stallion.
"Thanks..." I said half-heartedly. As nice as he was being about it, rejection still stung. "Who was it?"
"Huh?"
"Who asked you to the gala!" Celestia, Big Mac is slow sometimes...
He smiled like he'd just pulled in the entire applebuck harvest by himself. "Rarity."
Well, when it rains, it bucking pours.
I said goodbye and bailed. How was this so hard?! Do these ponies not know who they're dealing with here? Well, that's all the stallions I know. Sad, isn't it?
Whatever! So there weren't any more available stallions in town. There were still plenty of mares out there! And I bet not all of them got invites to the Gala! I bet I could find one of them to match my hotness, I just had to be persistent, that's all.
Six hours later...
Screw persistence. Not a single mare in the hole-in-the-wall town wanted to go with me! Me ! Maybe it was time to sit down and take a hard look at my flaws and weaknesses, and—wait! What the heck am I talking about?! I'm Rainbow-bucking-Dash! Weaknesses and flaws are for the... uh... weak and flawed! I'm none of those things!
Okay, so all the hot mares and stallions were either taken, not going, or not interested. That still left... nopony. Crap. The only ponies I hadn't asked were AJ, Pinkie, and Twilight. AJ'd probably be too busy selling her apples to worry about a date, and Pinkie, well who knows what she'd be up to.
It looked like Twilight and I were on the same cloud. She'd probably be so far up the Princess's flank she could brush her teeth with her hooves. I headed home, exhausted and with a bruised ego from turndown after turndown. No wonder I never thought about relationships—look how much of a pain in the flank they were to get started!
I landed on my steps to find a package waiting for me. It didn't have a stamp, so Derpy didn't deliver it with her mail. It was square, simple white string around it, wrapped in brown paper with a note attached.
I grabbed the note, flipped it open, and read it.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
As soon as I read that, I knew it was from Twilight.
I feel just terrible for making you take care of me last night, so I asked the Princess to forward me an early copy of the next installment of your favorite series! *Daring Do and the Phoenix Pool . I hope you like it!*
-Twilight Sparkle
No way! This wasn't due out for another month! I took back what I said earlier about her royal obsession and tore open the paper. Sure enough, a brand new Daring Do cover stared back at me. That's when I had a dangerous idea.
Why not take Twilight to the Gala? I mean, we could just go as friends! Friends do that with other friends, right?
I took my book inside and belly-flopped onto my bed, starting on chapter one. I made it all the way through chapter three before I was fighting to keep my eyes open. I set the book on my nightstand and got ready for bed. While I was brushing my teeth, I thought more about going to the Gala with Twilight. I mean, she was certainly cute in a nerdy sort of way.
One of those 'I'm-hot-but-don't-know-it' type deals. But there was one big obstacle in my way. Even though, at this point, I didn't think about Twilight that way , this was how this kind of junk started. Innocent hang out time morphed into more hang out time, which morphed into 'I'm tired, mind if I crash here tonight?' Which would then become the most awkward breakfast ever.
Still, I could control myself. Twilight was a great friend, and getting any closer than that would only serve to mess that great friendship up. It'd be strictly... what's the word for like, but not like like? I can't remember. Twilight probably knew, though. I caught myself smiling at the thought of the way she'd try and explain it to me, using all her big words and stuff while I'd just sit there and nod.
She was always happy to try and teach me something, even though I thought I was done learning once I left flight school.
I decided I'd ask her tomorrow. If she had already gotten a date, I'd lose my mind. I might even take a page out of Pinkie's book and create a date out of flour sacks and rocks. I really hoped it wouldn't come to that.
The morning after my atrocious hangover, I was feeling much better. I still sucked down about four glasses of water, but I had really been taking waking up without a headache for granted. As another beautiful day dawned, I was startled by a letter from the princess rocketing out of Spike's mouth and towards my face. Luckily, I was able to catch the wayward projectile before I suffered a retinal paper cut.
"We really need to tell the princess no letters before nine," Spike groaned, covering his head with his sheets.
I opened the letter immediately and began reading it.
My faithful student,
Visiting dignitaries will be arriving in Canterlot tomorrow night, and as you know, it is customary of the unicorns and the pegasi to welcome them with the traditional display of the aurora magicalis. Ordinarily, Princess Luna leads the unicorns and their pegasi mounts into the upper atmosphere to cast their magic into the skies, unfortunately, she has fallen ill, and will be unable to lead. It is with great urgency that I ask you and a pegasus of your choosing to arrive in Canterlot no later than sunset this evening, as you will be leading the event in place of my sister. I know you will make me proud.
Eternally, Princess Celestia
Had I not already been in bed, I'd have hit my head on the hard floor.
Princess Celestia wanted me to lead the opening ceremony of a diplomatic event? At first I was honored, but this feeling was quickly usurped by terror; I had no time to plan, no time to prepare! She just wanted me to... do it! To just make almost two hundred unicorns and two hundred pegasi fly into the air and fire off magic at the same time! What if I messed it up? What if she decides I'm not a good enough student to be her protege anymore and sends me to the—No, calm down, Twilight. Remember what the therapist told you about spiraling thoughts.
I took a deep breath and counted to ten.
Nope, still terrified. I rolled out of bed and was all set to begin my usual routine of pacing the floor and worrying myself silly when somepony knocked on my front door.
I had actually slept in, so the library technically should have been open by now.
As much as I would have loved to open the door and instruct whoever was behind it to 'get a book and then beat it', I didn't think that would generate repeat business. I trotted down the stairs and opened the door, ready to make up some excuse as to why the library wouldn't be open for another hour or two, giving me time to hyperventilate. To my surprise, it was Rainbow! Just the pegasus I wanted to see!
"Hey Twilight!" she said happily. I stepped aside, letting her inside. "Thanks for the book! I can't believe you got a copy so early!"
"Oh, it was nothing." I blushed. "It was the least I could do after I... uhm... vomited on you..."
Rainbow didn't seem bothered by that part, thankfully. "Don't worry about it. So did you get your Gala invite yesterday?"
I remembered setting them on my nightstand and adding the date to my planner. As usual, the princess had sent me two tickets, but I only ever used mine.
"Yes I did." I needed to change the subject rather quickly. Hopefully Rainbow didn't have anything planned for this evening. I don't think I'd trust a pegasus I didn't know, and I doubt Fluttershy would ever want to go higher than she felt comfortable falling. "Rainbow, are you doing anything tonight?"
A blush fell over her, but disappeared as quickly as it had come. "Uh... no," she stammered. "Why?"
"Well, I got a letter from the princess, and long story short, I need you to spend the night with me in Canterlot," I explained, hoping she wouldn't ask to many questions, because I didn't have many answers.
"Sure, I can go with you," she replied, much to my relief. "What for?"
I walked to the bookshelf and grabbed the appropriate volume. "Are you familiar with the aurora magicalis?" I asked.
"Not really."
I levitated the book in front of her as she scanned its pages for a few moments.
"So, you want me to carry you into the sky so you can do magic?"
"It won't be just us, it'll be about four hundred other ponies joining us up there. You and I will be leading it in. Princess Celestia informed me that since Princess Luna is sick, we will be leading it in her place."
That seemed to seal the deal.
"Us? Leading it?" She grinned. I could tell she was thinking this would look good on her Wonderbolts resume or somthing similar, but honestly I couldn't care less as long as she agreed to help me out.
"I'll do it!" she added. "Where are we gonna stay? I don't have the bits for a hotel."
I waved a hoof dismissively. "Don't worry, I'm sure the Princess will let us stay in the castle."
Dash's toothy grin never left her lips. "Awesome! So when do we leave?" she asked, shuffling happily on her hooves.
"Give me a few hours to research Luna's past ceremonies and we'll be all set," I said, putting the book back on the shelf and scanning the other spines for relevant information.
"Cool, I'm going to get my book from home. Be right back!" she said before flying out of one of my windows.
Truth be told, I was actually looking forward to flying with Rainbow and actually remembering it. The sky was a place unicorn ponies rarely tread without the aid of enchantments or potions, and even then, it wasn't flying. Hopefully Rainbow wouldn't get too carried away on our way into the heavens.
Hopefully.
Wow! Me (and to a lesser extent, Twilight) leading some super important ceremony? That'd impress the Wonderbolts for sure! They'd have to let me in then! In all the excitement, I'd forgotten why I went to Twilight's in the first place. It didn't matter, though, there'd be plenty of time to ask about the Gala tonight.
On top of that, we were staying in the palace! I'd only ever seen the throne room and the tower. I bet the rooms are swank !
I made the quick flight home and grabbed my book, toothbrush and hairbrush. Normally I wouldn't use it, but if I was going to be part of some fancy event, Twilight probably wouldn't let me out of the room unless I brushed my mane. I threw on my saddlebags, put some tortoise chow in Tank's bowl and headed back to Twilight's.
Once I got there, she was already in study mode. I figured I could just wait until after the aurora to ask about the gala. No use trying to distract her from something like this. If the princess asked her to do it, I knew she must have been obsessing since she got word.
I took a quiet seat on the couch next to Spike as he flipped through a comic book. Before cracking open my own book, I grilled him on what this whole thing was about.
"How long has she known about this thing?" I asked.
"She just found out this morning," he replied, watching her bounce from book to book, scribbling notes every now and then before checking and re-checking them.
"Seriously?" I knew she would be freaking out to a degree, but to have something this important dumped in her lap so suddenly was probably pretty scary. I was kinda surprised she wasn't more frazzled than she looked.
"Yeah, she's been on it since she got up," he said, not taking his eyes of his comic. Spike was used to her manic-ness, and honestly, if it wasn't for him talking some sense into her, I bet she'd have destroyed the town one way or another by now.
As I dove back into Daring Do's search for the legendary Phoenix Pool, a weird thought popped into my head.
I remembered the time Twilight had saved me from Discord. Well, not so much saved me, but broke his spell over me. I ran away from her and all my friends, but no matter how fast or far I ran, she didn't give up on chasing me down. None of them did, but without her, all of us would still be the opposites of our elements. It made me wonder why she fought so hard for us in the first place. Not that I wouldn't have if I were her, but... was it her need to save the kingdom and prove to the Princess she was a worthy student, or because she wouldn't let the only friends she'd ever had disappear forever?
I didn't know, but I'd like to think it was because of us. I know that sounds kind of selfish, but I think it's true. I know I'd have chased her down if our roles were reversed. Then I remembered the night we'd shared after the opening of the cantina.
She wanted me to stay with her, in her bed until morning. I know Twilight was drunk, and probably had never been that drunk before, but as the saying goes 'drunken words are sober thoughts.' And then there was that magazine I found...
The more I thought about it, the more I tried to stop. Even if Twi was into mares, there'd be no way I'd ever go for something like that. I mean, we're friends, and Elements of Harmony! If we aren't all harmonious and junk, then the elements probably won't work! What if she and I were fighting and Discord got loose or something and we couldn't use the Elements because of it?
Wow, am I over-thinking this! Twilight didn't like me that way, and I didn't like Twilight, and that was that.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes as I set the book down across my lap.
What was it they said about the Nile being more than a river?
Aurora Magicalis
Ugh, I had no time for any mushy junk. Twilight had to study, and I had to carry her into the sky in a few hours. At first I figured a little warm up couldn't hurt, but then I realized how comfortable Twi's couch truly was (for something not made of clouds).
As I stretched out on her couch, I noticed the mannequin Rarity had given her (and the rest of us, no matter how many times I tried to tell her I didn't want it) for keeping her dresses in 'shape' or whatever was empty. Usually Twilight gets her fancy clothes done way earlier than the rest of us.
"You got a dress for the gala yet?"
She paused her manic bouncing from book to book and looked up. "Oh!" she cried, like she hadn't even thought about it until now. "No, I'll have to get in touch with Rarity after we're done with this."
"Yeah, me either," I answered, glancing back down at Daring Do's progress. That's when I decided to test the clouds, so to speak. "So, you taking anypony this year?"
I swear she almost choked back a laugh. Was the thought of somepony being into her like that really that impossible?
"No, it's just me." She smiled, as though being that much of a shut-in was a good thing. "Spike's been my little gentlecolt for almost every Gala since I moved here."
Well, it didn't look good. It seemed like she was happier not having to worry with a date. But she'd never had a date as potentially awesome as me before, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. After all, how could I sleep at night knowing I didn't even offer Twi the chance to be seen with a future Wonderbolt captain at the social event of the year?
I glanced over at Spike in time to see a quick eye roll. I had a feeling he liked dressing up, but a lot of the Gala was just boring talking, slow, fancy dancing where everypony is all stiff and rigid, and acting like everypony there is better than everypony who isn't. If it weren't for the Wonderbolts, I'd have probably scalped my tickets at the castle gates! Maybe I could relieve Spike of his escort duties this time so he could pine over Rarity or whatever it is he does when I'm not around.
"So, you've never thought about actually bringing somepony else?"
She wrinkled her nose a bit this time before grinning. "Somepony else?" she laughed. "Like who?"
"I dunno." I shrugged "You've never had anypony catch your eye in town?"
"Of course!" she replied quickly, "I just... never have time for introductions,"
Spike leaned over to me and whispered, "Or the guts."
I had always taken Twilight to be the shy type in social situations. Not Fluttershy shy, but she wasn't exactly Pinkie either. I had almost forgotten about that darn brain of hers before she decided to get all 'Sherlock' on me.
She glanced up from her book and looked me over. "Why do you ask?"
"Oh, uh..." I had to think quickly, and I knew a 'no reason' wouldn't get her off my back. "'Cause I'm not taking anypony either."
A few more scribbles on her parchment and she set the page aside to dry. "Good to know we won't be the only ones stag at the gala, huh?"
"Actually, a few of our friends have dates." Though she was buried in her books, I noticed her ears prick up.
"Really?" she asked, her curiosity a weird mix of both interested and disinterested.
"Yeah, Fluttershy is taking Soarin. Like, the Soarin ," I sighed, marking my page and shutting Daring Do across my lap.
"Wow, a celebrity? Way to go Fluttershy!"
"Yeah, and Rarity is taking Big Mac." At the mention of the old workhorse, I noticed her cheeks flush a bit. Mac had that effect on mares.
"Huh, well, he's better than Prince Blueblood, right?" I nodded. I still laugh about that first gala night. I can't believe Rarity actually found a pony more high-maintenence than she was.
"Yeah, I guess."
It would be another few hours before we had to head to Canterlot, and Twilight would probably be buried in her books until then, so I decided to catch up on some sleeping.
While I was asleep, I had an... interesting dream. Twilight and I were in the middle of a field somewhere with a bunch of other pegasi and unicorns. For some reason, I was nervous. No, not nervous. More like 'terrified.' I couldn't tell you why, but I had this overwhelming fear take over—like I was having a nightmare, even though nothing scary had happened. Twilight looked to me, a gentle smile on her face as she asked me if I was ready.
I looked to the sky, and found the source of my fear. A thunderstorm was gathering—covering half the sky. Lightning arced across the sky and the thunder roared across the plains as I turned back to her.
"Uh, are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked. Even I knew I hardly ever used that phrase before. "That storm looks pretty bad..."
"Don't be silly, Rainbow, the sky is clear!" she replied. You know how sometimes in a dream you act like you would as if it were really happening? Well, I did the opposite.
"If you say so, Twi."
It was obvious it wasn't clear but, because of dream logic, I went with it. The next words out of Twilight's mouth should have been a red flag that I was dreaming.
"C'mon Rainbow, don't be a chicken!"
I glared at her. Even in my dreams nopony calls me a chicken!
"Get on," I growled. She climbed on my back, and the rest of the unicorns mounted up as well.
I took off, ripping into the sky as fast as I could. I turned to Twilight and asked where we were going. She leaned over and pointed a hoof directly into the thunderstorm. "Twilight have you lost it?" I shouted back. There was no way she was serious.
"What's the problem?" she asked. I was almost in shock that she would say something so crazy.
"Are you serious?!" I shouted over the winds. "There's a huge thunderstorm over there!"
Twilight squinted into the horizon. "Are you sure? I don't see anything."
This is the part where I should have known I was dreaming, but once again, dream logic.
I looked back to the growing storm, then back to Twilight. "You're telling me you don't see that ?" I pointed to it with a hoof.
"I don't see it, but that's where the Princess wants the aurora!"
I did a double take. How in Equestria could she not see a thunderstorm ?
Before I knew it, the storm had over taken us. The rest of the ponies disappeared, leaving Twilight and myself fighting for our lives in the wind, rain and lightning.
I felt her hooves cling tighter around my neck as she hunkered down against the windshear. We were both soaked after a few seconds, and the winds only seemed to get worse.
"Hurry up and cast the spell!" I yelled.
"I can't see!" she cried back.
"Ya think?!" I snapped. "We're in the middle of a bucking thunderstorm!"
"Hang on, I have to be standing to cast it!" Twilight shouted over the winds.
"You what?!" I could hardly believe my ears. "Twi, that's nuts! You'll get blown off and I'll never be able to find you in this soup!"
"It's okay Rainbow, I know what I'm doing!" she assured me.
It didn't work.
"No you don't!" I screamed back, clinging to her hooves as she tried to stand on my back.
"Rainbow, let go!" she insisted.
"No! I'm not letting you kill yourself!"
I tried as hard as I could to hold her legs, but she ripped them away from me and I felt her stand.
Then, I felt her fall.
"Rainbow!" she cried, as her voice got farther and farther away.
It was the most terrifying feeling I'd ever had—in a dream or otherwise. I swung my head around and frantically looked for her in the clouds, but it was no use.
"Twilight, where are you?" I shouted, trying to fly downwards and catch her before she hit the ground. It was no use. The clouds were too thick, and as the seconds ticked by, I began to realize there was no way she was still falling. I gritted my teeth, and slowly began to descend beneath the clouds until I was being rained on. About a hundred feet up, I spotted a purple thing lying still on the ground. I couldn't go near it, but just knowing that I let her die was enough to tear my heart out.
"Why did you stand up?!" I shouted angrily, tears flowing down both cheeks and mixing with rainwater.
I nearly flopped onto the floor as I woke up startled on Twilight's couch. Spike had given me the rest of the sofa, and Twilight was just finishing up her notes.
"You must have been having an interesting dream!" she commented, glancing up from her notes and giving me a smile.
"Yeah, you could say that." My heart was still racing like I'd actually watched one of my best friends die. Just seeing her alive and unharmed was enough to start calming me down, but I've never had a dream feel that real.
"You were muttering something about not wanting me to stand up," she giggled.
"It was... weird." I sighed, finally getting my heart rate under control. "Ready to go?"
"Almost. The guards should be here soon."
I sat up on the couch, set my book on her coffee table and rubbed my eyes. I stood up, stretching my wings and legs. Normally I'd just fly to Canterlot—no self respecting pegasus should take a cab anywhere .
The sun was starting to set, and I knew we'd be performing the task I just dreamed us messing up. I didn't normally believe in prophetic dreams or any of that noise, but...
No! That's ridiculous. Twilight and I will be fine, I thought. There's no way the Canterlot weather team would schedule a thunderstorm if this thing is planned for tonight.
I took a deep breath and tried to relax. Twilight's been studying for hours; I was sure it would go off without a hitch.
After a few minutes, a knock at the door let us know it was time to head out. As we were leaving, I couldn't help but notice I hadn't heard or seen Spike since I passed out.
"Where's Spike?"
"Rarity came and got him while you were asleep," she replied, loading her saddle bags into the chariot. Two of Luna's guards pulled it while one of Celestia's guards drove. I climbed aboard and we were lifted into the air. It was nice to be in the sky without actually having to work, but it wouldn't replace flying.
It was only a half hour flight from Ponyville, but it felt a lot longer. When we got to the castle, the grounds had all been decorated with the flags of the different countries. We were led to the main doors, and let in without much fuss. The throne room had been decorated like the grounds had been. Where the throne usually sat, there was a long table with a few other ones perpendicular to it. I figured there must have been a banquet they were setting up for.
Twilight and I were whisked away from the throne room and taken to our room. It was a nice high room in one of the towers. Remember when I said I bet the rooms in the castle were swank? I was right on the money! This room was ridiculously fancy. I'm talkin' crystal everything, furniture gilded with gold that looked like it belonged in somepony's grandmother's house, and a freaking fountain. Seriously. In the middle of the room!
"Whoa..." I gasped. I could see Twi's mouth hanging open in my periph. Apparently she'd never seen this part of Canterlot castle either.
"Should you require any additional services, there are guards posted beyond your door," the unicorn butler that had led us up here said before quietly letting himself out. We must have just stared at the room for a few minutes before one of us decided to move.
"This is incredible!" Twilight said in awe.
"Yeah, I feel like we're wasting a fortune just being here," I agreed, trotting past the fountain and checking out the bed situation.
"Uh, hey Twi?" I called to her. The ceiling was so high my voice echoed around the room.
"Yeah?" I could hear her hooves on the marble floor behind me as she walked up. "Oh."
There was only one bed. A gigantic bed, but still just one. "That couch back there looked like it might be comfy, I'll just crash there—"
"Nonsense, Rainbow!" Twilight insisted, waving a hoof. "This bed is big enough for six ponies. I'm sure we'll be okay if we sleep in it together."
I felt the heat rise in my cheeks as I turned away from her. "Yeah, I guess we could..."
I glanced back after I'd gotten myself under control.
"I mean, you don't have to—" she began before I jumped in.
"No!" I said quickly. "I mean, yes! I mean... we can share the bed." I smiled, finally untying my tongue.
"Great!" she chimed, trotting over to it and testing it out. "Oh, wow! I bet this is what sleeping on a cloud is like," she said after she'd hopped up and leaned back into the mattress.
"Pfft, no way," I said, following her lead. "I'll be the judge of th—Dude..." It was better than clouds. It's like somepony filled this mattress with the foals' dreams and angel feathers! I almost couldn't wait for the aurora to be over so I could come back and sleep on this thing!
I climbed up onto the bed with Twilight and laid next to her. There was a very real chance I could have fallen asleep right then and there.
Before I was so lucky, a knock echoed through our room. Twi and I lifted our heads and looked out of the bedroom.
"Come in!" Twilight called. The same butler from before appeared, holding two fancy dresses in his magic.
"Princess Celestia has requested your presence at the banquet in one hour," he explained, setting the dresses over the back of the couch. "It is a formal event, and formal attire is required. Her Majesty has selected these dresses herself, and hopes they are to your liking." He bowed his head and bid us goodbye.
Now, I'm not usually one for wearing fancy frilly clothes, but if the princess wanted us to, I didn't really see another option. I was starving, and I needed dinner.
"Twi, can you help me get this thing on?" I asked, taking a look at my dress. It wasn't anything crazy, but it did match my mane, and I think it went well with my eyes. Not that I care about that stuff.
I don't. Seriously!
Anyway, we popped those dresses on and got a guard escort to the throne room. This time the room was filled with all kinds of creatures from all over the world: griffons, zebra, donkeys, cattle, and a few things I'd never even seen before. We were seated at the royal table, and even the appetizer salad they gave us was one of the best things I've ever put in my mouth.
As a few stragglers filed in, Princess Celestia was announced, and she made her way to the fancy chair next to us. I noticed Princess Luna wasn't around, but it was nighttime, so who knows what she was up to. It took the princess a good twenty minutes to reach the table after having to greet all the dignitaries personally.
Once she sat down, she turned to the two of us.
"I'm glad the two of you were able to attend." She smiled. "I had a feeling I would be seeing you tonight, Rainbow Dash."
I returned her smile. "Thanks, the dress you picked out is great," I answered as Twilight nodded.
"Thank you for inviting us, princess," Twilight said, taking a bite of her salad.
"I thank you for coming. Unfortunately, I would have liked to invite all of the Elements to enjoy the festivities, but I'm afraid the castle is full." She frowned. "Also, I'm sure I don't have to tell you how important the opening ceremony is to set the tone for the rest of the meeting."
I noticed Twilight gulp. The princess could shatter her nerves in an instant if she wanted to. I bet she didn't even realize she was doing it most of the time.
"Yes, Rainbow and I are ready," she squeaked back.
"I have faith in you, Twilight. Also, we will be proceeding with the aurora immediately following the dinner; the weather team is working feverishly to hold a storm back that will be settling in overnight."
I could hardly believe my ears. "A-a storm?" I stammered.
"Yes, natural storms do occur from time to time, but I've been assured they will give you both enough time to perform the aurora with the rest of the ponies."
It was my turn to gulp. What was I saying earlier about prophetic dreams?
Stupid Thunderstorms
That dinner... I might as well cut off my tongue, because I'll never taste anything that good again. As Twilight and I sat back in our seats, I happened to look outside. I could make out flashes of lightning in the distance. I hoped the weather team in Canterlot was as good as the rumors said they were.
"Twily!"
I turned back to the table in time to see Shining Armor and Twilight hugging it out. I forgot he worked here. "Hello, Rainbow. You're looking lovely this evening," he said. No wonder he landed a princess. He was a charmer, that's for sure.
"Thanks, lookin' sharp yourself," I replied.
"So I hear you and Twily are leading the Aurora this year?"
"That's right, as long as it doesn't get rained out," I replied, taking a quick glance out of the stained glass windows of the dining hall in time to see more lightning.
"Oh, don't worry about that, the weather team here is top-notch," Shining insisted.
"Yeah... I've heard."
"Well I just wanted to wish you two good luck. Cadence and I will be watching!"
Shining left just as quickly as he'd showed up, leaving nothing left to do but head outside and watch the fireworks... er—magicworks? I dunno.
Anyway, once dinner was officially over, we followed the princess outside while the rest of the crowd took their seats on bleachers they'd set up earlier. While Twi was busy getting a few last glances at her spell book, I was nervously watching the storm clouds gather outside the city.
Princess Celestia gave the signal and, before I knew it, it was time to head into the clouds. I let Twilight get comfortable on my back before taking off. At first, it felt pretty awesome to be leading a bunch of pegasi on a mission to shoot magic into the sky. That began to change once we reached the right altitude. The winds were way stronger than I expected. With that dumb dream still in my head, I was extra careful with Twilight. If I even thought she was leaning too far one way or the other, I'd slide her back to my center.
"Rainbow! I have to check the wind direction to determine the proper cast height!" she protested over me constantly keeping her squarely between my wings. "What's gotten into you?"
"Nothing, just don't fall off!" I shouted back.
"Oh, Rainbow, you don't have to worr—Ah!"
I felt Twilight begin to slide while she was giving me her 'don't worry about me' speech. I guess that dream was a blessing in disguise, because I'd have never even thought about her falling off my back mid-flight if I hadn't had it. I shot both forelegs out and caught her. With one quick sling, I put her back where she belonged, but not without a bit of teasing first.
"What was that about me not worrying?"
"Let's just cast this thing and get down!" Twilight stammered, clinging tightly to my neck after her near fall. I made a beeline to the right height and hovered as the other pegasi and unicorn teams moved into position. Below us, the Canterlot elite and foreign dignitaries looked through their fancy opera glasses towards the sky.
In an instant, the sky was filled with lights and colors. Purples, blues, reds, and greens all lit the air before I noticed the thunderstorm I was worried about beginning to move in.
I smiled when I heard the 'ohs' and 'ahs' from the crowd below. Another job well done!
Admiring our work for a second, I was actually surprised by how pretty everything turned out. I mean, I get to see the colors of the rainbow every day, but to have them in the sky with me? Beyond cool.
"Wow, this is beautiful, Twilight," I whispered to her as we descended.
"I know," she replied. "I'd heard stories, but nothing compares to the real thing!"
As we neared the ground, I was just happy Twilight was still alive. I know I don't usually stress about dreams or whatever, but this one was just... too real. Anyway, none of that mattered now. All that was left now was to enjoy that amazing room and possibly sneak in a post-dinner meal after Twilight went to sleep.
Twilight and I stayed and watched the rest of the show before the rain began to fall. All the dignitaries were running to keep their fancy clothes dry while Twi and I just walked back to the castle in the rain. Honestly, it wasn't something I would have expected her to do, considering how much she lectures me about staying out in the rain. Her mane was sticking to her neck and forehead, while her horn stuck out from the smoothness of her purple hair. If she wasn't smiling at me, I'd have thought she was miserable.
"You sure you don't mind walking with me?" I asked.
"Not at all," she replied. "I wouldn't just leave you out in the rain!" She was considerate, if anything. I guess living in a library most of your life can really make you go the extra mile for your friends. I always wondered what I would be like if I weren't the most socially-awesome pegasus there was. Good thing I am!
I stretched my wing over her head, and she seemed to appreciate it. Actually, she moved closer to me, her side against my own as we walked back to the castle. We were the last ones still outside as we made our way toward the huge doors leading into the throne room.
I felt myself slow my pace a bit, and Twilight held up to match. Maybe hanging out with an egghead wasn't such a bad thing, especially if the egghead is one of your best friends. We finally arrived in the lobby of the throne room and shook ourselves off.
We flung water almost everywhere—which was kinda embarrassing, considering they had servants waiting with towels behind us. Towels which were now wet.
We took them anyway and dried off. Normally, it's kind of hard for a pegasus to use a towel to dry herself completely. Sometimes, hooves just can't reach past my withers. Thankfully, Twilight used her magic to dry me off. Un-thankfully, she discovered a dark secret only Gilda and Fluttershy knew about. One that I'd gone to great lengths to keep secret.
As Twi brushed against the underside of my stomach, I let out a small giggle. I tried to hold it in, I swear! As soon as Twi heard it, the damage had been done. She slid the towel off of me and looked into my eyes with a sly smirk. "Rainbow, you wouldn't happen to be... ticklish, would you?"
I backed away slowly, but I didn't have anywhere to go. I was trapped.
"No! You're ticklish!" Not my best comeback, not that it mattered. She took a step toward me. The servants were long gone, and the lobby was small enough to only give me one escape route, which Twilight happened to be blocking.
"That may be, but I think somepony is too..." She slinked closer; I opened my wings. She couldn't tickle what she couldn't reach, right? She had other ideas. That darn magic of hers is not fair! I tried to flap my wings, but found them—and the rest of me—frozen in place.
"Twilight, don't you even—"
Too late. There was nothing I could do. Before I could even yell for help, she attacked. I guess I deserve this for tickling Twilight while she was drunk the other night. I probably shouldn't have apologized for something she didn't remember out loud.
Twilight gasped. "Rainbow! You took advantage of me while I was intoxicated?"
"I'm sorry!" I managed to squeal in between laughs. "I promise it'll never happen again!"
"Oh I know it won't." She smiled.
Apparently, I'd made enough noise to attract the princess. "Twilight? What's going on in h—"
Twilight froze on top of me as I tried to catch my breath and thank Princess Celestia at the same time. We all caught eyes at the same time. The blush on the princess' cheeks was just as obvious as Twilight's. It must have been thirty seconds before Twilight moved off of me.
"Princess, we, uh, we were just... uhm..."
Princess Celestia raised a dismissive hoof. "Say no more. But might I suggest adjourning to a more private setting before engaging in any more 'tickle fights?'" she chuckled, taking her leave.
We had a long, awkward walk back to the room before Twilight said something. "Sorry about that, back there..."
"Pff, C'mon, Twilight, I'd have wanted a revenge-tickle if I were in your hooves," I assured her. Even though little things set her off, little things could also calm her down. She's kinda weird like that. Twi can keep her cool even as Equestria is falling down around her, yet Celestia forbid she lost her day planner or misplaced a book. I think it's because her priorities are a bit... off, but whatever. It works for her and that's all that matters.
"Let's just get some sleep," she sighed. Hmm... she still seemed a bit mopey. Maybe this would take a bit more time than I thought. I decided to remove 'post-dinner' from my to-do list and add 'Twilight.' We stepped into our room to find it freshly cleaned, and all the linens replaced, even though we hardly touched the old ones. That's royal service for you, I guess.
Anyway I headed straight to the bed and jumped in, sending the flat, pressed sheets wrinkling as I pulled them back. Looking back toward Twilight, I could tell she was still thinking about earlier. Yeah it was kinda embarrassing to have your mentor catch you with your hooves all over your friend, but it wasn't worth pouting over! I mean, she didn't even seem upset! She was laughing when she left!
"Twi..." I called, maybe a bit more seductively than I meant to. She cocked her head towards me, but still wore the same tired expression. I fluttered out of the bedroom and settled next to her. "What's your deal?"
She opened her mouth, then closed it before getting a word out. I saw her glance at me before letting out a huff. "The Princess saw me... and you, like that!"
"Like what?" I asked flatly. She was really blowing this thing out of proportion. "She's been around for over a thousand years. You think that was the first time she's ever seen a tickle-fight?"
"Not that !" she snapped. "I'm a scholar—her own protege! I'm supposed to be above carnal desires, and I just jumped on you like—" Twilight covered her mouth with her hoof and looked at me, her eyes wider than I'd ever seen them.
"Carnal desires?" I repeated. I'd have to look that up later, but I swear I've heard those two words before. "Twilight, she didn't even care!"
"How do you know?!" she snapped. "Are you a mind reader?"
I was kind of surprised by her reaction. I've never seen Twilight so upset, but before I could respond, she did.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, it's just... Celestia's opinion matters to me a lot more than it probably should."
I smiled, putting a wing around her. "C'mon, Twi. I'm beat. Can we go to sleep now?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty tired too."
Finally, I got her into bed.
No, not like that .
I shimmied under the covers and discovered somepony had cast a heating spell on the blankets! It was like laying in a sea of silk. Anyway, once we both got settled, we had a little talking time.
"I think we did pretty good out there," I whispered.
"Yeah, we did." She yawned. "Hey, if you don't mind my asking, what was your dream about?"
"What dream?"
"You know, the one you had at my house," she clarified. I propped myself up on my elbows.
"Oh... right." It probably wouldn't hurt to let her in on it. After all, it was just a dumb dream that didn't come true. "Well, it was you and me flying above Canterlot during the aurora, and I, well, dropped you."
Twilight met me by propping herself up. "You dropped me?" she said playfully.
"I didn't mean to!" I replied defensively. "You stood on my back in the middle of a thunderstorm!"
"There's a thunderstorm now?" she asked.
"I... look, the dream's not important," I insisted, waving a hoof. "The important thing is, you didn't fall to your death, and we did the magic thing."
"Well, yeah, I—wait, to my death ?!"
"Just don't worry about it, I'm beat," I said, settling back down into my sheets.
As soon as I thought I was going to pass out, something Twilight said came back to me. That whole 'carnal desires' thing.
"Hey, Twi. You ever know somepony you'd like to spend time with romantically, only to have them be completely oblivious to your efforts to spend time alone with them?" Twilight wasn't exactly a master of observation in social situations, so I was confident she wouldn't catch on.
"Hm... can't say that I have," she yawned.
Called it.
That's the thing about Twilight. It's like she has no desire to love or be loved by a special somepony! I mean, everypony needs somepony to hold them after a bad flight, or an injured wing, or... what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Twilight's weird non-need for romantic contact.
It's like she would just clone herself if somepony told her she had to reproduce. If she could bring a book to life and sleep with it, she'd probably never leave the library again. I think you get the idea. Anyway, I figured if I was going to get Twilight to be my plus one to the gala, I'd probably have to settle for a just friends type deal.
"You ever have one of your friends trying to act subtle about what it is they want, when it's obvious to the pony they're trying to convey their feelings towards because in reality they are, in fact, about as subtle as a backlit neon sign in Las Neighas?"
Did—did she just... does she... no way.
Does she know? Is Twilight really that smart? Am I that obvious?
Good Morning Cantertlot
"I... uh... I mean..."
"C'mon, Rainbow. Daring Do and the Rock of Ages?"
Wait, what?
"You mean I finally read a Daring Do book that Rainbow Dash hasn't ?" Twilight giggled. "Impossible."
Wow. I should have known Twilight wouldn't be that forward. "Oh, yeah, guess I just forgot. 'Night, Twi."
I rolled over and faced the window. The moon was bright tonight, but I was too tired to care. I had a bigger problem. When I thought Twilight had thought I was into her I just laid there with my mouth open like a mule! Why? Who gives a crap if Twi had a thing for me? Who doesn't? That's what worried me. I didn't realize it at the time, but this was just the beginning of this whole crazy ride.
"'Night, Rainbow," she yawned, turning around to pass out, just like I had. Whatever, at least now I'd have time to think about how amazing this mattress felt. I was looking forward to getting a good night's rest, free from all this mushy junk that kept sneaking into my head no matter how hard I tried to block it out.
Princess Luna had other ideas.
I can't believe I'd read a Daring Do book Rainbow hadn't yet! Although, she was acting a bit flustered... perhaps she thought I—no, there's no way.
...But thinking back on it, she has been acting a bit peculiar around me. She comes around the library a lot, even though I gave her the exact date the next Daring Do book would arrive. Silly Twilight, Rainbow Dash just likes to read! It has nothing to do with you. Right? I mean, what other possible reason would she have for visiting all the... oh. Oh Celestia. I'm just being ridiculous, Rainbow has nothing in common with me! I'd rather spend a day studying organic chemistry than sleeping! Unless, I've been the one unwittingly giving the wrong signals. And then there was that incident in the foyer. I was just getting my revenge, I swear! I was definitely not thinking about how soft Rainbow's coat was or how much I loved to hear her laugh as I ran my hooves up and down her—no! Bad Twilight!
That's when I realized I might be right. I mean, I invited her to Canterlot with just me. Heck, we're sleeping in the same bed! But friends do that all the time! And who else was I supposed to ask to carry me into the sky? Fluttershy? I could imagine how that would turn out.
Then I thought back to the events before we left. She asked me if I had a date to the gala, and seemed pretty happy when I didn't which was odd, but then she never brought it up again. Or at least, she hasn't yet. Rainbow's a pretty mare—prettier than she gets credit—but I'm just, well, me. I suppose by now you've probably figured out I'm a bit more comfortable around mares than stallions. It's not that I'd turn my nose up at the right stallion if he introduced himself and were interested in me, but so far, none of them have.
Maybe I should just get some sleep, I'm sure I'll have a clearer head in the morning.
"Rainbow Dash, come hither."
There's only one pony in Equestria that still talks like that. I opened my eyes and found myself in a meadow, Princess Luna standing in my dream like she owned the place.
"You have done well in taking my place with Twilight Sparkle for this year's aurora magicalis." Cool! At least Princess Luna was happy; I'd never been praised by a royalty before! Well, unless you count all those other times. Still, it doesn't get old, trust me.
"Thanks, princess! Hey, aren't you supposed to be sick?"
She smiled. "Yes, at this time I am in bed with the sniffles, yet microbes shall not limit my power."
"Huh... okay, any reason you're here and not letting me dream my usual dream?" I asked. I really liked my usual dream. She rolled her eyes.
"Yea, I am aware of your affinity for your inclusion into the Wonderbolt stunt flying group, however this time, I have crafted a different dream for you."
Princess Luna makes everypony's dreams? No wonder she's always tired. "I hath constructed for you a world in which your deepest desires are fulfilled, in an effort to bring to light your true feelings."
"True feelings? But I already know I want to be a Wonderbolt." She was way overcomplicating me. Sometimes I'd be dreaming that I was taking a nap! I'm not too hard to figure out.
"Not those feelings," she sighed. "Come with me." She spread her wings and took off, and I followed her. We flew for a while until we landed on a hilltop overlooking Canterlot. "Do you know why I am princess of the night?"
"Uh... because the daytime was taken?" She cut her eyes at me. I'd have to watch my mouth if I didn't want to get sent to the sun .
"No. It is because I was entrusted with that most sacred of emotions, and the expressions of that emotion are almost universally done at night, with the exception of those ponies in Prance. Fornicating during the daytime when I am not there to wat—I mean guide them," she mumbled. Wait, I feel like I should know what fornicating means...
"Anyway, I am also the goddess of love. Cadence likes to think she is, but this is because Celestia and I grew tired of her moping around the castle all day, claiming she had no way of helping the ponies."
I cleared my throat. Apparently Princess Luna has a case of the rambles.
"Right, back to you. Anyway, it is important for you to realize the feelings you've been trying to bury. Your pride in your reputation keeps you from admitting a very simple truth."
I was totally lost. Feelings? Love? What in the hay was all this about?
"It is about you and Twilight Sparkle, of course."
Princess Luna can apparently read thoughts, too.
"What about her?"
She giggled. "My dear, do you still not see? You two have been prancing around the obvious for quite some time." I could feel my cheeks light up.
"I, well..." I guess there was no point in lying. "Okay, so maybe I have a bit of a crush. So what? Lots of ponies have crushes on their friends!"
"Indeed they do, however lots of ponies are not as stubborn as you are." I was expecting a speech, not a personal attack! "What I mean is, neither you nor Twilight Sparkle have felt what is necessary to complete the pony experience. Every single other Element of Harmony has had or currently has experienced the unfettered joy of love, and being loved," she finished, turning to me. "Save you and Twilight Sparkle."
"Hang on a second, you mean to tell me that Pinkie—"
"A colt in high school by the name of Candy Stripe. Her move to Ponyville broke them apart."
"And Rarity?"
"She met a stallion from Prance in Canterlot while delivering a dress order. They didn't even speak the same language, but love is universal," she sighed dreamily. Blegh.
"So that's why she stayed in Canterlot an extra week..." I said, putting a hoof to my chin. "Okay, but I know for a fact that Applejack—"
"Are you familiar with her neighbor Carrot Top?"
My jaw dropped. "Are you kidding me! Carrot Top and Applejack?!"
"Ah yes, they were simply lovestruck teenagers, driven by hormones and curiosity. I remember their first time like it was yesterday. Unfortunately a family feud drove them apart. A shame, really. I'd never seen her so happy."
I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. How did she know all this? "Hey, weren't you on the moon during most of that time?"
"Yes, though I was not here physically, my duties supersede any physical distance." Well, she is a princess. I've heard weirder legends.
"So what, you're just gonna force us together because you feel like it?" I asked, a little harsher than I intended. Even though this was a dream, Luna was still a princess.
"No. As you know, the Elements you and your compatriots wield are quite powerful. As you may not know, however, the Elements have no inherent power within them. They simply amplify the power within all of you."
"Okay..." I wasn't really sure what any of this had to do with me and Twilight, but it wasn't like I could just leave.
"You have all done well to experience the power of friendship, but there is another feeling that can trump even that bond."
I think I could guess where this was headed. "Love?" I deadpanned.
"Now you're getting it." She smiled at me.
"I cannot force the two of you to realize your feelings, nor do I have any control over what happens in the real world between you two. All I can tell you is that in order to become complete as ponies, you must experience this emotion."
I hated being told what to do. It just wasn't my thing, and even coming from a princess, I wasn't too happy about it. On top of that, there was the possibility of total embarrassment. What if Twilight wasn't into me? What if I made a complete flank of myself in front of her and all she ever thinks of when she sees me is that time I tried to put the moves on her and got rejected? I couldn't take Twilight having that kind of leverage over me, I just couldn't!
"Surely you know Twilight better than that?" I gotta stop thinking things.
"Yeah, but it's still..."
"Scary?" she completed. "Many things in this world are, my little pony. Fear is natural. It is what has assured ponydom's survival from the beginning of time. There are times when fear can save your life. However, there are also times where fear must be stowed, and in its place, you must bring courage."
I nodded, though it didn't do much to make me feel any less nervous about what she'd just asked me to do.
"You are still wary, I know. However, the dream I have prepared for you will no doubt help set your mind at ease. For you will be most comfortable with Twilight Sparkle afterwards, I can assure you." A file cabinet sprang out of the ground beside the princess. She opened it and rifled through the folders until she found the one she needed.
"Ah, this one will do nicely." With a flash of her horn, we were back in our room at the castle, except it was kinda... different than I remember. Mainly because candles were lit everywhere and that smell I remembered from Twilight's mane filled the room, along with another more... ladylike smell. That's when I noticed Twilight splayed across the bed on her stomach, her head turned towards me, practically begging me with her eyes to come to the bed.
"Rainbow, I've been waiting for that massage you promised me..." she said... uhm... sexfully? I know there's probably a better word for that, but I wasn't really worried about words at that point. I was about ready to pounce, but I stopped myself and turned back to the princess.
"Princess Luna, this is probably one of the few times you'd let me pick my dreams for the night, right?"
She nodded. "Indeed, it is a rare privilege."
I motioned for her to lean over so I could tell her something.
"Really? Well, it is your dream, I suppose I could indulge you this once." She clapped her hooves together twice as Spitfire and Big Macintosh both magically appeared on the bed next to Twilight in a puff of blue smoke.
Best. Dream. Ever.
I awoke the next day somehow feeling quite refreshed. I was, of course, the first one to get up, though I would hardly call my sleep restful. Fitful is more like it. Rainbow was grunting and moaning in her sleep all night! I don't know how she didn't wake herself !
Springing out of bed, I led myself to the bathroom to brush my teeth and comb my mane. We were due out of the room by noon, and it was already eleven. I must have been more tired than I suspected! I glanced toward Rainbow as I brushed, noticing her wings sticking straight out from her sides. In my studies of pegasus anatomy, I'd learned that the state of the wings often correspond to the REM sleep stages. This is known as wing tumescence , and is completely normal, if not a bit embarrassing for most pegasi.
My apologies, sometimes I get a bit carried away in my explanations. Anyway, I noticed her beginning to stir as I finished brushing. I turned on the shower and hopped in, hoping I wouldn't use all the hot water so Rainbow would have some too.
Much to the surprise of no one, I got out of the shower to find her still in bed.
"We need to get moving if we're going to check out by noon," I said, wrapping a towel around my mane and tail.
She rolled over and focused her bleary eyes on me. I also noticed a bit of a blush as I felt one come over myself. I must admit, it did lend credence to my earlier theory. Also, it felt nice to know somepony—especially somepony I already knew pretty well—thought that highly of me!
I had given some thought about the events of last night. Perhaps it would be a fun little experiment to go to the gala with Rainbow! After all, I don't really get to spend a lot of time with her. She's usually at Applejack's or asleep, or pranking ponies with Pinkie. This could be a good opportunity to get to know her even better. Maybe even strengthen the Elements in case something decides to attack the castle during the gala!
I know that sounds like paranoia, but nopony expected an attack on Shining and Princess Cadence's wedding, and look how that turned out!
"Rainbow, I was thinking about last night..."
She grew even more red. Making her blush was actually kind of fun! "Yeah?"
"Well, I think it'd be fun to be your 'date' (I used air quotes there, if you couldn't tell) to the gala."
"Really?" Her eyes lit up. A half second later, she'd managed to temper her excitement with her usual cool attitude.
"I mean, yeah, that's cool."
I smiled. She could try to hide it all she wanted, but I could tell she was excited not to be going alone. "Glad you think so. The shower is all yours. I'll wait for you to get done before I head downstairs for breakfast."
"Thanks, Twi! You're the best!" She flew right past me and into the bathroom as I began to dry my mane. Maybe there would be something to be gained from this little social experiment!
The Fine Art of Dressmaking
The Fine Art of Dressmaking
Twilight and I headed down to grab some breakfast before we had to check out of the room. Although I hate getting up early, food was definitely a worthy cause. The Prench toast here was amazing, by the way. Anyway, I was pretty stoked about Twilight wanting to hang out with me at the gala. Not that I could blame her!
The gala was coming up, and soon it would be time to put on those fancy-shmancy dresses and strut our stuff in front of every snooty 'nose-in-the-air-type' pony in Equestria. Heck, if it weren't for Pinkie and the Wonderbolts, that whole thing would be a giant snore-fest.
The dining hall was already filled with construction ponies setting up for the gala. I guess they started setting up sooner than I thought.
"So, you ready to stand in front of Rarity for hours while she takes your measurements?" I teased. I knew Twilight liked it about as much as any of my other friends. Except Fluttershy. She could absolutely hate something, but you wouldn't know it.
"Oh, it's not so bad if you bring a book to read while you wait." I probably should have seen that coming. After breakfast, we checked out of the room and stood in the gardens outside of the castle. Not much grows on clouds, so being down where the flowers bloom had its advantages. Thankfully, there was no cab waiting for us.
"So, you just gonna walk home this time?"
Twilight giggled. I've gotta admit, I don't hate it when she does that.
"No, I think I'll just teleport." She turned to me. "I've got room for one more if you don't want to fly."
Let's get one thing straight. For me, there's no 'don't want to fly' anywhere in my vocabulary. But... I did want to get to know Twilight a bit better, and I'd already taken her for a flight, so I might as well check out how she got around.
"Okay, I guess trying it wouldn't hurt."
"Great!" She was beaming at this point. Was this all it took to make this mare happy? "Just come over here and set a hoof on my shoulder."
I did what she said to do, and waited for her to start before she shared this gem with me: "Try not to open your eyes during the spell or you might get sick!"
"Wh—" Before I even had time to question it, the two of us were rocketing through some kind of multicolored tunnel. Colors I could never begin to describe zipped past us and swirled all around us like I'd just eaten the wrong kind of mushrooms. I felt like I was traveling faster than I'd ever flown before. Weirdly enough, the entire trip took less than one second, but it felt a lot longer. Before I knew it, we were standing in the middle of Twilight's library.
"Well, that wasn't so bad—"
I promptly bent over and hurled right in the center of Twilight's floor. "Spike! Get the mop!" I heard Twilight shout as I caught my breath. Sorry, Spike. I'll get you... something for your trouble. Maybe a lock of Rarity's mane.
"I guess we're even now, huh?" I asked.
Even though I just puked on her floor, Twilight was still pretty cool about it. "Yeah, I guess we are."
After I borrowed some mouthwash from Twi, I figured it was about time I got the whole 'dress' thing out of the way. "So, when are you going to Rarity's?"
"I was planning on getting it out of the way today if she had the time." I guess there's no time like the present, right?
"Mind if I tag? I might as well get it over with now," I said, finally keeping my stupid cheeks under control.
"Sure!" she replied, "Be sure to bring a book, though."
Egghead.
"Right, see ya, I gotta check on Tank." I took off through her window and headed back to my place to make sure the old fella hadn't fallen through my house. "Later, Twi. I'll meet ya there!"
I certainly admired Rainbow's energy. No sooner had she emptied her stomach onto my floor than she was out the window, flying like it'd never happened! Spike was not as impressed as I was.
"C'mon!" he protested, filling the mop bucket up with water. "There's a trash can right there !" Well, it probably wouldn't hurt to save Spike the hard labor. One levitation spell later, and the refuse was in the refuse bin, where it belonged.
"I know. Rainbow probably wasn't happy about it either." He gave me one of those cute pouts. I hope he never outgrows those chubby little dragon cheeks!
"Then why isn't she mopping the floor?"
"Because she isn't here." I moved to the couch and reclined. Ugh... nothing will ever be as soft as that bed in the castle. Comparatively, this couch felt like it was made of granite, and I love this couch! Furniture envy aside, I figured it was about time to wipe the sour expression of my assistant's face.
"Buck up, Spike." He mumbled something, which I assumed was something to the effect of: 'Of course, Twilight!' "We're going to Rarity's as soon as you're done mopping." That put some pep in his step. Although I was expecting his 'I heart Rarity' tee shirt, this time he decided to switch it up with the jeweled bow tie she had made for him. Dashing, if I do say so myself.
"Floor's done! What are we doing at Rarity's?" he asked, rising and falling on his toes.
"Well, we're gonna get you fitted for your tux, and I'm getting fitted for my dress." Of course, that was all it took. Spike ceased being a grumpy dragon, and we set out towards Rarity's boutique. This time, I decided to walk. As we did, I thought back to last night. We did a great job of casting the aurora—the princess said so herself! But, something's been absent for a while.
I don't normally let my emotions cloud my judgment, but lately I've been feeling... well, like I'm just going through the motions of my life. Like there's something I should be doing, studying, or researching, but I just can't figure out what it is. It's... it's a kind of emptiness that only creeps in when I'm trying to sleep, or have idle time. It's like a nagging hollowness that no amount of studying or field research could fill, and yet... last night it was conspicuously absent.
As we were settling in for a good night's rest, I waited, dreading the inevitability of my overactive mind keeping me up with all sorts of errant thoughts.
Did I leave the kettle on at home? Is Spike doing okay by himself? When's the next time Owlowicsious will drop a dead mouse on my doorstep saying 'I love you' in what I assume is some bizarre owl custom?
These are the kinds of thoughts that keep me up at night. Unimportant, I know, but try telling me that at three in the morning while I re-read Trotstoy for the third time, simply trying to outlast my tired brain.
What was different about my night at the palace, however, was that as I lay ready to drown my overactive mind with a sleeping elixir Zecora had concocted for me (which was highly effective, though left me somewhat drowsy the morning after), a most curious thing happened. I slept! Completely enveloped in the REM stages with no untimely waking!
It. Was. Glorious.
I had to wonder what had induced my sleep so soundly. I could only assume it was simply exhaustion. Casting such a spell took a lot out of me, but it wasn't as though I was falling asleep standing up. In fact, after I had gone on a marathon of reading and taking notes on the subtleties of the ancient religious texts from the Coltalonian empire, I was arguably more tired than last night.
Maybe it was Rainbow...
"Maybe what was Rainbow?" I nearly bucked Spike off my back! Looks like I was thinking out loud again!
"Oh, uhm... she left her book in my saddlebag," I said quickly. "She'd forget her wings if they weren't on her back!" Spike didn't look convinced, but I didn't have time to worry. We had apparently been standing outside Rarity's for a few minutes already. I hate getting lost in my thoughts sometimes.
"So, are we going to go inside, or...?" Spike certainly had a smart mouth on him today. Pushing into the showroom, the small bell above the door announced our entry.
"Welcome to the Carousel B—oh, Twilight!" Rarity called from the corner of the room where a grumpy looking Rainbow Dash stood, clothed in a partly completed dress. "And my handsome young dragon, Spike." If he hadn't hopped off my back, I'd swear he would have melted right then and there. Oh, to be a lovestruck baby dragon...
Rarity set her measuring tape down, trotting over to her desk and making a few marks. "So, am I to assume you're here for the same thing as Rainbow Dash?"
"That's right," I replied, taking a seat on her fainting couch. "The gala's only a few days away."
"Well, I certainly hope you're in a more... sporting mood."
"I've been up here for too long already!" Rainbow fired back from atop the platform.
"Darling, please. It's been ten minutes at the most."
"Ten minutes too long..." Dash grumbled. For all her bravado, she certainly looked cute trying to deny her own femininity. I mean, she could deny it all she wanted, but when you look good in a formal gown, you look good in a formal gown. Applejack was like that too, though at least she kept an open mind.
"Twilight, can you lend a horn?" She asked, gesturing to Rainbow.
"No problem," I said. "Always glad to help!"
"I appreciate it." Rarity sighed, turning back to Dash. "I'll be finished a lot faster so Ms. Impatience here can finally stop standing still."
Okay, so truthfully, I came straight to Rarity's after I left Twilight's. I wanted to try and get this out of the way so I could see what kind of dress Rarity had in mind for Twi. Not that I care about how good she looks in a dress. She does, but that's not important.
I would just as soon go naked to the gala than wear something that brings out my mane and eyes so well. Seriously! Anyway, I had to have been close to being done before Rarity called Twilight over to help.
"Where do you need me?" she asked. Rarity gave her another string with measurements on it, and she took a spot on my other side.
"If you could get a measurement on her withers..." she asked as I felt her magic tingle across my back. That's something I think a lot of unicorns don't realize: having magic used on you can take some getting used to. "Thank you, dear."
Rarity moved back to her desk to make a few more marks while Twilight held her string. "Anything else you need me to do?" she asked.
"Actually, I want to see how different palettes contrast with the... unique hue of Rainbow's mane." She turned to me, like my permission meant anything at this point. "You don't mind, do you?"
"No..." I sighed.
"Wonderful!" If there was one thing about Rarity I admired, it was how much she loved fashion and designing and all that girly junk. I mean, it's not my thing, but she didn't half-ass anything dress related. "Twilight, be a dear and hold these pieces of fabric against her."
Of course, I couldn't care less what color she picked, but I trusted her. "How's this?" A series of whites, blues and light greens came and went while I stood trying not to die of boredom. I know Twilight told me to bring a book, but one thing she forgot was that I had no way to hold it. My wings aren't long enough to hold a book in front of my face, and I need four hooves to balance.
"Lovely," Rarity replied. "Now, drape these pieces over her shoulders, but hold them tightly. I want to see how her figure looks in this shade." This was a part I wasn't really prepared for. Instead of using magic, Twilight just walked behind me like a stallion that'd seen something he liked and threw the fabric over my back. On top of that, she then threw herself on my back to keep the fabric stretched! Now, having Twilight on my back was like wearing a hat—hardly noticeable for a jacked pegasus like myself. But, no matter how hard I tried to block it out, one thought stayed in my head.
Twilight was on top of me. For Celestia's sake, I could smell her mane from here! It smelled amazing, by the way. Most ponies would assume she smells like lavender, because she's a similar color, but I think that's racist. I remember one stallion at the bar one night told me I smelled like rain. Rain! Can you believe that? I mean, what does rain even smell like? It's water! Anyway, Twilight shifted on top of me as she swapped out the different color sheets. I was screaming at my wings to stay put, but they never listen...
I made it to the last color before I couldn't hold them back any longer. I had to let 'em fly.
"Oh... uhm... Rainbow, is something the matter?" Rarity asked as my shame stuck out like two extremely sensitive sore hooves. Why couldn't I have used one of those fabric sheets to cover my head?
I took a deep breath. They'd be gone as long as I don't think about anything sexy. Especially not that dream I had last night—damnit! Unsexy thoughts, Rainbow! Un sexy!
Granny Smith and the preacher pony on a cold day, Granny Smith and the preacher pony on a cold day...
I felt my primaries begin to loosen. Thank Celestia for small miracles. "Sorry about that, Rainbow. I wasn't really looking where I was putting my hooves," Twilight apologized. Honestly, I knew she wasn't the type to cop a feel, so I knew she had no idea what she was doing.
"It's okay." I tried to play it off, but it was tough, even for me. "Is that all?" I asked, turning to Rarity as my wings finally began to get flexible again.
"Yes, the captive is free to go." Rarity made a final mark on her design desk before setting her glasses on her forehead. "The dress will be ready the evening of the gala."
"Got it. Later, guys!" With that, I left the same way I came in: through a window. Doors are for suckers. Anyway, now that that huge embarrassment was over with, I still had to make sure Tank hadn't fallen out of my house. Again.
"Well, somepony was certainly flustered," Rarity giggled as I stepped up the the stage. "Spike, will you be a dear and fetch me some gems from outside?" With a quick salute, Spike was outdoors digging holes in the street. Looks like I'd be getting another letter from the Mayor.
Rarity began to measure my forelegs and shoulders as we made small talk. "Oh, I'm sure it was just the whole 'standing still' part of getting a dress made." I reasoned. "You know how much Rainbow hates not moving unless she's asleep." We both shared a good-natured chuckle, but Rarity apparently noticed something I hadn't.
"Come now Twilight, don't be so naive."
"Naive?" I asked as she trotted back to her design desk and make a few notes. "What do you mean?"
She raised an eyebrow over the rim of her red glasses and stared at me as though I were a imbecile. "I've been making dresses for that mare for the past few galas, and she's never had any wing... indiscretions before."
I scoffed. One time out of many isn't proof of anything. It's a fluke, an outlier! "And what is that supposed to mean?"
She laughed softly. "Think about it, Twilight. Has she done anything else unusual around you lately?"
"No!" I said quickly. Though, the more I thought about it... "Well, she and I are going to the gala together—"
Rarity interrupted me with a joyful squeal. "I knew it! I knew it was just a matter of time!"
"What? She didn't want to go alone, so she chose to go with me!" I snapped back, pawing at the ground.
"No need to get defensive, dear." She took down another measurement before striding back towards me. "I simply think it's cute Rainbow finally mustered the courage to ask you."
I was not impressed with Rarity's theory. "So, just because a friend doesn't want to go to a formal event alone automatically means she has the hots for me?"
"Hmm... I think I'll have to make your dress and Rainbow's coordinate—in light of recent revelations—"
"Rarity!"
"Oh! Sorry, of course the two of you could just be going as friends," she said sarcastically. "All I'm saying is, she would have seen us all at the gala anyway, so what reason would she have for inviting you as her 'plus one'?"
I opened my mouth to reply, but closed it after realizing I didn't have one.
"That's... a good question."
(Possibly) The Best Night Ever
(Possibly) The Best Night Ever
Tank was fine. I'm pretty sure he had only taken a few steps from where I'd left him last time I saw him. Anyway, I split a head of lettuce and put half in his bowl. It'd be another half hour before he reached his food, so I decided to check out an issue of Pegasus Quarterly I hadn't got around to reading. I don't really read the articles, but some of the models are pretty hot, and those perfume samples smell amazing .
Anyway, I could barely make it through the first few pages. My dumb wing incident earlier was making it impossible to concentrate on reading. I know Twilight probably didn't think much of it, but I just know Rarity is probably having a great time giggling to herself about it. Maybe if her horn grew a couple of inches around ponies she liked she wouldn't be laughing!
As I flipped through the pages, I ran across an ad for some kind of overpriced hoofwarmers and winter coats. The models were two mares who were looked like they were a little closer than friends. I could barely pay attention to the magazine. Stupid Twilight. I don't even know why I'm stressing about all this noise. The night of the gala was almost here, and I was sure we'd have a great time. I mean, we always have fun. Why would this time be any different?
Okay, I could probably guess why this time around might be a little different. Still, the girls wouldn't care that I'm bringing Twilight, right? We're always given the option to bring a plus one, and it could be a friend! It's just that one friend might have a tiny, insignificant, barely-even-there-at-all, crush on that friend.
That's okay though, because Twilight has no idea. Heh, sweet, oblivious, innocent Twilight. It must be nice to never realize how much another pony likes you... never having to worry whether or not you could ever do something so totally boneheaded that it ruins you in their eyes forever. Not that I ever have.
Once I returned home with Spike, I couldn't help but giggle at Rainbow's little incident earlier. I know it was mostly my fault, but still, I found it pretty entertaining, regardless. As Spike ran upstairs to put away his formal wear for the gala, Rarity's words still rang in my ears.
I suppose she was right, after all. I mean, we would have seen each other at the gala anyway. Why would Rainbow want to take me specifically to someplace we were both certain to be? It did lend credit to her theory, but that's all it was: a theory.
Then again, gravity is technically just a theory, and I'm fairly certain it's one I wouldn't want to try and disprove. I hardly had time to consider the implications of Rainbow Dash liking me as more than a friend when the tiny bell above my door let me know I had a customer. "Welcome to the Golden Oak library!" It was a pony I recognized as one of the flower vendors from the town square. Roseluck, if I recall.
"Hi." She seemed content to shuffle nervously toward the shelves while her eyes darted between my tomes and I.
"Something I can help you find?" I asked. She scratched the back of her foreleg with the other.
"Uh... I was actually looking for a book on... well, I need to know if somepony likes me as their special somepony," she admitted, as though she was professing her guilt before a judge. "Do you have anything that might help me figure that out?"
What a coincidence, I thought, giving her a reassuring smile. No subject is off limits as long as a book about it exists!
"No problem." I brought the ladder near the 'L' section and climbed up. "I've got just the book!" I began searching for Love for the Oblivious: A complete guide to realizing what's right in front of you when I noticed the space where the book would have been was empty. That seemed unusual, as I had three copies of that particular guide. I don't remember checking them out, but Spike sometimes runs the library when I'm gone, so it was possible he lent them out.
"Huh, well, I've got another one I think will be exactly what you're looking..." I slid myself on the ladder over to the 'R's, on the hunt for Romancing the Pony: How to realize what is obvious to your friends . "... for." No dice there, either! Just what in the hay had happened to all my romance books? "Spike!"
"What is it?" he replied.
"Did you checkout all the books on romance?" There was a few seconds of silence from upstairs. Looks like he knew a bit more than I anticipated.
"Not technically..." I hopped off the ladder and trotted to the bottom of the stairs.
"Then where are they?" Another few seconds of pause.
"Up here..." I knew it! He had to have read those books cover to cover, twice! I'm glad Spike has learned the joys of reading, but he can't just hoard all the books in his basket. In fact, I thought he learned his hoarding lesson a few months ago.
"Bring them down here please, mister." I turned to Roseluck and apologized, though she seemed more embarrassed about it than I was. I wonder who it was she thought was interested in her? It wasn't springtime already, was it? I know estrus doesn't start until at least mid spring... not that I would know the exact time mine begins. It's absolutely not marked in my day planner as the day I lock myself in my room and let Spike run the library for those weeks while I try not to lose my mind.
Definitely not.
Anyway, he finally came down the stairs with just about every book on romance in my library in his arms. "Which one did you need?" he asked.
"All of them." I took them in my magic and sorted them accordingly, giving Roseluck the volume she was after. "Sorry that took so long. Spike knows he's only allowed to check out two books at a time." He mumbled something about having a good reason for it as he headed back upstairs. I wonder what's gotten into that dragon? Visiting Rarity usually leaves him in a great mood!
I figured he had probably found out Rarity was taking Big Mac. I couldn't help but feel bad for my little guy. After all, you don't pick who you love. Or so I've read.
I bid Roseluck goodbye and set about re-shelving the others Spike had taken. As I did, I began to wonder if some of those chapters might help me determine Rainbow's feelings. I mean, I had evidence she was just my pal who didn't want to go to the gala alone when all her friends had gotten dates. Then again, Rairty had brought up a point I couldn't easily dismiss.
I cracked open another copy of the book I'd lent Roseluck and began skimming through the introductory section. Inside was a list of the basic patterns of pegasus behavior when they harbored a crush, and the best ways to get the crushee to notice your feelings without being very direct. As I scanned the list, I began to realize everything in the book was nearly identical to the way Rainbow had been acting! She'd come over using flimsy pretexts for her visits, stayed for way longer than any of my other friends when they visited, and even cared to listen to things I was fairly certain she had no interest in!
It was all too coincidental. What are the odds that Rainbow would attempt every one of the items listed?
That's when I realized my third copy of the book was not with the ones Spike had brought down with him. I set the book on the couch and retrieved the library checkout log. I scanned the entries for the title and when I found it, I couldn't believe my eyes. Rainbow had checked out my third copy! Before I knew it, I was nearly hyperventilating.
"This is why I had all those books with me," said Spike from the steps. I glanced over at him as he held out my breathing bag. I took it and began to calm myself down.
"Why?"
He sighed. "Because I knew you'd react this way."
Sweet Celestia, did I need to clear my head. I knew a quick flight was usually just what the doctor ordered. I couldn't keep everything that'd happened in the past few days out of my thoughts to save my life. It was bad enough I'd embarrassed myself in front of Twilight, but now I had to relive the shame every time I had an idle thought! It wasn't fair. What did I ever do to deserve such a bruise on my reputation?
Rainbow Dash is always in control! To lose it like that, and in front of my friends! I shook my head. Maybe that would empty out those thoughts. As I glided across the city limits, I came to one of my favorite spots. The sky was usually clear here, thanks to the mountains, and it was perfect for practicing my moves. Yeah, I know I hadn't really had a chance to show them off at any of the other six galas I've been to so far, but you never know when Spitfire or Soarin might want an on-the-spot demonstration, right?
To be honest, it had been a while since I'd practiced. With all of this Twilight business going on, my mind had been somewhere else. You never really forget how to do the tricks I do. I bet it's like how Squirt rides her scooter. She could lay off it for a few days and still hop back on a week later like she'd just set it down to eat lunch or something. I hope her wings get strong enough to carry her soon. She's gonna kill herself on that thing. Anyway, after a few warm ups, I was ready to lay down a solid routine.
Rolls, loops, twists and sharp turns were coming back to me like my favorite cloud on a hot day. Maybe I'm not so bad a metaphors! Or was that a simile? I should ask Twilight what the difference is... anyway, no sooner had I finished, did I hear a voice shout at me from behind. I barely avoided some jerk with no sense of direction in a blur of... not yellow, but not orange either. Kind of in-between.
I was so ready to give this guy and earful when I realized who it was. "S-Spitfire?"
"I said 'heads up'!" she shouted over her shoulder, doubling back around and hovering in front of me. You know, I don't think I've ever really seen her without some kind of flight suit or uniform on before... not that it mattered. I could feel my tongue tying itself in knots. When I had time to prepare, talking to Spitfire, Soarin or any other Wonderbolt, was no problem. But just thrust into interaction like this? With no warning? I probably sounded like an idiot. "You should keep your wits about you if you want to join my squad, Dash."
"Sorry, I was... uhm... just practicing—"
"I noticed!" She smiled at me. I gotta admit, that grin was pretty disarming. I relaxed my shoulders and just hovered beside her. No wonder she was captain, she really knew how to put somepony at ease. "You're pretty good, you know."
"Thanks!" Pull it back, Dash. Don't want to sound too eager. "I mean, yeah, I put in a lot of hours." I scratched my mane with a hoof before I even realized I was doing it. How cliche is that? I quickly dropped my hoof back to my side. "So, what are you doing all the way out here? Don't you live in Manehattan?"
"Yeah, I do in the offseason. But when spring training starts, I have an apartment in Cloudsdale I crash in." She began to grin, brushing her foreleg with the other. What is with the cliches today? "I'm actually here to grab some food. I'm kind of a vegetable snob..."
Spitfire just blushed while admitting to being picky about her food. Maybe she's a normal pony after all. "Well, we do have some pretty killer carrots and stuff around here."
"Yeah, so I've heard..." Nothing like an awkwardly long pause to make you feel like you're a filly back in flight school. "You're coming to the gala this year, right?"
"Heck yeah!" Reel it in, Rainbow. "I mean, yeah, I thought I'd stop by, you know. My friends are going and I'm taking one of them, so I pretty much have to." Played it cool. Perfection!
"That's great! Who're ya taking?" She seemed genuinely interested. No use in keeping it a secret.
"Oh, just Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic." If that doesn't impress her, nothing will!
"Nice. She's pretty cute."
"Heh, yeah, she's a total ba—I mean, uh... w-what about you?" Whew, that was a close one! I was this close to acting like a schoolfilly with a crush in front of the Wonderbolt head of recruitment! Great save, Rainbow! Now let's make it out of this convo with my dignity intact. "I bet you've got some hot piece lined up, right?"
"Actually, yeah." Her eyebrows raised above her orange shades. "You know Broad Sword?"
I put a hoof to my chin. I'd practiced my 'I'm thinking' look for just such an occasion. "That sounds familiar..." I said. It didn't sound familiar at all.
"He's the new royal guard captain. Once Shining Armor became a prince or whatever, they needed a new one. He's the youngest ever appointed." Oh yeah, she was proud. I could see it in her eyes, even through those retro glasses.
"Right, I think I read about that in the paper the other day!" I don't read the paper. I don't even have a subscription. But I can't look afford to look like an oblivious idiot in front of Spitfire!
"Yeah, he's pretty cool. Really laid back for a military type," she replied, straightening her glasses. "I gotta get going, but I'll see you at the gala, right?"
"Definitely!"
"Cool. Hey, if you want, you can come hang with us at the after-party."
No. Way!
"Really?!" C'mon Rainbow, what did I just say about not acting desperate? I was flapping my wings so hard I started to gain altitude. I got them back into a hovering rhythm and collected myself. "That'd be awesome."
She chuckled. I'm going to assume that was with me and not at me. "No problem, besides, the more you get to know us, the better your chances are."
Holy shit.
"You can bring the rest of your friends too, if you want. They're all pretty cool."
"Y-yeah..." Okay, screw not sounding desperate! She just implied I was possibly being considered to be a Wonderbolt! Sure, I went to the Wonderbolt Academy, but anypony can go to that so long as they pay the processing fee and sign up. But this! She practically told me I had a shot! I knew today would be an awesome day, I just knew it!
"See ya, Dash!"
Before I knew it, she was on her way to Ponyville, leaving me hovering there with my mouth open. I didn't even think to close it until she was just a speck on the horizon.
"Yes!" I shouted, pumping my hooves in the air. "Rainbow Dash, you rule!"
Did I ever! Just wait till I tell Twilight!
At The Gala
Okay, so one of my best friends likes me. Likes me likes me. Also, the Gala is tomorrow night. But let's look at the positives! I mean, it's not like Rainbow's affection is a negative; I like Rainbow! Maybe... not as much as she likes me at this point, but she is certainly a viable candidate. I mean, I've known a few truths about myself that many ponies may not have figured out by looking at me. Two of those ponies are my parents, unfortunately. It's not that I'm afraid of what they might think... okay, maybe it is a little bit. But by the time I figured it out, I had moved out of my parents house. On top of that... well, Shining and Cadence aren't really up on the whole 'grandfoals' thing right now, so that expectation kinda fell to me.
What may be obvious at this point, is that two mares can't exactly create a biological foal. We could adopt, of course, and I'd be willing to bet my mother and father would love it just as much as one I had myself. Still, I've kept my... preferences pretty well hidden from my parents. Living away from home does afford certain advantages in the secret-keeping department. Cadence knows, Shining might, but Mom and Dad are clueless. As far as they know, I've just cared more about books than boys.
I'm sure I have nothing to worry about. My parents have never had a bigoted thought in their life! They'd want to see me happy, even if it didn't mean biological grandfoals... right?
Right! I hope.
Anyway, now was not the time to dwell on such matters. It was time to squeeze into my dress. Rarity usually has a habit of 'showing off our curves' as she calls it. This must be fashion-speak for making the dress a size too small. That, and I haven't exactly been a firestorm of exercise lately... or ever before. Rainbow Dash has actually offered to help me work out, but suffice to say reading about exercising is about as close as I'd come to actually doing it, minus a festival like the Running of the Leaves.
Spike was already dressed in his jacket, though you'd be surprised how quickly you can dress yourself when you don't wear pants or shoes. As he was helping me with the zipper on the back, Rainbow knocked at the door. Spike hopped off my back and answered it. What entered the library was a vision of chromatic beauty! Rainbow's mane was done, and her dress looked simply divine. All I could do was gawk for the first few seconds as she stepped inside. I know Spike generally only has eyes for Rarity, but I could tell even he was impressed.
"Close your mouth, Twi. There'll be plenty of time for that after the gala." Sweet Celestia, she is everything I'm not. How can anypony just exude confidence while not appearing arrogant? Something I'd have to study, for sure. After Spike and I were done breathing through our mouths, she told me I looked great in my dress! I was probably as 'red as a country apple' or however that Apple family idiom went.
I managed to untie my tongue. "You're looking lovely, Rainbow." Spike signaled our limo had arrived, and the two of us piled into the back while Spike drove. I say Spike's a baby dragon a lot of the time, but actually he's only a few years younger than I am. Old enough to have a driver's license. The ride there was actually filled with the awkward silence I've been studying up on how to avoid. So far, it was not working.
So, the night was going pretty well! Though the ride to Canterlot was kinda quiet. I dunno why, but it seems like Twi and I have always had junk to talk about up until now. It's weird. We aren't any different than before; we just look all dolled up. "So, you excited to see the princesses?" I asked. I figured she hadn't been to Canterlot in a while.
"Oh yes, it's been a long time! I know better than to try and spend all my time there, though. They have a lot of guests to greet." I nodded. Seemed like we each expected the other to carry the conversation, but they all seemed to fizzle out. We're friends for goodness sake! We should be comfortable around each other; what's the deal here? I sat back and tried to just relax and think of something interesting to talk about.
Thankfully, I felt like once we got to the gala and had a few drinks, we'd loosen up. At the same time, I didn't want to abandon Twilight for the Wonderbolts, just like I hoped she wouldn't leave me hanging for the princesses. Oh crap! That's something I can talk about!
"Oh, I forgot to mention I ran into Spitfire the other day," I said, turning away from the window.
"Really? How'd that go? She invite you to the team yet?"
"Heh, almost. But she did say that you and I could hang with her and the squad at the after-party!"
Twilight gasped. "You mean the one in the Sun and Moon Room in the castle?"
"Uh... I guess..."
"Wow!"
Something about her excitement didn't seem right. I mean, she's been the Princess' student pretty much since she started school! How has she not been invited to the after-party they throw? How have any of us not been invited? We've saved the friggin' kingdom more than once! "So, how have you never been? Aren't you Celestia's most 'faithful student' or whatever?"
She looked like she'd never even thought about it before. She's pretty cute when she realizes something obvious to everypony else. Anyway, the ride to Canterlot was shorter than expected. I could have gotten there faster on my own, but Twilight was my date, and I was gonna ride with her. It's expected. Plus... I kinda like hanging out with her. But not in the same way I like to hang with AJ. I mean... me and AJ could hang anytime and do just about anything. She's the best mare in town to chill with. But Twilight... I dunno, I just find myself wanting to hang out with her for a different reason. A, 'had a dream about her last night and now I need new sheets' reason.
Ugh, this is so not me. I'm Rainbow Dash! I don't do 'crushes'. I don't get butterflies in my stomach around other ponies. I never have before, anyway. But now... now it's different. Now I'm different, I guess. It was kinda silly of me to think I could live my whole life without finding somepony to—No ! Sweet Celestia, I'm starting to sound like Rarity! I'm not some lovestruck mare in a romance novel, I'm the coolest, fastest pony there is!
Finally, we pulled up outside the palace. Thankfully, the royal guards do a pretty good job of keeping the camera ponies out of the event, which was nice, because I hate having my picture taken. Universal praise is one thing, but picture taking kinda sucks for me. I never know how I'm supposed to look in one. I usually smile too much, or not enough. Action shots are okay, but only a few pics of me have ever looked good. On top of that, I can't have pictures of me in this frilly getup making the rounds. While I am totally hot in this dress, I have a reputation to maintain. Anyway, Twi and I headed across the red carpet and into the palace while Spike parked our ride (he's never liked the idea of a valet, according to Twi). The princesses were there to greet us. Apparently, we were the first of our friends to get here, so we kinda just hung out in the lobby. We grabbed a table outside the main hall and had a seat. The doors were still closed, so I guess they didn't want anypony in there yet. Luckily, they set up the open bar just outside! Those princesses think of everything.
"Hey, Twi, I'm gonna get a drink. You want one?"
"Oh," she said, like she was surprised I'd asked. This mare really did need somepony to treat her right! "Uhm... isn't it a little early?"
"C'mon, Twi, it's five o'clock somewhere, right?" I glanced at the fancy clock on the wall. "Actually it's already eight, so I think we'll be okay. Besides, you don't have to have a drink drink. I can get you a soda or something." She glanced over at the princesses, who'd just had a glass of wine brought to them as they kept greeting the arrivals. I'll never understand that princess obsession of hers.
"Okay, I'll have a Dr. Salt if they have it." I couldn't decide between a snort or an eye roll, so I halfway did both. But not in a mean way.
"Comin' up," I said, heading toward the bar. Even though we've been mostly quiet tonight, I think things are going pretty well. I mean, neither of us has said something so unbearably awkward that the other has turned tail and run, and we were already through the weirdly quiet ride over! Not that I'd ever say anything awkward. I wouldn't.
The line moved so slowly. I mean, I get everyone wants to have a good time, but why would you only have one bar for almost one-hundred-fifty ponies? Anyway, once I finally got to the bar, I ordered a whiskey sour and Twilight her soda. Wings are pretty good for holding stuff when you don't have magic.
Rainbow went to get me a drink, which was nice of her. It also gave me a chance to chat with my teacher.
"Ah, Twilight, so good to see you," she said happily. The princess was always happy to see me!
"Good to see you too, Princess!" She smiled at me, as did Princess Luna. Both were always so kind—with the exception of that time I had to defeat Nightmare Moon. Other than that, though, Luna couldn't have been more friendly.
"We are pleased to see you Twilight," Luna said cordially. "It appears your parents have accepted our invitation as well."
My what now?
I looked toward the red carpet and saw my Mom and Dad get out of a chariot, dressed in their finest formal wear. Okay, so I wasn't stressed about them being here, but I certainly wasn't prepared for it. After all, I was here with Rainbow as my date ! Like I said before, my parents would support me... I think... but I still think it'd be best for me to warm them up to the idea.
"Mom, Dad!" I hugged them after the princesses welcomed them. "I didn't expect to see you two here."
"Oh, well, you wouldn't think we'd miss our baby girl's chance to cast the aurora magicalis for all the dignitaries of the world!" My Dad was quite prideful when it came to Shining and I. Mom was too, but a bit less vocal.
"You guys were here for that?" I would have thought they'd have come and wished me luck!
"Oh no, sweetie, we weren't on the grounds, but we could see it from the suburbs," Mom replied. "You did wonderful, Twilight, but how on earth did you get up there to cast it?"
"Oh, well I—"
"Hiya, Mrs. S!" Rainbow is nothing if not perfectly timed. She nodded to my father as well. "Mr. S."
"Oh, Rainbow Dash, so good to see you again!" he said cordially. "How are you?"
"I'm good, just trying to keep an eye on your daughter!"
Rainbow didn't really know I hadn't told my folks about us going together, but the opportunity hadn't presented itself organically, either. I mean, I wasn't flaunting it, but I wouldn't not admit it if they asked. But they wouldn't ask. I hope.
"Ah, well Twily can be quite a hoof-ful when she sets her mind to something." My mom turned to me, and I could practically feel the words she was going to say before they came out of her mouth. "So, did you decide to bring a date this year?" I love my parents. I do! But gah, does this question get tiring . Although this time, I actually did have one, although it may not have exactly been what they were expecting...
I glanced toward Rainbow as she sipped her drink and smiled broadly back at me. That look on her face... she was excited for me to tell my parents about us, about what we were giving a shot. I couldn't let her down. And I wouldn't.
"Yes, I did." Their faces lit up. I could tell they were expecting a nice, strong, Big Macintosh-esque stallion to come trotting in behind me in a tux, just waiting to introduce himself to them. Time to disappoint.
"Well, where is he?" My father asked. Really, my only two options were to kill my fledgeling relationship with Rainbow Dash, or possibly disappoint my parents. This may seem like an easy choice to you, but to me, this is like deciding between drowning or being burned alive.
"She is right here." I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes, putting my hoof around Rainbow, who in turn draped a wing across my back. "I took Rainbow this year," I said seriously.
I opened my eyes, ready for any look my parents could muster. Shock, surprise, disgust, anything! Except amusement, I was wholly unprepared for that.
"Oh, that is just adorable!" My mother laughed. I knew the look on Rainbow's face without even having to look over. Confusion. "Well, you two have fun. We're going to say hello to Shining and Cadence before the banquet starts." Before I could say a word, they were gone. I looked over to Rainbow, who was returning the befuddled expression I'm certain I was giving her.
What... what just happened? It's like Twi's parents just thought we were joking! Honestly, I'm not sure if them whinnying in disgust and walking away would have been more offensive than them not even believing Twilight!
"Did... did they think you were kidding?" I asked, slamming the rest of my drink. I mean, I could handle names, or anger, but this? I was honestly not sure how I was supposed to react.
"I'm not sure." Which was weird, Twilight always had a plan, a backup plan, and a backup-backup plan. "I mean, I told them the truth! Sincerely, even!"
That's when it hit me. I'd bet my bottom bit Twilight had never even mentioned to her folks she wasn't into stallions. It's so obvious! The way they said 'he ,' how excited they got when she said she'd brought a date! They were in some serious denial. But, I guess you'd have to know about something in order to be in denial of it. Hmm...
Anyway, I thought it might be best to let Twilight go talk to her parents, if that's how she was going to handle it. "Look, Twi, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life or anything—"
"You know that's exactly what somepony says before they try and tell you how to live your life, right?"
That's my Twilight. "Yes. Anyway, you should probably tell your parents how into me you are." She rolled her eyes. But she couldn't deny it!
"Yeah, I'll be sure to tell them that. If you see the other girls, tell them I'm already inside, okay?" I gave her a nuzzle and told her I would. I kinda understood where Twi was coming from as far as being scared of telling her folks. They seemed like the upper-class type. The grand-foal wanting type. But then again, they raised Twilight! They couldn't possibly be bigots. Well, I guess technically the Princess did most of the raising.
No way, I'm sure they just misunderstood. I took a step into the courtyard and found AJ had already set up her pastry stand. The line was around the corner! She was looking a bit frazzled as she doled out the eats to the rich ponies.
"Hey, AJ, how's the night goin' so far?" I asked, gliding over.
"Pretty good so far, sugarcube! We already broke last year's sales record!"
"We?" I looked beneath the stand to see Apple Bloom boxing up treats and giving them to AJ as fast as she could. "Oh."
"Yeah, Big Macintosh is usually the one ta help me work the stand, but he's got a hot date with Rarity tonight, so Ah let Apple Bloom stay up past her bedtime t' help me out." She turned and mussed Apple Bloom's mane before turning back to me. "Ya think you can hold down the fort for a while, darlin'?"
"You bet Ah can!" She gave a quick salute as AJ put out a 'Back in an hour' sign on the stand.
"C'mon 'n let's get a drink, sugarcube."
We grabbed a table near the bar and ordered a round. I hadn't eaten since lunch, so the drinks were going straight to the top, which was unfortunate, because all the yelling at the beginning of my tale is directly related to me not being able to think straight. Heh, bad choice of words.
Anyway, I explained what had just happened to AJ, looking for her thoughts on the subject. "Well, that's mighty rough, Rainbow."
"I know! I mean, at least if they were jerks I'd know it!" I sighed. It was only nine, and I was already tired of being in this dress. Sure I looked extra hot in it, but sweet Celestia, was it uncomfortable. I took a sip of my drink and continued. "They just kinda... laughed us off."
AJ raised her eyebrows knowingly as she stirred her drink with the coffee stirrers they put in alcohol for some reason. "So, where's Twilight now?"
"She said she was going to talk to her parents, but who knows if she's worked up the guts to do it yet." I finished the rest of my fourth drink. By this point I was pretty buzzed. "I guess I can't blame her. My parents were way cool about me liking girls. Who knows what Twi's parents might think."
"Yeah, well, their approval notwithstanding, you two shouldn't much care what other folks think of ya."
"I know... it's just, she's way more dependent on her folks than I am on mine."
I could try to blame what happened next on Applejack, but I know it isn't her fault. She didn't force me to do it. She just suggested it.
"Seems ta me like you need ta do somethin' ta prove to Twilight and her folks that you're serious about each other."
Here's where I got myself in trouble.
"You're right, AJ! I should." I slid my glass to the center of the table and got up, nearly bumping into a waiter as I did. "And I know just what I'm gonna do."
Okay, so by this point I was pretty confident that Twilight's parents were just in denial, and all they needed was a gentle push—or shove, as it turned out—in the right direction. And I decided there was only one way for me to do that, but first I had to find Twilight.
It'd been over an hour since my parents got here, and I was still just sitting at their table eating salad like a coward! How could confronting them about my feelings be this difficult? I've faced down chaos itself, and it wasn't this hard! Every time my mother would look in my direction, I'd smile, blush, and stuff more lettuce in my mouth. Disgraceful.
About the time I worked up the courage to speak, I was cut off by a pony on stage with the band. The lights dimmed and my parents excused themselves from the table for another glass of wine. I swear I'm the only one in my family that doesn't drink at every opportunity.
Well, I guess nothing left to do now but drown my sorrows in caesar dressing... I thought, before I noticed Rainbow heading towards me. I must admit, she did have a way of making me smile with just her presence.
What I hadn't noticed, was that Princess Luna was now on the microphone and began thanking all the ponies involved with the aurora magicalis she normally leads. As she was speaking, Rainbow reached me. What happened next was simultaneously the best and worst moment of my life.
Rainbow nearly lifted me up out of my chair and put her forelegs on my shoulders. She said something to me, but I was a little distracted by her intense breath. She'd clearly been back to the bar a time or two. I couldn't quite hear her over Princess Luna's commanding voice amplified by a microphone, but I did manage to catch the last few words of her sentence.
"... I want to show them I'm serious about me and you."
Before I could even inhale the breath needed to ask "Show who?", her lips were pressed against mine. In the darkened banquet hall, with all other eyes focused elsewhere, I slowly embraced it. I embraced her. I finally felt inspired enough to tell my parents anything and everything I've ever thought to keep from them, and I was confident they'd both love and support me no matter what! And they would!
But as the seconds ticked by, I noticed Luna had stopped speaking. In fact, the band had also stopped playing. I also thought I heard a sound like when a bunch of ponies gasp at once. I cracked my eyelids and noticed Rainbow and I were standing in the spotlight. Not figuratively, either.
As we parted our lips, I felt like I'd just caught a hundred-ten degree fever. Rainbow was as red as I've ever seen her. I couldn't imagine how I looked, but I didn't care. I was mortified . Every single eye in that room including my parents, the princesses, and half of Canterlot was on the two of us making out like high schoolers in the middle of the biggest formal event of the year.
I couldn't be here.
So I did the only sensible thing I could think to do.
I ran away.
Where We Began
Okay, so you remember how I said eventually I'd bring you back to the start of this story? Well, hang on, we're almost there.
So, I kissed Twi. In front of Celestia and everybody. Looking back on it, this whole situation was created and ruined by alcohol. There's a lesson in that. Maybe.
Anyway, she bolted. Why she didn't just teleport, I don't know, but she might as well have, because she was gone in a flash. I didn't know what to do at first. I mean, when you make a decision like that, it's usually gonna end one of two ways. So, there I was, standing alone in the spotlight. It felt weird. I usually love being the center of attention, but this time was different—definitely not the kind of attention I wanted. After what felt like hours, Princess Luna cued up the band. I took the chance and headed outside.
I took a trot out to the gardens and sat against a castle wall. This was a lot to process. I think I humiliated one of my best friends, and on top of that, I'm pretty sure the whole country's gonna know about what just happened by tomorrow. I was so sure she'd... agh, I don't know what I was thinking! Maybe if Princess Luna hadn't put us both in the spotlight at the worst possible time.
But... I can't blame the princess. She wasn't the one who decided to make a move on Twilight. In front of her parents. And brother. And everypony else. I can't believe I thought that would be a good idea! What was I thinking? I pounded my hooves into the dirt. I felt lower than some dumb country analogy. I bet she hated me. I looked up at the moon. Where does Luna find the time for moon raising and this formal stuff? At least the gardens were quiet. No wonder Fluttershy liked it out here so much. She's inside probably enjoying her date with Soarin too much to notice.
Sheesh, of all the ponies to have their date go south, it had to be me! I don't even know why I show up to junk like this. I hate dresses, I hate snooty Canterlot ponies, and I hate being cooped up with a bunch of ponies that wouldn't know a good time if Pinkie fired one out of a cannon and into their faces!
"Hey, Sugarcube." I didn't even hear her walk up. I guess I had a lot on the brain.
"Hey, AJ," I sighed. I glanced at her. I swear, I'll never meet another mare that could wear an apple-themed dress and not look like a lunatic. She took a seat next to me. I guess neither of us were thinking about the fit Rarity would be throwing if she knew we were sitting on bare grass in our dresses.
There were a few minutes of awkward silence before AJ decided to speak up. "So, Ah don't mean to rub it in, but when Ah told ya to do something ta prove to Twi and her parents that you two were datin' for real, Ah was thinking more along the lines of talkin' to them. Not frenchin' Twilight."
I shot a glare at her. So much for not wanting to rub it in. "Yeah, thanks for the tip." I ran a hoof through my mane. "Do you think Twilight hates me?"
Applejack chuckled. "C'mon, you think Twi could hate anypony?"
"She ran away like she could," I mumbled. I felt a hoof around my shoulder.
"Ah'll bet it was just embarrassment, not hate," she said, like that somehow made it better.
"So, she's embarrassed to be with me," I snapped. "If this is your idea of helping, you're not doing a great job." I couldn't help but think this was all entertainment to her. Maybe it was just her casual tone.
"Look, Ah can't really say for sure what you should do, but talkin' to her is probably a good place to start." That sounded like a good plan, but...
"I guess... but what if she doesn't want to talk to me?"
"Well, then, there ain't much you can do. But I'd wager if there's anypony that could make this right, it's you."
I sat for a while, tilting my head back against the wall. "Where do you think she went?" I asked.
"Couldn't help ya there." She stood up beside me. "I gotta head back to the apple stand. Good luck with Twi, darlin'."
I sighed, waving a hoof as she left. I got up and stretched my wings. The night was cool, even in this dress. If I had to guess, Twilight had run straight back to our room in the tower.
If I was lucky, she'd have left the window unlocked.
My mind was still swimming, even after I made it back to our room. I swear I saw everypony's eyes looking right at me. My parents, Celestia, Luna, Shining, Cadence! Sweet Celestia, what must my parents be thinking right now?
I can't believe Rainbow Dash would do something like that! Does she think I'd just fall into bed with her or something? That I'd be easy just because I'm her friend? Well, I could tell you that I wasn't about to let this go. She embarrassed me in front of the entire royal court by getting drunk and... doing that!
I had to calm down. I've gotten worked up over a lot less than this, and if I didn't get myself under control, well... I don't think Princess Celestia would be happy having to clean up another of my messes.
I took a deep breath, trying to lessen my feelings. It wasn't just anger, it was embarrassment, too. That was the odd part. I've never been embarrassed to be seen with any of my friends. In fact, I'd assume more often than not, it's the other way around. But something about having an act that's supposed to be private thrust into the public eye like that upset me more than I was willing to admit. Looking back on it now, it was so trivial. No one cared! I'm an Element of Harmony! If not for me, these ponies would have been slaves to Discord, King Sombra, Chrysalis, who knows? Their opinions of my romantic life should have meant nothing to me!
They don't now. But at the time, I was just young and upset. I was mad, but I should have seen what Rainbow did for what it was. An act of affection, an expression of her feelings for me. All those times I'd wished to know what being loved by another pony was like had been shoved right in my face, and what did I do? I ran away.
I wanted to get out of this stupid dress and just get into bed, lock the doors, and sleep until tomorrow. I got the gown off when I heard a flutter on the balcony. Just as the fire in me died down, the sight of her stoked it again. She opened the double doors and stepped inside. I didn't say anything at first. If she had something to say, I owed it to her to let her say it.
"Twilight?" she asked, as though she were calling for me in a dark room. "You okay?"
She better have more than that. I thought.
"Just. Fine," I spat.
Rainbow sighed. It wasn't like her. As unsettling as I found it, I kept up my silence. Maybe more of Dash's stubbornness had rubbed off on me than I like to admit.
"Look, I'm sorry I embarrassed you." Seemed like she'd been taking lessons from Rarity in the venom department. Maybe she wasn't as intoxicated as I thought. Still, in my mind at the time, I felt I was the one who had the right to be upset and angry, not her. The emphasis she put on the word 'embarrassment' was enough to tip my scales. To this day, I count this argument as one of my most heavy regrets.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" I growled. "You do that in front of the princesses, the royal court, and my family and you come here to spit sarcasm at me?"
Her face hardened up. She was digging in for a fight. But this time, I wasn't going to shy away. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't think me being your date was something you wanted to hide!"
"No, you didn't think! What a surprise!" By this point I was packing what few items I'd brought with me, separating our things. I was on the verge of tears, but not just tears of sadness. There were a lot of things going through my mind at the time, and I didn't have the time to sort through all of them. Rainbow and I... we were supposed to work. It was my first try at courtship, though that's probably not very hard to believe. All the novels I'd read, and magazines I'd skimmed described romances as perfect scenarios. Yes, there could be fights, disagreements, differences of opinion, but in the end, they always worked out.
But this wasn't like those stories. This was reality. In reality, some don't realize they're on a sinking ship until it's already halfway underwater.
"At least I don't over-think everything to the point where I can't even function! Oh, what will my parents say? What will the princesses think? " Dash said in her heaviest mocking imitation of me. "Who cares what they think! That's your problem, you live your whole life by what other ponies think of you! You're no better than Rarity!"
I gasped. "You take that back!"
"Hey, if the shoe fits," she jeered, turning her head away from me.
That was the last straw. "Why don't you just go to your stupid Wonderbolt party! That's probably the whole reason you're here anyway! Maybe you can talk your way in, because Celestia knows they aren't just gonna invite you." I hated myself for saying such hurtful things to her. It's not like me at all. By this point, I'd actually forgotten about the initial embarrassment. I was just focused on making sure she felt the sting of my words.
Dash's jaw fell open a bit. I don't know if she just wasn't expecting a low blow, or she didn't think I could deliver one, but either way, the look on her face and in her eyes is something I'll never forget.
The silence dragged on for what felt like hours, but it was only a few seconds, at the most. Rainbow recovered, and closed her mouth. For a moment, she looked like a boxer that just weathered a harsh hit to the face. She was blinking, glancing around the room a bit before collecting herself and glaring at me.
"Fine. I will. I knew I should have just gone alone," she grumbled angrily, stepping toward the balcony she'd come from. "Have fun wasting your life worrying." The hurt was gone. Replaced by anger. Nopony hurts Rainbow Dash. She'd built armor out of her ego, and anything anypony said to her just glanced off it. I was her friend. She trusted me, and I used that trust to hurt her, purely out of spite and anger. I felt sick.
I fell on my haunches, my stomach swirling as I contemplated how big of a deal I'd made out of something I should have been excited to receive. She was my first kiss. I should have been overjoyed. It's not like she made Princess Luna congratulate me on a job well done at that exact moment.
I sniffed as my nose started to run. I guess I wasn't as good at fighting with somepony I genuinely cared about as I thought.
Well, there you go. Now we're back to where we started.
Screw her. I don't need Twilight, I thought. That would be the last time I take AJ's advice on anything for a while. I was still pissed off. Talking only made us both more upset, and now, instead of crawling into bed with Twilight, I was headed to the Wonderbolt's after-party to get annihilated drunk. Maybe, if I had the energy, I could fly home. I knew I sure as hell wasn't staying in that room tonight.
So I did. I found the Wonderbolts, we talked stunt flying shop, and I drank cocktail after cocktail. To tell you the truth, I don't really remember much of the night after that. I guess it's true what they say. Alcohol is the cause and solution to all the world's problems. Anyway, the party was winding down at around four in the morning. I don't think I saw Soarin or Fluttershy there, but who knows where they went. I do remember Spitfire telling me they had to be in Trottingham in the morning for a show, and they'd be sleeping on the tour bus tonight.
She probably asked me where my date went. Hopefully I didn't embarrass myself answering, but who knows what I said.
This part of the story is not my proudest moment. I ended up sprawled on a bench in the palace gardens. It was as far as I could make it, though who knows where I thought I was going. And, of course, you'll never guess who found me.
I was about to drift off to sleep when I heard a knock at the door. My cheeks and eyes were still a bit puffy, and I was exhausted; mentally and physically. I debated answering the door. It could have been Rainbow, come to hurl more insults now that she probably had gotten good and sauced. It could have been a palace servant come to bring me fresh towels. Though, at three in the morning, that was unlikely.
They knocked again. I threw myself out of bed and trotted hotly to the door.
"Go away!" I shouted.
"Ah know you're upset Sugarcube, but Ah just mean to talk to ya."
I don't know how she did it, but Applejack had impeccable timing. I opened the door expecting to see the filly that had been following her around all night, helping to sell her apples and apple accessories.
"Where's Apple Bloom?"
"She's plum tuckered. Ordinarily, I wouldn't leave her alone, but the palace is crawlin' with guards," she replied.
"Mac couldn't watch her?" I asked before recalling he had a date this year.
Applejack blushed. "Uh, he and Rarity got their own room for tonight..."
"Oh," I added knowingly. Though, I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about him before—err, anyway...
Applejack stepped inside and marveled at the room as I lit a few candles with magic. "Sure is a nice place the princesses set ya up with!"
"Yeah, it's a little big for my tastes. I mean, when were Rainbow and I going to use a basketball court?"
Applejack sat down on a chair in the great room and turned back to me. She had changed out of her formal dress, now wearing the only piece of clothing I knew she was comfortable with. "So, Ah came ta talk to ya about Rainbow. Ah know it's none of my business, what goes on between you two—and Ah'll leave if you want—but Ah wanted to at least try."
I knew what this was about the moment she said she wanted to talk. As much as I didn't want to re-open this wound, I thought maybe a third party would help me understand what Rainbow was thinking. It was the first rational decision I'd made all night. "Okay," I mumbled in defeat, taking a seat across from her. More like a slouch, really.
Applejack adjusted her hat and took a deep breath. "Alright, well, ya may be wondering why Ah've taken an interest in the two of ya. Ah'm not tryin' ta play matchmaker or anythin' like that, but I'd be lyin' if Ah said Ah didn't have a hoof in what happened tonight."
I raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
Applejack nodded. "Rainbow came ta see me after you'd introduced her to your parents—tellin' them she was your date and all," she began. "Believe it or not, Dash was pretty upset that your parents just laughed it off, like the two of you weren't serious."
"But we aren't serious!" I interrupted. "This was our first real date!"
She smiled at me, as though she knew something I didn't. "To Rainbow, you are. Ah know you love all of us as your friends, Twi, but some of us ya don't know as well as ya might think." She sat back in her chair. "Rainbow doesn't really let anypony connect with her on the level you have very often. She was tellin' me the way you didn't insist to your parents that it was rude to laugh the way they did at the two of you here together really shook her up."
I nodded dumbly. In all my years of analytical thinking, all the time spent analyzing every possible angle of a problem, I never stopped to try and see things from Rainbow's perspective. Although, it is a bit hard for me, considering I'm nearly the exact opposite of her.
Applejack's eyes shifted around as she smiled at me sheepishly. "And, Ah may have given her some advice she took the wrong way."
I leaned forward. "Such as?"
"Ah told her she needed to prove to you and your parents that the two of you were serious. You had your way of proving it to them, and she had hers. Hers was a little more... public than yours Ah'd wager, but that wasn't all her fault."
I should have been angry at Applejack, but I wasn't. I was... relieved. It was odd that this feeling had only come after Applejack had talked to me, but a good feeling nonetheless. "I... I think I overreacted a bit."
She waved a hoof. "Nah, I wouldn't want to smooch my special somepony in front of all those strange ponies either."
"Not just there... Rainbow came back here after. We had a pretty nasty argument. She left about two hours ago." Those sickening stomach pains came rushing back. I had said such terrible things to her in my anger. I closed my eyes briefly and all I saw was that hurt look on Rainbow's face. I never wanted to see it again.
Applejack looked confused. "She ain't here?"
I shook my head. "I told her she should go to the Wonderbolt party."
Applejack looked at the antique clock in the corner of the room. "We should probably go look for her," she suggested.
"No, let me. You go back to Apple Bloom." I stood from my seat as she did the same.
Applejack nodded as she stepped toward the door. "Alright then. Ya may not like the state she's in when ya find her. Rainbow ain't a stranger to looking for answers in cocktails," she warned.
I smiled. "I know. I owe her one."
I had no idea where to start looking after I tried the Sun and Moon room. It was locked up tight, and none of the guards cleaning up had seen Rainbow for the past hour. I sat on the steps outside the building. Where could she have gone? I thought.
I sighed, setting my head on my hooves. She could have flown home for all I knew, and she had every right. The palace was closed down for the night, most buildings shuttered, and the portcullis closed. Only the night watch of Luna's guard remained awake. They always seemed colder than the daytime royal guards. I think it was their eyes. Yellow, like a cat's, and vertical pupils, too. Those bat-wings just seemed... scarier, I guess. Every now and then I'd catch their glowing eyes on me before continuing their sweep of the grounds.
I walked toward the gardens, thinking that eventually I'd see Rainbow. If not tonight, then maybe tomorrow, or some time in Ponyville. Time wouldn't make our seeing each other any less awkward, I felt sure.
Wandering around was something I didn't do very often. The gardens were peaceful, especially at this time of night. For all the times I've planned my activities down to the minute, sometimes it's nice to just waste them. Not often, but occasionally. I found a bench behind a tall hedge and sat down. My hooves ached from walking in those fancy shoes, so I'd kicked them off before going looking for Rainbow. Even without them, the ground wasn't as soft as I'd have liked.
I leaned back against the bench and stared up at the moon. It was bright and full, with only a few clouds to block its light. I sighed, running a hoof through my styled mane. It was a lot less styled by then. I closed my eyes and tried to think about how I was going to apologize to Rainbow, when I heard a sound come from the other side of the hedge.
It was a belch. Loudest and... belch-iest I'd ever heard. I stood on the bench and set my forelegs on the top of the bush. On the opposite side, Rainbow lay on a bench, the front of her dress stained by swigs of spilled drink while her elegantly braided mane had come undone in places. A low moan escaped her lips before I spied a bottle roll away from her hoof.
"Rainbow?"
The Truth
"Rainbow?" I asked again, even though it was obviously her fighting alcohol poisoning.
"Alright... alright... I'll go back to... somewhere," she mumbled, lifting her head from the bench and flopping it down on the hardwood. It looked painful, but I doubt she could feel it. I think she thought I was a guard. I hopped over the hedge and settled myself. She cracked her unfocused eyes, taking a few seconds to register who was sitting in front of her.
"Oh... look who it is. Spilight Twarkle. Ms. I'm-too-good-for-Rainbow-Dash."
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help but feel like this was somewhat my fault. I knew Rainbow didn't really have many coping skills, but I had no idea the few she had were this self-destructive. I couldn't help but stifle a giggle. If this is what I looked like during my little adventure with alcohol, Rainbow must have been a saint to put up with me.
"I'm not too good for you, Rainbow."
She snorted derisively and rolled away from me. "I'd have an easier time talking to your face rather than your wings," I reminded her. In Communicating with Drunks; a Beginner's Guide , it says your voice should be firm, but not condescending. "I just didn't expect you to do something like that in front of everypony. I am still upset," I made sure she knew this wasn't just me apologizing. It was just as much her fault. Maybe even a little more. "But... I'll get over it."
Just as I'd finished what I'd assumed would set things right for the moment, I heard the delightful sounds of liquified stomach contents erupting from a mare's mouth. I sighed. Thank Celestia for magic.
I lifted her from the bench and cleaned the little bit of bile off her dress. Rarity would have a fit if she saw what Rainbow did to this thing. Her mane hung down over her eyes as I sat her on the grass next to me and far away from the pile of vomit I regret leaving for a groundskeeper to discover. From her sitting position, Dash promptly fell onto her back, her disheveled mane, staring slack jawed at the stars while a bit of excess saliva still clung to her otherwise parched lips.
I sat there for a few minutes with her. I figured she'd be ready to move in time, having expelled all the undigested alcohol on an unsuspecting patch of grass.
"You really think I'll never be a Wonderbolt?"
I chewed my lip for a second. Ahg, why did words have to come back to haunt me! I would have thought she was in such a stupor she'd have forgotten our argument. "Well, I mean, I said some pretty mean things back there, and when you're upset, you say stuff just to hurt somepony's feelings." I admitted, looking over to her, expecting her to do the same. She simply kept up her blank stare at the stars. "I did that, and I'm sorry, Rainbow. You're a great flier, and you could join the Wonderbolts if you wanted to."
Rainbow closed her eyes. At first I thought she was about to cry, but then I realized the stars had probably begun to spin on her. "Thanks, Twilight. Sorry I said... whatever I said." That was probably the best I could hope for at this point.
"I'm glad. So, would you like to take this party back to our room?" I asked, unable to stop a smile. Rainbow opened her eyes. She rolled onto her side, pushing herself to her hooves on unsteady legs before falling back down. "Let me help you."
A quick levitation spell, and my droopy date was across my back. Pegasi are actually pretty light compared to earth ponies and unicorns. They have to be to walk on clouds! But it's mostly due to their hollow bones. Lightweight, but tough due to their octagonal structure they... sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, I quickly teleported both of us back to our room. Unfortunately I managed to put us in the fountain. Still, I think the water sobered Dash up a bit. After her dunk, she managed to get out by herself as I dried off.
After shaking herself dry (or trying to) she sat on her flanks in the doorway to our bedroom. I trotted behind her, draping a towel over her damp shoulders. I tried to walk around her but her foreleg struck out against the door, blocking my way.
"Uh, I can't get to bed with you—" That was all I got out before I found myself on my side, a pegasus that felt a lot heavier now than earlier perched on top of me. Before I had time to react, she enacted her most diabolical plan yet. "No! Rainbow! Please, stop!"
I was at her mercy. Those darn feathers of her running down my sides. I was powerless as I fought my giggles. Even when blind drunk, she still knew exactly where I was ticklish. Now, I know what you're thinking. Why not just use your magic, Twilight? Well, magic takes concentration. Tickling breaks that concentration. Luckily, I managed to ignore her feathers just long enough to cast a holding spell. After I caught my breath, I took in the grassy, rough mare before me. She was still laughing, but her eyes still held the shine of too much alcohol.
I know what I could have, and by rights should have done. I should have taken a feather from our bed and ticked her until she turned blue. Blue-er. But then where would the tickle fights end? I couldn't watch my back twenty four-seven!
I floated her over to the bed and laid her in it, careful not to release her until I was already beneath the blankets. "I should have gotten you back for that," I reminded her, turning my head as she met my eyes. "You're lucky I'm so mature."
She snorted. "Yeah, lucky me."
We just lay there for a while. As tired as I was, I thought I'd go right to sleep.
"I didn't plan what happened tonight," Rainbow whispered hoarsely. Somehow, even when we were fighting, I knew that.
"I know. It was just so... unexpected," I replied.
Rainbow sat up, removing her grass-stained dress before looking over herself. "I could probably use a bath." I scrunched my nose. She wasn't lying.
She hopped out of bed and trotted towards the bathroom. Once the door was closed, I stared at the ceiling. Time alone with my thoughts were most dangerous. Especially when it came to something I had no experience to draw upon. I liked Rainbow. Rainbow liked me! Whether we announced it to the world or not, this was our first date. Ponies who liked other ponies got kissed by those ponies. Sometimes even on the first date, if my books were to be believed. Even though it was embarrassing to be in the spotlight at the time, I didn't consider what running away from Rainbow would mean to her.
I looked toward the bathroom door. Steam had started to seep beneath it as the shower ran. I should have just smiled, dealt with my blushing cheeks and pulled her aside later. That would have been the mature thing to do. But I didn't do that. Instead, I ran. Maybe I'm not ready for something like this. Maybe all my romance novels just made me think I know what it takes to make a relationship work.
But, everypony has to start somewhere, right? Why not now? With Rainbow?
As I lay there, the dangerous part of me being alone with my thoughts crept in. I over-think things more often than I'd like to admit. What if Rainbow and I broke up? What if we just aren't meant for each other? What if this is just a passing flame? What if by being together, my love for her overtakes my love for my friends and screws up the Elements of Harmony?
I grabbed an extra pillow and put it over my face. Maybe lacking oxygen would help me stop thinking.
It didn't, but it was worth a shot. Before I knew it, a light from the bathroom blinded me. Rainbow shut it off as she dried herself with a towel. I was actually pretty surprised how dexterous wings could be. She gently shook the remaining moisture from her mane and pulled the blankets back. She hadn't said a word since our tickle fight, and I wasn't sure what to make of that. Was she mad? Tired? Still drunk? Well, she was probably still drunk, but I sought her out an apologized! Shouldn't that at least warrant a warm shoulder?
She got back into bed and slid beneath the covers. I laid there, wondering if she knew whether or not I was still awake, when she surprised me. "Sorry for what I said earlier about you worrying your life away."
Her breath smelled like a mix of alcohol and peppermints. I couldn't tell if that was due to her brushing her teeth or just a hearty dose of schnapps. "Thanks, Rainbow." I guess showers do a lot more for sobriety than I realized.
"I guess... I guess I just wanted to show you, uhm..."
I looked over at her. The moonlight shining from the double doors leading to our balcony didn't do much to dull the vibrance of her mane. I couldn't help but return her hopeful smile. I rolled over onto my side, facing her, propping my head up with a hoof. Although I'm not proud to admit it, I'd practiced this pose.
"You know..." she finished. I had never seen this Rainbow Dash before. Probably because I was never around her when she was this drunk, but still. I could maybe afford to have some fun with her. Perhaps make her squirm a little.
Not in that way.
"Know what?" I asked coyly.
She huffed, her breath racing from her nose as she pouted. "Are you really gonna make me say it?"
I smiled. You bet I was. How often would I get a chance to do this? "Mhm."
"Fine. I wanted to show you that I liked you." The words flowed with relative ease, making me wonder why she'd hesitated in the first place. She clearly didn't mind showing me her feelings. In all honesty, it made me feel special. "Because I do. More than I realized."
If it weren't dark in our room, she probably would have teased me to no end. I bet my face was red as a tomato. "I like you too, Rainbow," I admitted. Now it was my turn for a confession. "I actually wish we could have had our private moment a bit more... privately." I had long since broken eye contact, until I felt her hoof on mine. I glanced up. I could have sworn she had somehow moved a lot closer to me than she had been a few seconds ago.
"I mean, there's no reason why we can't get a do-over, is there?" she whispered. Suddenly, I was aware of how incredibly fast my heart was beating. Were this any other scenario, I'd be worrying myself over the possibility of a myocardial infarction... I mean a heart attack. My mouth dried up and I was now extremely conscious of the fact that my lips were probably so dry that Rainbow would recoil in disgust after touching them!
All my relatively smooth talk had vanished, and now it seemed I would be the one to squirm for Rainbow.
Again, not like that.
"I-I guess not." The last kiss was a surprise. I wasn't expecting it, I had no time to over-think it! But now, I knew it was coming. My stupid physiology had time to betray me, to turn the suave, seductive Twilight I had been for only a few seconds into a blithering, cotton-mouthed filly. If I wanted this to happen while I still had some semblance of wits and saliva about, it needed to happen now.
Somehow, Rainbow sliding towards me with half lidded eyes was like something out of a movie. There was nothing about her I would have changed in that moment. I, however, felt myself awkwardly catching on the sheets as I tried to extend my neck to cover the length I was missing to meet her. Celestia only knows how ridiculous I must have looked. Thankfully, by the time I had the quickness to contemplate all of this, her lips were pressed against mine.
You're supposed to close your eyes when you kiss, which means you have to operate by feel alone. And that's a tall order considering my first kiss was a scant few hours ago. But... honestly, I kind of just fell into a rhythm with her. In a way, you can just play off your partners signals. Whatever she did, I tried to follow, and honestly, it worked! Even once our... uhm... tongues got involved.
I have to admit, this kiss was wonderful. It was everything I've ever wanted and more. All too soon, she pulled away. I said the only thing that came to mind. "Wow."
She smiled. I'd have given up every book in my personal collection to be able to see that smile whenever I wanted.
"Not bad, huh?" she asked.
"Nope," I replied wearily.
She leaned over again. I put my lips together expectantly, but she gave me a peck on the forehead instead.
"You're cute when you're embarrassed."
I giggled nervously. "You too."
She rolled her eyes. To this day, I'm not a very smooth talker.
"Goodnight, Twilight." Just as quickly as our passion had risen, it was gone. She rolled over and pulled the blanket around her shoulders, leaving me staring at the now neatly folded blued wings creating lumps beneath the blanket.
What a night.
That was it. That's the whole story. Twilight and I had our fun a few times past that night. We hung out in the library, out in the fields, and I even convinced her to come out to the bar again once! She took it a bit slower than last time.
This is probably the part of the story where you expect me to tell you about how Twilight and I went on more dates, had more good times, got married and magically produced a foal, or we lived in the palace happily forever or something. Well, that's not the case. Sometimes... I wish it had been.
But life isn't a fairytale. Not everything works out just because you want it to. Yeah, we had our fun, and I do love Twilight. As a friend. There was a chance for us to go farther, to become marefriends or lovers or whatever you want to call it.
It didn't happen. We had a choice to make. I had my career to think about. And then there's the matter of her becoming a princess. That kinda put a damper on the two of us making time for each other. I'm not blaming her for that, because it's not her fault. Princess Celestia doesn't choose to make a pony into an alicorn every day, you know.
Twilight was sent here to make friends and discover how having us around made her life so much better. And we did. Me, especially. We still keep in touch. She's actually really good at sending her weekly letters to the five of us. This is Twi we're talking about here.
She loves Canterlot. She's always been about helping others, and now, she gets to do that all day. We're supposed to go see her next month. I'm looking forward to it, and so are the girls. I've probably been looking forward to it more than I'd like to admit... but it's okay. She's happy. I'm happy for her.
There will be other ponies for me. That's what she told me before she hopped on the train to Canterlot. I believe her. I don't know where they are, but I hope I find them soon. Or they find me.
